Doug Loves Movies - Thomas Middleditch, Dan Harmon, Matt Jones and James Ponsoldt guest
Episode Date: August 19, 2015Back at the UCB Theatre in LA, Doug welcomes Thomas Middleditch, Dan Harmon, Matt Jones and James Ponsoldt to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy... Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeamish babies, sticky seats
With 50 acid pop-up kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
But Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey everybody!
My name is Doug.
And this is a later start for the show.
So I'm more fucked up than usual.
And I love movies.
So little time has gone by and you guys have forgotten how to do it.
But thank you for being here.
We're coming to you once again from our old home.
It's 10 years in at this point, approximately.
The UCB Theater in Los Angeles.
9.30 p.m. ish.
Put your hands together just to apologize to us.
Then they ran out the door.
It's Tuesday, August 18th, 2015.
This microphone keeps feeling a little feedback-y hollow-y to me,
so adjust accordingly.
I think it's already fixed.
Next L.A. show will be on Sunday, August 30th
at Meltdown Comics at 420-ish.
And I've got stand-up shows coming up
in Phoenix, Wichita, Columbia, Missouri,
Providence, Rhode Island, Virginia Beach,
wherever that is, and more.
DouglasMovies.com for deets.
And, oh, also Douglas Movies tapings for deets. And, oh, also,
Doug Loves Movies tapings are coming up
in Dallas, Seattle, Boston, etc.
Yes, we're coming to etc. soon.
Apologies.
Speaking of apologies,
for the poor sound quality
on Saturday's show from Kansas City,
but at least it wasn't a lost episode.
It was just a poorly recorded episode.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief
tweets about movies.
At TimBabComedian tweeted,
For most Marvel movies,
you have to stay after the credits.
For Fantastic Four, you can
leave after the previews.
This has been to me
a really fantastic
for no one edition.
Prize bag,
I was on
at midnight last week
and won, of course.
I say of course
even though I have less
than a 50% success rate
on that show.
But in the bag, in the At Midnight bag tonight,
we have a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt,
a promotional tool CD,
what they always give me when I go on At Midnight,
a box of Delush's cookies.
Yeah, I don't eat that shit.
And then a lighter from Chameleon Glass
and another shirt from a,
it's a drink that has weed in it,
and it's called Sprig.
And the shirt says Sprig, smile more.
Which, you know, whenever you see someone
who's not smiling, that's the first thing
they want you to do is request that they smile.
Smile more.
And as you can see, we've got four guests coming on tonight
who have hopefully all brought something for the prize bag.
So please give a big, warm UCB Los Angeles Franklin Avenue location
welcome to James Ponsold, Matt Jones,
Dan Harmon, and Thomas Middleditch.
Thank you.
Only one of whom managed to find their way
to the stage.
So go ahead and pick up your microphone, Thomas.
Did you call all the names?
I did.
Okay, so they all died on the way over.
Also, the sound is very weird tonight.
There's feedback on his mic as well, so...
Now is there.
Fix that shit.
Now it sounds good. Come on out, guys.
Sit wherever you want.
Yeah, everyone.
It's an improv game.
It's called one person comes on,
and everybody comes on later, and then he leaves.
It's complicated, but Drew Carey gives points.
We need some monitors backstage.
Monitors.
Oh, you mean like people that are hired to tell you when it's time to come on stage?
Don't fire anyone, Doug.
The hall monitors.
Yeah, nobody's fired.
I don't know.
It was a lively scene backstage, so I couldn't get everybody's attention to say,
the show's about to start.
I'm going to talk for a few minutes and then bring all of you on at once.
But now that we're past that debacle.
Also, that's just something you always say when you run into us at restaurants and stuff.
Yes.
We've learned to ignore it by now.
Yeah, I would introduce you guys all at the same time.
The show's about to start, I'm going to talk, I'm going to bring it up.
They're like, okay, Doug, it's fine.
Table five needs bread.
Let's start with Thomas Middleditch is here, everybody.
Yay, all right.
First time guest on the program.
Hilarious on Silicon Valley.
Yes.
And as it turns out,
most of you don't know this,
very funny in a new film
called The Final Girls.
Oh, yes, that's a film. It'll be coming out
I believe October.
Yeah, yeah.
You're hilarious in it and a
very different character from your
character on the TV show. Yes.
He's got less
fidgety moments.
It's a black woman.
Yeah. I play a pregnant
black woman. But play a pregnant black woman
But also it won't ruin the laugh by me saying this
Has a very funny fall over a velvet rope
Oh yeah
Like a stanchioned rope
You have a very good pratfall in that film
You leave a velvet rope around
Old Tommy's gonna do a pratfall
In the script or not
I'm falling over that rope.
Good old Tommy.
I'm doing what Tommy do,
falling over velvet ropes.
Well, thanks for being here, dude.
My pleasure.
And another first-timer on the program,
Dan Harmon is here, everybody.
Thank you.
It's funny that you've been on the Weed Show twice,
but the show that's just about movie trivia,
which I would think you would kill even harder,
you're finally here.
Yeah, just in time for the two Weed Shows
to knock out all of my movie knowledge.
I think you still got a little bit in you.
I don't know.
I find myself not remembering the name of Jake Gyllenhaal.
Right, but
just now you
nailed it, but
maybe you were thinking of someone else.
No, I was actually thinking of
Mark Jacobs.
That's a
clothing thing, right? Mark Jacobs?
My brain's just pudding.
Alright. Well, let's have some more beer, and it'll all work out.
Words of encouragement.
Yeah.
Rick and Morty is back.
We're talking season two?
Yeah, season two is currently on the air.
Currently happening.
Yeah.
Which night of the week can people see it?
Sunday, I think.
11.30-ish.
I should have done the research.
I apologize.
No, it doesn't matter anymore.
They're 25.
They torrent everything.
Right?
It doesn't matter.
But there's a Velvet Rope episode coming up
where the characters...
I'm listening.
If you tune into the actual
show instead of torrenting it, we
superimpose a Velvet Rope, and
Rick and Morty both
do the funniest fall over
the Velvet Rope.
I'll be the judge on that. Only at 11.30
on Sunday at Adult Swim.
We'll do a Velvet Rope side-by-side comparison.
The final girls in Mac and Marty.
Right on.
Matt Jones is back, you guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Boo.
I lost a fucking Haley Joel Osment last time I was here.
Haley fucking Joel fucking Osment.
That dead piece of shit.
He's great, though.
He's a sweet kid.
He's super duper, super duper.
