Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Pete Holmes, and Ti West Guest
Episode Date: January 19, 2012Doug welcomes comedians T.J. Miller and Pete Holmes, along with horror filmmaker Ti West.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/pri...vacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies,
sitting seats with 50-year-old pop-up journals in his teeth.
There's still not far that he won't see,
but Doug loves movies! Hey everybody
My name is Doug
And I love movies
I know, it's sort of a melancholy opening
I think that's the least amount
of enthusiasm I've ever had for that.
This is Douglas
Movies.
Coming to you
again
from the UC
fucking B
in Los Angeles
January 17th to Oceans 12.
Since last
I spoke, you listened. I taped
episodes of
Doug Lo's movies and the Benson Interruption
at the Punchline in Sacramento,
which will be available soon
or now in the comedy album
section of iTunes. Thanks for
buying them in advance.
Or, you know, if that's not your
thing, it's totally
awesome that you saved $2.
I'm so happy for you.
By the time this episode
plops, I will be
at sea on
the Weezer cruise.
Yeah, that's
why I'm so weird tonight
is because I keep
seeing the footage of that boat in Italy.
At least it's not the same. Oh yeah, it is the same
cruise line.
That's interesting.
So yeah, so
when I'm on that
boat, when I'm on the Weezer cruise, that boat is going to look exactly like the one in the news.
But, you know, upright and sailing happily to an island in the sun.
Hep hep.
So wish me luck, everybody.
So wish me luck, everybody.
And Graham Elwood and Brendan Walsh, who are also going with me,
wish them luck as well.
And if I make it back alive,
I'll be taping at Douglas Movies at the San Francisco Sketch Fest on Sunday, January 29th at Cobb's Comedy Club at 420.
I'm doing a movie interruption of Patrick Swayze's... I don't know
if he deserves all the credit.
Rowdy Roddy Harrington's
Roadhouse.
Yeah.
Is that the name of the guy who directed that?
That'd be amazing if that were true.
I think it is.
I think his name's Rowdy Harrington.
But anyway, he's like a stunt guy.
They let direct one movie
and he made the best movie
of all time.
It's so good.
It's ridiculous
how good it is. It has something for everybody.
You know what I mean?
I think the ladies like it.
So anyway, I'll be showing
that in San Francisco,
and joining me and interrupting it will be three or four hilarious people.
And it's sold out already, so I don't know why I'm talking about it.
Other than just to say that that's what I love about San Francisco,
is all I've got to do is show up and sit there and make fun of Roadhouse.
And it's sold out.
If there's any last thought I have to put into anything,
it's pretty much my whole career.
You're right.
So, now it's time for Watch This, Not That.
The number one movie in the country is Contraband,
starring Mark, what's happening?
Wahlberg.
Solid action movie.
Avoids some cliches, interestingly enough, but still manages to be not that exciting.
Good for a January release, I say.
So, the number two movie is Beauty and the Beast 3D, to which I say, fuck you, 3D.
So see, contraband, not Beauty and the Beast 3D.
This has been Watch This, Not That.
Thank you.
Mild controversy surrounding the build-a-title game Graham Elwood and I played in the last hotel minisode.
in the last hotel minisode.
I said Dead Man's Curve,
a movie that was released as The Curve,
but I knew about it long enough ago that I think of it as Dead Man's Curve.
And then people thought I meant a similar movie
on the same subject called Dead Man on Campus.
Thank goodness that's cleared up.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Dave Anthony
of the Walking the Room podcast
wrote, the girl with the
dragon tattoo would have been
better if they left off tattoo
and it was about a girl
and a dragon solving mysteries.
This has been Tweet Relief.
Tweets
about movies. Let's see what's in the prize bag, you guys.
Holy shit.
There's a bunch of stuff in here.
I don't know if you guys know
who is behind the comedy CD
Impregnated with Wonder.
But that person might be here.
Also, the next person brought
a small wooden pipe.
In case any of you left the house
tonight without your normal apparati
and do not
have access to an apple or a
can,
this will come in handy for
our winner. So I hope our winner
is a
pot enjoyer. And then
this is a DVD of a TV enjoyer. And then this is a
DVD of a TV
comedy special. The special was
called No Real Reason.
I don't know if anyone listening
knows who did that.
And this is a fun way
to reveal everything.
And then there's a t-shirt.
Some of you, some of which,
what?
Some of you guys are going to get this shirt during the show,
because as you can see, I have a whole clump of them,
contributed by the film company called Magnolia.
And they also submitted.
So you can turn these in if you don't want them.
You can trade them for something else.
No, these are terrific.
These are
this is what a Blu-ray looks
like, right?
I still am not buying Blu-rays.
I'm still on DVDs.
But these Blu-rays of
13 Assassins and Hobo
with a Shotgun are
pretty awesome.
And Doug Betts in
Professional Humoradian, as always, is in there.
Alright, so that's all the stuff that's
going to be in there. Let me bring to the
stage, without any further ado,
filmmaker Ty West,
TJ Miller, and Pete Holmes.
Woo!
What do you want, man?
Sing whatever you want, dude.
It's just perfect.
Loudest is closest.
I love it.
Incredibly loud.
Extremely close.
Unbearably close.
That movie is about me.
Seriously, that should be the title of your autobiography.
