Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Scot Armstrong, and Brody Stevens Guest
Episode Date: June 23, 2011Doug welcomes actor/comedians T.J. Miller and Brody Stevens, along with screenwriter Scot Armstrong. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://...art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screenings, babies, spittin' seeds
With 50-azit popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
My name is Doug
You know what I love
Movies
This is Doug Loves Movies
Coming to you from the UCB Theater
In Los Angeles on June 21st
To Ocean's Eleven
There was some concern on Twitter
That Jon Hamm would be
Whether or not he would be
moving on to the Tournament of Championships
for getting Beer Fest and Zero Names last
week. And I'm here to tell you
yes, he will advance into
the next tournament.
We've got a tournament going on right now that he's
a deep alternate on.
He advances in the next
tournament, but he's very busy
making all of the movies and TV shows.
So,
we'll see if he'll be able to participate.
But it's an amazing bench that we're building up
with Jerry O'Connell
and Simon
Pegg and Jon Hamm.
It's crazy.
So, we'll see who we can get.
The current Tournament of Championships
continues on Tuesday, two weeks from now,
Tuesday, June 5th here at UCB with directors Jordan Brady and Edgar Wright
and actor and lead Malton Game curator Sam the Ma'am Levine.
That's right.
Little Wolverine will be right here in two weeks.
So come back in two weeks, and thank you for lining up so early.
It's amazing how early
the line starts every week lately
and I appreciate everyone
making such an effort to get in.
I'm about to embark
on the greatest movie ever
rolled tour
with stops in Oklahoma City,
Houston, Burbank,
just to name three.
All of the tour dates.
I mention Burbank, just to name three. All of the tour dates. I mention Burbank mostly
for everyone that's actually here
tonight. Come out to Flappers
in Burbank on June 30th for a late
night fun show wrapping up
the movie. But all
of the dates for the movie tour
and for me touring in general
are at
Douglovesmovies.com.
It's week five of me not seeing Pirates 4,
Stranger Than Fiction.
And, not to make things more complicated, but it's also week one of me not seeing Green Lantern.
I'd see it if the green in the title
meant that he smoked weed and that gave him
all of his powers, but I'm pretty sure
that's not the case.
So I'm going to hold off on that one
until it's on an airplane.
My guests tonight
are two dudes involved in one...
Let me take this back.
My guests tonight are...
I just learned something backstage that blew my mind.
My guests tonight are one dude
that was involved in one of the biggest
blockbusters of the summer.
Oh, no, wait. Both two dudes were involved
with it. I confused
myself, and I
didn't even need to change a word of this.
But it'll be interesting.
You'll see what I'm talking about.
Two dudes involved in one of the biggest blockbusters of the summer.
And T.J. Miller.
Please welcome Scott Armstrong, Brody Stevens, and T.J. Miller.
Scott, sit wherever you want.
Brody.
TJ.
Two, check, check, two.
Yes.
One, two, one, two, check, check, check.
Okay, so Scott Armstrong,
co-writer of Hangover 2,
and five Todd Phillips movies in total.
You've written every Todd Phillips movie practically except for the documentary about frat houses.
I wrote the documentary on frat houses. Oh, you wrote that?
No.
And then, but you did not write the first Hangover.
I did not.
I learned that backstage when I asked you to sign a copy of The Hangover for me to give away.
You were like, I had nothing to do with this.
So on the DVD it says, I did not write this, and I signed my name.
Yeah.
That's perfect.
And we got Brody to sign it, because Brody, of course, is in Hangover 1.
And Hangover 2.
Well, yeah, he's in Part 2, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Let's talk about his great role in the first one, where he played a guy in a car with sunglasses on.
Was that it?
That was the part that I did not write.
No, I played Officer Foltz.
Oh, officer. You were an officer.
I actually had a name, Officer Foltz.
Had a name tag and everything.
Went to Western Uniform out in the valley to get it.
And that's what they send you.
It's a great uniform store. It's out on Vineland, yeah. It's one of the valley to get it. That's what they send you. It's a great uniform
store. It's out on Vineland.
Western costume.
And anyway, yeah, it was
Officer Fultz.
It was a good feeling. Did they have like Richard
Gere's uniform from Officer and the Gentleman
in a glass case when you were there?
They had the gentleman's uniform.
He's the most famous
uniform wearer in a while, though, right?
He is, and there's some uniforms.
The cast of A Few Good Men probably had to drive out there.
They're probably like, Jack Nicholson, could you drive out to that costume place in the valley to get your uniform?
Private Benjamin.
Private Benjamin.
They make Goldie Hawn drive out to the valley.
Oh, yeah.
Armando Asante didn't have to.
He wasn't in the military in that film.
He was getting ready for Little Darlings.
When I'm writing, I usually dress like the characters I'm writing.
Really?
So you drank a lot when writing Hangover 2?
No, no.
I usually dress like the characters that I'm writing.
What did they wear in that movie, in Hangover 2?
Well, just regular clothes.
Did you have issues?
Just jeans and shirts.
Did Mike Tyson's tattoo artist give you a hard time for wearing that while you were writing the film?
I'm actually not allowed to speak of that issue right now.
That's been settled.
According to the news, it was settled today.
Yeah, on TMZ, I read it.
Brody is a literate man.
TMZ read that
there was some sort of
we can't discuss it
but there was a settlement
so Warner Brothers
must have paid off
that tattoo guy
that came up with
that amazing
like I don't even get
the argument
like why can't you have
a tattoo that's a parody
of another person's tattoo
but it's
if it's your body
like how can someone else
own that part of your body?
How can they tell you
what to draw on yourself?
It's Mike Tyson's body.
He can do whatever he wants.
That's a real thing for women, too.
Women, it's their bodies.
They can do what they want.
If they want to get a face tattoo,
then fuck the camera.
They could get a tattoo of Mike Tyson's tiger face
on their vagina if they want to.
Brody has a point.
I mean, no, it is art.
I mean, you do have to protect art, I guess.
You have to protect the tattoo guys, too.
