Doug Loves Movies - Todd Glass, Kevin Kraft and Dan Van Kirk guest

Episode Date: November 18, 2018

Live from the American Comedy Company in Sweet Home San Diego, Doug welcomes Todd Glass, Kevin Kraft and Dan Van Kirk to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitc...her Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:01 Today's show is brought to you in part by Screen Dive. Lights, camera, listen. From 20th Century Fox comes Screen Dive, a brand new podcast that takes you behind the scenes of some of the legendary studio's most beloved films. Take a trip down memory lane with the filmmakers and contributors behind favorites like The Sandbox, Young Frankenstein, Devil Wears Prada, Super Troopers, and Planet of the Apes. There's something for everyone. Subscribe now to screen dive and get started on your journey into the Fox filmography.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in filmography Hey, hey, hey, everybody. That's not where you respond. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Four Plus Movies. Coming to you once again from the American Comedy Company, underground, in downtown San Diego. All right, we're doing it, you guys. This is awesome.
Starting point is 00:01:47 This is a great turnout. Normally, I do a show on the night before Thanksgiving every year. But this year, we're changing it up. It's Saturday, November 17th, 2018. And I can always count on a lot of good name tags here in Sweet Home San Diego. So let's see what we've got. We've got Vanilla Sal? Cy.
Starting point is 00:02:15 Your name is Cy? Yeah. Okay. Sorry that I said Sal, because that's a name and Cy is not. What about, what's this planeains Trains and Automobiles? What does it say? It's Payne's Gains and Donnie Mobiles. What?
Starting point is 00:02:33 Payne's Gains and Donnie Mobiles. This is a full-on Wahlberg thing. Wahlberg jokes. You know, that guy retired from the show a long time ago. Wahlberg jokes. You know, that guy retired from the show a long time ago. I know it's sad, but you know, new things rise from the things that go away.
Starting point is 00:02:55 What's this one say? Nicole's? Oh, because of the movie Holes. Nicole's. Come on, you guys. That's a good name tag, and she's in the front row. There's a bunch more back there that I can't possibly see, but I'm sure my guests will give you all equal consideration.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Thank you for your efforts. Doug plugs. New York and Los Angeleseles the tradition continues two nights of 12 guests of christmas on two coasts 12 guests east coast edition is at the grammese theater new york city november 25 and 26th at 8 p.m and then the 12 guests West Coast is at Largo in Los Angeles December 2nd and 3rd at 8pm. For deets on these shows and more
Starting point is 00:03:54 go to Douglovesmovies.com That's Douglovesmovies.com Yeah! Caw caw! Caw caw! Oh no! We've awoken Eddie. Oh, no. We've awoken Eddie.
Starting point is 00:04:09 With your heart and your belief, I come to life. What? It's true. You guys believe in Eddie, so he comes to life every time. What other comedy shows do they do here at American Comedy Company, Eddie, where you come to life? Is there any other comedians that really bring in a crowd that conjures you? No.
Starting point is 00:04:36 I'm the only one? You're the only one. I'm the only one. Because people probably don't refer to you. They probably don't look to you and respect you and call you by your actual name. Nope. They just act like I'm not even here.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Now, Eddie, let me ask you this. How do you feel about the fact that, I mean, I called you. I just guessed that your name was Eddie, and I guess I was right because you respond to it. But how do you feel about the fact that the NRA has a friendly gun eagle called Eddie? Are you fucking kidding me?
Starting point is 00:05:12 I'm sorry if this is the first time you're hearing about it. It is the first time! Oh my god, I can't believe I'm breaking this news to you. Wait, the NRA has an eagle named Ed? Eddie? Full on Eddie? Yeah, Eddie.
Starting point is 00:05:29 The only thing that can stop a bad eagle with a gun is a good eagle named me! Let's find an eagle named me because your name is Eddie. Damn it. But thanks for coming to life once again. You got it.
Starting point is 00:05:49 You know, if you have anything to say at all, you know, during the show, feel free to jump in. Be nice to each other. Do you have... Oh, that's just... That's something I wanted to say. That sounds like something you should say at the end.
Starting point is 00:06:05 And also, I should look in the direction of where you are. It helps. How about Thanksgiving? You got big Thanksgiving plans, Eddie? Oh, no, you know what? I don't tend to partake in holidays where animals are killed, specifically birds. Although I hate fucking turkeys.
Starting point is 00:06:27 So what? Thanksgiving, Christmas, and that's it, right? Yeah, pretty much. None of the rest of them are bird killers. I don't like hot wing contests. I don't like them either. Alright, so we'll check in with you again
Starting point is 00:06:44 later, Eddie. Let me show you guys what i brought for the prize bag this is pretty exciting i'm gonna bring the first the biggest item out oh shit it fell down uh yeah i was i had i had to bring this uh oh by the way this bag that i brought it in is from a place called Raw Sushi R.A. in Austin, Texas. And it's really good. But I brought, you know, I stay at the hotel that I stay at here in San Diego quite a bit. So they gave me a bottle of Callaway Cellar Selections Vintage 2016. Cabernet Sauvignon.
Starting point is 00:07:31 So, yeah, so, you know, if you're into wine or getting drunk, that should do the job. And then this is a fanny pack I got in Tempe, Arizona at Spinelli's Pizza. If you're at Spinelli's Pizza, try the pepperoni knots and thank me later. I brought some magazines from different places I've been to. Because they have them in the hotel room. Phoenix Magazine. Spinelli's is in Tem tempe but that's close by and then uh oh shit here's another magazine i'm more excited about this one for reasons you'll figure out in a second
Starting point is 00:08:16 austin magazine i was just in austin doing shows with kill tony Master Pancake. And I'm excited to say they'll be back in Austin on December 29th, doing a Doug Loves Movies at 420 at Cap City Comedy Club. And then on New Year's Eve, I'm doing two stand-up shows with lots of great stand-ups from the Austin area, also at Cap City. And also in the prize bag, some stickers that say Doug Loves Movies, plus all the stuff brought by my three guests today, who are all regulars on the program.
Starting point is 00:09:03 And we're going to have a very nice time again it's all men you know that's how I like it please give a big warm welcome to Todd Glass, Kevin Craft and Dan Van Kirk Kirk! Wow! Look at us!
Starting point is 00:09:30 Where do you want me? Where do you want me? Doug? Sit wherever you want, Todd. You sit right next to Doug. No offense. Yeah, that worked out great. I'm glad we worked out the seating. Wow.
Starting point is 00:09:45 And we're ready to get going. Let's meet these dudes individually, starting with the man directly to my left. You know from the Jason Ellis program on Faction Talk 103 on SiriusXM, to the listeners, I'm not reading that off a piece of paper. My trying-to-remember- it voice sounds like I'm reading it. It's Kevin Kraft, everybody!
Starting point is 00:10:12 Thank you, thank you. Thank you for having me, Doug. It's an honor to be back. You're a great American. Oh, well, thank you for... Oh, speaking of great Americans, Eddie is Eddie's on hand
Starting point is 00:10:28 so don't be scared when he comes in like that I'm very excited to finally meet Eddie for the first time I didn't realize wow he's got a shockingly large penis good for you Eddie we don't need to point it out but I'm blessed
Starting point is 00:10:43 it's even more alarming that it's like a human man penis you, Eddie. We don't need to point it out, but I'm blessed. It's even more alarming that it's a human man penis. It's not like a bird penis. It's a man penis. Very shocking to see. I can't be entirely perfect. All right. Well, I'm glad we've established that Eddie is part bird and part man, because he can't be perfect.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Thank you, Kevin, for that. Songs about hot dogs. And thank you for being here. And let's also say hello to headlining this weekend here at the American Comedy Co., The ACC as some of my hipster comedy friends refer to it. It's Todd Glass! What? Shut the fuck up. Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Sorry to interrupt your part of the show, Todd, but I forgot to mention that I'm also putting in the prize bag a button that says Stitcher on it. Wow. Yeah, that was pretty important. That's why I jumped in right there,
Starting point is 00:11:52 because it's a pretty special, unique item going in the bag. Eddie getting pictures over there. How you doing, Eddie? That's a different Eddie. Wait, what are you talking about? That's a different Eddie. What do you mean? what's the other Eddie? The one you're talking to.
Starting point is 00:12:07 I'm not taking pictures. I just want the listener at home to know I'm not a picture taker. I'm not a creep. Oh, your name's Eddie, too? I don't take pictures without asking. That's a creep move. Are you Eddie, too? Yeah, I'm Eddie.
Starting point is 00:12:19 So why don't we call him E1 or you E1 and him E2? I'm definitely E1. Alright. Thanks for being here Todd. We also have You told me play along with the crow bit. It's not a crow bit. Hawk. You
Starting point is 00:12:37 motherfucker! Call me a crow? Hawk. Evil. There's evil. Okay. Todd I'm sorry to yell at your prop comic friend. How dare you? How dare you? How dare you?