It's begun, hasn't it?
But call it, what's it called again?
Incredibly Loud?
Is it Extremely Incred?
Extremely Loud. It's another one of those really hard to remember ones.
And Incredibly Close.
Yeah.
The Pete Holmes story.
Yeah.
And then in parentheses, no 9-11.
No H's 11.
Oh, is that what we're calling it now?
If Hank's is involved, he gets the place of the 9.
Finally, the number 9 gets a break.
Hank's 11.
It's been dragged through the mud this year, the number 9,
with the Herman Cain 9-9-9 thing.
Finally, drop the 9 from 9-11.
Hank's 11. Let's do it.
Hank's 11.
I once tried to remember the name of that movie And I went
Extremably loud
And extremably close
It's impossible to remember
Extremably?
Why not name a movie something that's easy to remember
It's called Hank's 11
Do you think the person inside the box office would get it
if you just smashed your face against the glass
and started screaming?
Yeah.
They're like, is it that or War Horse?
Because there is a scene when the horse hits plate glass.
Ty West is here, everybody.
First time guest on the show.
Make him feel
welcome next to these two
war horses.
You guys should both, before you die,
be the voice of a horse in a cartoon.
You know what I mean?
Because you're halfway home.
Consider it done.
Huh?
Ty directed a new horror film
that is available on demand right now.
VOD, we like to call it, in the business.
Yeah, you can go get it right now
or you can watch it in a Cinemaplex
starting February 3rd?
February 3rd, yeah.
In 25 cities.
Something about that, yeah.
Yeah, very nice.
And which is kind of, in a weird way, gives a horror movie street cred.
You know, because these fucking...
Elm Street cred.
Yeah, Elm Street cred, my friend.
Like, seriously, that devil inside thing.
Oh, that would be a good one. like seriously that devil inside thing that devil inside thing is just like
it's like getting people
to pay $12
to click on a YouTube link
it's such a risky
thing that people paid money to see
that movie just based on
a brief thing that looked
kind of scary
I don't think they found one person who liked it yet
you like devil inside where are you It looked kind of scary. I don't think they found one person who liked it yet. Who liked Devil Inside?
Where are you?
I loved it.
I bet you.
Who here saw it?
Applaud if you saw it.
Yeah.
I didn't think so.
Hey, well, fuck you.
Yeah.
Okay, let's get them, guys.
It's a discerning crowd here at Douglas Movies.
First of all, this is free,
and then that piece of shit movie
that you can tell is a piece of shit is not free.
Why are they allowed to put those posters up?
Just a nun with no pupils,
and you're just like,
I'm going to tell Tom I'm fucked!
That's up here forever.
My subconscious has a new idea now.
It pushes horror in your everyday life.
Right in your face.
Why does the E-Train baby have to grow up in a world?
Yes!
I don't need to see it.
It's frowned upon.
In this establishment.
Did I say that Ty's movie is called The Innkeepers?
Did I say that?
It's like The Shining, but now.
And with a hot girl
instead of Shelley Duvall.
That's it?
I like that.
Somebody's going to win that t-shirt, but also I got a big
clump of them, so I'm just going to randomly throw
them into the crowd during the show.
Whenever I feel like, you know,
it's like a goose of excitement.
Like, could you feel that?
That was palpable.
It's a horror movie called The Innkeepers.
Did you get a studio note where they go, did you consider Sinkeepers?
That's the sequel.
That's the sequel?
Yeah.
Think ahead.
Think ahead.
No, Sinkeepers is like the porn ripoff.
That's right.
Welcome to Sinkeepers.
I'll be shining your dickhead.
Yeah, you might as well say something like that right away.
It's called Sinkeepers.
Don't beat around the bush.
Sinkeepers seems like more of a normal thing.
It might be more of a surprise that something weird is going on.
it might be more of a surprise that something weird is going on.
But it's a... What I liked about it is that
this whole paranormal activity,
1 through 45,
or for however long they get away with it,
I just don't like that it's supposed to be hidden cameras
so the people on camera don't need to be interesting.
You know what I mean? That's what
the innkeepers is. There's only a few characters
in it, but the characters who are in it are
characters. They're interesting people
who you care about so then
when shit starts to go bad,
it's more interesting than in
Paranormal Activity 3, I'm just sitting there going,
why do we care that
a chair fell over?
I always want to know
they always find creative ways to justify
that they're filming it
like something fucked up is about to happen
they're like, it's a problem with the drywall
I'm going to get the old camcorder
take a look at that
that's floor to ceiling
oh there's a demon eating my dog
oh my god, I'm not going to stop filming
and save my dog, I'm going to zoom in
on his face
and all the drywall's in the back it's both of my nightmares come true Oh, my God, I'm not going to stop filming and save my dog. I'm going to zoom in on his face.
And all the drywall's in the back.
It's both of my nightmares come true.
Oh, why do I talk this way?
The show's ruined. Pete's talking again.
Yes, Doug?
I think there should be more of those.
Honey, I attached a camera to this oscillating fan.
Do you think it'll be interesting how it might pan away from what we really want to see at several points
during the story.
That happens in three?
Yeah. Oscillating fan camera.
No, it doesn't. Really?
Yeah, and you fucking sit there.
You sit there and wait for it.