Yeah, and you are probably the person I know
who most sounds like he has a problem with marijuana.
I know, and I don't smoke it.
And you don't smoke it. I don't.
It's a huge disappointment.
That's my name on my
autobiography.
Dude, I mean,
we love you as Badger, of course,
on the best show ever made.
second best show,
you were in an episode of Gilmore Girls?
I was. I was.
I was.
In 2000, 2001. What did you play in that?
It's a really long story, but I played a guy who said two words
as like a cousin of a character that I don't even know.
So they had like an elaborate setup,
and then when you said those two words, it brought the house down.
No, no.
The camera was not even on me when you said those two words it brought the house down. No, no. The camera was not even on me
when I said my two words.
But I got my SAG card and
Oh, that's how you got it. That's pretty cool.
I made like two grand and I lied about being in SAG
and I wasn't.
And then the production called me and like yelled
at me because they're like, you're not in SAG.
And I was like, yeah, I know.
No, actually I was like,
I'm not? Oh. Oh, I thought I was. No, actually, I was like, I'm not?
Oh, I thought I was.
Oh, I should make some calls.
So then they ended up tap hardly and spending all this money on me
and I got my sidecar, so fuck them.
It's great. And now I work for them. Warner Brothers.
Great. They're great. I love them.
Well, thanks for coming back
and James Ponsolt is back on the show.
Yeah!
It was last year when The Spectacular Now,
which he directed,
we were promoting that.
Two years ago.
A big fan of that.
And now you're back because he just directed,
some of you have probably already seen it,
The End of the Tour.
Woo!
Yeah, with Jason Segel.
Lots of Oscar talk for him.
Like maybe he'll meet somebody named Oscar as a result.
Maybe, yeah.
And he'll get to hold Oscar in his hands.
And of course it's a movie about David Foster Wallace
who wrote the million-page Infinite Jest.
And my question about the movie for you,
if you don't mind me asking,
is did he and David Lipsky,
the author, the interviewer
that's following him around in the film,
did they in real life really go to the Mall of America
to watch John Woo's Broken Arrow,
starring John Travolta and Christian Slater?
In real life, they really did.
Yes! With the best scene ever, with a
nuclear missile impaling John Travolta. Well, that's what I love,
that you included that in the movie, the scene
where John Travolta's the villain when
the missile is heading towards him. Probably
one of the best choices made by an actor
playing a villain in the history of cinema
because he smiles a little bit.
He has like a little smile on his face like,
yeah, okay, you got me.
I'm going to be blown the fuck away.
What's that?
Leon McDuff.
That's the classic, that's Macbeth.
Yeah, I don't know about that stuff.
Oh boy.
I don't know that McDuff stuff, but.
Ah, the boards, the boards.
You know, Hans Gruber didn't smile
when he was falling to his death off of Nakatomi Plaza.
But he did, like, the watch came off
and it felt like he was more, like,
kind of, like, freaked out about the watch coming off.
Germans and their watches, man.
The craftsmanship.
What a shame.
Yeah, because your body can die,
but if order dies,
he's like,
that's the true German death.
I've actually thought about
when they were actually shooting that.
Was that on a green screen back then?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Blue screen, blue screen.
Blue screen?
Gotta be blue, bro.
Okay.
They didn't have green back then.
Because that had not been done that much to that point,
so he had to have been terrified.
It looked like they were actually dropping him from something.
They could have maybe done, you know,
one of those cable drops to get the drop drop part of it.
They probably dropped him a little bit.
Yeah, he was probably just laying on the ground
going like that.
I think it's probably because
he's that good an actor.
They did the Hitchcock thing where the camera goes the other
way and then they rewind it.
And there's just a guy with a cigar
going, movie magic.
Cha-ching!
On Tatooine, is this happening?
The Gooba movie magic!
It just lifts Drew Barrymore out of an aquarium and eats her.
I was just thrilled to see a movie about a literary genius where he goes to the Mall of America and watches John Woo's Broken Arrow.
And the dates that were with them were not impressed.
They were like, not into Broken Arrow at all,
which no one should be, really.
But thanks for being back on the show.
Thank you.
And let's go down the line
and see what,
if you guys brought something
for the prize bag.
God damn it.
Did you leave it backstage?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, well,
you guys go grab that.
I'll talk to James
a little bit more about...
Yeah, I'll go grab mine.
They all left them backstage.
And I'm the only one that's high.
So, James.
Yes.
Another movie people should check out
wherever they can
was another film that you directed that I adore.
And it's called Smashed.
Oh, thank you.
Another good movie, man.
Smashed.
Yeah, really good.
Killing it.
Can I tell James I stole his casting director?
Really?
We didn't meet backstage.
I directed a movie, and I used the casting director
because she casted Spectacular Now, Angela Deemo.
She's lovely.
Yeah, she's amazing.
Just because I love Spectacular Now that much.
Sorry.
She did a great job on that.
She did a fucking great job.
She might have been the first to acknowledge Bob Odenkirk
as more than just a silly character actor. Yeah. He's really good in that. She might have been the first to acknowledge Bob Odenkirk as more than just
a silly character actor.
He's really good in that.
He is.
James, have you seen...
The weird thing is, that's not even for you guys.
That's just in case he decides to get naked
and has to hold something in front of his genitalia.
So, I don't know where to start,
but I'm going to start with Dan.
You just found a potted item backstage.
I started growing that when you started touching me with your comedy.
Like this very recently.
Well, pass that down here.
That's a terrific.
I was driving through.
Feed me, Seymour.
Oh, shit!
I don't know if it's going to really be good
to put into a bag, but
there it is.
You owe Matt Besser $8
now.
Wait, Matt's the only one
taking in money from this operation?
No, he gives it to everybody else.
Tom asks, what do you got?
Yeah, I got a two-parter, okay?
Okay.
I got these earbuds.
They're just headphones.
Skull Candy makes them.
There's no reason why I have these, but I do have them, and I'm not using them,
so guess what?
It's going in the bag.
And then, what
everybody would really want,
I do a voice on this
Disney XD show called
Pin Zero Part-Time Hero, and you can
get yourself some pins and some buttons
of all the characters.
Nice.
Wear them on your...
You have to sign.
Go ahead and sign the earbud things.
Yeah, so don't take them out of the package
because they'll lose value, bro.
Trust me, man.
You want to unopen that.
Or if you do do an opening,
make sure you YouTube that
because it's very special.
All right.
Matt, what do you got for the old bag?
This was in my car.
This was in my trunk for six months.
