Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Rory Scovel, and Matt Braunger Guest
Episode Date: January 28, 2014Doug welcomes comics T.J. Miller, Rory Scovel, and Matt Braunger to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-...sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies,
Silly secrets, if he has a pop-up
Or kernels in his teeth, there's still not more
That he won't sleep of Doug Loves Movies
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you from the UCB Theater on Tuesday, January 28th,
2014 Wolf of Wall Street Fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
From the corrections department
in the Build a Title game
from last Saturday's show
in Sweet Home San Diego.
I should have accepted
Oklahoma should do about nothing.
Apologies to Brian Redman
and apologies to Put Your Hands Together
Please welcome
You guys ready back there?
Okay
Please welcome
Rory Scovel, Matt Bronger
And TJ Miller Guys, it's so great to see you.
Thank you.
It's great to see you eventually.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, God.
I know.
I have a beard, but you guys are... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You guys really did.
Matt, use your microphone voice.
Sorry.
Beards kiss.
He kept saying beards kiss.
And what's your problem, TJ?
The second we came out here
Rory and Matt kind of like tenderly
embraced and kissed
For everyone listening, that's not true
What?
We sat down like professional gentlemen
and we were preparing to compete
in a movie competition
For everyone listening, that's the weirdest lie
a human being
can start out by saying.
Which is that the other two panelists
kissed and tenderly hugged.
But Rory, you've called me out of screw.
That's what we're saying.
It was all bullshit.
It was going to be a larger chess game
like House of Cards,
but at the end of it,
that billionaire is in his heavyset.
We'll be right back with more
of Beard Science.
Beard Science. A panel show with
beards and science.
What is happening with pop culture that we
all have beards? Because all four of us have beards.
Matt looks the best. No.
No offense, Rory.
No offense, because your beard looks great.
Did you include yourself in the Matt looks the best?
Yes.
Or was it just down to the two of us?
Buddy, look at me.
I look like Jesus got in a really bad breakup eight months ago.
I look like a guy who's like, hey, you want to smoke weed?
And you're like, yeah.
He's like, cool, you got any?
Don't come at me with that one.
Your hair matches your beard perfectly.
It's beautiful.
You also wear a beard very well.
Why is everybody wearing beards now?
I'm shaving mine off tomorrow.
You are, really?
Yeah.
I think that's why it looks the best.
Because it's at its peak and it's about to leave.
Oh, it knows it's on the way out.
I think it's because it looks distinguished.
Oh, yeah.
You have to have a beard that looks like who you are.
Rory, I think yours is a little unruly, but meticulous.
Every moment, every hair on your head.
My beard is that shittiest of beard that's well trimmed,
so I look like that asshole from Die Hard that's like,
Hans, boobie, I'm your white knight.
I'm that guy.
I'm that guy that gets shot, does a bunch of coke and gets shot.
That's his life.
That's a good beard.
That's a great beard description. Also an excellent epitaph. Did a bunch of coke and died. It get shot. That's his life. That's a good beard. That's a great beard description.
Also an excellent epitaph. Did a bunch
of coke and died. That's
his life. Oh, a shot. Sorry.
I just saw him today and he plays
the asshole dad of the
girl that's mean to Carrie
in the Carrie remake.
Oh, he's still working? His name is Hart Bachner.
So for the prize
bag... Doug wins. He. So for the prize bag,
Doug wins.
He won.
For the prize bag, I brought a copy of Gateway Doug, of course, and a
t-shirt from
a thing called
what's it called?
Budcast.
Yeah, Budcast Podcast, so I assume that's about
marijuana.
And I got a Douglas Booth T-shirt.
T.J. Miller is here, ladies and gentlemen.
Hello, everyone. Thank you for having me.
I apologize in advance for the abrasive nature of my comedy.
And what'd you bring for the prize bag?
I brought my passport holder.
Okay, let's get that in there.
Toss it right into the prize bag right in front of everybody make sure you take your passport out
first there you go don't there's a lot there's a lot more than just your passport your driver's
license and your receipts too it seems more like it wouldn't some people call that your wallet
i get it doug you guys you fucking fancy schmancy assholes have wallets
and passport holders.
Well, welcome to the fucking real world!
Where all you have is a
passport holder that was given to you by a
woman that broke your heart.
Put it in the bag,
badass motherfucker. But really, you had
broken hers, and you had broken
your own before you even met. There you go.
So it's cursed. Enjoy. Whoever wins before you even met. There you go.
So it's cursed.
Enjoy.
Whoever wins that one, enjoy.
It's cursed.
Instant heartache.
That's Matt Bronger, everybody.
Yay.
Thank you.
Thank y'all.
Oh, this is nice.
I like the way it feels.
Well, then why don't you take it and give them something of your own?
