Doug Loves Movies - Tom Segura, Matt Fulchiron, and Aaron Kleiber Guest

Episode Date: August 10, 2014

Live from the Pittsburgh Improv, Doug welcomes comics Tom Segura, Matt Fulchiron, and Aaron Kleiber to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice a...t https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats With 50 as in 5 more kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody. Alright, that wasn't the part where you're supposed to jump in, sir. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies! All right.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Coming to you once again from the Improv Comedy Club in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, on Sunday, August 10th, let's call it. 2014 Wolf of Wall Street fight, Terminator 2 Judgment Day of the Dead, Men Walking Tall The President's Men in Blackfisher, King Ralph at Dog Day, Afternoon
Starting point is 00:01:17 Delight, Sleep Perfect, Murder by Death Wish, Three Amigos Worlds End of Watchmen Don't Leaving Las Vegas, Food, La Jingle, All the Way, World. Fastest Indian.
Starting point is 00:01:37 That's right, sir. You are the fastest Indian. At 420! Yay! That's right. It's a beautiful day outside. And you guys are here with your home-crafted name tags. Can I see them?
Starting point is 00:01:54 Can you show them to me, Pittsburgh? I remember Mr. Josh Fire from yesterday. Sean loves Brazil. It's a little poster of the movie Brazil. There's a Doug Loves Movies sticker on a... What is that? It's a papaya. It's a papaya.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Oh, Maya. Oh, a Guardians of the Galaxy situation right there. That's cool. And yeah, I predicted there'd be lots of signs. I was right. A few of them are lit up and everything. So Kung Fu, Russell, and Flo. Just written on a big piece of cardboard.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I love it. All right, you guys, put them down. Put your weapons down. And we will look at those again a little later on in the show, as you know. Here's some business I gotta take care of Minneapolis Doug Loves Movies is coming next Friday August 15th at the Women's Club of Minneapolis
Starting point is 00:02:54 that's where we're doing that show hashtag yes all women's club laughter San Francisco Saturday August 16th at 420 I'm interrupting Twilight Eclipse, the third and perhaps worstest installment of the Twilight films at the Castro Theater
Starting point is 00:03:13 with special guests, including one of your favorite Douglas Marie's regulars and an actor-comedian who's never done this show before. So that's exciting. Sunday, August 17th, I'm doing stand-up at Liquid Laughs in Boise Idaho. From the corrections department Ewan McGregor plays dual roles in Down with Love Not Down by Law. Tempe Arizona what we're back into plugs so quickly Tempe Arizona I'm doing stand-up at the Improv on
Starting point is 00:03:44 Wednesday August 20. In Seattle, Washington. I'll be there Friday, August 22. Neptune Theater. All of my dates and dinks and do's and dabs are at Douglovesmovies.com. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. You all came
Starting point is 00:04:00 out on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Is there some sort of pre-season football on right now or something? That was yesterday. You lucked out that you're here today.
Starting point is 00:04:16 This is an interesting thing in the prize bag, and maybe this gentleman up front. Oh, I saw you at the movie theater today too, didn't I? What did you see today? Oh, that Philip Seymour Hoffman, rest in peace. What's it called?
Starting point is 00:04:32 A Most Wanted Man. Your review made me go, oh great, I don't have to see that. But I do love Philip Seymour Hoffman, so I do kind of want to see his last starring role. But somebody gave me these yesterday. There's stickers that say Pittsburgh Hearts Doug,
Starting point is 00:04:48 and it's got my face on there, in 2014. So, of course, I've got to keep one of those. But here, could you help me out, Josh, and take one and then pass these around so as many people I was just going to put them all in the prize bag and just burden one person with a hundred stickers with my face on it.
Starting point is 00:05:16 This is a fun game. Put it somewhere really interesting or disgusting and then take a picture of it and tweet it to me and I'll retweet it. Or like on Pittsburgh, not on the landmarks, but like near the landmarks. Don't fuck up a landmark with my stupid face. Gateway Duck 2 Forced Fun is in the prize bag.
Starting point is 00:05:42 It didn't fit in the prize bag, so some of you, you've seen it sitting here the whole time. A board game that was given to me, and I'll probably never play it. It was just sitting there. I feel bad for it, because board games are made to be played. It's called Schmovie, and I also wanted to give them another plug. Schmovie, it's a board game where you make up plots of movies, I think is how it works. So that's in the prize bag today. It flew all the way to Pittsburgh with me.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I just dropped my CD on the ground. That's how much respect I have for it. I think it's $4.99 on iTunes. Let's get these guests out here. There happen to be three very funny comedians and friends of mine that are here in town and ready to experience this.
Starting point is 00:06:31 I know you guys are going to treat them nicely. Please give a big warm welcome to Aaron Kleiber, Matt Fulgeron, and Tom Segura. Oh yeah. Let's start with Aaron Kleiber is back, everybody. Second appearance. Pittsburgh comedy phenom, Aaron Kleiber. Oh, that sounds good.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Tearing it up here at the Improv Monthly on a Wednesday. I'm starting to sound like Brody Stevens. Kleiber, Wednesday. Positive energy. Yes. 818. Till I die. But Aaron, tell us more about yourself.
Starting point is 00:07:34 What do you got going on lately, buddy? I do comedy all over the place. You do a thing where you, if you don't mind me interrupting to talk about you some more, you do a thing where you, if you don't mind me interrupting to talk about you some more, you do a thing where you can do like a movie, you can improvise an entire movie in like five minutes? Yeah, I did this thing on YouTube for a little while, and there's a ton of them on there
Starting point is 00:07:55 where I just would go see a movie, a new movie or an old movie, and for instance, like Iron Man 3. Okay, do that one for us right now. I don't remember Iron Man 3. Do you really remember some of them? No. I was going to say, it seemed like putting you on the spot that's why I did it.
Starting point is 00:08:13 A five minute movie review would be hard to remember. Jurassic Park, I did Independence Day, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and I just do it in five minutes. As fast as I can. And they're fun. They're on YouTube. They're fun. I love it. I think it's a great concept. And then you have, for the prize bag, you included a
Starting point is 00:08:29 live recording, a DVD called Grown Man Business. Yeah, it's all about growing up life. Yeah, Grown Man Business. Part of my abstinence program. I'm glad this has a rapper on it then. Is this some sort of... Thank you for being here and for being back. And also last year we had some sound difficulties
Starting point is 00:08:50 that we had to work our way through. And also to the audience, thank you for coming back. Because there was a lot of loud booming noises and it was kind of crazy. We're doing it. We're doing it. We're doing it. We're doing it well.
Starting point is 00:09:06 And Tom Segura is here, everybody. Hello. Thank you. First time guests, co-host of your Mom's House podcast, which yes, people love it. Headlining here all weekend at the Pittsburgh Improv. And made a very special new friend the other day, didn't you, Tom? Iron Mike Tyson. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Good things happen to people who fly to Pittsburgh. Tom has Iron Mike's phone number in his phone now. It was the best because I was so not wanting to get on that flight because it was that I was like what press do we they make you do press when you do stand-up you know like the next morning and I was like what's the press for Thursday and they're like oh there's none and I was like then why am I fucking flying there a day early and they're like just get there just get there and just enjoy it and then just enjoy Pittsburgh yeah and
Starting point is 00:10:07 then I was so pissed about it and then I met Mike Tyson everything's cool now yeah it's almost like they didn't know that they were pushing you towards your fate yes they just had to go sorry we just gotta we didn't get you any media yeah there's got to be a reason. But now... God, probably. Now, intervening. Every week now, I'm going to request to go, like, four days early to every show. See if I can meet... I don't think Mike Tyson or people like him would be flying everywhere you go.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Really? But good luck with that. And also, please let me know if you ever decide to call Mike Tyson like let's say somebody's bullying you. That'd be pretty awesome to call him up and say, hey man, can you just
Starting point is 00:10:55 come around to this one drugstore guy gives me a hard time. Yeah, don't be a problem. I'll come by. I think I watch a lot of Netflix he'd be like you're your own man Tom you gotta figure it out
Starting point is 00:11:09 Matt Fulcheron is here everybody thank you thank you very much thank you also here for the whole weekend in Pittsburgh but not on the same flight with Tom and Iron Mike? No, I wish, because I'm actually being bullied by somebody in New York City right now.
