Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Ari Shaffir, Jonah Ray, and Ken Reid Guest
Episode Date: January 20, 2015Doug welcomes comics T.J. Miller, Ari Shaffir, Jonah Ray, and Ken Reid to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#d...o-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers,
screaming babies,
50 seats with 50 as in
not more kernels in his teeth.
There's still not more that he won't see,
but Doug loves movies.
I was backstage laughing,
having a nice time with the guests, and then I heard the clapping.
I was like, what could they possibly be clapping to?
Doesn't sound like that could be a song.
Hey, everybody.
My name's Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Now we're all back on track.
Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles in the year 2015 on January 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
The State of the Union address is happening right now on television.
So that's kind of weird of me
to think that I could just do a show
and, you know,
pack the place anyway.
But I don't know whether
to be proud of you guys
for showing up
or sad about our future.
I'm happy that you're here
and we can all see
any amount of it later.
You know,
who's DVRing the
president's state of the union?
Baseball Jordan is
the only liar I could see.
You really taping it?
Oh, that's sweet.
All right.
I hope you get around to watching it.
You know, you got a lot of sports on there.
And you might, you know, you'll be like, well, I got to delete something.
St. Louis, my stand-up show this Friday sold out.
So we added a Doug Loves Movies taping at the Firebird on Saturday, January 24th at 420 Los Angeles.
That's you guys.
Douglas Movies is
happening this Sunday,
January 25th at 420
at the Nerd Melt showroom
at Meltdown Comics. And it's going to
be a Tournament of Championships
episode. Schedules
permitting.
Should be a good one.
We're competing for a spot
in the Super Tournament, which will
lead to a spot in the Super
Duper Tournament
of championships.
I know I'm saying it wrong. San Francisco!
I'm interrupting the last
two Twilight, fingers crossed,
last two Twilight movies
on February 7th and 8th at the castro
theater as part of sf sketch fest uh we got different phenomenal guests each day co-interrupt
you with me douglovesmovies.com for all my dates deets and uh info and links and whatnot. And now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At the Nerpler,
Nerpler,
tweeted,
the sixth sense is a movie about a kid
with great death perception.
This has been Tweet Relief,
puns about old movies edition.
There's lots of things from both myself
and one of the panelists was on At Midnight recently.
So there's At Midnight stuff in the prize bag
that you've heard about before.
The T-shirt, the Bananagrams, the Delush's cookies.
And then there's lots of other fun stuff in the bag.
And one guest that might not be here yet
because traffic in LA sucks is
I'm paraphrasing the text that I got from him please welcome Ken Reed Ari
Shafir Jonah Ray and TJ Miller Look who's taking the power seat
And has a big stack of CDs.
Ironic CDs.
It's TJ Miller, everybody.
Hi, guys.
I wore my best Arsenio Hall robe.
Meaning you have more than one?
Yeah, this is my best one.
It still has mustard on it, but it's...
Did it come that way?
With the mustard?
Yeah, it comes with the mustard and hot sauce.
That's a hot mustard.
Oh, yeah. That's like Johnny inviting you mustard? Yeah, it comes with the mustard and hot sauce. That's a hot mustard. That's like a johnny.
It's like johnny inviting you over.
This one's going to run right on schedule.
All of my plans are going to
see reality during the next
probably hour or so.
Let's get the apologies to
Put Your Hands Together out of the way.
They're not even here to hear it, so I'll say it again later.
TJ, how do you want to get rid of that stack of CDs?
It is a stack of CDs.
This is a medium of digital media that used to exist.
You used to be able to put this into a machine.
Do I put it on my Urban Outfitters record player?
That's exactly right.
They're coasters.
They're interactive coasters.
Joda Ray is here, you guys.
And apparently we've just given up on trying to figure out how to get rid of those CDs.
He just put them on the floor behind us.
We'll give them away during the...
I don't see them anymore.
Yeah, they're gone.
Sorry, audience.
I thought I was going to get a few of you an item.
Jonah Radio
is the podcast
that Jonah has, Jonah Ray has.
And what else is going on, buddy?
I started
a record label.
What?
No way.
It's called Literally Figurative Records.
And I just put out the vinyl version of Nick Youssef's album, Stop Not Owning This, which
is a great album that I think people should get.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
That's cool.
What an amazing...
John Ray should do that.
Let me ask you this.
Are you in two movies that were nominated for Academy Awards this week?
I was not. Oh, I wish someone on the panel was, because I'd Academy Awards this week? I was not.
Oh, I wish someone on the panel was, because I'd jump in with that if I were them.
Sorry.
Ari Shafir is here, everybody.
I was not.
Must be a teacher, a public teacher.
You've got a million things to plug, right, buddy?
Yeah.
Well, I have my storyteller show coming out.
Tell us about it, stud.
Thursday nights, every Thursday night,
after Comedy Central.
No, wait.
After Comedy Central.
After Comedy Central, Stud.
When the infomercials are about to start,
Comedy Central signs off with the National Anthem.
They said it's a good time slot
because you get the early risers, too.
It's like Nick at Night in Nickelodeon.
Yeah, yeah.
Snick.
After at Midnight. It's after at Mid night in Nickelodeon Yeah Snick After at midnight It's after at midnight every Thursday night
Did you bring something for the prize bag?
Yeah, I brought a tour shirt
What's it say on there?
I brought a Douglas Movies shirt
So you're going to have at least three shirts
Maybe more
It's a Dew Mushrooms tour
You'll get drunk tonight and be three shirts to the wind
But wait, it comes with 3D glasses Because it's a 3D shirt A what? Yeah, for real from the Dew Mushrooms store. You get drunk tonight and be three shirts to the wind?
But wait, it comes with 3D glasses because it's a 3D shirt.
A what?
Yeah, for real.
So when you wear that shirt,
you have to walk around
with the glasses to give to people?
Yeah.
Put this on.
Hey, look at my tits.
Here you go.
I noticed you were looking at my shirt.
I wasn't.
They're going to jump right out at you.
No touching.
But isn't a shirt already 3D?
With me, it is.
With my tits, yeah.
Oh, in your face, Jonah.
Make fun of myself before you care.
Lined him up.
He did it himself.
I mean, I like that it's a cool shirt,
but if someone's like, cool shirt, man,
you pull out the glasses and you're like,
wait till you see this.
Now I have a headache.
I can't fucking believe your eyes.
Can I clip the glasses?
No.
I'm going to need those back. Yeah. I'm going to need those back.
Yeah, I'm going to need those back.
Ken Reed is here, everybody.
Boston comedian visiting the coast.
I am.
Very funny.
Getting into some nice weather out here.
Yeah, I left snow.
Really enjoying it, yeah.
And what's this you brought?
What's this shirt?
A shirt from the Riot LA Comedy Festival that I was in last week.
You were here for that. Yep. And then I brought a shirt from the Riot LA Comedy Festival that I was in last week. You were here for that.
