Doug Loves Movies - Todd Glass, Chris Gethard, DeAnne Smith, Chad Daniels and Ron Bennington guest
Episode Date: July 31, 2018Live from the Just For Laughs Fest in Montreal, Doug welcomes Todd Glass, Chris Gethard, DeAnne Smith, Chad Daniels and Ron Bennington to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/priv...acy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
I don't know where I was going anyway.
Hey, everybody!
Save your energy. It's warm in here.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Coming to you once again from the, let me say this right, Hyatt Grand Salon Opera.
As part of the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal, Quebec, Canada!
Canada!
All right, we are doing it.
It's, what is it?
It's Saturday.
Let's turn over to the right side of the page.
July 28th, 2018.
And I know there's a lot of festival badges here.
I'm wearing mine proudly.
But let me see what the name tag situation is.
We got the incloheables.
I saw that one on the internet. Good job, Chloe,
if that's your name.
Instead of Amadeus,
Amadee is in the
front row. I like that. I saw your dude
wears Carmel.
Your name
is Carmel? Okay.
Am I saying it right? It's not
Carmel? Your name is
Carmel?
Pfft. Am I saying it right? It's not Carmel? Your name is Carmel? JP, the extraterrestrial.
I get that one.
Full metal John kit.
We got lots of good ones.
This is going to be good.
All right.
And, you know, I guess you can hold up your festival badge if you want to go that route.
What's that Pulp Fiction one say?
Pulp Erection?
Okay.
We are really holding up that hard and firm. Yeah, look at that.
That sign is erect. Pulp Erection. Thanks for bringing those, you guys. From the corrections department, it's Captain Corelli's Mandolin, but for some reason
I prefer
Captain Morelli's Mandolin.
I also prefer Mr. Holland's
Hospice, so what do I know?
Doug Plugs,
lots of shows coming up
starting Wednesday in Traverse City,
Michigan. For all my dates
and deets, go to DougLovesMovies.com
That's DougLovesmovies.com
Yeah!
Come on!
I love
knowing who the regular listeners are.
I mean, I guess
I could just assume they're all front and center
because that's where most of the name tags were.
I brought a prize bag. Somebody's gonna
win the contents of this bag today
and it's real good stuff.
Plus, I've got five amazing guests who all probably brought amazing stuff for the bag, because that's how they live their lives.
Me, on the other hand, I grabbed a disposable poncho that they were giving out here,
because the first night I got here, there were some thunderstorm situations, but I'm not a pussy, so I didn't wear it.
I'm like, I'm going to save that for the prize bag.
Also in the hotel room, I guess, you know,
people know this is a noisy festival,
so they give you some earplugs.
These are classic 3M earplugs, it says on there.
I love that concept.
Wow, those earplugs, they were classic.
Talk about timeless earplugs.
Those earplugs, they were classic.
Talk about timeless earplugs.
Douglo's movie sticker.
This crazy thing that I got, where did I get this?
I got this at Comic-Con.
The new season of Better Call Saul is coming soon.
And this is a Bob Odenkirk mask.
I wish I could do a Bob Odenkirk impression. I'd hold this up and pretend to be him.
And then a Douglas Movies t-shirt,
plus all the stuff brought by my five incredible guests.
Let's get them out here.
Please give it up for Chris Gethard, Deanne Smith,
Ron Bennington, Chad Daniels, and Todd Glass.
Thank you. and Todd Glass. Yes!
Wow. Wow, it's so bright.
Todd Glass always likes a more subdued lighting scheme at his shows.
And I'm starting to think maybe we would all like it better.
Is it possible to bring the house down just a little?
Everyone's going to go, oh.
It's going to be a little bit more relaxing in here.
Oh, look at that
Oh yeah that's nice
Oh that's nice
Todd
Always go back up
Todd likes to go
To complete dark
Maybe
All the way down
Why not
Todd you didn't bring
Any gels we can pop in there
I have them
I know
Yeah
Todd really likes
To change it up
When he gets there
But let's meet my guests
Individually
And give them all
As much of a round of applause
as we can muster.
Starting with first time guest on the show,
Deanne Smith is here, everybody.
Hi, everybody.
Oh, thank you.
God dang it.
She can be reached at Deanne underscore Smith on Twitter.
So some other damn Deanne Smith got to it?
They must have.
And I've only discovered recently,
I think the underscore is not like a cool way to do things.
Round of applause if the underscore is not a cool way to do things.
Don't be shy.
And a woo?
The woo was hurtful.
She probably has a real stupid name where she doesn't need one.
No one has this name.
But here's my dumb advice.
If you have to have an underscore, put it after Smith.
So then when people start typing Deanne Smith, yours will come up, if not first, close to it.
And it'll be easier to find.
Okay.
I'm going to switch the whole thing over.
I think it's not hard to do on Twitter.
She, of course, is a Toronto comedy phenom.
Phenom?
Yeah, that's what I call everybody.
Don't get too excited.
You're a phi underscore nom.
Yeah.
Ouch.
But you did some shows here in Montreal.
Do you have any more tonight?
I do.
Okay, tell us about it. I do, but you tonight? I do. Okay. Tell us about it.
I do, but you don't need to come. Don't worry about it. I think we're doing great.
Come on. Take advantage of the way I could fill the middle of a room
and tell these people where they should go later tonight.
Well, actually I'm just doing a gala spot,
and I don't get paid more if you're there or not.
So I would say go to my friend Jess Solomon and Iman El-Husseini's show.
It's called The El Solomons,
and that is at Catacombs at 10 p.m.
That would be a great one.
This is a fun idea.
With every guest now, I'm going to ask them
what people should see instead of them tonight.
I think that'll be a fun way to approach it.
But thank you so much for being here.
No, thank you. I'm excited.
And let's also say hello to,
for his second time on the show,
it's Chris Gethard, everybody.
Hi.
Hello.
Hello.
Corsi has the second most popular show on TruTV.
Oh, that's not true at all.
Well, because isn't True TV 23 hours of impractical jokers and one hour of you?
No, Doug, not only am I not the second most, this is true, I am the least popular show on True TV.
Wait, like after infomercials and shit?
Yeah, after shows about trucks and stuff like that.
Yeah.
All right, well, congratulations.
Thank you so much.
I know a lot of people are sitting in the audience going,
at least you have a show.
Yeah, that's true.
That's pretty nice.
A lot of people on the panel are thinking that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
And you've got a show tonight here in Montreal?
I do.
But what should we see instead?
Well, my friend Julio Torres has a show at 7.30 called My Favorite Shapes.
And I'll be there, and maybe you'll be there, too.
I love it.
Thank you, Chris.
Also joining us today, it's Chad Daniels.
Hello.
It's fun
when he announces my name to watch people
scan to see who raises their hand.
That's me. Yeah, it was nice of you
to self-identify. Is that the right
expression? Hey, guys.
You self-identify as Chad.
Did you run into
Tom Green at all while he was here? He loves the name Chad.
Uh-uh. Okay.
So what do you recommend tonight?
Very funny comedian,
Chad Daniels.
Canada's own Phil Hanley
is doing a gala spot
at 11 just across the way
from the hotel,
so you could go check that out.
Okay.
Todd Glass is here, everybody.
Two things before.
One, I left the bag backstage.
I've been waiting to say that.
Your prize bag, yeah.
Yeah, I left that.
It's been pretty good, actually.
And then also, I left my drink backstage, too.
Wait, when you came out, I said, where's your drink?
And you made a gesture like, drink it.
Because I didn't want to tell you that it was,
I thought the other way took longer to say it.
So you thought, I'll wait until I have
a microphone and then we'll really
get into it?
I feel so
good right now. But I
would love for you to go get both of those items.
I don't want to get them. Go get them! No. Come on!
No. I'll hold your mic here.
People want you to drink and they want you to bring prizes. Can to get them. Go get them. No. Come on. No. I'll hold your mic here. People want you to drink, and they want you to bring prizes.
Can somebody get them?
No, you go get them.
There's got to be somebody.
Thank you.
You know exactly where they are.
That guy, he's part of the festival.
Literally, his name is I'll Get You Things You Left Behind.
That says it on his shirt.
I swear to God, why would I lie?
He's going to come back with a pillow and a bar of soap.
No, my drink is a Jack and Coke, and then the bag is like a...
You're talking to him.
He's not in the room anymore.
Well, let somebody else go tell him.
No one in this room can go tell that guy who went to get my stuff what he's looking for.
Could everybody go get Todd's stuff?
The person I will...
Single file, everybody.
Let's go get Todd's stuff.