Starting point is 00:11:30 I don't want to get into it, but it would be cool if Iron Mike would stop by Cabin on Thursday and just fucking flex a little bit in the East Village. It would be kind of nice. Can I borrow him? Absolutely. Also, don't think that's how that's going to work. I think
Starting point is 00:11:48 there's a flaw in that plan. Have you been to the movies at all since you hit the pit? Me and Tom went on a date yesterday to see Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. People love it. I still haven't seen it.
Starting point is 00:12:03 I don't know why I'm holding off on it, but I will see it. What did you think? I thought it was a lot of fun. Whoever trained those monkeys. No, I'm definitely not seeing it then. It's a real drag. I want a bleak monkeys film. It's very existential. But it really is fun? You thought it was fun?
Starting point is 00:12:25 Because I thought it was kind of intense It's intense but it's fun to see monkeys talk ride horses draw you know, do human shit I really enjoyed that part
Starting point is 00:12:36 Shoot guns while riding horses Fight It's like, why even be a big angry ape if you got all that at your disposal Yeah You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:43 Could have been chimps or something. Right. The monkeys cry. That would be awesome. The monkeys cry. That's pretty great. And we're putting your CD in the prize bag.
Starting point is 00:12:53 It's called This is the Part of the Job I Hate. Yeah, the stand-up. I hate the stand-up part. Everything else is fucking easy as shit. I love it. And Tom Segura's album, what's it called, Tom? It's called Completely Normal. Yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Completely Normal, that's going in the prize bag. And again, that wonderful schmovie. What did you think of the movie, you guys, the Apes movie? I thought it was really well made, but really I thought that I was hoping for more like uh graphic violence like i thought that like i mean if you know it's not real no monkeys are getting hurt or anything so like i would like to have seen like if you know apes are incredibly strong why not in a movie like that see them like tear someone's arm right out of its socket and like well that's the thing if
Starting point is 00:13:44 it's a person and there's bloodshed, the apes in this movie probably push people around a lot. They did. But there's no bloodshed. That's how you get the PG-13, unfortunately. Fuck the PG-13. I'd love to see an R-rated extended cut where it's just like,
Starting point is 00:14:00 holy shit, that ape ripped that guy's jaw out of his face. That's what I want to see. Because it's just like, holy shit, that ape ripped that guy's jaw out of his face. Like, that's what I want to see. Because it's not, I mean, you know, it's not really, that's what, that's, I'd be like. I'm with you on that. I just, I doubt that footage exists, but I hope, I hope they put it back in there
Starting point is 00:14:17 for the, you know, but that's the thing is, it's like, hasn't really happened that way. Like, they put out those bonus editions of PG-13 and R-rated comedies that are supposedly dirtier on DVD. Supposedly have more nudity and stuff. But they don't really put out stuff and say, it's more violent than the original. It would be such a waste.
Starting point is 00:14:39 There may be an example of that that I'm not thinking of. It would be a huge waste of money if they made this movie and then they filmed incredibly graphic violent scenes and then were like, we're saving it, though. Like, we're going to save it for the team because it would just be, you know. But that's a trick, too, though, to make it really graphic and then they'll make you cut it back a little bit
Starting point is 00:14:57 and you still get away with something. I've been pretty amazed by, like, Gardens of Galaxy. It's pretty violent. Yeah. Yeah, at one point, several men get impaled at the same time by something, and then thrown back and forth, like, basically until they're
Starting point is 00:15:11 dead. And then people laugh about it. It's a great movie. Aaron, what have you seen lately? I saw Lucy last weekend. Yeah, I saw that too. I saw that yesterday.
Starting point is 00:15:32 And I saw Turtles. I saw the screening of Ninja Turtles. I don't know why he's clapping. I have no idea. Have you seen it already? He's in it. He's in it. He liked it.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Him and his cousin are in it. That's why he's clapping. It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's the worst. Turtles 3 is better. Shanghai Turtles is better. Yeah, it was. I see genuine anger in your face right now.
Starting point is 00:16:02 He's, yeah. You're alone in this room right now. He's, yeah. You're alone in this room right now. Sorry, follow your heart, bro. You're alone amongst hundreds. Let's face it, you can't go into that movie with very high expectations. Were you high when you saw it?
Starting point is 00:16:18 No. No? Okay. Do you ever get high? Yes. Yes. Okay, well that's another curious thing about you. But that's the one time. I gotta keep my wits about me. I'm watching the new Turtles movie. You should have got high.
Starting point is 00:16:34 You should have, like... Yeah, then you would have hated it if you'd gotten high. Fucking Turtles. I know reality when I don't see it. Yeah, I, you know I don't see it. Yeah, I see everything high, so when I get around to seeing Boyhead, I'm going to be high out of my mind.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Just like watching a kid grow up. Wait, Doug. Yes, sir. Did you like Lucy? You saw it too, right? I did like Lucy. It's nuts, but they get it over with in a reasonable amount of time. Scarlett Johansson rarely leaves
Starting point is 00:17:10 the frame. If she does, it's so you can see various animals shitting out babies in one delightfully disgusting sequence. It's just Luc Besson. It doesn't make any fucking sense. It's going to sell millions of tickets all over the world because you don't have to
Starting point is 00:17:27 be able to speak any language to understand that it is complete stupidity. But it is non-stop action and just crazy situations and cool actors. You know that the Asian dude is from Old Boy. He's the bad guy.
Starting point is 00:17:43 The main bad guy? The main Asian bad guy, yeah. He was my favorite part of it. He was fucking awesome. And you know that cop also must be famous in whatever country he's from. This movie's just built for an international audience. That country? That's what we're talking about?
Starting point is 00:17:57 That dude was French? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in the French progressive commercials or something. I don't know. But his name on the credits didn't have many consonants in it it didn't seem french to me oh but i don't know uh but yeah you liked it too tom i thought it was really cool i i was definitely like what is happening in the last 15 minutes or i was like i don't follow and then but i was still like it looks cool, I don't follow. But I was still like, it looks cool.
Starting point is 00:18:27 While I don't understand this, it looks really cool. And I'm enjoying not following what's going on. But I totally, yeah. And that guy's definitely French. Still fun to watch. And in the last line of the movie, he's kind of like, okay.
Starting point is 00:18:41 If you say so. Yeah. But Aaron, you did not care for it at all? It just, you know, it was... Better than Turtles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lucy's better than Turtles. How much better?
Starting point is 00:18:56 Eh, a smidge. Like a smidge, well, okay, wait. With God as my witness, I'm going to find a movie that you dislike more than Turtles. Yeah, Turtles was bad. This man in front deserves better. What's your name, sir? I don't give a shit. I'm such an asshole.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Kevin? Devin, okay. Thanks, Devin. Thanks for playing along. You didn't have to do anything. You just be ridiculed. Are you allowed to give spoilers? Are you allowed to talk spoilers? We try not to. What do you want to spoil?
Starting point is 00:19:32 Nothing. The end of the movie. Forget it. The end of the Turtles movie? I mean, like, no, no, Lucy. Like, if you want to experience God, look no further than the flash drive in your backpack. That's all I'll say. That sums up the movie? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:19:48 See, I didn't even bring God into it, really, but that's probably... Everybody sees it differently. Yeah. I saw it as a hot girl causing a lot of car accidents and shooting a lot of people in the face. I accepted Scarlett as my lord and savior that night, so... What else did I see?
Starting point is 00:20:10 I saw something else, didn't I, recently? Oh, I was watching on the HBO comedy channel, because the hotel has like 15 HBOs, and it's amazing how sometimes you can look at all 15 options and go, I don't want to watch any of this. And maybe there's too many choices. But I guess I'll go with The Leftovers. There's no way anybody's getting me to watch The Leftovers.
Starting point is 00:20:37 There's too many movies I haven't seen to watch that show about a few people disappeared. Nobody knows why, and they never plan on explaining it. But I saw on HBO Comedy a movie called The Last Kiss with Zach Braff and a bunch of other people. And it's, like, not funny at all. Like, it's a drama about infidelity and, like, maybe has one or two sort of humorous lines in the entire thing.
Starting point is 00:21:08 So they're asleep at the wheel there at HBO Comedy. They just see Braff's involved and they assume it's a laugh riot. They'll probably also show that latest Wizard of Oz movie on there because he was the voice of the monkey. Hey, everybody. I want to play a quick game that's not really a game. There's nothing at stake, but I enjoy doing it.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Let's do a little love-like, hate-like. I'll name a person who's in motion pictures, and then we each have to name, we take turns. We'll start with love. You have to name a movie that person's in that you love, then one that you like, and then the next round will do hate, and the final round will be hate-like.