I did give them some. Well, Anyway. Matt, do you have anything
for the prize bag? Yeah.
I brought a white vinyl copy
of Shovel Fighter. Shut the fuck
up! Look at this.
Look at that.
Look at that guy in a white linen suit.
I would fuck that till
I died.
Thanks, T.H.
He's sitting right next to you.
I mean, where did you shoot that?
How did you find so much foliage?
Griffith Park.
Griffith Park.
Really?
Uh-huh.
Jesus God.
It's just based on those 70s albums
where there's a guy in a pristine suit
in the middle of the woods.
And you're like, how did you get there?
Were you airlifted in?
How is your suit undusty?
Those albums were based on that picture.
It's amazing.
Rory Scovel, what do you have for the prize bag?
All right. The great Rory Scovel.
I forgot to bring something,
but remembered that I have $15 left on this Apple card.
That's a good prize. that I have $15 left on this Apple card.
That's a good prize.
So get in the Apple and start fitting in with the other people.
Listen, hey,
I don't want to obviously talk about this right now,
but...
If you're trying to tell secrets, don't say it in the mic.
Listen, I didn't realize that Rory didn't bring anything,
so I also hadn't brought anything.
So I gave the passport holder.
Actually, my grandmother gave me that when she was dying.
As she died, she handed me that passport holder.
So I was wondering if I could trade it.
Are you trying to say that you would like to have
the vinyl copy of Shovel Fighter?
You motherfucker!
Because I'll give you that,
but the passport thing's staying in the bag
as punishment.
See this bow tie?
This was given to me by my grandfather as he
died.
He was a real piece of shit.
What are you trying to say?
You're going to give that instead of the passport?
Okay. I'll trade that.
You know what? I actually trade that. You know what?
I actually got that Apple card from a friend.
We were holding on to each other like in Cliffhanger.
And when he slipped, he had actually passed me that card.
As he fell.
And I should think about this.
Rory, the question is, do you have a bow tie?
Give him your V-neck sweater.
Shit. Doug, that's actually
a Bob Seger album. That's not even me.
Signed. I feel like an asshole.
A signed, sealed, and delivered
Bob Seger album that
had been just cropped a little bit on all sides
to be able to fit into the cover.
I taped a picture of my face on his body.
It was expensive.
So the winner tonight can enjoy a Budcast t-shirt.
Everybody is taking back their prizes.
So I kind of assumed that
that would take a while, what we just did.
That portion of the show.
And so I've got right here on this piece of paper, let the games begin.
Let's play some games.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
One game in particular, the Leonard Mulde game.
And if there's time at the end, we'll play another game or something.
We should build a title.
Let's check out the name.
There's such massive name tags over here
that they're blocking the rest of the audience.
That's good defense.
Lauren the Pooh.
That's good poster defense.
Jason Needs Moms.
That's kind of a pervy title.
I'd be likey.
All right.
While those guys pick the name tags,
we're going to take this quick commercial break.
We'll be right back.
And we're back.
Who are you playing for, TJ?
The State of the Union.
Yep, and later on I'll tell you
who he thinks the biggest shithead is.
So, Ryan, go ahead and put a bleep on that, what he just said.
We'll hear it for the first time at the end.
It'll be fun.
I'm playing for the State of the Union.
And later on, we'll tell you, if they win, who they think the world's biggest shithead is.
Don't tell them.
So this is for the State of the Union.
Or as I call them, S-O-T-U.
So many bleeps.
Wait till you hear his shithead.
All right, so his name's Some Random Dude.
I'll just put this down here.
Can't believe you blew it.
Can't believe you blew it.
Oh, my God.
I've been looking for my Vine app all this time.
I can't even. I can't concentrate.
All right, so that's who TJ's playing for.
Who are you playing for, Matt?
So I can say this part, but not the back, yeah?
Yeah.
Okay, I'm playing for, hello, my name is Erica Montoya?
I think it's supposed to be, okay.
You killed my father, prepare to die.
What?
It's an ego, not an American. It's an ego, you're right. Thank you. You to die. What? It's Inigo.
It's Inigo. You're right. Thank you.
I just knew it was a dude.
Which we're not sure about with you.
Look at those cuffs.
You cuffing up your jeans?
Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father.
Roy, who are you playing for?
I am playing for Stan by me.
Stan
by me.
Oh my god, that's a diorama.
That's a fucking...
Have you ever seen a diorama?
They've done dioramas.
That's an explosive diorama.
Like diarrhea.
Bob Seger of Machine Gun Diarrhea Jokes.
Is that really the first diorama
you've ever seen?
This fell out of your thing, TJ.
It's a note to yourself, I guess.
And it says, get rid of cursed grandpa necktie.
Do you know anything about, can you explain that? Do we have a cursed necktie. Do you know anything about... Can you explain that?