A friend of mine is doing a show tonight at 9 o'clock
at the Mainline. It's an awesome show
and he has a whole band and everything
and it's 9 o'clock at the Mainline
and I'm telling you, I don't normally say this
but I will say it. You'll fucking love it if you go.
Wait a second. I don't bullshit.
I do on stage.
Alright, let me ask you this, Todd.
Wow, that's Daniel Kellison, ladies and gentlemen
who's producing a new show I have. Todd, please take you. Oh, oh, sorry
I forgot I didn't notice you I thought you were really walking over to Daniel Kellison
I have a pitch idea for him
All right, Todd
But tell me why you think this show that that's tonight is so great like it sounds like a band and a comedian
It seems counterintuitive. How does that work? No, the band just is with me, but we get to do stand-up.
Oh, it's your show?
Oh, oh yeah.
I thought you knew that.
That's what I thought
the joke was.
Yeah, I'm doing a show.
I'm a friend of myself.
If you can't be your own friend,
then who should be, huh?
Whoa.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
What's your band doing
right now, Todd?
I think one of them might be here.
The others are...
I see another guy.
Mike Carrozza, ladies and gentlemen.
Woo!
So Mike is a comedian.
I'm fixing my crotch.
But he filled in with the...
So what happened is I'll have two real band members,
a drummer and a piano player,
and then I have two comedians,
because for the bits.
But Mike goes,
I play the electric guitar.
So he plays.
And then Chris Sandyford, he was going to sit in with the band all week.
It is just for the comedic stuff.
And he goes, I play the trumpet.
So the band's like, fuck.
It's like, great.
So that's what I wanted to say.
OK.
And finally, but not last
I mean
He's still the last name I'm going to say
But it's all about build up to Ron Bennington
Afternoons on Faction Talk 103 on SiriusXM.
True, true.
How's it going, Ron?
Very, very well.
Yeah, you having a good JFL?
As a matter of fact, I am.
Thank you very much, Doug, for this small talk.
Hashtag doing well at JFL.
Yeah.
Let's get it going, you guys.
And I can be reached at Hubbard 5-4184 on a rotary phone.
And you did a sit-down with one of the new owners of this festival, Howie Mandel.
Yes.
And he seems like a great guy.
I'm not familiar with him.
Well, he really talked about you a lot during that.
He did.
That's why I'm bringing it up.
I want people to listen to it.
When can people hear you talking to Howie Mandel about me?
I believe that's next weekend.
But he actually said that, you know,
you brought a brand new show to the festival,
which was exciting since you've been doing it for 10 years.
Yeah, yeah.
I was telling him about the Benson interruption.
He thought it was something I thought of yesterday.
And it turns out I've been doing it a long time,
but he thought it was a fresh idea.
So I'm going to do an audition on America's Got Talent
where I'm going to come out and bring another comedian
and interrupt them and see how that goes.
But thank you for being here, Ron,
and thank you to all of my guests.
Well, let me just say this.
My show tonight, The New Negroes at midnight,
The New Negroes, it's an unbelievable show. Kevin Hart
stopped in last night
and tonight,
Louis C.K. So you want to be there for that.
It's a big comeback for him.
Get there early.
His opening line is
may I do my act in front of you?
You'll say yes.
I am opening some shows he's doing after the new year, so I don't want to like...
Probably would have been better to not bring it up, but...
No, I just said that, like I'm the one who said it.
Oh, okay.
I hate failed bits.
Hang on, I'm just tweeting,
having a great time with Doug Benson,
hashtag doingwellatjfl.
That is coming from Deanne underscore Smith.
Catch on, everybody.
I love it.
Trying to get it going.
But put away your phone before the game portion.
Okay.
People will think you're a cheater.
Let's get the prize bag sorted.
What do you bring for the prize bag today, Mr. Chad Daniels?
I have some stuff.
We all used our Regency bags.
I see higher Regency bags.
I had a sore throat last night,
and so I went to the store and got some chewable ginger lozenges for my throat, but
up here, these are for upset stomachs.
So I don't need
that.
You can have that.
I also stopped by Chinatown
and I got some chopsticks
with, like, a little guide.
So if you don't know how to use them, and it also
strengthens your hand. It's like one of those thingies
that they used in Over the Top.
That's a movie. What's up?
I came to fucking play.
I also have Tiffany Haddish's new cassette.
And Jim Gaffigan's new album off of Comedy Dynamics that was in my gift bag and I'm re-gifting it to you.
This is a CD though, it's not an album.
I've already listened. That would be especially
bad. Hey, I got a cassette and an album.
Two things I'm never going to listen to.
I've already listened to those.
That's why it goes away. And then I also in
Chinatown got one of those little drums from
Karate Kid 2.
Just in case some shit goes down.
Thank you, Chad. You're welcome. Do you not want that bag back? I'm a karate kid too. Just in case some shit goes down.
Thank you, Chad.
You're welcome.
Do you not want that bag back?
No, you could just leave it there on the ground like it...
leaving the casting call for American Beauty.
It's so beautiful.
I saw somebody put on the internet like a bunch of plastic bags
all flying around at the same time
and made that joke about it being
a casting call for American Beauty.
Todd Glass, what do you got?
Okay, so same as Chad.
So I forgot when I texted you.
Use your microphone voice.
So I forgot, obviously.
Not obviously, but...
And then you said, Doug,
all right, just make a fun gift bag so uh
just as a joke there's toilet paper because that's from the room obviously and then real quick uh
then i went out i tried to there's some oreos they're not opened that would be sad um and then
uh jelly beans a bottle of water i don't need to show you that. And a few, like, conditioners.
And then two washcloths.
I don't know.
You can take those, you guys.
Housekeeping prefers that
over them being covered in your garbage,
you know, your filth.
There's also a download for five...
It's in there somewhere.
For five free...
It's a CD I put out.
This comedian, his name's Blake Wexler.
I left him messages for ten years. He saved every one of them, so five free, it's a CD I put out. This comedian, his name's Blake Wexler, I left him messages for ten years.
He saved every one of them, so I put it out on a CD. It's called
Ten Years of Messages, Todd Glass
Left for Blake Wexler. And that's in there
too. And they're all real.
Some are twenty seconds,
some are three minutes, but...
I hope you
talk about it every time you come on the show.
Nah!
Deanne Smith, what do you got?
Okay, this is what I have, and not to lead the audience,
but if it doesn't get at least as much applause
as Todd Glass' message is, I will be upset.
I brought my very own album called Tell It to My Balls.
Oh, what an amazing gift that this
is it's on a download card good luck do we just pass it down yeah it's like
you're giving somebody for free a puzzle figure this out make it happen and in my
room I had a tea Tazo refreshment. It didn't come from my room.
I want you to know it's been in my suitcase.
It's probably been there for over two years.
It has traveled the world, and now it can be yours.
And I also happen to bring Tiffany Haddish.
Oh, that's nice.
I'm giving the Jim Gaffigan's my hat.
What if the winner lives in a two cassette player home
you know you can both enjoy
in whatever room of the house you want
exactly I love it
cassette
what do you got for us
Chris Gathard well
true fact about me is that I really love
soda I'm very obsessed with soda
they call it pop in the Midwest.
There's a few other enthusiasts, it sounds like.
And I like small brand, like regional sodas.
And I've talked about this enough that when I travel,
very often people who are fans of mine will bring me sodas on the road.
And it's a very special thing to me.
And I actually wound up with two bottles of the same soda on this one.
So I'm going to donate this.
This is a cranberry flavored
maple syrup sweetened
soda from a company
called Beck. So I've already
had one so you can have the other.
That is so bespoke.
Nice bottle even.
Do you need a bottle opener to
get into it? No, that's a twist off baby.
That's a twist off. that's a twist off okay
then let's all try it right now yeah i mean anyone who wants to yeah sure because i i think it's even
better to get a prize bag soda that's everybody on the stage drank from it well you know you
can't put the cap back on oh shit then we might have to finish it
and the winner gets a neat bottle.
Oh, I don't like that at all.
I have a virus.
I will say that I do like it.
Clean.
Okay, one for and one against.
I want to say I love it,
and I want to thank the lovely fan who gifted it to me.
Yes.
Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron.
I want to keep the bottle.
It looks cool.
Oh, no, it's for this.
It's going in the bag.
Did you like it or no?
I thought it was unbelievable.
Clean.
I bet it tastes clean.
Yeah, very, very clean.
What are you doing?
Getting it ready for the bag.
I didn't want any of it to spill, so I got rid of all of it.
What's in the bag, bit?
Looked like you were wiping off the Ron Cooties.
Kind of hurt me a little bit there.
You just don't want it to drip all over the multiple cassettes of Tiffany Haddish.
