Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Rory Scovel, and Matt Braunger Guest

Episode Date: January 28, 2014

Doug welcomes comics T.J. Miller, Rory Scovel, and Matt Braunger to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-...sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, Silly secrets, if he has a pop-up Or kernels in his teeth, there's still not more That he won't sleep of Doug Loves Movies Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from the UCB Theater on Tuesday, January 28th, 2014 Wolf of Wall Street Fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
Starting point is 00:00:45 From the corrections department in the Build a Title game from last Saturday's show in Sweet Home San Diego. I should have accepted Oklahoma should do about nothing. Apologies to Brian Redman and apologies to Put Your Hands Together
Starting point is 00:01:07 Please welcome You guys ready back there? Okay Please welcome Rory Scovel, Matt Bronger And TJ Miller Guys, it's so great to see you. Thank you. It's great to see you eventually.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Oh, my goodness. Oh, God. I know. I have a beard, but you guys are... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You guys really did. Matt, use your microphone voice. Sorry. Beards kiss.
Starting point is 00:02:02 He kept saying beards kiss. And what's your problem, TJ? The second we came out here Rory and Matt kind of like tenderly embraced and kissed For everyone listening, that's not true What? We sat down like professional gentlemen
Starting point is 00:02:18 and we were preparing to compete in a movie competition For everyone listening, that's the weirdest lie a human being can start out by saying. Which is that the other two panelists kissed and tenderly hugged. But Rory, you've called me out of screw.
Starting point is 00:02:34 That's what we're saying. It was all bullshit. It was going to be a larger chess game like House of Cards, but at the end of it, that billionaire is in his heavyset. We'll be right back with more of Beard Science.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Beard Science. A panel show with beards and science. What is happening with pop culture that we all have beards? Because all four of us have beards. Matt looks the best. No. No offense, Rory. No offense, because your beard looks great. Did you include yourself in the Matt looks the best?
Starting point is 00:03:06 Yes. Or was it just down to the two of us? Buddy, look at me. I look like Jesus got in a really bad breakup eight months ago. I look like a guy who's like, hey, you want to smoke weed? And you're like, yeah. He's like, cool, you got any? Don't come at me with that one.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Your hair matches your beard perfectly. It's beautiful. You also wear a beard very well. Why is everybody wearing beards now? I'm shaving mine off tomorrow. You are, really? Yeah. I think that's why it looks the best.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Because it's at its peak and it's about to leave. Oh, it knows it's on the way out. I think it's because it looks distinguished. Oh, yeah. You have to have a beard that looks like who you are. Rory, I think yours is a little unruly, but meticulous. Every moment, every hair on your head. My beard is that shittiest of beard that's well trimmed,
Starting point is 00:03:49 so I look like that asshole from Die Hard that's like, Hans, boobie, I'm your white knight. I'm that guy. I'm that guy that gets shot, does a bunch of coke and gets shot. That's his life. That's a good beard. That's a great beard description. Also an excellent epitaph. Did a bunch of coke and died. It get shot. That's his life. That's a good beard. That's a great beard description. Also an excellent epitaph. Did a bunch
Starting point is 00:04:07 of coke and died. That's his life. Oh, a shot. Sorry. I just saw him today and he plays the asshole dad of the girl that's mean to Carrie in the Carrie remake. Oh, he's still working? His name is Hart Bachner. So for the prize
Starting point is 00:04:23 bag... Doug wins. He. So for the prize bag, Doug wins. He won. For the prize bag, I brought a copy of Gateway Doug, of course, and a t-shirt from a thing called what's it called? Budcast.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Yeah, Budcast Podcast, so I assume that's about marijuana. And I got a Douglas Booth T-shirt. T.J. Miller is here, ladies and gentlemen. Hello, everyone. Thank you for having me. I apologize in advance for the abrasive nature of my comedy. And what'd you bring for the prize bag? I brought my passport holder.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Okay, let's get that in there. Toss it right into the prize bag right in front of everybody make sure you take your passport out first there you go don't there's a lot there's a lot more than just your passport your driver's license and your receipts too it seems more like it wouldn't some people call that your wallet i get it doug you guys you fucking fancy schmancy assholes have wallets and passport holders. Well, welcome to the fucking real world! Where all you have is a
Starting point is 00:05:32 passport holder that was given to you by a woman that broke your heart. Put it in the bag, badass motherfucker. But really, you had broken hers, and you had broken your own before you even met. There you go. So it's cursed. Enjoy. Whoever wins before you even met. There you go. So it's cursed.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Enjoy. Whoever wins that one, enjoy. It's cursed. Instant heartache. That's Matt Bronger, everybody. Yay. Thank you. Thank y'all.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Oh, this is nice. I like the way it feels. Well, then why don't you take it and give them something of your own? I did give them some. Well, Anyway. Matt, do you have anything for the prize bag? Yeah. I brought a white vinyl copy of Shovel Fighter. Shut the fuck up! Look at this.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Look at that. Look at that guy in a white linen suit. I would fuck that till I died. Thanks, T.H. He's sitting right next to you. I mean, where did you shoot that? How did you find so much foliage?