Do we have a cursed necktie in this bag
that we're going to force upon an innocent...
Why is all your stuff cursed, man?
What do you mean, cursed?
I was in Yogi Bear 3D.
I still got to go back. I want to be a Yogi Bear completist. gotta go back
I wanna be a Yogi Bear completist
I go back and see 1 and 2
and then 3D
2D isn't that great
1D's awesome
the final chapter
without seeing the penultimate episode
of the greatest trilogy of talking bear comedy
that's ever existed
hang on I just got two texts from Rory.
The first one says, at back door.
And the second one says,
locked.
I think
he was saying, do you want to come play
Foursquare? And kind of baiting you
into it. And when you got out there, he'd be like, sorry,
you can't play Foursquare with us. This game's
locked. What I was trying
to say was, Doug, if you're trying to fuck me in the butt,
no thank you.
Had nothing to do with this show tonight
or this venue.
It's locked.
My ass is locked.
Yeah.
Locked.
That's how you say it.
Yeah.
To someone who wants to fuck you in the bottom.
Say it's locked.
That's the best way.
I have a locked butt.
Just a sassy little gay boy turning around going, come on in, bottom. Say it's locked. That's the best way. I have a locked butt. Just a sassy little gay boy
turning around going,
come on in,
but sorry, it's locked.
Then why'd you say come on in?
Well, because the front...
Because I was hoping you were a vampire.
Because the screen door is open,
but the real door is locked.
That's right.
I'm wearing underwear made of...
It's a veil.
Guys, I gotta...
I can't be here all the time.
Sit normal and talk your own voice.
Yeah, in a gay accent.
Talk your own voice.
Let's play a Leonard Maltin game.
If you say so.
Yeah.
That's an idea I had.
Okay.
I think it'll be fun.
Trying to decide who should
start us off here tonight.
I'd say Matt's
probably like the
most
wins under his belt maybe.
By accident.
Best beard that's about to be shaved.
Yes. So let's start with Matt,
then let's go to Rory, and that's
T.J. will go third.
For State of the Union. Just to kind of
plan for the State of the Union.
T.J.! Just kind of in hopes that
if we start over there, those guys
will get to talk a little bit.
I really want Rory to get
in the game tonight. He's just kind of hanging out over there.
Yeah.
I don't play by the rules, Doug.
Can't wrangle me in.
Stop leaning back in your chair.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Terrified the whole rest of the show.
Four names. I can the show. Four names.
I can do it in four names.
Matt, as suggested by
at Matt Picasso
on Twitter,
you're the dog now, man.
And that's movies where a person
turns into an animal.
Ah.
Or Rich Ridland suggested
Downtown Abbey. Downtown Abbey. And that's a movie where a woman an animal. Or Rich Ridland suggested Downtown
Abbey. Downtown Abbey.
And that's a movie where a woman gets
oral sex.
Oh, hang on. Hang on.
We ran out of those
because it doesn't happen
very often.
There's like two. There's just a few, yeah.
At Brian Just Band
suggested Walter Mitty. This is a favorite of mine. Walter Mitty. And that, a few, yeah. At Brian Just Band suggested Walter Mitty.
This is a favorite of mine, Walter Mitty.
And that, of course, is movies where
Walter Matthau wears mittens.
That's good.
And N.W. Trout
suggested the notorious
B.I.G. And that, of course,
is movies with the word big
in the title.
There's more than you'd think think unless you think there are a lot
i think there are infinite amounts
uh i'm gonna go uh you're the uh dog now man all right this is movies where a person turns
into an animal and uh your year options are would you like a movies where a person turns into an animal, and your year options are,
would you like a movie where a person turns into an animal from 85 or 2006?
Let's go 85.
Okay.
Deep.
Deep cuts.
Three stars from Leonard.
No.
From this movie that he calls Overlong.
Not a great clue because he says that about movie that he calls Overlong. Not a great
clue because he says that about anything
that's over 95 minutes.
But generally
entertaining, he says.
And he says the movie has
thunderous music.
Just
thunderous.
And he lists
a whopping seven names.
How many names do you think
you can get it in?
Person turns into an animal.
Oh.
I'm gonna go none.
Zero names?
Yeah.
You think you know
what movie it is already?
I'm gonna roll the fucking dice, man.
Oh, the dice man.
Oh!
I think it's this.
She blew me.
I say zero!
Hickory, hickory, hickory, cock!
Misogyny!
Ha ha!
Oh!
What do you think there, Roy?
Can you go negative names?
Do you think you know the motion picture
that we're talking about?
I think
that
I do.
You've got a
I think you have a chia chin.
I think that I do know it.
It's very chia style, your beard.
I don't know it.
I honestly...
So just say to Matt,
name it,
hope he's gonna get this wrong.
He's more than likely
gonna get it right.