Rich Fulcher and I did a music video for a friend of ours
named Mike Postolakis, who directed this music video
for a small punk band in Columbus, Ohio called Connections.
And it's a costume for a person
and it turns you into a heart.
It's a heart costume.
You ever had one of those on this show, Doc?
I'd like to see Nancy Wilson
wear this.
There's a piece of paper that fell to the floor.
There's a piece of paper. What is it?
Is it hard costume instructions?
Oh my God. What the fuck?
Oh, here's another one.
You also have to be a part of the
fan mail I got from some
weird people
that was stuck to the costume for some
reason. Hope your holidays. I got
a holiday card from some people
dressed up like
Breaking Bad folks.
From Scott, Marcy, and Lindsey.
Yo, we were Breaking Bad this year.
Hope your holidays are sweet.
You can have that as well.
Really?
Yo, sign the back.
Yo, sign the back.
Sign the back.
Sign the back, bitch. Sign the back. Sign the back. Sign the back, bitch.
Well, we gotta have Dan sign the potted plant.
I feel bad.
I honestly,
you know, obviously,
I don't want to throw my publicist under the bus, but...
No, they're the worst.
Whenever somebody's on the show via a publicist,
they don't get the message that there's a prize bag.
But that's cool.
Sorry, guys.
At least you're here.
That's the important thing, Dan.
Thank you.
And now somebody's going to have a potted plant
with your signature on it.
That's pretty cool with price tag, man.
That's nice.
That's fucking dope as shit. That's pretty cool with price tag, man. That's nice. That's fucking dope as shit.
That's authentic. But for real,
that's just a UCB plant.
It'll grow.
Don't downplay it.
It'll grow more than anyone expects it to.
People will line up to see it grow.
Why it's a little
wilted is little known fact.
Every improviser, before they go on stage,
breathes in its life essence.
And then we come on and take a suggestion.
Like a Skeksie would, a Gelfling.
Exactly like that.
James, do you have something for the prize bag?
I dropped the ball. You didn't bring something for the prize bag? I dropped the ball.
You didn't bring something?
I didn't.
I'm so sorry.
You didn't even get a plant for the fucking green room?
You fucking jackass.
Dude, you didn't even get a plant?
James, take off your shoes, James.
Here, sign this potted plant.
You got it.
Oh, man.
Let's start with Thomas on the other end there.
I always like to ask everybody,
have you seen any movies lately?
Like, what was the last movie that you saw?
Oh, shoot.
Oh, I saw most of Tomorrowland on an airplane.
I saw all of Tomorrowland on an airplane,
and it feels like that's the best way to see it.
I mean, no one in the film, disrespect,
but that was
ball sack shit.
You say ball sack shit?
Ball sack shit. Shit from a ball
sack, man.
But you watched most of it.
Only because I started watching
and I said, fuck this.
Did something else and then went back to it because I was just so bored.
It was no good.
What did you like about it?
That it's just a whole movie of people wondering what's going on?
Well, it was supposed to be like, guys, we're headed towards a pretty bad future, man.
We've got to clean up our environmental situation.
To me, that's a movie for me. I'm like, yeah,
dude, Sierra Club.
Boy, did they go
about that in the most ridiculous way
possible. It's really weird, but I like the
effects and the actions pretty good.
And on a plane,
I thought it was watchable.
Really? Yeah.
My standards on a plane drop
precipitously.
I'm not a big walk out of movie guy, but I think if I'd have seen that in the theaters,
I would have walked out.
I was like mad at it.
I got mad at it.
How dare you, sir?
How dare you have an eight-year-old boy build a jet pack right off the gate?
Dumb.
Just dumb.
In the 1960s, an eight-year-old boy's like,
I made an invention to Hugh Laurie
who doesn't test it.
He's just at a table like, well, does it work?
And he's like, kind of.
No.
Like, that's it?
Fuck you, you piece of shit.
They were pretty strict at the World's Fair of 1964.
The eight-year-old brought in a jet pack.
They were skeptical.
So dumb. I just... Oh. It was like the...
That shows the invention of Shark Tank.
Yeah, it's a precursor to Shark Tank, for sure.
What about you, Dan? Have you seen anything
terrific like Tomorrowland?
I watched Tomorrowland on a plane.
I really did.
You guys on the same plane? That's the most recent movie is I watched Tomorrowland. a plane. I really did. You guys on the same plane?
That's the most recent movie
as I watched Tomorrowland.
And did you like it?
I, you know,
I started watching it
because I was looking,
you know,
45 degrees over someone's shoulder
and I was like,
I suppose she's underage,
but I,
like,
I was kind of like,
She's cute, right?
Yeah, she's super cute.
But you could have watched
The Longest Ride to see her.
She's in two movies
on planes right now.
Oh, it was a dream.
It's probably...
That's probably in her bio.
And I really didn't...
Yeah, I didn't understand
the movie.
So George Clooney was living
in some strange,
like Woody Allen
dream world
where when he was eight,
he loved one girl because she was eight, but then there was another girl who was 16, but when he was eight, he loved one girl
because she was eight, but then there was another
girl who was 16, but now he's 42.
The little eight-year-old
turned out to be a robot.
She didn't age, but he did.
George Clooney in a tube with the
16-year-old girl and the eight-year-old girl.
I'm like, I don't know how to feel.
Don't worry.
The robot did learn how to feel
after a powerful monologue as it's short-circuiting.
Guess who it fell in love with?
An eight-year-old George Clooney.
Why?
Because he dared to dream.
Fuck you, Tomorrowland.
You suck.
Fucking hate you man
You blow
Everything you hated about it
I like about it
I was like
George Clooney's in a tub
With a 16 year old girl
Good for him
Yeah
You need to get in this tub with me
She's like why
He's like just get in this tub with me. She's like, why? He's like, just get in.
Oh, creepy.
Put on these handcuffs, quick.
It's the only way you're going to live.
What about you, Matt?
Have you seen anything?
An hour ago, right before I came to this,
I watched Straight Outta Compton.
It is so fucking good.
It's excellent.
I loved it.
I loved it so much.
I grew up in L.A.
I'm born and raised in L.A.
And I was telling Dan backstage the story of when I was 11 and my mom called me.
I was staying at my friend's house.
She's like, you have to come home right now.
And I was like, why?
She's like, just come home. And I came was like why she's like just come home and i
came home and the la riots had started she's like oh they're rioting i was like mom we will we live
30 miles from where those riots are taking place just scared old white lady um but it was so good
it was like honestly it felt like our childhood it was it was fucking it was so good. It was like, honestly, it felt like our childhood. It was fucking, it was so, it rode this line of being like an after school special, almost
Tyler Perry movie in a way.