Yeah, what good's a wet cassette?
Oh.
One more question for everybody before we get to the game portion of the show. Ron didn't
get to give his gift. No, that's okay. He just gave
us a bottle that went to his own lips.
That is all the gift
we need. Ron, what do you
got? Well, I got this backstage.
It
says, JFL,
thank you, and it's signed by Wanda Sykes.
So, not meant for you, not meant for you to take.
Yeah, that was definitely for the festival.
But I bet you they know how to get in touch with her
to get another one.
And this, I wanted to say that my producer, Vito,
stood in line for this
and got this signed,
and it kind of fits what we're doing today.
This is the Tiffany Haddish book,
signed by Tiffany Haddish.
And I only read the first chapter.
She was born into a wealthy family.
Her father ran Paramount Studios.
Her mother was a heart surgeon who invented the
stent and look how far she's made it unbelievable let's hear it for tiffany haddish
well that's terrific that's what those are wonderful gifts
and that that one is i'll be opening for Tiffany Haddish.
I say it now so I don't look like I'm not.
This poster's really got beat up already.
Okay, so all that is in the prize bag.
But first, Chad, what was the last movie you saw?
Like, let's say you die today.
What was the last movie you will have ever seen?
Night and Day with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.
All right, well, I hope you don't die today,
because that's going to look terrible on your epitaph.
My daughter and I came across on TNT.
I have a 14-year-old daughter, and she can finally watch TV 14 movies, right?
So we came across Mission Impossible.
Do you really think that's exactly the demarcation, like the day they turn 14?
I follow the fucking rules, Doug.
You know that.
So we're watching it.
Because BG 13 means, oh, TV is 14?
Yeah.
Okay.
So we're watching it, and she falls in love with this movie thing.
So we go through all the Mission Impossibles.
She loves them.
We watch two Jack Reacher movies, loves them.
She goes, does Tom Cruise do anything else?
So we watch Night and Day, and when he kicked the waiter,
when he goes, I thought he was making a move, that scene,
she goes, good God, Thomas Cruise, you have done it again.
So if I do die today today that'll be just fine
wow that's so exciting too because there's so many tom cruise movies
we picked the real good ones those are those are some of the best ones that you like them
yeah okay
when do you think you're gonna sit down with her and watch magnolia
just never when is she gonna,
yeah,
he says the C word,
Thomas Cruise,
you've done it again.
Todd Glass,
what was the last movie
you saw?
I saw the Mr. Rogers
documentary.
That's the first time
I've ever had a movie.
Ready to go.
Ready to go.
Yeah,
and I still don't know
the name of it.
Mr. Rogers,
oh yeah,
hold on,
I do know the name of it. Okay. Five seconds., yeah. Hold on. I do know the name of it.
Okay.
Five seconds.
This isn't for any points.
It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood or something like that?
Oh, that would be a good title, but no.
Wouldn't you?
But I saw the movie, so.
Won't.
I'll be opening for Mr. Rogers coming up this fall.
I stole his joke.
That's a jerk move.
No, it's a tag.
Todd won't.
So Mr. Rogers, please, won't you be my neighbor?
That's it.
If I were them, I would have put the please at the front.
Please won't you be my neighbor?
Right. It's disrespectful.
Well, he was bad for kids.
I mean, you know,
I saw the people on Fox talk about it, and they
seem to make sense. After you see the documentary,
and then you watch those three people on Fox
that's saying he's like the Antichrist,
it really puts everything into place.
It's so scary
when you see three people going, that fucking guy,
he's the problem with kids today. They say that
on Fox? That fucking guy?
They do. They show the clip.
They have like a mob episode
of TV 15.
But they do
show the clip in the documentary of them
talking about it on Fox News.
At one point, there's no doubt about it, this is like
the most brilliant man in the world
and he reminds us how decent
we can be as a species.
And you know it's right.
You know it's right. And then you see
the Fox News people
saying that.
You're like,
oh, fuck.
It's very scary
that they're that off.
But they think
they're that right.
It's also unusual
for a documentary
to be like,
through the whole movie,
this guy's great,
this guy's great,
never did anything wrong,
never did anything wrong.
Thank you for coming.
You know,
like there's no,
you keep waiting
for the twist.
Oh, you saw it?
No.
Oh. They talk about one thing he did wrong what was that he told a gay cast member to hide it you know what's funny
sorry for the massive spoiler by the way you know it's funny I I thought about that and when I left
the theater and and again I don't know this but but I was hoping it, it's the only thing that I said,
maybe they just portrayed it wrong,
because I think he was saying, but he didn't say it.
You're right.
He said, one of the guys on the show
said that he had been to a gay bar,
and Mr. Rogers says, don't go there again.
You can't be seen there.
And I think maybe he meant for the times.
And then, but then later, the guys...
No, he definitely said, if you can make a time
machine, I bet you you could go to a gay bar.
But since you're here
now, it might...
Was the gay cast member Daniel
Tiger? And that's why they made him talk
like that. He was always, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow.
You're gay, Daniel Tiger?
Meow, meow, meow, I can't talk about it.
Meow, meow.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
I'm in the kitty closet.
Meow, meow.
But it was great.
It was a great documentary.
Great movie.
Check it out.
Maybe go to the bathroom during that one sequence
where he's not doing the right thing. but his heart was probably in the right place
but Deanne what was the last movie you saw the last movie that I saw was a
quiet place which I really loved I saw with my friend Niall who's sitting right
there was great and Niall and I didn't have time to talk about the plot holes
and of course there's a few and I'm going to assume
that some of you guys have seen it can we talk for a second about the fact that
they kept running the printing press we learned we learned through cut out
newspapers and they kept being like the sound is the problem and it was like
what then why are you still running that printing press? Like they must have just gone down
paper after paper after paper.
I feel alone in this.
I don't need it to get a laugh.
I thought it would at least get a recognition.
You're right.
We also felt the same way.
I mean, I feel like why have sex or babies in that world?
That seems like at both ends of
the making the baby and then and then pushing the baby out who can resist John
Krasinski and I'm noisy you couldn't resist him okay I mean and I'm just gay
she is married to him she's she's married to him in real life, so I guess you're right.
It's hard to resist.
It's a really good thriller, but it's not a movie for people to sit around
and think about afterwards and dissect. Have you seen it?
It falls apart. No.
You should. I did see it, but I saw it in a theater where it was interesting.
They switched the rules and they said only talking is allowed.
So the whole audience just chats the whole time.
So I don't really know what happened.
I was worried, honestly, that the movie was going to be too quiet
and I was going to hear too much chewing.
And it turns out the movie has a score,
which again, I would like to see
them cut away to the orchestra being murdered by those things because they're
making a lot of noise during scenes where they're everyone's trying to be
quiet but it's it's you know it's a fun movie yeah Chris Gethard same question
I've been seeing a lot of movies lately. The most recent one was a documentary called
Three Identical Strangers.
I've heard good things.
It's nuts.
Twist.
Ron.
Oh, we're just moving.
Okay.
Yeah, no.
Hey, that was my bad, Doug.
Sorry about that.
I thought I would talk at least one third
as long as everyone else,
but that's my bad.
No.
That's my bad. Yeah. That's my bad.
Yeah.
I'm keeping track of the time, and you're the perfect man to cut time on.
I feel like Ron Bennington's going to have a great story.
This is a callback to my last appearance about how I get cut from everything.
Yeah.
It's true.
I just can't stop doing it.
But it's bonkers.
And what can you tell us about it without,
like, I love going into documentaries cold,
but what's like a brief description you can give us
that would intrigue us but not give anything away?
It's called Three Identical Strangers.
And it's, I won't give any of it away
because I think it's very much worth seeing.
I mean, the title's already pretty specific.
Yeah, it involves triplets who uh who meet each
other but i will say that's not that is not much of a spoiler because it's one of these movies
where you're like you get a decent chunk of the movie in and you're like this story is amazing
and then they're like and here and that was just the prologue to the real fucked up shit
and then the second two thirds you're're like, wow, who, what?
Who was behind this?
Yeah, well, I don't want you to sell it so hard
people wish they were watching it now.
Instead of enjoying this amazing podcast.
See, that's why you wanted to cut me off, man.
You're part of these conspiracies.
You don't want them hearing my truth.
Yeah, you should be on Truth TV.
They still don't capitalize.
They just showed the movie Concussion 24 hours a day.
Truth TV.
Todd likes to jump in sometimes when he has nothing to add, but just wants to participate.
It was only about exactly what we were talking about and a reference to it.
So how's that not having anything to talk about when it's literally trying to say something funny?
I might have failed, but it's not because it was about something else.