You think?
You confident in him?
Matt, why don't you
name that motherfucker, bro?
If you...
If you wanna
go negative names,
I'll go deeper.
If you wanna open that hole,
I'll...
I'll find my way in as long as it's unlocked.
This is unorthodox.
I'm just saying.
I think Rory already made up his mind.
Okay, go ahead.
And Matt is going to say the name of this movie right now
and blow everyone away.
Teen Wolf?
Point to Rory.
Can I say something?
I was gonna say Teen Wolf.
1985.
That was Back to the Future.
That was B-T-T-F.
That was B-T-T-F.
This special picture
is called Lady Hawk.
It featured Michelle Pfeiffer as a lady who would That was B-T-T-F. This poster picture is called Lady Hawk. Oh, shit.
And it featured
Michelle Pfeiffer
as a lady
who would turn
into a hawk.
And Rutger Hauer
as a man
who would turn
into a wolf.
And they couldn't bone
because animals
that are different animals
can't bone.
I used to love
sitting around
every Christmas.
Are there scenes
of them dropping?
Yeah.
Every Christmas
we'd gather around
and watch Lady Hawk together.
That was just such a...
Michelle Pfeiffer, that's her best role.
That's sort of a family thing.
We'll do it on fucking Halloween
or Labor Day. We don't give a fuck.
We'll do it on fucking Memorial Day.
We'll do it on President's Day.
You get to pick
a category, TJ.
And then we will go to
Rory.
Ladyhawk.
At Internet Mayor suggested
Two Timing Bitch.
And that's
dog movies that have a sequel.
Dog movie sequels.
That's good.
That's solid.
At Serve Crow suggested The Kurt Locker. The Kurt Locker. that's good that's solid at serve crow
suggested
the kurt locker
the kurt locker
and that's
kurt russell movies
that
leonard gave
the bomb
designation to
there's only three
in his
in his storied career
and
i'll take that one
all right
i'll tell you the third one
you can change your
but I'm not gonna
listen to it
I'm gonna hum
the theme song
to your show
at Snitty
Snitty
suggested
Pineapple
Express
and that's
motion pictures
where someone
Doug loves
movies
throws
fruit
someone throwing
fruit
TJ I think he has to pay for that now alright sorry throws fruit. Someone throwing fruit.
TJ, I think he has to pay for that now.
So, you just cost Doug like 10 grand. Probably 10 grand.
I do charge
a lot for the licensing of that song.
That's a popular one.
DJ Chazzy
I want to live in Matt Bronner's beard.
It's the only safe place.
Which one do you want to do, Kurt?
I'll do the Kurt Russell one, yeah.
I didn't hear the last one.
You can read it again if you want to.
You probably better go with that.
This is a Kurt Russell movie from 2001
that Leonard says is a bomb.
He says this movie has a potentially clever idea
that degenerates into an overlong.
What year?
2001.
Got it.
Overlong, bloody, boar.
B-O-A-R or B-O-R-E? Awful, bloody, boar. B-O-A-R or B-O-R-E?
Awful, bloody, boar.
And is it B-O-R-E or B-O-A-R?
B-O-R-E.
I can't understand a word you're saying, but I know you're saying it.
Okay.
Boar.
Got it.
Any lists?
13 names.
How many think you could get in?
I don't know what that voice was.
13.
I like it.
Rory?
I'm going to go
with
12 names.
Fuck!
Fuck!
God damn it!
Make the move you're supposed to make.
You knocked over the diorama.
Make the move you're supposed to make.
You don't leave anything to chance.
make. You don't leave anything to chance.
He's the Bobby
Fisher of the Leonard Maltin game.
Just when you think you got him.
Nope.
Matt.
I'll do five names.
I'll jump down a little bit.
I think I might know what it is.
Listen to yourself and your instinct.
Every decision is
a medium between
rationality
and instinct. Use your instinct
in perfect balance with your
rationality.
Don't make the wrong
move.
Don't make the wrong move. Don't make the wrong
move.
I won't break you.
I'm on tour in February.
DJ Miller just on
FOSA.com.
Four names.
Four names, he says,
ladies and gentlemen.
That's exciting.
Rory?
Names.
No, no, no, no.
Name it.
Name it.
I thought you were going to say nine names.
Nine.
You can't go up.
A hundred names.
All of the names.
Crew, I want to know everybody. Every name there is. 9,000 names. All of the names. Screw, I want to know everybody.
Every name there is.
9,000 names.
You bring this on yourself,
TJ. You're about to lose
not only
the point, but the game, because Rory
is going to get the point if you can't
name this movie. Am I, Doug?
Yeah.
That's what I think is about to happen.
Well, why don't you go ahead and read me
the year of the film
and the description, and I'll tell you exactly
what that movie was.