Nobody gets up and leaves like,
oh, by the time it goes back, I don't care.
That was the three-word pitch that got it made.
They go, there's nothing new you can do.
Oscillating fam.
Camera.
And I'll see your three-word pitch
and bring it down to the two that it actually is.
Oscillating fam.
But then I said cam.
That's the whole pitch?
Yeah, but you said oscillating.
I did it blank in between those two words.
God damn it.
Jordan, we're going to need a call on this one.
I forgot where it was going.
The travel is not looking so good.
Can I do this as a whole show?
Who is that old woman?
This voice is the voice of a horror movie character.
Why is she so southern?
It's not a woman, it's a man.
It's an old woman.
Get out of my property, I'm a goddamn man.
You're an old woman.
I am an old woman inside.
Devil inside, None eyeballs.
How come that's okay to see?
You should invest online.
We brought everything
we've discussed into one thing. I know, and it's
always the E-Trade baby. Yeah.
You always bring it back to them. That's
all I can do. Remember, I'm the baby.
I don't ever forget.
Feed me attention.
Ah.
What kind of talking car are you?
What car are you?
I'm the sedan, Doug.
We've talked about this.
I take you out on my boat.
You're the voice of a car?
Oh, wait, I've seen that commercial.
Hey.
Well, let's all listen to you remember it.
Yeah.
Here's the difference between the car and the E-Trade baby.
I found out the E-Trade baby was you because I heard you talking about it somewhere.
I had no idea it was you.
I thought it was Mike Birbiglia.
He's doing the live version on Broadway.
But T.J. Miller's car, I knew was Pete Holmes when I heard it.
You mean him?
No, I knew it was him, yeah.
I'm a car, yeah!
Get into it!
Drive me!
Put it into neutral!
Denver!
Denver!
It was a promotional stunt!
Backstage, I was like, how many times do you think you're going to impersonate me out there?
And he's like, 12! Yeah, yeah! And then I'm like, how many times do you think you're going to impersonate me out there? And he's like, 12.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I'm seriously, he started masturbating.
And he was looking at me hard.
Like he had no eyes and he was a nun.
That's one.
Let's count them.
It made it really awkward for me sitting back there.
I'm working on an impression of you.
The listeners are like,
why does the audience have so much patience for this?
Oh, because Doug is throwing shirts to them.
While the seals go back and forth.
Then you're throwing T-shirts
like fish at the seals.
It's terrible.
You're like this weird fisher king.
It's the worst.
This is the worst circus.'re like this weird fisher king. It's the worst. This is the worst circus.
He's a weird fisher king.
I'm fighting every urge
to do the horror movie voice.
I just want you to know that.
What's the horror movie voice?
Oh, you remember it
from earlier.
All right, let's focus up.
This is a moment ago.
Jesus.
Throw those seal fish T-shirts. Let's focus up. This is a moment ago. Jesus. Throw those seal fish t-shirts.
Come on.
Let's focus up.
This is what it's like.
I am to Doug what you are to me.
Yes.
It's terrifying.
It's like seeing the face of your own madness.
It's like being on this podcast with you right now.
Take a good look at the devil inside.
Get excited.
Now, Ty, when you were scouting locations for innkeepers,
how did you end up...
Where is the inn in innkeepers?
It's in Torrington, Connecticut.
And it's a fictional somewhere else, though, right?
No, it's there. It's actually
the real place when I made a movie a couple
years ago called The House of the Devil.
Yes! Right?
And
we stayed at that hotel because it was
just a cheap place to house the crew.
And we were making this satanic horror movie in the middle of nowhere
and weirder stuff would happen back at the
hotel. And everyone
started believing it was haunted and the whole town
is obsessed with being haunted and there's really a guy at the front
desk that has a ghost hunting website
and he's a ghost hunter for sure
that's right that confirmed it
geocities.ghosthunter.net
I'm for real
there's a counter
we have that in the movie we made a geocities
site in the movie
I'll believe everything.
I have an amazing lover website.
I'm just saying that if it's a website, it's true.
Oh, I didn't get it.
And then he did a baseball licking lips thing
And I was like this must be a reference to another show
TJ's been on
TJ you got back to the hotel
Just for the live audience
And tonight it was licking his lips
And pretending to play baseball
So that's in your brains forever
Never tell my mother that
So is this for realsies?
The place was haunted?
Yeah, for realsies.
It is actually haunted.
I don't really believe in ghosts.
I'm a bit of a Seattle fan.
Do you believe in ghosts?
I don't, but it's the closest
I've ever come to believing in ghosts.
There's definitely things
that happen in the hotel.
Everyone believes it's haunted.
Doors open and close by themselves.
Lights turn off and on.
Things like that.
But I don't go from the door open to like ghosts right away i have a lot
of other options before i get to go our friend nick vateron has this joke about why if it's a
ghost why are they doing such little annoying things they're like whoa your glasses moved
whoa i shut your door you wanted it open because it's cold they do like so fucking weird yeah they
do like hack movie ghost
things. Yeah, exactly. I run down the hall
screaming ghost as soon as like my
satellite gets cut off in the room.
If it's a bell thing. I put the TV out
in the hallway like the last scene of Poltergeist.
I'm like, fuck this shit.
I wish that was the last
scene of Poltergeist. The TV
being thrown out of an apartment.