And that's just a fact and everybody fucking knows it.
That was supposed to be funny, what you said?
Doug had said it 10 seconds prior. Truth TV, like, oh, I'm going to go take fact and everybody fucking knows it wait that was that was supposed to be funny what you said doug had said it 10 seconds prior truth tv like oh i'm gonna go take it and
do something with it that's my that's what i was thinking in my head at worst you know i'd really
die tomorrow would you be happy you made me feel like shit hey todd i think you should go get your
stuff for the prize bag in that drink that you left backstage.
Ron Bennington, we've run out of time.
What was the last movie you saw?
Tully. Tully is I'll just say this.
Oh, is that that lady that landed that
plane in the Hudson? No, no, no. That's Sully.
That's Sully.
Also a wonderful movie
about a pilot who panicked when he hit a
bird this is where birds are it shouldn't be something that never comes
up why'd you have to land that plane the Hudson uh where was the cloud yeah and I
tried to try to get around it ended up in the water but But this is Sully, and I'll just say this. Tully.
Oh, Tully. Yeah, Tully.
It's Fight Club
for women. Just know this.
One of those characters ain't
real. That's all I'm saying to you.
Interesting.
Oh, and it's also a barrel of shit.
Thank you.
Yeah, I was thinking maybe you didn't like it If you gave away that
That part of it
Dude I didn't even figure it out
I had to go to Wikipedia to find out
Who wasn't fucking real
Cause you watched the whole movie
And said what was the point of that
And then went to the internet
Cause the internet will tell you what the point of everything is
And it's great.
Thank you everybody for answering that question honestly.
You know how I appreciate truth.
But now it's time for me to say
let the games begin!
Oh boy, have we got some name tags for you guys to choose from.
It's not going to be easy.
There's lots of good ones.
I appreciate.
I know in a festival environment, it's hard to walk around.
See, there's a name.
There's a badge.
This is so cool.
This is a badge right up front.
It's worth a shot. Will you want your badge back afterwards?
Yeah, because you want to go to other shows.
So you didn't really think that through, did you?
But everybody go select the name tag of the person that you'd like to play on behalf of.
While you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after words from me.
Hey, no sponsors this episode.
So you know what that means.
I'm going to tell you some tour dates.
And if you don't want to see me live,
you're going to fast forward through them.
This Wednesday,
August 8th, I'll be in Traverse City,
Michigan at the Old Town Playhouse
doing a Doug Loves Movies taping
as part of the Traverse City Film Festival.
And then Friday night,
August 3rd
at midnight,
I'll be at the State Theater
doing a Benson movie
Interruption of Twister
August 7th
Doug Loves Movies is back in Los Angeles
at UCB Franklin
August 12th
we return to the Variety Playhouse
in Atlanta, Georgia
at 4.20
I'm doing stand-up in Tampa
at the Improv
on August 18th
bring your name tags and then definitely bring your name tags Florida I'm doing stand-up in Tampa at the Improv on August 18th.
Bring your name tags, and then definitely bring your name tags, Florida.
If you're in the Orlando area on Saturday, August 18th, I'll be doing a Doug Loves Movies there at the Improv on International Drive.
Las Vegas, Cleveland. New shows announced recently
in Kansas City. For all the
info, go to
DougLovesMovies.com
That's DougLovesMovies.com. Yeah.
Caw-caw. Back to the show.
Alright, we're back.
Great job, everybody.
Sorry to everyone who didn't get chosen.
I always appreciate the effort everybody puts in.
I do not appreciate me instead of Tanya Harding on this poster.
Chad, what do you got there?
I got Rye Tanya.
Look at that.
That's horrifying.
I mean, she's not the prettiest lady, but you don't have to be that mean to her by putting my face on there.
She knows how to shave, I bet.
And it's
oh, it's got all the quotes
are in French. Yeah, I didn't see that
before I picked it.
Yeah, it's like a French poster
for I, Tanya.
Good job, Ryan.
Ryan? Yeah, okay.
What do you got there, Todd?
This says, Doug Benson and Todd McDonald are the Todd couple.
Say no more.
Oh, so that's why you said Todd's name is on it?
Because you used the word Todd?
Name Todd?
Well, no, he did preface that.
He goes, his name's on it.
And I said, I'll take it.
Because what if no one else had a better one?
Then I'd look like an asshole.
Oh, sure, I can get one right for me.
And then I'm like, oh, is that guy still here?
So I picked you right from the beginning. I was happy.
Oh, it's just my first name, but I think
it's still... Yeah, that's what I
meant. I like it anyway.
Thank you. Okay, put it down.
Not the microphone.
Oh, this. Okay. Yeah, there you go.
Good job. Good job, Todd.
That'll be easy for me to remember.
Everyone should just pick the name tag of the person
who has the same name. Are there any
Deanns here? Nope?
Okay, what do you got? Damn it.
I chose one that just called to me
immediately. It's so lovely. It says
JP, the extraterrestrial
and his adventure on Earth.
It's just very well done.
We said hi to JP at the top of the show.
Hey, Todd, let me have one of those.
You got some little donuts?
I went to the store.
You got some Timbits?
I bought some donuts before the show.
No, it's somebody's name tag.
I know.
Sarah?
Oh.
I'm allowed to eat them, right?
I mean, if she gave them to you, I guess you can.
Well, for you, probably more than me.
She meant for it to be her name tag, and then you went with Todd, because it's all about you.
I'll give her a hundred bucks. For you, probably, more than me. She meant for it to be her name tag, and then you went with Todd, because it's all about you.
A hundred bucks.
Really?
Guys, listen, I feel like
JP needs more recognition.
So he at least gets a Timbit.
Oh, that's good. I was going to throw one at his face,
but that's cool.
No, I was going to throw one to the audience.
Who here really needs a Tim bit right now?
I want someone who's desperate for a damn Tim bit.
Front row, she's dying for one.
Who brought it?
Here we go.
Who gave it?
I was going for the cleavage, but you got it.
Good job.
I'll put that person on my show for four people tonight
because then I don't feel bad eating them. So just what's your name? I'll put the person on my show for four people tonight because then I don't feel bad eating them.
So just, what's your name?
I'll put this name of this.
That way I won't forget that for four.
If you go, you go.
If you don't, you don't.
I'm not going to lie.
It hasn't been that crowded.
You're just going to put Sarah Timbit on the guest list?
You know everyone else here can show up and say,
I'm Sarah Timbit.
Oh, shit.
I'll talk to you after the show.
All right.
Who are you playing for there?
Who are we up to?
Me.
Chris, yes.
It's me again.
Oh, we don't have time for you.
Doug, you invited me to be on the show.
You invited me to be here, Doug.
I did, I did.
And I don't know why I'm being silenced over and over again.
I'm holding one that says it's a Maz,
Maz,
Maz,
Maz world.
Now Maz is the nickname of Morrissey,
a musician who I grew up and I really,
I've always loved his music.
I have grown to really not love his political opinions.
But I saw this and this,
this young man was holding us up and I said, wow,
is this a reference to Morrissey, my favorite musical artist? Did you know I was going to be
here? As if he has an encyclopedic knowledge of my musical taste and also guessed that out of
every comedian at this festival, I would be here. And he, with real pity in his eyes,
looked back at me and said, no, my name is Maz.
And I'm playing on his behalf as an apology for my arrogance
and hubris
and self-centered focus
in that conversation.
I'm so sorry about that, Maz.
There's also an envelope on it
that says,
for Doug's eyes only,
so good luck with that.
So the envelope is a thing.
Yeah.
I have one that just says,
shithead.
Yeah.
Because at the end of the show if you don't win
today if you don't prevail
I have to call whoever they put
in that envelope a shithead
at the end of the show it's a
consolation prize chance for people to get
me on the internet saying things I'd rather
not say I see
what do you got there Ron Bennington
well mine is
full metal junket.
And instead of born to kill, it's born to chill.
And I just find that so bro-tastic.
But unfortunately, I didn't see this when I got it.
On the back, it says, people who don't watch the Gatlin show.
Oh, wow.
Wait, I wasn't supposed to say that?
Yeah, Ron, you've been on the show before.
I never understood this show once
I've been here so many times
And I feel like I'm tripping
I don't get it
I just explained it to Deanne
Right before you went and read it
But we'll save that for the end
We'll save that for the end
You didn't read the whole thing
We're still in suspense
The rest of it is this.
Yeah.
I do appreciate it,
though you clearly scrawled it on a piece of cardboard
when you saw me here.
Thank you for that, though.
Believe me, I'll fucking blow it for him.
Don't worry about it.
He's not winning shit.
I mean, I wrote all the questions for today,
and I think it's anybody's game today.