Rory, Scoville,
and Matt.
You're about to drink from a can that's been crushed like it's empty.
Quiet, Doug, and read!
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Sorry, everybody.
You don't even want to know what happened over here.
Listeners, we're not even ever going to tell you what happened.
You'll just have to wonder forever what just happened.
I didn't see, but I think Rory took a real fizzy piss.
I think he peed fizzy on the ground.
I'm so shocked.
There's an attack.
It's creeping towards you.
It's heading right towards her
In a way this is
This is a moment for you to drink alcohol
In a way that you never have or could again
You get in this chair
This is the right thing
This is the right thing
No they don't need to see
I didn't want them here
No get in that chair.
I deserve this.
Very graceful.
Yeah, you deserve to be in a land of no chairs.
You can sit on my leg.
It's not a big deal.
No, this feels more confident as a posture.
3,000 miles.
No chair land.
I'll use half of it.
I'm not taking the whole thing.
That's elegant.
That's graceful.
That's grace landful.
This is the physicality of this game going 19 days.
Has this game ever gone this fast?
It's going to be over.
So that's why I'm letting everybody drag this out.
I'll read the clues again, TJ.
Leonard says it's a bomb.
I am so sorry, you guys.
In a way, I feel like I am this movie.
It was about the time I realized I was such a failure.
Kurt Russell's in this.
It's one of the three bombs in his career.
Trust me, listen, I've had a lot of problems in my life.
A lot of problems.
You understand?
A lot of problems.
Potentially clever ID, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You think.
Degenerates.
You've had a lot of problems.
Into an overlong.
It just goes, yeah, it goes on.
Bloody.
Yep.
And bloody awful.
You think you're so powerful and then you just feel so little.
I guess my guess is
And your four names
are
Paul Anka
What?
Paul Anka
David Kaye
Hang on, it gets better.
You ready? Ice T
and Bokeem Woodbine banner. That's a banner ad. Hang on. It gets better. You ready? Ice tea.
And Bokeem Woodbine.
Are your four names that were in this movie.
Bokeem, you foiled me again.
Now, look, I've had
a lot of problems this whole show.
I thought there were going to be little problems,
big deal, but I did. I had some
problems I thought got out of hand.
I also think I thought I out of hand and I also think
I thought I was
really powerful
I was coming to power
in the whole game
and I ended up
feeling much smaller
than I thought
I really was
so I guess
my guess is
I'm big trouble
in little China
come on
I'm terrible
that game
I know in your head
you were so excited
that you were gonna
say it that way
and then be correct.
No, I wasn't.
That's a good movie, that Big Trouble.
It is a great movie, but I think I just did
my answer was Leonard Maltin
would have given the same review to my answer
in performance just then.
3,000 Miles to Graceland.
Motherfucker!
All words that I said repeatedly
right next to you
over and over again
while Rory was
fucking around with that chair.
Yeah, but you were like,
let's 3,000,
let's smoke 3,000 joints
after this.
Come on,
there's a Graceland ahead of us.
In Graceland.
Yeah, exactly.
You're like,
Miles, we'll get Miles high.
That was really fun.
I really enjoyed doing that,
but also that means that Rory is our winner.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, you did it, Rory.
Fuck yes.
Give me my chair!
Thank you.
So who are you playing for again?
I'm playing for Stan.
Stan?
Stan by me.
Come on, Stan.
I just pointed at the wrong guy. Me and another guy had an emotional moment. Come get your. Stan? Stan, buy me. Come on, Stan. I just pointed at the wrong guy.
Me and another guy had an emotional moment.
Come get your prize back, Stan.
Congratulations.
Pleasure.
Yeah, he's taking the name tag back
because when you have something that works,
why would you...
It's probably covered in beer, though, Stan.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, ring it out.
And Matt, could you pass me your name tag? Yes, Stan. It's probably got a shit in on the back, I about that. Yeah, ring it out. And Matt, could you pass me your name tag?
Yes, Dan.
Probably got a shit in on the back, I'm guessing.
TJ, settle down.
TJ, we know yours.
Okay.
Try not to think about it because
now that we've got a little extra time
we're gonna play a bonus game
right
this has never happened
fuck yes
fuck
we're not fucking around
it is bonus game time
it's a game I like to call
the Seth Rogen game,
a.k.a. Last Man Stanton.
Always gets very polite golf applause.
Because it is a fun game to play.
Have you guys played on car trips or anything?
Super fun.
Everyone's like, nope.
It's really fun.
Nope, we walked here.
So what we're going to do, gentlemen,
is since Rory won that whole shebang,
we'll let him go first,
and then we'll go to Matt,
and then we'll go to TJ,
because I want to continually punish him
for his behavior.
Do you want another beer, buddy?
Yeah, go grab another beer real quick.