It's like, you can't go, fuck this shit.
Poltergeist.
Am I the only one that wants to know what you saw that was supernatural,
bigger than a door closing?
I didn't see anything.
The closest thing that I had is that we, in House of the Devil with Dee Wallace,
who plays the mom in E.T., and she was in Cujo and all these great 80s movies how she is a yep she uh
she's like a spiritual healer now really and um i didn't know that so yeah and uh i was the mom
from et come let me lay my hands on you that's okay she does this with the finger There you go
We had Reese's Pieces
And got down to it
And it was
Yeah, so she would communicate with spirits
While we were there
I thought you were going to say, well, hi
Were you ever around her when you were communicating?
Could you ever whisper and be like, what's going on up there?
She would constantly tell me things
She would?
She would email me after she went home
about stuff.
When she went home.
That's also kind of
her hitting on you.
Hold on.
Let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this.
That's also kind of
her hitting on you.
Have you ever...
She's emailing you at night.
She's like,
1 a.m.
It's ghosty in here.
Come over.
Did you ever...
Make a scary movie.
Did you ever see her in her cat costume
no I did not
the Halloween scene
it's awesome
let's all just
listen to you remember it
a lot of guys around that time
were Princess Leia bikini
I was D. Wallace Stone in a cat costume.
A lot of guys.
A lot of guys were D. Wallace Stone.
I'm the voice of a car.
Well, actually, that's a Pete Pearson impression.
That's a better DJ?
I'm the voice of a car.
Why is the end of a car.
Why is the end of... Yeah!
Why is...
Chris!
Let's go get some nitrous!
Yeah!
Okay.
You found a topic.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Let's play some games.
No, I can't.
Shall we play some games?
So the answer that you were like,
we made a movie about this place was because the woman in the cat costume was like,
I'm having a conversation with dead folks.
And you're like, yeah, we're doing this.
Is that what happened?
Is that how you found the movie?
That sort of inspired the character in the film played by Kelly McGillis to be an actress, right?
A little bit.
At first I wanted to make a movie about an oscillating fan.
But somebody had already done that.
So I had to think of something else but
uh what were other people seeing um yeah no one saw anything I don't believe in
ghosts it's fuck it they said they here's a lot of things well if you go
but I don't believe you everyone has really weird dreams and everyone just
there's a vibe there like if you stay at the Best Western down the street It doesn't seem haunted
But when you stay at the Yankee Peddler
It seems haunted
It just feels haunted
A lot of the movie is about ghost hunting
Because I got obsessed with those ghost hunter shows
Because I'm fascinated with the fact that there's about four of them on the air
And they're all in season five
But they've never found one fucking ghost ever
How do they keep getting renewed?
They fail every week, they should be cancelled It doesn't make any sense They've never found one fucking ghost ever. How do they keep getting renewed? Like, they fail every week. They should be cancelled.
It doesn't make any sense. They've never found
anything? No. I just assume they found things
and I don't give a shit.
Hold on a second. Hold on. Why are ghosts
ever scary? Worst case scenario,
they make a penny go up a wall.
There's no way, Doug, that you think that if they
found the existence
of supernatural beings,
that it wouldn't be on CNN.
Of course you would know.
With them never finding anything.
There's no one better at finding ghosts than them
and they've never found a ghost. Doesn't that prove
that there's probably not ghosts?
Are they doing the counter-argument for what they're
trying to do? You know what? You were the type of guy
that burned Galileo.
These are the roles that we play.
And by that you mean insulted him publicly.
We gotta play some games, you guys.
Starting with Build a Title.
This game is gonna be fast.
Build a Title.
Yeah, fast and exciting.
And it's gonna determine who goes first.
This is the only thing I've ever been good at
in this whole thing.
Alright, well, good luck to you.
What is that over there?
There's a woman over there.
Some sort of woman over there, Doug.
She's making a weird noise.
I'm going to get my video camera real quick.
Put it on the fan.
Put it on the fan.
That's the new put him on the glass.
Put him on the fan.
That's the new Sir Mix-a-Lot.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus. That's the new Sir Mix-a-Lot.
That's the new Put Him on the Glass. You guys know that song.
Sir Mix-a-Lot's failed
sophomore attempt. After I
like Big Bud's speed.
That's what you just said.
That's the new Put Him on the Glass.
Last night I saw Drew Carey
sing Baby Got Back at karaoke.
Is that true? That's 100% true.
The Bigfoot Lodge.
That place is so weird.
It seems haunted.
Does it?
Doesn't it kind of?
It does.
You're arguing that places
that seem haunted.
I get it.
My next film is going to be
about the Bigfoot Lodge.
Is that true?
No.
Damn it.
He gets us every time.
He does get us every time.
We'll start with you, Pete.
Okay.
At Space Jerker.
Hey, Mom.
I have to admit, sometimes I pick what people say
just because their name cracks me up.
Space Jerker suggests
Raging Bull.
We'll start with Pete, then we'll go to TJ.
I want to say Raging Bull Durham.
I'm not going to because what are you going to do?
You know what I mean?
Durham?
I think that would be a smart play to say that.
Oh, because then I'd want to shut it down.
But I love when it goes and goes and goes.
All right, well, then just say something.
Raging.
I don't care.