And I guess if you're a comedian, they're using a line from you.
But it's surprising they got this far.
What if he had a tattoo of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes
peeing on his
face? Then what would happen?
I have that on my taint.
I say small claims.
Night court, maybe.
Settle it out
in Van Nuys. Night court.
Cheap.
Easy.
So, Scott, you did
You did work on
You did write Hangover 2
Co-wrote it
Yeah, with Craig Mazin and Todd Phillips
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Todd Phillips himself
Yeah
Does he just insist on that
Or does he actually do anything?
He's a great writer for me
Oh, that's awesome
Yeah
And
I backed off of that really fast Scott's mouth couldn't be smaller He's a great writer for me oh that's awesome yeah and uh i backed off of that really
fast couldn't be smaller he's a great writer and a podcast listener apparently uh i think
tom phillips is a underrated writer he gets a lot of credit for being a great director he's an
awesome screenwriter too his grammar is pretty good he's a great speller he spellchecks everything
he has several copies of strunk and Wine, I heard.
Is that true?
He's got every
screenwriting book
in the world,
like Screenwriting 101,
Screenwriting 102.
No.
They didn't make
a Screenwriting 103?
Yeah.
We're waiting.
There's only so much
you need to know.
Exactly, yeah.
After 102 is done.
So that's, well So that's great.
It is great.
Hangover 2 is doing extremely well,
and I would say mostly because Brody Stevens came back
to play a different character.
Where'd you get that uniform?
I went straight to Warner Brothers on that one. They brought me into the... Straight to the top. I went straight to Warner Brothers on that one
they brought me into the
I went straight to Warner Brothers
what's your character in part 2 I still haven't seen it
I play
Kingsley guy but it's
probably Interpol I mean I have a badge
can I have a gun
spoiler alert
should I not do that
I don't give a shit
when you wrote that character everyone's like? I don't give a shit. Oh, okay.
When you wrote that character,
was I... Everyone's like,
now I don't need to see it.
What's the point
in seeing it now?
Yeah, he's Kingsley's guy.
Rhodey Stevens is the twist
in the new movie.
I don't know.
I didn't know
I was going to be in it.
I didn't think
I was going to be in it.
I did my best
at the table read.
I read like six different
parts. I read Tyson's part,
Giamatti's,
Gibson's part.
They bring me in there. You were really hoping you'd get
Tyson's part, weren't you? It's such a funny thing in your
life. In your life, you just said, I did
Tyson's part. I did Giamatti's
part. That's incredible.
Well, you know, it's the table read.
That's the kind of range that neither of those actors have. That's incredible. Well, you know, it's the table read. That's the kind of
range that neither of those actors have.
That's true.
They could play each other. Mike Tyson's a good actor.
Good singer. He was in that
Robert Downey Jr. movie like me
where he slaps him. Does he slap
Robert Downey Jr.?
In Due Date? No.
Black and White.
You're in Black and White?
No, I'm saying that Mike...
He's in the background wearing a uniform.
Just waving.
I can't keep up with Brody Stevens.
No, I just know that Robert
Downey Jr. and Mike... I just do
a lot of connection stuff. I believe in...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That movie
Black and White, there's a terrifying scene
where Robert Downey Jr. goads
Mike Tyson into physically
hitting him. Yeah, it's like real.
Yeah, that's fucking...
Robert Downey Jr. is the craziest
man alive.
To first of all do that, and then also to be in a
movie where he's in a car with Zach Galifianakis.
No, I don't know about that.
I've never been in a car with Zach. Butianakis? No, I don't know about that. I've never been in a car with Zach.
But
back to the point you were making, Brody.
Yes, I'm right here. I have no idea what it
was. I have a question.
Can I ask a question? Please. This is a weird one.
So Hangover 2
is smashing
all records, right? It's like the highest grossing
R-rated opening, right?
Yes! It's actually the highest grossing R-rated opening, right? Yes! It's actually the highest
grossing R-rated comedy of all time
already. Worldwide.
It's already made more than the first one?
Domestic, it's second place behind The Hangover.
Oh, okay. What did second place?
It's second place.
Domestically, it's second place
behind the first Hangover still.
But in the world, it's made more than the first.
So is that weird?
What is that like, that you guys were in and wrote the movie that has made more money than
any other R-rated comedy of all time?
You're essentially like a shitty James Cameron.
They really are.
For reals, right?
That's kind of the situation.
I think James Cameron is a shitty James Cameron.
Oh!
Take that, James!
I know you're there in your weird bunker, making a giant boat. I think James Cameron is a shitty James Cameron. Oh! Take that, James!
I know you're there in your weird bunker.
Making a giant boat.
Four miles under the sea.
Blocking your next scene.
Waiting!
So we can do schtick?
Here we go.
All right.
Terry, I'm doing Calgary Friday.
James Cameron has minions that just sit and listen to every podcast.
And whenever there's a negative mention, they forward that to him.
So now they know.
But I still have caught up.
I still can't get past, you're like a shitty James Cameron.
Yeah, what was that?
I really do.
I think the Hangover movies are better than Avatar,
and I haven't even seen Hangover 2. That was a way of me not.
Apples and oranges, guys.
Let's be honest.
You're right about that, And I fucking hate oranges.
And what are the oranges?
No, of course I love the hangovers
and think that they're better than Avatar.
I'm pursuing being in a movie
that Scott Armstrong wrote
and is going to direct now.
Pursuing?
It's a done deal.
Yeah, we're shooting this fall.
Yeah.
You're never working with James Cameron,
but you're working with the guy
who co-wrote the most successful
R-rated comedy of all time.
But Doug, it's hard for me
to give compliments directly,
so I add a self,
sort of like a deprecating twist to it.
But why is it deprecating to me?
You're like James Cameron,
which isn't funny.
I said you're like a shitty James Cameron.
Right, but then he made the excellent point
that James Cameron is shitty enough on his own
that you don't need to say
you're even shittier than that shitty guy.
And by trying to hide my feelings,
I exposed myself even more.
I roasted James Cameron.