Just while I'm describing the rules of how this works.
I'm good, thank you.
I got water, I'm good on the water.
Perfect, so everybody's fine.
But if we just say out loud,
TJ needs another beer, one will come flying in.
Really?
Yeah, well hopefully not flying in.
It's not true, really?
Yeah, I think it'll happen.
I have faith. R, hopefully not flying in. It's not true, really? Yeah, I think it'll happen. I don't believe in such magic.
I have faith. If we let you leave the stage... Rory wants
a thousand dollars.
And here it is.
I don't know.
Matt wants a gingerbread house.
Also, this genie thinks
that everything is above light.
Why does Rory affect that weird voice
when he's... It's who I
really am!
When I want money!
Oh, two.
That's not a good idea.
Oh, one for each of them.
And water for Mr. Bronger.
I mean, this is pretty much water.
Dad joke!
Dad joke!
Dad joke!
Sex in a sailboat.
Fucking too close to water.
Remember that?
I do not? I do not
I do not
I am sorry
I'm sorry
I'm very sorry
You can never be too close to water
When making love
You can fly too close to the sun though
Icarus knew that didn't he?
We're gonna get the name
Those wings will become candles
Faster than you can snap your wax fingers
Thanks buddy
We're gonna get a name From somebody in the audience of an actor or an actress or a director with a large body of work, a lot of films,
that all four of us, I'm going to play two, are going to take turns naming movies that that person was involved with, involved in.
Oh. Oh.
Yeah.
And it's harder than you'd think.
I know, I lost this game before.
That was such an incredible noise to make, ever.
Just, how?
Because that's how I felt, but I didn't know how to vocalize it.
And then in a moment's notice, my mind was like,
what could, how, what do you, and we're always like, how? Iize it. And then in a moment I just noticed my mind was like what could how would it and I was like
oh.
I love it.
Right now you look like
you cry glitter.
I do.
Whenever I come home
my wife is like
you've been at the strip club
you've got glitter
all over your face
and I say bitch
you'll never find out
I was watching a sad movie.
I was
I was at a unicorn field that you'll never find
a location of.
Whoa.
Guys. Who throws
money? Is it a thousand
dollars? It's only
a dollar.
Guys, but he's about to throw
$8,999 more
rare buds. All rubber banded
to a baseball. Don't.
Towards your head.
Don't.
This was the best delivery?
A goddamn stealth bomber?
Oh, you need a dollar?
There's one!
In your face!
Do not fucking throw a gingerbread house at my head.
Please don't.
As much as you want one.
I can't have that happen again in my life. Once is enough.
That's how I got this scar.
Uh-oh.
Oh, Jesus. TJ's
dropping money like he's
going to the
champagne room. That was the original thing
I was going to give out.
And you switched it to the cursed tie?
The curse.
Stan, are you still with us?
Okay, good.
All right, so where's some random dude at?
Where's the some random dude sign at?
Since he blew out your...
He's behind you.
He's got a visor on.
Oh, hey, dude.
Hey, dude.
Have we done Will Ferrell yet?
I don't think so. Have yet? I don't think so.
Have we?
I don't think so.
So we're going to do it tonight.
It's a good one.
Oh, God.
Will Ferrell movies.
Holy shit.
Wow.
Rory, go.
Name any Will Ferrell movie.
Anchorman.
Good one
Thank you
But we're going to need the full title
You need full title?
The Anchorman?
There's a colon
I just keep
Colon
Jesus Christ, can I switch?
No
I'm going to give you this one Okay Oh, Jesus Christ. Can I switch? No.
I'm going to give you this one.
Okay.
Because you stepped into it.
Because you would have said a different movie if you knew that you had to say the whole title.
Thank you.
The Legend of Ron Burgundy.
No.
Well, Doug's out.
Doug's out. Doug's out.
Matt, your turn.
Even if he was out,
I would go TJ.
It wasn't even my turn.
Matt, what do you got?
Night at the Roxbury.
Yeah.
TJ?
Everything Must Go.
Good one.
That's very nice.
Oh, is I supposed to name a movie?
Did we give you Sleepy Time beer?
That's solid.
No, I can't try.
I'm going to go with my personal favorite, Blades of Glory.
Really? Blades of Glory. Really?
Blades of Glory, yeah, I love that movie for some reason.
Really, really, really?
I love it, yeah.
Why?
I don't know why.
It's a strange thing.
Everything about it makes me laugh.
Sorry.
Rory?
Kanye West loved it.
Talladega Nights.
Full title, please.
Son of a bitch!
You keep stepping in a bear trap I walked into it
I walked right into it
Let me give you a clue
It's not
The legend of anyone
The story
Story
The story... Story?
The story... of Will Ferrell's character.
Is it the Ricky Bobby story?
Or the story of Ricky Bobby?