You do care.
I don't care.
I have such a bitter attitude towards you and this game and the way you play it.
I got nothing else.
I got to say Raging Bull Durham.
Okay.
Sorry.
I said it.
See, all that talk was for naught.
Yeah.
This one is remarkably hard right out of the gate.
Yeah.
Raging Bull Durham Hamlet.
Yeah.
Hamlet was made into a motion picture more than once.
Let's fucking party.
I like the one with Billy Crystal in it.
All right.
Raging, bull, der, ham, let the right one in.
Whoa.
And a motherfucking horror reference to boot.
You guys are killing it.
Take it, break it, and forsake it.
Raging Boulder Hamlet
the right one
in
in
yeah yeah
I got it
in
it's an easy one
take it
sometimes there's more
pressure
do it
pressure
do it
okay so what's the first one
I'm sorry
it's uh
Raging
Boulder
Hamlet
the right one
in
the name of the father
boom
what a blown opportunity
to promote my movies.
Keepers, you asshole.
In Keepers.
Oh, I see what you're doing.
In Keepers.
I would not have gotten it.
I fucking worked so hard to make this happen.
I don't.
I invented Space Jerker.
You did?
I would be amazing.
You're so fucked, Pete.
I can't believe this.
No, I did nothing to make that happen,
and then you ruined it
Oh really?
What happened?
TJ admitted he also wouldn't have known
Not true
What an idiot everybody
Do you know how much pressure
This fun little game is
And I'm supposed to promote his film
About inspired events from a woman
E.T.
Try it again Doug
With me doing the answer
No no we have to continue on It's Raging Bull Ham Try it again, Doug, with me doing the answer.
No, no, we have to continue on.
It's Raging Bull Hamlet.
Raging Bull Der Hamlet.
The right one in the name of the father.
Of the bride. Father of the bride.
Boom.
So there we go down to
time.
Sorry about that, man.
You took off your jacket beat because you're getting hot.
It's getting warmer.
I'll say innkeepers like three times in a row
at the end. Or until
Michael Keaton appears.
The innkeepers.
Okay, so raging
bull Durham let the right one in the name of the father of the bride's The innkeepers Okay so Raging bull
Derham
Let the right one
In the name of the father
Of the bridesmaids
Very nice
Oh shit
Pete
We're fucked
Pete what do you got
Bridesmaids
Why couldn't it be Bridesmaid?
Raging Bull
Or Bride Wars
Then we're on war
And we can go on into the war
Let the right one in
In the name of the father of the Bridesmaids
AIDS Philadelphia
That is terrible.
Hanks 11!
We're having a lot of fun.
Alright, Pete's out. What do you say, TJ Miller?
Man, you really kept the reins on this time.
Yeah, I have to do full reins all the time.
So, Val Durham.
AIDS, Philadelphia.
Really? You're doing AIDS, Philadelphia?
No, he's not letting that fly.
So what's the ending of it?
Shit.
The innkeepers.
The innkeepers.
Alright, time's up.
What's the whole thing?
Reggie Poulter.
Here I am.
In the name of the father of the bridesmaids.
Maids of honor.
The tiniest voice
from the distance
who is holding it in
without an escape.
As I said,
there's nothing called...
She goes,
that's what I'm saying.
There's nothing in life
called maids of honor.
There's a maid of honor.
No, no, no.
I think maids of honor.
I was going to look it up. Maids of honor. That's a movie. Just the one maid of honor. No, no, no. I think Maids of Honor. I was going to look it up.
Maids of Honor.
That's a movie.
Just the one, Maid of Honor.
And it was, yeah, it was like Patrick Dempsey.
Maids of Honor.
Look it up.
Maids in Manhattan.
Not maids.
Who was in Maids of Honor?
I think it's a movie.
And what was it about?
Look it up.
It's about bridesmaids.
I got you on that one, daddy.
Now you got to get in the truck.
I call me daddy, and I
you don't even have a truck.
I rented one for
tonight, in the event that
this would happen. Are you doing
an impression of Michael Rooker right now?
But after a tough night.
Okay,
Ty, do you have any ideas?
Wait, did we count that one? I think Maids of Honor is real, is it? It's when you have any ideas? Wait, did we wrap this one up?
I think Maids of Honor is real, is it?
It's when you have two copies of Maids of Honor.
Maids of Honor. Hey, pass those Maids of Honor.
It's what I call two copies.
Maids of with honors.
Why do you have two copies of it? Just for this moment,
and then you kill them? That's how you die.
Yeah, why do you need both of them?
Pesto's Maids of Honor.
Why do you need both of them?
Just for this moment.
One for the kitchen, one for the living room.
I can't be not watching Maids of Honor in every room.
You said it again.
That's because I have so many copies of it.
The innkeeper.
Who was the last person to add to this title, officially?
Mr. West.
Who, Mr. West?
Adam West?
All right, so it's Raging Bull,
Der Hamlet,
The Right One,
The Father,
In the Name of the Father,
Of the Bridesmaids
of Manhattan.
Wait, do I have to do it again?
Just Maid in Manhattan. No, you can if you want to.
I'm going to show off
and put one on.
Just drop one.
Treat yourself. Go for it.
Norma Raging Bull
der have let the right
one in the
name of the father of the bride.