No, no, really like plot points and stuff, but it was so good.
And then it had very flashy parts and gratuitous nudity.
Yes, it did.
Like parts of it were like kind of like boogie nights.
But that's what that was like back then.
The 90s were amazing.
It was a very gratuitous time.
We thought Haynes were gone, but they weren't.
Easy got it.
They were just getting started.
Oh, man.
It was great.
It was really good.
It was really good.
Yeah, it's definitely one of my favorites of lately.
The guy who played EZ should be nominated for something.
He really would.
He really should.
He's really amazing.
Yeah, he's very good.
Ended up being a very sympathetic character
who I had always had kind of negative thoughts about
because it felt like he kind of fucked up the band.
Yes.
You know, like...
But he's not as bad as you uh ever imagined that he was
between him and cube was always a thing when i was younger where you were like
why are they why do they hate each other so much they had nwa but this explains it so well yeah
yeah that he just had his cube was like are we there yet the explanation was cube cube had this Easy had this manager
named Jerry something
and the manager
played by Paul Giamatti
who plays every fucking shitty manager
from old school music
and he's so good
in this he's fucking
pig face from
pig vomit
thank you. Yeah.
From private parts.
But he...
Paul Giamatti plays Eazy-E's manager,
and Eazy, it's like he becomes his father figure,
and he trusts him through his adolescence
into adulthood,
and you understand why he trusts this guy.
He's like Eazy-E's Yoko.
Yes, and you understand it,
but you understand everybody's point of
view and why everything sucks and why everything is destroyed later it's so good yeah sorry there's
aspects to that story that i had no idea about and uh and it's it's really well done the acting
is phenomenal moving on matt Phenomenal. Moving on, Matt.
On the set of Breaking Bad,
you got to go on and on because that was Badger style,
but this is a tight fucking show.
Sorry, sorry.
Easy E, guys.
I thought the movie Easy A
was about Easy E getting AIDS,
but it is a totally different thing.
I can't believe I used my round
outing myself as a pedophile
and then he's like,
I love this new mainstream movie
that everyone loves.
Mainstream Matt is in the house.
Tomorrow.
James, did you I saw
Did you?
Yep.
So you saw it?
Tomorrowland?
Nope.
Diary of a Teenage Girl.
Which is amazing.
You liked that?
I loved it. I thought it was fantastic.
Alright, you creep.
Gay! age girl, which is amazing. You like that? I loved it. I thought it was fantastic. Alright, you creep. Gay, yay!
There's something about a 15
year old girl and a 30 something
year old man, or however old he was supposed to be,
you know, having
sex, like I couldn't get on board
with it, but I understood
that that probably happens in the world.
Man, a lot more back in the day, man. that probably happens in the world. Man, a lot
more back in the day, man. We were born in the wrong
time.
Finally, Matthew McConaughey from
Days of Confused
shows up. Hey, you go back
200 years.
Woo!
Hey, Matt, Matt, I'm sorry.
Can we, can we, can we ask Matthew McConaughey just a couple more
questions?
What about, what about
just like, like really close cousin sex?
Like, like, like incest.
Hey.
Alrighty. Hey. All right, hey.
It's awkward when I realize
I don't actually have a good Matthew McConaughey impression.
I fell into it for like a second
and then I'm like,
where am I?
No, it's good essence though.
Good essence.
It's an essence impression.
And then I just drive away to Lincoln, bro. Not because it's good essence, though. Good essence. It's an essence impression. And then I just drive away into Lincoln, bro.
Not because it's cool.
Not because they paint me.
What other reason is there, you asshole?
I'm a fan of combustion engines.
You weirdo.
Matthew, were you
Disappointed that James didn't
Cast you as David Foster Wallace
I think you'd have an interesting take on that
It was a great disappointment to me
But you know
Now I'm doing a Civil War movie
I think
I think I'm doing a Civil War movie
You think that's what it is?
I think it is
Hey man who knows The whole world is a stardust I think. I think I'm doing a civil war movie. You think that's what it is? I think it is. It might be.
Hey man, who knows?
The whole world
is a stardust.
Did you...
There he is.
Did you see the new...
Did you see
True Detective Season 2?
Did you watch that?
I know you get a
producer credit.
See that he
executive produced it.
Yeah.
Executive producers
are always there
the whole time.
Yeah.
Sadly, yes I have. I have seen it. Didn't work out good. Sadly, yes, I have.
I have seen it.
Didn't work out good for you?
Well, I've always said that one of the most intriguing crime dramas is based around real estate with rich criminals.
And I've always said that every character and everything I produce
has to have the most fucked up backstory
you could ever imagine.
Every single character.
I want...
I was so happy when...
I don't know why we're taking this meeting
with Matthew McConaughey.
Are you kidding me?
Because we're in a gold mine.
Let him finish.
So happy when Rachel McAdams' character
had a fucking hippie dad and a porn star sister.
Man, that was great.
My favorite part, though, is when Vince Vaughn
had a monologue out of fucking nowhere
about how he fucking broke a rat by the tail
by swinging it into his bag of bones.
And the water stays in the ceiling.
There were two of them
because they had to match dissolve
to the eye sockets of the victim.
Yes.
We're both happy about the same things.
Love season two.
I stopped watching it midway
because I loved it so much.
So proud of it.
Just kidding.
I love HBO.
Everything HBO does
is the fucking best.
Not a stain on the record.
Oh, boy.
All right.
If there were stains, there'd have to be two of them
if you're going to match dissolve to the highest.
Now it's the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin!
Let the games begin!
Gentlemen, some audience members have fashioned some name tags,
some very special, some very
last minute
bullshit.
But there's some good ones. Sometimes snacks
are involved. So just
physically get up and go pick the
name tag that you'd like to play for tonight.
The person that you
play for, if you win, will win all the
prizes in this bag.
And this heart suit.
We get up and we pick. Yeah, just go take the one
that you like and bring it back to your seat.
And while you guys do that,
we'll do this. We'll be right back after this commercial
message. Taco Bell!
Make a run for the border!
Alright, we're back
and Thomas is playing
for JJ who has a Yoda doll.
Mr. Abrams.
And I don't think that's actually JJ Abrams.
This is JJ Abrams, dude.
Oh, what is it?
Dude, he came to your show.
There's no way.
JJ, what's up?
JJ, how you doing?