To his face?
Yeah, with the Tom Arnold Beverly Hills roast.
Oh, it was like a private roast.
It wasn't broadcast anywhere.
Oh, it's on YouTube.
It is?
Yeah, about 3,000 hits.
That's how many you need before you can watch it?
3,000 hits?
But I roasted Cameron.
He was...
His assistant was like a big fan of my comedy.
Come out to my little dumpy shows.
And I roasted James Cameron.
I talked to him.
He was like into me after.
And I just...
I probably could have followed up on it
and been an avatar, but...
I would love to see Brody in 3D.
I think maybe you didn't get an avatar
because your act wasn't blue enough.
Oh! I do keep it clean.
Oh, really? Oh?
You know what's funny? You guys just...
You're like a shitty Jerry Seinfeld.
He's good, though. I like him.
I like that the audience
just owed enough
for you to be like
what
yeah
you waited
you were like
if this isn't too much
I'm like
no wait up
what the fuck
I don't know who
these people are
but normally the people
that come to my show
never do that
so as bad as I get
they never owe
and shame on all of you
because that one
as shitty as that one was
it was you know
it was fast no it was good I got right to it I liked it I didn't say no you. Because that one, as shitty as that one was, it was, you know, it was fast.
No, it was good.
I got right to it.
I liked it.
I didn't say, huh?
You didn't.
That's right.
My guests rarely go, oh, into a microphone.
That would be really rude.
They're unmiked, so they can make all the noises they want.
But, and also, I don't pick when the name tags come out, so they also
don't have to suck up to me, whereas you guys
are going to decide who you're playing
for when we play the Leonard Maltin game.
Now let me ask you this.
I don't know if I'm
bailing on something we were talking about.
I think we're ready to move on, right?
I think all threads have been finished.
Well, we can audition for things.
To make the weirdest looking quilt ever.
I grew up in the Valley.
Movies were shot in my apartment.
So, Scott, the...
Scott.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, Doug.
Go ahead, Scott.
You have a new movie that not only have you...
You've written or co-written?
I did a rewrite on it.
Rewrite?
Yeah.
It's by this great team, Gagerman and Waller.
Really great writers.
Oh, yeah.
I love Gagerman.
Mike Gagerman, Andrew Waller.
Gagerman.
But you're going to direct this film?
Yeah, in the fall.
And what's it called?
Road to Nardo. Road to Nardo? Starring T, in the fall. And what's it called? Road to Nardo.
Road to Nardo?
Starring T.J. Miller.
And who plays Nardo?
Thomas Middleton.
Not me.
You?
No, not me.
You're not the title character.
He's going to save...
No.
You're the road.
But, to be fair, exactly.
There's a road character and there's a Nardo character,
and I'm the road.
All right.
Like in Yogi Bear.
Exactly like Yogi Bear. I was sort of the road to you know the end of that film we're actually gonna shoot Yogi Bear
just a cover title like blue desert when they made Empire Strikes Back or
whatever that would be incredible if we released the film and it was just
Yogi Bear 2. Everybody was like,
fuck you guys!
And we didn't make any money. We were like, why did we do
this? Scott saw the first Yogi Bear
and realized where things needed to be changed
and did the rewrite and now he's going to
direct it. And now it's about two guys
chasing after their roommate in Mexico.
But they're not bears?
Well, he's Boo Boo.
Listen, so I want to bring up an interesting sidebar.
When you said that the reason they'd say
that Justin Timberlake is,
like the reason they'd hire him to play Boo Boo
is because that might sell more tickets to the movie,
and I found that insanely suspect
because why would any children or their parents
care that Justin Timberlake's the voice of a character in this movie? Suspense. when you get a chance. They do not show Justin Timberlake at all. Like somebody
in, you know,
Show Business HQ
decided that he
is a liability
and so they're not
pushing his name
as being involved
with Bad Teacher.
I feel like that's
overthinking it.
Because here's the thing.
But seriously,
the second billed actor
is not in any
of the commercials.
It's like that
or Cameron Diaz is hot.
Yeah.
And Jason Segel says the funny thing to the little black kid.
You've seen the end of the show.
I've seen him in the commercials.
It's just him being like, no, Kobe Bryant is the best.
And everyone's supposed to be like, I'll see it.
Deal.
I'm just saying, there's something weird going on with Timberlake.
Maybe it's because he's got another movie coming out this summer,
but it's coming out later.
So why would they care about overexposing him before that other movie?
I'm sure these marketing guys are really worried about his next film.
Yeah.
I also just like how much time you spent thinking about Bad Teacher.
Well, you know, I could have spent about 30 seconds thinking about it earlier
and then brought it up now.
It didn't take me that long
to jump to the conclusion that
they're trying to hide him for some weird
reason because he's not in any
of the commercials. It's like
if they did a commercial for the bucket list and you
only saw Morgan Freeman.
It doesn't make any fucking
sense and I came
to you for answers, TJ.
I want your help with my obsession I want to take
this moment to apologize and really mull over and I think maybe Justin Timberlake wasn't as good in
the film as the studio executives thought he was going to be so or the director and so they cut him
a little bit more out of the trailer that doesn't mean that he's a liability to film it just means
they didn't have a lot of good footage on him right, let's party
like in the case of the bucket list, they had no good
footage of Jack Nicholson, so that's why they took him out
is that a real thing?
no, I'm saying that bucket list
was a shit movie, it doesn't matter what
footage you have, you want to push your stars
and I was just going back to
Yogi Bear and how hard they pushed
Justin Timberlake with the voice of Boo Boo just going back to Yogi Bear and how hard they pushed it just to different like was the voice of boo-boo
but anyway go oh Yogi
like it's not like no absolutely
needed him to do that absolutely but I
think there is a scenario in America where there's a family
and the teenage daughter is like
what do we want to go see everybody and the parents
like we have to see Yogi Bear because your sons are
awful and young and this is our terrible
life and then she's
like oh Yogi Bear? Yeah, Justin
Timberlake's in that. He's cute. I'll see it.