Starting point is 00:06:31 Griffith Park. Griffith Park. Really? Uh-huh. Jesus God. It's just based on those 70s albums where there's a guy in a pristine suit in the middle of the woods.
Starting point is 00:06:39 And you're like, how did you get there? Were you airlifted in? How is your suit undusty? Those albums were based on that picture. It's amazing. Rory Scovel, what do you have for the prize bag? All right. The great Rory Scovel. I forgot to bring something,
Starting point is 00:06:58 but remembered that I have $15 left on this Apple card. That's a good prize. that I have $15 left on this Apple card. That's a good prize. So get in the Apple and start fitting in with the other people. Listen, hey, I don't want to obviously talk about this right now, but... If you're trying to tell secrets, don't say it in the mic.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Listen, I didn't realize that Rory didn't bring anything, so I also hadn't brought anything. So I gave the passport holder. Actually, my grandmother gave me that when she was dying. As she died, she handed me that passport holder. So I was wondering if I could trade it. Are you trying to say that you would like to have the vinyl copy of Shovel Fighter?
Starting point is 00:07:40 You motherfucker! Because I'll give you that, but the passport thing's staying in the bag as punishment. See this bow tie? This was given to me by my grandfather as he died. He was a real piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:07:55 What are you trying to say? You're going to give that instead of the passport? Okay. I'll trade that. You know what? I actually trade that. You know what? I actually got that Apple card from a friend. We were holding on to each other like in Cliffhanger. And when he slipped, he had actually passed me that card. As he fell.
Starting point is 00:08:22 And I should think about this. Rory, the question is, do you have a bow tie? Give him your V-neck sweater. Shit. Doug, that's actually a Bob Seger album. That's not even me. Signed. I feel like an asshole. A signed, sealed, and delivered Bob Seger album that
Starting point is 00:08:42 had been just cropped a little bit on all sides to be able to fit into the cover. I taped a picture of my face on his body. It was expensive. So the winner tonight can enjoy a Budcast t-shirt. Everybody is taking back their prizes. So I kind of assumed that that would take a while, what we just did.
Starting point is 00:09:04 That portion of the show. And so I've got right here on this piece of paper, let the games begin. Let's play some games. Let's do it. Yeah. One game in particular, the Leonard Mulde game. And if there's time at the end, we'll play another game or something. We should build a title.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Let's check out the name. There's such massive name tags over here that they're blocking the rest of the audience. That's good defense. Lauren the Pooh. That's good poster defense. Jason Needs Moms. That's kind of a pervy title.
Starting point is 00:09:38 I'd be likey. All right. While those guys pick the name tags, we're going to take this quick commercial break. We'll be right back. And we're back. Who are you playing for, TJ? The State of the Union.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Yep, and later on I'll tell you who he thinks the biggest shithead is. So, Ryan, go ahead and put a bleep on that, what he just said. We'll hear it for the first time at the end. It'll be fun. I'm playing for the State of the Union. And later on, we'll tell you, if they win, who they think the world's biggest shithead is. Don't tell them.
Starting point is 00:10:30 So this is for the State of the Union. Or as I call them, S-O-T-U. So many bleeps. Wait till you hear his shithead. All right, so his name's Some Random Dude. I'll just put this down here. Can't believe you blew it. Can't believe you blew it.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Oh, my God. I've been looking for my Vine app all this time. I can't even. I can't concentrate. All right, so that's who TJ's playing for. Who are you playing for, Matt? So I can say this part, but not the back, yeah? Yeah. Okay, I'm playing for, hello, my name is Erica Montoya?
Starting point is 00:11:18 I think it's supposed to be, okay. You killed my father, prepare to die. What? It's an ego, not an American. It's an ego, you're right. Thank you. You to die. What? It's Inigo. It's Inigo. You're right. Thank you. I just knew it was a dude. Which we're not sure about with you. Look at those cuffs.
Starting point is 00:11:36 You cuffing up your jeans? Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Roy, who are you playing for? I am playing for Stan by me. Stan by me. Oh my god, that's a diorama.
Starting point is 00:11:50 That's a fucking... Have you ever seen a diorama? They've done dioramas. That's an explosive diorama. Like diarrhea. Bob Seger of Machine Gun Diarrhea Jokes. Is that really the first diorama you've ever seen?
Starting point is 00:12:11 This fell out of your thing, TJ. It's a note to yourself, I guess. And it says, get rid of cursed grandpa necktie. Do you know anything about, can you explain that? Do we have a cursed necktie. Do you know anything about... Can you explain that? Do we have a cursed necktie in this bag that we're going to force upon an innocent... Why is all your stuff cursed, man? What do you mean, cursed?