Starting point is 00:22:00 That's movies that you hate yourself for liking. Jeez, I have so much anxiety right now. And you can pass once. And there's no winners or losers. So don't worry about that. And in honor of Guardians of the Galaxy being out and doing so well, I would like to go with the films of Mr. John C. Reilly. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Consistently amazing actor, but, you know, he still has to pay the bills, and you can't be in charge of everything, so he can't be in all perfect movies. But let's start with Aaron. What's a John C. Reilly movie that you love? I love Boogie you love? I love Boogie Nights.
Starting point is 00:22:48 I love it. That's one of the funniest performances ever that he gives in that movie. The way that he like especially when he's the scenes where he's acting in porn. So he's like a guy who's like he's this brilliant John C. Reilly actor
Starting point is 00:23:04 pretending to be a guy who can't act at all in pornography, but he still has a slightly different personality than he does when the cameras aren't rolling. And then he's also, is a magician. So the scenes where you see him doing magic and the stupid poses he's doing, that's what the, that Steve Carell, Burt Wonderstone movie should have been like
Starting point is 00:23:25 that should have been that those kind of magicians they kind of did that but then they backed off of it and it was it was weird what do you love Tom from the John C Reilly I was election love stepbrothers step Step Brothers very funny but I love I love in in Boogie Nights when
Starting point is 00:23:50 they have the the bench press he's like what do you bench and he's like why don't you say it first and he's like no just go ahead
Starting point is 00:23:58 he's like oh I used to bench that I bench more now that's the when they talk about squats yeah the funniest thing I've ever seen in a movie.
Starting point is 00:24:06 I'm just glaring at you because you don't seem to understand the concept of this. It's not, don't talk about what the last guy did. I already know,
Starting point is 00:24:12 but I'm still focused on fucking Boogie Nights. All right? Give me a break. But you picked a different movie though because you love... I did pick Step Brothers,
Starting point is 00:24:20 yes. Yeah, you want to get the word out on Step Brothers. It's a good movie. You should check it out. There's another actor in it. I don't know his name, but they work well together. And they have a lot of fun.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Matt, what do you got for love of John C. Reilly? I love Boogie Nights and Step Brothers. I can't think of any other. If that's how you're going to play this game, I will show you the door, sir. He gets it. I love those movies. And I can't think of any others. I don't even know one that I hate. Spoiler alert.
Starting point is 00:24:52 So you're just... What kind of a movie fan are you? Do you... Why don't you know John C. Reilly movies? Just because I'm on stage right now and I can't really think of anything. Really? You're just drawing, it's a panic blank?
Starting point is 00:25:10 No, it's just kind of like... Because there's no game here. Later I'm going to ask you things where you are going to have to worry about knowing the right answer. I'm going to have to tag in Devin. Oh my God, if Devin helps you, these guys are in trouble.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Maybe that's what we'll do. Maybe we'll give an audience partner for each of you during the Leonard Malden game. Because that's what I tell the guests backstage in the green room. I like to say everyone
Starting point is 00:25:43 out there in the audience knows how to play this game better than you. Have a good show. All right, so we're going to give, Matt gets a four-time pass. Yeah, I don't give those out very often. Only to people who have amnesia. Like when Charlie Baltimore was on the show, I didn't make her answer it. Okay, one person got that.
Starting point is 00:26:12 I would have, for love for me, I gotta go with, especially because of his performance in it, I love him in the motion picture Magnolia. Yeah. He is so good. The scene in the beginning where there's a lady that's had some sort of altercation in the home, and he comes in, and she's screaming at him, and he's, like, trying to calm her down.
Starting point is 00:26:35 It's like an acting class, how good he is in that scene, and how he sets up that character that early in the movie. So, anyway, I love Magnolia unreasonably because a lot of people don't like it when characters in a drama start singing the same song or when frogs start to fall from the sky. But those are two of the reasons I love it. And I wish that, what's his name,
Starting point is 00:27:00 Paul Thomas Anderson would go back to making movies like that where just crazy shit happens. And maybe he will. Maybe he will. You got something you like from John C. Reilly, Aaron? You said like? Like, yeah. I, uh, what?
Starting point is 00:27:16 Uh, yeah. I like... Do we need to get you partners at this point in the game? Nope. Nope. I like Talladega Nights. Yes, you did. Yay! Do we need to get you partners at this point in the game? Nope. Nope. I like Talladega Nights. Yes, you did.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Totally likable. I'm more of a Blades of Glory guy when it comes to Will Ferrell's sports comedies. And I like how dirty the basketball one was. What's that one called? High Five? Semi-Pro. Semi-Pro? High Five's in production right now.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Yes, yes. It should be. It should be the sequel to Borat's first movie. It should be. High Five! Tom, do you have one that you like? Walk fucking whatever, that one. Walk hard?
Starting point is 00:28:08 Yeah, walk hard. The Dewey Cox story? What? Walk hard, colon, the Dewey Cox story? Yeah, yeah, the Dewey Cox story. I think that might be what it's called. That's right, yeah. And I let him go on Talladega Nights,
Starting point is 00:28:21 colon, the legend of Ricky Bobby, or whatever it's called. The ballad. You guys are more sticklerier than me. I like it, but again, I like his choice more. I just wanted to say that. You can take the same choice. I'm just trying to get it out there that John C. Reilly does a lot of great work.
Starting point is 00:28:40 And if you haven't seen any of his films, check them out. And here's the ones to avoid. Oh, wait, I've got to do my like. My like is... Do I get to do one? I thought of one. Oh, you did. That you liked or loved. Hard Eight. You know this Hard Eight movie? Yeah, Hard Eight. That's what you pull out. Yeah, I like that. He's been in
Starting point is 00:28:57 some of the biggest movies. You pull out this tiny, amazing movie. That's exactly right. That's what I pulled out. A four-hander. That's all I found in my pocket. We call it a four-hander in the business because there's only like four main characters. Gwyneth Paltrow's in it though, right?
Starting point is 00:29:11 Paltrow plays what was supposed to be the title role. The movie was supposed to be called Sydney and the studio wanted something to sound edgier so they went with Heartache.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Right. Or not studio, financiers. What men from Seinfeld? That's a great movie. That's a great movie. That's a great movie. Yeah. I put that in your love column.
Starting point is 00:29:27 Sorry. Maybe by the time it comes around again, you can think of one that you like. I'm one question behind at all times. My like is a movie called Cedar Rapids that I thought was an underrated movie because it's got lots of funny people in it, but I campaigned for him to get me campaigning,
Starting point is 00:29:45 my idea campaigning. My idea campaigning. I just talked about it a lot. He should have got a Best Supporting Actor nomination for that movie. John C. Reilly's amazing in that movie. Is that with Ed Helms? Yes, that one is fucking amazing. Especially fun for comedians that are in fucking hotels all the time. We see those conventions. We're in the same hotel
Starting point is 00:30:01 with people who are at a convention. We know what that's all about. He's amazing in that movie. So good. When he's swimming around in the fucking pool with the top of the garbage thing on his head. God damn it. And Anne Heche, her body is amazing for, I think she's 72 years old.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Or one of her lives or personalities. You got a John C. Reilly movie you hate? Or just one that he was in, you know? He could have popped in there. It's not his fault that it's terrible. Aaron? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Yeah, I hate watching him in Chicago. Shut up. Wow, I gave you an opening to just be nice to John C. Reilly, and you fucking torpedoed him directly. Musical theater majors here in Pittsburgh. Jeez. He's certainly not what I would picture for the role, but I thought he did a good job in that movie.
Starting point is 00:30:56 He's only got one song. I know, but I love him so much. He did the finger thing that everybody does in every production of it. Yeah. God, I hate it. Okay. Tom? Nothing.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I got nothing. Pass. Tom passes. Pass. And we're back to Matt with his like. Yeah. Part eight. I wasn't crazy about the walk hard one.
Starting point is 00:31:22 I really wasn't. Okay. So you passed on like, and you have hate for walk hard one. I really wasn't. Okay, so you passed on like and you have hate for walk hard. Hatred in your heart. And then I love that gag in that movie though where every time he tries a harder drug.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Yeah, I do like that part. Tim Meadows really gives a hard speech about not doing it and then does it with him. Okay, I do like that movie. That is my line. Okay, that's in your line columns. Now my line. Okay, that's a different column. So now you've got to come up
Starting point is 00:31:48 with a hate for later. My hate is past because I looked at his filmography and even something like Vampire's Assistant or whatever that was called. Even something like that, I can't hate him for it.