JJ, have you been in hiding for a while?
Yes.
Is it a hermit version of JJ?
Big fan of yours.
And then you
have an envelope with the shithead inside?
Is that what's going on there?
Okay, so...
Do I open it? No, God no.
Save that for the end.
Because if you lose, then whatever shithead
that they've got written down, I have to say that
at the end of the show as a consolation prize.
But good job picking a
Yoda that says JJ on it.
It doesn't say.
It doesn't? It says,
pick Jake, you will.
That's Jake. Oh, Jake. Your name's Jake.
That's also my brother's name,
dude.
Nice try.
Dan, did you pick Dan Hatton,
the soundtrack from the movie Manhattan,
changed to Dan Hatton,
because your name is Dan?
Oh, God.
Oh.
Oh.
Yes.
Excellent choice.
Excellent job, Dan Hatton.
There's a post-it note on the back.
Don't get into it.
That's the thing at the end.
That's what I was just saying.
Well, I wasn't listening to that.
Sometimes people don't write it on the back.
Who are you playing for, Matt?
I'm playing for Hank Glasner, who did the Shaw-Hank Redemption.
Oh, there you go.
Well done.
It's my favorite movie, and my dog, who's my best friend, is named Hank Williams.
Hank Williams is my dog.
He's my best friend.
Are you married?
I am.
My wife is eight months pregnant.
My wife. My wife. eight months pregnant. My wife.
My wife.
That's why I'm here, trying to have a good time.
Oh, Jesus.
Just let me do this.
Okay, just, hey, Hank, we're going to win.
All right.
I like your attitude.
And James picked a giant flesh-colored fist that says Wreck-It Mike.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you a big fan of Wreck-It Ralph?
I'm a decent fan.
Decent fan?
Yeah.
No reason to go crazy about it.
And what do you think this was before he wrote Wreck-It Mike on the side of it?
Like, what's it supposed to be?
Like, if
the Hulk was a little less
angry?
Why is it just a big
flesh-colored fist? It's the real-life
Hulk of white privilege.
Whoa.
I saw Wreck-It Ralph in a matinee
and I shushed a kid for having fun.
Shut up!
King Candy's talking!
Yeah, and I was by myself.
I was on an airplane,
and I saw Wreck-It Ralph,
and I legitimately cried.
My man.
I really did.
It made me cry.
It's fun to cry, dude.
I'm not ashamed.
It's fun to cry, dude. I'm not ashamed.
I went to a... Oh, boy. Dan, give it a break!
Jesus, man!
I just...
He was sick in just a second,
so just let me quickly say it.
I did...
I did Nicki Minaj song.
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.
I went to see Mortal Kombat with my friend Rob,
and we were going to see him to children,
and we were like 20-something, and there's Mortal Kombat,
and then the bad guy said, and now a taste of things to come,
and my friend Rob went, pfft.
And the kids, like, who all their parents had,
it was just us and the 3,000 kids, and they were just all like, wah! And then for the rest of the movie, they were like, pfft, pff parents, it was just us and 3,000 kids,
and they just were all like, ah!
And then for the rest of the movie, they were like,
and it was, and that moment, if I could do this,
if I could somewhat turn this into money,
if I could just be a senator or something.
That noise makes everything better,
unless you're classy or a lady.
Then it's not so hilarious every time.
But I love it.
Let's start with our first game, you guys.
Have your microphones ready because you're going to have to yell out the answer as soon as you know it in this game.
And it's a little something we like to call doing lines with Mark.
UCB!
Get the fuck up!
Get the fuck up!
Oh,
what the fuck?
What's up y'all?
How you fucking doing?
Oh my God.
What the fuck?
Mark Wahlberg.
Mark Wahlberg.
Mark Wahlberg decides to come by.
Sit down,
sit down.
Whoa.
Yeah,
I can't believe that we get him time after time.
What the fuck?
How does he have time after doing executive producing so many shows?
Yeah, it's crazy.
You can just ask him.
He's right there.
Oh, shit.
It really is Mark Wahlberg.
What's up, Tommy?
How you doing, dude?
Hey, man.
HBO called.
You're fired.
Oh, I love it.
Hey, man, you remember me?
Fuck yeah, dude.
From the other guys, you remember me, man?
You fucking were in that for a minute, and I tried to have you fired, but you stuck around. Thank you, dude. I love it. Hey, man, do you remember me? Fuck yeah, dude. From the other guys, do you remember me, man? You're fucking wearing that for a minute, and I tried to have you fired, but you stuck around.
Thank you, dude.
I appreciate that.
Loved it.
How you doing, Doug?
I'm doing all right, Mark.
Thanks for...
Sit down, guys.
Seriously, sit down.
Everyone was sitting.
Don't...
Just...
Mark's got his own version of everything so uh
mark is gonna say a line from a probably a classic motion picture i don't know i don't
i don't get involved with this but first person on on the panel who can name the movie that he's
doing a line from wins this game.
And we literally shout it out.
Just shout it out into your microphone as soon as you think you know it.
And he goes through.
Whoa, Mark, are your jeans too tight?
What's that?
You're kind of gross.
Listen to me, Tommy.
When you're built like I am, your jeans are always too fucking tight.
King of Hollywood, baby. I can't believe it.
You fucking know it, dude.
Isn't it great? You know what I'm here
speaking on fucking HBO? I'm here for one reason.
Two words. Ballers.
Season finale, motherfuckers.
Better check that shit out.
That show is just
entourage.
It's entourage, but with football players
and no Ari Gold.
And also, we got rid of the Piven and added balls.
Also, it's Entourage and less things happen.
Yeah.
Less stuff.
No, fucking less stuff.
There's flashbacks.
It's fucking deets, dude.
Okay, so he's going to say a line from a movie, and you guys just jump in and say it when you know it.
Look good, feel good.
Is that the line?
Look good.
No, no.
No, no, he says that before he does it.
He says a thing from Boogie Nights
before saying a thing from some other movie.
Jesus.
Boogie Nights. Boogie Nights, Boogie Nights, Boogie Nights, Boogie Nights before saying a thing from some other movie. Jesus. Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
I know you don't smoke weed.
Okay?
I know this.
But I'm going to get you high.
Because it's Friday.
Trini Day.
No, no, no.
Friday.
Friday.
It is fucking Friday.
Tommy's Friday.
It is Friday.
You fucking know it, dude.
You fucking know that shit.
I like pigs feet.
Right? You got knocked the fuck out!
Yeah, baby.
Friday, loved it.