Great.
I think anyone can win, so let's get into it.
The first game we're going to play
is a little something called
How Long Is It?
Me too.
Hashtag me too.
I should warn you ahead of time.
All of my games sound dirty, but they're not.
Okay, thank you.
I'm just having fun with the title.
How long is it?
I'll name a thing, and then each of you bid.
We'll start with Chad and just go all the way across.
Each of you bid on how long it is.
And the closest to the correct number, correct, without going over,
Price is Right style, is the winner of this game.
Okay.
Yeah, and you win nothing, really.
Just get to go first in the next game.
And so on.
Tom Hanks was held hostage as Captain Phillips
in the movie of the same name for a day and a half.
How long was the real life Captain Richard Phillips held hostage?
Chad, in minutes, hours, or days, please.
You could go months, but if it was a day and a half in the movie, let's not get
crazy.
I will say 12 hours.
Oh, half a day.
Yeah, if you want to call it
that. Yeah. Doesn't sound
like they made his experience
better. Oh, it was a day and a half?
Let's make it half a day. Todd?
Well, I
agree with Chad in the sense that it's bad
Oh, no, they did make it longer
Go ahead, Todd
That's okay, Doug
I've interrupted before, too
And I was always hoping people were nice to me when I have it happen
So thank you
I appreciate me being nice to you as well
Just fucking say what you were going to say
They're not going to make it less
No movies under-exaggerate
They don't go as a week
We'll make it two days
So it doesn't make sense Well, I think We have so much time in a movie 13 hours Okay under exaggerate. They don't go as a week. We'll make it two days. So sometimes you gotta sense.
Well, I think we have so much time in a movie.
13 hours. Okay. That's
it's very mean bid after Chad's
12 hours. Fuck
you.
I thought it was good because
we both thinking alike.
Yeah.
99. I'm going to go
13 hours, two minutes. I love it. I have going to go 13 hours,
two minutes. I love it.
I have no problem with that.
I love it. She would be burned
so hard if it was 13 hours and one
minute. If it fell right in
between, that'd be crazy.
Chris Gethard? Well,
I'm going to go
for the Price is Right trick and say that man
was held hostage for one minute.
One minute, and then they made a whole movie.
Scariest minute of his life.
Most terrifying minute of his life.
Really, mostly someone just asked him for directions.
You know that trick only works if you go last, right?
Do it.
Fuck.
There's usually only a couple.
Oh, yeah.
I would be looking at two minutes
except for the fact
that I have cable television
and an
avid CNN watcher.
I watched every moment of this.
Oh. It took three
days for the Navy SEALs to get from D.C.
They parachuted out in the middle of the ocean in the night, came down, and nine hours later,
they shot the three people at the same time, freeing him.
It's three days and nine hours.
Wow. What? hours. Wow.
What?
Wow.
Wow.
All right, it's a little too early for celebration.
But that is,
I didn't think anyone would be such a Dick Phillips fan.
So behind what's going on with Dickie P.
But according to my sources,
almost five days.
But that makes Ron Bennington the winner.
With what is probably the actual answer.
The internet is full of fake news, you guys.
Don't trust it.
Just call Ron and ask him.
Although he watched CNN, so they are obviously lying about the whole incident.
He should have watched Truth TV.
I even got off
my chair for that. Jesus.
Let's
Let's play another game
starting with Ron gets to go first
this time, and then we'll work our way
back to me.
People loved
Dumelefont
which was the films of
Timothy Oliphant and
Josh Dumele.
People loved Plumbers Lee
which was the films of Christopher Plummer
and Christopher Lee.
So today
we're going to play Dermot McDermott.
I'll name a movie you tell me if it's got Dermot Mulroney or Dylan McDermott
or neither. This is a game where paying attention could give you points.
you points starting with Ron first up tell me which of those two guys or neither was in the perks of being a wallflower please don't help from the
audience if you know it I know he was the father and who are the two names
again that's part of the fun of this game is
that I don't think anybody knows the difference between these two well they're
both terrific actors but damn why do they got to go and name themselves like
this it's either Dermot Mulroney or Dylan McDermott Dermot Mulroney. That's your answer. That is my answer as of now.
Incorrect.
Chris Gethard.
Which one is it?
The other one or neither?
That's really how this game works?
Yes.
I don't get a new question?
Deanne's going to be thrilled if you get it wrong.
I guess I'll go with the other one.
You're going with Dylan McDermott?
Yeah, he is the other one.
Yeah, yes, final answer.
That is correct, Dylan McDermott.
Yeah.
Chris Gethard's on the board,
but now we go to Deanne Smith
with the next title.
Olympus Has Fallen.
Very forgettable.
I've never heard of it.
Mulroney.
I quietly and unironically love that movie.
What about the sequel, Olympus Fell Again?
I believe you're referring to London Has Fallen,
which is also fucking awesome.
Oh, right, they changed the setting.
What do you think's going to fall next
in the Fallen series?
McDermott?
Well, see, that's where guessing could pay off, Deanne.
McDermott, Mulroney, or neither?
I can't say that I know the movie or either of these two gentlemen.
I'm going to go McDermott.
That is correct.
Yes!
Todd Glass, how are you doing?
Good.
Microphone?
Good. Microphone. Good.
In the Line of Fire.
Also has some White House in it.
Did you ask a question?
There's a movie called In the Line of Fire.
Who's in it?
McDermott?
Oh.
Mulroney?
Or neither?
Neither.
Final.
Incorrect.
Shit.
Chad Daniels.
I get them mixed up, but it's not the guy in Shameless.
It's the other one from the lawyer TV show.
But if you had to say out loud,
Mulroney or McDermott,
which one would you say?
Not the Mulroney.
They're two great Canadian actors, by the way.
What's that?
It's Dermot McDillan.
Let's back up a second.
Is it Dermot Mulroney or Dylan McDermott or neither?
The middle one.
He said neither.
You can't remember from how long?
All I said was or neither.
Is it Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney or neither?
God damn it, you switched them.
I did.
I was about to hit his leg like it was a buzzer,
and then I was like, well, that's not right.
I just have the...
God damn it.
It's the one with the two Ds, not the M.
You seriously just can't say it?
Is it Dylan McBalrony?
Is it DM or DM or neither?
Mulroney McDermott.
McDermott.
That is correct.
Thank you.
Ron.
Holy shit, Ron.
We got three players on the board.
Which one or neither was in
Hamburger Hill?
Hamburger Hill.
It's a silly sounding name, but it's a war movie.
I'm going to say
neither.
Incorrect.
I'll give that a
solid Mulroney.
Doug's not even listening to me
at this point. You went from
cutting me off to literally pretending I'm not
participating. What the fuck is
going on? You asked me to come here today.
You asked me to come here today.
You're not even acknowledging my existence.
The crowd can bash me.
I could walk up, punch him in the face.
He wouldn't know it was coming.
He's not hearing a word I'm saying.
He doesn't care.
This is outright disrespect that I've never felt more angry in my life.
outright disrespect and I've never felt more angry in my life.
I just wanted to get my
phone on low power mode because I'm
down to 19%.
I'm glad I can hold
your attention so well.
On your show. With your
name on it.
Which one did you say?
I said Mulroney, god damn it.
Incorrect.
I think you're lying. I think you're lying.
I think you're lying.
I mean, I could switch them and nobody would know.
Deanne?
Okay, let's do it all together.
One, two, three.
McDermott.
I'm saying McDermott.
You thought they'd all say the right answer?
Yeah.
Between him or neither.
We both got them wrong.
It's the only one left.
You're right.
I wasn't listening.
I was, my phone, I was looking at my phone because the power is down to, now it's 18,
so fucking let's move this along.
That is correct, Deanne.
You've got two points.
Yes.
She's going to be tough to beat, gentlemen.
Mm-hmm. correct, Deanne. You've got two points. She's going to be tough to beat, gentlemen.
The next film,
Todd, is a movie called Twister.
Oh, yeah. Not the
Twister with Bill Paxton
that I'll be interrupting
this Friday night at the Traverse City
Film Festival.
It's another Twister.
What do you got, Todd?
Neither. Final answer.
Because you couldn't remember either of the other names.
At this point, how many times were you not going to put that one in there?
Eventually, you're going to have to throw it in, so I just went for it.
Final answer.
It's a good theory.
I like it.
And I'm wrong.
It was Dylan McDermott. Wait, why didn't he get wrong It was Dylan McDermott
Wait why didn't he get a yes
Dylan McDermott is my answer
Thank you
Gilbert Godfrey
Thank you
You have to put some final answers in
Otherwise it's a trick
I said that
To fool you
The answer Is Dylan McDermott I said that to fool you.