Is it called Norma Rage?
Oh, you're busted on that one.
No, there isn't. Norma Rage.
Norma Rage. Norma Rage Norma Rage
Norma Rage?
That doesn't seem fair
Then I could just do Bridesmaid
Norma Rage
What's that funny?
You guys are the best
One guy listening to this podcast is like
No, what is that?
Norma Ray
It was Sally Field
Best actress Oscar for playing a protester,
and then she won again the next year
for Places in the Heart.
She said,
you really love me, like me.
And there's one girl...
Oh, the name of the movie is Norma Rae.
Norma Raging Bull.
See how the game works?
And there's one girl out there
that knows that there's a movie
called Maids of Honor.
Norma Rage?
You're dead.
You are dead forever.
This ends now.
So Ty is our winner
of that round.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Now you guys have to,
we're running behind schedule,
so please go quickly
pick a name tag
that you want to play for
in the audience.
Everybody get your name tags out.
There's a hat
that says Christine on it.
And just go take it from them, Ty,
with whoever you want to play for.
It's an interesting experience seeing all these signs.
Some people didn't bring them.
I guess they were...
It's hard to have a sign out there in the cold.
It's very cold out tonight.
Would you have...
Who's that frog, Ty? Sydney. It's a little Kermit the cold. It's very cold out tonight. Who's that frog, Ty?
Sidney.
It's a little Kermit the Frog.
It's a Muppet baby of Kermit the Frog
with Sidney written on it.
That's a lot of effort. That sounds good.
Chatting it up over there.
Paranormal rage activity.
Then AIDS Philadelphia
should have counted.
Alright, what'd you get, TJ? Maids of Honor. Brooke. paranormal rage activity. Then AIDS Philadelphia should have counted.
Alright, what'd you get, TJ?
Maids of Honor.
Brooke with the Lollipop Guild.
Oh, that's cute.
There's a little picture of one of the... So is she a little midgler?
They mixed up movies so many times.
Where's Brooke at?
Looks right over there.
Alright.
Get ready, Brooke, to come down here and write down Who you want me to call a shithead
Brooke
Yeah, I could name that
Scream movie in negative 17 names
I could
I thought I could
You know when you think you can and you can't?
Those are the sad moments in life,
but not the ones you regret.
All right, so we'll start with Ty,
then we'll go to TJ right there.
You get to pick a category, Ty.
Would you like not chipmunks?
That's movies with talking animals you like not chipmunks? That's movies with talking animals
who are not chipmunks.
I loaded it up for David Cross last week
and we didn't get around to it.
Weezer.
You guys, listen up.
You're still playing.
Weezer is movies where Shirley MacLaine
plays someone named Weezer.
Or... Weezer is movies where Shirley MacLaine plays someone named Weezer Or Or
Tarantino's worst of last year
He made a list of the worst
Movies of last year so I have one of those
Chosen
I'll go with that one because I read that
Oh you read that? Oh he's got a leg up on you guys
I only remember the ones that he liked because there was Three Musketeers,
which is fascinating.
Isn't that weird?
He loved Idiot Brother, too.
Yeah.
So those two can't switch under out?
It's just weird that he would like that.
I always picture him home with a gun
and somebody's dead and he's got blood all over his face.
He's like, what the fuck?
What the fuck am I watching next?
You know what?
From now on,
you should say sidebar
and then I'll say no.
Okay.
I bet.
Sidebar.
No.
Leonard Maltz gives this movie
two stars, Ty.
It's from 2011,
as we already discussed.
And he also says about this movie
that it is
weird
and broadly played
weird and broadly played
two stars from 2011
it's one of Quentin Tarantino's
worst films of last year
and there are
nine names
listed he knows it, just name it and there are nine names listed
in the... He knows it. Just name it.
How many
names do you think you can get in it, Ty?
I'll just do seven.
Okay.
I like that. TJ?
Name that movie.
Whoa!
TJ's always got an interesting Player or two up his sleeves
Guys I'm sorry I'm bad at the end
I'm bad at it
I try to be good at the beginning
Alright Ty
Here's your seven names
I'm not even going to give you the clues again
Because you're about to tell me the name of this movie
The names are Scott Glenn,
John Hamm, Oscar Isaac,
Carla Gugino,
Jamie Chung, Vanessa
Hudgens, and Jenna Malone.
That's so obvious. I thought it was going to be
this one. Sucker Puncher. That's correct.
Yeah, no idea.
No idea.
I'm just amazed he gave it two stars.
Two stars is genuine.
That movie was garbage.
That movie was garbage.
That movie...
Have you ever seen a movie
where you're embarrassed for the director
because he's revealing too much
about what he likes sexually?
He's like, oh, yeah,
the girl does a flip
and you see a skirt
and then the robot shoots the hot oil
on her pigtails.
And she goes, yeah,
shove the Twinkie in my nose.
And no one had the balls to be like, no, we're not making this piece of shit. And she goes, yeah, shove the Twinkie in my nose. And no one had the balls
to be like,
no,
we're not making
this piece of shit.
And he goes,
but Bjork is playing
and then I'm jerking off
in the back with a carrot.
No sidebar for you.
No sidebar.
Sidebar, sidebar, sidebar.
No sidebar for you.
I'm bad at the game.
I do bits.