Starting point is 00:12:50 How dare you? Name one prop I am. Oh, he's got a whole band on stage. That's a prop. That's not a prop. He gets propped up by that brand every night. You're a shitty pigeon. Oh, you son of a bitch.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Yeah, you're dirty. You're not even a pigeon. Come over here. Rub your face against my talons that can't move! Yeah, Todd, you're just brave because he can't attack you. He's just a drawing. Yeah, well, of course. What?!
Starting point is 00:13:20 What?! You can't attack anybody because then he'll drop that sign that says the American comedy company. What are you implying? That if it was a real eagle talking to me, I would run away? I swear to God, my head's melting right now. What are you saying?
Starting point is 00:13:35 I'm not real. Eddie's real, Todd. Motherfucker calls me a crow. Jeremy Hunts. Also joining us today. Hello. Not you anymore. Moving on to Dan Van Kirk!
Starting point is 00:14:00 Hello. Hello. Sorry about that, Dan. All that back and forth with Eddie really cut into your time. I'll wait. Eddie should apologize to you. Eddie, I would have accepted an apology.
Starting point is 00:14:14 You don't deserve one. See, you're hopped up. What's wrong with you, Eddie? Tim, I thought it was me. I thought I was being argumentative. He's got that big dick energy. All day, every day. Well, nonetheless, I'm glad to be here.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Thank you, Dan. Thank you, buddy. Thank you for coming down and leaving dumb people town to be here. Happy to do it. And a very extremely popular podcast. And you're doing live episodes of it in front of audiences? Yes, we are. On December 10th, Monday, we'll be doing the 100th
Starting point is 00:14:50 Dumb People Town at the Largo Theater in Los Angeles, California. Heard of it. Yeah. Will Forte will be our guest and it'll be a lot of fun. And then we're doing Sketch Fest too on January 11th. We'll be doing that on that Friday. Yeah, I'm there on the 12th and the 13th.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Obviously now might not be a good time, but I think it's good to throw some love. Obviously, sorry to hear about the Sklar brothers both dying. Whoa, what? Oh yeah, you didn't hear? Oh shit. I'm the king of dumb people town.
Starting point is 00:15:19 I thought that would be funny. Both of you, Todd was weird saying that and Dan's response was weird. Because I just want to... I don't want it to be real. I just think it's... You know what? Because you thought I was serious.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I apologize. You don't know. It's so absurd. I think, would I really bring it up now? But yeah, maybe. You're thinking, yeah, you would, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't bring it up.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Well, I might, but you would have to know they were dead for me to bring it up and they're not dead. They're fine. They're fine and alive and I hope they stay that way. Aren't you in a better mood now?
Starting point is 00:15:45 Yep. You're like, oh, they're alive. You don't even give a shit. You were just fucking with me. You don't care. I did hear that they're in a small plane right now with some musicians. Oh, shit. We're going to have to keep checking in and finding out whether or not the Sklars are alive or not.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Because anything could happen at this point. There's a storm in the northeast. Their mom has their phone. So tweet at her and tell her you loved her kids. Sorry, they're dead. If you do that, the Sklar brothers are going to fucking love it. I'm not doing this because I don't like them. If you were them and people started tweeting you,
Starting point is 00:16:17 sorry to hear you're dead, you wouldn't be going, well, who the fuck did something? That's what happens in the comedy community. I always tell people, Rory Scoville's dead and I go tweet at his mom she has his phone and then the next morning he wakes up why are all these people
Starting point is 00:16:28 saying sorry your son's dead you do the same shit and you know it the weird shit you do oh how about if I found out you tell people to tweet at their parents different version
Starting point is 00:16:43 you know it you get the joke or you just say, hey, their family has the phone so if you want to tweet some love at them. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:16:50 I don't know. What the fuck? Why don't I shut the fuck up? Thank you to all my guests for being here. Sorry about the scars dying They're not They're probably not dead
Starting point is 00:17:09 Chances are really good they're not dead But we will look into it Dan what did you bring for the prize bag? I brought something that I can only do Well I guess I can do it somewhere else But nobody would be as happy I brought a $25 gift certificate to Coin Op
Starting point is 00:17:24 Yeah I love that place So I want a $25 gift certificate to Coin Op. Yeah. I love that place. I want other people to be able to love it as well. It's Caddy Corner. You step out of here, and there's the double deuce. Just don't even look twice. No, that's the only look twice.
Starting point is 00:17:41 I think they have good food, too. Just double the deuce, and then go Caddy Corner. It's not one of those lights where you can go through the diagonally. So wait. You know what I mean? Take a scooter. Do it properly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Yeah. Get on a lime. It's going to be hard to find one in San Diego. Get on a lime or a bird or a razor. Or a wind. There's wind ones. Wind? Yes. Now there's ones with seats that are doing some launch promotion.
Starting point is 00:18:05 That's just nature wind that pushes you around town. They make cars now. No. You get them, you just check them out. What do you have for the prize bag, Dan Van Kirk? You know what? I've got something that you can only bring here. I guess I could bring it somewhere else, too,
Starting point is 00:18:23 but people wouldn't be able to use it as well. I love this place. I forgot you said all that shit. Just pass it down. It's a coin-op. Just pass it down. I love it. I hope that somebody else can love it too.
Starting point is 00:18:34 I wanted to give coin-op another mention. Now, when you go there, it's catty corner from here. All right, all right. I heard the food's good. Don't look twice at the double deuce. You know what? Take a scooter there. All right.
Starting point is 00:18:46 You know they have cars now. They have cars. They have cars. Wait, take the car. I get it. I get it. There are three people listening to this show that think they're losing their minds. You did the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah, we're good. I brought a gift certificate. You can't say there wasn't more gift certificate. You can't say... There wasn't more last time. You can't make it go longer. So, Dan, what did you bring for the prize money? I brought a place that I love. You can only do this here.
Starting point is 00:19:15 I guess you could do it somewhere else, but other places they wouldn't be able to use it. I brought a $25 gift certificate. That's your hosting ability. Todd! Todd, your hosting ability. Todd! Todd, please stop it. This is a free download for a song about hot dogs. It's a new podcast.
Starting point is 00:19:31 It's the first official spin-off from the Todd Glass Show. It's called Songs About Hot Dogs with John Byrne Wagner, so that's free. So I just thought, who's coming to the show tonight? I really did think of something like they would get home. I imagine a lot of you smoke pop, but it would be good for you to have. Mostly, it's all food. So Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I was going would get home. I imagine a lot of you smoke pop, but you would like, it would be good for you to have. Mostly, it's all food.
Starting point is 00:19:46 So cinnamon toast crunch. I was going to get vanilla. I was going to get vanilla ice cream. Just do me a favor. If you win this, get vanilla ice cream, go home, fill it up a little, you know, in a bowl of this and then put the vanilla ice cream on top.
Starting point is 00:19:58 And it's fucking, it's stupid. It's really good. It's fucking better than you think it's going to be. Oh, I think it's going to be pretty good. It better murder me. Also... Because I'm thinking it's going to be close to that.
Starting point is 00:20:13 It is. It's really good. Any cereal is good. So, vanilla Oreos. Now, you might have never had them and you might not think... I think you'll be like, I actually like them. The other ones are too chocolatey. Crack them open. Let me try one. You serious? Yeah. I'm not saying the others are too chocolatey for real, by the way.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Just give me one of those motherfuckers. I'm going to fucking eat it. Oh, wait. It's theirs, though. What do you mean? They'll be fine. Yeah, and while you're at it, lick every one. Yeah, just pull one out.
Starting point is 00:20:46 I thought these were double stuff. Fuck. They're regular stuff? Yeah. No thank you. All right, there you go. I think I had one of these once before. I don't think they're great.
Starting point is 00:21:04 That's good. That's a fucking church cookie right there. What is that even? Like a church cookie? Just clean? Yeah, it's very bland, Todd. No, the cookies they give after church. Super bland.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yeah, like little kids and grandmas love this shit. How about in church? In the Catholic church, they had told all the little kids, don't play with their penises, but they're basically going, oh, we'll take care of that for you. Yeah. little kids don't play with their penises and then but they're basically going oh we'll take care of that for you okay so this after I told that joke I purposely looked into my bag I knew it
Starting point is 00:21:32 would make it funny like oh that that didn't know anyway you can't even blame the crowd cuz you're so perfect so every time it goes bad I hate my I hate my hey can't get over my overly overly criticize myself, so you'll forgive me. These are chocolate chip, just add water, not even an egg or anything. You can figure it out, so. No, I'm, it's hard. I made
Starting point is 00:21:56 pancakes three weeks ago. I was like, everybody's made such a big deal about it my whole life. Oh, you want, it's easy. Anyway. It's like, what the fuck? My parents, oh, you want pancakes. I added water to this shit and I fucking fried it. Hot cocoa, of course.