Yep.
And then I brought a stack of old issues of TV Guide.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's not fucking around with this.
There's a whole bunch of them.
I like that.
What was on Right Now in one of those?
There's like a lot of them.
There's a whole bunch.
Pick one at random.
Those are old TV Guides?
Yeah.
Oh, that's cool.
I do a podcast called TV Guidance Council where people go through old TV guides and we talk about it.
Yeah, so that was...
I shipped those out here to record and I don't want to ship them back.
So are those just promotional items for your podcast?
I'll say they are now.
And he's got a button that says TV Guidance Counselor.
And the issue that I picked, what am I supposed to quiz you on?
Oh, anything you want.
Okay, which one is it?
I'm guessing it's May 12, 1986.
Oh, so it doesn't even say the year.
This is a cocky magazine.
Who's on the cover?
It must be pre-1980.
It says January 19 to 25.
It's just real cagey about the year. Must be pre-1980. It says January 19 to 25.
It's just real cagey about the year.
And it's got Ronald Reagan on the cover.
Well, there's your answer.
And it's the inauguration and Super Bowl edition.
So close.
Excitement trickles down.
It's a Reagan joke.
It's a Ronald Reagan joke. Right under Reagan taking some sort of oath,
It's a Ronald Reagan joke.
Right under Reagan taking some sort of oath,
it says, Lyle Alzado's survival guide to the big game.
Yeah.
Two more steroids. A magazine could not be more American.
And TV, Ronald Reagan, and football all on the same cover.
Two head injuries.
It's even red, white, and blue.
And apparently it's been pissed on by homeless people.
So there you go.
Much like America.
A bunch of those are in the bag.
Because of Reagan.
Do you think Lyle Alzado would have any inkling that he would
go on to be the guidance
counselor in Saved by the Bell
the college years?
I didn't know that he did that.
After The Destroyer, I think it made sense.
Rent The Destroyer, everybody, it made sense. Yeah. Yeah.
Rent The Destroyer, everybody, on Netflix.
It's Lyle L. Zayn's finest and only role.
Do you think Bob Uecker, when he was throwing out pitches,
thought he was going to be a Mr. Belvedere?
I think so.
I think he was asking his agents to pitch it.
He goes, are they putting out casting calls
for unlikable pigeon-chested pricks anywhere?
Because that's me.
Every time he would throw a strike,
he'd be like, Stringer's out of the channel.
Very funny, TJ. Now jump in constantly.
You've been so docile. I love it.
I just want to talk about
that you're in two of the movies
nominated for Best Animated Feature
at the Oscars.
Big Hero 6.
And How to Train Your Dragon 2. Big Hero 6. Very crazy. And they're also both very good movies.
And How to Train Your Dragon 2.
They both have numbers in them.
They all have numbers.
They're difficult to remember.
They're both, you know, they make the series stronger and better, I think.
I liked Dragon 2 better than Dragon 1, and I didn't even fucking bother with Big Hero 1 through 5.
I waited.
I waited until I learned that you were a character.
I live for the sound of your voice
coming out of things.
The Mucinex commercials make me so happy.
I just immediately
look at porn after I see them.
Because I'm in such a good mood.
Was Big Hero 6 a reference to Leonard 6?
I was thinking that as well.
It's all in the same Marvel universe. Was Big Hero 6 a reference to Leonard Six? I was thinking that as well. No, no. Come on. Don't do that.
It's all in the same Marvel universe.
Well, Cosby was in the Ultimates.
Yeah, he was the ultimate ultimate.
Yeah, I mean, you know, Big Hero 6 is really amazing.
It was weird.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 won the Golden Globe.
And I was at the Golden Globes and I was talking to the disney people and then they won and so i was crazy to go from people you know you're talking
to over to another table to be like we did it we won and the other table's like fuck but it's but
it's also what people don't realize is they go is it interesting to go to the golden globes is it
fun and or to go to the emmys when Is it fun? Or to go to the Emmys?
When you go, nobody thinks about this.
It's a night that as it progresses, the room becomes more and more filled with losers.
It's this weird energy of after each announcement, everybody's like, I just lost.
Fuck.
I can't believe they won.
They're not even a comedy.
Or whatever's going on in their heads.
Hundreds of people, minute by minute minute are like, fuck, fuck.
And then if you win, you can't be like, yeah, you have to be like, yeah, look, it's just
an honor to be nominated.
Right.
So Silicon Valley was beaten by oranges and new black.
Is that what happened to transparent?
Oh, okay.
Transparent is funny,
though, isn't it?
I haven't seen it.
I haven't seen it.
It's good.
Is it good?
There's funny parts to it.
But is it more dramatic
than funny?
It's just as much
as a comedy
as Orange is the New Black,
which is...
I don't think
it's much of a comedy.
What is Transparent?
Is that the one
with the...
Jeffrey Tambor.
Jeffrey Tambor.
It's a Jill Soloway.
He's a trans lady.
He's a transgender person.
He's got funny bits.
He does.
Jay Duplass.
Jay Duplass is in it.
Full on mugging to the crowd.
Have you been to the movies lately, DJ?
I'm in a robe.
I'm in a Arcelio Hall robe.
I don't know if we mentioned that or not,
but you're in a robe.
The madness is real.
Do you understand?
With the hat
and the hair on your face
and everything,
it feels like you're auditioning
for Clockwork Orange 2.
It's true.
The college years.
Clockwork Lebowski.
Clockwork Lebowski
the college years.
It's actually
Clockwork Orange T-O-O.
They let the team go through.
I went and saw The Gambler.
Did you guys see The Gambler?
The Kenny Rogers story?
No.
Watch what you say on this show about Mark Wahlberg.
People love him around here.
I know.
He comes on often.
He's America's Mark Wahlberg.
He's America's Mark Wahlberg.
But I really liked The Gambler.
It was very nihilistic.
Oh, you enjoyed how self-destructive Mark Wahlberg's character was?
No, I just found it interesting that somebody
was like trying to be
no, point taken.
No, I think it's interesting that he was talking about
existentialism. That's not being talked about a lot
in modern films.
So I thought that that was sort of a brave move.
I was stoned when I saw it, yeah.
All right.
I saw the Sniper movie.
American Sniper?
Is it good?
It made so much money.
God, it was so stupid.
Which Sniper movie?
The Wedding Ringer?
It was so bad.
You didn't like it?
They didn't even write a story.
They just showed some scenes.
It's not just the movie about sniping.
He was also a horrible father and husband.
It's just garbage.
No plot whatsoever.
Horrible acting.
Horrible.
How many people got shot, though?
I don't know.
Like 700.
Every single one was righteous.
Listen, you guys,
let's stop talking about this and sign up
on our local army register.
It didn't feel really propaganda.
That's all it was.
It was like a 90-minute Kid Rock video.
But with better singing.