It's so fucking good.
Mark Wahlberg, ladies and gentlemen.
Thanks for coming by, buddy.
Donnie went to Austin
and he started his own fucking rickshaw business.
He's outside. If people need a fucking ride
within half a mile, he'll do it.
Wait, it's within half a mile?
I told Donnie,
know your limits.
Touché, sir.
Thank you, Mark Wahlberg, everybody.
Woo!
Holy smokes.
A-list show here.
It's crazy.
I know.
First, you guys are all out here.
It's a great lineup.
And then fucking Mark Wahlberg.
Hey, let's go.
I think he forgot to take his laugh off.
Yeah, that mic was...
We may be hearing him, you know,
as far as Jersey today.
He's always hanging around.
He loves the show.
I don't know what to do about it.
I didn't know he was in Friday.
I thought that was an urban movie.
No, it's not movies that he's in.
It's just movies.
Just movies he likes.
It doesn't have to be a Mark Wahlberg movie.
Oh, wait, what the fuck?
He's just a celebrity guest, man,
that does launch from movies.
Not that I would have gotten that round,
but fuck you guys.
All right.
I'm very surprised I got it.
It's one of the few movies I've seen.
I was like, I've got to watch Friday again.
I was like, was he a pizza guy?
Yeah, they show that scene where in Straight Outta Compton where they're both like, I've got to watch Friday again. I'm like, was he a pizza guy? Yeah, they show that scene where in Straight Outta Compton
where they're both like, damn!
Both directed by F. Cary Gray.
Let me tell you how much of my love Straight Outta Compton.
So good.
All right, well, in this next game,
since you like Snoop so much,
is going to be right up your alley
because it's called
ABCD's nuts since he won that last game Thomas Middleditch gets to go first but
then we'll move down the line this way so Daniel be second then Matt then James
and it's a spelling game. And in honor of
the end of the tour, the words we're
going to spell tonight are broken arrow.
And
basically
we're going to start with Thomas. Just say
any movie that begins with the letter B.
Any movie at all.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
And if it's the same movie
I wrote down ahead of time
then you win the game uh automatically oh wow uh can i ask you a question real quick sure
does the word the count in the thing i'm sorry when you said can i ask your question real quick
that's the one i was referring to uh wait what was the question the word the does yeah fucking
throw the out unless it's the letter T,
which does not occur in Broken Arrow.
Great.
Then you can't use a movie that begins with the.
But it still leaves you plenty of options
with every letter in the alphabet.
All right.
Y and Z are the toughest letters,
and they are also not in Broken Arrow.
Wait, I...
What?
You have to name a movie that starts with a little R.
Double R's though.
Hey, so double R's, one R,
and then you've got to come up straight up,
another R movie.
Right, but it'll move down the row,
so each of you will only be responsible for one.
Do I then do an R movie?
Yes.
If he succeeds in getting a B movie.
I've got one.
Okay.
What do you got?
The movie that we all realize Will Smith was a movie star.
Bad Boys.
Oh, okay. That's an excellent choice.
Damn it. Not the one, though.
I went with Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
because it was shot in Phoenix
where I'll be performing this Thursday night.
I'll be at Stand Up Live
Thursday night, August 20.
Alright, so R is the letter for you, Dan. Real
life.
Albert Brooks?
Yeah. Okay, great. Classic
movie. Did I do that wrong?
No. You're trying to guess
you didn't do it wrong. No, you didn't do it wrong at all.
He's got some written down
that we're trying to mindfuck. I wrote down Revenge of the
Nerds
because it was filmed in Arizona
and I'll be in Phoenix this Thursday.
Moving on to Matt, your letter is O.
Greatest movie of all time, Overboard.
Oh.
First of all, I'm going to dock you
a point for saying that.
Greatest movie of all time.
It's in my top ten.
Have you seen Summer Rental?
If we're talking Gary Marshall classics.
Or no, wait.
Yeah, Overboard was Gary Marshall, right?
No, I don't think so.
He didn't direct that?
I think he did.
Don't look at your phone now.
I'm not looking at my phone.
During a game.
Overboard.
I went with OC at my phone. During a game. Overborn.
I went with O.C. and Stiggs.
The Robert Altman film that was filmed in Phoenix,
where I will be this Thursday night.
K is your letter, James.
The king and I.
Okay, what did we say about the words,
the ones that begin with the?
You can't do them.
I'll give you one more.
I'm going to give you one more. Oh, give you one more kingfish kingfish question mark kingfish question mark that was probably a movie
sounds like a movie bro and i'll and also like so close to matching me, because I went with Kingsman, the Secret Service.
Yeah, because there's a city in Arizona called Kingman,
and I'm going to be in Phoenix on Thursday night.
E is your letter, Thomas.
I know, but...
Come on, the letter E, so many.
I know, I know, but I'm trying to get where you're going.
Oh, I see. All I'm trying to get where you're going. Oh, I see.
All I can think of is Encino Man.
That's literally all I can think of.
Obviously filmed in Arizona.
Was it?
No.
Damn it.
I went with Everything Must Go, which was filmed in Phoenix.
End, Dan.
Nocturnal differences.
Nocturnal differences. Nocturnal differences?
So like about a couple who takes Ambien and then punches each other
in their sleep? No, no, it's a
human guy dating a lady vampire.
Nathan Lane's day out.
Norbert! Norbert!
Norbert.
The first two were practice rounds.
Norbert! Norbert!
Norbert.
Norbert's a great guess.
I wouldn't put it past myself to pick that,
but I went with Near Dark
because it was filmed in Arizona.
A is your next letter.
Another Day to Die.
Terrible movie.
James Bond?
Yeah, bad.
Another Day to Die?
Die Another Day.
Okay, I'm going to start over.
Yeah, yeah.
Always.
You're talking about the companion.
Always about the guy who
flied planes and died.
Right.
Steven Spielberg.
I went with
Away We Go. Partially filmed
in Phoenix.
R. James.
Rent.
Have you seen where I've been
going with this?
Raising Arizona.
Raising Arizona would be the right answer
if you hadn't said rent.
Another R.
Different R.
Has Raising Arizona
officially been said?
It's been said
and he blew it
with his rent bullshit.
Just anything to begin with R. Do they at one point drive through Arizona
in the movie Rain Man?
They might. I don't think so.
They go out to Palm Springs in that movie.
But that's so... I mean, that's on the...
That's not on the way, but
it's hotter there.
No. That was an excellent guess
and I appreciate you
following the theme.
But in this case, I went with
Roadhouse 2.