Starting point is 00:32:04 And he always shows up and does something like that, I can't hate him for it, you know, and he always shows up and does a good job, I think. So that's my pass on this one. And is there something that you hate yourself for liking, Aaron? You haven't passed at all, so you can still pass. I should have passed on hate.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Shit. That's sort of the message of my show and my entire life, is pass on hate because... Shit. That's sort of the message of my show and my entire life is pass on hate. I thought I had to pick a hate. By that I mean pass it on to someone else because it's what makes us feel alive.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Well, I hate for liking other parts of Chicago, so... Yeah. Alright. Yeah. Do you have one? I hate for liking other parts of Chicago. So yeah. All right. Yeah. Um, do you have one Tom?
Starting point is 00:32:50 Yeah. I mean, I kind of hate like a billion dollar movie. Is it because their shit is just so weird. It just fucking creeps you out. No, it's just like, it's not at, you can't watch and be like,
Starting point is 00:33:07 this is a well-constructed movie. It's not like... If you don't go to somebody who's not into them, go, you should check out this movie. It's a good movie. You're going to enjoy it. It's fucking bananas. But he is hilarious as Takedo.
Starting point is 00:33:23 I think. Lucy makes perfect sense by comparison. Fuck yeah. And is very pleasant to watch. Lucy is spelled out like a fucking children's show compared to a billion dollar movie.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Yeah. I gotta say, John C. Reilly, Steve Brule thing creeps me out too. It's hilarious. It's so, it's so weirdly hilarious though.
Starting point is 00:33:43 It's weird. I don't, I can only have so much of that in my life, you know. For your health. It's amazing. It's so weirdly hilarious, though. I can only have so much of that in my life. For your health. It's amazing. He's so good. His improv skill... Can you imagine if he had been
Starting point is 00:33:54 an SNL cast member or something? It would have been just... Everything he would have been in. He would be perfect for that, but fortunately, he's gone the pretty distinguished actor route. been in. Yeah, he'd be perfect for that, but, you know, fortunately he's gone the pretty distinguished actor route. Yeah, no, yeah. I didn't mean
Starting point is 00:34:10 that to be funny. I'm just saying that, like, either path would have been pretty awesome. He's so talented. I'm not suggesting he quit what's going on and try to be on a fucking sketch show. Like, I don't like these movies, man. I want to do this sketch stuff, but he has, like, the you can just see he would be a natural at it.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Did you ever see Wreck-It Ralph, Matt? No, I never saw it. Not even on a plane? Wreck-It Ralph? Yeah, Wreck-It Ralph. No, I never even heard of that. Oh. You know what?
Starting point is 00:34:42 When I asked you to be on the show, that would have been a good thing to bring up. I've never heard of Wreck-It Ralph. You should have asked me that first. Because that's really all I really want to talk about. All right. All the time. Do you know about it? We'll get this motherfucker up here.
Starting point is 00:34:57 He knows about Wreck-It Ralph. Wreck-It Ralph is good. I was just bringing it up because it was interesting. It didn't come up for anybody's. And my hate myself for liking is Never Been Kissed. That Drew Barrymore rom-com where she's like 50 trying to pretend to be
Starting point is 00:35:13 22 or whatever. I don't know what's going on there. She's back in high school. It's like the 21 Jump Street lady style. She falls in love with her teacher and shit. It's fucking crazy. But I think
Starting point is 00:35:29 John C. Reilly's like her editor and he just yells at her all the time. When it's on cable though, I watch it. That's one that I'll watch. That's a fun game right now. Aaron, rom-com that you'll watch. You're embarrassed to say it in front
Starting point is 00:35:45 of men. Rom-com I would... Yeah, I'll give you another one. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. I'll watch the shit out of that movie. Ten Things I Hate About You. Oh! I totally redeemed
Starting point is 00:36:03 myself. Tom, do you have one? All of them. I don't know. You son of a bitch. I love love, you guys. I don't fucking know. I'm hungover, man.
Starting point is 00:36:24 You don't have to come up on... No, I do. I watch them all the time. And I would actually be like, no, I don't watch that shit. Yeah, I watch it all the time. I can't think of one. Are we the worst guests ever? Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Well, I mean, you know, you're fun to talk to, but this part is like we're watching a science fiction movie about adult males that just had their brains removed. Like, just any rom-com, there must be one that you, you know... Sleepless in Seattle. It's good, it's good it's good hey Matt you have
Starting point is 00:37:07 and tell us your thought process alright there's a wait wait wait you have until I get back cause I have to
Starting point is 00:37:16 go get my phone you have until I get back to tell me the name of the movie but just start describing it to everyone
Starting point is 00:37:22 alright so Keanu Reeves lives in one time, and Sandra Bullock lives in the future or something. But then there's this mailbox, and they keep getting mail to each other. It's like a time machine. Like, they got the mailbox up to 88 miles per hour
Starting point is 00:37:43 or some shit. And they start falling in love, time machine. Like they got the mailbox up to 88 miles per hour or some shit. And they start falling in love. And they never think that they're crazy or anything. They're just like, you know, this shit's actually happening. And Speed 2. Let the games begin!
Starting point is 00:38:17 That's when I realized I didn't have my phone was when I was checking to see if we were good for time. Or I wanted to check, and then it wasn't there. You son of a bitch in the front row. This guy brought a Summer of Blood poster. The less said about that, the better.
Starting point is 00:38:42 I haven't heard from Owner since the festival. I hope he's okay. So, gentlemen, please go into the audience and select from this dazzling array of name tags who you'd like to play for. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. All right, we're back. Who are you guys playing for? Wow. Let's start with Matt. You've got a very large
Starting point is 00:39:15 name tag. I'm just playing for Devin because I know he's going to have to come up here anyways. So I've got this thing with tons of movies on it. Yeah, the Guardians of the Galaxy quest for Camelot-like love, actually. A Devin D. Decker build-a-title. It was big. It was bigger than the rest.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Yeah, good choice, good choice. And like you said, he's going to be your partner later. That came out weird he's gonna be your lover is what I meant to say it's like a romcom you love you know
Starting point is 00:39:53 you're scared to tell your friends about Tom who you playing for I forgot to get his name is it on his name tag is it Dave what is it is it a poster for the movie Dave yes Is it Dave?
Starting point is 00:40:07 What is it? Is it a poster for the movie Dave? Yes. Oh, yeah, that's probably what he was going for then. Also a movie that I'll sit and watch and enjoy. That's a rom-com, sort of, right? Mm-hmm. All right.
Starting point is 00:40:24 And looks like Aaron got himself a new toy. Dude, I had to grab the light bright. Look at you as a Polly Pocket figure. Look at you. You're adorable. Doug loves movies. Look at that. That is nice.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Playing for Laura. Laura. I got a tutorial on how to, their cell phones are in here. Their cell phones are inside of this lighting, lighting it up. For reals? Yeah, and I was like, peace, thanks.
Starting point is 00:40:51 You're just going to run off with their phones? But I just plugged it in, and I'll take calls. Don't worry. You really did plug that in. That's awesome. I plugged this mother in. But listeners, don't bring shit that needs to be plugged in. There's not a lot of comedy clubs like the Improv that have six sockets on the stage.
Starting point is 00:41:09 They tell you when you get here, hey, during your headliner set, if you want to get on the internet, you can just set up your laptop and any other devices. We've got plenty of plugs on the stage. I guess if a band plays or something, they need more of them. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:28 So let's see how we're doing on time. Make some important decisions. Let's start with a game that I like to call, How Much Did This Shit Make? I like to localize it. And this one, you guys, how are you with numbers? Do you know what numbers are and can say them out loud? I know numbers, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Then you're all going to have an answer on this one. Nobody is going to need to pass. But I would fall off my chair laughing if someone did. I'll admit that I do struggle with numbers. In this game, we're going to guess you guys are going to guess how much money a movie made at the North American box office during its entire run according to boxofficemojo.com
Starting point is 00:42:16 and I always like to pick movies that are relevant to an area and supposedly this film was made here in Pittsburgh, and I don't hold that against you guys. Maybe you'll be mad at me for choosing this movie, but I went with a film called
Starting point is 00:42:34 Bringing Down the House with Steve Martin and Queen Latifah, which, in success, I blame on having to sit through a lot of other white honky meets awesome black lady movies. And so I'm not a particularly big fan of that movie. So let's start with Aaron. Closest to the total in millions of dollars without going over. How much do you think bringing down
Starting point is 00:43:06 the house made with the great Eugene Levy? Use your computer, man. I'm typing it in my light bright. 40 million. Okay, Aerith says 40 million. The guy Eric says 40 million. The guy over there says yeah and then does some fast clapping.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Like he's watching the opening of Friends. Tom, what do you think? 33. 33? Interesting. That's not helpful to either of you guys did I see it? did you ask me that? no no no did you?