Starting point is 00:22:15 By the way, if you want to show up at anybody's house and it's not expensive, bring two of these or two boxes of apple cider and a sleeve of cups. You basically show up and go, yeah, I got 20 things of hot chocolate. People like it. Okay. And it's easy and it's cheap. You just show up. Be appropriate. Don't show up to a fancy dinner with it. But if you're going to a party,
Starting point is 00:22:33 people go, hey, there's some hot chocolate in the kitchen. 20 cups. You know what I mean? Very fancy. Okay. Mac and cheese. Okay, now we're talking. Now we're talking. Okay, it's done. Are they spirals? I did think of two last things. I really thought of this. I pictured someone going back to
Starting point is 00:22:49 someone's house and they're all eating it, but one person's just trying to be sort of healthy. Everyone else is alright, but someone's like, fuck. So I got almonds. Not even any salt. Just if you're like, fuck. Almonds. Almonds. Almonds. Did I say it wrong? sorry my father died
Starting point is 00:23:06 right after he had me just people are like wait why does that have to do he said almonds wrong and I always did it to honor him and I swear I thought then maybe tic tacs and that's it
Starting point is 00:23:24 oh and another song is about hot dogs use your microphone voice I thought maybe Tic Tacs if you need them. And that's it. Oh, and another song is about hot dogs. Use your microphone voice. Oh, yeah. Sorry about the microphone. Sorry in the back. The back? The listeners?
Starting point is 00:23:35 In the back of the room. Oh, well, they're not here. Sorry in the back and the listeners. The listeners hear you. All right. Thank you for helping me, by the way. Oh, you got it. All that stuff, Todd, I mean, maybe the best contribution
Starting point is 00:23:50 to the prize bank this year. Thank you. He paused like I was being sarcastic. I know, I don't know. I think you're up to something. No, it's really good. Don't you think it's really good, you guys?
Starting point is 00:24:07 I tried to put thought into it. Yeah, I mean, if you're going to just go out and buy a bunch of shit, you did the best of that genre. How dare you? Kevin, what do you got? Yeah, that's a tough act to follow. Yeah, that's why I made a big deal out of it, so that you could just basically come up with anything,
Starting point is 00:24:28 and everyone will be fine. I've got this bottle of water. A bottle of Fiji water? Yeah. That way you can make Todd's mac and cheese, hot cocoa, and cookies. So that completes that. I could say he's part of the mac and cheese
Starting point is 00:24:44 and part of the cookies, because without this water, you don't want to put your fucking shitty spigot water in there. You put some clean water in there. It's going to taste so fancy. So fucking good. Yeah. I do not like the expression shitty spigot water. It feels problematic. It's got a weird twang to it.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Seriously, it was my grandmother's nickname in college and they wouldn't tell me why. None of my family would tell me why. I just called her SSW. You could find her in every room, and it was easy to turn her on. And that is how you get it done! No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Yes. No. Yes. No. Wow. Shit. I love all of you. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:25:40 How do you feel about Get It Done, Eddie? I like it. Any time where people cheer together, it makes me happy. All right. I thought you'd be behind. I thought you'd be all right with it. I'm trying to calm down. What else do you have, Kevin?
Starting point is 00:25:56 I don't know if we have any gamers in the house tonight. All right, cool. We got a couple. I got this Amiibo Charizard. He's a Pokemon. So that's in there. It's getting a little cold, so I've got this World of Warcraft knit cap. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:26:16 And Nightmare Before Christmas socks. Oh, I think I might hang on to those. I've got some Pumanati stickers for my podcast, Mad Scientist Party Hour. And then this comic. It's a big trade. Ultimate Galactus Trilogy. I don't really care for that, so you guys can have it. That's about it.
Starting point is 00:26:40 All right. That's what I got. Nice plug for Ultimate Galactus. Yeah. They're going to probably move a few units. But yeah, give me all that stuff. Oh, did I get all Todd's stuff too? Here's Todd's food.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Yeah. But great job, everybody, bringing all... Oh, don't forget the water. What did you get? I brought a... This is a place I love here in San Diego. I guess you get? I brought a... This is a place I love here in San Diego. I guess you can get it at other places too, but they wouldn't be able to use it.
Starting point is 00:27:10 It's a $25 gift certificate to Coin-Op. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I love that place and I want other people to be able to love it too. I heard they have good food. They do have good food. It's actually catty corner. I thought
Starting point is 00:27:27 it was called Quan OP. So should they just go ahead and double stuff Pop-Tarts or are they going to fucking, like, how long are they going to wait to do that? It's going to work. They've never double stuffed one thing on the fucking planet that people didn't like. Double icing, double shit inside.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Fucking do it, right? I'm right. If you think I'm wrong, you know nothing. You should know that. Anyone that's gone, he's fucking right. If you think, hey, it wouldn't work, you shouldn't be in marketing. End of story. Let's go, Pop-Tarts. Double stuff it. At least double ice it. I need to, Pop-Tarts. Double stuff it.
Starting point is 00:28:05 At least double ice it. I need to... Oh, yeah. Ah. That's right. How about double ice it and less crust it? Thank you. Double icing, no crust.
Starting point is 00:28:20 I always meant double icing from the beginning, but I said double stuffed, and that's not what I meant. Either way. It could have double stuff in there, too. Double icing, double the stuff. Kellogg's, Pop-Tarts. I said all the words wrong to cover up the first time I said it. You people are great. I really have a...
Starting point is 00:28:37 Do you want to sleep over? Dan. Yep. Van. Kirk. Yes. What was the last movie you saw? Kiss Kiss Bang Bang I know right
Starting point is 00:28:51 How'd that happen? What's that? How'd that happen? HBO By yourself? Yup You know what though It's a little
Starting point is 00:29:02 It's a little problematic. It is? Yeah. Why? There's multiple times in the movie where someone is offended that Val Kilmer's character is gay. They keep saying things like, what's wrong with you? You hang around with gay men? And you're like, I don't remember this being there, and I'm not totally okay totally okay with it yeah it happens like three or four times in the movie yeah but how old is
Starting point is 00:29:28 that movie 2005 yeah that's a while ago it's doesn't feel still doesn't feel good well it was rough even at the time because i think that was part of the idea was that they were unnecessarily rough on okay because doesn't the gay character end up being pretty awesome gay perry yeah oh yeah he's phenomenal yeah yeah i know yeah so he turns out to be great just didn't feel great you know all right jesus something else you want to tell us dan i think that covers it okay todd well yeah no what no i wasn't asking you to just agree with what Dan just said. I was trying to get along. Same question for you. Did you see a movie recently?
Starting point is 00:30:17 Yes, I did. I know this is a tough question. No, I did. And I thought on the way here, every time I think, remember, you're going to do the show, so just go see a movie. And I think, how many times can you say that before people go, no, you per... So I saw the Mr. Rogers movie, and I
Starting point is 00:30:30 was, because I knew, so it was great. It was, everything you think it is, go get, go realize how good we can be as a species. It's fucking amazing. If you think you're going to love it, you're really going to love it. Maybe documentaries are your thing. Oh, was that a documentary?
Starting point is 00:30:47 Oh, it was. It was. It're really going to love it. Maybe documentaries are your thing. Oh, was that a documentary? Oh, it was. It was. It was. But they called it a movie. I sold it to movies, so I guess that's technically a movie. That's what a friend of mine said. He's a lawyer. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:30:56 That's what I'm saying is that it seems like you might be more. I can follow it a little easier. Like have more of a patience for it because it's a lot of, it's kind of constant information and it's not made up by somebody. Right. And I do like movies too, by the way. I'm just saying, you know, I don't want to look like I'm just going to go see documentaries. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Alright, we'll see how much you love movies when we get to the trivia questions. All I can do is my best. Yeah, that's not good enough. No, I know. But All I can do is my best Yeah, that's not good enough No, I know But we'll still have a good time That's the important thing Kevin, what's the last movie you saw? I saw Mune
Starting point is 00:31:36 Guardian of the Moon You ever hear of that shit? Nope What is that shit? It's like some weird CG movie. Really? Yeah, I think it's like a French movie that got ported over into English. You watched it beginning to end?
Starting point is 00:31:52 Yes. Mune, Guardian of the Moon? Yes, it streams on Netflix. It's really weird, but Weed makes it awesome. Has anybody here seen that? Not yet. It's in his queue. Well, I did watch it after I got home from seeing Widows, which was dope.
Starting point is 00:32:17 You liked Widows? Awesome. Because that's not out yet, right? No, it's out. Or it just came out? It just came out. Okay. But it was sick.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Yeah, people were saying that like at the Toronto Film Festival or some shit, people were blown away by it. Because it looks melodramatic. It doesn't look like it should be taken seriously, but apparently everybody really commits to it. Yeah, it kicks ass. It's got its funny parts. It's not like a straight up action movie.