Starting point is 00:12:37 I was in Yogi Bear 3D. I still got to go back. I want to be a Yogi Bear completist. gotta go back I wanna be a Yogi Bear completist I go back and see 1 and 2 and then 3D 2D isn't that great 1D's awesome the final chapter
Starting point is 00:12:56 without seeing the penultimate episode of the greatest trilogy of talking bear comedy that's ever existed hang on I just got two texts from Rory. The first one says, at back door. And the second one says, locked. I think
Starting point is 00:13:14 he was saying, do you want to come play Foursquare? And kind of baiting you into it. And when you got out there, he'd be like, sorry, you can't play Foursquare with us. This game's locked. What I was trying to say was, Doug, if you're trying to fuck me in the butt, no thank you. Had nothing to do with this show tonight
Starting point is 00:13:32 or this venue. It's locked. My ass is locked. Yeah. Locked. That's how you say it. Yeah. To someone who wants to fuck you in the bottom.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Say it's locked. That's the best way. I have a locked butt. Just a sassy little gay boy turning around going, come on in, bottom. Say it's locked. That's the best way. I have a locked butt. Just a sassy little gay boy turning around going, come on in, but sorry, it's locked. Then why'd you say come on in?
Starting point is 00:13:51 Well, because the front... Because I was hoping you were a vampire. Because the screen door is open, but the real door is locked. That's right. I'm wearing underwear made of... It's a veil. Guys, I gotta...
Starting point is 00:14:04 I can't be here all the time. Sit normal and talk your own voice. Yeah, in a gay accent. Talk your own voice. Let's play a Leonard Maltin game. If you say so. Yeah. That's an idea I had.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Okay. I think it'll be fun. Trying to decide who should start us off here tonight. I'd say Matt's probably like the most wins under his belt maybe.
Starting point is 00:14:39 By accident. Best beard that's about to be shaved. Yes. So let's start with Matt, then let's go to Rory, and that's T.J. will go third. For State of the Union. Just to kind of plan for the State of the Union. T.J.! Just kind of in hopes that
Starting point is 00:14:55 if we start over there, those guys will get to talk a little bit. I really want Rory to get in the game tonight. He's just kind of hanging out over there. Yeah. I don't play by the rules, Doug. Can't wrangle me in. Stop leaning back in your chair.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Terrified the whole rest of the show. Four names. I can the show. Four names. I can do it in four names. Matt, as suggested by at Matt Picasso on Twitter,
Starting point is 00:15:35 you're the dog now, man. And that's movies where a person turns into an animal. Ah. Or Rich Ridland suggested Downtown Abbey. Downtown Abbey. And that's a movie where a woman an animal. Or Rich Ridland suggested Downtown Abbey. Downtown Abbey. And that's a movie where a woman gets
Starting point is 00:15:49 oral sex. Oh, hang on. Hang on. We ran out of those because it doesn't happen very often. There's like two. There's just a few, yeah. At Brian Just Band suggested Walter Mitty. This is a favorite of mine. Walter Mitty. And that, a few, yeah. At Brian Just Band suggested Walter Mitty.
Starting point is 00:16:06 This is a favorite of mine, Walter Mitty. And that, of course, is movies where Walter Matthau wears mittens. That's good. And N.W. Trout suggested the notorious B.I.G. And that, of course, is movies with the word big
Starting point is 00:16:23 in the title. There's more than you'd think think unless you think there are a lot i think there are infinite amounts uh i'm gonna go uh you're the uh dog now man all right this is movies where a person turns into an animal and uh your year options are would you like a movies where a person turns into an animal, and your year options are, would you like a movie where a person turns into an animal from 85 or 2006? Let's go 85. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Deep. Deep cuts. Three stars from Leonard. No. From this movie that he calls Overlong. Not a great clue because he says that about movie that he calls Overlong. Not a great clue because he says that about anything that's over 95 minutes.
Starting point is 00:17:10 But generally entertaining, he says. And he says the movie has thunderous music. Just thunderous. And he lists a whopping seven names.
Starting point is 00:17:28 How many names do you think you can get it in? Person turns into an animal. Oh. I'm gonna go none. Zero names? Yeah. You think you know
Starting point is 00:17:43 what movie it is already? I'm gonna roll the fucking dice, man. Oh, the dice man. Oh! I think it's this. She blew me. I say zero! Hickory, hickory, hickory, cock!
Starting point is 00:17:59 Misogyny! Ha ha! Oh! What do you think there, Roy? Can you go negative names? Do you think you know the motion picture that we're talking about? I think
Starting point is 00:18:12 that I do. You've got a I think you have a chia chin. I think that I do know it. It's very chia style, your beard. I don't know it. I honestly...