Starting point is 00:43:49 no I've seen moments of it flipping through the channels it looks awful it's really bad it has the go to I'm wearing my hat to the side I'm wearing my hat to the side scene.
Starting point is 00:44:08 I'm down, too. You know, like that. It's horrible. Matt? $65 million. People are blown away by that. They're going to really lose it when they hear the actual answer. Because Tom says 33, he's out.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Aaron says 40, he's out. Matt says 65, and he wins. Because bringing down the house made $132.7 million dollars. That's the thing about Price is Right is that the amounts never vary that wildly. You said 600. It's 132 million dollars. Yeah, so Matt won our first game. See how easy it's done? Wow. Sorry, Dave. Oh, boy. You guys did so great.
Starting point is 00:45:21 You did so great in that game that I feel confident in your ability to play a round of Last Man Stanton. I don't really. I feel like Matt's going to be terrible at it. Thank you. Here's the idea of this game, Matt. Let me just talk to you for a second. We're going to name films by a particular director or actor
Starting point is 00:45:48 and so the idea is to have to be able to come up with a lot of them and in your life of apparently not paying too much attention to the cinema is there an actor or director whose work you admire that you could say name five movies that that person was involved in? I think I could name five from Richard Linklater.
Starting point is 00:46:13 From who? Richard Linklater? Richard Linklater? You could name five of his films? You can? Yeah, sure. I was hoping he'd say James Bond. Do you live in a prison in Austin, Texas? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:28 I love that guy. I love that guy. But how many movies do you think he's made? Maybe 15? Maybe a little less. Yeah. So in this game, that would be a tough one. Yeah, so I'd be good at it.
Starting point is 00:46:40 All right. I'll take that challenge. All right. So that means we'll start with you and then we'll go to Tom and then to Aaron and then to me. And yeah, you have to name a Richard Linklater movie. Just one at a time. One at a time. I forgot he was a person.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Pick a good one. You want me to start? Do you know who that is? You know who it is, Aaron. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead, Matt.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Name one. Slacker. Slacker, that's correct. Which has always amused me because the movie's about a bunch of different people that you meet and why isn't it called Slackers?
Starting point is 00:47:27 Because that was another movie. Later. Tom? Withdrawal? I don't know. What do you say at this point when you don't know? I was worried about Aaron not knowing and I totally missed
Starting point is 00:47:49 but like I don't even know who we're talking about. Well, we can't tell you without naming movies, so it's kind of hard. He used to host Match Game, Tom, remember? I don't know. That was Gene, remember? I don't know. That was Gene Rayburn.
Starting point is 00:48:07 I don't know. Don't say any answers, you guys. But that's pretty funny. So let's just say Matt won that game. Thank you. Thank you. The cunning strategy of picking a director who
Starting point is 00:48:25 only he knows all of his work. I'm like a Doug Loves Movies shark. Can I try that first? You know, there's Bad News Bears and Days of Confused. Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The before trilogy, Sunset. Yeah, before and after Sunset and Beyond Midnight.
Starting point is 00:48:42 And then, of course, in the multiplex right across the street, we've discussed it since I arrived. That's true. Boyhood is playing over there. I had a couple. Good. I'm not like an idiot.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Okay, good. Wow, I'm glad you're relieved that you're not an absolute idiot because you knew two of them and you said it out loud next to a man who didn't know any. Well, then, you get what I was saying? I'm a fucking idiot? That's what we're doing right now? New voice.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Alright, I think this is going to be very interesting to try to accomplish this game because I think that no matter what one person we pick, there's going to be someone on this panel who might not be familiar with any of their work. Like, let's think of somebody that's really big.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Wait, hang on, hang on, you guys. Let's throw the first one out here. What do you guys think of Michael J. Fox? Could you name some movies that he's in? Sure. Tom, think about it for a second. I think I could name, like, a trilogy. Tom, think about it for a second.
Starting point is 00:49:43 I think I could name like a trilogy. So you have three answers right there. Yeah, well, we'll do them one at a time. So when it's your turn, when it's your turn, go for it. Matt gets to go first. Any Michael J. Fox movie? The Secret to My Success. Tom? Back to my success.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Tom? Back to the Future. Eric? Back to the Future Part II. I know how this game is played, Tom. I'm not going to do a hard one. I'm going to say Doc Hollywood. Matt.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Teen Wolf. Is he in this? Thanks for reminding me of a movie that he is in. Alright. Back to the Future Part 3. Good at this. Aaron. The Frighteners.
Starting point is 00:51:07 I love it. I'm going to go with... Midnight Madness. I hated to use that one so early, but, you know. Oh, I just thought of another one. Matt. Poison Ivy. You might have to look it up. It was a TV movie, but it counts.
Starting point is 00:51:41 I don't know. She gave you the matumba. I did like the way you said it. But you very confidently said it's a TV movie, but it counts. Because the opposite turns out to be true. Can I go again? I didn't know. I will totally let you go again. Out of the Blue?
Starting point is 00:51:58 What's that? It's like the sequel to Up and... No, that's the Cheech and Chong movie. Can we look this shit up? I know I've seen him in some art movie, and I think it's called Out of the Bloom. I don't think so. But thank you for playing.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Tom? Was he in Teen Wolf 2 at all? Nope. Maybe a flashback. Or a picture. You get residuals on a flashback. Was he at all, you guys? I don't think so. Whatever, guys. It's like a nerd alarm.
Starting point is 00:52:31 No, no, no, no, no. You played hard and long. Yeah, I mean, I really... I think you did a good job. I feel good about what I did. Sorry. That's okay. Aaron, don't say them out loud, you guys.
Starting point is 00:52:51 It's not your turn yet. I just went brain dead. Light bright can't help you? It's emitting this fume. Do you smell that? Yeah. Yes, I do. How about, oh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Mars Attacks. Mars Attacks. Nice. And now let me ask the audience, what was the one he was in with Joan Jett? That's what I was going to say. Light of Day. Yeah, I couldn't think of the name of it, Light of Day.
Starting point is 00:53:25 And there's probably not too many more, but yell them out. American President. Yeah, that's what I thought of when he showed the Dave poster, but I couldn't remember what it was called. American President. Bright Lights. Greed? Greedy. Greedy.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Casualties of War. That's a good one. Life with Mikey Bright Lights Big City there's always so many more that we can think of I fucking love it but I won that game The Hard Way, yes I thought a Chris Hardwick fan
Starting point is 00:54:00 was in the audience Hardwick! Hardwick points. All right, you guys. Are you ready? You've gone through these brutal exercises. I think you're doing great. The audience loves you.
Starting point is 00:54:16 They love all of you. Somebody's going to win Schmovie, the board game. Woo! Is your name tag in contention? No. Nope, and you were still excited for whoever's going to win Schmoovie the board game. Let's play the Leonard Moulton game.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Matt, I guess you're still sort of the champion of what we've done so far. No, I'm champion. So we'll let you pick the first category. What are we playing? We're playing the Leonard Maltin game. The what? Leonard Maltin's a film critic. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:07 I think what happened was to kind of research for this show, you listened to the episode that Joey Diaz was on. I did. And that was an interesting episode because, you know, you don't tell Joey he's wrong about anything. So the games were a little...
Starting point is 00:55:23 I was a little less strict with Joey than I am with some of the other players so today is going to be a bloodbath for you my friend but we'll talk you through it the whole audience knows how it works so they'll be gentle you get to pick a category
Starting point is 00:55:47 would you like as suggested by Armo15 on Twitter in honor of where we are this particular day the category is called Pit Stains and it's movies that took place in Pittsburgh that Leonard Maltin
Starting point is 00:56:03 gave two stars or less. Yep, a town that's even proud of their stains. Or Penny Dreadful, that's Penny Marshall movies that Leonard gave two stars or less. And then your third option is from Yousonic. Someone named Yousonic on Twitter, E-U-sonic,
Starting point is 00:56:31 suggested evacuate your vowels. And that's movies with titles with no vowels in them. Yeah, they're out there. And just to give you an example, Jim Cotta has several vowels in it. Yeah, they're out there. And just to give you an example, Jim Cotta has several vowels in it. Thank you for that example. Which ones of those do you like?