The life in times of Richard Bobbitt?
Richard William Bobbitt,
the Rick, the
Rickards Bobbitt story
of the life. Got it.
Got it.
And it's confirmed. I think it's all in there.
It's the, what is it?
The ballad of Ricky Bobby? The ballad!
Die!
Fucking. It doesn't matter.
The ballad wasn't even as good as any of the ones that you did.
Right?
God damn it.
I'm going to give it to him, though, because that was so much fun.
That was good.
Points!
I love the ballad of Richard Bobby.
Bobbit.
Bobbit.
Bobbit.
The life.
The life.
That's the life at the end.
Comma, the life. What do you gotbit. The life. The life. The life at the end. Comma the life.
What do you got, Matt?
Step Brothers.
Yes. Great movie.
Nice.
TJJ. Haven't you been in a movie
with Will Ferrell?
The Goods.
Full title.
Full title?
TJ, you were in that movie.
Listen, Matt, it's time for you to know no one likes me.
Do you know the movie I was in?
It's called Chinese Stories Book 3.
Look it up.
Really?
I know the whole title, yeah.
Wait, you were in a movie called?
Asian Stories, book three.
So you didn't know.
Yeah.
You said Chinese Stories.
Same thing.
It's just more specific.
Just a classic
I've been in movies
conversation.
Buy hard and sell hard.
You didn't want to be
in that movie.
The goods.
The goods. Buy hard and sell hard. I'll take buy hard and sell hard. You didn't want to be in that movie. The goods. Buy hard, sell hard.
I'll take buy hard and sell hard. It's not right though, right?
Live hard, sell hard.
You know,
each of you gets one gimme when it comes to
the rest of the title
after the colon.
I don't know if there are anymore.
This game is unforgiving.
I'm going to say Elf.
Go on.
Rory?
Stranger than Fiction.
Nice.
The story of
a salesman that was
written about.
Nice.
Alright, Matt. Austin Powers, Man of Mystery. Nice. All right, Matt.
Austin Powers, Man of Mystery.
Ooh.
That's sneaky.
What do you got there, TJ?
Zoolander.
Yeah, I do.
That would gateway you to that.
That was a good one.
Fair enough.
That's a pretty clever move.
I'm going to go with my second favorite of all of Will Ferrell's work,
and that's called Old School.
Yeah.
Love that movie when he gets that tranquilizer dart in the neck.
God damn it.
Rory.
Casa de Mi Padre.
Yeah. I'm glad you said it because I wouldn't remember that. Casa de Mi Padre. Yeah.
Oh, I'm glad you said it
because I wouldn't remember that.
That's a true one.
Oh, I just thought of another one.
Matt.
Wedding Crashers.
That's the one I thought of.
Why didn't we both think of that right there?
Superstar.
Yeah.
Wow, breakneck face.
Can he do it?
Melinda and Melinda.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Woo.
Oh,
shit. Rory.
Starsky and Hutch.
Nice.
Nicely done.
Oh, uh, uh, uh,
uh, Bewitched.
Pulled that right out of my ass.
Like a magic trick from Bewitched.
TJ?
Oh, God.
Is this the one where he gets hit in the dick
with the soccer ball?
That should count.
Hashtag Team TJ.
Hold on, no, no, it doesn't.
But you all know what I'm saying.
Three seconds.
It hits a ball.
Two.
It hit his dick.
One.
It's on a soccer field.
It's called...
Dick Soccer Field Balls.
You're out.
Kicking and screaming.
Rory?
The other guys.
Oh, good one.
The other guys. Matt?
Shit.
Shit.
Anchorman 2.
Full title. That's my freebie. Oh, thatorman 2. Full title.
That's my freebie.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
You did that right.
The legend of his burgundy boner.
Good freebie play.
That got an applause break.
Your freebie play got a little respect from the crowd.
Anchorman 2 mustache bonanza.
Mustache bonanza.
It was actually
The Legend Continues?
Was that all it was?
Yeah, right. It was also live, hard sell, how to train you,
whatever.
Kicking and everything must go.
Whatever.
He's screaming.
Alright, so shit.
I am
fucked.
Because I can't...
Oh, man.
Oh,
Lord.
He popped in on more than
one movie where he just shows up for a while
at the end. I'm going to take a wild
guess and see if it plays
out in my favor
and say
The Internship.
He shows up in it? Yes!
Wow.
Bald. Blind tiger.
Doug Benson.
At the last second.
What have you got, buddy?
I'm trying to see if I can somehow
do the same math. All of a sudden I'm like,
alright.
What has Vince Vaughn done recently?
I'm gonna go
total shot in the dark
because it seems like
it would work
walk hard
oh
the
full title of course
I know
I know
I wish I had a
Freibsters
I can't believe
some of the audience
is like full title
Dewey
fucking assholes
yeah somebody said it very like audience is like, full title. Dewey. Fucking assholes. Yeah, somebody said it very villainous.