Starting point is 00:18:26 So just say to Matt, name it, hope he's gonna get this wrong. He's more than likely gonna get it right. You think? You confident in him? Matt, why don't you
Starting point is 00:18:34 name that motherfucker, bro? If you... If you wanna go negative names, I'll go deeper. If you wanna open that hole, I'll... I'll find my way in as long as it's unlocked.
Starting point is 00:18:47 This is unorthodox. I'm just saying. I think Rory already made up his mind. Okay, go ahead. And Matt is going to say the name of this movie right now and blow everyone away. Teen Wolf? Point to Rory.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Can I say something? I was gonna say Teen Wolf. 1985. That was Back to the Future. That was B-T-T-F. That was B-T-T-F. This special picture is called Lady Hawk.
Starting point is 00:19:24 It featured Michelle Pfeiffer as a lady who would That was B-T-T-F. This poster picture is called Lady Hawk. Oh, shit. And it featured Michelle Pfeiffer as a lady who would turn into a hawk. And Rutger Hauer as a man
Starting point is 00:19:32 who would turn into a wolf. And they couldn't bone because animals that are different animals can't bone. I used to love sitting around
Starting point is 00:19:38 every Christmas. Are there scenes of them dropping? Yeah. Every Christmas we'd gather around and watch Lady Hawk together. That was just such a...
Starting point is 00:19:45 Michelle Pfeiffer, that's her best role. That's sort of a family thing. We'll do it on fucking Halloween or Labor Day. We don't give a fuck. We'll do it on fucking Memorial Day. We'll do it on President's Day. You get to pick a category, TJ.
Starting point is 00:20:02 And then we will go to Rory. Ladyhawk. At Internet Mayor suggested Two Timing Bitch. And that's dog movies that have a sequel. Dog movie sequels.
Starting point is 00:20:21 That's good. That's solid. At Serve Crow suggested The Kurt Locker. The Kurt Locker. that's good that's solid at serve crow suggested the kurt locker the kurt locker and that's kurt russell movies
Starting point is 00:20:32 that leonard gave the bomb designation to there's only three in his in his storied career and
Starting point is 00:20:41 i'll take that one all right i'll tell you the third one you can change your but I'm not gonna listen to it I'm gonna hum the theme song
Starting point is 00:20:48 to your show at Snitty Snitty suggested Pineapple Express and that's motion pictures
Starting point is 00:20:57 where someone Doug loves movies throws fruit someone throwing fruit TJ I think he has to pay for that now alright sorry throws fruit. Someone throwing fruit.
Starting point is 00:21:08 TJ, I think he has to pay for that now. So, you just cost Doug like 10 grand. Probably 10 grand. I do charge a lot for the licensing of that song. That's a popular one. DJ Chazzy I want to live in Matt Bronner's beard. It's the only safe place.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Which one do you want to do, Kurt? I'll do the Kurt Russell one, yeah. I didn't hear the last one. You can read it again if you want to. You probably better go with that. This is a Kurt Russell movie from 2001 that Leonard says is a bomb. He says this movie has a potentially clever idea
Starting point is 00:21:51 that degenerates into an overlong. What year? 2001. Got it. Overlong, bloody, boar. B-O-A-R or B-O-R-E? Awful, bloody, boar. B-O-A-R or B-O-R-E? Awful, bloody, boar. And is it B-O-R-E or B-O-A-R?
Starting point is 00:22:11 B-O-R-E. I can't understand a word you're saying, but I know you're saying it. Okay. Boar. Got it. Any lists? 13 names. How many think you could get in?
Starting point is 00:22:26 I don't know what that voice was. 13. I like it. Rory? I'm going to go with 12 names. Fuck!
Starting point is 00:22:47 Fuck! God damn it! Make the move you're supposed to make. You knocked over the diorama. Make the move you're supposed to make. You don't leave anything to chance. make. You don't leave anything to chance. He's the Bobby
Starting point is 00:23:10 Fisher of the Leonard Maltin game. Just when you think you got him. Nope. Matt. I'll do five names. I'll jump down a little bit. I think I might know what it is. Listen to yourself and your instinct.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Every decision is a medium between rationality and instinct. Use your instinct in perfect balance with your rationality. Don't make the wrong move.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Don't make the wrong move. Don't make the wrong move. I won't break you. I'm on tour in February. DJ Miller just on FOSA.com. Four names. Four names, he says,
Starting point is 00:24:04 ladies and gentlemen. That's exciting. Rory? Names. No, no, no, no. Name it. Name it. I thought you were going to say nine names.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Nine. You can't go up. A hundred names. All of the names. Crew, I want to know everybody. Every name there is. 9,000 names. All of the names. Screw, I want to know everybody. Every name there is. 9,000 names. You bring this on yourself,
Starting point is 00:24:32 TJ. You're about to lose not only the point, but the game, because Rory is going to get the point if you can't name this movie. Am I, Doug? Yeah. That's what I think is about to happen. Well, why don't you go ahead and read me
Starting point is 00:24:47 the year of the film and the description, and I'll tell you exactly what that movie was. Rory, Scoville, and Matt. You're about to drink from a can that's been crushed like it's empty. Quiet, Doug, and read! Oh, Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Sorry, everybody. You don't even want to know what happened over here. Listeners, we're not even ever going to tell you what happened. You'll just have to wonder forever what just happened. I didn't see, but I think Rory took a real fizzy piss. I think he peed fizzy on the ground. I'm so shocked. There's an attack.