Starting point is 00:32:41 The trailer makes it look a little action-y. Right. But it's very enjoyable. It starts with a very jarring scene. A lot of strong actors. Yeah. It starts with Liam Neeson in bed with Viola Davis. Spoiler alert. And he...
Starting point is 00:32:55 I'm in. I used to play the Viola and drive a Nissan. Tell us more. Liam Neeson eats her face. What? They're married and he goes in for a kiss and his mouth goes nose to chin.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Okay, but she survives. Yes. Alright. I do that to dogs. Sound like a zombie movie or something. It's unsettling. Eats her face.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Everybody in the theater was laughing, and it was not meant as a comedic moment. It starts strong, is what I'm saying. He doesn't, you know, Liam doesn't get a lot of love scenes, so, you know. That might have been his first time making out. Probably was a little overzealous. He looked very excited.
Starting point is 00:33:47 All right. Lately, I've been trying to write down what the last movie I saw was so I can play along, but I didn't. I did see the first episode of The Marvelous Ms. Maisel. And, yeah, people love it, and I did enjoy it. So I'm going to watch episode two, and I'll get back to you guys on Doug Loves TV. But now it's time to say,
Starting point is 00:34:12 turn it off, Bert, and let the games begin! We got some name tags. People made some name tags. You guys have to pick who you'd like to play for on behalf of by physically grabbing a name tag. There's so many. And bringing it back to your seat. Can we get the house lights
Starting point is 00:34:34 up a little bit? And oh, Todd's fumbling around. No, he's good. I take it back. He's not fumbling. We'll be right back after these messages. Today's show is brought to you in part by StarTalk. In a world filled with fake news, flat earthers, and conspiracy theorists,
Starting point is 00:34:53 what's a thinking person like you supposed to do? Think like a skeptic, of course. On last week's episode of StarTalk, all-stars, neuroscientist and host Heather Berlin, Ph.D., and her comic co-host Ari Shafir investigate the importance of skepticism and the power of evidence-based thinking. To help us separate fact from fiction, Heather and Ari are joined in studio by guests Karis Santam Maria and Dr. Stephen Novella, two of the hosts of the popular weekly science podcast, The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe. If you're worried about the growing tide of anti-intellectualism
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Starting point is 00:35:56 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts and make sure to subscribe. Today's show is also brought to you by Blue Chew. Guys, remember the days when you're always ready to go now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed by going to bluechew.com bluechew.com that's blue like the colorings you the first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, so you know they work.
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Starting point is 00:37:26 We just got back, Todd. That was all during a commercial break. Oh, was that really? Yeah. That's a good way. Yeah. I just wanted to warn you that all that great comedy you did during there won't be in the show. Dan?
Starting point is 00:37:41 Yeah. Who'd you get? Sueta, Hot American Summer. Right? Sueta? And it's got a whole bunch of people on it, including you, Jen Kirkman, Jeff Tate.
Starting point is 00:37:57 There's tons of great people on it. Mr. Todd Glass is on this poster. Really? Oh, shit. You know what? Give me that one, sir. Come get it. This is horrible. You're lucky I'm lazy. You're not on that one, Todd? There's so many better ones behind you.
Starting point is 00:38:09 You have no idea. I felt bad. They knew it, too. They're like, he picks that one? I did. So always remember. So you're not on that one, Todd? No, but he seemed like a nice guy.
Starting point is 00:38:20 I said pick one that you're on. I know, but I walked by that guy after you said that, and he went, look, look, look. And I went, I'm not on it. But I didn't want to go, I'm not on it, because I look like a dick. I'm not on it. Who the fuck am I? Oh, I'm not on it. I don't want it.
Starting point is 00:38:31 So I took it. And then the people behind me go, I fucking took the time to put you on it. But that guy was like, oh, I have a disease. That's what he told me. He whispered it to me. He said that? Who was it? He goes, I have a disease.
Starting point is 00:38:43 He said that to you? Yeah. So I felt bad. I'm like a disease He said that to you? Let me Yeah So I felt bad I'm like oh let me have it Let me have it I got you I said I got you champ
Starting point is 00:38:50 You tried to do one thing nice Right Well he Do we know that he doesn't? No I hope so I hope you're fine though So you pick somebody Because you have a strong feeling
Starting point is 00:39:03 That you're going to win for them Oh right Yeah you're Sorry you're going to win for them? Oh, right. Sorry, you're not winning, but thanks for the poster. You're right. Every time I think that person's getting it, but they're not. But this is his poster. Is this yours?
Starting point is 00:39:22 Is there meaning behind this? It's the movie Get Out. He changes to Brett Out. Oh, okay. Because his name is Brett. I like it. You know what? I'm glad I picked you. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:39:33 It looks like it's the Korean poster. That might be what's throwing you off. Who's sitting in the chair? That's the guy from the movie Get Out. And what's his name? Yeah, Dubu Dubu Dabe. Dubu Dubu Dabe? That's racist, Todd.
Starting point is 00:39:45 I'm sure that's racist. You just said it. What are you, fuck, I didn't. No, you repeated it wrong. All right, so Todd's playing for Brett. Who are you playing for, Kevin? Is it Daniel Aluoglio? Is that close?
Starting point is 00:40:03 No? Damn it. I'm playing for Nicole's. Oh yeah, we talked about that. Instead of holes, it's Nicole's. The Shia LaBeouf joint. Yeah. He was just at the show in LA
Starting point is 00:40:17 a couple nights ago or last week. Somebody in the audience did a selfie to prove that he was there. Was he well behaved? Yeah, he was great. I didn't find out until later. I heard he enjoyed it. I heard he thought it was,
Starting point is 00:40:31 he didn't understand what was happening. I hear he says that a lot. He thought it was, yeah, I didn't understand what was happening, but I thought it was fun. It's probably what he says about most things. But that's, you know, we don't get celebrity reviews very often, so I'm going to run
Starting point is 00:40:45 with it. So where's Nicole at? She's right in the front. I'm very lazy. Congratulations, Nicole, because it's going to be a tight competition, but Kevin's my choice to win today. No pressure.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Mine too. I think he might win too. Yeah, I think we're all if we could put money on it. His grandmother's here and it would be a nice thing for her to be able to see. I wonder, who does Eddie back in this race? Well, right now I'm currently backing everybody. That's a good eagle. Get it? Yeah, but he's behind us. Literally backing all of you. That's a good eagle. Get it? Yeah, but he's behind us.
Starting point is 00:41:27 Literally backing all of you. He's backing all of us. But which one would you pick in this competition? Probably go Todd. I like an underdog. Oh. All right, good luck with that. Because here we go.
Starting point is 00:41:46 This first game we're going to play. What's the matter, Todd? I saw another movie and I can't remember what it is, but it doesn't matter. That's so funny. The first game is name another movie you've seen. I'd like to back Todd as well. I think Todd's going to win. No, Todd, we're going to play a game.
Starting point is 00:42:00 I think Todd's going to win. No, Todd, we're going to play a game. I'm doing Douglas movies in Austin, Texas at Cap City Comedy on Saturday, December 29th at 420. So I want to play a game that came out of Austin, Texas. It's called Alex's, Jason and Deb's IMDb game, a.k.a. Talking Talkies. Alexis, Jason, and Deb's IMDb game, aka Talking Talkies, I am going to start listing off the things at the top of someone's IMDb page under best known for.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Usually there's four titles. Sometimes they're not movies, but it's just projects that an entertainer is known for when you think you know who it is buzz in with your own name and then I will go to you and you will answer it if you get it right you can get bonus points Todd are you losing interest in these rules you get bonus points for naming additional movies or rules. You get bonus points for naming additional movies or TV projects or whatever that person
Starting point is 00:43:12 was in. Negative one if you jump in and get it wrong. So be cautious in your play. Alright, so you're buzzing in with your own name, Todd. I don't know why I'm telling you that.
Starting point is 00:43:27 You'll probably just hang out. Dan and Kevin, you know who you are. Here we go. The first title, and this person's best known for is a film called Rebound. known for is a film called Rebound. Anybody think they know who that might be? Is there a dog in that movie?
Starting point is 00:43:52 No questions. No questions. Didn't the dog play basketball? Todd, use your microphone voice. And no questions. It was not about a basketball playing time. All right, you guys ready for the second? Second credit this person's best known for?
Starting point is 00:44:18 It was something called Todd Glass Talks About Stuff. Okay, Kevin? Kevin, who is it? Todd Glass Talks About Stuff. Okay, Kevin? Kevin, who is it? Todd Glass? That is correct. I knew I heard of the movie. It was a horrible experience. I had a little, little, well, it ended up a little part
Starting point is 00:44:45 because I played a coach and I didn't, oh, the whole, I'm sick every day. Every day I had to. Wait, you played a coach and had a little part in Todd Glass,
Starting point is 00:44:54 Todd Glass talks about stuff. No, that's when I knew it was me. I'm not, but the other one, oh, I was a referee and I had to throw a basketball. I was nervous. They acted like it wasn't a big deal. They don't tell you, like they go, oh, I was a referee, and I had to throw a basketball. I was nervous. They acted like it wasn't a big deal.