Jonathan Skage. Because
I'm going to be mocking it with Master Pancake
this Sunday in Richardson, Texas.
O
is the next letter, Dan.
On Golden
Pond! Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, Go on, Golden Pod!
20 Oscars.
Posthumous.
I just went with O.
For no particular reason other than it's just fun that there's a movie called just O. Hey, you're being a real dick at the end here.
You set us up and you leave us a string.
There's only so many Arizona movies.
W is the final letter.
Waiting to exhale.
That is the correct time.
Yes!
Should have been out. Should have been out
Should have been out
Already lost
With his incorrect guess
Waiting to exhale
Which took place of course in Phoenix
Yes
Cause she set his car on fire
Actually yeah
Yeah
Which you can't do in other places
You can't
It's very
It's very
It's very pho, it's very phonician behavior.
To be true,
she did do it with like a magnifying glass.
She needed the intense sun.
LOL.
That's how she got her groove back.
Right.
Well, that was super fun.
Well, if you have to say so.
I have to.
But that means that Matt gets to
go first in our next game.
And then we'll
switch the order around. We'll go to
James
and then to Thomas and Dan.
finishing us off. Why are you so somber right now?
And then we
will. We're about to play a very serious game.
I'll drink the Kool-Aid that I have backstage
and commit a mass suicide here at the UCB Franklin.
I think some edibles just kicked in.
That's why my personality changed.
We're going to play a game called Last Man Stanton.
It's a very intense game that I will play along if I come in first.
Whoever comes in second will be the winner.
Jordan, who was first in line tonight?
Was it you?
Which young lady?
That young lady right there with the Comedy Attic t-shirt?
Does that mean you're from Bloomington, Indiana?
Awesome.
And you bought their shirt and then you cut it up and made it fancy.
Made it more like a blouse.
Made it so that we could see your tattoo on your arm.
Yeah.
So do you ever listen to the show and think you have a good suggestion for Last Man Stanton that we haven't used?
Does it drive you crazy?
Well, something just came to mind.
Oh, it just came to mind.
Hang on to it.
We're going to explain the game to these guys.
She's going to tell us the name of an actor or actress,
hopefully one with a lot of credits.
And starting with Matt and going this way and around,
we're just going to take turns naming movies
that that person was in. If you can't think of one,
you're out.
There's no fucking around this round.
No second guesses.
No second chances. First thing
out of your mouth.
She's going to tell us a name
right now.
It's intense, right?
Drew Barrymore. I love it all right so we'll
start with Matt I'll start with and just start banging out Drew Barrymore all
right guys all right guys let's bang her. I'll start with E.T.
Okay, we're going to need the full title on that.
Extraterrestrial.
Okay.
I'll take it.
It's actually National Lampoon's E.T., the Extraterrestrial.
Alright, James.
Firestarter.
Oh, that's the one I was going to say.
I guess I'm out.
No, I'll go with...
How about Cat's Eye?
Yeah.
Anthology film on Stephen King works
that she was in one of them.
Oh, God. Okay.
Well, that was really scary for a second.
I couldn't think of a thing.
But I think, isn't she in the beginning of Screen?
Yeah, she is.
Thank God.
Yeah, you gotta get your...
You could see some stuff behind that white T-shirt, I remember.
That's partially why.
It was so hard
to catch her naked
at that point
in her career.
You had to like,
oh, I see
there's something
under that shirt.
Oh, somebody's
run away from
that slash.
Ain't got no bra.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's her name,
though?
That other actress,
she's got like
her high beams on
when she gets killed.
Rose McGowan. Rose McGowan.
Rose McGowan.
Spoiler.
Dan.
Home Friends.
Written by Vince Gilligan.
Oh, that's true.
The Breaking Bad dude wrote that.
Vince Gilligan wrote Home Friends.
Two points.
Yeah.
So you really screwed over Matt by saying that.
I'm going to go with Charlie's Angels.
Oh, okay.
What about you, James?
Wedding Singer.
The Wedding Singer.
Okay.
I'll just go ahead and take it since it's the low-hanging fruit.
Charlie's Angels Full Throttle.
Okay.
Spanglish. Ooh. A.K.A. The. Spanglish.
A.K.A. The Wedding Singer 2.
I know, right?
There's somebody in the audience who's questioning it.
I don't think she's in that.
She's not? Fuck this game.
Fuck you.
You guys all suck, man.
She's not in it.
Who's the girl in that?
You'll find out soon enough.
Pamela Anderson.
I knew it. I was so wrong.
Damn it.
Never been kissed.
Yes. That's one of my
hate myself for liking it movies.
I go deep and I come back with pearls.
The true...
What?
Is that a line from it or is that just a strange thing you said?
That's my character.
Oh, man.
The true wedding singer part two is 51st Dates.
Yes, it is.
That's right.
51st Dates. Yes, it is. That's right. 50 First Dates. Whatever, man.
The story of a woman
who will only have sex with a man
if he gives her
50 dates.
She will not take figs.
She will not take prunes.
It's gotta be dates!
It's a character
that passes 150th of the Bechdel test.
At least the audience didn't pass the Bechdel test.
Alright, James.
Grey Gardens.
Grey Gardens. That's
interesting. If I didn't like you
so much, I'd throw you out for saying an HBO
movie.
But it's still a movie, I guess.
It's a movie.
It's over 90 minutes.
It's a movie, bro.
I like to say if it's over
75 minutes, it's a movie because my
most recent movie is 78 minutes long.
Very nice.
Wait. He's out. He blew it with that whole thing. recent movie is 78 minutes long. Very nice. Wait, what?
He's out.
He blew it with that whole thing.
Oh, I gotta say one.
I gotta say one,
so I'm gonna go with
he's just not that into you.
I knew there was one of those.
Charlie's Angels 3. there had to be one
no
no
I mean it's
I pray every night
when I go to bed
well then what good is she
just to keep
Crispin Glover working
but
it doesn't come together
Matt
Boys on the Side
oh exactly where I like them.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
James?
Riding in cars with boys.
Oh, there's a theme going on.
Oh, my God.
With boys.
Oh, whip it. Whip boys. Oh, whip it.
Yeah, fucking whip it.
Back to you, Matt.
Ever after.
Yes.
Nicely done.
James, you out?
I'm out.
Peace.
Peace.
All right, I'm going to say Fever Pitch.
Crazy in Love.
Her and Chris O'Donnell,
she shows her tits, couldn't stop watching it.
Do we agree with that?
Crazy in Love?