I heard that there's some
suspenseful sequences, though,
that the action is well staged
when he shoots the big lava monster at the end
what was that?
that was the ad before movies for the army
where it was like a guy running around
and then a big lava monster would come at him
he gets him with a sword
join the army, it had nothing to do with
what we just saw
join the army, we'll make you ready for anything
there was more plot in that commercial It had nothing to do with what we just saw. Join the army. We'll make you ready for anything.
There was more plot in that commercial.
Russia has the inhumanoids.
What about you, Ken?
Have you been to the movies lately?
I'm a little embarrassed that I haven't really,
but before the show, I went over to the supermarket next door and I met Donald Sutherland.
Really?
Oh, okay.
That's perfect.
What did you
say to him?
Earlier today I burned my hand because I haven't figured out how to
make tea yet. I bet he was fascinated
by that.
Just as you are right now, Doug.
So I was buying
Hunger Games 3.
I burned my hand today.
El Presidente.
But I was buying like hand ointment
and then I saw him. Oh well you
meet in the hand ointment aisle.
This sounds like it has to
start somehow. If you're gonna see
Sutherland it's in the ointment aisle. It sounds like
a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. It does.
It does. And I normally
don't like to say things to famous people
because it's embarrassing but but I went like,
oh, Mr. Sutherland, I'm a big fan,
and he grabbed my burned hand and shook it,
and it hurt like fuck.
It hurt so bad, and I had to play it cool.
You had to play it cool?
Yeah.
So you're like, ugh.
He's like, oh, thank you.
I loved you in Father Dowling.
Like, thank you very much.
And I'm like, ugh.
I just like the idea that-
Donald Sutherland was on Father Dowling?
I think so, right?
Mystery.
No, no way.
It's fucking Donald Sutherland, man.
Yeah.
DS.
I just like the idea that you were saying Hunger Games 3 as an exclamation.
That's what I thought you said.
No, it's really called Mockingjay.
Right?
Yeah, sorry.
To its friends.
I shouldn't have brought it up.
I feel bad now, man.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize.
So are you dressed this way because you're out promoting
your role in the new movie Black Hat?
Yeah, I have a black hat on for those
listening. For those listeners at home.
I mean, it's right there for the taking.
There's a movie coming out this Friday called Black Hat.
Is that the prequel to Fear of a Black Hat?
I go to the movies now.
It's kind of fun to be like, will TJ be in this one?
Because you're in.
You're showing up a lot.
I try to oversaturate the market.
Yeah. As quickly as possible. No, it's always a treat. I'm trying to oversaturate the market. Yeah. As quickly
as possible. No, it's always a delight
to see you and
thank you for being here.
Thank you for having me. But we're going to start playing the games
now so I have to ask you to go.
Is it the Mockingjay thing?
Shoot the cannon. The Hunger Games
cannon should go off right now.
No, you're going to stay and play, right?
You got anywhere you got to be? I'm just sorry.
You got any glitter you got to get off of your face?
I have a little glitter on my face.
I was at a unicorn field earlier.
That's what I'm going to tell my wife.
I wasn't at the strip club.
Unicorn field is a good name for a strip club.
Yeah, you're right.
A gay strip club.
Hey, don't put any sort of restrictions on it. I'm just talking about the horns. Yeah, you got right. A gay strip club. Hey, don't put any
sort of restrictions on it. I'm just talking about the horns.
Yeah, you got a fucking horn on your head.
You probably put more dudes in it.
No.
You don't think all unicorns are
kind of gay? Yeah.
Well, the ones on My Little Pony
were. I'll just say this.
I've seen Legend and Tom Cruise is in it.
Yeah, that's true. Boy, was he
weird in that. Why was he dancing around?
It was too weird. That movie
sometimes I can't watch it because
Tom Cruise is so
bizarre. But Tim Curry is great in that movie.
Tim Curry is terrifying.
Sorry.
I have no idea
what that movie is. The Devil. Tim Curry
was the devil and he had a red face and big giant horns.
He steals Ferris Bueller's girlfriend.
Yeah, Mia Sara's in it as the girl.
You haven't seen Legend?
Is it an old movie or a new movie?
It's an old movie.
85, Ridley Scott.
Tom Cruise, man.
Early Ridley Scott.
Aren't you a Tangerine Dream fan?
Off of the excitement of Alien and the slight disappointment that it was Blade Runner,
he flew into Legend and really fixed it.
I mean, you've surely seen the sequels.
He fixed his reputation as being risky.
But man, he's made a lot of good movies,
but now he's 80-ish.
Here's what I just found out about movies.
Oh, what about them?
So I went to see Transformers when it was out.
Wait a second, what's happening?
No, the first one. The first one, yeah. Before they watched it. I'm wearing a Transformers when it was out. Wait a second. What's happening? No, the first one.
The first one, yeah.
Before they watched it.
I'm wearing a Transformers shirt right now.
I thought you were going to say something insulting.
Yeah, I'm wearing my Transformers the movie shirt.
You really are?
Yeah.
Use your microphone voice.
It's a Stroke shirt, but it's what the kid wears in it.
Oh, Shia LaBeouf is wearing that.
So I call it my Transformers shirt.
He took it over.
So there's this extra.
Really told you a lot about his character that he was wearing that.
There's this extra when all those
vending machines come to life and they're all evil and they just
like show some hot woman extra
in this blue dress
for like two full seconds and I could
never figure out why the fuck they're just showing
some hot extra. I'm like, did I miss her
in the movie? Did I miss some plot line?
Who is that? Are you talking about
Maximum Overdrive? No.
Just some girl.
Trucks.
And then I just found out.
The first Transformers?
Yeah.
All right.
Somebody's got that on their shelf.
Somebody find that.
Somebody's got that on their shelf.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that.
Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. Somebody find that. will promise girls if they fuck him at lunch that he'll make them feature extras.
And it bothered me for a fucking decade.
Until now, I'm like, oh, okay.
Well, he certainly makes a lot of movies where there's no reason to not show
a hot ass walking down the street
as an establishing shot.
It's not going to take people out of the plot.
Like that little girl that you were in the movie with,
that was pretty lascivious, don't you think?
Or I don't want to make you say anything bad about it. No, Nick Peltz,
I mean, Bay knows what he's doing.
He knows that if you cut to a hot
girl, there's like legions
of adolescents in Ohio
and wherever in the United States. It was so weird.
Yeah! Yeah, robots
isn't enough. You have to also make it
sexy somehow. You can't make the robots
sexy. He's just hoping that when someone's like on
TV, watching TV, like flipping through ass, and then they get to see the rest of the robot sexy. He's just hoping that when someone's watching TV,
flipping through ass,
and then they get to see the rest of the fucking movie.
That's all he's waiting for.
No, it's like, I think every Transformers movie
has a close-up of the female protagonist's ass
immediately in the movie.