The answer is Dylan McDermott.
Damn it.
Okay, Chad's got a point.
Can you imagine Alex Trebek
having to give somebody a point
because he fucked up?
I'm just giving it to you.
But we're back to Ron.
Everybody on the stage has a point except for Todd.
And Ron.
Deanne has two.
I really should write this down.
I even have a table so that I can.
Ron?
Yes.
Which one or neither was in Steel Magnolias?
Neither.
Incorrect.
Chris?
Are you listening?
Deanne? Deanne?
Dianne You asked me to be here
McDermott
What do you think it is Chris?
Mulroney
Incorrect
The answer to every single one
Has just been McDermott
Do you just go to one of their IMDB pages?
Because your phone is dying?
That's
what's happening here.
Your phone's dying, so you only looked up
one of their pages. You're making us
all look like fucking assholes.
He's making one of us
look like fucking asshole.
I'm having a meltdown.
I mean, Deanne has like three points.
What do you think, Deanne?
I think it might be McDermott.
That is correct.
Yes!
Todd?
I know what's going on now.
Which one is in Steel Magnolias?
Okay.
I can...
I feel like I'm on the million dollar...
I could just...
Here's what I was going to do.
You want to hear the options again?
No.
Part of me...
I already planned what I was going to do.
I don't know any of the movies.
So, what did I do wrong?
No, you just have to...
Don't tell.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm actually rooting for him. I forgot it was comedy. I'm sorry. I'm like actually rooting for him.
I forgot it was comedy.
I'm like, I just want you on the board.
Just get one point, Todd, for Christ's sake.
McDermott.
What?
What happened?
I really want to know.
I was going to just ask after the show.
That's what I usually do.
I'm like, what happened up there when I got lost?
What happened?
My friend will go, oh, no, they had already asked that.
And then you. So what's your answer? I'm like, what happened up there when I got lost? What happened? My friend will go, oh no, they already asked that and then you...
So what's your answer?
I don't know. Which one are you saying?
Was this eliminated by
they got two wrong and I should know it? Is that why
it was funny? No, no, no.
You're getting this one fresh.
You're getting this one fresh. Okay, so what did I do
wrong? Steel Magnolias. Who is it?
Which one or neither?
I want to give a lead up to it. Okay, here's what's going on.
He just asked steal Magnolias.
It came all the way down.
She answered it correctly.
He asked you the exact same movie.
Just steal her answer and you're golden.
Wait, what happened?
Exactly what she said.
Oh, God.
Fucking Montreal.
It's not just you, Chris.
Gilbert Godfrey.
He's not listening to any of us.
Okay, so it's on the end of what we're saying?
It's the same again.
It's on the end.
I know.
It's not even your turn.
Oh.
Is that what happened?
No.
She already guessed
you'll make Nolia's right.
You just asked the same question twice.
So I answered it correctly and then he had a chance. Okay, so we'll move on to the next one for Todd. no use of it. You just asked the same question twice. So I answered it correctly and then he
had a chance. Okay, so we'll move on to the next one for Todd.
Oh, darn it. He was on the board.
Wait, Doug, that wasn't intentional?
No, it wasn't.
You did that. I was like,
man, that's genius.
So seriously, Todd, Steel Magnolias Dylan McDermott
No
You can't just give Deanne's answer
And think you're going to get a point
I didn't even remember what she said
And most people know I'm not lying
I completely forget
If I was right, I deserve to win fairly.
Even though I could have copied you.
Which one was in or neither?
Three to tango.
Because I know we're just playing a game now of do you think I'm going to have the, you know, am I going to say neither again?
And you're probably thinking I'm at this point scared to say it.
I know I'm wrong, but fuck, I'm going to go with it.
Neither.
Incorrect.
You know what would really help
this game if you guys knew who these actors were?
Or had seen any
of these movies. Have you seen Three to Tango,
Chad? Maybe, I don't...
I'm not sure.
Who's in it?
I think top build might be somebody
named Neither.
Joe Neither.
I'm going to go with Mr. McDermott.
That is correct. Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
All right. I had one more
that was going to be a tiebreaker,
but, you know, no one can catch up to Deanne.
Who's tied?
She's got three.
Chad has three?
I wasn't going to say anything because I'm a guest in your country,
but thank you for having my back.
We've only done six.
The other three guys have gotten a point at some point.
You gave him a point because you messed up.
That's true.
Oh, I guess I do pay attention.
You know what I feel the need to suddenly confess?
My first answer, I was making eye contact with JP,
who I'm playing for,
and I was afraid of being humiliated on the podcast
because I don't know any actors or movies,
and he helped me with my first answer.
Security.
They all went,
oh.
I know.
Because it's only later
that I realized
it's about him
winning the gift bag.
JP, you're out.
No, it's cool.
I like that.
I like that.
Don't ever do it again
anyone that's listening.
Should we give JP these? Yeah. I like that. I like that. Don't ever do it again, anyone that's listening. Should we give JP these?
Yeah.
There you go.
Okay.
Is that JP?
I mean, he might win everything.
I don't know why we're giving him something already.
So this is just between Deanne and Chad.
Oh, my.
But Chad is next, so he has the first shot at it.
Chad Daniels.
Yes.
McDermott, Mulroney, or neither.
Can we play how long is it?
Okay.
Of these three actors, which one is the longest?
Which one is the longest?
Chad Mulroney
McDermott
or neither
for the motion picture
McDermott
you're pre-guessing
yep
incorrect
the end
McDermott
Mulroney
or neither
runaway bride
he already guessed
yeah he went with
the McDermott
that was incorrect
cause that's how I do it I lead went with the McDermott. That was incorrect, because that's how I do it.
I lead you down the McDermott path, and then you get fucked.
I'm taking a page out of Todd Glass' book.
I'm saying neither.
That is correct.
You are a winner.
I'm okay with it.
I knew it would work for somebody.
I held it in my heart.
It was going to happen someday, and it happened to her.
Congratulations, Deanne.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you.
It only means you get to go first in our next and final game.
Oh, thank God.
That's right.
This is the last episode of this podcast.
For our final game, in honor of the gentleman sitting on the far end
who invented this game and brought it to me
and I've loved it ever since.
Let's play the Bennington game.
We'll switch the order around.
We'll start with Deanne
and then we'll go to Chris, Ron, Chad, and Todd.
And each one of you
is going to have to name
a movie
that you think
features
or made the most money
Chad McDermott
that has
that has a particular
actor in it
so I'm going to tell you
Deanne
the name of an actor
you know
or actress
we should call
them all actors, but I'll name somebody. You tell me a movie you think finished in their top three.
That's where you get the points. If you can name one that's in the top three of their all-time box
office, according to Box Office Mojo, after being adjusted for inflation, which you shouldn't have
to worry about too much today because these are all fairly modern people.
Okay.
Yeah.
They're fairly modern Millies.
Todd, I hope you figure it out by the time it gets to you.
Because you're going last.
Deanne, name a movie that you think is in Kevin Hart's top three.
The great Kevin Hart was on this very stage yesterday,
gave an emotional speech about Tiffany Haddish,
and then she gave him some money,
and he got mad about it.
Because she's been trying to pay him back money
that he loaned her a long time ago,
and he won't take it,
so she always has to sneak it into things.
And that's why he was a little taller yesterday
because she put the money in his shoes.
All right, so Deanne,
can you name a Kevin Hart movie?
Nope.
Okay.
So you want to pass
or do you want to make up a title?
Just on the off chance.
What does it feel like?
What's the name of a movie you think Kevin Hart would be in?
Yeah.
Big Money More Bitches.
Okay.
That sounds good.
I bet you that'll get greenlit right here at this festival.
Seems like the right time for a movie with that title.
Seems like it'd be a great career move for him.
Chris Kethert, what do you think? Top three for Kevin Hart. I believe he's in a movie called
Ride Along. Okay, sure. I'm going to go with Ride Along. Okay. Ron Bennington? Well, it was $300
that Kevin Hart loaned her, but would believe what did I say you didn't
say anything okay good sounded like you were correcting me no I'm just everybody
who talks to you sounds like they're correcting you hold on hold on I have to
take a call right now yes
right now. Yes?
Whoops. Let me hit that.
Oh, this is from my mom. I have to take this. Oh, his mom's on.
Is everything okay? Alright, mom.
I'll get back to you. I'm on stage right now.
Uh, Jumanji. Jumanji
is the answer.
Sorry about that call.
I hate to do this to you, Rob. Wait, that could
have been the answer. What?
Oh, you think somebody called in with the...
Oh. Why would my...