Starting point is 00:45:07 They don't tell you. They go, oh, yeah, just throw the ball up in the air and hit it with the bat. I was like, what the fuck? They think I can't do that. So the guy's like, it doesn't matter if you're bad. I go, I won't even be bad. You're going to eat up the time of the day. So they just took it out.
Starting point is 00:45:24 But that's why. And the other one, I had to throw a basketball and that was rebound. I thought there was a dog in there to be honest. Alright so Todd you just got, I mean Kevin just got one point. Yeah wow fuck. For guessing that it was Todd Glass. And do you have two more guesses for Todd's top four?
Starting point is 00:45:47 So you can get bonus points now, Todd, if he can name two more Todd Glass projects. I'm going to write down just one point. That's crazy. Did you guess that I was going to not get that? Because how? I had a feeling you might not remember the name of a movie that you were in. Well, I did remember it.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I did say it sounded familiar, so that's something. You asked if it had a dog. There's another movie with a dog, I'm telling you. Air Bud. Yes. It's the same poster. Okay. It's the same poster Okay so Kevin do you have any other Todd Glass projects coming to mind
Starting point is 00:46:33 Ready Player One and The King's Speech Oh terrific guesses Todd what do you think is in your top four? Maybe Netflix or Tosh.0 Why would that be funny?
Starting point is 00:46:54 No, seriously Someone tell me I don't want to wait My friends are here They'll tell me afterwards They'll be like Because when you said that They said that
Starting point is 00:47:01 And then I'll go Oh I think just your uncertainty With your own cattle I think I was right on the. I think just your uncertainty with your own catalog. I think I was right on the money. I love, my friends will tell me. They're here. Oh, yeah. And they will tell me what you said. That is right.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Whether you tell me or not. He said they're laughing because I'm uncomfortable with my own catalog. Although I thought, yeah, up to then, I get it with Rebound. That's weird. But as soon as you said name two others, you're trying to not think of two other things you've done, but there would be in the top four. So I went, mm, mm, that's why I said it. So I think, am I right?
Starting point is 00:47:29 If I'm right, I'm going to take a swing at you. Why? Because something happened. I think you'll be fine with the results, and don't get on Dan's case. He's got gasoline to pump. Well, let's start home. I look like a guy who pumps gasoline.
Starting point is 00:47:54 What are we doing? What is happening? What is happening? Okay, Todd's coma. Oh, yeah. That's the thing you did. And then another thing you did called Comedy Gumbo. Oh, that I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:48:09 It sounds delicious. Todd's Coma was a show where I was in a coma, and I thought that would be good to just be in a show in a coma. I said it jokingly one day, like 15 years ago. I just want to have shows in a coma. I don't want to remember lines. It's very hard for me. I can just lay in bed and be in a coma.
Starting point is 00:48:22 I'd be happy. Then we actually ended up selling the show to Happy Madison, and we shot a pilot. But then it was, oh, I had to shoot the dream sequences. So that was a pain in the ass. Yeah, he had to be alive in the dream sequences. Right, because in the dream sequences, so people would be, oh, you just get to lay in a bed.
Starting point is 00:48:37 I go, that's what I thought, but no. That story reminds me, I'd like another drink. Could I please have more... Liquor. Citos and soda, a.k.a. liquor. What would you like, Todd? That one in that tin cup looks really good. Mule?
Starting point is 00:48:55 Yeah. Copper cup? Copper, yeah. Yeah. I don't even know her. Wow. Wow How The restraint he had To not do that until now
Starting point is 00:49:14 Made it worth it It was pretty fantastic Fucking awesome That's what you get if you come to my show All the guys in the band have them and it works. Alright, let's play the next round. Just say your own name when you think you know.
Starting point is 00:49:36 The first and the best known for it is Howard Stern on Demand. Kevin. Who is it, Kevin? Is it Kevin Kraft? Yes, it's Kevin Kraft. So now you get three guesses
Starting point is 00:49:53 for more shit that you've... are best known for. Well, this is embarrassing. Do you look at it ever? I've looked at it just because I'm shocked that it exists and it really is quite a bummer i've only done like pa work so i think probably it's anything you get a credit credit on okay what brody stevens comedy central show full title Full title? Oh, Brody Stevens, Enjoy It.
Starting point is 00:50:26 Or Enjoy It, Brody Stevens. Okay, two more. The Burn with Jeff Ross. One more. I don't know. I've only done three things, I think. Something called A Very Tight Place. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:42 That was a student film. Ha, ha, ha, ha, okay. That was a student film. I did for a Howard Stern intern when I worked there. Okay. All right, but you got those other... I got a credit for that? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:56 All right. And those other two were right, so you're up to four points. I think you're going to run away with this game, but we got one more round. One more round. Buzz in with your own name when you think you're going to run away with this game, but we got one more round. One more round. Buzz in with your own name when you think you know it. The first best known for is,
Starting point is 00:51:10 and thank you for the cocktail, American Comedy Company, tip the waitstaff. The first title is DVK starring Daniel Van Kirk. Daniel, what do you think it is? Who do you think it is? Daniel Van Kirk. Daniel, what do you think it is? Who do you think it is? Daniel Van Kirk.
Starting point is 00:51:27 All right, yes. That's good for one point. Why didn't I guess that? Yeah, that's good for one point. But they don't list any other things in your best known for. Perfect. Trying to keep it that way.
Starting point is 00:51:43 So we're done here. And Kevin is our winner I mean that is unfair In a nutshell What I just did I know That's a very hollow victory That I sweeped my own
Starting point is 00:51:59 IMDB page Super hollow Have you ever done that before? Done what? Where you just give Your own IMDB Oh you never done that before? Done what? Where you just give your own IMDb Oh you never played that Have you ever done that before?
Starting point is 00:52:11 Am I going to have to hire an editor for this episode? I'll pay Sometimes you're saying Do I usually do it with people's own credits? Yes Sometimes yeah It's always fun because people don't know People don't know what they've done
Starting point is 00:52:31 Unless you've done three things Yeah Or one Yeah If you've done something called Brody Stevens Enjoy It You're going to remember Yeah I got Brody coffee.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Yes. You got it. You're just jealous I can take my mother out to lunch and pay for half. Tarzana. Know it. Take bar ham. Yes. You guys, if you do Brody Stevens, you'd be losing it right now.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Because we are all nailing it. All right. This next game is called, this is a brand new game suggested by somebody on Twitter whose name I forgot. He'll write to me probably and say hey it was me it's called Hit the Sack and Kevin gets to go first then we'll go to Daniel
Starting point is 00:53:33 then to Todd and the idea is I'm gonna name a movie and you tell me if it's got Joan Cusack John Cusack, John Cusack, or both.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Yeah. And if you don't get it right, we go to the next person, and if that third person doesn't get it right, they're not paying attention. It's a great way to pick up points by paying attention. So we'll start with Kevin.
Starting point is 00:54:13 John, Joan, or both? Grandview, USA. I've never heard of that. I'll say Joan. Incorrect. Dan. I'm going to go John.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Incorrect. Todd. Both. That is correct. Feels good Or as I like to say it Shia LaBeouf Alright here comes the next one Great job Todd you're on the board With one point
Starting point is 00:54:59 Can I go last every time or is that unfair We'll see how it shakes out The order might change But we're starting with Kevin again, then Dan, and then you. Kevin, John, Joan are both class. I have not heard of that. There is a movie called Class. So I will say...
Starting point is 00:55:27 Oh? Joe and John both. Joan. Joan? Yeah. Incorrect. Ah, fuck! Dan.
Starting point is 00:55:39 I'm gonna go John. Incorrect. Todd. For those that are at home, Todd dropped the mic before answering. This isn't the good one. Yeah, get rid of that goddamn whistle. Both, both.
Starting point is 00:56:02 God, you could fucking win, buddy. I'm going to really pay attention. Both. All right, Todd's got two points. Am I winning? Way to go, dude. Thank you. We're back to Kevin.
Starting point is 00:56:18 The only time I ever won anything was a pumpkin guessing contest in fourth grade. Did you have to say, yes, that's a pumpkin? Or did you sweep with both is that a bump you know isn't odd it is you win they did it just for me too is that a pumpkin gourd or both all right Kevin Joan John are both We're talking Cusacks If you're just joining us War Inc I've not heard of that
Starting point is 00:56:58 That's a movie That's a movie apparently Nobody on the panel knows this movie. Therefore, I will say both. Both. Both is correct. Yeah! Start with Dan on this next one.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Okay. The film, classic. Hold up your boom boxes, everybody. It's Say Anything, dot, dot, dot. I'm going to go John. Incorrect. Todd. Now, Todd.