Starting point is 00:57:00 Pittsburgh, Penny Marshall, or no vowels in the title? Obviously, we've got to go with Pit Stance. Yes, we do. Play into the crowd. I like it. This movie is from 2003. I'm going to give you a bunch of clues and I'm going to tell you how many actors Leonard lists that are in this movie and then you're going to tell me how many
Starting point is 00:57:17 names you think it'll take you to discern the title of the movie reading from the bottom of the list going up. so when you bid lower you're taking away those top names Leonard gave this movie two stars from 2003 he says the lead performer this movie is wasted in this crude film he also says it's like a big-screen sitcom and he says
Starting point is 00:57:45 one of the lead actors in the movie co-executive produced now you may be saying to yourself right now these clues are of no help to me and that's exactly how it's supposed to go everything's going according to plan and then
Starting point is 00:57:59 Leonard Maltin lists 11 names in the cast of this film. So how many do you think it would take you to figure it out? I think I'd need... Matt. I think I'd need... Full Charon. I think it's... Sorry.
Starting point is 00:58:15 It's okay. Just want to get your name out there. I think I would need eight names. Eight names. Strong opening bid for a confused player. I'm winning. Tom, what do you think about that? Can I challenge him to name it?
Starting point is 00:58:31 You could say name it, and he'll get the eight names, or you could bid seven names and be thought of as more of a man. Seven. All right. Fucking Christ. I didn't know. All right. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Is it always this hostile to do these things? Not to Joey Diaz. It's amazing to think about how many movies, like I feel like all I've done is watch movies and then I feel like just sense of paralysis up here on stage. All right. Fuck it. Seven.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Aaron. up here on stage. All right, fuck it, seven. Aaron? Six, six. See, that's how the game is played. It's back around to you, Matt. I would probably only need five names to name this game. Tom, now he's just being dumb. Go ahead and drop the hammer.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Name it. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to get it. All right. Remember, audience, once again, that just because these guys don't know the answer doesn't mean you need to say it out loud. As I poke myself in the eye
Starting point is 00:59:45 with my tiny straws. Your five names. Let me give you the clues again. I think you're going to like these. 2003. Two stars from Leonard. The lead character is just wasted in this crude movie.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Yeah. And one of the leads co-executive produced and a third thing that I can't find. It's like a sitcom. Jesus. It's Devin. He's like my Newman.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Thanks for your help Devin and your five names are Steve Harris, Betty White Michael Rosenbaum Missy Pyle and Angus T. Jones the great Angus T. Jones was in this. From 2003.
Starting point is 01:00:50 What do you think it is, Matt? I can't even think of one movie that came out in 2003. Not one. Let me think about where I was. Think about something that took place in Pittsburgh. Oh, there you go. Pitstain? I don't think you're going to come up with this,
Starting point is 01:01:10 and it's going to be a shame. Okay. Well, I'm just going to say the only movie I'm thinking of in 2003 was in Hawaii. That one with Owen Wilson. Okay. Give it a shot. You never know.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Sometimes your first instincts are right even though you know it takes place in Hawaii the second Star Wars I can't fuck I don't know that wouldn't be right if that were right I wouldn't accept that answer unfortunately the film is the already previously discussed right if that were right? I wouldn't accept that answer. Unfortunately, the film is the already previously discussed
Starting point is 01:01:49 Bringing Down the House. Y'all didn't know it. That's cold as ice, man. That's not that. You cold, Doug. You cold, Doug. You cold, Doug. Tom Segura's on the board with one point, you guys.
Starting point is 01:02:13 See? Thinking about changing the name of this game to Anyone Can Win. Wait, wait. Can I ask you something? Sure. Do I get a point for that cuz I challenged him I do that's what you're on the board man on the board you're on the board with one point all right fucking Jesus I on the board can also I'm sorry I did have not previously stated that we're playing to two points okay I thought you're halfway home.
Starting point is 01:02:48 Alright, I'll just suffer through this. Alright, go ahead. Let's do this. Don't suffer. Just tell us what you need. No, no. I thought you needed another drink or something. I'm drinking coffee. Who's coming to see these guys at... What time is the show tonight?
Starting point is 01:03:03 Seven? Eight? Yeah, come to is the show tonight seven eight seven yeah come to our midnight show tonight dom what time is the show tonight seven yes i just don't thank you not tom they do sound awful close uh but who's coming back to see tom tonight anybody coming i bet you there's a few yeah see i knew there'd knew there'd be some. Alright, thank you. I've seen your sets this weekend, both you guys. Very funny. Aaron did a set on my show yesterday.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Very funny. Yeah. You guys are like TBS. Very funny. Very funny. And my show, Douglas Movies, is like TNT. Characters welcome. USA. Fuck, I always fuck that up. I always get the wrong fucking network with those slogans.
Starting point is 01:03:51 And now TNT, TNT now goes, what's it say? It knows drama, boom. They just threw a boom in there with no sound, just in big letters. TNT knows drama, boom. Damn. Those are horrible slogans. All of them are horrible.
Starting point is 01:04:08 Like what? We're going to be watching SVU? Where did she touch you? Boom. All right. Aaron gets to go first in this next round. And then we're coming back
Starting point is 01:04:23 at you, Tom. So be ready. Aaron gets to pick the category, though. He gets to go first in this next round, and then we're coming back at you, Tom, so be ready. Aaron gets to pick the category, though. He gets to steer this ship for a second. Last birthday, he celebrated a Sunday, so I wanted to... That sentence
Starting point is 01:04:40 didn't come out that bad when I flipped two of the words. He's an older guy. Maybe he did celebrate with a sundae. Because it was his birthday. Martin Sheen celebrated a birthday one week ago today. And, yeah. So, the films of Martin Sheen. Or, laser with a Z on Twitter.
Starting point is 01:05:01 And laser is spelled, in fact, with an S. So, I do not understand that handle at all. Laser with a Z suggested Into the Storm, and that of course is movies where Halle Berry has sex. I thought that one would go over
Starting point is 01:05:22 pretty good. And a category that's always hated, never picked. I should just delete it. Who's Your Daddy? And it's movies that have incest in them. It should at least be like incest in Indiana. It's Who's Your Daddy? But anyway, it's all incest movies,
Starting point is 01:05:46 so it's probably European. Which one... Which one do you like? I think we should go with... Cliber. What's the Halle Berry getting naked one? Halle Berry has sex. We should do that, right?
Starting point is 01:06:05 Into the Storm. We should totally do Into the Storm. Okay. We should totally, yeah. Okay. Let's do it. The year is 2001. Three and a half stars from Leonard for this movie.
Starting point is 01:06:18 He says that it's a challenging film. He also says that it won an Oscar. This movie provides meaningful and plausible catharsis. Yeah, that's a fantastic clue if you've seen this movie. Eight names, Aaron. How many can you get it in? Yeah, that's a fantastic clue if you've seen this movie. Eight names, Aaron. How many can you get it in? We'll do...
Starting point is 01:06:57 Five. He says five, Tom. Four. Alright, now, we forgot to do this. I was going to let you guys have partners. Oh, fuck. So, yeah. But, Matt.
Starting point is 01:07:15 One name. Consult with Devin. Oh, he's just saying it. He just wants one name. This is crazy. Call me maybe. Aaron, what are you going to do with that? He says he can name it in one name.
Starting point is 01:07:29 Zero names. Oh, boy. I got to do something. All right, Tom, I wish it wouldn't come to this. But you can challenge him and hope he gets it wrong. Or, if you think you know what the movie is, you can say a negative one name. And that means you have to name the movie and the top billed person, performance, performer,
Starting point is 01:07:57 in the movie. Yeah, I remember the movie. So do you think you know what the movie is? Yeah, but I think I don't remember the title. Oh, that's a bad place to be. That's a bad position to be in. So you're probably just going to have to ask Aaron to name it. Hope he's thinking of the wrong movie.
Starting point is 01:08:13 And if he's not, he gets a point. But we're still playing because you each will have one point. Negative one. Damn it! You're going to let me stay in it? Alright Now we go to Matt And he gets to say negative two
Starting point is 01:08:31 You have to name the top two billed people Yeah, negative two What? Negative two So now Aaron Has to think if he can go negative three on this one. Seems like there's not a person in the room that doesn't know the answer. I don't know the answer.