That makes sense.
And then a lot of it after that,
but it's like Tarantino starts on the shoes, the feet,
and Bay starts on the ass.
I'd put money on that.
In his movies, we should say.
They've both done that an equal amount of times, I bet.
Introduce characters that way.
Lady characters, I should say.
Lady.
I don't know why everybody's so quiet.
Perhaps.
We thought there was more to the theory.
I thought this would be such a rambunctious panel,
and you guys are super polite.
I appreciate it.
So I should say, because we are running
a little behind. It's all my fault, I guess.
I should say,
let the games begin.
And I'm sorry.
Come out of the shadows,
Black Hat.
People brought some name tags.
There's a giant fist over there.
I already like that.
But there's lots of fun ones out there. I already like that. I like the fist.
But there's lots of fun ones out there.
So go ahead and pick who you want to play for.
Just go physically grab the name tag.
Physically grab.
And bring it back to your seat.
You could just say pass it to me if you like.
Just looking for whatever works for you.
Who called my name?
We'll be right back.
And we're back.
So much fun during the break.
Sorry I can't share it all with you.
Trying to make a vine, but my phone's saying nope for whatever reason that I can't figure out.
Who are you playing for, Ken Reed?
Amanda.
I love you, Amanda.
The film.
Instead of I love you, man. Correct. She may love you, Amanda. I love you, Amanda. The film. Instead of I love you, man. Correct. She may
love you, Amanda.
I'd see that.
I love you, Amanda.
It should be I love you, Amanda.
And then it can be
made in Canada and be a national anthem.
I love you, Amanda.
I went for it. I went for
the Canadian accent. I fell short. I don't know what to say about it. I bought it. I went for the Canadian accent.
I fell short.
I don't know what to say about it.
I thought Hunger Games 3 was called Hunger Games 3.
It's that?
It's called Mockingjay.
But it's the third one.
Is it the third and fourth one?
Yeah, it's all of them.
These days, it's all of them.
It's everything.
Who are you playing for, Ari?
I don't know, man.
He has his ID.
Just say his address.
Just give his social security number out.
Jacob J. Deniman.
Don't do that.
Don't say it all.
His name is Jacob Deniman?
We have to bleep that.
If you don't know who he is, he's... Ari, what class?
He's an Oregon donor.
Class B.
If you have a bus, he can't drive it.
If he's not an Oregon donor...
I'm a donor.
You are?
But not for Oregon.
I'm a donor.
He's so stoned I'm a donor. He said stoned.
He said donor.
You know, if you cut this in half and don't give it back to him,
he'll have a hard time getting back to Chicago.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're going to check your ID at the border.
Yeah.
Do you have your passport as a backup?
You live here now.
That's what I do.
I don't have my license, but I know my license number is...
How many points do I have? So much work for producer Ryan to bleep out all that shit.
Very funny, though.
It expired.
He was gearing up for Halloween, Jacob.
Do you have a voided check you want to also use as a name tag
that we can maybe read the routing number from?
He was born in 82.
It's a bunch of guys fighting to be the littlest devil.
But seriously, everybody send him a birthday gift.
Do you have his address?
His birthday is...
What do you think of his face?
I like it.
He doesn't photograph well.
I think he looks better in person.
He's wearing transitional lenses for his picture.
I think he's kind of a badass.
He's sort of like, fuck it, man.
I'm about to go outside.
Once this shit is done, I'm going right outside.
I don't have time to throw on a couple of fucking lenses.
He looks a little bono.
You're not going to switch glasses? Hell no, man.
I've got to get outside now.
Oh, Deniman. The picture's
the last step. I'm out of here.
You know how long I've been in this line?
Can I call you Danger
Deniman from now on? Danger Deniman.
When he takes them off, he's...
Danger Deniman. He takes them off
and he just passes out from light.
It's just too much light. Danger Denim.
Chicago PD.
Denim is my favorite superhero.
Who are you playing for, Jonah?
This is what it says.
A game by Doug Benson.
Twin Peaks Fire Walk with Demi.
Meet Demi Adeju.
Oh, fuck you.
Was that his last name? What's your problem? How do you say it? It's so angry. Adeju. Adeju. Oh, fuck you. Was that his last name?
What's your problem?
How do you say it?
It's so angry.
Adijuibay.
Oh, that's not so bad.
It's Twin Peaks' Fire Walk With Me parody,
and he did a lot of good Photoshop.
There's him crossing his arms with sunglasses on,
looking like he's in Weekend at Bernie's.
Kept it rolled up so it's hard to open and look at.
But I'm worried that he might be a teenage prostitute
who may be murdered,
and he seems happy
about it in the photo.
In a podcast
where everyone plays
a movie game
and nobody remembers
how it goes.
Good Photoshop.
That is good Photoshop.
In a world.
Good job.
Produced by Doug Benson
at the top.
Yeah, he did a good job
with that.
TJ.
I'm playing for Rebecca
when she cut out
a little paper
in the paper letters
in the style Big Hero 6,
and it has a big Baymax on it.
It says Big Hero Rebecca.
Big Hero Rebecca.
Doesn't rhyme.
What a pun.
It's a pun for the ages.
Did you have a hunch for some reason
that TJ would be here?
Oh, she's over there.
Quit throwing your voice.
She's everywhere, Doug.
That's why I took her thing.
I think Big Hero 6 is a good way to get people's attention.
At Disneyland now, they have Baymax balloons,
and they're all over the place.
And it's just genius.
It's crazy how they cross platforms.
Because he looks like a balloon already.
They didn't have to do anything.
I heard they were getting sued by the State Fluff.
State Fluff.
Forget it.
What was that?
What was that?
I like the State Fluff.
Go ahead and put a bleep in at the end of that
and make it sound like he got out of jail.
It's a marshmallow man made out of fluff.
That's delicious.
State Fluff?
State Fluff.
Michelin Man?
All right, you guys.
Seriously.
Delicious Michelin Man.
Apologies.
Delicious Milan.
Delicious Milan.
Hey, can you edit out my best up and put it in the address?
I'm sorry.
Jacob J. Dayman.
Put your hands together.
I thought you were reading his measurements.
I fucking feel like Thumper and Bambi right now.
Y'all.
And he got brown eyes,
but you won't know it
because this motherfucker
wears transitional lenses.
Sister, child, sit down.
When you see this guy,
his dick gonna knock you out.
I've never seen turn-ons
and offs on a license before.
Yeah, it's really weird.
What do you say to the cop
when they pull you over driving home
and you have a robe on?
Like, what's your explanation?
Just say, hop in.
No, I'm always hitchhiking.
Oh, okay.
I'm just on the road.
So you wear the robe
so that in the darkness
you look like one of the figures
at the end of the Haunted Mansion ride
at Disneyland.
That is exactly
why I do it.
Trying to ride home.
No one's ever known it
but that's exactly right.