Starting point is 00:25:23 It's creeping towards you. It's heading right towards her In a way this is This is a moment for you to drink alcohol In a way that you never have or could again You get in this chair This is the right thing This is the right thing
Starting point is 00:25:39 No they don't need to see I didn't want them here No get in that chair. I deserve this. Very graceful. Yeah, you deserve to be in a land of no chairs. You can sit on my leg. It's not a big deal.
Starting point is 00:25:55 No, this feels more confident as a posture. 3,000 miles. No chair land. I'll use half of it. I'm not taking the whole thing. That's elegant. That's graceful. That's grace landful.
Starting point is 00:26:16 This is the physicality of this game going 19 days. Has this game ever gone this fast? It's going to be over. So that's why I'm letting everybody drag this out. I'll read the clues again, TJ. Leonard says it's a bomb. I am so sorry, you guys. In a way, I feel like I am this movie.
Starting point is 00:26:40 It was about the time I realized I was such a failure. Kurt Russell's in this. It's one of the three bombs in his career. Trust me, listen, I've had a lot of problems in my life. A lot of problems. You understand? A lot of problems. Potentially clever ID, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think. Degenerates. You've had a lot of problems. Into an overlong. It just goes, yeah, it goes on. Bloody. Yep.
Starting point is 00:27:01 And bloody awful. You think you're so powerful and then you just feel so little. I guess my guess is And your four names are Paul Anka What? Paul Anka
Starting point is 00:27:17 David Kaye Hang on, it gets better. You ready? Ice T and Bokeem Woodbine banner. That's a banner ad. Hang on. It gets better. You ready? Ice tea. And Bokeem Woodbine. Are your four names that were in this movie. Bokeem, you foiled me again. Now, look, I've had
Starting point is 00:27:36 a lot of problems this whole show. I thought there were going to be little problems, big deal, but I did. I had some problems I thought got out of hand. I also think I thought I out of hand and I also think I thought I was really powerful I was coming to power
Starting point is 00:27:47 in the whole game and I ended up feeling much smaller than I thought I really was so I guess my guess is I'm big trouble
Starting point is 00:27:55 in little China come on I'm terrible that game I know in your head you were so excited that you were gonna say it that way
Starting point is 00:28:05 and then be correct. No, I wasn't. That's a good movie, that Big Trouble. It is a great movie, but I think I just did my answer was Leonard Maltin would have given the same review to my answer in performance just then. 3,000 Miles to Graceland.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Motherfucker! All words that I said repeatedly right next to you over and over again while Rory was fucking around with that chair. Yeah, but you were like, let's 3,000,
Starting point is 00:28:31 let's smoke 3,000 joints after this. Come on, there's a Graceland ahead of us. In Graceland. Yeah, exactly. You're like, Miles, we'll get Miles high.
Starting point is 00:28:40 That was really fun. I really enjoyed doing that, but also that means that Rory is our winner. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah, you did it, Rory. Fuck yes. Give me my chair!
Starting point is 00:28:56 Thank you. So who are you playing for again? I'm playing for Stan. Stan? Stan by me. Come on, Stan. I just pointed at the wrong guy. Me and another guy had an emotional moment. Come get your. Stan? Stan, buy me. Come on, Stan. I just pointed at the wrong guy. Me and another guy had an emotional moment.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Come get your prize back, Stan. Congratulations. Pleasure. Yeah, he's taking the name tag back because when you have something that works, why would you... It's probably covered in beer, though, Stan. Sorry about that.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Yeah, ring it out. And Matt, could you pass me your name tag? Yes, Stan. It's probably got a shit in on the back, I about that. Yeah, ring it out. And Matt, could you pass me your name tag? Yes, Dan. Probably got a shit in on the back, I'm guessing. TJ, settle down. TJ, we know yours. Okay. Try not to think about it because
Starting point is 00:29:46 now that we've got a little extra time we're gonna play a bonus game right this has never happened fuck yes fuck we're not fucking around it is bonus game time
Starting point is 00:30:02 it's a game I like to call the Seth Rogen game, a.k.a. Last Man Stanton. Always gets very polite golf applause. Because it is a fun game to play. Have you guys played on car trips or anything? Super fun. Everyone's like, nope.
