Doug Loves Movies - Todd Glass, Trey Galyon and Kellan Hawley guest
Episode Date: February 19, 2018Live from the Comedy Works in Denver, Doug welcomes Todd Glass, Trey Galyon and Kellan Hawley to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at http...s://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug Hates Candy Rappers
Screaming in his city
Seems good, and he has a lot more hurdles in his feet
There's still enough fun that he won't see
The color of the wind Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is I Love Movies!
There's always gotta be one or two.
Coming to you once again from Comedy Works in downtown Denver, Colorado!
It's Sunday, February 18th, 2018 And I know you guys have amazing name tags
But let's go ahead and take a peek
I'm already in love with
I'm already a big fan of Lindsay Bird
Instead of Lady Bird
because you've got like a Tito's and Soda
and some donuts,
and you really went all out with the bribery there.
What's this I, Tonya?
Right, but the way you're holding it,
you can only see I-T-O-N.
As far as I know, you didn't do anything to the poster but that is you tony isn't it instead of tanya poor tanya when is she gonna
get a break she can't even be on her own poster i saw the toys one on the internet today what's
your name tom she changes to toms very nice i saw the geordie year old virgin today on the internet today. What's your name? Tom. Tom. So you changed it to Tom's. Very nice.
I saw the Geordie year old virgin
today on the internet.
And
Rachel of the Lost Ark.
And wow, there's just
too many to mention. I see a Wilson
volleyball back there.
Shady's home? Is that your name?
Shady? Shady's home
too.
Rhymes with daddy. Why couldn't I have figured that out?
She's all mad. I'm really grossed out by that poor girl who has a mustache now.
But I'm still into her in the story.
In the movie.
Alright, thank you guys. You can go ahead and put them down.
Incredible.
Yeah, I never have to worry about
the amount of name tags that show up here.
And then at my stand-up show yesterday,
there were lots of name tags too,
so thank you for that.
Doug plugs, next Saturday, February 21st,
Doug Loves Movies returns to the improv
in Tempe, Arizona at 4.20. New Orleans, Doug Loves Movies returns to the Improv in Tempe, Arizona at 4.20.
New Orleans, Doug Loves Movies returns
to Cafe Istanbul on Tuesday night, March 6th.
And Austin, Texas, I'm doing two Doug Loves Movies
and a Master Pancake Leprechaun
mockery interruption show
at South by Southwest this year.
Come by if you have a festival badge
and get in the standby line if you don't.
All of my dates are at douglovesmovies.com.
That's douglovesmovies.com.
Yeah!
Yeah, Denver.
Yeah, Denver.
Yeah, Denver.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Yeah, Denver. Yeah, Denver.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Doug Lo's Movies is going back to this same spot
on Mother's Day.
So tell your mothers to fuck off.
I've celebrated Mother's Day every day of your
every day of my
wait
I celebrate you every day mom
give me this afternoon
to go watch
stoner movie trivia
so yeah I hope to see you guys there thank you for for selling out stoner movie trivia.
So yeah,
I hope to see you guys there.
Thank you for selling out
both of the shows here
this weekend.
Now it's time
for tweet relief.
Tweets about movies.
A friend of the show,
Ivan Hernandez,
tweeted,
the shape of water
is about
how straight men are so tiresome that a lady would rather fuck a handsome fish.
I agree with you.
So far, it's funny, but I like the ending the best.
so far it's funny but I like the ending
the best
fuck a handsome fish
who appreciates
her taste in music
this has been
a tweet relief
fish fucker edition.
Alright, so as some of you may know already because you were here yesterday,
we had
a contest with
people from the audience who brought
cool name tags. Unfortunately, there were
so many name tags we couldn't get everybody up here,
but one gentleman prevailed,
and he's going to be appearing
with two of my favorite regular guests.
So let's get them out here right now.
Give it up, everybody,
for Kellen Hawley, Trey Gallione, and Todd Glass. I did want to say one thing Okay please Wow. Wow.
Duh. I did want to say one thing.
Okay, please.
By all means.
With the times that we're in right now,
I think we can all do this.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
See?
That was so dumb That was dumb
Isn't that funny how two people can think two things?
I thought fun
Meow, meow
Wolf, wolf, let's get along
Wolf, wolf?
Yes
You go from the sound one animal makes
to another, to an animal.
I saw, to be honest, I saw a ska band do it
and it looked so much fun.
So I didn't make it up.
I don't want to take credit for it.
I flipped the other way.
When they did it, I thought it's dumb, you know?
Then I wanted to like mock it.
Oh, you got that.
We'll have a hug line
after the show.
Hug everybody.
Whoever wants a hug.
Let's start
by introducing
each of the guests
individually
starting with
our big winner
from yesterday.
It's Kellen Hawley
everybody.
How's it going, dude?
Good, how are you?
How do you feel so far?
I'm good.
Good, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah, I'm good.
Yeah, you feeling good?
It feels natural to be up here?
Oh, yeah, definitely.
All right, cool.
You won yesterday. You had the Kellen of a Sacred Deer
Was your poster
And you
You got up here
And you won in a round
Of Morgan Freeman
Against a bunch of
Other white people
So no real competition there
But
But you still prevailed
And
Good for you
I say What do you do
for a living? What's that?
I was the last man anyways. Right?
What do you
do for a living besides not make sense
most of the time?
I'm a bartender. Bartender, okay.
Can you say where? The office
bar and grill in Casper, Wyoming.
Casper, Wyoming?
I was really hoping to get a local up here.
Could you please step down?
Come on, Doug.
Yeah, that guy from Florida.
Where are you at, Steven?
Don't.
Now we know.
Damn it.
See, I would have brought him right up here
if I thought people from other states were eligible.
So you have friends here or something?
You went all the way home yesterday?
I came for this.
But you stayed in a hotel or something?
No, I have a friend that lives here.
That's what I said.
Do you have friends here?
I was like, do you have friends here? No, I'm a friend that lives here. That's what I said. Do you have friends here? I was like, do you have friends here?
No, I'm here for this.
He's not really my friend.
He's a friend of the guy I came with.
Oh, okay.
Fair enough.
And do you have a Twitter handle?
No.
You don't have a Twitter account at all?
Nope.
Okay.
Because somebody wrote to me.
What?
That was my friend that I came with.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, he wrote to me on Twitter and he said to be
to be nice to you
which first of all
why wouldn't I be?
but then he said
but then he said
he concluded it
by saying that
you're a happy soul
thank you
which made me really
feel anger
and hatred.
I lash out at that sort of thing.
I want to punch him in the face right now.
No!
No.
Let's say hello.
To keep the violence from happening,
let's say hello to Trey Gallion!
Thank you.
How's it going, dude?
Pretty good.
I'm in Denver.
Yeah.
Denver, yeah.
But you, you know, you picked a warm day.
Yeah, I'm lucky like that.
This is like a super, I mean, it's a little windy out there, so it's not as warm as they're saying it is on the weather forecast, but it's still probably the warmest day of the
winter here, right?
Yeah, it's like 70 today.
Yeah, so thank you for coming inside when you could be out enjoying your lives.
Hiking and stuff.
I appreciate that.
And they're saying there might be snow tomorrow, but then also that it's suddenly going to
be super cold.
Yeah, it's going to get a little chilly.
I brought long johns. We're good. I live in New York. I got this. All right. but then also that the suddenly gonna be super cold yeah it's gonna get a little chilly i brought
long johns we're good i live in new york i got this all right well i'm good because i'm gonna
get in a warm plane yeah you're getting the fuck out of here yeah but um
you like to snowboard though but you're going to make it out to the mountains this trip?
No, uh-uh.
No, you guys haven't gotten much snow,
and I'm not going to throw out that kind of cash for you.
I'm not going to do it, guys.
Yeah.
For two days?
Just slide down the mountain anyway.
Yeah.
Who cares if there's snow, man?
You never heard of summer skiing?
Whatever.
On a mountain bike, probably.
Well, thanks for coming out, dude.
I appreciate it.
Oh, you're welcome.
I just want to get the word out.
I don't know if a lot of my fans
or people that enjoy my comedy
are going to be on this cruise
in a few weeks,
the train cruise.
You know, the band Train
has a cruise.
It's not a half weeks, the train cruise. You know, the band Train has a cruise. It's not a...
It's not a
half train, half boat situation.
That would be awesome.