Or someone who escaped
from a home.
We gotta determine.
Yeah, that's what I
kinda look like.
We gotta move it along.
I'll do what I want.
I'm Jacob J. Denim.
Here's my ID.
And you can go
fuck yourself.
And you can go
fuck yourself.
A lot of weird shit
happens in this picture.
I'm Jacob Denim. Fuck picture. I'm Jacob Damon.
Fuck you.
I've done no wrong.
What's the J stand for?
Jeans.
I've done no wrong.
Jacob Jeans Denim.
I've done no wrong.
I've done no wrong.
Too determined.
It's the answer to Jacob again.
I am from Chicago, Illinois.
We're going to do some lines with Mark.
You guys want to do some fucking lines?
Let's fucking do this shit.
What's up, TJ?
Jonah, how you doing, dude?
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
How's your mom?
Mark Wahlberg.
But you fucking knew that.
What's going on?
Good to see you.
Hey, Walby.
How you doing, man?
I'm good, Doug.
Hey, really excited about Entourage movie, bro.
Fucking you and me both.
Yeah.
So many titties.
The boys are back!
They are fucking back, dude.
Yeah, man.
Usually when you come on, you don't shake hands with all the guests and me.
Like tonight, you seem to be doing it to make some sort of point.
Yeah, I just wanted to leave TJ out.
Oh, okay.
Seemed like he was doing it.
What's that about?
Are you guys feuding?
I tried to be your friend for three fucking months after that movie. And you just blew me off, okay. What's that about? Are you guys feuding? I tried to be your friend for three fucking months after that movie.
And you just blew me off, dude.
That's not entirely true, man.
It is entirely fucking true.
I texted you when I saw Lone Survivor.
And I was like, this is a true American tale.
But not an American tale.
That was your review to the guy who was in it?
This was a true American tale?
Yeah.
Because it was.
We were comparing it to the adventures of F American tale? Yeah. Because it was. It really was.
We were comparing it
to the adventures
of Fievel the Mouse.
Yeah.
TJ Goes West.
Yeah.
Can Michael Bay
make a movie
called American Tale
that's just asses?
Yeah.
Yeah, I would see that.
We're working on it.
We're working on it
right fucking now.
But TJ probably
won't be in it
because he big-timed me.
I did not.
I didn't big-time you.
Yeah, dude.
He's been very busy
in his defense.
Okay, well,
when I do my reboot
of Swiss Family Robinson, maybe you won't be in it.
Well, that's one of my...
Mark, you know that's one of my
favorite childhood films.
I know, you can be in it.
So that is a real low blow, Marcus.
He already turned around.
Mark, you want me to call the Funky Bunch?
No, don't.
Well, first of all, they're on probation, so they can't leave the fucking state.
Go ahead.
All right?
I told you we were at that movie.
I go, hey, I'm sorry I had to have you killed off, but it was not my decision.
I bought us matching fucking robes, and I bought you a fucking El Camino.
But it was your decision.
You just said I had to have you killed off.
Well, I got it.
That sounds like it was your decision.
I needed more lines.
You got a lot of lines in that film. I did get a lot of fucking lines. You really killed it. I was your decision. I needed more lines. You got a lot of lines in that film.
I did get a lot of fucking lines.
You really killed it.
I was an inventor.
Yeah.
You really were.
Hey, were you able to get let off
from when you beat up that Asian kid?
First of all, it was a grown man.
I was a kid.
Beat that motherfucker down.
Hey, does everybody have a question for Mark?
Because I'd like you to keep it to yourself.
You want to do a fucking line?
Mark is going to say a line from a
motion picture that he has chosen
on his own. I don't get involved in the
process. And then what?
First one of you that can name
the movie
is
the winner of this game.
Is it fear?
I don't really appreciate pre-guessing,
but here we go.
The Entourage movie.
Here we go.
You gotta give him a second.
He winds into it.
He's an actor.
Everything you've said
is from The Entourage.
You saw this every day
on the set of Transformers.
He needs a minute.
Yeah.
He takes about 20 minutes.
He sort of speed punches a dead...
Thank you, Stranger from the Cornfield. Oh, there he went right into dead... Thank you, Stranger from the Cornfield.
Thank you, Stranger from the Cornfield.
Feel the dreams.
Thank you, Stranger from the Cornfield.
It is not Feel the Dreams.
Thank you, Stranger from the Cornfield.
Children of the Corn.
No? Thank you, Stranger from the Cornfield.
Is there a movie called
Stranger from the Cornfield?
No, but I'll make it with you if you want.
It's Transformers 4. It's Transformers 4.
It is Transformers 4.
You guys are both in it.
It's his fucking line, dude.
I said it.
That's TJ's fucking line.
I had trouble remembering the line.
It's like you mind-melded.
It's amazing.
I really did.
I had a moment there.
I was like, wait, that sounds like something I would say.
I got to go.
Donnie.
You haven't said it, dude.
I got to go.
Donnie's shift's almost done at Supercuts. Donnie. You fucking said it. I gotta go. Donnie's shift's
almost done at Supercuts.
Donnie's at Supercuts?
They let him
suit the fucking floor.
He got laid off
of Fantastic Sam's?
Don't even get into it
with that, Toad.
Don't get into it with him.
All right, thanks.
I'm sorry we had to leave
on such a down note
about Donnie.
Good to see you, man.
You wanna work out
or drink protein shakes?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Yeah.
All right, Mark Wahlberg.
He's good.
It's always so fun to have him stop by.
It's a little time consuming, but I enjoy it.
It's crazy.
All right.
He owes me $70.
So we're going to play the Leonard Mulde game, and TJ gets to go first because he won in
that game we just played.
What a surreal experience.
He won in an extremely unfair and biased game.
I thought he would do his own lines.
Who, Mark?
Yeah, yeah, a lot of people make that mistake
because I forgot to say that it's not just his movies.
He probably also said that in The Happening.
He says it in every movie.
It's his I'll be back.
But he let TJ have it for the one movie?
Yeah, he was trying to throw you a bone. Yeah, he threw me a bone. Look what it did. I'll be back. But he let TJ have it for the one movie? Yeah, he was trying to throw you a bone.
Yeah, he threw me a bone. Look what it did.
I fucking got killed.
Let's play the Leonard Malkin game.
Let's do it. Let's really do it.
Let's get excited about the possibilities
of it.
Rebecca?
Wow, Rebecca's changed.
Rebecca is from the
television series Transparent.
Transparent's prequel to Transformers.
Is there only one trans character in that show?
It's just Jeffrey Tambor?
For now.
Right, he might meet.
For now.
That's so ominous.
For now.
Not if I have anything to do with it.
He'll make friends with one or something.
One.
Sounds so alien. Alright.
So TJ gets to pick the first category.
Then we'll go to Jonah
and Etcetera.
Good luck everybody. Am I Etcetera? Here we go.