That's what he's for in that movie.
And then the dad's like, only his voice
is in it. It's not that cute. Yeah, yeah.
And then the girl goes into her room and slams
the door. Yeah, and then she
starts yelling at her teddy bear and kicking it
and hitting it and cutting it.
Texting her friends like, do you want to do cocaine
at the same time over Skype?
That sounds like
a lot of fun. Cocaine over Skype?
Are you having fun? I think
so! I think you froze
an hour ago!
Why aren't you moving?
It's a high chat joke.
Why aren't you moving?
I'll be in Calgary Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Calgary?
Yeah, I'm going up there with Neil Hamburger and Tig.
Then I'll be in Dublin and Montreal.
Go ahead, we're fine.
Just have to let people know I'm somebody, you know, myself.
I'm not, I'm just doing, you know, gotta protect Brody.
Hey, hey.
I'm just doing, you know, got to protect Brody.
Hey, hey.
I thought in booking the two of you, TJ and Brody,
I thought it'd be interesting to see who alphas out and hogs the microphone.
And then I forgot that one of you is TJ Miller.
And that you always win in these situations.
Now you openly just told us.
No, he's good.
We're both alpha male assholes.
I didn't add the word asshole.
I just said alpha.
All right.
Because Brody's not.
I like Alpha Beta.
It's a good grocery store.
Alpha Beta, I'm local.
Don't question me.
Okay, they shot the movie Roller.
Is there a grocery store here called Alphabeta?
Yeah, thank you.
Used to be.
Like how long ago?
Yeah, when L.A. mattered.
Thank you.
Don't crap on my town.
From here.
Born in the valley.
Alphabeta.
Nostalgia is dangerous, bro.
Research. Research. Then you'll be in a movie, maybe. nostalgia beta nostalgia is dangerous brody research
research
then you'll be in a movie
maybe
that's how he got
all of his acting gigs
is through research
helps
I have two questions
for you Scott
first of all
why are you wearing
a cock on your head
and
I don't really want
an answer to that one.
It's just a rooster.
And is there a part
for Brody Stevens
in Road to Nardo?
Sure.
Depends on what kind
of research he does.
I'll go to Western Costume.
I'll get a uniform.
I could play...
I'll send you to the valley.
Just come back dressed
as something
and we'll figure out
a part for you.
I'm a sailor.
Maybe they stop by the ocean.
If I may be so bold...
Which way's Nardo?
Oh, hey, boys.
Oh, I'm gay now?
I can do that.
I can try that.
But if Nardo...
Oh, I'm an Indian.
Nardo.
If Nardo and TJ have a run-in with the cops,
may I be so bold to suggest that Brody and I could be the cops?
Like we could be partners.
I like it.
Partners?
I like it.
Partners.
Yeah, gay cops.
And then you guys walk off screen.
You guys stop what happens and you walk off screen,
but then the camera just follows you
and the rest of the movie is just about you guys
and your adventure.
That'd be so smart.
There's no reason to dwell on TJ in this movie.
And then we'll cut the trailer together
and it'll just be all Cameron Diaz and not you guys.
Justin Timberlake's in the back.
Yeah.
Help me.
He's in for one second more than you.
I'd get it if it was all Cameron Diaz,
but Justin must be like,
Jason Segel, you fucker.
Because it just looks like it's those two in the movie.
I like that Timberlake has big black glasses on like he's a nerd.
Yeah.
It's like, Timberlake, look at these glasses.
I'm such a nerd.
It's like that Taylor Swift video where she's got big glasses on.
You're like, what a fucking cow.
What an ugly piece of shit.
Oh, she took the glasses off. She's gorgeous. I thought you were going to say. Oh, she took the glasses off. She's gorgeous.
I thought you were going to say,
oh, she took the glasses off.
Still an ugly cow.
Who can't see.
She's blind.
She's a blind old cow.
She's blind and ugly.
Taylor Swift is America's sweetheart.
She ruined Kanye West.
Officially? Yeah, I think so okay she's like a shitty Missy
Elliot so funny for so many reasons
all you guys we have to play the Leonard Maltin game. Yeah! I have to.
Scott and Brody have never played before,
but Brody is...
What the fuck is going on?
Yeah, right?
The name tags come out,
it's a little scary.
I promised Twitterers,
people on Twitter,
that I would get a picture
of the audience
with the name tags,
so let me do that
really quick.
You can't even really tell.
You promised Twitter
in general? Yeah. Hey, Twitter. Hey, Twitter. I'll't even really tell. You promised Twitter in general.
Yeah.
Hey, Twitter.
Hey, Twitter.
I'll send you a photo.
I promise I'll do this.
Oh, this is a good shot.
I know.
I'm going to pick.
You know what?
I got to say, the iPhone ones, not the drawn ones,
but the ones that are just like, hello, my name is, you know.
Yeah, there's an iPhone app that's a name tag,
and some people use that.
And I personally wouldn't choose it, but that's just me.
You know, I also wouldn't choose that giant cock that's smiling over there.
That says Trevor.
That says Trevor on it.
You know what I like to imagine?
That that is to scale his dick.
Are we allowed to show?
And he sometimes is like, you want some of this Trevor dick? And she's like, what? And he's like, it's written on the bottom of my dick. And he sometimes is like, do you want some of this Trevor dick? And she's like, what?
And he's like, it's written on the bottom of my dick.
Is that a baseball? Jordan
with the baseball? Jordan's here every week
with the baseball. He'd be satisfied
if you guys just signed it. You don't necessarily have to
pick him. Because you won one week,
right? Oh, you've never won yet. Okay, so
forget I said that. Here's Jordan's
in play. Here's an attractive girl that just
wrote her name on her hand. Everything's keep that going. Here's an attractive girl that just wrote her name
on her hand.
Everything's been handed to me
all my life.
I'm cute.
I have to do nothing.
I can just write it on my hand.
The penis though,
doesn't it look like
a big penis
attached to a butt?
I know those are supposed
to be balls
but it looks like a butt.
I know who I want.