It's not a training cruise. It's not people learning
how to cruise.
It's a straight up train cruise.
And I'm a comedian on it.
And Trey's going to be my opening act.
But they haven't announced it yet.
So I'm announcing it now.
So if anybody listens.
I'll host for free.
No, you can't.
I'm going to take so many drugs on that cruise.
Now, Trey, I didn't bring it up for you to say that sort of thing.
I'll play it straight, man.
Alright, cool.
So,
if you are within
my earshot, within earshot, and you
are going on that cruise, because no one here is going on a cruise,
are they? I didn't think so.
Fuck no.
Fuck, you kidding me? Did you see those two cruises that broke down? I'm not taking that kind of risk. It's happened twice. Millions of cruises
happened twice. No way. I'm not winning no reverse lotto.
And let's say hello to Todd Glass. Yes!
You don't know how much I needed that.
Bark, bark, bark, kitty, kitty.
Bark, bark, kitty, kitty, let's get along.
Bark, bark, kitty, kitty, let's get along.
See, that's better.
That's better, you're right.
Bark, bark, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Yeah, I see now.
Yeah.
No, it makes sense now.
I'm doing good, Doug.
I got here two days early to ski.
I love it here, skiing.
It's great.
I didn't ski.
Such a suck-up.
You Southern California suck-up.
But you do have a good time here.
How do you feel about the altitude?
Do you have trouble breathing?
Do you get extra drunk when you drink?
Tell us about it, Todd.
Well, Doug, the funny thing is...
No, I know it's real because I never remember it.
It's like I'm looking for it to happen.
And then people go, it's in your head.
No, because I forget it every time.
I'm like, what the fuck?
I just like bent down to pick up a, you know,
I couldn't think of anything I would pick up.
Got in the way of that bit.
I was going to tell you the truth.
I swear to God, I was going to say a penny.
There was a $500 bill on the ground.
And I got winded.
I was going to say a penny, but it looks like I'm not doing too well.
Oh, he stops and picks up his pennies.
I mean, no offense, but I'm at the point in my career
where if I drop a nickel,
I keep walking.
So I'm here for that.
That's what I'm here for.
I tried to put a bell in that story.
I'll stop if I drop a dime bag.
Well, thank you to all three of you for being here.
It's going to be...
Can I get one of those donuts?
You're welcome.
Sure.
I mean, somebody put a box of Dunkin' Donuts on the stage.
Wow.
Can you grab one?
Now I know how my dog feels.
I was staring at that for like 20 minutes.
I was like, oh, I'm going to be so much...
Sit, Todd.
Sit.
Sit.
Wow.
Is there a chocolate in there? I'll have three. Rippin', Rippin'. So you're really just going to sit there and chocolate in there?
I'll have three
So you're really just going to sit there and eat a donut?
What is that, bad?
No, I'm just asking if
I'm asking if it's real
What's happening?
How's it taste?
It's delicious
It's everything you thought it would be
It's 98. It's everything you thought it would be. It's 98% gluten.
Good.
My parents are in the gluten business. Wow.
Another weird thing about choking like that,
and that was real,
one second after I'm done,
I swear to God, my instinct's going to go, okay. I've never like choked on a piece of meat
And went I'm not going to finish this
You see people getting the Heimlich
And going right back to their seat all the time.
Let's talk prize bag, you guys.
All right.
Yeah, what do you got for us today, Trey?
I was in Philly doing shows.
Home of the world champion Philadelphia Eagles.
Yeah, suck it.
You guys got yours, all right?
Let us have ours.
What's up?
Do you think Big Lebowski hates the Eagles,
the team, as well as the band?
No, he loves them.
Fucking hate the Eagles, man.
What do you got for us? The United generic barf bag.
Yeah, I mean, you can clap, but United really needs to step up their game What do you got for us? The United generic barf bag. Yeah.
I mean, you can clap, but United really needs to step up their game in the barf bag department.
It's just the plain blue.
Okay, and then Creep Records in Philly, they gave me this grinder.
All right, now check it out, because I had to ask, because I sat there stoned for like five minutes going,
how the fuck does that work? Because it's just like an empty container with a lid but you pull that out
and some nice little death spikes yeah i told him i was like i would have figured that out by
accident somebody would have given it to me and it would have taken a month before i was like oh
holy that comes out so it's used it's used i used it uh yesterday so it works and then uh so
glad it's tested yeah some creep philly sunglasses let me see those yeah i like sunglasses they say
creeper oh and then this is the this one I even have in my own t-shirt collection
And I can't believe that they gave one of these up
But it's the Creep Records
Phillies t-shirt
And then a copy of my shitty album
The moronic The moronic.
The moronic, yeah.
You've given away.
I'm happy with like half of it, alright?
So there's that too.
And those are available to purchase after the show?
No, I got rid of all of them yesterday.
Wow.
Yeah. But you can't get it on iTunes rid of all of them yesterday. Wow. Yeah.
But you can't get it on iTunes and Spotify
and all that shit.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, do me a favor and consolidate everything.
I will.
Like you're getting on a plane
and you're only allowed one carry-on.
There we go.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
I have, in addition to these great sunglasses
that I'm contributing,
I have...
How did that just happen?
They were straight off
of my face, dude.
All right.
I, of course,
brought a
Douglas Movies T-shirt.
This one,
this fits all.
Coveted.
All the people
that fit in this shirt.
That's a handy feature.
Yeah.
What do you got for us, Kellen?
I have a Starbucks gift card and C-3PO socks.
That's all?
That's all.
You know what would be hilarious is if there was no money on this card.
I don't know how much money.
It's just the card.
Because you could just take them, right?
Then you hand it to them and then they put money on it?
I don't know, my dad did it to me.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to start trying to do that.
I'm going to try to get blank cards from places
and then put them in the bag
and send somebody on a fun wild goose chase.
Put them in an awkward situation automatically.
Yeah, like,
that's C-3PO would say,
this is fucking awkward.
Oh, my.
I brought,
this is kind of going to be sad
for a second, you guys,
but this is a great book.
Our friend Ralphie May,
who passed away,
his autobiography came out posthumously, and it's a great book our friend Ralphie May who passed away his
autobiography came out posthumously and it's called this might get a little
heavy a memoir and so somebody's gonna win that today
Todd of course was on last comic standing with Ralphie. That's right. Yeah, so we're all sad about that.
Never want to see anybody.
Yeah, you never want to see anybody.
Let's just stay inside,
and then you can't be sad if people die
if you never see anybody.
Agoraphobia is a beautiful thing sometimes.
Yeah, it really can be precious.
What do you got for us, Todd?
Well, Doug,
so I tried to make it like
thinking what somebody
who would smoke pot would like,
but then I realized
this isn't getting,
you know,
but then I thought
it's probably like
a lot of the same.
So I felt better
after I bought it already.
I'm like, no, it's all right.
So one of them is,
the first thing just is my CD.
And now,
Blake Wexler is a comedian,
and when I met him, he was 16,
and he just came up to me after a show, right?
He's like, hey, I'm a comedian.
Now, he's 26, and he saved 12 years
of my voicemail messages.
And we put them out on a CD.
It just says it, 12 years of voicemails
from Todd Glass to Blake Wexler.
I didn't think he really saved them.
No, he goes, I thought, no, he said he did, but he didn't. And one saved them. He always goes,
I thought, no, he said he did,
but he didn't.
And one day he goes,
I have them, and we listen.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Some of them are so short,
they're like,
but the beep to me makes them funny.
And we put the beep in
because we needed it.
It'd be like,
after drum one,
this is the only thing I say.
I go, what the fuck?
I go, this is worse than 9-11.
Boo-hoo-hoo!
But it's just for him.
So I gave you ten of them.
The person that gets this could sell them after the show.
I mean, you know. So there will be somebody
in the audience, whoever wins this gift bag,
that will have ten of these. He can keep one
and sell the other ten. I say 15 bucks
is fair.
And then there's
licorice, because you always need something. Licorice. And then just other licorice, because you always need something
licorice. And then just
other stuff. Coffee soda.
I thought, that's sort of cool.
That's going to taste like garbage.
I know.
I thought that after I bought it.
But then I just bought this
because it looked cool, and I thought, I bet there's somebody
that likes that.
Jelly beans, because once you eat the chocolate,
then you're like, I need something sweet, right?
And then you're like, I need chips.
Yeah, chocolate's not sweet enough.