Starting point is 00:30:26 It's really fun. Nope, we walked here. So what we're going to do, gentlemen, is since Rory won that whole shebang, we'll let him go first, and then we'll go to Matt, and then we'll go to TJ, because I want to continually punish him
Starting point is 00:30:41 for his behavior. Do you want another beer, buddy? Yeah, go grab another beer real quick. Just while I'm describing the rules of how this works. I'm good, thank you. I got water, I'm good on the water. Perfect, so everybody's fine. But if we just say out loud,
Starting point is 00:30:58 TJ needs another beer, one will come flying in. Really? Yeah, well hopefully not flying in. It's not true, really? Yeah, I think it'll happen. I have faith. R, hopefully not flying in. It's not true, really? Yeah, I think it'll happen. I don't believe in such magic. I have faith. If we let you leave the stage... Rory wants a thousand dollars.
Starting point is 00:31:11 And here it is. I don't know. Matt wants a gingerbread house. Also, this genie thinks that everything is above light. Why does Rory affect that weird voice when he's... It's who I really am!
Starting point is 00:31:26 When I want money! Oh, two. That's not a good idea. Oh, one for each of them. And water for Mr. Bronger. I mean, this is pretty much water. Dad joke! Dad joke!
Starting point is 00:31:39 Dad joke! Sex in a sailboat. Fucking too close to water. Remember that? I do not? I do not I do not I am sorry I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:31:48 I'm very sorry You can never be too close to water When making love You can fly too close to the sun though Icarus knew that didn't he? We're gonna get the name Those wings will become candles Faster than you can snap your wax fingers
Starting point is 00:32:03 Thanks buddy We're gonna get a name From somebody in the audience of an actor or an actress or a director with a large body of work, a lot of films, that all four of us, I'm going to play two, are going to take turns naming movies that that person was involved with, involved in. Oh. Oh. Yeah. And it's harder than you'd think. I know, I lost this game before. That was such an incredible noise to make, ever.
Starting point is 00:32:35 Just, how? Because that's how I felt, but I didn't know how to vocalize it. And then in a moment's notice, my mind was like, what could, how, what do you, and we're always like, how? Iize it. And then in a moment I just noticed my mind was like what could how would it and I was like oh. I love it. Right now you look like you cry glitter.
Starting point is 00:32:53 I do. Whenever I come home my wife is like you've been at the strip club you've got glitter all over your face and I say bitch you'll never find out
Starting point is 00:33:01 I was watching a sad movie. I was I was at a unicorn field that you'll never find a location of. Whoa. Guys. Who throws money? Is it a thousand dollars? It's only
Starting point is 00:33:15 a dollar. Guys, but he's about to throw $8,999 more rare buds. All rubber banded to a baseball. Don't. Towards your head. Don't. This was the best delivery?
Starting point is 00:33:28 A goddamn stealth bomber? Oh, you need a dollar? There's one! In your face! Do not fucking throw a gingerbread house at my head. Please don't. As much as you want one. I can't have that happen again in my life. Once is enough.
Starting point is 00:33:46 That's how I got this scar. Uh-oh. Oh, Jesus. TJ's dropping money like he's going to the champagne room. That was the original thing I was going to give out. And you switched it to the cursed tie?
Starting point is 00:34:06 The curse. Stan, are you still with us? Okay, good. All right, so where's some random dude at? Where's the some random dude sign at? Since he blew out your... He's behind you. He's got a visor on.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Oh, hey, dude. Hey, dude. Have we done Will Ferrell yet? I don't think so. Have yet? I don't think so. Have we? I don't think so. So we're going to do it tonight. It's a good one.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Oh, God. Will Ferrell movies. Holy shit. Wow. Rory, go. Name any Will Ferrell movie. Anchorman. Good one
Starting point is 00:34:45 Thank you But we're going to need the full title You need full title? The Anchorman? There's a colon I just keep Colon Jesus Christ, can I switch?
Starting point is 00:35:03 No I'm going to give you this one Okay Oh, Jesus Christ. Can I switch? No. I'm going to give you this one. Okay. Because you stepped into it. Because you would have said a different movie if you knew that you had to say the whole title. Thank you. The Legend of Ron Burgundy.
Starting point is 00:35:19 No. Well, Doug's out. Doug's out. Doug's out. Matt, your turn. Even if he was out, I would go TJ. It wasn't even my turn. Matt, what do you got?
Starting point is 00:35:34 Night at the Roxbury. Yeah. TJ? Everything Must Go. Good one. That's very nice. Oh, is I supposed to name a movie? Did we give you Sleepy Time beer?
Starting point is 00:35:56 That's solid. No, I can't try. I'm going to go with my personal favorite, Blades of Glory. Really? Blades of Glory. Really? Blades of Glory, yeah, I love that movie for some reason. Really, really, really? I love it, yeah. Why?