Starting point is 00:57:40 Joan. Incorrect. Why, did I fuck up? What did I do? Did I fuck up? What did I do? Did you say Joan? Kevin. Kevin. What is it, Kevin?
Starting point is 00:57:58 Say it, Kevin. I'm going to go with both. Both is correct. Yeah! He just tried to tell me what happened, but I really don't know. Did you say it in the intro? Yes. What? You said this is the one where John holds the thing up.
Starting point is 00:58:13 He just said, okay. Yeah, well, I didn't know what that meant. I just was saying it. No, you're doing great, Todd. You're tied for first. Well, there you go. Where's my applause then? Wow, you people, I let you down. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Dan gets to go first on this next one. Okay. In this game, I'll do this all night. 16 candles. Joe and John, both. JCHB. Are you ready? John Incorrect
Starting point is 00:58:53 Todd, you got this You got this, what? Both Are you sure? Yes Have you been paying attention? I just have a feeling, both Final answer
Starting point is 00:59:02 You know how this works Oh, it's not You're making me nervous. That is correct. Hey! Look at that, dude! Look at that! That's right. They love you. I knew it. You knew it, and they love you for it.
Starting point is 00:59:18 You're gonna be eating some fucking Oreos. Half a box. We got Adam. Alright, we're back to Kevin. Gross point blank. John, Joan, both.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Shh. Both? That's what the audience member said. And that is correct. Yeah! Kevin, it's really nice of Joan to get her big brother all that work. Really is nice. Or maybe she's older? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:00:03 Start with you, Dan. Okay. Cradle will rock. Joan. Incorrect. Todd. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Cradle will rock. I don't know the movie either. You don't have a lot to go on. John or both. You got this. Hold on. Don't buzz me out until you tell me you're going to do it. John or both.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Okay. What's the movie? Cradle? Cradle going to do it. John or both. Okay. What's the movie? Cradle? Cradle will rock. You got this, man. Joan. I said John or both, and you said Joan.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Oh, I made it. It was just goofing. I fucked up. He said Joan. Yeah, it was just goofing. It was just goofing. I know he said Joan. Joan is already taken. No, no, come on.
Starting point is 01:00:44 I still have to guess. Please. It was just goofing. It was just goofing. I still have to guess. It was just goofing. He was just goofing. I know he said goofing. No, no, come on. I still have to guess. Please. He was just goofing. I still have to guess. He was just goofing. Okay, so it's both or John. He was just goofing. He was just goofing.
Starting point is 01:00:51 It's John or both. John or both. Give me two seconds. John or both. John. John. Incorrect. Kevin.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Put your thinking cap on. Both. Both is correct, and Kevin is our winner. To the people who knew what I was trying to do in that game, I love you. You tried. I did try. Yeah. No, try. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:25 No, it was cool. I'm surprised Eddie didn't call you out on it. Caw, caw. Caw, caw. What, Eddie? What? I just did a little caw, caw. That's it.
Starting point is 01:01:39 Caw, caw. Caw, caw. Just a little one? Yeah. Caw, caw. That's sweet. I can't help it, Doug. If somebody's doing it to me, I gotta do it back.
Starting point is 01:01:56 Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! How hard could ventriloquism be? I never did it before and I can do that. Okay, look how hard it is. Oh, yeah be? I never did it before and I can do that Okay look everybody look how hard it is Oh yeah I never ever did it before
Starting point is 01:02:09 I know you see my mouth doing a little bit But that's pretty fucking good you know And these guys make a big fucking deal about it I say go fuck yourself Because this isn't that hard Oh hold on hold on look at me I'm ventriloquist Hey Todd this is your version of playing along
Starting point is 01:02:24 I No Hey, Todd. This is your version of playing along? I... No. Sorry about that, Eddie. That's okay. Some people don't believe in you. Well, those people suck. Hi. They're mostly gas station attendants.
Starting point is 01:02:44 Fair enough. Let's play gas station attendants. Fair enough. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Stanton. Todd, this is a game we've played before where we get the name of an actor or actress and we take turns naming movies that person was in. I like to play along because I don't know what the name is going to be.
Starting point is 01:03:10 And if you can't think of one, you're out. But you have a lifeline. Todd, who are you playing on behalf of today? Oh. Brett. Brett. Brett out. Brett.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Oh, and he's my lifeline? He's your lifeline. Cool. He's your... He's your teammate. Great. For the entire game. Just to give you a chance.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Don't let me down. Dan and Kevin are strong competitors. I'm sure they don't mind. So, Brett... Nope. Brett, could you come up here? Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Let's hear it for him. He's got a disease, but he's still trying hard. Please, folks. So brave. Yeah, when I said, could you come up here, I meant, could you figure out how to? He is great at mazes. There you go.
Starting point is 01:04:08 Yeah, go through that door around that corner up here. Thanks for coming up on stage. Where does he go? Brett's going to stand right behind you or next to you. He's going to whisper in your ear like Jiminy Cricket. How you doing? With tremendous advice to get you through this game. Hand him the mic for a second there, Todd.
Starting point is 01:04:23 Hey, Brett. How you doing? Excellent. Where are you from? San Diego. San Diego which part yeah I thought so what do you do there what's your job I work in hotels. Motels? Hotels. Okay. Yeah, exactly. I did want to do that. Holiday Inn. All right.
Starting point is 01:04:50 So, but thanks for being here. Thanks for being selected. Thanks for helping Todd. Just whisper in his ear as his turns come up, and hopefully you guys will prevail. I'll do my best. I won't ask you unless I need it. My money's still on Kevin. But hotel people do watch a lot of movies.
Starting point is 01:05:14 It's free. They also know the movies you watch. Yeah. Where is... Where is Bredicus130? God damn it. He's behind Todd. We're the listeners at home.
Starting point is 01:05:35 We have taken a hard turn in the plot here. This happens... Strangely, it happens a lot. People that end up on stage or whose name tags are on stage are also the ones that I end up picking for suggesting a name for Last Man Standing. So I think this is going to give Todd and Brent an extra level of advantage that I'm excited about.
Starting point is 01:05:59 I really want Tom to go home. Tom, Todd, to go home with the trophy. He goes home with it. Because also Brent is going to actually win. Tom. Todd. To go home with the trophy. So... He goes home with it. Because also Brett is going to actually win the prizes. If he pulls this off. So... So pass the mic
Starting point is 01:06:18 to Brett. Todd. And Brett, tell us the name of the actor or actress that we're going to play today that will give you an extreme advantage. I'm suddenly feeling really on the spot. Because you didn't have a name in mind? You wrote to me on Twitter. Say your name, bro.
Starting point is 01:06:34 So say that name, or was it a name you thought that'll be tough for you? No, no, but it's just I'm suddenly here under the lights. Oh, my God, the lights change everything. I can't believe I'm suddenly here under the lights Oh my god the lights change everything I can't believe I'm still conscious I'll make this quick Did your name you throw out Isn't the one you want to do Because it's hard
Starting point is 01:06:56 That'll be a fun one no one knows No but I'm just saying What was your suggestion going to be You had one in mind Steve Buscemi That's what you wanted to say And now you kind of want to pull it back What was your suggestion going to be? You had one in mind. Steve Buscemi. That's what you wanted to say. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:08 And now you kind of want to pull it back because you feel like you and Todd aren't going to know a lot of Steve Buscemi. I'm just saying things are looking a little different. I think he was bullshitting about being nervous under the lights. He was trying to stall. Oh, I'm so nervous. I like Steve Buscemi not only as an actor and a person
Starting point is 01:07:30 but as a subject for this game. I think it's going to be exciting. Daniel and Kevin still have their lifelines. Sure. Yeah. And who did I say is going to start us off? Who won that last thing? Kevin. Kevin. Okay last thing? Kevin.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Kevin. Okay. Right? Yeah. You did. All right. So you're going to go first. Steve Buscemi. Steve Buscemi.
Starting point is 01:07:51 Then we'll go Todd, Dan, then me. The films of Buscemi. Big Lebowski. Shut the fuck up, Donnie. Todd and Brett. Todd needs help already. Go ahead, help. He goes, go ahead.
Starting point is 01:08:16 He's trying to play it on me. Do you know any? If I know what I'd say right away. He's trying to let you fly and be free, Todd, but you've got nothing. I'm sure I know a movie he's been in, but not off the top of my head. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're going to be like, oh, yeah, that guy and that thing. Yeah, anything?
Starting point is 01:08:30 Absolutely. Like in Big Lebowski. I just did try. I don't mean to yell at you. I'm such a nice guy, then I yell at you because you're not listening. But he has to tell you. Thank you very much. You know what?