And then the licorice.
So anyway, there's that.
Oh, and a Starbucks.
And then I thought, okay, one other thing.
Where did I put it?
These are spree.
Oh, there's a $30 gift card to Subway.
If you shouldn't like it, but you do.
That's their new slogan.
No, you don't.
You don't like it.
I hope that's another blank one.
How sad would you be if you went to both Starbucks and Subway
and got turned down both times?
Wouldn't be too upset about the Subway one.
All right, pass that stuff down, Todd.
How dare a trade take a stab at me like that?
It was more at Subway than you.
Subway is...
Although nothing from Philadelphia, Todd?
Do I have anything from Philadelphia?
Nothing.
I don't.
Oh, yes, I do.
I'm sorry.
There's a gift certificate in there
for $150 to have all the Philadelphia pretzels
you want delivered right to your house.
I got you fucking good.
You're so angry.
No, there's not.
And also for one lucky person
today in the audience, Christmas is going to come
early in the form.
I've used that.
That works really good.
Nobody's used this one.
This one hasn't been used.
All that stuff's going in the bag,
plus one more thing that I gotta
fucking arrange this shit so I can
show it to you guys.
Here, put these in
here.
There you go.
That's good.
You got a job.
Oh, so there's one less coffee soda in there now.
Okay, so down the street here, there's a place called the Incredible Art Gallery.
And it's got lots of super fun stuff like Disney and
Muppets and Star Wars
and you know
various artist recreations. Let's see what the note says
Hey Doug, this is a complimentary canvas
it's called Try It You Must
Oh I said it wrong
Try It You Must
and it's by a local
Denver artist who goes by the name Bucket
and he says please stop by the name Bucket.
And he says, please stop by the gallery soon.
Have a great show.
And this is so good. I assume it's on Yoda's planet that he hangs out on his swamp planet.
And it's him and Kermit the Frog sharing a dube.
I want that so bad.
Wow, that is fucking amazing.
Yeah, they're pointing out it is a long-standing rule
in this show
that if a guest wants
one of the prizes...
Fuck.
I mean, I already...
I already called dibs
on the coffee soda.
There's a cucumber 7-Up, too,
not to brag.
Now that's one of those that's too cool
to take away from somebody.
If I pick somebody's name tag
that's not a Star Wars fan,
then maybe I work out something with them
if I win.
What are the odds there's a person in this room
that doesn't like Star Wars or
The Muppets?
Right?
Fuck both of those!
I'm all about Star Trek and Labyrinth!
And that I'm going to win on top of it.
Fucking forget it.
Yeah, the smart money's on Kellen today,
but we'll see.
We'll see what happens.
Ian, can I get another Tito's and soda?
Don't worry, I'm doing the altitude math, you guys.
I got this.
Trey, Trey,
wolf, wolf.
Come at me like that.
What just happened?
Alright, I'm going to start with you,
Trey, with my simple question that I ask everybody.
All right.
I forgot about the question.
Yeah.
Sometimes there's two questions,
but probably just one today.
All right.
That's a fair cop.
I'm always editing and changing stuff on the fly
as we go long on the show.
Because I'm responsible.
This thing's got to be over by, I think,
midnight tonight.
We got a strict curfew.
All right, so,
Trey. Yeah. Oh, what is this?
Oh, thanks, Ian. I appreciate it, man.
We should get you
something to put it on so you don't have to reach
all the way to the ground every time. Or are you good
just holding it like that?
Yeah.
Yeah, Todd's not using his. Here we go.
Oh, right on. Thanks, Todd.
It's perfect.
It's awesome.
You're not drinking today, Todd?
No, I will.
Okay.
Yes, I'm not you know what I'm saying
I'm not
I'm open to it
if somebody bought me
I would have a drink
Jack and Coke
what would you like?
a Jack and Coke
alright
and maybe
some sort of stool
for him to put it on
no I don't need it
I'm fine
I'm fine
you know me
I don't want to be a burden
Trey, what was the last
The last movie you saw?
Oh, that wasn't the question I was expecting
Oh, check this out
I saw Chopper
Yeah, with Eric Bana
It's about one of those Australian outlaw dudes
that killed a bunch of people,
but they made him a hero
because it's a bunch of convicts
on that fucking island anyway.
That might be one of the best movies
I've never seen, actually.
Dude, it's really good.
Because I have not seen that,
and I always hear good things.
Yeah, it's really good.
It launched Eric Bana.
I hear he acts different in it
than he has ever acted.
Well, because I didn't know this.
He's like a hooligan, right?
Right, yeah, totally.
And he shanks a dude in jail, and then he gets shanked.
I don't want to spoil shit.
What?
Why are you telling us shank for shank?
There's a lot of really good scenes in it.
It's really good.
But I didn't know this and was talking to one of your australian fans online and okay
that's a catfish situation oh totally oh yeah you should see the pictures it's a total catfish
situation yeah um but eric banna got his start on Australian TV.
That sounded like people are super psyched about Eric Bana's start on Australian TV.
Australian TV is that fucking good.
Oh, it's so good.
All the kangaroos and shit.
Yeah, for the listeners,
Todd just got his stool
and a rather tall drink.
Yes.
That is a jacket coke.
That's in the tent of waitstaff,
you know?
Tip them good.
Can I get a drink?
Boo-boo!
Like, boo-boo!
This is nothing.
I drink seven of these.
Altitude, man.
Altitude.
I'm telling you, slow and steady wins the race.
Watch your altitude.
That's my acting ability.
I think I drank too much.
Next.
Hey, Kellen, are you good
or do you get enough when you're tending bar?
I'm good, thank you.
No, I don't think you are.
I have to drive back to town
after this.
Goldschlager!
See, that's weird.
That was over the top.
I haven't heard anybody say the word Goldschlager in forever.
And then he yelled it out as a...
suggestion?
Or is it what he says every time he shits his pants?
Goldschlager! Goldschlager.
Goldschlager.
Oh, Goldschlager.
Is that a Bitcoin?
All right, Kellen, do they have movies in Casper, Wyoming?
Yes. You're not going to let me finish the Eric B movies in Casper, Wyoming? Yes.
You're not going to let me finish the Eric Bana thing?
Yeah, that was enough.
Sorry, Eric Bana.
From down under.
Was it good stuff?
No.
Okay, good.
I'm glad that my instincts were right.
Khaled, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw I, Tonya earlier today.
Today?
Yeah.
What facility?
Where'd you go to?
The one in Fort Collins.
AMC.
Okay, AMC in Fort Collins.
I'm not sure about that. And did you like that motion picture?
Yeah, it was very good.
There's a guy who has an I, Tonya poster. You didn't pick him.
We haven't picked yet.
I, Tonya.
That's a great reason.
Something to keep in mind when we get to that part.
If I remember to get to that part.
If I remember to get to that part.
I never got through a whole show without VD tags,
but we got into the games, and then somebody's like, Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Point of order.
Denver is fun.
Really is.
Mm-mm, mm-hmm.
This is one of the few places, Trey,
where I can pretty much be confident
that I could sell out a show on Mother's Day afternoon.
Because people have a real fuck you mom attitude.
Because people have a real fuck you mom attitude.
Or you just call her before the show, right?
If she's old enough, she'll be asleep by four anyway.
Are there any mothers here today?
There you go. All right.
Good for you guys.
They're really excited about it.
Is it fresh?
Do the children know your whereabouts?
Is this step one of deserting them?
Do you get a sitter, or do you have enough of them they can look at each other?
Did you hear that, Todd? I said look at each other.
I missed it.
Yeah, you were just sitting there thinking.
I was, I was.
I forget what even I was thinking about.
Oh.
You're trying to think about the question that's coming.
A movie, yes.
I was thinking about the movie.
That's a tough question.
I have an answer.
But just name whatever the last movie you saw was.
It could be on TV or something.
Okay, I did.
Because yesterday I realized,
I go, every time, I do see movies here and there,
but I can't remember them.
So last night, and look, I didn't choose it.
I don't even, you ever be afraid to say you like the movie?
Did you ever afraid to say you like the movie
because you're afraid maybe it's not a hit?
You should just say what you feel.
I get it analytically.
So this could be, you could be like,
no, I'll over-preface it.
I don't know. I have no idea.
Hang on, Todd. Hang on, Todd.
Todd, hang on just a second.
Trey, tell us more about Eric Bana.
That's what you get.
Funny thing about Bana.
Okay.
But so, Todd, so you're saying that you are worried
that your choice of movie to watch,
people judge you for it.
Yeah, just spit it out, dude.
I'm going to.
This doesn't help. You know, everybody, I'm going to preface it. I it. Just spit it out, dude. I'm going to. This doesn't help.
You know, everybody, I'm going to preface it.
I'm going to get it out.
But it was, I don't even know the name of it, but...
I know enough about it.
But it was, Robin Williams,
it was the best of times, it was the worst.
Best of times, worst of times?
Dead Poets Society. You got that off it that off sir no I'm kidding I said it
was the best at times of you know was the one where he wants to go really I
got this is football I got this ball yes yes first of all let's let's start early
with not yelling out titles right even though that wasn't an official game.
Dead Poets Society is a good guess because that sounded like poetry
but it was actually dickheads.
And also
Yes, I did say dick, thank you.
So it was a movie in all fairness. So it was a movie, in all fairness.
And it's a movie with Robin Williams and Kurt Russell.
Yes.
And it goes back to playing football.
Yeah.
And it's from the, I'd say, 80s.
It looked very old.
Yeah, early 80s, early 90s.
But has anyone seen it?
Applaud if you've seen it.
Yeah.
Was it good or not good?
Don't ask them questions, Todd.
I'm sorry.
Thank you. I thought so. Don't ask them questions, Tom. I'm sorry. Thank you.
I thought so.
Don't ask them questions.
You never told me that.
So I thought it was good, but then I fell asleep.
But I was intrigued.
No, I had nothing.
You ever watch a movie, you're like, this has nothing to do with the movie.
I'm just tired.
I was actually like, this is good, I think.
You know, I don't know why why I couldn't make up my mind
and I felt bad for him I really did I'm like fuck that must suck being in that
town reliving that he missed that fucking ball and I felt I think that's what I felt for
like every goddamn day he's like no nobody understood like he did I did. I did. Because I used to play badminton in high school.
It was the worst of times.
You are working some shit out, dude.
Are we supposed to grade the movies?
That's how off I am.
I give it a B plus.
This movie is great for napping.
Really puts you in a nice sleepy mode.
I don't know whose voice that's supposed to be.
But I do know another voice that I like to do
that jumps in and Bert Kreischer turns it off because I say, let the games begin!
Alright, we got lots of name tags to choose from.
Who's not a Star Wars fan?
Yeah, negotiations with Trey. Are you a Star Wars fan? Yeah, negotiations.
Are you a Star Wars fan?
Oh my God.
This is how money,
this is how Wayne Brady feels.
Every day, this is how Wayne Brady feels.
But they didn't bring this stuff.
Well, they did bring it.
That's crazy.
But look, there's one with your face on it
that says the Geordie, your old virgin.
You know what?
I feel like I'm just, this is so overwhelming.
Like, this is warmer than you can imagine.
Like, that's a good thing.
But I'm just going to,
I'm going to go with the 40-year-old virgin.
Okay, yeah.
Wow. Look at that. are you shitting me?
There's a lot of negotiating going on, a lot of,
Trey, walk around, Trey, go look in the back a little bit.
Yeah, let's I already
Everybody deserves a chance
This is the worst part
Thank you though
The gentleman won
Tony won the contribute to the prize bag
But they've already got way too much stuff to carry
Uh oh, Todd's on the move He's contribute to the prize bag, but they've already got way too much stuff to carry.
Uh-oh, Todd's on the move.
He's going to the donuts.
He's in the donuts.
Are you really going to eat another one?
Two? That's like a joke.
Two I consider a great night with self-control.
One time, can I tell a quick story?
Yeah, I guess so.
Everybody's not listening, but that's cool.
Well, they're doing what they're supposed to do.
I'll tell it for whoever hears it.
It's okay.
Bowling pin is back. How many Krispy Kreme donuts do you think?
I wanted to see how many I would enjoy.
Now, keep in mind, right out of the oven, Krispy Kreme.
So I wanted to see how many,
not before I could stuff myself,
but just like be full.
How many do you think I had?
No, I swear
I'm not lying. Three. Eleven.
And at
eleven I was like, I'm good.
That's a great story.
Alright, we did it.
Nobody got hurt.
Trey's going into the donuts.
Oh!
Threw it right into a light fixture or a speaker.
You gotta remember this.
You might be high, but the ceiling is low.
Yeah, low ceiling.
I don't usually say this after that part of the show,
but give yourselves a round of applause.
There's a lot of name tags,
a lot of attempted bartering,
but what did you come up with, Trey?
Who are you playing for?
I want to get a bigger bottle of tea.
I don't...
It is a very big bottle. It's a much bigger bottle than usual. Yeah, I don't... It is a very big bottle.
It's a much bigger bottle than usual.
Yeah, I'm not going to be able to fly home with that.
It's not an airplane size, yeah.
I Love You, Ryan Cooper.
Which, that's one of those movies that I really like.
It's just fucking adorable to me.
All right, look.
There, I said it.
All right, fine.
But he's got a couple of joints. It's Beth Cooper in the movie. Right. And he changed it to me. All right, look. There, I said it. All right, fine. But he's got a couple of joints.
It's Beth Cooper in the movie.
Right.
And he changed it to Ryan.
But he's got a couple of joints attached to it.
And a bottle of...
What size is that?
Is that a pint?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Okay.
But Tito...
Austin.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Oh, and though,
but the main reason was he said
if I won that he would let me have
the fucking Star Wars painting.
Yeah, that's what, no, I was talking about that up front.
Why, why, stop.
I must defend my friend Trey.
He did nothing wrong.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
Thank you.
It reminded us.
It's better than you thought it was, that little chant.
You're like, yeah, let's get along.
What the fuck?
I bet that's fun too.
I mean, it's growing on me for sure.
Thank you.
Well, I used it to help you.
I hope it grew on you.
Thank you.
I got to pee so bad right now.
Wait, what's that about?
I peed before I went up.
I was so smart.
Yeah.
It's all the drinking water here.
I didn't have to pee, but then I peed for like 20 minutes.
No, for real?
Yeah, what else are you going to be able to do?
All right.
Oh, yeah, I don't have to talk for a while.
Yeah.
That's what I say about you all the time.
It's perfect timing.
That's what I say about you all the time.
Kellen, who are you playing for?
The Matt Thumb Fred thread.
Matt Thumb Fred instead of Phantom Thread.
It has you as Leslie Manville.
Yeah, I got a nice dress on.
Are you a big fan of that movie?
Why'd you pick it?
I liked it
Yeah?
Yeah
Okay
All right
I usually like more of a personal reason
But that's cool
Oh, yeah
Sorry
I only answered part of that
That's actually my roommate's poster
So
He's gonna be a good lifeline!
I wish I had known that's what you were gonna say,
so I could have stopped you.
You can't just be that open about cheating.
But good luck to both of you. He's fine.
He was nervous coming out here,
and I think he's doing great, right?
I'm trying to fucking help you.
All right, what do you got there, Todd?
Somebody brought these Girl Scout cookies up.
Wow.
Oh, that's nice.
I always support the Girl Scouts,
and that'd ask anybody.
Trey, I'm so glad you were back for that funny line that I had.
That was great.
I mean, not as good as Doug's when I was leaving, but it was
good. You know what? You're right.
You're right. That got a cackle
out of me. That's like
not the laugh when I laugh. You know when you
can't release it? The only way to release it is to go
ahhh!
That's it.
I peed on the way to the bathroom.
It was
hilarious.
So I went, the Geordie year old virgin,
and also I thought, I'm very vain,
I thought, you know what, my picture looks okay,
I like the way I look.
I'm like, it put me in a good mood.
Is that what I look like?
I know I don't, but it's like,
maybe I do look like that.
So, I mean, you know, a little airbrushing,
a little this, a little that, what are you going to do?
A little yelling at the photographer, I said take the creases out of my face. But is it so bad that eventually, yeah, that's, I mean, hey, that's pretty much the same.
I look a little younger in person, but other than that.
Could have put a better shirt on me.
That's just the shirt the guy's wearing
in the original poster.
Oh, I didn't know that. Okay.
I get it now, Steve Carell.
I'm not an idiot.
Now I remember the...
You know, it's a very famous shirt.
We're all pulling it out.
All right, you guys.
You don't have to roll it up, Todd.
What do you do with it?
Just throw it down on the ground.
No, that looks, really?
You think they like that?
Someone to put their hard work into something?
You toss it over there like a piece of shit?
Yeah, you're right.
Crinkling it up is better. Ah!
Just here, Todd, pass it over to me
because you might want to bend down.
Oh, it's not going to win.
Oh, that's like so much work.
All right.
I got some games ready for you guys to play.
Awesome.
To determine who wins most of the prizes.
What's up with this? One might flip back to three.
Fingers crossed.
We're going to start with a game called
Live, Die, Repeat.
Do you know this one, Kellen?
Yep.
Todd, I'm going to say the title of a movie,
a movie that really exists,
and the first one of you that can repeat back
the entire title correctly is the winner.
Why are you sad by that, Todd?
Are you having a problem hearing words
and then repeating them?
Already I'm thinking I'm not going to do too good.
Do you want to have a Girl Scout cookie first?
And do you need a man to help you open that?
How dare you?
How dare you?
All the things you've done to me, this was never like this.
Hey Todd, did you know they call them thin mints
because it's a diet cookie?
You can eat a whole sleeve.
It's like celery.
You actually burn calories eating it.
That's true.
A cookie is one bite. Don't try any
shit.
All right. Stop.
Stop.
What is happening? What are you doing?
Anybody that eats a cookie is four bites.
Get the fuck out of here.
You're full of shit.
That's not the way you eat it when no one's around.
People love to hear Todd on podcasts.
So many spoken gems.
I forgot about that, I do.
For the people at home,
I was eating a cookie ridiculously slow.
What?
Oh, now Trey's got cookies.
I know.
Even better, she tossed me chocolate donuts.
You got some donut-ies.
It's like you know me.
All right, this is probably not the best game to play while you have a donut in your mouth. All right. It's like you know me.
Alright, this is probably not the best game to play while you have a donut in your mouth.
Alright.
Yeah, you gotta talk fast.
Calvin, shut up.
Okay, you ready?
You got...
Do you understand how this works, Todd?
Oh, yeah.
how this works, Todd?
Oh, yeah.
You can't cover his microphone like that, Trey.
Why not?
Because of unfairness.
And also, I can still hear him talk.
He's sitting right there.
Oh, my God.
I love Denver.
Alright, here we go.
This is going to be rough, you guys.
Trey!
You don't buzz in, you just say it.
Alright, I got it.
Just say it as soon as you think you know
what the whole title is.
Alright, here we go.
The Saga
of the Viking. the whole title is. Okay. All right, here we go. Yep. The Saga of
the Viking.
Did you not understand
any of those?
Did I say those words weirdly?
The Saga of the Viking?
Yes.
The Saga of the Viking Women
and their voyage. The Saga of the Viking women and their voyage...
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage...
To the waters of the...
This is a movie, you're not supposed to watch.
Yeah, man.
I watched it on YouPorn last night.
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the great sea.
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the dark sea.
What kind of sea?
Dark sea.
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the great sea.
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the great sea. The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the great sea.
Of the great sea.
Serpent.
Serpent.
What's the whole title?
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the great sea of the serpent.
to the great sea of the serpent.
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters
of the great sea serpent.
The saga of the Viking women
and their voyage to the saga of the great sea serpent.
That was me.
That was me.
Yeah, you said it wrong.
The saga of the Viking women
and their voyage to the waters of the great sea serpent. The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the great sea serpent
the saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the great sea serpent
that's amazing what he just did For me
Like I know for a lot of people
Like I got there quicker
I never got there
He got there way before I did
High and drunk motherfucker
High and drunk exactly
Exactly
Philly dog
You know what it's like
What the fuck
I was like I tried once
I was like no
I better just tap out
Yeah
Fly eagles fly
Fly eagles, bitches.
I knew that was going to get nothing in Denver.
Come on.
Don't be an ugly winner.
I went to Texas A&M,
home of Von Miller.
See, you won them back.
You won them back.
Four people cared about that.
You won you guys the Super Bowl, man.
Well, keep in mind,
Douglas Movies isn't necessarily a sports crowd.
You guys want to talk hockey then?
Damn, that got a pop.
Got a couple of boos though, also.
The jury's still out on hockey.
We don't know if we like it or not.
I heard trade tickets to hockey are expensive.
Is that true?
Yes.
Wow, everybody...
You guys just disagree about everything here.
For real.
They're like 60, 70 bucks here, yeah?
Who likes puppies?
Do it again, but some people boo.
Ready?
Who likes puppies?
That's it.
That's it.
That's the end of it.
All right, what are you looking at there, Todd?
Well, I think this comedy works as,
it said I add this to my basket,
so it's four tickets for a future show here.
Oh, that's terrific.
Into that gift bag.
All right, yeah, pass that down.
And I'm going to give $5 a dollar to the SPCA.
You know what?
I'll just be nice to a street dog.
Oh, thank you.
Yes, you didn't offer me any Thin Miz.
Oh, yes, I did. Matter of fact,
no. Matter of fact,
I didn't want to offer...
Matter of fact, I didn't want to offer you one.
I just wanted to give you a whole sleeve to take home with you.
Oh, thanks.
I feel bad. It makes me look like I'm trying to be...
You know I have low blood sugar.
All right, can we just get to the part where you're not eating anymore?
That feels so horrible to hear where you have a mouthful of donuts.
It's the last time I need people to be critical of my eating.
You can't even enjoy it.
I'm just having a hate donut.
All right, this next game is called ABCD's Nuts.
All right, so Trey's going to start us off, and this is how it works, Todd.
We're going to go person to person.
I'm going to give you a letter, and I'm going to say, name a movie that begins with that letter.
And you can name any movie that begins with that letter and stay in the game.
And we're going to spell out everyone's loving Black Panther this month and this month in general.
So we're going to spell Black History.
And so the first letter in Black History is B.
So Trey, just name any movie that begins with the letter B.
If you match the one I wrote down ahead of time, you automatically win.
And there might be a theme.
Black Panther.
Right?
Yeah.
Black Panther Right?
Yeah
Pretty smart guess on your part
But I went with Blackenstein
Yeah, what?
Another one I saw in YouPorn earlier
Alright, so the next letter is L for Kellen
Logan?
Oh, I love Logan.
That's a good answer.
I went with a movie
called Live and Let Die.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eat a dick, Kellen.
Wait, what did you...
Earlier today,
you told me you were
going to be nice.
Yeah, yeah.
What happened to that?
No, I'll be nice.
I like Kellen.
He's all right.
He's all right.
He's way better than that Kansas City kid.
She was actually like,
oh, I feel bad for the Kansas City kid.
He was nice.
Trey, Trey, quick update.
Nobody heard the Kansas City kid
because the episode was lost.
Oh.
So you're now referring to something
nobody knows anything about.
Man, all right.
But there was a kid in Kansas City and Trey was very mean to him.
She's still sad.
Todd, your letter is A.
Any movie that begins with A.
Oh, man. Okay, let me just check.
I mean, you can stick this one out, too.
If you give me 20, I can?
Yeah. Okay, hold it. A you give me 20 seconds, I can?
Yeah.
Okay hold on, A.
Every one I had won for it.
I was like, oh fuck, I hope I get the same letter, but then I realized you probably wouldn't.
I know they're in the tip of your tongue, I swear to God, I don't think it's...
Hold on, give me five seconds.
Just say a word at the beginning of the day, it's probably a movie like Animal...
Apple's Way, I don't Animal... Animal House. Okay.
Todd, I'm sorry,
but you've got to keep in mind
that the mic drop is for Times of Triumph.
Or Defeat.
And it's also called National Lampoonence Animal House, but that's cool.
Oh, fuck.
Austin Powers.
Full title.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, he's just going to keep getting himself into more trouble.
I thought it's an A or a U.
That's the way my mind thought.
Aids the movie.
What?
Yeah, you should have just said that.
I did it. Well, I went with Across 110th Street. Aids the movie. Ha! What? Yeah, you should have just said that. You were.
I did it.
All right.
Well, I went with Across 110th Street.
Oh, I was going to say that.
The next letter is C for Trey gets the letter C.
For me?
Trey.
Copland.
Copland, very good.
I went with coffee
Yeah, because why wouldn't you?
Black History Month
K is the next letter, Kellan
K for Kellan
But cops beat up black people
Not in that movie, Copland
It's all white on white crime in that movie Copland.
It's all white on white crime in that one.
Kellen, what do you got?
Kangaroo Jack.
Oh, that's a nice one.
Our friend Jerry O'Connell's in that.
I went with King of New York.
Now we're back to Utah and Todd. The letter's H. Um.
Ha, uh.
Ha, ha.
Ha, ha.
Hey.
Harry Met Sally.
Is that right? You're clapping, man.
Let me get, don't.
Todd, dude, Todd. What did I do wrong? Hey, slow down. Let me get... No. Todd, dude.
Todd.
What did I do wrong?
Hey, slow down.
Slow down.
Slow down.
You guys don't get to say whether answers are right or wrong.
That's on me.
And then you'll get to hear
some fun comedy, too,
if you're not all screaming.
Now, let me ask Todd
a quick question.
When did Harry meet Sally?
Hanukkah time
No I don't know
I don't know
It's uh
When?
When Harry met Sally
Yes!
Oh okay
Does that count as an H though?
No
Oh then what's the matter
How I fucking say it?
I have to go through
All those speech classes
and still be wrong?
Oh, shit.
All right.
Isn't there Harry and the Hendersons,
or is that a sin?
Yeah!
You did it. You did it. All right.
What's the matter, Trey?
I'm trying to win the fucking Yoda picture Wait, wait, so
So you're concerned that Todd's gonna have a big comeback
And win this thing?
Yeah, have you seen me?
I went with a movie called Hell Up in Harlem.
Yeah.
Now, Trey, I'm going to warn you before I say this next letter.
Yeah, I don't even remember what letter we're on.
I could not.
I'll tell you.
Okay.
I couldn't think of a blaxploitation movie that begins with the letter I.
So it's up for anything at this point. Trey, I. So you're, it's up for anything
at this point.
Trey,
I.
I, Robot.
Yeah, very good.
Todd knows the movie
begins with I.
Indiana Jones.
The,
the Indiana Jones.
The Indiana Jones.
Indiana Jones Part 2.
The sequel to Indiana, the sequel of Indiana Jones Part 2. The sequel to Indiana...
The sequel of Indiana Jones Part 2.
Epic comeback.
20 years later.
What did I do wrong there?
No, seriously.
I have no idea.
I'm not even trying to...
What did I...
What happened?
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you.
Don't talk to them.
That guy's right.
It's when, Indiana Jones.
I know.
I know, but you know a movie
that begins with the letter I.
Yeah, didn't I text you? Yeah. I thought it was that. Oh no, but you know a movie begins with the letter I. Yeah, didn't I text you?
Yeah.
I thought it was that.
Oh no, Inception.
Just in case Todd ended up landing on the letter I,
I wanted to implant a title in his head ahead of time.
That's what I said.
Three days.
So I texted him a few days ago,
can you name a movie that begins with the letter I?
And then he writes back, any movie?
And he, you know, this is over several days.
Then we write back and forth.
And then he finally just wrote to me,
I just got a text that just said Inception.
And I was so happy.
And I hope the I would have been his letter
and that he still wouldn't say Inception.
And that's pretty much, that's kind of what happened.
He actually texted me and said,
come up with,
the way I read it,
come up with a movie,
any movie that started with the letter L.
So I go, L, I'm thinking for a day, L.
And then he texts back out of nowhere,
and by the way,
not L, I.
I'm like, oh, fuck.
Yeah, because the letter I in a text, the letter I in a text looks like a lowercase L. I. I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, because the letter I in a text looks like a lowercase L.
Exactly.
To me, it did.
But what movies start with a lowercase L?
You're the one that said it, not me.
I was fine.
I understood.
I hope no one remembers the part where I did.
So I did, but Inception...
Actually, a friend helped me with that.
Oh, did they?
Yeah.
That's cool.
Trey.
And not surprising...
Let me see those for a second.
Yeah.
No, I was gonna throw it.
I knew it.
Yeah.
I mean, you should have seen this guy.
Just like, over here.
It was very...
I mean, I was like, I'm gonna throw it.
I'm gonna throw it.
I'm gonna throw it.
I'm gonna throw it. I'm gonna throw it. I'm gonna throw it. I'm gonna throw it. I'm, you should have seen this guy.
Just like, over here.
It was very, it was hard to-
But he's passing.
I'm passing them around.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
This is great, it'll be even funnier if they're poison.
Some people eat anything.
I don't trust those fucking Girl Scouts.
It's true.
All right, so we're on Kellen.
And, uh, wait.
Who did I? You did I?
Yeah, you did I, Robot. Yeah, yeah.
So we're on Kellenett in the letter is S.
Selma?
Selma's a great guess.
I went with Shaft in Africa.
Now, this is a really easy letter, Todd,
because the letter T,
so many movies begin with the word the, so, you know, like,
the Indiana Jones
the vacation
I'm kidding
really?
that laugh showed that you thought I was serious
after crowd's like be gentle I think you might not be doing a bit
alright
it begins with a the
or a T It begins with a the.
Or a T.
It's harder than you think.
I bet there's 20 people in this audience going,
I can't think of it either.
But they never, you know, they never,
I should give them like a flag they hold up so I feel better.
20 people.
Raise your hand if you can't think of the movie
that begins with the letter T.
See, Todd, you're the only one.
All right, I have a...
Titanic.
Titanic.
Yeah!
Thank you.
So cheating.
Do you know what they were originally going to call that movie?
The Titanic.
The Titanic. The Titanic.
God damn it.
Now the audience is trying to race me to punchlines.
I love hamburgers.
For my T word, I would...
How about Doug Loves Hamburgers?
Would that be a big show?
Never mind.
I do, but that's just too niche.
For my letter T, I went with the black Gestapo.
Back to you, Trey.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh Trey. O.
O.
O.
O.
Yeah.
O.
What?
O.
Yeah.
O-H?
O.
The movie O.
That's what I wrote down. Yeah.
That's awesome. That's awesome.
Too sweet.
Too sweet.
You have to do that.
Too sweet.
Yeah, it's a whole thing, Todd.
Never mind. Never mind.
Yeah, it's a whole thing, Todd Never mind
Now the last two
I just couldn't
I couldn't find any more
Blaxploitation movies
So I went with
Rain Man and Yentl
Yentl, the complete opposite
Of Blaxploitation
I don't know if it's opposite
There's oppression in both.
Alright, that's fair.
Alright, so Trey is killing it today.
So close to getting that wonderful painting.
Look, I know.
Am I legally allowed to open that Tito's on stage?
I think you can just ask for more Tito's and they'll bring you one.
She's like,
yeah, you are.
Yeah, that's not a question
for the audience.
I think it's,
you know,
I feel like it's against the rules
to bring in your own bottle
and open it, but.
No, yeah,
I felt that way too.
Yeah.
That's why it would probably
be way better to be like,
hey, Ian,
can I have another Tito's
instead of.
Yeah, just ask for another one.
I mean,
if there's 14 minutes more to go,
I don't know how you'll possibly make it.
We got this, dude.
I want that fucking Yoda painting.
We might go long,
you guys. We might go...
I love Denver.
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!
Talk!
Talk!
Okay, so now you can't say that anymore
for the rest of the show.
And then they won't do that anymore.
I mean, I appreciate all the yelling out of things.
You know, it proves that you're here.
And engaged.
Did I get engaged all of a sudden?
I think you and Kellen are going to be very happy together.
So this is going to end so quickly,
my man.
I got a feeling you don't suck dick.
Not particularly.
Yeah.
Wow, amazing gaydar on you.
I have something I wanted to talk about.
Holy shit, Ian.
Thank you, Ian.
I'm sure we've all been to the Cherry Cricket.
They got great hamburgers.
I went by there today
and they gave me a gift card
for $25 to throw into my basket
as well as the other stuff.
So I'd like to pass that down to you.
I had to coerce them a little.
And I had a 2- zeros, so it says 250.
See if you can get away with it.
Why would you add two zeros and make it 250?
Because there was a dot and then I forgot a zero.
I was a daughter and then I forgot a zero. Yeah.
I'm so bad at math
that I jump on anybody that makes a mistake
in front of me.
Just to feel superior.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
Last Man Stanton. Stanton.
What's the matter, Trey?
I don't know.
Kellen did pretty good last night.
Yeah, I think you're
in trouble on this one.
A little bit.
I might have to punch him
in the fucking face for you.
I'm kidding.
You guys know I'm kidding.
Fuck you, Spike.
Thanks, man.
No.
Harsh with two zeros at the end.
We're gonna hug later.
Fuck you, man.
He is very nice to him backstage
if it helps put it into perspective.
Like, really nice.
I tried to kick him out of the green room.
I'm kidding.
Hug me, Frank. Oh, now that's a little much. That's a little much, sir. I'm kidding.
Oh, now that's a little much.
That's a little much, sir.
Now we're fighting.
You don't even get a fuck you back.
It feels a little... Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
Meow, meow, wolf, wolf, let's get along.
Thank you Fuck Trey, fuck Trey
Let's get along
Fuck Trey, fuck Trey
Let's get along
Fuck Trey, fuck Trey
Let's get along
Fly eagles fly Fly, Eagles, fly.
Okay, Rasta Jeff seems concerned.
Suburban electricity.
No, Rasta Jeff, it's all good.
I thought we were just supposed to get high and come here.
I didn't know there'd be a bunch of drunken fuck you people.
It's the altitude.
All right, so in order to play Last Man Stands
I need to get the name of an actor or actress
From a pre-selected audience member
I found somebody on Twitter
That said they have a good name
Who goes by
Darth Amol
Darth Amol
Darth A-M-O-L Alright, Amol? Darth Amol?
Darth A-M-O-L?
All right, Amol.
Great.
What do you do for a living, DA?
Software engineer.
Good for you.
Yeah, no shit I'm saying that
do I have to get
your mic turned off
no
alright what do you
got for us dude
what do you think
we should play today
Jackie Chan
what's that Jackie Chan us dude what do you think we should play today what's that
Jackie Channing Tatum movies.
That's all you got.
Wow, I think I do know one.
Oh, okay.
All right, well, don't blow it yet.
Don't blow it.
We want you to last in this game
for as long as possible, Todd,
because everybody loves you here.
You know, you bring the funny.
You don't bring the answers,
but you bring the funny. You don't bring the answers, but you bring the funny.
Where's our good friend Donkey Coma?
Hey, dude.
Donkey Coma? Donkey Coma is his Twitter name.
I talked to him about it once before.
There was a reason.
We don't have time for that now.
What do you think, Donkey Koma? Do you like these
names, Jackie Chan, Channing Tatum?
Well, since Todd's
playing for me, I would like to... Oh, Todd's
playing for you?
Oh, isn't that great how that worked out?
Yeah. Collusion!
I just learned that word, so I use it.
Even if I lose, I'll give you a hundred bucks how about that
it takes the pressure
I forgot my checkbook
but are you sitting over there
thinking what's the easiest name
imaginable so that Todd has a chance
cause that doesn't seem possible.
He's just not a movie trivia guy.
But I can try.
Yeah, you can.
You've been trying all day.
I did all right.
I came up with a lot of answers.
Yeah, you did.
Oh, son of a bitch.
I got a lot of answers. Yeah, you did.
Holy son of a bitch.
All right, so Donkey Kong, what do you suggest?
Sean Connery.
Sean Connery?
The movie that he was in?
Sean Connery, ah.
They pull a knife, you pull a gun.
I've said too much.
All right, so what was the order last time?
We'll start with Trey because he won the last game.
What do I do?
I've won all the games.
Yeah, you've won two?
Yeah.
Ridiculously simple games.
I know, man.
I'm just saying because of the Yoda thing.
All right, let's go.
You've got to win this game.
It's on now.
Oh, I'm familiar.
Yeah, and then...
Were we going to you next on the last game, Kellen?
Yes.
Okay, so we'll go to Todd second and then Kellen.
I'm going to sit it out in the interest of time
because we've got to wrap this up.
And you get three names
to choose from.
Do we have lifelines?
When it's your turn,
you have one lifeline.
That's your name tag.
Brian.
So each of you will last
at least one round.
Yeah.
Theoretically.
Yeah.
The three names are
Jackie Chan,
Ing Tatum,
and Sean Connery.
All right.
Any one of those three,
name a movie they're in,
you're still in.
But go to your lifeline if you need it.
Trey?
Rush Hour.
Yes.
Sean Connery hates traffic.
So he would never appear in such a thing.
Todd? So he would never appear in such a thing. Todd.
Channitane, whatever that name is.
Yeah, you know him. What's he in?
Totally believable.
La La Land?
I knew it wasn't him.
Why didn't I say that in my preface?
It wasn't him.
You know what we're going to do? Who was it? Ryan Gosling. Why didn't I say that in my preface? It wasn't him. It was somebody like...
You know what we're going to do?
Who was it?
Ryan Gosling.
Ryan Gosling.
Oh, shit.
Go to your...
And they're very unsimilar.
But go to your...
Oh, I got it.
Oh, you got one?
Because you could go to your lifeline.
Oh.
Well...
Go to your lifeline.
Okay, I'll do that.
Yeah.
Who is it? Donkey K Okay, I'll do that. Yeah, who is it?
Donkey comb, I didn't know. Alright, so what do I ask them? Donkey comb is gonna tell you an answer. Okay
Rush hour 2
You know what I like about that I could have actually thought of that myself
But I didn't but it's in the air either way with the rush hour 2 You know what I like about that? I could have actually thought of that myself,
but I didn't.
But it's in the air either way, I would think.
Rush hour two.
Great job, Ty.
See?
Oh, Trey.
Yeah, I'm still not worried.
Did I win?
No.
Not the whole thing, but that I won, right?
No, no, no.
You won a moment in time with the help of someone else
whose name tag you chose.
Kellen, go ahead and say it.
Shanghai Noon?
No.
I mean, yes, that's correct.
Oh, he's not out?
No, he's not out. But it was a very obvious answer, just sitting there waiting for somebody to say it. Your turn, though, that's correct. Oh, he's not out? No, he's not out.
But it was a very obvious answer,
just sitting there waiting for somebody to say it.
Your turn, though, Trey.
Rush Hour 3.
Yeah.
All right, Todd.
You don't have a lifeline anymore.
Oh, come on, Yoda. Do you know the name of the movie,
or can I just explain it?
I think that should count for me.
I mean, that's like,
you don't want to be too hard on me,
but not too soft either,
but I think it'd be like,
yeah, you should just be able to explain it.
I don't really think that.
But what, like, start talking about
what the movie is you're thinking of,
and then maybe the title will come into your mind,
because maybe it'd be like,
oh, it stars Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn
and she's like a bird
on the wire.
You know, that kind of thing.
No, because of the
running joke tonight,
I, you know,
if I mention it,
it's the movie,
I don't remember
the name of the movie.
I didn't even see the movie.
But you know the movie.
Well, that's a surprise,
but go ahead.
The movie where
they were strippers.
Yeah!
The movie where they were strippers. Yeah! The movie where they were strippers.
Yeah, with, uh, who else?
Well, of course there were other people in it.
Let me ask you this, Todd.
Do you enjoy an M&M from time to time?
Yeah!
Yeah, I know that's a hint, but...
That doesn't help.
Well, I know it should, I get it.
Do you think they're magically delicious?
Oh, magic, magic Mike.
Yeah!
Sorry Donkey Koma But it's just not going to happen for you today
Alright Kelly
You draw a warm audience
This guy goes
Good job buddy
You know what I I took it.
I'm like, thank you.
Yeah, they're very nice when they're not saying fuck you
to somebody.
Okay, Kellen?
Dragon Heart.
Alright.
Alright.
It's a Sean Connery movie.
But go ahead, Trey.
I hate telling so much.
Go ahead.
Come on, it's there for the taking.
Just say it.
I put...
Just say it.
Rush Hour 4.
All right, go to your lifeline.
21 Jump Street. That's the name of your lifeline. 21 Jump Street.
That's the name of your lifeline?
Yeah.
All right, Todd, he just said
21 Jump Street.
Starring Channing Tatum.
21 Jump Street.
Just pass, dude. Pass.
No, he's still in the game.
Why should I pass?
Yeah, there's no reason to pass.
Because I got...
Wait, is that...
Leave me out if he passes.
Why are you repeating it?
I want to have things in context
so I can make right decisions.
Well, you know how earlier
somebody said rush hour
and I was like, rush hour.
Oh, it's law, Chick.
And then somebody said rush hour two.
Yeah, it's law.
It's law.
And then somebody else said rush hour feel like Brian Regan's big.
Moose in the mason.
Oh my God.
I forgot, put the thought instead of...
Just put thought in front of it.
There's no reason to dwell on it,
but he said a movie called 21 Jump Street.
Okay, why is that a big deal?
Just because a lot of times they,
you know, Hollywood doesn't have a lot of new ideas. Not the, not the, I don't mean... No, no, no. Hollywood doesn't have a lot of new ideas.
Not the, I don't mean...
No, no, no.
Hollywood doesn't have a lot of new ideas.
So sometimes they make a movie that's...
Yeah, so what's your answer?
Oh, what's the question?
The question is...
No, seriously, I heard all that.
Let's say you were making...
Let's say you were in charge
of making a follow-up to 21 Jump Street.
Oh, 22 Jump Street. I never won anything.
Still haven't.
I know.
I know.
I still have it.
I know.
You're like a guy in the Olympics stops and hugs the fans before running across the finish line.
Oh God.
All right, so we're back to Kellen
Magic Mike 2
Yeah Magic Mike 2 was out there as well
Yeah right
Boo boo Kellen
Fucking hack
Is there more words in the title?
Oh I don't even remember
Yeah whole title Kellen
Then I'm gonna switch to the rock'm going to switch to the wrong one.
Yeah, you can switch to the wrong one.
That's not fair.
It is fair when you're screaming full title
in his ear.
That's interesting, though. I thought it was just
Magic Mike 2, but we'll talk about it later.
I'm not going to
hand it to Trey.
No, no, hey, man.
The Untouchables.
Yep.
Todd?
Yes.
Okay, thank you for being here.
You did a great job.
Kellen?
The movie that begins with an O?
What's that?
The movie that begins with a U.
I'm really trying.
Is it a movie?
What movie?
I'll answer it.
We got to wrap it up. Oh, okay. I'll answer it. We gotta wrap it up.
Oh, okay. I'll pass.
Good strategy.
What?
It came to me.
Magic Mike 2 XXL.
Yeah.
Oh.
He's super cocky about it, but don't say.
Don't say. Don't say.
You gotta change your answer.
What's that?
Shanghai Nights.
Shanghai Nights, okay.
Come on, Trey, we gotta go.
Gold figure.
Okay.
Kellen?
The Legend of the Drunken Master Trey
Yes
Yeah that is wild that he would name a Jackie Chan movie
What a dick
Okay we gotta go
Highlander
Nice
The Last Knight
Yeah Trey you're in it Highlander. Nice. Love the last night.
Yeah, Trey, you're in it.
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.
Wait, what? Who's in that?
Sean Connery.
Nope.
At the end. Nope.
He's at the very end.
Oh, he shows up at the very end?
He does.
All right, all right, all right.
Thank you, Proud.
All right.
Yes, he is.
He fucking is!
Hit the fucking end!
I love Todd Klaus.
Karate Kid. Karate Kid he says.
Yeah, who's that?
Oh yeah, the new one.
Oh, that doesn't count.
What do you mean it doesn't count? Am I right?
That doesn't count.
It does count.
We gotta go.
We gotta go.
Oh, all right.
It's a speed round.
Go.
Oh, shit.
Five seconds.
What's the one where he...
Ten seconds.
What's the...
Man with the Golden Gun.
Yes.
No, no, no, no.
He's not in that one.
Oh, he's not?
No, it's...
What's his name?
Roger Moore.
Oh, are you serious?
No, I'm just joking around.
Octopussy.
Also Roger Moore.
And now...
Right, damn it.
And that's two strikes.
Oh, man, fuck.
Yeah, did you go to your lifeline ever?
Oh, no, I didn't.
Hey, Ryan.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Octopussy Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Octopussy 3.
Octopussy 3.
They should start doing that with James Bond movies.
Just put a number on some of the previous titles.
Kellen.
Rumble in the Bronx.
3. Just put a number on some of the previous titles. Kellen? Rumble in the Bronx. Three.
Master Two, I want to beat the fuck out of Kellen.
Kellen?
I mean, he was right with the first part of it.
He added some words.
It's your turn. okay okay yes it's a drunken master don't question it man he's trying to stall he's got this
It's really on you, dude.
Lifeline.
Lifeline.
Oh, yeah.
Lifeline.
Oh, yeah.
The medicine man.
You really never went to your lifeline yet?
Okay.
He says medicine man.
Yep.
Correct. Correct.
Trey?
Channing Tatum was in...
Three.
Two.
Last Day on Earth? What was the fucking... Three. Two. Last Day on Earth.
What was the fucking...
Close.
It's close, right?
Channing Tatum was in...
The Notebook?
Shit.
He wasn't in The Notebook. In the notebook? Shit.
He wasn't in the notebook.
Haha, Todd.
Fuck, I had to call up by Todd.
The notebook.
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Oh, damn it.
Kellan Holley, you're our winner!
Fuck. Hey
Trey Galleon
Do your plugs
And while you do that
Todd
You pass me the name tag
It should be on the floor there
I changed everything, you guys.
Twitter and Instagram is both at TreyGallion.
So that was easy.
And then my website is TreyGallion.com.
There you go.
Thank you, Trey Gallion.
Yeah, monthly show at Cricket Cave at NYC.
And then come on the cruise, man.
And we'll take LSD and weird out together and not watch. I'm not going to say it. Well, his cruise is sold out, so it's too late to be like, come on the cruise, man. And we'll take LSD and weird out together
and not watch...
I'm not going to say it.
Well, his cruise is sold out,
so it's too late to be like,
Oh, yeah, never mind.
We'll hug after.
Hey, Donkey Kong,
am I supposed to know who these people are?
Are they like friends of yours or what are they?
No.
The shithead.
Other people know who they are.
Other people know?
Is it going to get a big reaction?
I don't know.
You don't know?
All right. I don't know which You don't know? All right.
I don't know which one.
I don't think either of these shitheads is going to get a reaction, but we'll see.
Kellen, do you have anything to promote?
Great job, by the way.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for having me.
What was the name of your friend that you were playing for?
Nat.
Nat? Yeah. Nat?
Yeah.
Okay, Nat, come and get your prizes while everybody boos you.
Boo!
Boo!
Boo!
Where is he?
He's not even coming up to claim the prizes.
Just come and scoop him up.
Just scoop up all your prizes.
Boo!
I'm still taking the Yoda painting.
Boo! Kellen, is he here or did you make him up? He's here. Boo. I'm still taking the Yoda painting. Boo.
Kellen, is he here or did you make him up?
He's here.
Did you win the prizes for yourself?
He's afraid to come up here.
Why is he coming up here?
I'll give it to somebody else if he doesn't get the fuck up here.
Seriously.
Yay!
Oh, with a penguin's jersey, you fucking asshole!
Fuck you, you fucking dick! Oh, with a penguin's jersey, you fucking asshole! Fuck you, you fucking dick!
Oh, my God!
No, I'm taking the Yoda painting now.
Just put it...
Fucking...
I know that's fair.
He won it, that's fair.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No, for real.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can I say, as a way of my thank you,
I brought some Krispy Kreme donuts.
Have one.
Yeah, you get all this stuff here, dude.
Congratulations and good job.
You know Sidney Crosby.
It's a good name tag.
All right, Todd.
What do you got to plug, dude?
Just my Netflix special that started...
Yeah! And my podcast. Tonight was fun. what do you got to plug dude just my Netflix special that started yeah
and my podcast
tonight was fun
you don't know
it was really a good night
I had a good time
really good
yeah I think we all
had a good time
Doug Lowe's movies
returns to the Gramercy
Theater in New York
on March 21st
thank you to all
of my guests
Trey Gallion,
Kellen Hawley, and Todd Glass.
Hey, Trey, instead of standing in front of me, get the fuck out of here.
Like, why even bother to leave if you're just gonna stand in front of me. Get the fuck out of here. Like, why even bother to leave
if you're just going to
stand in front of me?
That guy's the worst.
He did?
He still got the painting?
Yeah.
I hate him.
All right. As always, and thank you to Comedy Works and for all you guys for being here. alright as always
and thank you to Comedy Works
and for all you guys for being here
as always Justin Long is a shithead
I mean he won't hear it
but still
don't tweet at him, you guys.
You should hear the shit they're talking about you in Denver.
And Trevor Simeon?
Simeon?
And Brock?
Brock Osweiler?
Brock Osweiler?
Are shitheads
Thank you guys
Thank you so much