Starting point is 00:36:08 I don't know why. It's a strange thing. Everything about it makes me laugh. Sorry. Rory? Kanye West loved it. Talladega Nights. Full title, please.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Son of a bitch! You keep stepping in a bear trap I walked into it I walked right into it Let me give you a clue It's not The legend of anyone The story Story
Starting point is 00:36:43 The story... Story? The story... of Will Ferrell's character. Is it the Ricky Bobby story? Or the story of Ricky Bobby? The life in times of Richard Bobbitt? Richard William Bobbitt, the Rick, the Rickards Bobbitt story
Starting point is 00:37:09 of the life. Got it. Got it. And it's confirmed. I think it's all in there. It's the, what is it? The ballad of Ricky Bobby? The ballad! Die! Fucking. It doesn't matter. The ballad wasn't even as good as any of the ones that you did.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Right? God damn it. I'm going to give it to him, though, because that was so much fun. That was good. Points! I love the ballad of Richard Bobby. Bobbit. Bobbit.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Bobbit. The life. The life. That's the life at the end. Comma, the life. What do you gotbit. The life. The life. The life at the end. Comma the life. What do you got, Matt? Step Brothers. Yes. Great movie.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Nice. TJJ. Haven't you been in a movie with Will Ferrell? The Goods. Full title. Full title? TJ, you were in that movie. Listen, Matt, it's time for you to know no one likes me.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Do you know the movie I was in? It's called Chinese Stories Book 3. Look it up. Really? I know the whole title, yeah. Wait, you were in a movie called? Asian Stories, book three. So you didn't know.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Yeah. You said Chinese Stories. Same thing. It's just more specific. Just a classic I've been in movies conversation. Buy hard and sell hard.
Starting point is 00:38:43 You didn't want to be in that movie. The goods. The goods. Buy hard and sell hard. I'll take buy hard and sell hard. You didn't want to be in that movie. The goods. Buy hard, sell hard. I'll take buy hard and sell hard. It's not right though, right? Live hard, sell hard. You know, each of you gets one gimme when it comes to
Starting point is 00:38:58 the rest of the title after the colon. I don't know if there are anymore. This game is unforgiving. I'm going to say Elf. Go on. Rory? Stranger than Fiction.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Nice. The story of a salesman that was written about. Nice. Alright, Matt. Austin Powers, Man of Mystery. Nice. All right, Matt. Austin Powers, Man of Mystery. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:39:30 That's sneaky. What do you got there, TJ? Zoolander. Yeah, I do. That would gateway you to that. That was a good one. Fair enough. That's a pretty clever move.
Starting point is 00:39:45 I'm going to go with my second favorite of all of Will Ferrell's work, and that's called Old School. Yeah. Love that movie when he gets that tranquilizer dart in the neck. God damn it. Rory. Casa de Mi Padre. Yeah. I'm glad you said it because I wouldn't remember that. Casa de Mi Padre. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Oh, I'm glad you said it because I wouldn't remember that. That's a true one. Oh, I just thought of another one. Matt. Wedding Crashers. That's the one I thought of. Why didn't we both think of that right there?
Starting point is 00:40:23 Superstar. Yeah. Wow, breakneck face. Can he do it? Melinda and Melinda. Yeah. Whoa. Woo.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Oh, shit. Rory. Starsky and Hutch. Nice. Nicely done. Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Bewitched. Pulled that right out of my ass.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Like a magic trick from Bewitched. TJ? Oh, God. Is this the one where he gets hit in the dick with the soccer ball? That should count. Hashtag Team TJ. Hold on, no, no, it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:41:11 But you all know what I'm saying. Three seconds. It hits a ball. Two. It hit his dick. One. It's on a soccer field. It's called...
Starting point is 00:41:19 Dick Soccer Field Balls. You're out. Kicking and screaming. Rory? The other guys. Oh, good one. The other guys. Matt? Shit.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Shit. Anchorman 2. Full title. That's my freebie. Oh, thatorman 2. Full title. That's my freebie. Oh, that's right. That's right. You did that right. The legend of his burgundy boner.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Good freebie play. That got an applause break. Your freebie play got a little respect from the crowd. Anchorman 2 mustache bonanza. Mustache bonanza. It was actually The Legend Continues? Was that all it was?
Starting point is 00:42:15 Yeah, right. It was also live, hard sell, how to train you, whatever. Kicking and everything must go. Whatever. He's screaming. Alright, so shit. I am fucked.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Because I can't... Oh, man. Oh, Lord. He popped in on more than one movie where he just shows up for a while at the end. I'm going to take a wild guess and see if it plays
Starting point is 00:42:46 out in my favor and say The Internship. He shows up in it? Yes! Wow. Bald. Blind tiger. Doug Benson. At the last second.