Terribly bad. I don't even
merit it. You don't even rate?
You're Etcetera and Ken is
no words at all. Fine.
You guys will get your chance.
Just stay boss and strong. You'll get your turn. I do every day when I get all. Fine. You guys will get your chance. Just stay Boston strong.
I do every day when I get up.
Want to do some lines?
And that's movies
where people form a conga line
at some point in the film for some reason.
I don't think that's happened in any of your films.
Celebrating your birthday today,
Skeet Ulrich.
The great Skeet Ulrich. So the films, Skeet Ulrich. The great Skeet
Ulrich. So the films of Skeet Ulrich.
Or, plural.
This is a fun category.
What was Skeet in?
You're asking me what he was in before we play a game
where you have to guess movies that Skeet
was in? He was in a TV show.
He was in a TV show called Jericho.
There you go. That helps out a little bit.
Poor man's Johnny Depp. Or another way you can go with this is not pick this category.
I like the name of his store brand, Johnny Depp.
You could just totally skip over this category.
Because your third option, I think you're going to love it.
It's actually Jacob J. Dainman.
Yeah.
I'll take Jacob Dainman.
Are you taking notes, Ryan, so this will be easy tomorrow?
Okay, good.
Because he has to get up tomorrow morning and fix this.
The episode was only four minutes.
It was really weird.
I hacked it.
The show is mostly numbers.
Drew Barrymore or less.
Drew Barrymore or less.
And that's movies with Drew Barrymore or Kate Hudson.
That's very funny.
Which one of those would you like?
I'll do that one.
Would you like a Drew Barrymore or Kate Hudson movie
from, I don't know if they ever worked together,
from 2008 or 2009?
2009.
Let's keep it fresh.
What is it?
Drew Barrymore or Kate Hudson for real?
That's the category?
Yeah.
Or.
Not and.
Might not even get to you, Ari.
Don't panic.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie.
He says...
Did you just smash that cookie?
Yeah, he cookie assaulted some girl in the front row.
Flicked it right in her mouth.
American sniper.
Smash.
That is an actual...
Join the army.
Flick it in her mouth.
American Sniper.
That's how you train.
That's all it is.
Just throwing cookie in female mouth.
This movie has scenes of Rome's famous...
Cinecita Studios.
Cinecita.
That's not famous
It's where
It's where Fellini
Made his film
Cinecito Studios
Cinecitos
It's pronounced
Mozzarella
Oh okay
It's pronounced
Brata
Leonard also calls
This movie
Lavish
And it's an adaptation
So it's not
An original work It's an adaptation. So it's not an original work.
It's an adaptation of something.
Oh, Mamma Mia, right?
Right?
That could be the answer.
He lists nine names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, TJ Miller?
Who has an astounding record on this show.
According to the statistician following the show,
he has won on like 60% of his appearances on the program. There's a statistician following the show, he has won on like 60% of his appearances on the program.
There's a statistician following the show?
Hang on, hang on.
It gets worse.
And you've never once, even though you win a lot,
you've never once successfully named a movie.
I wouldn't believe that.
I wouldn't believe that's possible.
I'm going to be throwing stats at people now that I got a guy.
You got a statistician.
He could be making up the stats, but I will run with him anyway.
He goes in the after show and they go over the stats.
Yeah.
Yeah, his Twitter name's difficult to say.
That really is it?
It's like underscore J underscore lay underscore.
I think that's it, yeah.
J lay stats.
And if you follow through there, you can get to the rabbit hole that is the statistics from this show.
Like what movie you won on, what the answer was, everything.
Well, that's a strange way to spend your time, sir, but I appreciate you.
Good way to get disability.
I can do it in nine.
It's like people just appreciate that he did it.
Like people appreciate that you think of jokes and tell them in a public setting.
No, I love that he does it.
Hey, little buddy.
No, you were really mean to him.
What's his name, J-Ray?
He's not dying.
What's his name? What's his name? Is it J-Ray? Might be. J him. What's his name, J-Ray? He's not dying. What's his name?
Is it J-Ray? Might be.
J-Ray.
Little J-Ray.
You're not dying.
You're not going to die, little J-Ray.
Eventually you will, but not
anytime soon. He's a doctor because he's
wearing a robe. Dr. J-Ray.
Oh, I'm a doctor.
You're both doctors. Listen, J-Ray, I thought he was a doctor. Dr. J-Ray. I'm a doctor. You're both doctors.
I thought he was the doctor.
Dr. J. Lay.
J. Lay's the doctor in his spare time.
Doctors can deputize other doctors.
Doctor, doctor.
How many did you say out of nine names?
Nine.
Okay, Jonah.
TJ's never, according to the statistics.
Oh, you're going to try to toss it to me in Moneyball
yeah
I'm turning from
Jonah Ray to Jonah Hill
to prove that
Moneyball
Sam and Levine
were here
no
tops would be blown
do you say
name that movie
name that movie
ah
alright well
here's the problem
so all I have is
that he said
it was lavish
it's lavish
three stars and it's 2009 and never heard of Well, here's the problem. So all I have is that he said it was lavish. It's lavish. Italian.
Three stars.
2009.
Shot someplace he'd never heard of.
And it was shot in Rome's famous Scenicite Studios.
Mazzurri.
Isn't that that porno star that ran for government there?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Some ex-porno star.
And your nine names.
Nine names might help you, buddy.
I don't think so. Are Ricky Tognasi. Now's the time that I tell everyone. Tognasiporno star. And your nine names. Nine names might help you, buddy.
I don't think so.
Are Ricky Tognasi.
Now's the time that I tell everyone.
Tognasi's in this.
Togga!
Togga!
Hey, I love the gods
as much as anybody else.
He loves when people
call him Toggs
because he hates
when people call him Nazi.
Yeah.
Ricky Tognasi.
It's time that I say
I've never seen a movie.
Sophia.
It's time that I tell you, guys.
I watched you watch the movie that you're in
that's a big hit. Sophia Loren.
Nicole Kidman.
Kate Hudson.
Fergie
is in this movie.
Well, shit.
Judy Dench.
Which is weird coming right after Fergie.
I like that Dench stench.
Penelope Cruz. What? I do. I like that dench stench. Penelope Cruz.
What? I do. I like it.
I'd like to be in and around it.
Newly Best Actress Nominated Marianne Cotillard.
Okay.
And Daniel Day-Lewis.
The movie is called...
You got this, TJ.
You're so close because it is a musical,
but it's called Nine.
Ooh.
Nine.
It's called Nine?
Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine.
I hate that Nine, Nine, Nine commercial.
What happened?
What are you questioning?
I love that.
Oh, somebody sounded like they made a question.
No.
TJ's on the board with one point.
No, no. Hold on a second. No. TJ's on the board with one point. No, no.
Why did TJ get it?
Hold on a second.
No wonder he went so much.
Now we know.