No sidebar for you.
Is that material
that didn't make your CD?
That's material
that keeps me up.
No sidebar, sidebar.
Oh.
Now you sound like we're in Chinatown.
I'm Pete!
I will only accept an innkeeper's sidebar
if you have something to say about innkeepers
on VOD now
and in theaters on February 3rd, 25 cities.
Is the poster Mary and Joseph
and it says,
this is the one inn you don't want to stay in?
Okay.
Oh, man, I'm the best.
Listen, listen, hey,
here's my sidebar about The Innkeepers.
It's going to be a great film. Everyone should see it.
Pete's not the best.
Why would you do that?
I'm kidding you.
Yeah!
Get impersonating.
Back when I just said Denver.
All right.
We're going to start with Pete, who's playing for Ryan.
We're going to start with Pete playing for Ryan.
And you get to pick a category, Pete.
Ryan.
And then from there, we'll go to Ty.
Would you like, at least a kick suggested I'm inside Inside You which is body switch movies.
Yeah, dang.
Celebrating a birthday today, Mr. Jim Carrey.
So the films of that dude.
Crazy.
Or at I Like Monkeys
M-U-N-K-E-Y-S
suggested Roadhouse
because I'm going to be showing Roadhouse
at the San Francisco Sketch Fest
but the category Roadhouse
is movies that have an RV in them.
A roadhouse, if you will.
I like monkeys!
People are going to think that was me yelling.
Which one would you like?
I'd like the Jim Carrey one.
I don't know the other one.
You got it, baby.
That's not a Jim Carrey thing. You got it know the other one. You got it, baby. That's not a Jim Carrey thing.
You got it, E-Trade baby.
Oh, I see.
I don't like calling people baby, but in your case...
I see what you've done.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 2004.
What was the category again?
Oh, Jim Carrey.
It's a Jim Carrey movie.
All good, y'all.
Uh-huh. And he says about this movie,
he says it's ingenious,
and
that it has an Oscar-winning
screenplay.
Three stars.
Yeah, three stars from Leonard. 2004.
Okay.
And I'll tell you how many names
You can go all the way to zero if you think you already know it
I know, I know
It's nine names
If it's not Eternal Sunshine, I'm a dick
Is it not?
How many names do you want to bid?
How many names do you think you can name?
What you think this movie
I just blew it.
I thought I said I'll just name it.
Oh, he has to tell me.
Blew it's a little rough.
It might be The Majestic.
You don't know.
Oh, that's true.
It might have been the number 23.
Could be The Truman Show.
It could be...
Fun with Dick and Jane.
Which was no fun at all.
Yes, man.
No, sir.
Flighty Afromighty.
Fated Afiduti.
Okay, so even if I'm wrong, I'll say, you just looked at me like the Joker.
How many names?
I'll say zero names.
Okay, he says zero names.
He seems pretty confident.
Am I wrong?
Here we go to Ty.
Stop asking and start talking.
He can go into negative names now if he wants.
How many names are on the...
Wait, negative names go from the top down, right?
Yeah, from the top down.
Well, I can definitely do negative one.
Yeah, so are you saying negative one or do you want to go deeper?
I'll say negative one.
All right, he says negative one.
So now we come to TJ.
You're out of it now, Pete.
Good work.
I'm still a baby.
Good work, baby.
TJ?
Repeat the category again.
It's Jim Carrey movies.
Jim Carrey movies, yeah.
And he says he can get it in a negative one name.
What year?
So you have to go two. 2004.
You have to get it in two names deep
if you want to take this.
Or you can challenge him.
He might be wrong.
I think he might be wrong.
Name that movie.
All right.
Those are the words I wanted to hear.
We're going to wrap this shit up right now.
I'm pretty sure the one name would be Jim Carrey.
Uh-huh.
I think that it might be Eternal Sunshine.
Oh, God. I need a full answer. Oh, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Uh-huh. I think that it might be Eternal Sunshine. Oh, God. I need a
full answer. Oh.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That is correct!
So I did know the movie.
Ty West is our winner.
I knew the movie.
He got two points, right?
Sometimes
what I wish would happen
isn't the right thing, the thing that actually happened. You know how that works when you're high? I still feel good because I knew the movie.'t the right thing that actually happened.
I still feel good because I knew the movie.
I've never done that before.
That made you feel good?
That what you just did just now made you feel good?
That's why he's so happy all the time.
I don't have any constant stankers.
You have such weird little hurdles you have to get over
to be thrilled with life.
I knew that movie.
Hey, that curb was actually a step up like I thought it might be. To be thrilled with life. I knew that movie. Hey, that curb was actually a step up
like I thought it might be.
Giant smile on your face.
Pat myself on the back.
Oh my God.
I love it.
Lower the standard
for what makes you happy.
Guess the silverware drawer
on the first try
at a house you've never been?
Hell yeah.
Somebody change
this baby's diapers.
He guessed the silverware drawer.
You ever been at somebody's house and you're like, it's probably right next to the sink.
Okay, I'm in business.
There's forks and knives and spoons and get the camera, honey.
Oh, there's a ghost in the spoon.
Who sings that?
Who sings that and forces callbacks?
I force callbacks all day.
We don't like those people.
They're not white.
Where's Sidney that you were playing for?