Starting point is 00:43:06 What have you got, buddy? I'm trying to see if I can somehow do the same math. All of a sudden I'm like, alright. What has Vince Vaughn done recently? I'm gonna go total shot in the dark because it seems like
Starting point is 00:43:28 it would work walk hard oh the full title of course I know I know I wish I had a
Starting point is 00:43:38 Freibsters I can't believe some of the audience is like full title Dewey fucking assholes yeah somebody said it very like audience is like, full title. Dewey. Fucking assholes. Yeah, somebody said it very villainous. Full title.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Full title. Full title. Burp, burp, burp, burp. Kneel Before Zod, full title. All right, so you're out, Rory. Wait, is he not in there? Can you say it? I don't even know if he's in it.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Walk Hard, The Dewey Cox story. Yeah. Great job. You did it. Is he in it? Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Is he in it? You're still in it. I don't think he's in it, though. Oh, fuck. I just want to say, I'm serious. That was one of the greatest moments of performance art I've ever seen in my life. A man being like, yes, I fucking did it in the entire audience. He's like, yeah!
Starting point is 00:44:27 And then Doug's like, no, he didn't. And you're like, yeah, he did it. And he's like, well, thank you very much. What poise. What grace. I love it. God! Why do these have to be games? Why can't they just be playing about? Oh, fuck. Why must
Starting point is 00:44:43 there be winners and losers. Why wasn't he in that? Yeah, because he lost. What do you got, Matt? I got it, and I can't remember the goddamn name. Oh, shit. Don't say walk hard. It's kicking and screaming.
Starting point is 00:44:58 No, it's not. Oh, describe it to us. It's the basketball one. Oh, right. I want to say. Settle, settle, settle. Settle. Settle! Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Shut your mouths. Shut your mouths. Shut your mouths. Shut your mouths. Don't rile Rory up. Don't rile me. Do not rile me. Ah!
Starting point is 00:45:23 Fuck. Semi-pro? Yeah! Oh, God. Oh! It's so much pleasure. I wish I had champagne. I wish I had champagne.
Starting point is 00:45:50 was Will Ferrell a voice wait does that count yes it fucking does was he a voice in Mastermind yes he was Brad Pitt and Will Ferrell
Starting point is 00:46:04 right a full title wrong name oh that's the wrong Yes. He was. Brad Pitt and Will Ferrell, right? A full title? Oh, that's the wrong title, they say. This side says wrong title. Doug, full title, please. No, it's wrong title. I'm getting the title wrong. Yeah, hey, here's a good way to... The make of mine is the answer.
Starting point is 00:46:23 You piece of shit. Here's a great way to end the podcast. Matt wouldn't have thought of that. You would have. Come on. And I got it wrong, so Matt is our winner. Hey! He must have been a voice in some other cartoon too, right?
Starting point is 00:46:43 Mastermind. Gordon, here's a who. God damn it, I thought of that one for a second. He's in the Lego movie that's coming out too. Curious George. The producer. Jesus. Did you say Jesus Christ?
Starting point is 00:46:53 Wait, did he say we were really off by 2,000 movies? Jesus. That guy said usually a handful. It's usually like 10 movies we can't think of. He said Curious George. I'm pretty sure it's Curious. That guy had Curious George bottled up inside of himself for so long. All day he's like, if anyone ever asks anything about it,
Starting point is 00:47:13 I'll yell it as hard as my heart desires. And then we didn't say it. And then he's like, Curious George! There's no wonder about whether or not you occupy my heart. Got any plugs, TJ? I'm doing a national tour in February. TJ Miller does not have a website.com. www.tjmillerdoesnothaveawebsite.com
Starting point is 00:47:39 for dates. It's all over the United States. What fun. Why not get together? Matt Brogger. Talk about how upset you were about my performance on this show. You're like the Philip Lugster. Go, Matt.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Oh, when does this come out? Now. Now. Okay. Saturday, February 1st, Dana Gould and I are taking our Bukkake of Smiles tour to the Sketch Fest in San Francisco. Oh, that's why you're going to shave tomorrow? Yeah, because I got bukkake.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Of smiles! Rory? I'm going to be in New York City at Subculture Theater February 8, 9, 10, and 11 to prepare to shoot a special in Charleston, South Carolina February 21st and 22nd, 2014.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Go! Go! I don't know why I'm posed like this. And then try to come to my dad's office for birthday cake day. Where's your dad's office? Charleston, South Carolina, February 21st and 22nd. Are you doing your special in your father's office? It's expensive to rent places.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Douglovesmovies.com for dates, deets, and links. And Rory, can you come back as our winner? Can you come back
Starting point is 00:48:54 and compete again next week? Next Tuesday? Yes. He's back, ladies and gentlemen. We'll have Rory. Rory Scoble will be back.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Thanks again to T.J. Miller and Matt Bronger. And as always, the s*** is a shithead. And so is some random guy. And I don't know where this comes from, but I'm going to say it. Tom Hanks is a shithead.
Starting point is 00:49:21 That is not true. Now it's time we're done to watch another talk. He hides above his view and prowess makes him foggy. head. That is not true.

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