Okay, go get your name tag.
I think we gotta go. I think it's a
really original thing.
Is this
like a boring part for the podcast? It is a little
bit, but just go physically pick
which name tag you want to play for. Like, take it from
them. Just take it?
Yeah, get up, Brody. Okay.
Now I'm learning. He's learning.
I'm learning. I'm checking
it out. I see a penis.
TJ picked out some nunchucks
that say Dave on them.
Warren, David, I'm a shithead.
Oh, he's bringing her over.
Oh, you saw the
nunchuck. Let's get another chair for her.
You guys.
He physically brought her over.
I think I'm going to go for the baseball.
Jordan's baseball.
He's been very supportive.
Is this a major league baseball?
Yes, it is.
No, it's official minor league.
Good enough.
Yeah, it's minor league.
It's good enough.
I only use major league, but that's me.
Brody plays baseball.
Alright, so...
Love playing catch.
So Scott is playing for, what's your name?
Erica.
Erica.
And she's written...
I'll speak for you.
Eric A.
Scott just goes, I'll speak for you.
Yeah. You do know that you have to marry
This is like a wedding bond
You coming up here with him in his religion
Means that you guys are formally wed
We're podcast married
Yeah
If you have a podcast you can marry people
It's like being a ship captain
Brody has Jordan's baseball Jordan's tried several times to win On the podcast, you can marry people. It's like being a ship captain.
Brody has Jordan's baseball.
Jordan's tried several times to win,
and he's got signatures of a lot of the guests we've had on the show.
Paul F. Tompkins, we see. Bill Simmons from last week.
Doug.
Oh, I'm on there?
Yeah.
And so, okay, so you're playing for Jordan and his ball.
JD Salinger signed it.
And TJ's playing for Dave. And T.J.'s playing
for Dave. And Dave had
nunchucks. And I just thought
this was a really original idea, Dave.
And I also like to think that when you beat someone up
because Dave is written across both of them
I like to think when you go and you split them to beat
somebody up, you go, you're about to get your ass
whooped by Dave.
But it's like, Dave, Dave, Dave.
Dave, Dave, Dave.
But it's like half Dave's.
I was just trying to get into your turn lane.
Dave, Dave, Dave.
A guy in a car who has dumb jokes.
Get out of my turning lane!
Dave, Dave, Dave.
Louder plays better
on the podcast, right?
What am I doing?
I'm sorry. I was just getting excited about playing
the Leonard Moulton game.
Yes. Are we supposed to apologize?
Preparing mentally.
We'll start with
Brody. Okay.
Because you've heard the show. Yes, I've
heard the show. And we'll work around this way. We'll go to TJ
and then to Scott so he gets
to kind of hear how things are
going before he has to play.
Would you like, as a category,
would you like to play Potent Potables?
That's movies
where there's some sort of
alcohol in the title.
Or would you like I Just Got Back
from Denver, Colorado
where I had a lovely time performing
at Comedy Works there. Would you like
films that are filmed in
or take place in Colorado?
Fuck yeah.
Because you're from Denver, right, TJ?
That was my major in film school.
Denver, Colorado.
Colorado movies.
Colorado movies.
Yeah, God damn it.
And for your third category,
celebrating a birthday today,
is Juliette Lewis, who of
course appears in one of the...
One guy, sadly.
I don't want to give it away, but a film that's got...
Yeah.
Can I say that?
What movie she's in?
I guess so, but that might be one of the movies.
Yeah, that's it.
All right.
So I'll do...
Potent Potables, Colorado, Juliette Lewis.
Juliette Lewis.
All right.
Strong.
She's from the Valley.
Old School isn't one of the movies. We grew up together, actually.
Old School isn't a movie.
Really?
Yeah.
You should be an expert in this category.
Why don't...
Would you like a Juliette Lewis movie from 1992, 1996, or 1999?
96.
All right.
Leonard Mullen gives this movie
two stars. I could not disagree
more. Leonard missed the boat
on this one. I like this movie.
I want a buzzer. Can I buzz in?
No, no. You have to wait until it
comes around to you.
Just be patient with your wife.
He says this movie certainly works on a visceral level.
I don't know why, if it's visceral,
I don't know why it's not worth more than two stars,
but he says that.
And he also says,
how much you can take will depend on your GQ.
And then in parentheses, gross out quotient.
Did he make that up?
He's a very talented writer.
Two stars.
Okay.
Where's the O in that?
The category, of course,
is Juliette Lewis movies.
And there are
15 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
BS.
I think I can honestly do it.
Don't lie to me.
My instincts, my picking up energy.
I think I know the movie.
Oh.
You want to go all the way to zero?
But if I say one and somebody says zero, I could get beaten. You could, yes. You could go all the way to zero? But if I say one and somebody says zero, I could get beaten.
You could, yes.
You could go all the way to zero.
You can go into the negative names.
And I am in the game, so you better watch your back.
What do I do if I think I know it?
What do you recommend, Doug?
I'd say, if I had to recommend, I'd say go zero names
and hope that TJ doesn't also I'd say go zero names and hope
that TJ doesn't also know it
and go negative names.
That's where you add names that aren't in the movie.
No, no, no.
Negative names
is you have to name them from the
top build person down.
So if you know the top build person,
then maybe you should go negative one names.
Because I doubt, I don't think TJ can go negative two,
but I can't say for sure.
I think I can go negative one.
All right.
Is that one Julia?
No.
So now you can go negative two if you want.
I don't imagine you would want to.
Is negative one Julia Lewis?
Because I can name her in the movie.
Are you guys just going to sit here and ask me questions?
I'm going to say name it.
You know, when you ask Alex Trebek a question, it's the answer.
I'm going to say name that movie.
You are the Alex Trebek.
All right, he says name it.
So what's the name of the movie?
My Feeling Based Off Energies.
Is it? Natural Born Based Off Energies. Is it
Natural Born Killers?
No.
Are you serious?
I am serious.
So TJ gets the point.
Nicely done, TJ.
Can I guess?
Yeah, you can for fun.