Starting point is 01:08:40 Actually, forget it. I don't need your help. Oh, you thought of one? I thought of one. I'm thinking, what am I listening to this fucking guy for? Big Daddy. Yes, Big Daddy. Thank you. much. You know what? Actually, forget it. I don't need your help. Oh, you thought of one? I thought of one. I'm thinking, what am I listening to this fucking guy for? Big Daddy. Yes, Big Daddy. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:08:48 Jesus Christ. Yes, very good. Daniel? Fargo. Fargo, yes. Wood Chipper. Mm-hmm. I'm going to say...
Starting point is 01:09:00 Wood Chipper. I'm gonna go With I was just watching it On Stars In my hotel room Grown Ups Yeah Steve Buscemi Ends up in a cast that makes him do this
Starting point is 01:09:20 Pose for the latter part of the movie Yeah Grown Ups Kevin Mr. Deeds this pose for the latter part of the movie. Yeah. Grownups. Kevin. Oh. Mr. Deeds. He's got silly eyes in that. I got one.
Starting point is 01:09:33 He does have silly eyes. Todd has another one. You don't need Brett yet? No, in the last one he did help me, but on this one, I hope I say it right. Oh, shit. Is it Billy Madison? Yeah. He was in Billy Madison. Yeah, okay. Wasn't he? He was the guy who...
Starting point is 01:09:47 I think so, sure. He was crossing out the name of the person who was going to... He's got silly eyes. Yeah, I mean, we've established he's in Adam Sandler movies. He doesn't have to be in... Is he in everyone? No, that's part of the fun. That's why it was still good that I guessed.
Starting point is 01:10:01 You did guess good. Dan. Conair guess good. Dan. Con Air. Watch your mouth. Funniest pedophile in the history of cinema. So good. So good. That was weird.
Starting point is 01:10:19 I'm going to go Mr. Pink, Reservoir Dogs. Yeah, you guys are all finished. Kevin? I'll go to Nicole. Use the lifeline early. I like it. It's a good strategy to use your lifeline early. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:37 What do you got, Nicole? He was in Transformers the last night, she says. The last night. Last night, sorry. Sure. Can't believe says. The last night. Last night, sorry. Sure. Can't believe it. He totally was. It sounds legit to me.
Starting point is 01:10:51 Me too. I'm going to take it. We'll talk to the corrections department on Monday. But I feel good about it. I feel that Kevin deserves to advance. Thank you, Nicole. Todd? Well, I don't know
Starting point is 01:11:06 if he was in this Adam... Grumpy Holiday? Wait. Wait, what's happening? Are you answering without consulting with Brett? I knew that wasn't...
Starting point is 01:11:16 You should run this shit by Brett. Because it's... Brett's life is on the line. I wanted to see if anyone would be like, oh, it sounds like a movie.
Starting point is 01:11:26 I wish they both died, but Matthau and Fogg. Matthau and Lemon in Grumpy Holiday. I'd watch that. You're going with Pulp Fiction for Buscemi? Yeah, final answer. Who does he play in that, Todd? Oh, come on. Everybody knows.
Starting point is 01:11:45 If you had to guess though. Please I'm trying to think of it. Buddy Holiday I think if I remember. God stop whispering. He plays a guy dressed up as Buddy Holly in Jackrabbit Slims. I think that's what it's called.
Starting point is 01:12:01 Are you telling me? There's nothing on the line right now. We're just talking. Oh, okay. But Buddy Holiday... Do you know what they call a Big Mac in France? No. You don't?
Starting point is 01:12:16 Big Mac, I think. No. Oh, no, double. I remember it from the movie, but I don't remember. No, maybe it's a Whopper. It's a Royale with cheese. Royale with cheese. cheese oh it sounds fancier doesn't it whose turn is it mine what do you got dan the wedding singer no thanks to you pop
Starting point is 01:12:38 wedding singer that's good oh here's a film that he was in and directed, but I'm not going to give myself an extra point. Trees Lounge. Ooh. One person applauding back there because they are a drunk person that likes movies about drunk people. Kevin.
Starting point is 01:13:04 How about Grown Ups 2? Was he? Did he break his silly arms again? I don't know. I'm not positive he's in. Is he in Grown Ups 2? I think he broke his legs. They say he is.
Starting point is 01:13:16 That's enough. He broke his legs and he was stuck like this. Oh, he broke his legs as well. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. And he was stuck in a V-leg. Yeah, they've got to humiliate him further. I get a question and I have a question and an answer. Oh, he broke his legs as well. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. And he was stuck in a V-leg. Yeah, they've got to humiliate him further.
Starting point is 01:13:25 I've got a question and an answer. Oh, terrific. Was there a Grown Ups 3? What? Was there a Grown Ups 3? No. There's going to be. Okay, he's in that.
Starting point is 01:13:37 I can't. He's going to be in a head cast? What more can they do? I'm going to be just accepted as I'm right, and then if it's wrong, I'll give whatever I get back. No, you've got to give us a movie that has that's already happened Jesus Christ
Starting point is 01:13:51 Brett's helping you out he keeps asking me he goes you think I can hang out with Doug after the show and I'm trying to the death of Stalin I think
Starting point is 01:14:00 yeah the death of Stalin the death of Stalin good job yeah Dan Sueta what do you got Yeah, Death is Tallin. Good job. Dan? Sueta, what do you got? Nice call. Armageddon.
Starting point is 01:14:12 Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon.
Starting point is 01:14:13 Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon. Armageddon.
Starting point is 01:14:13 Armageddon. Armageddon. The other hilarious movie where he played a child molester. I don't even know her. Oh, I just thought of one. Ghost World. Ghost World. Kevin? Ghost World. Ghost World. Kevin?
Starting point is 01:14:30 Oh. Is he in Jackie Brown? Why? What? Tarantino? Do you already use your lifeline? I already did. All right.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Then I'm sorry to say that you're out. Oh, man. He's not in Jackie B. Right? Yeah. I have this weird mental block with Steve Buscemi where he's always just Nucky Thompson. I can't think of anything but Boardwalk Empire. Right.
Starting point is 01:14:59 And Boardwalk Empire doesn't count as a movie. I know. It's a TV series. Yeah. But great job getting this far. Thank you. Yeah. Todd.
Starting point is 01:15:10 Oh, wait. Let's have some applause for Kevin. I came in last. Yes. Have a great San Diego Thanksgiving. Oh, I will. Yeah, right. You got peeps here watching you today?
Starting point is 01:15:25 I do. My Nana is here. Your Nana? She is, yeah. Where is she? Raise your hand. She's a pretty cool Nana. Stand up on your chair.
Starting point is 01:15:36 She's all right. She's all right. Throw a jewel, throw a diamond off the end of the ship. Aww. Throw a diamond off the end of the ship. Aw. She sold me weed before the show. She has really good weed. Okay, so it's Todd's turn.
Starting point is 01:16:03 Okay, so it's Todd's turn. Okay, so... I know you said that, but I'm going to try to guess on my own. Miller's Crossing. Oh, yes. I just thought of that one. That's a good one. Yes. Dan.
Starting point is 01:16:26 Waterboy? Is he in that one? I don't know That was Rob Schneider Did you use your lifeline already? No I haven't I also brought a gift certificate for the prize bag What? Yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:16:38 Tell us about it Well it's a place I love here I guess I could give it somewhere else But they wouldn't be able to use it there It's Cornop I love that place so much I want other people to love it too It's actually catacorn You want to take I could give it somewhere else, but they wouldn't be able to use it there. It's Corn Op. I love that place so much. I want other people to love it, too. It's actually Ketter Corner.
Starting point is 01:16:46 You want to take a... Just don't look twice at the Double Deuce. I heard they have good food there. They do have good food there. You could take a scooter. You could take a lime or a bird or a... Wind? Razor.
Starting point is 01:16:58 Or a wind. Caddy Corner. Yeah, they make cars now, too. They put it in just for... Oh. Wait, what was your guess? It was Waterboy. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 01:17:12 You need to go to your lifeline, I think. Okay. Suetta, tell me out here. I don't remember him being in Lifeline. She says Armageddon. She does, does she? Yes. Does she also say Con Air?
Starting point is 01:17:25 Yeah. Yes, she also say Con Air? Yeah. Yes, she does say Con Air. She's naming movies we've already said. Does she really have nothing else for you besides Armageddon? What is it? Big Fish. He's in Big Fish? I'm going to say that he is.
Starting point is 01:17:42 I love it. I'll go with it. Yeah, he plays the Big Fish. Oh, okay. With the silly eyes. I love it. I'll go with it. He plays the big fish. Oh, okay. With the silly eyes. Buscemi. Buscemi and big fish.
Starting point is 01:17:54 Well, I'm going to go obscure on you guys, and you're going to maybe not believe me, but he was in an indie about making a movie called, he was the director, and it's called Living in Oblivion. No kidding. Yeah, it's true. It's a deep cut from Mr. Benson. It's true. I Oblivion. No kidding. Yeah, it's true. It's a deep cut from Mr. Benson. It's true. I didn't make that up Graham Elwood style. If I did, Leif Garrett would be in it.