Hey, this is fucking...
I'm just trying to move this along.
I'm sorry.
He's moving along.
You can put zero just as easily as nine.
All right, Joni.
You get a point.
Finally.
This isn't like at midnight where you get it just for begging for it.
You have to earn it.
But he did earn it! I know, that's my points.
Points!
Alright, so we're going to start
with Ken and then go to
Ari. Ken gets to pick the category.
I go the opposite way now. Yeah, that's how it works.
That's how
you get the girl.
The first category is science!
Yeah! Can you say it? Science! Yeah! That's how you get the girl. The first category is science. Yeah.
Can you say it?
Science.
Yeah.
We'll drop that in of this category.
Keep going.
That'll be fun.
Yeah.
That's science fiction movies that Leonard Maltin gave three or more stars because he was so excited about a science fiction movie.
Or cocktail.
Cocktail.
And that's movies that have drinks named after them at the Arclight Cinemas
on Sunset Boulevard
definitely not doing that
in Hollywood
I don't think most people
know the answers
I don't think most people
have looked
that's actually something
I could
you lived upstairs
from the Arclight
for a minute
yeah but I
used to work there
that's the only one
I could remember
but you remember
the cocktails named
after movies
I did I remember
the machete the machete oh the mach one I could remember. But do you remember the cocktails named after movies? I did. I remember the machete.
The machete?
Oh, the machete.
I thought that was a weird one.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with science.
Yeah, then.
Your third option.
Oh, third option.
Is Inherent Lice, which of course is summer camp movies.
Oh, no.
Or I should say camp movies because I can't keep track of what time of year the kids are going.
Well, it doesn't look like summer. I think you were right. Ernest was going to camp nonstop. Sometimes it's around spring. I should say camp movies because I can't keep track of what time of year the kids are going
usually summer
Ernest was going to camp non-stop
yeah he had all sorts of camps
he had a prison camp
that he went to
he did go to prison
that's an internment camp
that's what I'd ask for if I could buy it
are you thinking of the day the clown cried
I think it wasn't Ernest it was Jerry Lewis
I confuse them all the time.
Anyway, I'm going to go
with science, yeah.
Okay.
I guess I should have
just let you go with it
when you asked for it.
That's all right.
When you asked for it
the first time.
Let's speed it up.
Move this along, yeah.
Would you like
a science fiction film
from 1977 or 1993?
Let's go 77.
Interesting choice.
Four stars from Leonard. Superb.
Intelligent. Sci-fi.
But you knew that.
Says this movie
was re-edited at some point.
Who the re-edited editor?
Who re-edited it?
Yeah, who re-edited it?
It also says this movie has Impressive cinematography
And he lists
A mere
Six names
How many names
Can you get it
Ken Reed
I'm gonna go
Of the Boston Reeds
I'm gonna go
Three names
Three names
Ari Shaffir
Fuck
So you give me
The bottom
If I wanna beat it You give me the bottom Two If I want to beat it, you give me the bottom two names?
Yeah, if you say two, you got to hear only two names from the bottom.
Okay, before I answer, I'd like to ask Jonah real quick.
There's literally no way I can get it in two names.
But if I say two, are you going to challenge me?
You fucking ain't right, I am.
You put me in a tough position then, Jonah.
Jonah takes our prisoners.
I'm going to make this idiot name it.
Ken. You guys just met. I'm going to make this idiot name it. Ken.
You guys just met.
I know. No, he's not wrong.
Three names. Okay,
Ken, what did you say?
How many? Three. Okay.
It's only out of six, so it's
probably a good bid on his part. It's 50%. Sure.
Your three names,
I have faith in you, are
Bob Balaban,
Carrie Guffey, and Melinda
Dillon.
With three more names to go.
77 Bob Balaban.
Vintage Balaban.
Sounds like you're on a car lot.
That is vintage.
Oh my god, that's sweet. That's cherry Balaban.
Cherry Balaban.
That's at his teethiest.
It really blossomed.
Driving a Ford Balaban.
I'm going to go with
Altered States.
Raise your hand in the audience
if you know it.
Not too many.
That one guy.
That guy too. Two beards. How is that a raising of a hand? You're if you know it. Not too many. That one guy. That guy too.
Two beards. How is that a raising of a hand?
You're just showing your hand.
That is...
If I do know it, then I'll use this.
That seems correct. It is Close Encounters
of the Third Kind.
Classic
ballad band.
So Ari's on the board with a point.
Ari's got a point.
Thank you. Not clapping. I'll remember on the board with a point. Ari's got a point. Thank you.
Not clapping.
I'll remember that.
I'll remember it.
Who's an idiot now?
It's me.
The bidding comes to a quick stop with you guys.
So maybe the same thing will happen again
because TJ gets to start and then go to Jonah.
And TJ gets to pick between Tango and Cash.
That's a film that has a dance contest
Why doesn't Jonah have to start?
Have to start? It's an honor.
I wish.
It's a privilege. I wish, TJ.
Tango and Cash.
This is no time to question the rules.
I'm just saying Jerry Lewis made a comedy
film called The Day the Clown Cried
and it's about him bringing children
to the ghetto. It's not entirely a comedy.
It's more of a rom-com.
But no one's ever seen it. Only a few
people have ever seen it.
Very few, yeah.
Why did that come up? I wanted to tell
you guys.
I don't know if you knew or not.
Like a human annotation?
Yeah, exactly.
Thank you very much.
Tango and Cash
is a movie
with a dance contest in it.
L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L The Babadookie is horror movies that Leonard gave two stars or less.
Which one of those do you like?
I think Tango and Cash.
All right.
The year is 1969. Strictly Ballroom, right?
69.
Okay.
Three and a half stars from Leonard.
Sure, sure.
He says about this movie that...
And the answer can be or can't be
Tango and Cash
I don't think there's
any kind of dance competition
in that movie
The dog can move
Turner and Hooch
K911
K9
This movie won an Oscar to the person who was
an actor in the film for best supporting actor.
Leonard calls it fascinating in a sentence that suggests the word fascinating, period.
And he says it's based on a novel, and he lists seven, 12 names.
It's based on a novel.
How many can you get it in, TJ?
12 names.
Dance contest.
Novel.
V.I. Warshawski.
You don't just guess it.
Six Warshawski's?
Oh yeah, six Warshawski's.
That's what my parents used to call it.
How many names do you think it would take you to get it?
How many were there?
12.
12 names, says everybody on the panel.
I'll take 12.
Okay.
Good opening bit.
Jonah, are you really going to do this?
I could have bluffed, man, but you can't
fuck me on this.
This is going to fuck my stats up
permanently, bro.
You understand? I'm trying to fucking play
college ball, man. Don't fuck me on this.
In the name of Jacob J.
Canavan,
I say name that
movie.
Jacob J. Canavan.
I'm going to use that as an exclamation from now on.