What do you think it is?
California?
With a K?
I think so.
No.
I think it's Cape Fear.
No, it's not that either.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting with the
negative one name would have been Harvey Keitel.
Negative two would be
George Clooney.
From Dusk Till Dawn, yes.
That's right. From Dusk Till Dawn.
Two stars from Len. I like that movie.
I saw that too. I don't know. I like that movie. I saw that, too.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm alone.
Cheech Marin has a speech about pussy that's very entertaining.
Yeah, I think that might have been the part where Leonard Maltin was like,
I think this is... Oh, my!
The GQ on this is...
I'm grossed out by all these pussy references.
Robert Rodriguez, correct it. Yeah, that's right.
My GQ meter's
going through the roof. Yeah, and especially
your wife is here. Be respectful.
Erica's
his new wife. Yeah.
My podcast wife. I love, this is a
first, that a person
is the name tag, and that
she's physically sitting next to him.
Are you,
can I get you anything?
She's got a beer.
What else does she need? I got a fucking Budweiser.
What else would I ever need?
I got a Budweiser
and I got my name on my hand.
It's the perfect,
yeah,
perfect lubricant.
Maybe you just get her
like a driver
for the way home.
Did you ever get
a beer soaked handy?
That's what's happening right now.
All right, so TJ got the point.
And I think Scott understands how we play, sort of.
So let me start with Scott on this next round.
I didn't understand the negative part.
It's tricky.
Okay, never mind.
Let's go. I'll talk you through it. Okay. All right,. It's tricky. Okay, never mind. Let's go.
I'll talk you through it.
Okay.
All right.
But let's have you
pick out a category.
Would you like a movie
that has the word
who, what, where, when,
why, or how in the title?
Would you like a movie
that has a state in the title
like California
like he mentioned earlier
with a K?
Or in theaters now,
that's movies that are in
a lot of theaters right now.
Like over a thousand theaters State
States
Alright
Would you like a state movie
From 1978
1991
Or 1995
95
Okay
Leonard Maltin gives us
Two stars
I think I'd go
Two and a half or three
He says You like everything more than him.
I kind of do.
He calls this movie stylized,
he calls it violent,
and he calls it absolutely empty.
Sixteen names
from this movie from 1995 that has a state in the title.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
S.A.?
Three names.
Three names.
Strong opening bit.
Now we come to T.J. Miller.
Violent and empty.
Yes, like your life.
Fuck you.
I am so alone.
Name that movie.
Name that movie?
Oh, my God.
All right.
Brody's turn.
It wasn't Brody's turn.
What do you mean?
It goes around this way?
We started before.
No, Brody said it.
T.J. said to Brody, name that movie.
Okay, put down the knife.
Listeners at home, you don't see what's happening.
There's a man with a Bowie knife,
and he is pissed that Brody wasn't next.
I fucked up his week.
I want to apologize.
You know what?
The audience is right.
The audience is listening.
THX.
Yes. So we go to Brody. The audience is listening. THX.
Yes.
So we go to Brody.
Brody can do whatever he wants at this point.
I'm thinking about the movie.
The year.
The energy.
There's a state in the title.
Correct?
Yes. State in the title.
And it's a Julia Lewis movie.
He says three names.
Okay.
I went the wrong way and went with TJ.
Thank God
the audience stopped it.
Sometimes
they don't step up. They just let it happen.
If I heard two names
that I'm thinking of,
I could do it.
So you should bid two names then.
But I may not be right with the movie.
But I have a hunch.
Those are all the possibilities.
I could either get this wrong
or I could get this right.
Well, I don't, you know,
Scott said three.
Which way am I going to go?
No, but if I'm saying four,
I want Scott to be involved.
I want to be two and like,
I guess, and do, you know,
he said he could do in three.
That's pretty, pretty cool.
So you could say name that movie
or you could say two names.
Yeah, but I don't want to show off.
Don't be afraid of
not getting in the spotlight. Yeah, got it. We locked in, you and I are cops in Road to Nardo, so don't want to show off Don't be afraid of Don't be afraid We locked in
You and I are cops in
So don't worry about it
Play to win
That's what I recommend
Could you read the review again please
Not all of it
Just read the article
I'll read the part about
How it's
Stylized,
violent, absolutely empty.
Two stars from Leonard.
Okay. 1995. It's got a name of a state
in the title. I think I can name that movie.
In how many names? Two
names. Okay. Then we go to TJ.
He's probably going to
do the same play he did before.
Might change it up. Here, I got
a couple questions.
You can either answer it.
You're not allowed
to have questions.
It has a state in the title.
Mm-hmm.
Can you read the description
one more time?
Stylized Violet.
Hold on, let me see
if I can remember.
It's what I'm about to do to you.
I'm about to do
Stylized Violet.
Empty.
But it's going to be empty.
I'm not going to feel good about it.
Is it a Republican or Democratic state?
I say Brody, name that state.
I don't know if this is a Republican or a Democrat state.
Name the state.
All right.
Purple state.
You ready for your two names?
Your two names are Don Cheadle and Jenny McCarthy.
I know. I know, I know.
I think TJ's about to take this whole thing.
Because that's tough.
I couldn't, you know, if I wasn't looking right at it,
I couldn't name a movie that had Don Cheadle and Jenny McCarthy.
The fuck kind of movie is that?
It's a movie with a state in the title, I'll tell you that much.
Stylized.
1995.
I was thinking
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Because it has a state in the
title.
So you had a good, yeah, it was a reasonable
guess. No, but I listened to the review.
Is that close to a year? And it's stylized.
It is? Yeah, it's a remake.
It's violent and it's empty.
Yeah, it's empty.
It's stylized.
I don't know how stylized it was.
Renee Zellweger was in it.
Matthew McConaughey.
A remake.
Stylized.
Chainsaw's really airbrushed.
So you don't have a guess?
Just think of any other movie that has a state in the title
that might be worth a shot.
Like if you just
blurt out
Miami Blues
of course that's not a state.
That's a city.