Starting point is 01:18:15 Todd, what do you and Brett got? Okay. I'm going to lose. Can I use my lifeline? Yes, the guy standing behind you. I know. What? Barton Fink.
Starting point is 01:18:31 Oh, very good. Yes. I thought that was a good one. Yeah. That was excellent. Barton Fink. Sounds like a guy who's not too smart. Fink.
Starting point is 01:18:43 Barton what? Fink. Barton Fink. Fink. Remember Hugh what? Fink. Barton Fink. Fink. Remember Hugh Fink? Yeah, of course. Rest in peace. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:51 Oh, it's so sad. Nobody knows who he is, so they don't know that we're joking about him being dead. But the Sklar brothers, I just checked in. They're alive. Oh, thank God. I can't believe it. Yeah. Dan?
Starting point is 01:19:10 I mean, it's Buscemi. He's in everything. Just name a movie. Fifth Element. What? Fifth Element. He's not in that one. Damn it.
Starting point is 01:19:21 All right. Let me think of another one. Maybe. Oh. all right let me think of another one hmm maybe hmm oh was he in uncle uncle uncle uncle nicky no no there was who was nicky little nick, but he wasn't in that one. Yeah, I think he was. He was in Little Nicky. We have a hard yes. All right, but I got the name wrong. So Todd Glass is our winner. Whoa!
Starting point is 01:19:54 He did it all on his own. We're going to edit out every mention of some guy named Brett. But hey, Brett, you won the prize bag. Come get your prize bag. Congratulations. That was a journey. You won all that stuff, dude. On the back of your poster
Starting point is 01:20:14 it says shit, something, shit happened. A shithead, yeah. He doesn't get to read it now, but Brett, do you want your poster back, too? It's right there. Holy shit. Great job, Brett. Hey, Brett, can you want your poster back, too? Look. It's right there. Mine? Holy shit. Great job, Brett. Hey, Brett, can I have that poster?
Starting point is 01:20:31 That was some real puppet mastery right there, I got to say. Let's do some plugs. Dan Van Kirk, what do you got coming up, dude? I just wrapped up the second leg of my tour. It was so great. I was here like a week and a half ago. Thank you for everybody who came out. New dates will be announced soon, so I have three more legs of that tour coming up, so I'll let you for everybody who came out. New dates will be announced soon.
Starting point is 01:20:48 So I have three more legs of that tour coming up. So I'll let you guys know all those details. Go to DanielVanKirk.com to check all that stuff out. And like I said, on December 10th, I will be doing a live Dumb People Town with the also alive Sklar Brothers at the Largo Theater. Will Forte is our guest as the 100th episode of Dumb People Town. And then for Sketch Fest
Starting point is 01:21:03 on Friday, January 11th at 10.30, we are doing a live Dumb People Town. And then for Sketch Fest on Friday, January 11th at 10.30, we are doing a live Dumb People Town and a stand-up show before that with the Sklar brothers and myself. That's awesome. Yeah. I recommend to people, what day is your Largo show? It is a Monday.
Starting point is 01:21:20 December 10th? Yes. All right. I'm going to be there December 2nd and 3rd. Nice. So come to one of those shows, you guys, and hide in the restrooms. Yeah. Until December 10th.
Starting point is 01:21:32 And then check out Dan for free. Thanks for being here, Dan. Todd, what do you got coming up? So not really until after the new year. I got helium coming up in Philly in January. And then the Helium in St. Louis. Is that where they have the Arches? And then the Comedy Attic.
Starting point is 01:21:56 I don't know. I forgot all my dates. But they're on my website. And there was three of them. And the Comedy Attic in Bloomington. If you're listening out there, best club in the world. Just go to ToddGlass.com. Yeah, Comedy in the world. Just go to ToddGlass.com. Yeah, comedy at state.
Starting point is 01:22:07 Yeah, go to ToddGlass.com. And other than that, my Netflix special. Everything else has been okay. And this is the first time you've won on the show. Well, no, I had won once before, I think. Oh, really? I thought. Maybe I didn't.
Starting point is 01:22:20 I don't know. Probably I'm wrong if I kept in line. I'm pretty sure you did. That's crazy that I, I mean, all by myself. Yeah, it's amazing you did it. It still feels good to even win just like that. Like the time with the pumpkins. I spent, I'm not kidding you.
Starting point is 01:22:36 I was in second grade, second or third grade. I spent $85 guessing the pumpkins. So I guessed every single half a pound increment. And then even in between that, I had to fucking win that big pumpkin in the hallway. It was guessed every single half a pound increment and then even in between that, I had to fucking win that big pumpkin in the hallway. It was like a big pumpkin like this. I was stealing money from my dad's wallet just so I could...
Starting point is 01:22:52 I would go like a junkie. I would go in there every day, give me eight tickets. I would guess one pound, two pound, three pound. And I fucking won. They announced it over the PA system to the whole school. They're like, the winner of the pumpkin guess...
Starting point is 01:23:03 I was so fucking happy. Caw, caw! That story just pushed your next show back. By a few minutes. Alright, good night. Yeah. And Kevin Craft, what do you got coming up, dude? You can hear me on the Jason
Starting point is 01:23:23 Ellis Show on Sirius XM channel 103. It's weekdays, 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern, 5 to 8 p.m. Eastern. I'm so bad with fucking time math. Wait, it's 2 to 5 Pacific, 5 to 8 Eastern. And then California just voted to get out of daylight savings. I know, I'm so excited. So to get out of daylight savings. I know. I'm so excited. So six months out of the year, I'm going to be even more fucked up on time math.
Starting point is 01:23:49 So just go on 103. We have a six-hour block. You'll probably catch it. And then you can also follow me on Instagram. Wait, the time is going to stay the same. It's just going to not get dark so early. Well, no. Because the rest of the channel is still Daylight Savings Time.
Starting point is 01:24:07 Okay. So they're going to have different times. We have to. Well, they'll still, okay. Or maybe you're right. Maybe nothing changes. No, things will shift by an hour. You're right.
Starting point is 01:24:17 I hate time. As long as it. It's not on our side. Do not believe that song. All right. But thank you for being here. Is this thing his? What are you doing, Todd? Is that his?
Starting point is 01:24:29 You're giving the guy his name tag back? No, no, I thought he won all the posters. I'm sorry. I don't want that one. Who is that one? That was Suarez over here. Oh, but you took the thing off the back, right? You did.
Starting point is 01:24:44 Okay. By the way, I didn't throw it down in disrespect. I just put it right back where it was. Yeah, yeah, he didn't disrespect it at all. I looked like I was like... Who gets that? Jerry, what do you mean? Who gets that poster?
Starting point is 01:24:58 I mean, you could keep it if you wanted to. No, but isn't he supposed to get it? Well, he doesn't win Sueta's poster. Yeah. He did win... He did win. He did win a $25 gift certificate to coin up.
Starting point is 01:25:12 The person who did make the poster, Todd, can have it back if they want. But sometimes the guest gets excited. They're like, I want to keep that.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Do you want to keep it? Yeah, I would like to keep this. Is that okay? I should ask. No, you take it. I have too much stuff. No, ask if it's okay. I just saw a documentary on minimalism. I can't keep it. It's a cool poster. Are you
Starting point is 01:25:31 on it? Yeah, that's why I wanted it. I'll take a picture of it. Oh, that's a good idea. I'll just remember it. It's a lazy guy. You know what? Let me just remember it. Oh, yeah. I have a little bit of a boner. There you go. Whatever you do, just take up as much time as
Starting point is 01:25:48 possible with your process. I'm wrapping it up now, Todd. Are you ready for that? Okay. One more time for all of my guests, Dan Van Kirk, Todd Glass, and Kevin Kraft.
Starting point is 01:26:06 Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Songs about hot dogs. I'm very happy to announce that I'll be doing stand-up right here at the American Comedy Company during the holiday taint. That's on Wednesday night, December 26th at 8 o'clock. We'll see you then, Eddie.
Starting point is 01:26:30 You got it, buddy! And as always, I don't know which one to say first. Look at these. That one is very vulgar yeah say the vulgar one
Starting point is 01:26:47 second or first second end on a stinger which one's more likely to make the audience applaud right that's tough you think that one
Starting point is 01:26:58 yeah yeah that one Ivy Ann and then in quotes cunt bag Abbott is a shithead.
Starting point is 01:27:11 I mean, I've never even seen the word cunt bag, and I've never seen it in quotes. Like the person sees an alleged cunt bag. I'm glad all the sponsors in this episode were in the middle and not after all these cunt bags.
Starting point is 01:27:35 But I think this will get a round of applause. I really do in this day and age. My student loan is a shithead. Let's go! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Starting point is 01:27:48 Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.

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