Ty was playing for Sidney. Here you go. Do you want your frog back too?
He doesn't get to keep that.
There you go. There's your prizes.
And a nice happy birthday bag.
Did Ryan write anything on the back?
Oh, he did.
Nicely done, Ryan.
Okay, I got it.
Does that one have anything on the back?
No.
Where's Brooke at?
You've got to come up here, Brooke.
I'm sorry if that embarrasses you coming up on stage.
There's Brooke.
Where are you at, Brooke?
Come on up.
And if you guys, let's start with you, Pete.
Do you have anything to plug?
You made a weird podcast. Yeah, man. Ongoing, Pete. Do you have anything to plug? You Made It Weird podcast.
Yeah, man.
Ongoing, successful.
Hi, how's it going?
Yeah, check out the Doug episode.
Or Brooke, just write down who you want me to call a shithead here at the end.
Yeah, You Made It Weird.
And I'm in Chicago at the end of the month at Up Comedy Club and then at Sketch Fest on February 3rd and 4th.
Oh, you know what?
Up Comedy Club, they moved because some old man tied a bunch of balloons.
We were third and fourth.
Oh, you know what?
Up Comedy Club, they moved because some old man tied a bunch of balloons.
Oh my God, I saw that club floating through the sky.
That was very good.
That was laser accuracy, and I loved it.
TJ Miller, what do you got to plug?
I am also going to do a podcast,
because why not?
And it's called Cashing In with T.J. Miller.
It's my friend Cash Levy.
It has an interview show, but he can't.
No one will do his show, and I don't understand why.
So I'm the only guest on the show.
So we've done 12 episodes,
and we're going to start releasing them at the end of January.
And also, I'm remixing my own ridiculous music album.
Because why wouldn't I?
Lil Wayne did.
And so that's going to be on June.
It's the illegal art remix tape of the extended play EP.
With about six guest artists.
So that'll be pretty funny.
Ty West.
I'm just promoting The Innkeepers
currently on VOD
and theatrical
February 3rd
yeah yeah
it's good
yeah
check it out
Kelly McGillis
she's in it
yeah
you've been wondering
what she's up to
Sarah Paxson
and Pat Neely
rounds out the cast
yeah
it's a
tight knit group
but they're good
plugs for me I'm excited to watch it what? I'm excited to watch his film rounds out the cast. Yeah, it's a tight-knit group, but they're good.
I'm excited to watch it.
What?
I'm excited to watch his film.
TJ, the one thing we've really talked about is end-of-show sidebar.
That is where sidebar is completely forbidden.
But the sidebar to the sidebar
was about the end.
I said to him one time, I said,
TJ, if David Letterman was trying to throw out a commercial
and you were his guest,
would you interrupt him while he's throwing a commercial?
And you said,
Where's David Letterman?
Just kidding.
What was I supposed to do?
What did you really say?
What did you really say?
That you did it to him?
I did accidentally do it to him.
Because I thought he wasn't going to plug this show.
I was like, I'll work it into the panel.
And I did.
And then afterwards he was like, okay, thank you.
And they were like, he thought you were really funny,
but you can't interrupt him at the end.
And I was like, oh no.
So that's the bad story for that
Doug
thanks guys
yeah Pete what?
I'm starting to regret how I played that last one
I think I understand the game now
and it's not so much bits about
Sucker Punch as it is
not yelling out the name of the movie.
And then I know the noise. There were
noises that the crowd made and I get them now.
I want them to know. Listen, it's because you're thinking
too much about everything else. Just think about
what's in your heart.
What's in my heart?
Oh, another racist song.
The great thing about
the blurting out of movie names
in the wrong spot during the game
is it only happens to people who have played the game before.
Like, it never happens to someone it's their first time out here.
Like, Chris Hardwick just blurted out a title a few weeks ago.
Just yelled it out like, I know what it is, bitches.
And just said it, and he even threw his mic down.
You're so excited.
I'm like a puppy, and you put out the food,
and then you go, but don't eat it.
Wait for him to tell you to eat it.
And I go, no, I'm going to put my face in it.
And now we're in the backyard, and you're about to put me down.
Don't. I'll do better.
You know why he's putting you down?
Because your puppy's so aggressive.
I'm going to put my face in it.
It's a crazy dog.
You've got to shoot old Yeller
When he starts saying things like that
He'll go through a plate glass window
Like a horse
That was a good callback
It was a deep callback
Deep sidebar
I can't wait to get in the editing room
It's been fun Listen, I don't like me either I can't wait to get in the editing room It's been fun
Listen, I don't like me either
I don't
Don't say that
Why do you get so personal all of a sudden?
My next movie interruption in Los Angeles
Will be at CineFamily
Where it always is
On February 22nd
And we'll be interrupting
Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1.
That's so exciting.
There's a lot of room
to move around in that movie
if you've seen it. If you haven't seen it, wait.
Come on February 22nd.
Thank you once again to
Pete Holmes, TJ Miller, and Ty West.
Thank you.
Check out Innkeepers
Innkeepers
And all the stuff
These other guys do
And as always
Gary Marshall
Is a shithead
And Tim Tebow
Is a shithead
Yeah
Denver
Forsaken
There's no room
In his heart
For you Cause Doug Loves Movies If you and Cal was made to coggy, there's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!