My mother is 87
years old. How do we know it was your
mother? Is she in the crowd? Is she on some
sort of satellite
device? She's in Elkton, Maryland
and God damn it, she's ill right now.
So she checks in with me. So you gotta take the call.
Yeah. So she said Jumanji.
And it was fantastic.
And was it like, did she hang up right after
Jumanji? Because the title has more words
in it. Oh, shit.
I sure hope my mom calls
back.
Jumanji.
More bitches,
mo problems
alright I'm going to take that as your final
answer
what do you got there Chris
phone is ringing again
I hope his mom's okay
forget my mom she stinks
Chris
wait sorry Chad I gave an answer She stinks. Chris. I'm going to. Wait.
Sorry, Chad.
I gave an answer.
Yeah.
What is going on today?
I believe in second chances.
Oh, my God.
I don't think you should be washed up in this game.
I'm sorry, Chad.
I'm sorry.
Once you start to say, you go, Chad.
I mean, Chris. That's sorry. Once you start to say ego, Chad, I mean Chris.
It's not that's not even how my name starts.
Listen, Chris.
It's Chad's turn.
Sit down.
I would say that I'll never come here again, but I really do need to try to appeal to your fan base.
Chad, I'm sorry, Chad. I'm sorry I called Chris's name when it's
your turn. That's okay.
I don't know if this was the tagline
or if this is the name of the movie. Oh, interesting.
I'm going to go with, I'll tell you right now,
it's not in space. No one can hear you scream.
I am going to steal Jumanji
and I'm going to go with Welcome to the Jungle.
Oh, interesting.
Todd Glass.
Now, the smattering of applause. Let me talk
about this for a second. Are we not
sure about that?
A couple people clapped. Well, no, you're not.
We're not looking to the audience to tell
you what's the right answer. Fucking Canadians are so polite.
He just gave guns and roses. Sorry, are so polite. Well, he just came out at rounds and roses.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
You just can't turn to the audience and be like, is it this?
Because then, of course, they're all going to go, yay, you did it.
But I already had said it.
I don't know.
I guess I felt like a little fucking confidence would have been nice.
Todd, how are you feeling?
I feel good.
I have to pass, though.
Can't think of any Kevin Hart movies?
The one that I maybe would have thought of, Chris Scott.
I mean, I didn't really think of it.
What city did he come out of?
I thought about it after he said it.
Where did he come out of?
Where did he start out?
Kevin Hart started out in Philadelphia.
Oh, yeah.
Where'd you start out?
Philadelphia.
Oh, that's great.
The way you keep track of his career is so nice.
Oh, really?
Name something I've done.
I wish that you had something that I could say right now.
I set you the fuck up like a moron.
Welcome to our relationship, everybody.
So I pass.
Todd sets them up
and I knock them down.
All right.
So has everybody said one
or we still have...
Okay, so you've all said one.
Seriously, you know anything
I've done?
No.
Coming in...
I couldn't have left it alone.
All right.
You're also still
not talking in your microphone.
Coming in number three for Kevin Hart,
he appears in a motion picture.
I didn't even remember that he's in this.
Something called Little Fockers.
Yeah.
His number two, he's a voice in The Secret Life of Pets.
Yeah.
And if you guys don't know, I haven't seen it yet,
but I assume The Secret Life of Pets
is that when the people go away they masturbate and
then
Coming in at number one
Jumanji welcome to the jungle
It feels great I always lose it feels great
You're doing it today Chad
Good for you. We shift the order of who gets to go first on this one a little bit
so everybody gets a chance.
We'll start with Chris.
Correct.
I mean, Chad.
No, Chris.
Give me a top three movie for the great, love this guy,
Will Forte.
Ooh.
Top three, Box Office.
Forte.
Because he's been in some cult stuff, but that doesn't scream box office.
So what's he been attached to?
I don't, let's see. I don't know. Hang on, I'll look at my phone for a while if you need me to. Let's see.
I don't know.
Hang on.
I'll look at my phone
for a while
if you need me to.
No, I'll just lay claim
to MacGruber.
I'll just say MacGruber.
Okay.
Someone's laughing
at the end.
People are laughing
at MacGruber
because it was
kind of known
to have not done well.
I know, notorious.
Yeah, but
people love it.
Like you said,
it's a cult classic.
Someone laughed at me.
The one answer I've given that anyone reacted to,
I was laughed at.
Ron, what do you think?
I'm going to guess Nebraska.
Nebraska, okay.
Oscar-nominated film.
The film and the university.
Fantastic.
Jad?
Part of me wants to say Saturday Night Live, the best of Will Forte.
Which part of you, if you had to name a part, my right to want to say that?
So, I don't know if he's in this movie, but I feel like... That sounds like a great guess.
I feel like he should be.
Sure.
Say dinner for schmucks.
Seems like something he would be in.
Does anybody, can you not tell me?
There's no, that's, yeah, that's not how it works.
That's your answer.
You're stuck with it.
Ron.
It's Todd's turn.
Just check in on Ron.
Cause he's way down there in the end.
Worried about his mother.
No, I'm, I'm still going with Nebraska.
I haven't changed my mind at all.
What do you think, Todd?
I have to pass.
Okay.
You know what, Todd?
I don't like how this is going.
I don't, Mom.
I'm having fun.
Who are you playing for today?
I'm playing for this guy right over here.
What's his name?
Todd?
I don't know if it says it on there.
It's Todd.
Oh, Todd.
Todd, you can go to Todd every time it's your turn for help.
Thank you.
That's what they used to do in school.
That's how confident I am someone.
I'm so confident someone else is going to win that I'm going to let you go to Todd.
So what do you think, Todd, for the films of Will Forte?
He says Beer Fest.
Beer Fest?
Yeah, yeah, he was definitely in that. That was a great movie. Okay. Beer Fest. Beer Fest? Yeah, yeah,
he was definitely in that.
It was a great movie.
Okay.
At least I loved it.
Yeah, of course.
I did love it.
All right.
Okay, so my answer,
final answer.
Beer Fest.
Yeah.
Deanne.
Okay, I'm excited.
Because you know one?
I want to say Trainwreck.
Don't look to the crowd.
Okay, but... Because they are telling you no. Yeah, they're telling me no. So he wasn't in Trainwreck. Don't look to the crowd. Okay.
Because they are telling you no.
Yeah, they're telling me no.
So he wasn't in Trainwreck, which is good,
because the movie that I think grossed more than Trainwreck is Big Money More Bitches 2.
Did not make the list, as it turns out.
Well, that was my final answer.
Okay.
Well, we've got, coming in at number three,
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs Part Two.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Coming in at number two,
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.
Coming in at number one.
MacGruber?
It's like he doesn't want to show his face in a movie that makes a lot of money
because his number one is that he was a voice in the Lego movie.
Yeah.
It was the other guy in Trainwreck.
Hater.
Bill Hater.
Oh, yes, of course.
They are getting confused for each other constantly.
He was in Beer Fest, though, right?
Will Forte, yes.
Right.
That's what I thought the question was.
Okay.
When you ask top grossing and the three answers are
MacGruber, Beer Fest, and Nebraska,
that's tough.
Those weren't the...
Okay.
Ron gets to go first this time.
Ron Bennington.
I thought you said Blondie.
I thought you said Blondie.
I'm like, is that what he's calling you, like kidding around?
Yeah, because this is the right time to call a woman Blondie.
Comedically, it could be affectionate.
Hey, Blondie, what's your dumb answer?
I'm going to go with train wreck.
Okay, Ron, start us off.
Make me proud.
What is the number one movie that features,
also from this festival on this stage yesterday,
Miss Tiffany Haddish? number one movie that features also from this festival on this stage yesterday miss tiffany haddish
with the women are out they're having fun they're running around and enjoying themselves
is it girls night out this is not girls night out Girls Night Out. Not Girls Night Out.
I wish the audience was in darkness
instead of fully lit and mouthing things to the contestants.
What are you going with, Ron?
I'm getting a call.
Oh, shit, we got a call coming in.
Let me check on her. She's very ill.
Okay, see how she's doing.
Yes, Mom.
Is she going
anywhere soon? Yes, she's
taking a girl's trip. Okay.
But I'll call you back
after I'm off the stage.
Fuck you, Vito.
Yeah.
Wherever you are.
I thought it might be Chris Stanley.
What do you got, Chad?
I'm going to go with
Keanu.
Oh, okay.
Well, you say it like that, I want to change it.
I'm not going to say yes, correct.
That's not how it works.
Todd?
Oh, going to Todd in the audience?
He's got no idea.
You guys are perfect for each other, by the way.
Sorry.
I really don't.
I do.
I just think it's better to just admit it up front and let someone else.