But you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I use that as an example
because I know
it wouldn't blow anything.
She's
I'm going to say
Just like Battle Los Angeles
doesn't ruin it
But you get the idea
Come on
You're playing for Jordan
He's never won
I'm Jordan
I'm trying to feel the energy
Illinois something
I don't know
There's got to be a
Oh there's so many great movies
With an Illinois in the title
Illinois Chainsaw Massacre Why don't they do that? he's with an Illinois in the title.
Illinois Chainsaw Massacre.
Why don't they do that?
They could have a fucking long run if they just change the state every time.
All right, I'll read some more names.
Does anyone in the audience think they know it?
It's a hard game, Doug.
Not Escape from New York, no.
Are you just recording it on your phone?
Turn that shit off.
I'm serious.
Oh, tension.
Don't sit there just recording it.
Here, use the numchucks.
Are you waiting for me to come over there?
Like, why are you still...
Okay, good. I've already stopped.
You're still holding it and it's still got the light
up in the corner? You are holding it directly
at us and it has a red light on it.
In his defense, I think he's excited that Eric is up here.
Oh, you were recording her?
Oh, I apologize.
That's normal.
That's normal.
I got your back.
I think we're all in agreement.
I don't blame him for recording her.
I just didn't want people just sitting there recording the show,
because it's a podcast for a reason.
That's right.
We're here to make fucking money, man.
We're here to get that fucking green.
Yeah.
We'll give you that.
We have a brand.
Here we go.
Catch.
McDonald's doesn't let you just cook fucking Big Macs.
McDonald's doesn't let you just like cook fucking Big Macs okay so we're already job what's happening oh so no where the audience takes they know it
no we already been through that whole California there you go. What's it doing to everyone you're dead? You said that. I fucked up.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
David.
David.
Yes.
David.
David.
David.
David.
Positive energy.
Start filming.
Unprecedented.
Yes.
Shuttle down.
Unprecedented.
Completely confused.
In a DLM history book.
That's a perfectly
good reason to hit me
in the head with your microphone
and spill my water all over my
notes. In both cases, you were absolutely
right for doing that.
I love it. There's so many things I love
about that moment.
He wasn't sure if Denver was a Republican or Democratic state.
Every step of the way, I was just looking at it like, yeah, Denver's a state.
Making jokes about how Miami and Los Angeles aren't states.
He didn't want to ruin it.
What kind of idiot
If I were Tracy Morgan's son
I would stab myself
Oh shit
But that was good that you guessed it anyway
Even though
That's why most of the audience wasn't even close to figuring it out.
But you're like, I bet you he's thinking
of things to do with Denver when you're dead.
Was Juliette Lewis in the other movie?
Maybe.
Yeah, the Juliette Lewis movies I had
were Husbands and Wives, From Dusk Till Dawn,
and The Other Sister.
Which, if you haven't seen that,
do yourself a favor.
Because that movie's hilarious.
And it's a comedy, but
the parts that aren't funny are just
not the drama parts.
What?
My world has been rocked.
Alright. I'm going to stop being
nervous about my performance.
Oh, yeah.
There's no reason to.
This game doesn't even make any sense.
So what are we going to do?
That's right.
How does it win?
What do we do?
We just have to throw that one out and play through.
That's right.
Oh, because I totally would have won, right?
Well, because he didn't get it, but also I set him up to not get it I was guessing
States yeah yeah I was so psyched I've never won and I have such a great I know
cities I was just in Denver a couple weeks ago hang out a Coors Fee I was
just in Denver that's where I got the genius idea oh yeah I shouldn't plan
this game when I'm high I shouldn't I shouldn't plan this game when I'm high. I shouldn't read it
when I'm high.
I have to stop
getting high.
I like the idea
that you walk around
Denver just looking
at the buildings
and stuff being like,
this is the greatest
state I've ever been.
Man, Denver is
a kick-ass state.
We should use it
in some sort of category.
The state I was in
at the time was drunk,
but it goes to your head there.
I had such a good time there,
I was just like, Denver's a fucking state now.
That's how much I love it.
That's how much I love it.
It is, it's a great state.
They smoke a lot of stuff.
They're more like big, huge super stores, that stuff.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's a great weed state.
Denver's a great weed state. Denver's a great weed state.
It's the greatest state of all time.
So who picked that category? You did?
Yes.
Okay, so let's start over.
We've got to wrap this up, though, so we've got to play fast, TJ.
Speed round.
Speed round.
So take states off the map.
States off the map.
That's not in play. Continents map. That's not in play.
Continents only.
It's not in play anymore.
It's just a blank globe.
Let me get my water.
I'm getting cotton mouthy.
States off the map.
It's topography only.
All right.
It's just ocean.
Would you like the films of Michael Rooker?
Very popular category.
No one ever picks.
Who, what, where, why, and why or how?
Or in theaters now and and again
it could michael rooker movies could be it could be movies of anybody because i apparently can't
can't program this thing it can also be movies with this city's names and It's just another movie with Denver in the title. It could be movies with the word
Michael or
Rook or it could
be actors from ER.
Michael Rooker,
Who, What, Where, When, Why, or How
or In Theaters Now. Which one would you like?
We'll start with you. We're just playing that
last point over again.
Who, What, When, Where,
Why, How, whatever. One, why, how, whatever.
One of those is in the title.
I'm looking at them and I can
verify.
From 1980, 1991, or 2008?
1980.
Wow.
Went all the way back.
Leonard Maltin calls this movie a bomb.
There's no way it's that
bad. I haven't seen it in a while, but I didn't
mind it.
He says that it's a
wow,
this is a short review.
He says that a certain artist's
music can't save this dreadful
comedy.
And he says it was re-edited and toned down when it played on network TV.
Like, well, what isn't, Leonard?
Yeah.
They added some new music.
Now we edited it.
They added some new music to it, which was us, but other than that.
And there are nine names.
How many names do you think get it in?
Seven.
Seven names he says.
Now we go to Brody.
Caution to the wind.
Brody?
Four names.
Okay.