Starting point is 01:08:53 I haven't looked at my screen for a few seconds. Aaron? I'm trying to remember. No matter what happens here, I think the game will still keep going because Tom can't really jump in on this at this point. Maybe he can. We'll see. I cannot name three.
Starting point is 01:09:12 Do you think he can name the top two in the right order? I think it's possible. Wow. Yeah, he's going to have to. It's good to have Devin on your side. He's got that loud clap. Loud clap down. I think he's got it because I can't name three.
Starting point is 01:09:31 All right. So let's hear it. You're going to name the movie, then the top two people in the correct order. And I'm not going to say yes or no until I've heard all of it. And the order goes second person. No, tell us the top build person, then the second build. Alright, I think we're talking about Monsters Ball with
Starting point is 01:09:49 Billy Bob Thornton and Holly Berry. That is correct. I've never even seen it. I've never even seen it. I've never even seen it. I don't think there's been a wilder swing in ability in the games on this show than right there, than you suddenly pulling that out. Doug, who is third bill?
Starting point is 01:10:17 I can't name a third John C. Reilly movie, but Monster's Ball stars Billy Bob Thornton and Oscar winner Halle Berry. Who's third bill, Doug? Yeah, who is third bill? That would be Peter Boyle. Then Heath Ledger, Sean Combs,
Starting point is 01:10:36 Most Deaf. Both those guys, those aren't their names anymore. Yasin Bey is all lowercase you guys do not fuck it up alright so that means that Matt is on the board as well that means he has a point good to be here
Starting point is 01:10:59 you guys aren't going to believe it if we get to a tiebreaker because you're going to have to learn more confusing shit. I'm trying. I'm trying. You guys are doing great, I think. I'm bummed. This is terrific. I knew that one, and I feel like that's definitely the only one that I'm going to know. Well, it's hard when you don't know the rules
Starting point is 01:11:21 because I didn't know you could do negative. I didn't know you could do zero. So I was, you know, it's tough. Yeah. Now you know. Bell, Biv, DeVoe. Who gets to go first this time? What happened that last time?
Starting point is 01:11:38 Those guys did beat it out. Okay, so Tom goes first, and then it goes to Aaron, because he challenged Matt. Tom, would you like A Prairie Home Companion, which, of course, is films that have bestiality in them? Well, then. Begins with... I almost said it the wrong way. The Big C, which is not as scary as you think.
Starting point is 01:12:04 It's just movies that begin with C, the letter C. Ooh, that's awful. Or, spoiler alert, and that's movies where someone is run over by a car. So there's probably a lack of a spoiler alert when they got hit. Three of my favorite things. It's hard.
Starting point is 01:12:31 You do love C words. I love C words. Bestiality and senseless. People getting hit with cars. Senseless death. I'm going to go with the C, the C word. I want to go with the C the C word I want to go the movies with C yeah
Starting point is 01:12:46 alright well you've narrowed it down considerably because you know this movie is it's like for instance it's not Mission Impossible
Starting point is 01:12:54 right Matt it's not donors are the worst at running games yeah it's not Mission Impossible 2 let's narrow it down you guys it's not Mission Impossible. Donors are the worst at running games. Yeah, it's not Mission Impossible 2. Let's narrow it down, you guys. It's not Ghost Protocol.
Starting point is 01:13:08 All right. Is it The Shining? Three and a half. No pre-guessing. Three and a half stars from Leonard for this movie that he calls first rate, which the three and a half stars would indicate also that he liked it a great deal.
Starting point is 01:13:23 He says it is based on a book, and... Wow. What else can I say? Oh, it includes a brilliantly nuanced performance, this movie. And it begins with the letter C. What year?
Starting point is 01:13:44 The year is 2005. Devin, I will murder you. It's just being helpful. Okay. Okay. So, and he lists nine names, eight names, let's go with eight names. How many can you get it in, Tom?
Starting point is 01:14:13 Seven. Okay. I should have given the advice before the game, you know, first guy should just take all the names. Okay, well, that's good to know. No, I'm sorry. I'll do that in the future. Can I backtrack?
Starting point is 01:14:33 He said seven. Yeah, he said seven, Aaron. I have to do six. What are you going to do with that, Matt? I'm going to have to go five. Uh, Tom? What are you going to do with that Matt? I'm going to have to go five Tom Four Arab Name it
Starting point is 01:14:58 Oh boy I do smell a three way tire coming The three way tire is roaring down the tracks at us I do smell a three-way tire coming. The three-way tire is roaring down the tracks at us. Devin, why are you standing up? Devin's out of control right now. You lost that bucket of beer, Devin. Holy hell.
Starting point is 01:15:24 Nothing says I'm an adult more than screaming I'm an adult still got it Doug still got it okay I think I've been laughing a lot of this episode I apologize to the listeners try not to be that self indulgent
Starting point is 01:15:41 it's so funny lol oh the checks are coming out Self-indulgent. It's so funny. LOL. LOL. Oh, the checks are coming out. That's why Devin was throwing the shit on the floor. This shit is wrong. Okay, so where the hell are we at?
Starting point is 01:16:00 So who has to name it? What was the last bid? You think I remember? I think you said three. He said four. I to name it? Well, what was the last bid? You think I remember? I think you said three. It was, he said four, I said name it. Okay, so Tom gets four names. Are we sure about where we're at? Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:14 Do you like where you're at? No, yeah. You get four names. I'll give you the clues again. The movie begins with the letter C, so that's kind of fun when you're trying to think of it, just start making C sounds. Right.
Starting point is 01:16:24 And something fun for you to do Catman Three and a half stars from Leonard on a scale of bomb to four stars he calls it first rate which is redundant he also says that it has a brilliantly nuanced performance
Starting point is 01:16:41 in it and that it's based on a book. And out of the eight names, you get four, and they are Mark Pellegrino. It's really what it says, you guys. Jill Avion. I'm saying the real names. No, just that first one was real.
Starting point is 01:17:05 Mark Pellegrino. Then Amy Ryan was in this movie. I like her. Bob Balaban, he's always great. Who? Bob Balaban. Oh, yeah, he's good. And Bruce Greenwood was also in this film.
Starting point is 01:17:20 Oh, now I got it. Yeah. So, Just Name a Movie begins with C, and hopefully it'll be the right one. And if it isn't, we'll have it. Yeah. So, just name a movie that begins with C and hopefully it'll be the right one. And if it isn't, we'll have a three-way tie, which will be very exciting. So the audience actually would prefer if you get it wrong.
Starting point is 01:17:35 Sorry to disappoint you. You think you got it? You think you got it? I think I do. Really? Yep. Oh, I'm so excited. You cut the creme de... Wait, I'm sorry. What got it? I think I do. Really? Yep. Oh, I'm so excited.
Starting point is 01:17:49 Wait, I'm sorry. What was it? You heard it. Was that right? No, no. What was it? I can't give it away, so I'm going and This is stupid. Stupid.
Starting point is 01:18:20 Confessions of Wait, you can't stumble onto it by just saying a bunch of words, because those are all not a title. The motion picture is called Capote. Capote. Capote. I gotta say, that does have a brilliantly nuanced performance. I agree with that assessment.
Starting point is 01:18:43 It's actually good. Amazing actor, rest in peace and all that. And we have... brilliantly nuanced performance. I agree with that assessment. It's actually good. No, amazing actor. Rest in peace and all that. And we have, but we, sorry, we have to move on from our Philip Seymour Hoffman tribute to We've Got a Three-Way Tie, you guys. Had to pull the power play, Tom.
Starting point is 01:19:06 That was gangster as shit, man. Shimmy, shimmy, y'all. No nerds laughing at that. Okay, Matt, we're going to start with you. What are we doing? You'll find out. We're starting with you, Matt, and then we're going to Aaron,
Starting point is 01:19:23 and then to Tom, and this is, it's time for Asparagus P. Some dude on Twitter named Asparagus P suggests when I say we, I mean me. Here we go. I'm going to read the entire review by Mr. Maltin and the year and then we start the bidding everyone should know the title of the film at that point
Starting point is 01:19:54 yes you should know the title I'm confident that all three of you will know the title of the film but then you start bidding based on how many negative names you think you'll need you're already going straight to negative you can start at zero if you wish if you want to play that way
Starting point is 01:20:11 I think you do you don't even get to go first, Matt's going first you can start at zero if you want to but it leaps into the negatives immediately from there. And see how many negative names take you to get it. And everyone in the audience is going to know it, so bite your tongues, hold on to your butts. Here we go. Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1984 that he calls the first multi-million dollar
Starting point is 01:20:47 flaky paranormal investigators a trio of flaky paranormal investigators who go into business flushing out ghosts and spirits in New York City and find that their business is booming TNT. Engagingly offbeat, even subdued at times, with the flippant personality of one person nicely contrasting Richard Edlund's eye-popping special effects. Great fun all the way. Written by two dudes. Followed by a sequel
Starting point is 01:21:25 and an animated TV series. Matt Leonard lists nine names. How many names do you think it'll take you? Negative five. Hold up. Now, here's something we need to talk about. I've got something.
Starting point is 01:21:53 I think you have a different problem, Tom. I'm going to tell you what my problem is right now. Okay. Is that if Matt successfully names this movie in negative five names, that will make him an automatic entrant into the Tournament of Championships I think I can I think I can I don't know I think I can all right but Tom what's your beef that was my that was I was thinking that too but then he has what I want to make I want to get clarification. Yes, again, I'm in the order as listed by Leonard Maltin, who has whims
Starting point is 01:22:27 and flights of fancy. Name it. Yeah, it goes to Aaron now, right? Yeah. He said name it, right? No, no, it's your turn. He says negative five. Can you go negative six on this movie whose name I shall not say?
Starting point is 01:22:46 Yeah. You go negative six? Well, Tom, it looks like you just stepped in a bucket of lucky shit. Devin, shut the fuck up. Seriously, Devin.
Starting point is 01:23:05 The adults are trying to play. Sit at that little table and eat your yams. Okay, so he says negative six. Yeah, no, name it. A hundred percent name it. How many names did I say? Nine? Yes.
Starting point is 01:23:23 All right, he's going negative six on this. In the order. Yeah. In the order? Yes! All right, hang on a second. I like to try to be fair, and I also like a more exciting ending. I'm not trying.
Starting point is 01:23:41 Aaron? You want to try or do you want to take it back? I'll let you take it back if you want. Because it has to be in the correct order. And I know when I was describing it earlier, you were sitting all the way over there. So sometimes you miss things. I mean, I feel like if I don't try,
Starting point is 01:23:58 I'm going to go home a loser anyway. No, if you don't try, Matt might go home a winner. And if he doesn't go home a winner, then you do. It's a win-win for you guys if you ask him to name it. So he should name it? Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 01:24:20 I'm very excited about this. I'm naming it? But know in your head what you would have said. That'll be interesting to know. Yeah. How the fuck did this just happen? It's a three-player game, so you can get boxed out. It seems unfair at the time,
Starting point is 01:24:35 but it turns out that you should have bid differently the first time you had a chance. All right. I was trying to be a goddamn man. No, it's fine. You've seen what's in this bag right It's just our CDs And a copy of Schmovie The movie board game
Starting point is 01:24:54 So there's not really that much pressure I wanted Laura to win Tom's CD You're going to be back on the show right You had fun Me? Yeah I had a lot of fun to win Tom's TV. You're going to be back on the show, right? You had fun? Me? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:07 Yeah, I had a lot of fun. I just want you to know, I don't want to be this bad at this. You know what I mean? You're just unfortunately a victim of nerd bullying where a nerd finally gets to tell somebody a thing or two because you're a pretty tough guy growing up weren't you no i don't think you can become friends with iron mike without uh you being pretty tough looking i mean i'm not did he punch you a few times like like light light ones but did he
Starting point is 01:25:45 punch you no but he did like he did grab my shoulders and it felt like like he could just hold you there forever it felt like multiple people were grabbing my shoulders and like and i was like his raw power i was like oh my god like he's like 48 and i was like you could absolutely beat the shit out of everybody younger than you. No question asked. It was amazing. Well, speaking of beating the shit out of people, Matt Fulcher on first appearance on the show
Starting point is 01:26:16 not good at games is going to attempt to tell us the name of this movie and the top five people in the correct order. And if he does it, I apologize in advance to the Pittsburgh Improv for being turned into an amphitheater.
Starting point is 01:26:35 Because the roof is going to go. Try not to gasp when you think he's getting it wrong. What's the name of the movie? the movie's called Ghostbusters if you say so and who are the top five Bill people in order?
Starting point is 01:26:56 from number one to number five is Bill Murray Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver possibly Rick Moranis. Harold Ramis. You got the exact right names, but the order
Starting point is 01:27:11 is wrong. It's not bad. That's quite good, actually. It goes Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, because bros before hoes. Then Rick Moranis because he is the key master.
Starting point is 01:27:28 And thank you so much for trying. You went for it. And Aaron Kleiber is our winner today. I answered nothing. I just played the game. You know what? Let the fans say that to you. You don't have to point it out yourself.
Starting point is 01:27:53 I played. Somebody's going to tweet mean things to you, and I apologize. It's cool. I apologize in advance, but that was a very exciting game, and you guys all did a great job. How are we doing on time? We got time for plugs?
Starting point is 01:28:14 Oh, let's do plugs real fast. What do you got coming up, Aaron? Aaron Kleiber on Twitter, right? Yeah, just say Aaron Kleiber. K-L-I-E-B-E-R? K-L-E-I-B-E-R. Shit! Yeah! I before before you except in German, Doug Okay Yeah, I do a lot of shows at the
Starting point is 01:28:30 Arcade Comedy Theater downtown If you guys know that place Yeah, yeah, it's a fun little Black Box Comedy Theater next Friday I am riffing 80s music videos With a couple comedians That's fun I really thought he said AIDS music videos.
Starting point is 01:28:46 I thought that's in very bad taste. Just shout. Just shout. Yeah, doing that next Friday. It's called Pop-Up Video Improv. And we mentioned yesterday, I do a movie review podcast with Pittsburgh's movie reviewer, Sean Collier.
Starting point is 01:29:01 I don't know if you ever heard of him. Yeah, movie review podcast. It Collier. I don't know if you ever heard of him. Yeah, movie review podcast comes out every week called You Can't Handle the Truth Movie Podcast. Check that out. That's it. Yeah, yeah. Nice plugs. Tom, what do you got coming up? Let's see, I do two episodes
Starting point is 01:29:17 of Your Mom's House podcast every week with Christina Bezitsky, my wife. I'm doing stand-up like like, way too many places. I'm going to Columbus, Philly, Denver, Hong Kong, Houston, Dallas. Nice routing. Oklahoma City.
Starting point is 01:29:41 Matt Fulchron. I got a podcast called The Full Charge Power Hour I'm at The Full Charge on Twitter and I got a CD called This is the Part of the Job I Hate and fuck yeah yeah and both of these gentlemen you gonna do a guest set later Aaron
Starting point is 01:29:56 Aaron do you wanna do a guest set on their show yes sir okay all three of these gentlemen are performing in the next show here at the Improv. So show your love and come back and see them. Can I plug the... I forgot to say, I have a special on Netflix. If you have Netflix, please watch it.
Starting point is 01:30:15 Yeah. I got something on Netflix also. A couple of things, I think. But yeah, Greatest Movie Ever Rolled is on Netflix. And like I said before, all of my tour dates are at douglosmovies.com. Thank you, Pittsburgh. No sound problems.
Starting point is 01:30:33 This one's going international. People are going to hear it. Thanks again to Eric Clyburn, Tom Segura, Matt Fulcheron. Let's do this again, Pittsburgh. Oh, I need your shitheads. Give me your shitheads. I've ramped into the ending so confidently.
Starting point is 01:30:50 And is there a shithead on the back of your name tag, Tom? I don't need yours, Aaron, because you won. Can the person who made the light bright for Aaron come up and get your schmovie and your bag of prizes? And as always... It's a weird place for a mic drop. You didn't even say anything before doing it.
Starting point is 01:31:12 You gotta make a bold statement and then drop it and walk off. What do you think that says? This is from Devin and it's seeing a dead body math your sister. You saw what Sakura did, and that's a shithead?
Starting point is 01:31:36 I imagine that's a shithead, right? Devin, how many times do we have to tell you that we love you? And there's no reason for you to lash out? Yes, I did see a dead body with my sister. It's the perfect time to bring it up. Maybe Tom will say something about it in the 7 o'clock show. Do you do a bit about it? No.
Starting point is 01:32:06 Way to bring it up, Devin. And not playing the backyard brawl is a shithead, whatever that means. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.

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