You're going to flip my stats completely.
I think you can get this.
I think you can get this.
No way.
No way.
No way. I way. No way.
I mean, I'm saying no way that this is even happening.
This is very interesting.
Here's your 12 names.
I'd give you the clues again, but we'll see how the names do you.
I've never seen a movie.
You've said that.
That's why it's so magical for me. I keep it magical that way. I've never seen a movie you've said that that's why it's so magical for me
I keep it magical that way
I've never seen a film
that's why when you're in a movie
you don't even realize
what a movie is
Paul
yeah exactly
Ryan turn off
turn off every microphone
except for teaching
I'm just
I'm just watching
why are the lights off
Paul
Paul Mantee
Paul Mantee
is in this movie
Paul Man
Paul Mantee
Paul Man Art Matrano let's have some tea Art Matrano Paul Mantee is in this movie. Paul Mantee. Paul Mantee.
Let's have some tea.
Art Metrano is in this movie.
RV Toronto.
Severin Darden
is in this movie.
Al Lewis
is in this film.
Michael Conrad.
Alan and McCleary.
Bruce Dern.
Bruce Dern.
Dernsy was in this movie.
Bonnie Bedelia.
That's what she sounds like.
Red Buttons.
That's the one that really piqued my interest.
Gig Young is in this movie.
What year was it?
Red Buttons is in it?
Yeah, yeah.
69. Gig Young is in this movie? What year was it? Red Buttons is in it? Yeah, yeah. 69.
Gig Young, Susanna York,
Michael Sarazin,
and Jane Fonda.
Michael Sarazin?
Michael Sarazin.
Yeah, Michael Sarazin.
Is he in it?
No, his name's not Sarazin.
Look, if Michael Sarazin is in it, then I in it? No, his name's not in it. Is Michael Cera's in it?
Look, if Michael Cera's in it,
then I know what it is.
I don't remember him
being in a movie with a dance contest
ever. If Michael Cera's in it,
I won't know what it is. There was a band
battle
in one of his films.
Michael Cera?
Yeah. Do you know he had to fight teen pregnancies?
You don't know it.
Just say you don't know it.
I don't think you can get it.
Let's just end this thing.
Jane Fonda?
Let's do it.
Let's finish her off.
69?
Mm-hmm.
Dance contest?
Yes.
I mean, Saturday Night Fever?
Oh, my God.
I've never seen a film
dude that was not a bad guess
I think people were just kind of shocked
that you may have said something that was right
it's close
can we guess what it is?
it's kind of ballparky
that was later but this movie's called
They Shoot Horses Don't They?
that's correct
Henry knew the answer
but Jonah is our
winner.
That's a question.
Jonah wins.
Where is this person?
Where are you at? Come get your
prizes.
Oh, yeah. You like
cookies? Hey, haven't you won before?
No. Okay, cool. Neither have I.
What were you going to do if you have?
Give it back if you have.
Where do I know you from, though?
I won on that midnight. Oh, I see you at that midnight.
That's cool. Were you there today?
And I won that today, too.
It's a good day for Jay Ray.
Spoilage!
Jay Ray's taking them batteries double A.
This is my day.
That's why you have to come see the show live.
Because you're the only ones that know that he's going to win.
If he has a battery, he'd be a double A.
They're going to know on the west coast in about an hour.
But you know before everybody.
Did you just fall asleep and wake up again?
In the middle of that day.
He has Parkinson's.
I have sleep napnea.
Sleep napnea.
I just nap out briefly. Just rest in my eyes, man. Sleep napnea. Sleep napnea.
I just nap out briefly. Just rest in my eyes, man.
Yeah, yeah.
I gotta conserve my energy to get through this.
Hey, we made it.
We made it to too long.
It's eight o'clock, so let's wrap it up, gentlemen.
Ken Reed, what else are you doing out in L.A. while you're here?
Doing a couple shows.
Doing Jonah's show tomorrow night.
The Meltdown.
The Meltdown.
Cool. Always a blast. tomorrow night. The Meltdown. Cool.
Always a blast. Always full.
Get there early. Stand around in a comic book store. Yes.
And what else is up, buddy? That's it.
Then I have to go back to Boston. Back to Boston
doing shows. People should come out and see your shows
because it's so cold out. They should go see the show.
Come out and see the shows. It's like The Shining
but with comedy. Okay.
Fair enough. Thanks for being here.
Good to see you.
Ari Shafir, what's going on that we didn't mention earlier?
My new special, Paid Regular, is out now.
Yeah.
On demand.
Thank you.
Fucking hilarious.
Who is this guy?
Where's this guy at?
He's in the middle.
Denim.
Oh, this is going to be fun.
I'm going to try to get it to you.
Oh, so close!
But now somebody else gets your ID.
Somebody else has your identity.
You can get into a bar tonight.
Who do you want me to say is the shithead
at the end, dude?
Just yell it out and don't take your time.
Okay, you got it.
Jonah Radio.
Jonah Radio, if you're in a band
or any kind of musician at all,
please send your music to jonaradio, R-A-Y-D-I-O, at gmail.com.
We play stuff so people have gotten signed up of us playing their shit.
So it's a good bonus.
Neato.
I like it.
Thank you.
Wait, whose shit am I missing?
Mine.
Oh, I already
got his
okay cool
and I got
yours buddy
what's going
on TJ
new season
of Silicon
Valley
yeah second
season Silicon
Valley
Goreburger
yeah
hopefully more
Goreburger soon
and
yeah it looks
like I might do
this movie Deadpool
so that would be
cool seems like people like that and it's a really funny character Yeah, it looks like I might do this movie Deadpool. No shit. Yeah.
That would be cool.
Seems like people like that, and it's a really funny character.
So like Ryan Reynolds couldn't do it after all?
No, no, he's doing it.
Oh, okay. I'll be inserted.
I thought you were announcing that you're Deadpool.
Can we just say that for now just to get that out there?
You're Deadpool.
Yeah.
DJ Miller is Deadpool, everybody.
I'm definitely not Deadpool in Deadpool. That's as Deadpool, everybody. I'm definitely not Deadpool in Deadpool.
That's what Deadpool would say.
You're in a Deadpool state of mind
for sure.
Thank you, dude, for being here. It's always a pleasure
when you come by, as it is with all of my
guests. Let's hear it for all of them.
Yay!
Thank you.
Thank you.
And as always, Michael Bay is a
shithead
people who can't
yeah weigh in on all of these please
someone into butts could be said to be a shithead
people who can't
use their words are a shithead
I gotta give this back to
Amanda
she just throws it upon the floor a shithead. I gotta give this back to Amanda.
She just throws it upon the floor. She can come grab it. The DVD's
not inside. The precious DVD.
And
President Ronald Reagan
is a shithead. Yeah!
Yeah, finally. Watch another talkie Eyes of gold and viewing prowess makes him Pocky, there's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies