Doug Loves Movies - Tom Green, Oliver Cooper, and Erica Rhodes Guest
Episode Date: May 20, 2014Doug welcomes comedians Tom Green and Erica Rhodes to the show, along with actor Oliver Cooper.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.c...om/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
They're still not warm, then he won't sleep
Cause Doug loves movies
Oh my God, there's a lot of
very involved
prize bags
and a poster roll.
Hey everybody, my name is
Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Almost professional.
I dare say.
Coming to you from the UCB Theater in LA
on Tuesday, May 20th,
2014, Wolf of Wall Street
Fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day of the
Dead Men Walking Tall, The President's
Men in Black
Fisher, King Ralph and Dog
Day Afternoon, Delight,
Sleep Perfect, Murder by Death Wish
Three Amigos.
Tomorrow,
today, if you're listening on Wednesday,
May 21st,
be sure to watch Getting Doug
With High on my YouTube channel.
Yeah, it's this and almost every Wednesday
at 4.15 Pacificific standard time and this Thursday
I'm going to be on at midnight on comedy central competing against my past and future Douglas
movies guests Jen Kirkman and Greg Fitzsimmons so yeah that should be a sweet one so check that out
and uh it's day five of the lost episode from Las Vegas
search. You think it might
be off the coast of Australia?
Or...
I don't know where the hell... I don't know what
happened, but apologies once again
to my guests on that show, Sarah Tiana,
Tony Hinchcliffe, and Brian Redband.
We will try to reschedule
all of them as soon as possible.
Super Tournament of Championships 2! Yes, band we will try to reschedule all of them as soon as possible super tournament of championships
two yes this friday night may 23rd at the gorgeous neptune theater in seattle washington
with sam the bam levine aka little wolverine going head to head to head with ken jennings
and matt myra yeah plus a round of Beat the Producer from the BJ Shea
Morning Experience on
99.9 KISW.
And
the prize bag
includes a Getting Doug with High mug.
Someone's very excited about that.
A copy of Gateway Doug.
Of course, Gateway Doug 2,
Force Fun, we're planning to plop
that on, it's going to drop
on July 8th.
And an action pack
lighter is in here.
And what was the other weird
thing I put in here? Oh yeah, a whole
ton of, really
huge roll of hemp wick.
Humboldt
hemp wick. Give them a plug.
It's funny.
There's all this shit out here,
but then also there was a guest
forgot to bring something.
Well, not forgot, but you know what I mean.
Two hot dogs from Pop's Hot Dogs.
I'm going to keep giving those away.
These don't even have an expiration date on them. It just says
at the very end, may be
discontinued without notice.
So
at any point they can just go, what? Those?
No.
We gave 250 of those to Doug
but we meant they had
I don't know what they would
I don't know why they would want people to come
all use them right away.
That would be just mobbed with people getting free $5 hot dogs.
But the only location this is good at is the 11711 National Boulevard location here in Los Angeles.
So it might be more trouble than it's worth.
But it's there in the bag for you.
And also, from
Cute Streak Designs,
at Cute Streak, I believe, on Twitter.
Is that right? Yeah.
Some awesome
movie posters we were looking at backstage.
There's a great Big Lebowski
one. A reimagining of movie
posters that they often do, like I see
them in the lobby of the
Alamo Drafthouse theaters when I'm out there on the road
doing shows at those places.
So some cool posters from Cute Streak
Designs are
part of the prize bag tonight.
It's something else we'll talk about when I get this
guest out here.
They may take a second to make it to the stage
because I don't think any of them have any idea
what they're in for tonight.
Three first-time guests, please give a big, warm welcome
to Oliver Cooper, Erica Rhodes, and Tom Green.
Thank you.
Come on out here, you guys.
Have a seat anywhere you'd like.
Listen to that.
Just for the listeners,
just like how quiet it is right now
what a docile panel haven't even picked up their microphones yet i did
all right erica rhodes everybody first time guest
this is a crazy crossover event in the world of podcasting because you are featured regularly on
the prairie home companion which is probably the opposite of what this is.
There's one fan.
It's the absolute opposite of what this is
except for both shows enjoy a good pun.
Mine are usually evolving like genitalia or something.
But is that fun to do?
Do you enjoy that environment?
Yeah, I really do, actually.
Do they swear off Mike?
When he changes the script, like, you know, during the show.
Oh, he screams at people like, fuck, fuck, goddammit, let's do it live.
He does it.
They're just.
Can you imagine Garrison Keillor just snapping like that?
I can't.
You did a movie that was almost in the prize bag,
but instead we have Garrison Keillor's Comedy Theater,
Songs and Sketches from a Prairie Home Companion.
That sounds so disappointing.
I mean, the movie's called, what's it called, Plague Town?
Yeah.
Yeah, and this is Garrison Keillor's comedy theater.
Like, between the two, what sounds more fun?
Plague Town. Well, the way you say it is Plague Town.
But what is Plague Town?
What happens in Plague Town?
It's about zombie children.
People just start having them?
Yeah. Actually,
it takes place in Ireland.
We shot it in Connecticut.
Did you have an Irish accent?
No, I was a foreigner
in Ireland. Oh, okay.
I was the bratty older sister who
brought along a boyfriend
and
was giving her dad a hard time
and then the zombie children came
and attacked everybody.
And that's something not interesting.
You lived the longest though, right?
Probably.
Yeah.
Spoiler.
You're the lead character in the film.
Yeah, you think I'm going to die
because I'm not very nice.
And then I don't.
Can't wait wait I cannot wait
to see it
it's a good thing
it's not in the prize bag
tonight
because I would steal it
I would keep it for myself
Oliver Cooper
another first time guest
on the show everybody
star of a movie
that caused a lot of...
It was a sensation in some good ways and bad ways.
It was a favorite of mine.
I loved it.
Project X.
Yeah.
And...
No one here liked it.
No.
I'm sure a lot of people loved it,
but it's definitely a movie to hate if you're a hater.
Oh, it had a lot of haters.
If that dog had really
floated away, like, to certain death,
if they didn't show him shortly thereafter
being okay... No, he did die. That was a new dog
they brought in. No!
Yeah. What?
Yeah, if he'd have died, I would
have never forgiven the movie, but
other than that, I had a great time.
Don't feel bad about the haters. I made Freddy
got fingered.
I actually...
I was like a race to see who'd bring that up
first.
Of course it was me.
I was going to introduce you as Tom
Freddy Got Fingered Green.
That movie has a cult following, though.
People love it. People love it.
And it's still on Comedy Central all the time.
Just saying, you know?
Yeah.
I'll watch it for a while.
Don't worry about the haters.
Yeah.
It makes Project X look like Citizen Kane.
Project X is the Citizen Kane of House Party's Gone to Rye movies.
Yeah, awesome.
It really is.
It's the best of that genre.
And then now you're in an arc
on the final season
of Californication.
Woo!
You are, yeah,
you are the love child
of David Duchovny
and Heather Graham.
Yeah.
Wow!
I look exactly like them.
Yeah.
I could see it.
I could see one of those where they put the two together and then bam.
People online, they'll give me a lot of shit for that.
They think I don't look anything like them, which I don't.
But then all they say is something about me being a Jew slob.
That's their way of getting at me about it.
That's what they call you?
Jew slob.
Like, how is this Jew slob
David Duchovny and Heather Grant?
Wow.
People tweet that at me.
People tweet that at me.
Oh, that's tweets.
Okay, that makes more sense.
I thought you meant, like,
publications.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Morning shows.
Coming up, a Jew slob.
Yeah, that wasb from Californication so yes
you're on there
this whole season
and then you've got
a movie coming out
that the great
Joe Dante directed
yeah
what's that called?
it's called
Bearing the X
it's uh
I don't even know
if it has a release date
so
yeah yeah
but coming out
someday
someday it'll be out
on TV
that must have been
neat working with him, though.
Yeah, no, it was cool.
It was definitely a cool experience.
Anton Yelchin's in it, and Ashley Green,
Alexander Daddario.
If you watch True Detective, she gets naked.
She's hot.
She is hot.
I mean, I'm straight, but she's hot.
Joe Dante, huh?
Yeah.
Did he do Dante's Peak?
First of all, use your microphone voice.
And it's Tom Green, everybody. Woo!
Sorry about that.
Sorry about that.
Poor microphone technique there on my part.
Dante's Peak had that horrifying scene
where that old lady had to climb out into the hot,
it wasn't lava, what was it?
Acid Lake.
Acid Lake, Jesus.
I said lava one time, people jumped down my throat
like a bunch of acid lake dwellers.
That was the summer that two Volcano movies came out.
That's why it came up.
One was Volcano and one was Dante's People.
You can't have a conversation about one without the other coming up.
Same summer.
They're married.
They're just two Volcano lovers for eternity.
The summer before was Armageddon and Deep Impact,
both movies about meteors hitting the Earth.
Deep Impact did well, but Armageddon seemed to Impact, both movies about meteors hitting the Earth. Yeah, Deep Impact did well,
but Armageddon seemed to just kind of say,
goodbye, Deep Impact.
We won't really think about you much.
Those were two summers in a row
where they had two movies about the same thing
come out at the same time,
and then they stopped doing that.
How does the White House is a Fallen thing fit into that?
What's that?
How does the White House is a Fallen thing fit into that?
Because that just happened twice. Yeah, they a fallen thing fit into that? Oh, yeah.
That just happened twice.
Yeah, they do do that then, right?
Yeah.
It's kind of a summer thing.
Like this summer,
we've got Spider-Man
and Transformers.
Didn't those both just happen?
Yeah, that's right.
Hasn't it been too short?
You are correct.
It actually happens
all the time.
And I fucked up
and didn't bring my...
Can I swear here?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. I didn't... At... Can I swear here? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I didn't...
At least for now.
I didn't bring the...
Net neutrality, everybody.
I forgot to bring my swag.
Yeah, but you're going to hang out on stage
for a second after the show.
Yeah.
Get mobbed by everyone.
But one person will be the person
that you will exchange some sort of way
to get in touch.
Yeah, absolutely.
Take him out for an In-N-Out burger.
Oh, okay.
That's a great prize.
You're going to have an In-N-Out burger with Tom Green.
Schedules permitting, of course.
I know you're both busy.
You both have things to do.
Thanks to everyone who lined up so early tonight.
Baseball Jordan was like 10th in line
because people got here so early.
It's exciting.
Have you been to the movies lately, Tom Green?
Oh, wait, also, is there some reason
why this came together right now?
Are you promoting something?
I have some shows next weekend at the Brea
Improv. Oh, that's right. That was
the first thing he said to me backstage is the prize
could be two tickets to the Brea Improv. And I said,
what else have you got?
Just because I
know that most of you
would not want to have to go to Brea.
Transportation not included.
But people that live in and near Brea
should definitely go. it's a great club
and it's just not close to here
not close to here
how far is it?
probably not a very good price
about an hour drive
but that's if you're
you know if you go late enough
and avoid traffic
but then risk getting
to the show late
okay
yeah
I've gone out there a lot
yeah
so scratch that then
you don't get any of that
you don't get that
you get an In-N-Out Burger
with Tom.
In-N-Out burger.
Are you paying for it, or is it Dutch?
Uh, yeah, no, they pay.
You get to buy Tom Green an In-N-Out burger.
That's not going to set you back that much.
Yeah.
That's totally worth it.
Yeah.
Are you going to, like, just take it and run out the door?
Yeah.
To go.
Yeah, I want it to go.
Yeah.
Set up a time to meet and get a free burger.
Absolutely.
Can they get a picture of you with it?
Yeah.
Okay, a picture of Tom Green with the burger that you just bought him.
Yeah.
It's for my Instagram, though.
Do you have a favorite one?
I like the one over there in the Universal City.
Oh, that's a good one.
When you come out.
When you're going into or out
of universal studios by the uh by the lancashire exit exactly of the one-on-one freeway you really
you really adapt to new environments well i could tell by the lancashire exit on the one-on-one
freeway here in los angeles california you probably lived here on and off for like 20 years one of the
finest in and out burgers in the city. No, 15. 15 years.
So I was acting like you just moved here.
But it feels like you just moved here.
Because I haven't lost the Canadian accent.
That's probably why.
We met on the 311 cruise.
And that was the best time
either of us has probably ever had.
Yeah. We were
performing some stand-up comedy
on the cruise ship together.
And then after the show,
you'd walk around the cruise ship
for like five days.
Yeah, just a stroll around the deck.
Because every few feet,
someone would stop you
and pass something to you
and you'd smoke it.
And then you'd try to go somewhere
and that was never going to happen.
It's very leisurely.
Very pleasant.
They do the same thing on the
Prairie Home Companion Cruise.
Is there a Prairie Home
Companion Cruise? There is.
And they're a bunch of hippies? They're a bunch of
very old people.
Oh, so they're all medicating?
Yeah, just playing Scrabble.
Have you actually been on that cruise?
Yeah.
And was it fun?
Yeah.
That's always, you know, we don't need a lie detector.
That voice going up like that is usually a pretty strong indicator
that there were
aspects of it that were fun.
And then there was also a lot of old people.
Yeah. We don't have to worry
about old people on this show. They do not listen.
They're not in here.
Fuck you, old people.
Have you guys been to the movies lately?
That's the question I like to ask before we get to the game portion of the show.
Have you, Oliver, have you seen anything lately?
I just saw Godzilla.
Did you have to say it that way?
I love that line where he's like, they call him Godzilla.
Who's saying that?
Is it an ethnic character?
No, it's the the Asian guy
the Asian guy
okay
he's a famous actor
what's his
Ken Watanabe
yeah yeah yeah
yeah it's not
Breaking Bad
no no
it's not Heisenberg
yeah
yeah
I liked it
it's fun
I'm the one
that Godzilla's
good movie though right that's what I've been hearing everyone smells something and comes along and goes it stinks like you know I'm the one that Godzilla's. Good movie, though, right?
That's what I've been hearing.
Every once in a while,
somebody will come along and go,
it stinks.
Like, you know,
I got that today
from a friend of mine
named Daniel.
And it's like,
what do you do with that?
Like, so many people
are saying it's good.
I want to air on that side.
So I'm going to see it.
It's good.
I liked it.
All right, cool.
Erica,
what have you seen lately?
Well, I watched Anchorman 2.
The witch version.
Witch version? Yeah.
There's one where they're all witches.
Not that one.
Anchorman 2, The Coven.
No, you know,
they made the movie, and then they said,
now here's a version that would have got an R rating
where every joke has changed.
700 new jokes.
I'm not kidding.
It was some ridiculous number like that.
It was like, wow, okay.
Well, then, I mean,
who cares what you're putting out in the first place
if it just is that interchangeable
with all these guys
and just say a bunch of different shit.
Which is better.
But I do want to see all of it, though.
I'm still compelled to see all of it.
They should have called that one Anchorman 3.
Yeah!
Right?
Because they said it even kind of went off
in different story directions.
Like, there's a musical number in the second one.
I'm like, I wish I had just waited for that one.
Because that sounds fun.
I like when those guys sing.
Tom, what have you seen lately? I just watched Sharknado on Netflix. I just watched it. I didn't
jump on the sort of the whole... I didn't see it... was it in the theater or
was it... it was... It was a huge hit huge hit it debuted on
the sci-fi channel
on the Oprah channel
yeah
I didn't see it
at the time
but then I
I watched it
last week
on Netflix
and really
really enjoyed it
a lot actually
is it a documentary
yeah no
it's a good
it was a good one
it's pretty fun
when 90210
gets up in that thing
yeah
no yeah that was good you know when he saws out of it yeah that was neat that was some good one. It's pretty fun when 90210 gets up in that thing. Yeah, that was good.
You have any saws out of it?
Yeah, that was neat.
That was some good shit.
Not too bad.
Good job, Sharknado.
It's not like Snakes on a Plane,
where everyone thought that was going to be the laugh riot of the century,
and then 10 minutes in, you're like, oh, this sucks.
See, I never saw Snakes on a Plane.
Ugh, it's terrible.
Yeah.
So dumb.
I forgot to mention that Oliver brought
this whole bag carrying
case from Showtime with
tons of Californication shit in there.
Wow.
I actually had nothing to do with any of that.
Like a bunch of different seasons.
This thing, whatever this is.
This is crazy.
Photography and media.
See,
now I feel like such an asshole now.
I had nothing to do with any of that.
Dude, in an hamburger, they're going to get to buy you one.
I know, that's true.
I meant to bring some.
They're going to save money
with all the hours and hours of free entertainment
that Oliver brought.
We know who has the publicist here.
Exactly.
But this is the part of the show
where I say, let the games
begin!
Gentlemen and lady, I don't know if
you guys know about this aspect of the show,
but people in the audience have brought wacky signs, name tags we call them.
Oh, cool. Look at that.
There's a few of them, yeah.
Wow.
And your job is to go and pick one that speaks to you, one that you think you would like to play for.
You can just walk right up to them, Oliver.
You could cruise over there and see what they got.
From Farmer's Insurance.
He's got a Farmer's Insurance ID, and what's his name there on the ID?
Michael Costa from Farmers Insurance is here with us tonight.
Let me get a good shot of that on my vine.
So you'll be playing for Michael,
and so if you win today, Michael gets all that stuff in the bag.
Oh, wait, how do I do bag. Oh, wait, I gotta...
How do I do this?
Oh, man, I'm screwed.
I'm one vine behind.
It's interesting.
There's an employee information line number on the back.
Who are you playing for, Erica?
What?
Am I putting the name of the Twitter person?
Oh, no. No, no, there's a shithead on the Twitter person? Oh, no.
No, no, there's a shithead on the back.
Don't mention that.
But you're playing for somebody that altered the Juno to say...
Drew-no.
Say Drew-no instead of Juno.
It's a really pretty cover they drew.
Yeah, it kind of actually reminds me of the Cute Streak designs.
Is there somebody involved with that?
No?
Just separate?
Okay, that's cool.
And who are you playing for there, Oliver?
It's Chris's.
It's a Fast Times at Chris's Mont High.
I don't know.
What is it?
Oh, okay, Chris.
It's pretty cool.
You drew this?
It's amazing. Seriously, look. Chris. It's pretty cool. You drew this? They say they're mean.
It's amazing.
Seriously, look at this.
That's nice.
That's nice.
Great movie.
Oh, mine's pretty, too.
One of the all-time greatest comedy movies ever
out of Los Angeles.
Yeah, yeah.
I just made probably
one of the worst vines ever made
of all the action
and all the name tags
because it started too late.
So anyway,
look for that, everybody.
To decide who gets to play first today,
we are going to play a quick game
called Doing Lines with Mark.
Nice.
I think that's fun.
Yeah.
People love it.
I think it's fun. It's a good goal. People totally love it. it's good go people totally love it this could get crazy yeah yeah it's crazy game is he actually gonna he's not here he's pre-recorded okay i know that's why they get
so excited they think he's gonna come out but uh he's got things to do he's making a movie where
he murders a lot of people. And so, yeah.
So normally around this time, he'd say something like,
you guys want to do some lines?
How are you guys doing?
Oh, here we go.
There it is.
Want to do some lines?
There it is.
How are you doing?
And now he's going to say a line from a motion picture,
and the first one of you that can guess the correct title of the movie that he's saying a line from will get to go first in the next thing.
Oh, he's doing lines. Okay.
He's going to say a line. Get it?
I thought we were going to do...
I know, I know. The expectations get raised
so high when we say it's time
to do lines with Mark.
Every time people are like, he's going to be here
and then we're going to do cocaine.
That's a double whammy when it just turns out
he's pre-recorded. Yeah.
No coke.
Here we go.
Have a listen, you guys.
All right, guys.
Here you go.
That's not part of it.
Daddy,
would you like some sausage?
Oh, I know that line.
I know that line.
What's that from?
That's from
Freddy Got Fingers.
That's correct.
Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage?
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
Play Mark saying it some more.
He says it three times.
He didn't quite read it right.
It's got to be more.
Listen to him.
Daddy?
No.
Would you like some sausage?
No, it's got to be.
That's how he plays.
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
Sausages?
Would you like some sausage?
No, no, it's not like that.
It's not like that. Would you like some sausage? No, you? No, no, it's not like that. It's not like that.
Would you like some sausage?
You have to sing it.
He's playing a piano when...
Oh, I know, I know.
He's playing a piano when he sings it.
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
In the trailer, when you do that,
in the trailer for that movie,
I lost my shit.
I thought it was
the most amazing thing I'd ever seen.
That's cool. That's cool that it made the game.
Yeah.
It's great that you figured it out.
So far, I think we've had
100% on that when we use a line from
a movie that somebody's in.
I wrote and directed
that movie.
Can you imagine if I didn't get the line?
I could imagine it. You'd be
surprised what people let go of and forget.
It would have made sense, actually, if I didn't
remember it.
There may be reasons why I should have blocked
that from my memory.
I don't know. Was Rip Torn
hilarious or frustrating? I love Freddy Got Fingered. I don't know. I mean, was Rip Torn hilarious or frustrating?
I love
Freddy Got Fingered.
I love it.
I do.
It was a...
All right,
so you're going
on the record.
Yeah, I do.
I love it.
Tom Green loves
Freddy Got Fingered.
Amazing part of my life.
I was saying earlier,
you know,
it's on Comedy Central
keeps playing it.
Amazing, amazing time
in my life, yeah.
Yeah, I'm not gonna stop.
Most critically reviled film in the history of cinema.
Is that true?
You think?
No.
Most?
That's the way they make you feel, though.
Let's give Leonard Maltin a quick spin, see what he thought of it.
Yeah.
But I bet you he gave it one and a half, maybe.
Yeah, well.
I don't think he went bomb.
Maybe he did.
Well.
Will it hurt you if I say that he did?
You don't have to even look it up to figure it out.
I can pretty much tell you what he said.
Really?
Yeah, I don't remember what he specifically said.
But give us the gist of it and then I'll tell you what he really said.
I'm sure it wasn't glowing.
Okay.
Oh, he did call it a bomb.
I apologize.
I apologize.
Did anyone give it a great review?
Do you remember?
Ah, yes, the New York Times.
I'm sure somebody did.
Look up the New York Times review.
Okay, here we go.
Since we're talking about...
Since we're talking about me.
Look up that review.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
See, it said it was good.
Splendiferous.
No, I'm sure it got good reviews.
Well, that was the only good review.
All right.
It was a good place to have it.
But there's got to be some movie that was more critically reviled.
Okay, good.
I appreciate that that's your instant thought.
There's got to be a movie that no one liked, not even that one paper.
All right, shit, I was going for the record.
But people also, not even that one paper. Alright, shit, I was going for the record. But people also,
not to belabor this, but people
must come up to you all the time and say nice
things about it. The people out there
that love it. I could, yeah.
You know what I mean? You get a lot of that,
I'm sure. There's sort of a small
contingent of crazy people that
in every town, there's
a few of them, and they make themselves
known.
They'll yell, Daddy, would you like some sausage?
Yes, of course they will.
I would if I didn't know you.
Go to taxi cabs and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Comedy's so weird in that, like, I could never get over,
I recently saw a documentary about Roger Ebert,
and there was a lot of stuff in there with Gene Siskel.
And from my youth, I could never get over that they gave two enthusiastic thumbs up to Wise Guys.
Yeah.
You remember that movie, the Brian De Palma comedy with Joe Piscopo and Danny DeVito?
Yeah.
It's just truly awful.
You know, like, should have been, everyone should have hated it.
Right.
But these two guys, not only did they always argue with have been, everyone should have hated it. Right. But these two guys,
not only did they always argue with each other,
but they both loved it.
And it was always the one
that stuck in my head
is like, why the fuck
did they love that?
And it's just because
comedy hits people
all so differently
than anything else.
Like, 12 Years a Slave,
it's easier for everyone
to sit around and go,
that's really great.
Yeah, yeah.
But nobody can agree
on what the best comedy
was last year.
I thought you were going to say it's really great. Yeah, yeah. But nobody can agree on what the best comedy was last year. I thought you were going to say
it's really funny.
People could get together
and agree that 12 Years a Slave
is a riot.
It's really funny.
That it's really fun.
But comedy's harder to agree with.
What was that Joe Pesci
and Rodney Dangerfield movie?
Easy Money.
Easy Money.
That's another one that I like,
I cannot get through.
I just watched it for the first time. I could not get through it.
I love those two guys.
Yeah, yeah. Favorite people. No, they were like
knocking it out of the park around that time.
That one came along and put the brakes on it.
It's just not that good.
Maybe it doesn't hold up though. It could be too.
Yeah, that's it. It just doesn't hold up.
That's it.
So Tom, you get to go first in a game
we call Last Man Stanton.
And this game will decide who wins the prize bag this evening.
And it's a pretty simple game.
Have you given us a starter name before, Jordan?
Yeah.
Okay, he's done that already, so we've got to give somebody else a chance.
But basically, what I'm going to do is I'm going to ask somebody in the audience to name an actor, actress, or director that's done a ton of movies.
And then what happens is I'll play two because I like to play along.
We will take turns guessing or naming movies that that person was involved with until we run out.
When you can't think of one, you're out.
And do we count who says how many?
No, we just go until a single elimination.
As soon as you fuck up, you're out.
Oh, you say one is wrong?
Just like Prairie Home Companion.
You fuck up and you're out.
So if you say a movie where the person is not in the movie,
then you're out?
Yeah, if you mess it up like that.
Had a guy on recently,
he thought Martin Scorsese directed The Town.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he was laughed out of the room,
so don't be that dumb if you can help him.
Well, he just didn't know Scorsese movies at all,
so that was kind of a good guess.
I think I'm going to fuck this up.
Yeah, I'm scared.
I'm scared.
Well, I'm trying to spare you guys the Leonard Maltin game,
which is a lot more complicated.
But we can all agree on somebody to do,
that you guys at least have some names.
This gentleman here on the floor seems to have an idea. Ben Affleck you guys know some ben affleck movies right the town hey
starting us off ben affleck directed the town that's right he did not martin scorsese not
martin scorsese uh okay erica can you think of one? Good Will Hunting. Yeah.
Academy Award winner for screenplay with his buddy Matt Damon.
Go Boston.
Yeah.
That's where I'm from.
That's right.
All right, Good Will Hunting.
What do you think, Oliver?
Gigi.
Gigi.
We're going to have to go to the judges on this one.
How is it pronounced?
I don't even know how you spell it.
I haven't even actually seen that movie,
but I'm pretty sure he was in that movie.
G-I-G.
Right, but how do you pronounce it?
G-G.
G-G.
Is that wrong?
I'd say we give it to him.
How is it?
How do you pronounce it?
It's fucking G-Lee.
G-Lee?
It's pronounced G-Lee.
G-Lee.
G-Lee.
I can get a couple.
It's spelled G-G, but it's pronounced G-Lee.
You gotta check it out, dude.
The guy that plays Doug in the Hangover movies, he plays a mentally handicapped man in G-Lee.
Is he good?
Yeah.
What? Oh, no, I didn't say he was good.A. Is he good? Yeah. What?
Oh, no, I didn't say he was good.
I mean, he commits to the role.
He commits very much to the role.
But so did Sean Penn and two other non-mentally handicapped dudes
acting in scenes with actual mentally handicapped dudes
that there's nothing creepier than the scene in I am
Sam or five actors two of which are actually handicapped are discussing
making an answering machine message and one of them says I think your message
needs to be more outgoing because it's an outgoing message guess who says that?
It's an actor pretending to be.
It's horrible.
Horrible. It's horrible.
Alright, wow. That was like
some awesome stalling if that's what I was doing.
Yeah, you were giving us time.
Trying to think of a Ben Affleck movie.
Oh, is that what you were doing there?
Chasing Amy.
Chasing Amy.
Alright, back to you, Tom.
Armageddon.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
With the great circus animal cracker love scene.
Makes a little fucking cracker lion walk around on her belly for a while.
Yeah.
Graze. I forgot that part.
I saw it a long time ago.
Well, you know, the thing about that movie
is you don't want to miss a thing.
Yeah.
I don't want to miss a thing.
I don't want to miss a thing.
Nice.
What do you got, Erica,
for another Ben Affleck movie?
Argo.
Yes, Argo, fuck yourself.
That was nice.
That answer.
I thought that was...
What? Someone said that?
No, I thought he said...
Pearl Harbor.
I was just joking.
Oh, Pearl Harbor.
That's how you could just drive a lot of his career.
No, he's been in some awesome stuff
like one of my favorite comedies of all time
the critically reviled
Mallrats.
I love that.
Oh, I just thought of another one.
Okay.
Oh, and another one.
Oh, they just keep coming.
Okay. Is there a time limit or Uh-oh, jeez. Oh, they just keep coming. Okay.
Is there a time limit, or do I have a few seconds here?
You have a few hours. Do you have a fun story about anything?
I have a few seconds.
Well, if I told the story, I wouldn't be able to think of anything.
So I was more thinking of just sitting here in silence for a minute.
Okay.
Let's just give Tom some quiet, everybody.
Staring at Michael Kosta's
farmer's insurance badge.
Stinking of Ben Affleck. Daredevil.
Oh, wow.
I like it.
Oh, crap. He's been in a lot of movies.
This is intense.
This might get me eliminated.
Really?
Batman.
He's going to be in Batman.
I know he's going to be,
but also,
it's not just going to be called Batman.
So you're double wrong.
Returns?
It's Batman versus Superman, I think.
Or vice versa.
Really?
Yeah.
Am I eliminated then?
You're eliminated.
I'm sorry.
That's...
I was trying to...
You wanted her to stay?
Yeah. Here, I'll just write down
Untitled Batman.
Because they'll change their minds anyway
at some point.
So we're good. We're good.
Alright.
Oliver?
One of my favorites,
Dazed and Confused.
Yeah!
Oh, I thought of that one,
and then you took it from me.
I knew you were thinking of that one
when you said Polar Rats.
Yeah, I did think of that one.
Holy shit.
I'm going to go with...
How about...
Oh, shit, you guys are going to shit
Bounce
with Gwyneth Paltrow
yeah that was about the
fabric softener
yes it was
quite the departure for him
didn't work out so good
the bounce fabric softener story
about the brilliant
John C. Bounce, who invented
the fabric
softener. Just keep talking until somebody
laughs at something, okay?
You're trying to think of another one, right?
No. Because it's your turn.
I thought that's who you were doing.
Surviving Christmas.
Oh.
This guy said finally.
That was on my mind.
I've never even heard of this movie.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, well.
Yeah, well.
It's the story.
Yeah, it is.
People in the audience are talking.
It's the modern day Christmas story.
Who else is in there?
Are you stalling on Erica's behalf?
James Gandolfini.
James Gandolfini, the late, great James Gandolfini
is in Surviving Christmas.
Got a weird laugh, I guess, because he's not surviving.
Was that the joke?
I don't know.
I think we just got a sick fuck in the crowd here.
Sick fucker.
Look at this fucking asshole.
What do you got this time, Erica?
What else is Ben going to do in the future?
I'll love.
Love.
You had all that time around to think of another one?
Something with love.
Oh, I bet you it was.
I bet love was in a title of something.
All right.
Love something.
I thought we saved you because you'd come back.
No.
Like on American Idol, you know, they save somebody and they come back, but stronger than ever.
Is he in that movie with Jennifer Lopez?
Yep.
Yeah?
Yeah, it's called Gigi.
Gigi.
Gigi.
Okay.
But thank you for playing.
Thanks for having me.
Nice try.
Thanks, guys.
Druno gets me to say that.
I'll say that thing on the back
at the end of the show,
the shithead.
There you go.
Don't say it out loud.
Just pass it down to me.
Sorry to let you down, Drew.
Just pass it down here.
I gotta prep for this.
What?
All right.
Oliver?
He was in the critically acclaimed movie
that I was also in, actually,
called Runner and Runner.
Oh, dude.
Huge hit. Great movie called Runner and Runner. Oh, dude! Huge hit.
Great movie.
Runner and Runner.
Dogma. Dogma.
I can visualize the movie
that I'm thinking of.
Sure you can.
The title.
I just thought of it, too, I think.
I think you just telegraphed it to me
did I yeah
I think I've got it yeah
it is called
oh you can do it
jeez
this is
this can't be it
this can't be it
this is a tough game man
like
he's probably got another dozen movies that he's done.
I know, I know.
People in the audience are going crazy.
But they're also saying to themselves,
was that Casey or Ben?
That's what I was doing.
Which one was it?
Man.
Did he have a cameo in the one
that he directed
with Casey
like did he bump
into him on the street
and they look
at each other funny
no
I'm kidding
like Stallone
and Travolta
in Staying Alive
they like kind of
bump into each other
on the street
and give each other
a look
man
now
strategically
at this point
when you're having
a mental block
You have the visual of one movie
But you can't remember the name
Would you try to
Sort of think of the name of the movie
That you can visualize
Or would you get off of that
And try to think of another movie altogether
I'd move on yeah
When one's not coming to you
It's much better to move on
Because I was getting locked up
Thinking of the name of this movie
He's done a lot of it
I have to change gears He's done a lot of them. I have to change gears and think of something else.
Yeah, I just thought of another one.
Oh, fuck.
So you're like two rounds ahead in your mind right now.
Kind of, yeah.
I'm doing all right.
Oh, wait, I can't think of what it's called.
Okay, I think I got it.
See, I keep going back and trying to picture the name of the movie that I'm thinking of.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fuck.
Oh, well.
I can't lose now.
Oh, okay, then.
Give me one more.
In that case, if you can't lose, we've got to wait.
We've got to wait.
Give me one more second.
Give me one more second.
All right.
Man, it's...
Shush, audience. End of... Shush, audience.
End of...
Shush, audience.
The world?
Everybody's got...
No, it's called...
Ideas.
Can I say who's in it?
Sure.
I mean, you can talk your way through it,
but then you might help me and Oliver
to think of another one.
Oh, right, yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
Because sometimes it is just that elusive title.
Okay.
We got to move on.
All right, shit.
Okay, give me a countdown here.
All right.
From 1,000.
Okay.
9, 9, 9.
Thank you.
9, 98.
I got Surviving Christmas.
Is that worth two points or
no
it was a nice poll
but
not
the day after
that's not
it was about
oh I can't say
I can't say what it was about
that's gonna give it away
day after was the TV movie
after the Holocaust
yeah
no nuclear
nuclear Holocaust
yeah yeah
he wasn't in it
not after the Holocaust
no no
the day after yeah yeah Nuclear Holocaust. Yeah, yeah, he wasn't in it. Not after the Holocaust.
The day after.
Good thing that Holocaust ended yesterday.
Guess we better pick ourselves up and go back to living.
Okay, I'm sorry, Tom, you're out.
All right, Oliver.
Shit.
Name it. That sucks, I know. Name it and claim it. I can't remember. You haven're out. All right, Oliver. Shit. Name it. That sucks.
Name it and claim it.
I can't remember.
You haven't been thinking either?
I've been thinking.
I've been thinking.
This is a tough one.
Can it be something that he's going to be in?
That's what I did.
She did.
No.
That was a one-time pass.
All right.
I can't remember if this is the name of it.
It's chasing.
Is it chasing?
It's a...
No, you said that one.
I said chasing Amy. Oh, you did? Yeah, yeahasing... It's a... No, you said that one. I said Chasing Amy.
Oh, you did?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that's done.
So that's it?
That's all you got?
No, no, hold on.
I got...
Give me a second.
Give me a second.
You got like 10 minutes over here.
Fuck.
I know, I know.
It's so hard.
Oh, shit.
It's not coming to me.
You're still the last person to have named one,
so the prize bag will go to Fast Times at where?
At Chris's Mon High?
At Chris's Mon High, yeah.
What is Z? I don't understand.
Oh, I don't know.
Good way to distract me from the game.
Z Monty.
I can't think.
Do you guys know a ton of movies?
Of course they do.
I know a ton of movies.
Everybody out there is just like, fuck it.
Can I throw out a hint?
Now you know one?
Please.
Now you know one?
I still know the movie that I don't know the title to.
Oh, okay.
So I could describe the movie and then maybe he'll...
Okay, I like that.
That's fun.
Yeah.
It's kind of a fun thing.
Yeah, try it.
Give it to him.
Talk him through it.
I have a little idea.
Okay, it's about a nuclear attack in America on American soil.
Morgan Freeman is in it.
It's a big blockbuster type movie.
You see the nuclear weapon go off
and the helicopter crashes into the wall and everything,
but they live.
I don't know.
At the end, they live.
I have no idea.
I don't know what that one is.
There's a movie where he's on a school bus
that I'm picturing.
Oh, yeah.
He played the 12-year-old.
No, it's like...
In a man's body.
Yeah.
A school bus.
It's like a movie.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Flowers for Algernon.
That was dope.
It was the short bus, right?
Can it be a movie that he was in?
Was he in School Ties?
No.
Can it be a movie that he's involved in?
Does he have to be an actor?
What?
He was involved in something he didn't act in?
Yeah, just something that he saw.
Gone Girl.
Just something he went to see.
Yeah, you already said it wrong.
Gone, well, that was the movie that he's doing.
Gone Baby Gone.
Gone Baby Gone.
Gone Baby Gone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he directed that.
I like that movie a lot.
Good one.
Does that count?
Yeah, it counts.
No, well, you win anyway.
I mean, you don't really win because I'll also add Reindeer Games.
Oh, yeah.
Some of All Fears. Wow. That's the one I'm talking
about. That was it? Some of All Fears.
I didn't know that. It was a Jack Ryan movie, wasn't it?
Yeah, that's the one.
Changing Lanes. Yeah.
What else have you guys got?
Jade Silent Bob Strike Back.
Oh, Jade Silent Bob Strike Back.
Shakespeare in Love.
Shakespeare in Love.
Got nominated for an Oscar for that maybe.
What?
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, of course.
Paycheck.
Paycheck.
Wow, listen to everybody.
Wow, they are just dying to get this out.
It's like the price is right.
They drill you with them.
They drill you with them.
They will write to you on Twitter with the ones we didn't think of.
What's amazing is how many of them there are
that we didn't remember.
And it's true of everybody that we do this with,
except for the Coen brothers.
We remembered every Coen brothers movie.
Unbelievable.
But it's a tough game.
But Oliver is officially our winner.
And Chris, where's Chris at?
Come get all your stuff.
There you are.
There we go. There we go.
Look at that.
Congratulations.
And you got to work out this hamburger thing.
Will you buy him a...
Yes.
Will you buy Tom an hamburger?
Yeah.
I can't wait.
Thank you.
I can't wait for the...
Thank you.
Yeah.
No, I can't wait.
I want extra large fries and...
No, I'll buy. I'll buy. I don't want to make you No, I'll buy.
I don't want to make you buy.
I'll buy.
What a great guy.
Happy to buy.
I think she would have been honored to buy.
I'm sorry I let you down, Michael.
From Farmers Insurance.
Michael from Farmers Insurance.
He'll be back with that great name tag.
Somebody else, I'm sure, will pick it.
Does he work there or he just has it?
He works there or he has it?
He works there, yeah.
That's his name tag.
You work there?
Yeah.
Great.
This is going to be a great endorsement for the company.
I use Farmers. Are they going to be psyched?ment for the company. I use Farmers.
Are they going to be psyched?
Yeah.
You'll probably get fired.
Check out what happens, Tom, when you do this.
We are Farmers.
Nice.
There you go.
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
Michael Kosta just got moved.
I'm loving it.
Wow.
So, uh...
What the fuck?
That's amazing.
That's cool.
Erica, oh, you passed me your name tag.
What do you got to plug here
as we round off the show here?
Apologies to put your hands together.
We're going a couple minutes over.
I'll be...
Oh, what?
I thought you meant like that. Everybody, put your hands together. We're going a couple minutes over. I'll be... Oh, what? I thought you meant like that.
Everybody, put your hands together.
I was like looking around
going, are you going in first?
Actually, Michael, we need you
to come give us a shithead
for me to say at the end of the show because
Tom did not win on your
behalf.
Just anybody you want me to call a shithead.
Some of all fears.
Please make it better than this one that Druno wrote.
And what's going on, Erica?
What can you plug?
I'll be performing at the
Laugh Factory tomorrow doing stand-up
for just for
Laugh Showcase.
Nice.
And next week
I'm doing the Armando show here.
Oh, cool. That's a fun show, right?
Saturday, yeah. Okay, cool.
Thanks for being on the show.
Did you have fun? Yeah, I had a lot of fun.
I think, it feels like you did.
I learned a lot.
Yeah, what's the next
Ben Affleck movie called?
Batman and
Spider-Man versus...
I apologize.
It's rude to quiz people about something.
Superman.
Superman.
No reason to remember.
Oliver, the rest of the season of Californication.
Watch that, you guys.
I have a movie that I'm self-distributing on Vimeo
it's called Four Dogs
and it's going to be available June 10th
we're going to make $3 to
rent it and $4 to buy it
so that'll be on
what platform can they get it on?
Vimeo is doing this thing called
Vimeo On Demand, just like iTunes
it's really new.
We're like the first movie ever to do it.
Alright, just Google. If you can't remember, Google
Oliver Cooper. You said
you're on Twitter? Yeah.
At the Oliver Cooper. Alright, cool.
And Tom Green, what's going on, man?
I've got a new television show
on AXIS TV.
It's on Thursday nights and it's live.
Everybody watch, please.
It's a lot of fun.
And I also
have some...
It's a lot of fun, though. It's a fun show. It's a talk show.
You can call into the show on Skype and talk to our guests.
June 12th, we're back
with a new season.
Steve Carell is our guest. You can call and talk to him.
Yeah, everybody's talking
about this movie, Foxcatcher,
that they're saying he's the lock for a Best Actor nomination.
Yeah, it's going to be exciting.
Fake nose and everything.
Yeah.
Serious, dramatic acting from him.
Well, thank you guys.
Thank you, Tom Green, Erica Rhodes, and Oliver Cooper.
Best panel ever.
So polite.
And as always,
at Willie DeSquid is a shithead.
Yeah.
Good job, Druno.
No.
I put all this pressure on everybody
to come up with something funny like it's on you.
Can I also ask everybody to follow me on Twitter?
Oh, sure.
I forgot to say your Twitter.
At TomGreenLive is my Twitter.
TomGreenLive.
It's not TomGreen.
It's at TomGreenLive.
Is there some other guy with TomGreen
that wouldn't give it up?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
We already got in a Twitter beef battle about it,
and it sort of ended up escalating to the point
where I felt bad about, like, just life and stuff
because of all the negative energy
sort of started flying around,
and then, you know, his followers were mad,
and my followers had turned into a big thing.
So I'd just like to say just, you know,
I don't like to say anything bad about it.
His followers?
Yeah, yeah.
He had followers?
Yeah, yeah.
The other Tom Green?
Yeah, yeah. He's a? Yeah, yeah. The other Tom Green? Yeah, yeah.
He's a college professor in Toronto.
Oh.
So I'm sure he had some very, very close followers, but not that many.
No, no.
A few hundred.
A thousand, maybe?
I think he has like 1,500 now.
Oh, okay.
I've been keeping track.
Well, now he's just getting a bunch of people
to just stumble in looking for you
and don't know their way around Twitter.
No, we have a cordial relationship now.
Oh, that's good.
Tom Green and I.
Is there a...
Maybe you could go speak to one of his classes.
Yeah, no, absolutely, absolutely.
All right.
Let's get that going.
Yeah.
At Humber College in Toronto.
All right, so this is...
What I was doing was like the closing out of the show.
But I loved all of that.
We're not going to cut anything, you guys.
Just wanted to get the plug in there for the Twitter because I like Twitter.
No, I know.
I'm sorry I didn't ask you what your Twitter name is.
That's okay.
I asked everybody else.
At Erica Rhodes.
Thanks.
R-H-O-D-E-S.
And as always,
I'm on Instagram too.
Using employee ID
is a shithead.
Now it's time
we're done
to watch another
talkie.
Guys,
a bold and
viewing crowd
was big.
It's cocky.
There's no room
in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.