Full title.
Full title.
Full title.
Burp, burp, burp, burp.
Kneel Before Zod, full title.
All right, so you're out, Rory.
Wait, is he not in there?
Can you say it?
I don't even know if he's in it.
Walk Hard, The Dewey Cox story.
Yeah.
Great job.
You did it.
Is he in it?
Don't leave.
Don't leave.
Don't leave.
Is he in it?
You're still in it.
I don't think he's in it, though.
Oh, fuck.
I just want to say, I'm serious.
That was one of the greatest moments of performance art I've ever seen in my life.
A man being like, yes, I fucking did it
in the entire audience. He's like, yeah!
And then Doug's like, no, he didn't. And you're like, yeah, he did it.
And he's like, well, thank you very much.
What poise.
What grace. I love it. God!
Why do these have to be games? Why can't they
just be playing about?
Oh, fuck.
Why must
there be winners and losers.
Why wasn't he in that?
Yeah, because he lost.
What do you got, Matt?
I got it, and I can't remember the goddamn name.
Oh, shit.
Don't say walk hard.
It's kicking and screaming.
No, it's not.
Oh, describe it to us.
It's the basketball one.
Oh, right.
I want to say.
Settle, settle, settle. Settle.
Settle!
Shut the fuck up.
Shut your mouths.
Shut your mouths.
Shut your mouths.
Shut your mouths.
Don't rile Rory up.
Don't rile me.
Do not rile me.
Ah!
Fuck.
Semi-pro?
Yeah!
Oh, God.
Oh!
It's so much pleasure.
I wish I had champagne.
I wish I had champagne.
was Will Ferrell a voice
wait does that count
yes it fucking does
was he a voice
in Mastermind
yes
he was
Brad Pitt and Will Ferrell
right
a full title wrong name oh that's the wrong Yes. He was. Brad Pitt and Will Ferrell, right?
A full title?
Oh, that's the wrong title, they say.
This side says wrong title.
Doug, full title, please.
No, it's wrong title. I'm getting the title wrong.
Yeah, hey, here's a good way to... The make of mine is the answer.
You piece of shit.
Here's a great way to end the podcast.
Matt wouldn't have thought of that.
You would have.
Come on.
And I got it wrong, so Matt is our winner.
Hey!
He must have been a voice in some other cartoon too, right?
Mastermind.
Gordon, here's a who.
God damn it, I thought of that one for a second.
He's in the Lego movie that's coming out too.
Curious George.
The producer.
Jesus.
Did you say Jesus Christ?
Wait, did he say we were really off by 2,000 movies?
Jesus.
That guy said usually a handful.
It's usually like 10 movies we can't think of.
He said Curious George.
I'm pretty sure it's Curious.
That guy had Curious George bottled up inside of himself for so long.
All day he's like, if anyone ever asks anything about it,
I'll yell it as hard as my heart desires.
And then we didn't say it.
And then he's like, Curious George!
There's no wonder about whether or not you occupy my heart.
Got any plugs, TJ?
I'm doing a national tour in February.
TJ Miller does not have a website.com.
www.tjmillerdoesnothaveawebsite.com
for dates.
It's all over the United States.
What fun.
Why not get together?
Matt Brogger.
Talk about how upset you were about my performance on this show.
You're like the Philip Lugster.
Go, Matt.
Oh, when does this come out?
Now.
Now.
Okay.
Saturday, February 1st, Dana Gould and I are taking our Bukkake of Smiles tour to the
Sketch Fest in San Francisco.
Oh, that's why you're going to shave tomorrow?
Yeah, because I got bukkake.
Of smiles!
Rory?
I'm going to be in New York City
at Subculture Theater February 8,
9, 10, and 11 to prepare
to shoot a special in Charleston,
South Carolina February 21st
and 22nd, 2014.
Go! Go!
I don't know why I'm posed like this.
And then try to come to my dad's office for birthday cake day.
Where's your dad's office?
Charleston, South Carolina, February 21st and 22nd.
Are you doing your special in your father's office?
It's expensive
to rent places.
Douglovesmovies.com
for dates,
deets,
and links.
And Rory,
can you come back
as our winner?
Can you come back
and compete again
next week?
Next Tuesday?
Yes.
He's back,
ladies and gentlemen.
We'll have Rory.
Rory Scoble will be back.
Thanks again to
T.J. Miller
and Matt Bronger.
And as always, the s*** is a shithead.
And so is some random guy.
And I don't know where this comes from,
but I'm going to say it.
Tom Hanks is a shithead.
That is not true.
Now it's time we're done to watch another talk. He hides above his view and prowess makes him foggy. head. That is not true.