Yeah, sure.
I'm going to look at JP.
Oh, you're going to your lifeline
That I didn't give you
Do you have it JP
We have to pass
He's got nothing
Who was the actor
Chris
I gotta tell you
I loved Girls Trip
I thought she was amazing
And I also know
She's in the new one
With Kevin Hart
Where she plays
The night school teacher
But that's not out yet
And unfortunately
Night school yeah
Yeah although I am I do think she is Supremely funny I'm blanking one with Kevin Hart where she plays the night school teacher, but that's not out yet. Night school, yeah.
Although I do think she is supremely funny.
I'm blanking.
She's early in her career.
I'm blanking on another movie because I think the answer is Girls Trip anyway, unless she's been in 19 animated
movies. Do you want to take a call real quick?
No, I play by the fucking rules,
Doug.
Of course,
Keanu is not a terrible answer Chad but that's number four
on her list
coming in at number three just out
and already making so much money it's number three
on her list Uncle Drew
and then number two
a movie called Meet the Spartans
which I guess she appears briefly
in and then of course, number one
is
Girls Trip with Ron's Mother.
Girls Trip.
God bless her.
Right.
God bless that woman.
Which puts us in a very interesting position
because Ron has three points
and Chad has three points
and that means
Ron and Chad
are going to a tiebreaker.
Thank you, everybody else, for playing.
Yeah, thanks so much for having me, Doug.
Yeah.
Please sit comfortably in your seat until the show is over.
I love when the airlines say that, when they're like, we're boarding group one.
Everyone else, sit comfortably in your seats.
They just have to put that notion in your head that standing up would be bad.
I'm going gonna sit comfortably
uh okay so what order are we going here which who was who's going to be next in the uh order
uh chad so chad gets to go first and he gets to tell us what he thinks is in the top three
or for that matter, top 14.
I did some research on this one.
It feels great.
He's hosting the gala here tomorrow night at JFL.
Mr. William H. Macy.
A lot of his stores are closing,
but he's still a great, great actor.
I don't think this is going to be right,
but I live 45 minutes away from this town
so i'm going to say fargo oh shit interesting ron what do you think of all the films how's your mom
of all the films she's very ill and hasn't been able to get back to me
all the films all the films of of William H. Macy.
They're on to us.
Stop it.
What do you think will be higher on that list than Fargo?
Mom, stop it.
For the win.
Don't talk to your mom anymore.
Because he's made a lot of great independent films.
But I can't think
of like a big buzzet.
There's a man trying to
tell me right there.
He's miming some shit?
Yes, it's...
What's he miming?
I don't really...
Stop it, mom.
I think he's miming the word shameless,
and that's a TV show, sir.
It's still good.
It's a great show.
I'm going to...
I mean, you brought it up earlier today.
I'm going to say Magnolia.
Oh, interesting.
Okay.
Came out in 1999, so you're going gonna have to bring that price up a little bit
It was a really depressed time for this country
Okay
I'm looking at the results here. This is interesting
Here's what we're gonna do
I'm gonna need the name of a second movie from each of you.
Not in the top 14?
Neither of your movies finished in the top 14.
Did I guess?
No, you can't.
Chad?
So you need another movie from me.
I need another William H. Macy.
Alright. No audience
talking, please.
Everybody in the audience knows one.
Oh. Oh.
Come on. It was a voice in
Big Problem, Bigger Bitches 2.
I can't get him out of my head as Frank,
and my brain won't help me think of a movie.
Right, he's such a great character actor
that if you're just stuck on that one movie,
it's pretty rough.
What do you think there, Ron Bennington?
Is there any movie
that he just had a walk on
or something small?
Sure.
He's a character actor.
Yes, he's a character actor.
He's, you know, he's rarely the lead character.
As I look at this list, I can't see, I don't see any that he was the lead character in.
You two are the fucking worst, by the way.
Honest to God.
Why, what are they doing?
Air Force.
Charades.
Air Force One.
That's what you're going with?
Air Force One? Air Force One. Okay who you're going with, Air Force One?
Air Force One
Okay
Well, let's break this down for you guys
This is pretty interesting
I'll start at number 12
He was in The Last Dragon
I didn't know that
11 is The Lincoln Lawyer
Pleasantville
Ah
When you said you live 45 minutes from there
I thought that's what you were going to say
Wag the dog Sahara
what the oh a civil action Mr. Holland's opus right sea biscuit coming in at number four the Number four, The Client. Number three, Wild Hogs.
Yeah.
About his enormous Johnson.
How long is it?
Your favorite game.
Jurassic Park 3.
Wow.
And coming in at number one, Air Force One.
Ron Bennington.
Whoa. Is the winner.
Magnolia came in at 22.
Fargo came in at 18.
Yeah.
But let's hear it for Ron.
Where is your...
Where is the person you were playing for, Ron?
There he is.
You want to come get your prizes?
Just hop up on the stage and grab these two bags.
While they're doing that, Fargo was number 18.
Wild Hogs was number three.
And people are like, how did Trump happen?
Interesting.
Let's do some plugs, starting with you, Chad Daniels.
What do you got coming up?
What can we do to see you and enjoy you?
I'm going to be at the San Francisco Punchline coming up in August.
And at the end of August on the 24th and 25th, I'll be at Gotham Comedy Club in New York City.
All right.
What happened to your name tag?
Is it around somewhere?
Oh, it's behind that one.
Cool.
I'll take both of those.
Todd's doesn't have a shithead on the back.
Neither does mine.
What the hell?
Could you write a shithead on there?
Here's a pen.
Sorry, I hit you in the face with it.
And then where's Tanya at?
Rise over there.
What's your plugs, Todd?
I'll be in Stir Crazy Comedy Club in Glendale, Arizona
the second week in August,
and I'll be at the Petaloba Comedy Festival
some other time in August,
and then my Netflix special that's out right now,
and then my show tonight at 9 o'clock at the Mainline.
The Petaluma and Petaluma Festival?
Petaluma?
Petaluma and Petaluma.
But I don't know.
Yeah, Petaluma and Petaluma.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
It is?
Yeah.
Oh, then that.
It's because it's fun.
Say Pet-a-Lama in Petaluma. I don't know if you're kidding. Are you kidding with me It's because it's fun. Say pet a llama in Petaluma.
I don't know if you're kidding.
Are you kidding with me?
This is real, Todd.
I'm not going to fuck around about llamas.
Good job, Tanya.
Thank you.
His name's Rye.
Call him Tanya.
Deanne Smith, where can we see you do your thing?
At the end of August, I'll be in Burlington Vermont at the
Vermont Comedy Club
it's an awesome place
you gotta go
if you're listening now
and you haven't been there
it's one of the best
comedy clubs in the country
yeah absolutely
so I'm excited about that
and then look at my website
I'll try to update it
before this comes out
and lots of places
Nashville, D.C.
etc
thank you
yes
Chris Gathered
I wanna come over to you yeah say right into your eyes yeah Thank you. Yes. Chris Gathered.
I want to come over to you.
Yeah.
Say right into your eyes.
Yeah.
That treating you poorly is one of my favorite things to do.
And I hope we can continue this relationship.
I just hope I'm never in the same room with you and Jason Manzoukas.
The two people who claim to be friends who are
always mean to me.
You didn't
tell me if I'm allowed to do plugs.
I just wanted
to get that out of the way first. No, thank you for
having me. But what do you got to plug, dude? It's always a pleasure.
I'm on the road a lot. I'm at the Vermont
Comedy Club next weekend in Burlington. I'm also
doing Minneapolis, Salt Lake City,
Austin, Toronto, and London all in the next chunk.
So chrisgeth.com is where you can get tickets
for all of those.
All right.
And we got Ron Bennington.
And four days ago, I became a grandfather.
Yay!
I'll be learning to whittle
and handing out butterscotch treats.
One more time for all of my guests,
Ron Bennington, Chris Ketler, Deanne Smith,
Todd Glass, and Chad Daniels.
I don't need that.
Why are you giving me that?
Oh, yeah, I'll read it.
Wait, whose is this one?
Oh, that was Ron's.
I took Ron's.
That's what happened.
You're cool.
You're good.
Just wait for me in the green room.
I want to not talk to you in there.
Saddest exit.
Thank you to JFL, to Montreal,
to all the people who came out
to this big Salon Opera Hyatt Grand today.
Thank you, guys.
I appreciate it.
Hope to see you again.
And as always,
this goddamn humidity
is a shithead.
Summer construction closures
are a shithead.
Death is a shithead.
Take that, death.
And cue the music.
People who design escalators that lead into stairs are a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart
for you, cause Doug
loves movies!