It's called mad love.
It's called mad love.
Shut her boobs.
You're out.
You're out.
I say irreconcilable differences, and I win.
Mad love was.
But the person Matt was playing for wins the prize bag.
Let's give it up.
Where's Shaw Hank at?
Come get your stuff, Shaw Hank.
Congratulations, dude.
There you go.
You get that.
And then the costume, you're all set for Halloween.
Valentine's Day as well.
You should probably propose marriage to someone in that
In that
Outfit or do
Blended
Going the distance
I couldn't think of
I was trying to think of going the distance
I just kept thinking long distance romance
Justin Long movie
Cross country love.
Going the distance.
But yeah, the audience will tell us more.
Donnie Darko.
Donnie Darko.
Music and lyrics.
I like that movie.
That's my favorite Hugh Grant movie.
Wayne's World.
Oh yeah.
Wayne's World.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Wayne's World 2, Wayne's World Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Wayne's World 2
not 1
Batman Forever
that was a good
do you have a
I mean
surely there are people who
I mean
that was a good
name for that game
it was a really good name
thank you for coming
all the way
from Indiana
to drop that knowledge
you really hooked us up.
I appreciate it.
All right, so pass me the name tags
so I can say the shitheads at the end
for the folks that didn't win.
Pass me that Dan Hatton thing.
And Thomas Middleditch,
the final girls,
comes out...
I think it's coming out
early October.
It's a horror comedy.
People get sucked into
like a Jason-like slasher movie
and
bosarity
and a heartfelt tenderness
ensues.
Yeah, I saw it at
South by Southwest
and enjoyed it very much.
Yeah, it's super fun.
It's a
it's a fun movie that kind of catches you off guard I think at the end with it's super fun. It's a fun movie
that kind of catches you off guard,
I think, at the end
with it's sort of,
it's got a little bit of heart
in there, too.
It's called Girls?
I wish.
Yes, it's called,
it stars Lena Dunham.
What's it called?
It's called The Final Girls.
The Final Girls.
Because, you know,
in horror movies,
there's typically
The Final Girl,
except for in
Final Destination 4 or something,
it was a man.
Good God, what have they done?
But yeah, there's a final girl who makes it to the end,
and that's usually, they're called the final girl.
And she goes and like, I don't understand.
Just watch the movie.
Yeah, I'll watch it.
Yeah, check it out, Dan.
Rick and Morty season two in progress.
Anything else you want to plug?
No, I don't think so.
Okay.
Why are you looking at me?
What about that thing?
I guess just Silicon Valley.
We have that drawing that we were working on.
We're doing a drawing together.
We're doing a drawing.
It's on an 8x10.
It is pencil.
I guess just
It'll be fine.
The drawing, right?
Okay, so check out our drawing.
The drawing.
I think it's coming like 2017,
but do check it out.
It's on Venice Beach
and it's
It's probably
Actually, to tell you the truth,
my therapist tells me
to not be self-defeating,
but it's probably washed away by now.
Oh, yeah.
We did leave it on the beach.
It's in chalk.
You'll love it.
You're going to love it.
It used to be about robots,
but now who knows?
The sea has its way with it,
and who knows?
That goes on the floor.
Good job.
I just put the name tags on the floor
because if they want them back,
they could just walk up and get them.
But they are also trash.
Yeah.
Here. It is garbage.
Oh, Yoda, no! Was that a
$4,000 toy?
Dude, I got that from George Lucas'
house.
Throw me, you dude.
I'm sorry
if that was insulting.
Matt, what's going on, man?
We just started shooting season three of Mom on CBS.
Oh, that's right.
You're on that program.
Yes, I'm on that show.
We are on Thursday nights after Big Bang Theory,
somewhere around then.
Oh, no one's going to watch it then in that time slot.
Only like 12 million.
All right. All right.
All right.
Okay.
I'm on Sanjay and Craig on Nickelodeon.
Pick up Banana Cricket on Nickelodeon.
And I directed a movie that is going to be premiering at the Austin Film Festival.
They're announcing it tomorrow,
and I can say it here and now.
That's in September.
Yeah.
What's the movie called?
It's called The Night is Young.
I directed it,
and it's going to premiere
right around Halloween, actually.
Yeah.
What's the tagline for that movie?
Racism just got a new validation.
So don't go see it.
That's it.
It's a hard-hitting racism.
For a second, I thought you were going to
say racism got a new valedictorian.
Nope.
Nope.
Not in his fucked up world.
Racism just got free parking.
What about you, James?
The end of the tour...
Is in theaters now.
I saw it.
It's a really, really engaging, interesting movie,
and it's spreading all over the country.
And do go check it out.
Do you have your next project lined up?
I do.
I'm shooting a movie in a month.
Where are you going to do that at?
Here in Los Angeles.
And what's it going to be about?
It's called The Circle.
It's based on the novel by Dave Eggers.
It's doing with Emma Watson and Tom Hanks.
So now you're going to be a fancy literary guy.
Big deal.
Whatever.
Count down to your suicide.
Sorry. Did I say that out loud?
End into a microphone.
What's your...
What's Emma Watson's accent in it?
General American.
Straight up American?
Straight up American.
All right.
Like 1930s.
Like, hey, mister, what are you doing here?
For no reason. She's going to Hudsucker proxy
that shit.
Totally modern movie, but she's walking around.
Emma Watson here. Hey, it's me, Emma Watson.
Just say your character
name and you can do that. No way.
I'm Emma Watson, see?
Now let's tail
this fella and get to the bottom of this case.
Seems like we're going in circles The circle to be precise
Welcome to the circle
Does anybody ever say that?
Not yet
Is it a pot smoking circle?
Could I be in it?
Yes
Okay perfect
I'm excited
Thank you to all of my guests,
Thomas Middleditch,
Dan Harmon,
Matt Jones,
and James Ponsel.
I'll be in Phoenix on Thursday.
Enough about that already.
Dallas on Saturday,
DouglasMovies.com.
And as always,
Douglas Movies fan,
Eric LaMora
is a shithead.
Yeah.
Police unions
protecting murderers
are shitheads.
Fuck the police.
God.
I gotta say,
when they sing
Fuck the Police
in the movie,
I've never been more teary-eyed
at a song called
Fuck the Police.
It's just so weird
because you have a movie
that you directed
that promotes racism,
but you're like
so all about
this straight out of Compton.
I'm the valedictorian of racism.
And having to leave a screening of Real Genius
five minutes into the movie
because you're about to throw up
is, of course, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!