I think I know where this is headed.
TJ?
I'm from the state of Denver.
Name that movie.
Yeah, okay, good.
So the conclusion is going to be the same as it was before,
but at least I didn't fuck it up this time, theoretically.
It's a bomb.
It's from 1980, and the category was it's got who, what, when, where,
why, or how in the title.
the category was, it's got who, what, when,
where, why, or how in the title.
Your four names are Craig T. Nelson,
Mark Metcalf,
Leonard Frey,
or Fry, I think it's Frey, though.
You need seven, man. And Raphael Campos.
Those are your four names.
I'd say name any movie that has
when, where, why,
what, who, or how,
or Denver in the
title.
Say, just take a
guess. I haven't even told
everybody what we're playing for.
So let me do that while you think, Brody.
Craig T. Nelson vehicle, 1980.
I wouldn't call it a Craig T. Nelson
vehicle because he's the ninth
build person. Oh, he's the ninth build.
Oh, you go backwards.
Okay, here we
go.
Somebody in the audience. Okay, do I want me to guess?
Here we go. The Rose.
Someone is going to win
a copy of
The Hangover, signed by Scott Armstrong.
He wrote on there, I did not write this.
But Brody Stevens signed it and wrote, enjoy it.
And someone else is going to also win a Whoop Monkey, as is a member of the crowd right now.
Because I'm going to shoot it into the crowd.
Over here. Whoop Monkey. Whoop Monkey. member of the crowd right now because I'm going to shoot it into the crowd.
Over here.
Blue monkey.
Blue monkey. I forgot to pull the thing that makes it scream.
Oh, the rose doesn't count.
Gotcha. I'm still thinking.
Okay, yeah, keep thinking because the rose doesn't have
who, what, when, where, why.
I need to see that.
Or, I mean, it should have,
that movie should have been called
The Rose and then in parentheses, Why?
You'll get a copy of Doug Betts'
A Professional Human Reader.
You'll get my friend David Huntsberger
contributed his CD that just came out
called Humanitis.
You get a Doug Loves Movies sticker.
And you also, it all comes in a weird Warner Brothers computer bag thing that I got.
An all-expensive paid trip to the state of Denver.
Yes.
I'll go along with that since it's not a state.
TJ and Brody are discussing what the potential answer could be.
I just keep saying, I'm so bad at this game.
I'm so bad at this game.
Brody, you have a light answer I'm not going to give it to you.
Can I say my prize?
Because you already guessed the rose.
Can I put my prize in?
Oh, yeah.
The Clint Eastwood movie with the monkey.
No, that's not it.
What's your prize?
What's TJ going to contribute?
This is, I was just in New Orleans Orleans and this is a fistful of cash
from the Hustler Barely Legal Club.
Wait, I don't understand.
So put it in there.
How much would you guesstimate that is?
About $300,000.
And I want to thank you
and so does Yogi Bear.
It looks like it might be like $20 or something,
but that's cool.
No, that's a fistful of cash. All right. No, that's a fistful of cash.
All right.
$20 is not a fistful of cash.
So your guess is every which way but loose or every which way you can?
I'll let you have both because they would both be wrong.
Decent guess, though, Doug, would you say?
You want to compliment?
You did come up with a movie that does have one of those words in the title.
From 1980-ish.
Yeah, maybe. Does anybody
think they know it?
Let me say some more names. R.G.
Armstrong.
That's my dad. Rene
Abajonwa.
I love her work. The late Bruno
Kirby. It wasn't that
a loss. Bill Murray.
Here we go. Who is that?
Bill Murray.
Who? We're the
Buffalo Roam. That's right. We're the
Buffalo Roam. We're the Buffalo Roam.
Peter Boyle. That's good. Dave.
Ray, who won?
Dave's the winner, yeah. Dave won!
Good job, Dave.
Come get your prize, Dave.
Come get it.
Congratulations, Dave from Denver.
He's back or no?
Yeah, yeah.
Those are good nunchucks.
It looks like Rob Hubel.
Don't give a gift to a guy who just threw a fistful of cash.
He already had his name on those just so he wouldn't lose them.
Get out of here.
You can have them.
Take them back, dude.
Take them back.
Take your nunchucks back.
Take them back and put them in a place where you keep the things that hurt other people. You can have them. Take them back, dude. Take them back. Take your nunchucks back. You take them back and you put them
in a place where you keep the things
that hurt other people. That makes me laugh.
How about a big hand for Erica?
Jordan, come here and write down.
Erica and Jordan.
Jordan, here's your ball. Write down who you want
me to call a shithead.
Because, you know, it could be... I'll call anybody
a shithead. Do you hear that?
She said, could it be you
for calling out my boyfriend?
No,
yelling at my boyfriend,
she said.
Yelling at my boyfriend.
I totally chewed him out
for that,
but I thought he was
one of those people
that...
reinforce that thing
where it's like,
if you're attractive,
then you get your way.
Yeah,
I know.
Yeah,
come on up.
Right.
But then I didn't let her talk.
That was good.
Thank you.
That was cool.
Oh, hey, I should mention that I'll be at Tipsy Crow in San Diego
during Comic-Con Thursday, July 21st.
And thanks once again to my guest, Scott Armstrong.
I'm going to be at Arnold Beach this month.
Brody Stevens.
Thank you.
Positive energy.
Nice job, Brody.
I tried.
And TJ Miller. Yeah job, Brody. I tried. And TJ Miller.
Yeah, thanks, guys.
TJ Miller!
Star of Road to Nardo coming out.
Have you guys got a release date yet?
2012.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometime in 2012.
May 21st.
Exciting.
Straight to IFC.
If we're lucky. that's a good channel
they show good stuff on there
okay and as always
Doug Benson is a shithead
for yelling at somebody's boyfriend
to not sit and videotape
the entire performance
which is generally against the rules
in all places where performances are happening,
but he's above that,
and I deserve to be a shithead.
And...
And George W. Bush is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk.
He hides a cold, his view and crowd was big.
Skip Coggy, there's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies!