Doug Loves Movies - Tony Hinchcliffe, Ngaio Bealum, and Sean Jordan Guest
Episode Date: December 30, 2014Live from the Punchline in Sacramento, Doug welcomes comics Tony Hinchcliffe, Ngaio Bealum, and Sean Jordan to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy ...Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Oh, boy.
That was the taintiest of all.
The prize bag is so big and unwieldy.
But let's deal with that in a second.
We are coming to you
once again from the
How About Arden Mall
in Sacramento,
California!
Alright.
I'm going to do this
without the script.
You guys that are sitting here watching
know
can vouch for me.
Here we go.
It's Tuesday.
December 30th.
2014 Wolf of Wall Street
fight Terminator 2
Judgment Day of the
dead men walking tall
the president's men in black
Fisher King, Ralph, Dog Day
Afternoon Delight, Sleep Perfect
Murder by Death Wish
Three Ami Ghost Worlds
End of Watch
Men Don't Leaving
Las Vegas Food Law Of watch men don't leave being.
Las Vegas food law jingle.
All the Wayne's world's fastest.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dubes.
Days of thunderbolt and light foot fist.
Way of the gun crazy heartbreak kids are all
righteous kill bill
volume 1
8 17
wolf
I think I got it right
anyway
that should by the time you hear this,
that should be available as a T-shirt at douglovesshirts.com.
Hey, Doug Loves Minis listeners.
Starting January 1st, I'm going to attempt to watch 365 movies in 365 days.
Not necessarily a movie a day.
Sometimes I'll have to see two or three or more in a day to catch up.
But I'm going to try within the year to see, by the end of 2015, I will hope to have seen 365 movies.
And I will chronicle it on Doug Loves Minis and on Twitter, of course.
Wish me luck.
Thank you.
The prize bag, oh boy.
It's so heavy.
You know what?
The heaviest thing in here, and it saddens me that someone's going to consume this,
but the heaviest thing is the fucking candy.
There's like a couple of bags of Sour Patch Kids
and some classic Red Vines.
There's like three Sour Patch Kids.
This kid went crazy on this shit.
And some Red Vines.
But anyway, there's lots of stuff in the prize bag.
Let's get my guests up here and we'll sort through all of it.
Please give a big, warm, holiday taint, Sacramento punchline welcome to
Ngayo Belem, Sean Jordan, and Tony Hinchcliffe. Hello.
That's Ngayo Bilem, everybody.
What's up, hometown?
Represent.
Been a guest on this show many times,
but it's almost like if I'm doing it in Sacramento,
you're going to be on the show.
That's right. Whenever you're doing it, do me.
And people...
What?
So what did you bring for the prize bag?
You brought a shirt?
I brought a T-shirt for my old band,
Most Chill Slack Mob,
if you like random obscure hip-hop bands
from the early 20th century.
That's a beautiful shade of brown, too.
And it's got a nice logo.
Did you see the cool-ass logo on the back?
Yeah.
Oh, on the back?
We have a couch and a turntable.
Oh, a couch and a turntable.
There you go.
Yeah, see?
So there you go.
It's beautiful.
Yeah.
Damn it.
It's funny that you brought a shirt from a band that you were in
because I also brought for the prize bag
a shirt that says, of course,
Douglas Movies on it.
Woo!
But then also another shirt.
This person,
three days of your next week are covered.
Right?
No laundry.
You don't have to worry
about laundry
for three more days.
It's fucking cold.
Put a sweater on.
Because I brought
the classic
I've smoked weed
with Ngaio shirt.
And whoever wins tonight
is going to have to
meet us out back
and make the shirt
a reality.
You can't wear a shirt
that says I smoked weed
with Ngaio
and you didn't smoke weed with N'Gayo.
I hope you have some weed.
And N'Gayo's doing a show here tomorrow night
at this very club at what time?
7.30.
7.30.
It's the pre-funk or the old people show.
And what's going on for the show
where they ring in midnight or whatever?
Other people.
Oh, okay.
Let's not worry about it.
And I'm going to be
in San Francisco at a club called
Cobbs for two shows tomorrow night.
Let's say hi to Sean Jordan,
Portland Phenom.
Yeah.
What's cracking, Sacktown?
Very popular Doug Loves Movies
guest since his last appearance
where he and Greg Proops
noticed that I was incapacitated
and took that opportunity
to riff like crazy.
I got you, dude.
I gripped the grain
and took over.
It was a very fun show.
It was a very good time.
And you're the one
that brought all this candy
for the prize bag?
Yeah, man.
That's what I do
when I watch movies.
I eat Sour Patch Kids.
A shitload of them.
And red vines.
I don't really eat red vines.
I just figured some of you guys might eat red vines.
I don't really do them.
That's nice of you.
I brought a movie.
You're really empathetic that way.
And you brought a motion picture.
I brought a motion picture.
What's it called?
Lords of Dogtown.
Lords of Dogtown.
Because I don't know if you guys know this about Sean,
but he's a bit of a...
He likes to skate around.
He's a bit of a...
He likes to skate around.
He likes to get on some wheels and jump into a pool.
That's what I say to girls, too.
Same thing.
Hey, I'm a bit of I like to skate around.
You want to go?
Want to go watch Lords of Dogtown?
Are you familiar with the extended, unrated cut?
Do you know what kind of stuff we're going to get
that we didn't get from the original Lord of Dogtown?
Dogs of Lordtown?
Penetration.
Penetration?
That's what I've heard anyways. I haven't seen it.
Alright, well that's a good reason to watch, you guys.
And Tony Hinchcliffe is here.
Thank you Hello
Hi Sacramento
Oh really quickly
Sean do you have a big show
In Portland tomorrow night?
I do
I'll be at Helium
Tomorrow for both shows
In Portland
There you go
Yeah
Oh yeah
No
This show
Is just for these people
Sitting right here.
No one else is going to hear it.
Good call.
Don't plug your shit.
I'll be at Cobb's in San Francisco tomorrow night.
And Tony's got a big show in Los Angeles tomorrow night.
Yeah, two big ones.
At the Improv with Joe Rogan, and then I shoot over to the Comedy Store.
I bring in the New Year at the Comedy Store in Hollywood. I'm on it midnight.
Whoa!
And also, if you're gonna watch the
ball drop, watch it on NBC,
because I wrote Carson Daly and his panel's
jokes for tomorrow night.
Boom. Can you...
Yeah. Do you know which jokes
got in? What? Do you know
which jokes got in? Because they taped it
already, right? No, no, they tape it live.
This is live from, this is the
fucking ball dropping, man. It's like
Carson's like the new Dick Clark.
Does he go off script much?
No, definitely not.
So give us, tell us one.
Tell us a joke that he's going to say and we'll
all lose our shit when we hear him say it.
The funny
thing is Carson pretty much is going to do
no jokes. That's his thing.
Carson just is going to keep the thing
on its helm. He hosts the hell out of that.
Who do you write the jokes for?
That's all I can say on this, Doug.
NBC will fire me in a heartbeat if I say
anything. There's like surprise cameos
that you had to write jokes for?
There's some really cool ones.
I'll tell you who's not on there. Taylor Swift.
She's over with Ryan Seacrest.
Why are you guys oohing?
Who gives a shit?
I don't know what that reaction meant.
I don't know why
anybody cares about any of this. We're all going to be out
not watching television.
Everybody gave a fuck about that
for some reason.
That's the thing. If you're going to have
a TV on while you're partying, why not
have it be NBC? Okay.
I'm sure it'll come right back to you if the ratings
got a boost this year.
Holy shit, was Hinchcliffe
talking about us on podcasts?
Day and
date?
They're going to get the Benson bump, man.
What did you...
I didn't know you did coke.
Yeah, I was going to say,
I was going to make a joke about getting somebody pregnant,
but what's the thing you brought for the prize make?
You brought a poster from your very popular podcast,
Kill Tony.
Yeah.
Part of the Death Squad Network.
That's me.
An Australian artist drew that version of me.
Looks like I have a little bit of dirt on my face, but it's okay.
Yeah, Watts, I've always thought of you as Tony Dirt Face Hinchcliffe.
It's a pretty dirty face.
So it's no big deal.
I think it's supposed to be a little shadow.
It's shadowy, but dirty, yeah.
Yeah.
You're right.
That's not making it better.
And what's this?
That's a Christmas-looking penguin that when you pull its tail,
chocolate jelly beans come out of its butthole.
It's made of plastic.
And then what's this serious-looking box?
And, you know, that just happens to be
everything you need in a vaporizer right there.
Yeah.
That's the magic flight box.
You guys can thank NBC for that.
You know what I'm saying?
Bong, bong, bong.
National bong company. There you go. It's one of those numbers. National bong company.
There you go.
It's one of those numbers.
Those are pretty nice.
Yeah, it's strictly for tobacco, you know.
Only tobacco.
To vaporize tobacco.
Yeah, everybody loves vaping tobacco.
Straight to the dome, dude.
That's how you want your tobacco.
Definitely.
Get fucked up off this tobacco.
Hell yeah.
That'll work.
Go out to the desert sometime with some buddies,
just smoke some tobacco.
What'd you do last night? I killed a bunch of people I was all hopped up on tobacco
Vaporized, murder, I don't know what happened
Broke out of jail somehow
Yeah, because you were clear minded
Because it was just vaping at the end of the day
That perfect tobacco
I was in a hotel recently
That gives you a loofah sponge
That I didn't use.
So throw that in the price bag because
I know people like to luxuriate.
That's the
exfoliating loofah. Treat themselves nice.
I got a lighter from
my friends at Chameleon Glass.
Love those guys.
And some of this shit.
Highgasm.
It's a lubricant to make your genitals high.
Break that down a little bit.
Let's dive in a little deeper on that.
That's kind of the new rage right now in cannabis-infused products.
There's Floria, and then there's another one just called straight-up vaginal cannabis.
Wow.
There's got to be a better name.
That one's recommended by doctors.
Vaginal cannabis.
You know exactly what it's for.
There's no confusion.
Shouldn't there also be a product called dickweed?
Yes.
You put your dickweed in a nut sack.
I jerked off with that cannabis
lube once and
it made my dick have a panic attack.
I was crying
at the end of it. It was sad.
But the poops that come out of the penguin, those are
candy, right? You can eat them?
Or are they real poops?
That's for the lucky winner
to find out.
And then I also brought from my friends at Poke Bowl
a nice red Poke Bowl.
For those that don't know what a Poke Bowl is,
it's just a thing you can clean out your pipes and stuff,
and then the inside's made of rubber,
so all the ash and stuff just dumps right out.
You could use it as an ashtray.
Your ash hole with your Poke Bowl. So weed doesn't stick to rubber? so all the ash and stuff just dumps right out. You could use it as an ashtray.
Your ash hole with your Poke Bowl.
Yeah.
So weed doesn't stick to rubber?
Nope.
All right.
I didn't know that.
I don't smoke pot.
I'm sorry.
Just like insults.
That's beautiful.
It wasn't an insult.
You're rubber and I'm glue.
Remember that one?
It's a really beautiful... It sticks to you.
I get it.
Really beautiful packaging for just a nail
in the middle of a box.
But also
crazy useful.
It really comes in handy.
I have one everywhere
that I smoke weed.
I'm grateful for those people.
And all of
that is going to be won by somebody tonight.
That's a pretty amazing prize bag.
Woo!
Woo!
Like, if you were thinking of going, like, just going out on the road like Reese Witherspoon in Wild,
this prize bag would get you through at least two or three days in the wilderness
with all the candy and the clothing
and the... Two or three
cold days.
Yeah, it's super chilly in Sacramento
tonight, so thank you guys for coming out
and supporting this
in spite of what is probably
the coldest night of the year for you guys, right?
I don't know if it's let's not go outside weather
right now, right? Yeah.
I'd be pretty pissed if you guys were like, I was 45 degrees, I couldn't know if it's let's not go outside weather right now, right? Yeah. I'd be pretty pissed if you guys were like,
I was 45 degrees, I couldn't handle it.
And they probably bought the tickets on a warmer day online.
Thinking there's no way it would get colder.
In winter.
Yeah.
Tony, have you been to the cinema lately?
Have you seen anything you could recommend?
Oh, my God. I am the luckiest motherfucker in the world.
I live literally a three or four minute drive
from the New Beverly Cinema in Hollywood, which is...
They've been going crazy with amazing double bills there lately.
Tarantino's owned the theater for years.
Long story short, a couple months ago,
he fired the management.
Now he hand makes the lineups that
actually play. Double features
every day.
$8 for two movies.
It's like being a kid again.
$2 sodas, $1
popcorns. It's like a fucking
joke.
Every time. I feel like it's a
prank every time. Like I'm just waiting
for shit to just open up and for it to be a game show. Like you're a fucking idiot. like it's a prank every time. Like, I'm just waiting for shit to just open up
and for it to be a game show.
Like, you're a fucking idiot.
But it's not.
The other day I saw a special Samuel L. Jackson double feature,
which I love.
Unbreakable and Black Snake Moan.
Whoa.
That really is an interesting double bill.
Yeah.
Unbreakable's fucking sweet, man.
That's a great movie.
The other one, not so much, though.
No, no.
Truth is, I left before Black Snake Moan.
I just wanted to see Unbreakable,
and for eight bucks at a theater, you can't beat that.
You don't want to see Timberlake all shredded up and tatted
in Black Snake Moan?
I didn't even know he was in it.
There's just something about Black Snake Moan.
Oh, he's in it.
I won't see that, and I won't see the...
Is it the title?
Yeah.
Snakes on a Plane.
Either one of Samuel L. Snake's movies I refuse to watch.
Hey, but next time we're talking about movies,
just bring up the one you saw.
You don't have to mention the one that was also on the bill
that you left before you were really talking it up
like it was the greatest double bill ever,
and then you got the fuck out of there
when the shitty one started.
Another time
there I saw Kill Bill 1 and 2
the whole thing. Tarantino only
has this cut in which everything's
placed differently and all in one
sequential order.
Which was mind blowing.
Wait, what? Of which movie? Kill Bill 1 and 2.
Oh yeah, where he plays it all in the right order.
Yeah, I saw that there once, too.
That's awesome.
Did they have a marijuana break in between?
They literally did.
It pops up in the middle of it.
It just goes,
10-minute intermission in old-school font.
And you're just like,
are you kidding me?
Perfect.
Perfect, right?
The drugs are wearing off.
Perfect.
YouTube has a version of Pulp Fiction
where they just put everything in the proper order
like in order it would have happened
starting with the Christopher Walken flashback
and then everything else is
in the correct order
and it's really interesting to watch it that way
does it make more or less sense?
did Pulp Fiction
not make sense in some way?
I thought it was pretty...
Except for what's in the briefcase.
It doesn't reveal what's in the briefcase.
Why do you keep a watch in your ass all that time?
Huh?
Why do you keep a watch in your ass all that time, though, really?
It's a watch.
What?
That's where it all fell apart for me.
I'm just fine with Pulp Fiction either way.
However you want to throw it at me.
I can handle it.
Oh, that's not the watch.
The watch isn't in the briefcase.
No, the watch is in his ass.
Oh, you can't put a briefcase in your ass.
You have to relax a great deal.
That gold light shoots out of your ass.
Sean, what have you seen lately?
Have you been to the movies?
My soul is in my ass.
It'd be tricky to get a watch up there too, though.
That's what I'm saying.
That was the whole crux of the thing.
I don't know what a good time to do this is.
Can I have a Jameson on the rocks, please?
That's a perfect time to do it.
It was your turn to speak and everything.
I went to Whiplash. It was really good.
Whiplash is great.
Miles Teller's dope.
Nothing funny about it.
I just want you guys all to know that I like Miles Teller.
I think he's rad.
That's the one about the kid, the jazz drummer kid,
and his fucking super mean instructor.
I wasn't sure.
J.K. Simmons?
I didn't know if I could get into a movie, like,
straight up about drumming.
Like, I don't know anything about drumming,
and it hooked me right away.
J.K. Simmons is such a freak.
You didn't care for Drumline with Nick Cannon?
Every time it's on, I watch it.
No matter where I catch it, when it's on USA
and, like, Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, it gets watched. That's what I say. People give me a hard time for it on, I watch it. No matter where I catch it, when it's on USA and Thanksgiving
or Christmas Day,
it gets watched.
That's what I say.
People give me
a hard time for it,
but I fucking love drumming.
Drumming's awesome.
I love romantic comedies.
I mean,
I like shitty movies.
There's not enough movies
about drumming.
Birdman shouldn't have been
about Michael Keaton
trying to get his thing
on the play off the ground.
It should have been
about that drummer
that was drumming
the whole time.
Yeah.
It kind of was. Fucking movies, nonstop that drummer that was drumming the whole time. It kind of was.
The fucking movie's non-stop drumming.
More drumming than Whiplash.
More drumming than movies about drumming.
You're saying Whiplash got you more
into drumming?
Yeah, I drum now.
What do you mean?
I don't skate anymore. I drum now.
Wow. How soon did it start to take over?
Like halfway through the movie you just flip over the popcorn bucket
And just start there?
Well I saw the title
And I got really into car accidents
And then I realized it was about drumming
So I was like
That's Nightcrawler
Nightcrawler
Just a movie about super butt car accidents
That's what I thought it was about
I didn't really
Not Marvel villains?
What?
What?
I watched Home Alone the other day, too,
since I fucked up so bad the last time I was on here,
and I said that Danny DeVito was in Home Alone.
Did anybody listen to that?
I watched Home Alone.
I went and watched Home Alone, and it holds up, by the way.
It's really good.
Danny DeVito's not in it.
I checked hard.
Not in it. Not at all.
No DeVito's not in it. I checked hard. Not in it. Not at all. No DeVito.
But, you know, you confuse two people that are, you know, Hollywood short assholes.
Yeah.
You know.
Who else is like those guys, really?
That little guy in Rocky.
That's the only other dude I could think of.
Burgess Meredith?
There's a little guy in Rocky?
No, not Burgess Meredith.
The penguin?
No, Adrian's brother.
Oh, yeah. Paulie. Paulie. Burt Young is a little guy? How tall do you think Burt Young is? What's a little guy? No, not Burgess Meredith. The penguin? No, Adrian's brother. Oh, yeah.
Paul.
Burt Young is a little guy?
How tall do you think Burt Young is?
What are you, crazy?
How tall do you think Burt Young is?
Well, he's certainly fat.
No offense.
Was he also Roddy Dangerfield's bodyguard in Back to School?
Uh-huh.
Yes?
All right.
Dude that lives in Portland wrote that movie.
Call me sometime when you have no class.
What's that?
The guy that lives in Portland wrote Back to movie What's that? Guy that lives in Portland
Wrote Back to School
Awesome
Yay Portland
Yeah rep
Rep for Portland
Whenever you get the chance
Jump in with some
Portland knowledge
Bob Barker's from South Dakota
That's not what I was
Asking for at all
And Gajo
Have you been to the movies?
I've been to lots of movies.
I saw Top 5.
How did that work out for you?
Don't spoil it.
I'm not spoiling it.
Okay.
I'm not spoiling it at all.
Please, Emmett.
Is it in your Top 5 Chris Rock movies?
Yeah, it's probably my favorite Chris Rock movie.
It's in my Top 5 Jerry Seinfeld films.
There's that.
There's Bee Movie.
And that's the whole fucking list.
What's up with that?
Comedian.
No, it was really, really
good. It actually made me start thinking about my top
five favorite hip-hop artists of all time.
Oh, do you have a list? Let's go.
Let's hear it. Come on. I'm still working
on it. Throw it out. I'm still working on it.
Throw it out. Alright. People are gonna talk shit.
Now, I'm kind of weird, though, because you
guys, it's always... right. People are going to talk shit. Now, I'm kind of weird, though, because you guys, it's always...
Okay.
Miley Cyrus.
Unfortunately, not in the top five.
It was close.
Okay.
Okay, Chuck D.
Sure.
Wait, is this bottom or top?
You start with the bottom.
It's just bottom.
Start with five.
And now we're here.
Yeah, you got to start with it.
Is Drake on there?
No, Drake's not on there.
He went from one to 100 real quick.
You're a good girl.
You know it.
We just start quoting Drake lyrics on the movie podcast?
Sometimes I'm just standing around.
This long dick ain't for long talk.
Chuck D.
Coming in at number five, Chuck D.
Chuck Diesel.
We'll put KRS-One.
No, no, no.
Who?
I'm trying to put it in order.
Who?
KRS-One at number four.
Who?
KRS-One. Oh, KRS-One at number four. Who? KRS-One.
Oh, KRS-One.
At number three, and what may be a twist for some people,
I'm going to go with Boots Riley from The Coup.
As you can imagine, I like my hip-hop kind of conscious,
so you all know what I'm talking about.
Oakland represent, first of all.
Listen to them.
I have Noswalt in the video, if that helps.
If that helps, you guys.
Well, now I'm in. Palatable. What does he mean? You got a couple if that helps. If that helps, you guys. More palatable.
What's his name again?
You got a couple of white girls.
Boots Riley.
Boots Riley?
Boots Riley.
I think I always get him confused with Danny DeVito.
Yes.
Boots Riley was my chance to teach.
It's very easy.
He is also short.
All right, number two.
Ice Cube.
Oh, okay.
Don't forget. Legal Injection and Predator
Don't forget about those
They were super dope
Yeah, super dope
He wasn't always a coward
He wrote all of that
He wrote all that
early NWA shit
Most of that is
Ice Cube writing
and Lynch Mob
He wrote that whole Lynch Mob
Are we there yet?
By the way
Hey, you asked
You asked
Oh, I get it
Quite the ride along you're taking us on Right? You asked. You asked. Oh, I get it.
Quite the ride-along you're taking us on, right?
Chickadee check yourself.
Before you wreck yourself.
By the way, Ice Cube is number two on my list of favorite things to put inside a drink.
What's above Ice Cubes?
Your dick.
Sorry, did I jump on your line?
That doesn't make any sense.
And coming in at number one...
Can we all guess?
You can try.
All right, my guess is...
It was a straw, by the way.
One of, but not all of.
I'm older.
I'm guessing one of the fat, fat boys.
Buffy.
No.
I'm going to give a real guess.
I'll say Big Daddy Kane.
No.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
Do you have a guess, Tony?
I'm going to go with Tupac Shakur.
He's the best rapper to ever live. West Coast is very nice. No, there's cats who didn't make this. Tupac Shakur. He's the best rapper that ever lived.
West Coast is very nice.
No, there's cats who didn't make this.
Tupac didn't make my top five.
E40 didn't make my top five.
Efeasible?
Outkast didn't make my top five.
They're in the top ten.
They're all very, very nice.
I'm going to have to go.
I'm going to put Run DMC at the top because you're a sucker, MC, and you're my fan.
That's all I'm saying.
Two years ago, a friend of mine.
Come on. It's Christmas time.
In Hollis, Queens.
What's mama cooking?
Oh, I knew it.
I'm excited. I can't wait.
Run DMC. I don't care.
You don't have to care.
It's not like that's a shit.
You didn't say like snow or something, which would be a big bummer.
Or like Jodeci.
A licky pum pum down.
Ludacris is almost in my top five, though.
Ludacris is dope.
Ludacris is dope.
Again, one of those dudes that people sleep on,
but he's super dope.
He can flow.
They just think he's pop, but he's got rhymes.
Jay-Z's not in my top five.
Rap.
You guys want to talk about rap?
Yeah, we'll be back with more of Doug Loves Rapping presents.
Doug Loves Rapping presents. Doug Loves Rapping!
Presents.
Let's jump forward to the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin!
Let's go!
These nice folks brought some name tags.
I forgot to ask to see them earlier,
but I just assumed there'd be some good ones
and some big ones.
Three marks and a little Doug.
That makes me uncomfortable.
They all light up now.
Blake Trouble and Little China.
Yeah, people figured out they got to get their stuff seen.
In a darkened showroom, that guy over there is just wearing a scream mask.
Nobody can see him.
But yeah, there's lots of options.
Lots of people out there also are probably wondering
what the hell's happening right now.
Are we picking out right now?
Yeah, you guys are going to pick who you want to play for.
Just go and grab it.
But take a good look around.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
I just remembered, we actually don't have a
commercial in the middle of this episode,
so I'm just
going to keep talking.
Yeah, we're back.
What about your five favorite rappers, Doug?
I don't even...
It's funny
that I made him do a top five of anything
Because when people ask me to
I say no thanks
Well that's polite of you to say no thanks at least
Yeah
You don't have to say no
I don't just say fuck off
What's that food item right there?
What is it?
Brownie bites
You said hash bites first didn't you?
Do you guys like brownie bites?
Don't lie to me.
Oh, shit, I saw that hammer on Twitter.
Yeah, he said he got it from a Milan guy.
That's pretty cool.
All right, Tony, what do you got?
Tone low.
Did you get one yet, Tony?
Tony's really working the room.
Tony.
Tony.
All right.
Since Tony's making his way to the stage, let's start with N'Gayo.
Who are you playing for, N'Gayo?
The Hammer of Steve, sir.
He's got a shithead on the back and everything.
Yep.
So good job, Steve.
Who are you playing for Sean?
Heidi and Doug It's just a high fidelity logo but that's my favorite movie of all time
And it also top 5
Everything's top 5 in there
So we were just talking about rappers
Is Heidi here with someone named Doug?
No look it's you
It's you and her
I get it now
I just didn't know if it was a couple that made a tag No, look, it's you and her. I get it now.
I just didn't know if it was a couple that made a tag or if it was a girl named Heidi.
What if Heidi is like Hi Doug?
No, you didn't want to go there? That's cool.
Hi Doug Phoenician.
I took you on a long walk. I have a short period. I apologize.
It's a good name tag, though.
It is.
But Tony's is my favorite name tag
because it's got so many things glued to it.
Yeah, and then it's Rachel and the Chocolate Factory.
And these are all, all the candies
are legit Wonka brand candies.
And then there's some creepy, like,
communion chips covered in chocolate.
Is that what those are?
Very scary.
Tied together with hay or something like that.
Yeah, I don't understand what the chips are.
Yeah, it gets scary towards the bottom.
A little healthy snack at the end there.
Yeah.
They don't look too healthy.
I love the original Willy Wonka,
so Rachel got my vote.
Woo!
All right.
It should get scary toward the middle
if it's a Willy Wonka film, right?
It gets a little...
Doesn't it get a little twisted?
We're on the boat and shit.
You know what I'm talking about?
A small step for mankind.
That boat shit is pretty early on, actually.
Yeah, that's like the third thing they do or something.
It's kind of deep into the movie.
She has to sing the horrible ballad first.
There's a whole lot of front story before they get to the...
It's right about the middle.
Yeah.
Right about the middle.
I'm just like a human... It is creepy. There's no getting around the fact that it's creepy. It's before the middle. Right about the middle. I'm just like a human.
It is creepy. There's no getting around the fact that it's creepy.
It's before the middle.
It's one of the first fucking things
they do when they get inside the factory.
You're right. There's 30 minutes of bullshit at the top.
The Candyman.
You gotta
get through that song.
Cheer up, Charlie.
Then the fucking dancing around
the bed. I've got a golden ticket.
Hooray!
I never thought that I
would be over the moon in ecstasy.
Alright, we guys know it pretty well for not liking it.
I'm so excited
that I'm going to
see it again. I've already seen it once, but
this weekend I'm going to see it again. Primus
is doing a tour,
Primus and the Chocolate Factory,
where they do covers of every
song, including
the Wondrous Boat Ride.
They do covers of all of it
with fucking psychedelic lights
and crazy costumes and the whole deal.
It's really fun.
Because those songs
are already fucked up
Enough as it is
And then you put
The primest
Brr brr brr brr
Into it
It's fucking crazy
Yeah
Last time I saw
Willy Wonka cover band
It was terrible
Don't care how
I want it now
Boing
Wait is that
Les
I thought Les Claypool
Was up here for a second
He wasn't That was Doug It was just is that Les? I thought Les Claypool was up here for a second. He wasn't.
I was stuck.
It was just me.
That wasn't Les Claypool.
God, I'm dumb.
I thought he was up here.
All right, you guys.
We're going to play some games, starting with a newer game that I'll explain to you called Cluster Flicks.
Yeah.
People are already into
it. I'm into it.
Count me the fuck in.
Let's do it. After I name
three movies, the floor is open
for one of you to yell out the name
of the actor or actress who I'm
thinking of who is in
all three of those movies.
Somebody else may have
squeaked in there and appeared in all three of those movies,
but it has to be the person I'm thinking of.
So it's just the first one to yell out randomly?
Yeah, after the first three,
then the floor is open for yelling.
Right.
If no one gets it,
then I'm going to keep adding names
until someone gets it.
So we could just keep saying names if we wanted to
until we get it.
Just keep guessing as often as you want.
I mean, I think we should play like gentlemen.
Lance Henriksen.
Can I pre-guess a few?
There's no pre-guessing.
Future crime.
It's your world, dude.
You do it.
Dream a little bigger, dog.
And of course, no audience guessing.
I know people get excited
that they know something.
You guys get excited.
But I will come down on you.
What did you say?
But I will go down on you.
I will come on you.
Don't want me to go down on you like that.
Should I get out the way?
I will shoot furious jizz.
Righteous.
Yes.
Ejaculation.
I was trying to quote Sam.
Sammy J.
You're the tyranny of horny men.
Yes.
All right.
It's a symptom of the patriarchy.
Here we go.
Come on, Rico. Your first three films
that this person was in.
Our underdog,
the ex,
and Miss Pettigrew
lives for a day.
Jason Bateman.
Brendan Fraser.
Okay.
One of those guys might have been in one of those.
Jason Bateman was in the X.
Yeah, Jason Bateman was in the X,
but he was not in Underdog or Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.
That's also incorrect.
Any guesses, Tony?
Drew Barrymore.
Mm-mm.
She wasn't in any of those.
Okay, now here we go.
I'm just going to keep adding names now.
Without saying it out loud,
does anyone in the audience think they know they have the answer?
Does anybody?
It's pretty tough.
This guy up front thinks he knows it.
All right.
This person was also in On the Road.
Liam Neeson.
Kristen Stewart?
No and no.
No and no.
This person was also in Talladega Nights, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.
Amy Adams.
Was it Amy Adams?
So did that really just happen?
I tried to ease the tension by saying it.
Do you really not understand how this works?
Like, what compelled you to do that?
Just give me an answer.
Why you would yell out when you're not participating
and you're just in the audience,
and I specifically asked you not to yell out
if you're in the audience, which is where you are.
Maybe...
I want to hear her reason.
Why?
Why?
Excitement.
Excitement.
Okay.
And then somebody else said boredom.
Who said that?
Woo.
So, your excitement is your reason
But it like pisses me off so much
Like you just fucking ruined
A really good game
That like is now just
It's just over
So could you come up here?
Could you physically come up here?
I want everyone to see you
I want everyone to look at this woman
Wow Doug I just got a haircut And so you know I want everyone to look at this woman.
Wow, Doug. I just got a haircut,
and so, you know,
I don't look that great either.
Just been known as a tension user.
I thought maybe she just had bad ass.
She doesn't really have to come up here.
She's on her way.
I know she's on her way,
but I don't know what to do
when that happens.
Like, I don't want to throw her out
because she's a perfectly nice person.
If scaring the shit out of me was something
that you wanted to do, then you got it done.
What's that?
I got really scared for a second.
If you wanted to freak me out because she yelled out the answer.
If that's what you were shooting for, I have flop sweat now.
You guys see that?
Something's going on with my body and I don't know what it is.
You could start a whole new side business
with just going around and scaring hecklers.
At least a lot of times
when they do that, they get the answer wrong.
So then we can continue.
But the answer is Amy Adams.
So congratulations, girl in the audience
that doesn't know how to handle her excitement.
Should we... I mean,
do you promise not to do that during the rest
of the games? Okay, then you can stay, I guess.
I didn't know you could have both Tourette's and mental retardation.
Wow.
I didn't know you could have both of them, that they cross like that.
That's a real special one.
I think she was more Tourette's crossed with autism.
Because she did know the answer. I don't know if...
But I mean, autistic people
are usually really good at one thing.
You're harsh but fair.
I feel like she doesn't have that one thing that she's
really good at, like Rain Man
or anything. Apparently she's good at yelling things out.
Alright, I'm going Biggie, Tupac,
Atmosphere.
Aesop Rock and Brother Ali.
Aesop Rock?
Aesop Rock snuck his way in there, dude.
Not Aesop Rocky.
Biggie and Tupac are at the bottom next to you.
That's how I get things done, dude.
And then it's a bunch of Minneapolis love after that.
Is that ID and abilities and all those guys?
My top four is all the members of Voice to Men, by the way.
Nate, Michael, Sean, and Wanya is who you might be referring to.
Voice to Men.
How do I say goodbye?
I don't know, man.
How do I say goodbye, baby?
Hey, baby.
I just want you to come back to me, girl.
I'm talking to you over there.
Just give me the answer, girl.
I just want that answer again Alright you guys pretend that you're like in a jury
And you didn't hear
What happened
Amy Adams
Yeah pretend that you didn't hear that
Adams comma Amy on her essay
And I will keep going
It would have gone on forever
Because these guys don't know Amy Adams movies.
It would have been so great.
Because would Night at the Museum
Battle of the Smithsonian have helped you?
No, it wouldn't have helped me.
Would The Master have helped?
Maybe.
Sundance Cleaning?
I think I might have got it on The Master.
Doubt?
I'll speak for the panel.
Junebug?
Damn.
Enchanted?
She works a lot.
Charlie Wilson's War? Say the fighter. Her? Markchanted. She works a lot. Charlie Wilson's War.
Say the fighter.
Her.
Mark Wahlberg.
Leapyear.
The Fighter.
I saved The Fighter because I knew you'd figure it out on The Fighter.
Don't look at me like that, dude.
Just because I'm hard as fuck.
The Muppets.
Trouble with the Curve.
I only would have gotten this had the last one been the Amy Adams autobiography.
Julie and
Julia. She played
the title role.
Man of Steel.
I like how shitty you think we are at this game. You have like
50 loaded. And American
Hustle. Well, that was going to be the fun part, is
how many it took, but somebody was too
smart for us.
Maybe she's just an Amy Adams fan.
Do you have another? Sure. I think Amy does probably have some. She's just an Amy Adams fan. Do you have another?
Sure, I think Amy does probably have some.
She's in all of those movies.
Apparently someone's going to see her.
She's really good.
I thought she was...
She's in Big Eyes right now,
which I thought she just sort of saddled
with a thankless role of just acting
confused for the entire movie.
But she's good, though.
That girl, she's got a huge portrait of Amy Adams
tattooed on her right ribcage.
That's what she was going to come up and show us.
Damn it.
When I was berating her about why she did it, I was just hoping she'd say
I'm high or I'm drunk.
I assume she's both those things.
But she doesn't even have those excuses.
How do you know?
She went with excitement.
Maybe she's excited because she's fucking low.
Woo!
Fucking party!
Wait, Sean,
did you just get a shot of something?
No, it's, you know,
I'm not a wild animal, so I enjoy my drink of
Jameson on the Rocks.
Can I have another Jameson on the Rocks?
Two, two Jameson on the Rocks, please.
And, uh, Nogayo, did. Two Jameson on the rocks, please. And, uh...
Nogayo, did you want something as well?
Yeah, three. Three Jamesons as well.
Nice. Way to set that up.
Close your eyes.
Make a wish.
Hey, girl.
And blow out the candlelight.
I know I had some unsavory things to say
about that other gentleman that I saw you with
at the bowling alley that one night.
But I think it'd be real nice
if you came back to me, girl.
I got new sheets for our bed and our condo.
I know we still got a waterbed, but who cares?
What's at the bottom of the box of cereal, girl?
Is that a wedding ring?
All night.
Rest of our lives.
Hold the wine!
Hold the wine!
I said hold the wine,
not pour the wine.
Pour the wine is what it should have been.
I always have to do that.
You always have to make up words
when you don't know it.
Hold the wine.
What a dipshit.
The guy and I are over here like going,
what is this white shit?
It's crazy.
None of them are white.
No, but the two of you are clearly...
Oh, wow.
Thank you so much.
Here comes the booze.
Oh, more drinks. I love it.
You say boys to men three times, drinks comes.
It's like Beetlejuice.
Exactly.
Wow, how many did they bring?
I didn't really mean to do that.
I love a lot of floor drinks.
No, I'm not
going to do that, but you can.
I'm just going to stick with my vodka.
Good idea.
After you guys do those
shots, let's play another game.
I'd love to play a game.
That's the best time.
I'll make love to you.
And I'll thank you.
Remember that song? Deep cut, boys to men.
Thank you. One of their when they tried to come back.
I can't really get into crates like that.
You don't like digging around?
Maybe not. I don't really dig around
into the boys to men.
I can't say that I do.
I wait until they're men, but I dig around.
So Tony won that last
game because he said Amy Adams.
That would be hilarious
if we cut together this episode
so that...
Because he did say it. As soon as I say that
clue right before you said it, we just
have him go, Amy Adams!
And then I go, we have to cut this part out
too, though.
It's just a slippery slope. It's too much
effort. Just cut it into
like Tarantino style, so it just jumps
around in time. Yeah.
They have a version on YouTube where it's all
in the right order.
We'll still let Tony go first
in this next game, though, because he sort of won.
And then we'll go to you, Sean,
and then to Ngaio.
And we're going to play a round of...
We don't play it very often
because the guests might be confused by it,
and I think you guys can handle it.
Let's play a round of Build a Title.
By the way,
proper's on that, Doug.
Getting all that.
That was Pretty fucking cool
At the start of the podcast
When you said it all in a row
I just wanted to say that
Oh thanks
I was just being nice to my friend
Who said I still just can't do anything
You guys looked at me
Like I was being an asshole
I was being nice to my friend
And I apologize
No I just didn't know
What you were talking about
And like
A lot of the guests
Don't watch the top part
Of the show
They just kind of hang out
Until I introduce them
And then they come out
So I'm extra touched By that comment Yeah That was very amazing watch the top part of the show. They just kind of hang out until I introduce them and then they come out.
So I'm extra touched by that comment.
That was very amazing.
Can I tell you the secret to memorizing it?
I thought of the whole thing.
I added a title each week
for a whole year.
But I also... All the titles are movies that I know
and so that makes it
easy to remember.
If it was a bunch of movies I'd never heard of
then that'd be the extra level
of memory you have to access.
Great story, Doug.
I knew all that before you said it.
Really, it should have
gone without saying
So much is going to get cut from this episode
No
But
I would like
The nice person that I totally forgive
Who's obviously a big fan of the show
And knew Amy Adams
After four or five titles
So
Do you know the game Build a Title?
Have you heard us do that?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes, I have.
If only she had said Amy Adams that quietly.
We could do Chasing Amy,
Adam's Family Values, right?
Is that what we're doing, this game?
It's sort of what we're doing.
I don't know what you're doing.
She's going to give us a starter title for Build-A-Title
that you think would be a good title to start with.
No.
She's thinking about it.
Now she doesn't want to talk.
What's your name, first of all?
Natalia.
Natalia?
Italia.
Italia?
It's just a name.
Everyone's cooking up something to say.
It's just her name.
Everyone's like, ooh, that could say something about that.
That's Italian for un guy.
Did I really say it right?
Italia?
Yeah. Okay.
We'll tell you how to behave like a better audience member.
Really?
Yeah.
All right.
Tony, you don't have to apologize to him.
He still won the Amy Adams game.
Actually, Italia won. Just give us a title that we can start with. He still won the Amy Adams game.
Actually, Italia won.
Just give us a title that we can start with.
Saving Private Ryan.
Saving Private Ryan.
All right.
That's going to be interesting.
So, Tony, you need to come up with a movie that ends with the word a title that ends with the word saving
or begins with Ryan.
Or you could go with
part of Ryan
or part of saving.
Okay.
Okay.
Saving
Private Ryan.
How about Anne?
Rye-an.
Saving Private Rye
Anne Frank.
See, they both involve World War II is what they do.
Those are both World War II references.
It's gotta be a movie, right?
I went to two years of state college.
I get it.
I don't think there's a movie called just Anne Frank.
I don't think we've gotten there yet.
I'm sure it's gonna happen eventually.
Anne Frank! Okay, okay, okay. I got one, I got one. Oh I'm sure it's going to happen eventually And Frank
I got one
He's got another one
You know the first one is the one that usually counts
Of course the worst person ever would leave me with the word Ryan
By the way
Don't worry about it Natalia
You're not the worst person ever
Not at all
I know meth dealers in South Dakota.
Get up here!
Get up here!
I want to look at you!
Start crying!
No! No! I got one. I got one. Start crying!
No!
Sacrifice. I got one.
Wait, what's happening?
I don't know if I do.
I thought Tony was going to say one.
I totally assumed Dan Frank was a movie.
Sure, sure.
It could happen to anybody.
I'm going to go with
Saving Private Ryan
O'Mull House.
Yeah.
Ryan O'Mull House.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course, I prefer to call it
National Lampoon's Animal House.
But I'm going to let you have it.
I'm going to let you have it just because I'd like one of these games
to actually happen.
Amy Adams.
That was not my turn. Sean, do you have
some... House is a pretty good
starter word, I think. Can you guys riff for about
four minutes?
God damn it. I've already thought of three different
things. I was cooking... Tight, dude. I was
cooking up one for Ryan, and I
had one. What'd you have for Ryan and I had one.
What did you have for Ryan?
Ant-Man.
Is that a movie yet?
They're making it.
Anyway, that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about House.
Or Any Which Way But Loose.
It doesn't work like that.
Didn't you not hear him flip the fuck out?
so didn't you not hear him flip the fuck out?
There's no learning curve.
I just have to get used to it.
I don't know, man.
There's got to be... House?
Yeah, yeah.
Come on, don't have anybody say anything.
Save your private Ryan.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, come on, don't have anybody say anything Save your primary
Saving Private Rye Animal House
I'm sorry
That's why they say stuff
Because it's too much pausing
Alright, I can't get one
There's too much quiet in which to speak
House of lies
The house that we built House of, I can't get one. There's too much quiet in which to speak. House of lies. House, house, the house that we built.
House of glass.
Glass house.
I don't know, man.
I was trying to workshop it.
I thought something would come out.
All right, Sean's out.
Sean's out.
And I bow out gracefully like a general office.
You got anything for this?
Saving private Ryan, animal house.
Saving private, saving private Ryan-y, which way but loose. Doesn't work like that. No, it's got house on there already. Animal House. Saving Private Rye Any Which Way But Loose.
Doesn't work like that.
No, it's got house on there already.
Animal House.
I thought...
You have to add the house.
Oh, yeah. Saving Private Rye and Animal House Party.
God.
How hard is that?
You're right on the side, dude. You could have kicked it to me.
God damn it.
Kid and Play.
I forgot both of them.
Right?
And Martin Lawrence.
For your top five?
Yes, of course.
Damn, Gene.
My top five is just the cast of Kid and Play's House Party.
Tanya Watkins.
They're all my favorite rappers.
Tanya Watkins?
She was in House Party 3.
I believe she was in it.
Yeah, she was. Who's your boy Robin
Givens
No
That's a female
Who's my boy Robin
Thick
He wasn't in House Party 3
Baby's kids
We don't die
We don't die
Yeah baby's kids
He's dead
Oh you're talking about
Immature was in House Party 3
That's not who you're talking about
But that kid with the eye patch
And the blonde dreads
Oh Jesus you guys Let's fucking move on.
Tony.
We're just giving him time.
No, I know.
And he's not using it well.
He's just listening to all this nonsense you're saying.
Saving Private
Ryanimal
House Party
Hunter.
Party or Hunter?
Deer Hunter?? Deer Hunter?
Party Deer Hunter?
Yeah.
All right, you're out, and N'Gaya wins.
Oh, Pardier Hunter is what you were saying, like Pardier.
Pardier?
That's where we were going with it?
Par-deer.
Yeah, no matter how hard you try,
you can't make it work.
Par-deer.
Par-deer.
Par-deer.
Tony goes,
is deer hunter not a movie?
Yeah, that's why it didn't work.
Somebody felt so bad over there.
She's like, aw.
Hey, you know, I'm glad I got that first one.
I'm going to celebrate.
All through the night.
Pour the wine.
Pour the wine.
Light the fire.
Light the fire.
And blow out the candle.
Did you just go through puberty?
Did something happen? About 20 years ago, dog. To that very song. Did you just go through puberty?
Did something happen?
About 20 years ago, Doug.
To that very song.
Doug, I'm itching to play something.
You got any movie games we could play? Smells like Axe in here.
That'd be a great Doug Benson comedy special, by the way.
I'll bake love to you.
It would.
I'll bring buds to you
if you want me to.
Smoke them all through the night.
Smoketown Philly.
All right.
Let's...
On blended knee,
if you mix some weed together,
on blended knee. Right? some weed together On blended knee
Right? Thank you was the other one
Never trust a big blunt and a smile
Oh no that's BBD
My bad I'm sorry
I mean they knew each other
From what I gather they were all friends
If I listen to the Boyz II Men catalog correctly
They all knew each other
And they used to kick it as it were
Right it was Boyz II Men, correctly, they all knew each other and they used to kick it, as it were. Right, it was Boyz II Men, ABC, BBD.
The East Coast family, all of them.
They all used to live on the East Coast.
They never miss a beat.
Yeah.
No.
Something was slamming.
I can't remember what was slamming, but something was slamming.
And I'll hold you tight.
BB. Wanya came in with his fucking vacuum lungs. but something was slamming. And I'll hold you tight. Beep beep.
And Wanya came in with his fucking vacuum lungs.
Beep beep all through the night.
Yeah, baby, all through the night now, baby.
It's a little pitchy, dog.
Do we have another game?
Yeah, every time I've tried to say it,
there's another riff, so I just
back off and wait.
But also, now I got
interested in looking something up, so keep doing
what you guys are doing.
What are you looking up?
I'm looking up House Party.
Oh, Immature, Martin Lawrence,
T-Boss. I'm just trying to make sure
that nobody in House Party
was in Deer Hunter.
Bobby Duvall
was in both films.
Fucking Robin Harris
is who we were trying to think of.
Great comic.
Yeah,
was in that movie.
Rest in peace,
Robin Harris.
All right.
Let's play the Leonard Martin game.
Woo!
Are you going to rock,
paper, scissors on that last round?
It's all you, man.
So, who won that game?
Owen Geyer won that game.
Cleaned up.
Cleaned up with one answer.
I could have kept going.
Yeah, oh, sure.
I bet you could have.
Yeah.
So we're going to start with you and the Leonard Maltin game
and then we'll go to Sean and then to...
Lance Henriksen.
That's not the right answer
and you're guessing too early.
Sorry.
I doubt there'll ever be a movie
called Lance Henriksen.
But we'll go to Sean and then to Tony
and you get to pick a category in Gaio.
And you get to choose between
celebrating a birthday today,
Tyrese Gibson.
People mix us up all the time.
The films of Tyrese Gibson or Sean Jordan.
Is that category.
Then as suggested on Twitter by Nick Baldwine,
Birdmen, Birdmen,
and that's movies with Russell Crowe or John Hawks or both.
And then a lingering category I can't wait to get rid of
called Inherent Lice,
and that's summer camp movies.
Which one of those would you like to play in, Gaio?
I like the Birdman.
All right.
I think that's the one.
All right.
Russell Crowe.
Some of you are not entertained by my choice.
So Russell Crowe and Josh Hawks?
I don't know Josh Hawks.
John Hawks.
John Hawks.
What was he in?
Academy Award nominated.
If he tells you things he's been in,
that might be an answer.
I know.
That's an unfair question.
Don't yell things out.
Or even say them quietly.
Just zip it.
Think them to yourselves.
Yeah, just in your head, just go, I'm so smart.
I've been doing that this whole time.
Everyone at your table will totally believe you if you're like, I knew it right away.
They'll totally believe you.
Tap it out in Morse code.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie that has either Russell Crowe or John Hawks or both.
2007 is the year, he says.
It's a tasty vintage.
Somebody just finished a handjob
right when you said 2007 was the year.
Ooh.
You couldn't have possibly been going ooh for 2007.
It's a twist. It's a twist.
It's a twist.
What kind of weird-ass handjob ends in ooh?
The best kind.
Why did that come out of there?
The kind you didn't know you were going to get, dude.
Those are the best ones.
Or maybe it just started.
Yeah, but that would be at the beginning.
You'd be surprised you're getting it.
You wouldn't be surprised at the end of it.
Screaming at me doesn't really help.
Look at me!
I don't know when that
ever solved a problem was, but okay.
Let's keep yelling at me.
I'm personally jealous.
I wish I could come
every time I heard the word 2007.
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh! 2007! 2007
pardon my mess
alright baby
alright
this has gone on long enough
just say the word already
2007
I just washed my hair dude
Now I have to go shave my head
I have to go get a buzz now
I feel like I'm going to be stuck to this stool now
I'm going to keep my hair though
In a mason jar and think of you
Every New Year's I'm going to think of you
2007 and what a good day it was
Two buck? Too much? Fine
Three stars from Leonard
2007 Whoa Too much? Fine. Three stars from Leonard.
2007.
Ooh.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Oh, shit, I'm sorry I said it again.
Yeah, there's the... Bring two mops.
You need a trigger warning.
Mops?
Mops?
Mops to clean up, because the guy...
I get it, but I think one would handle two handjobs, right?
What are you blowing over there, kid?
What's going on?
Especially when the second one was seconds
after the first one.
Bring a mop and a Swiffer.
I'd say
mop was probably already still there.
Maybe some cocktail. Two parallel
stories in this
goddamn movie.
Clarence Williams III appears in this film Unbuild.
And Leonard lists five...
Oh, that was tricky.
Six...
20 names.
20 damn names 20 actually I have 20 kids
I thought I had 5 for a second
Yeah 20 names
How many will it take you to figure it out
15
That's a super sweet opening bid
Thank you
Here in the nation
The nation's the state's capital.
Sean.
Look at me, look at me.
13?
13. This is lucky 13,
Tony. Well, you know,
I've never really completely
understood exactly how
this part works
but if you're gonna say
that you have 20
that's gotta mean that it's a pretty
you know
secret movie, right?
I would go the other way, somebody snorted at that
Secret?
It's a secret movie?
You don't understand this game
on a whole new level
Like I mean a hard movie It seems like it's gonna be tough movie? You don't understand this game on a whole new level.
Like, I mean, a hard movie.
It seems like it's going to be tough. Like a little misdirect. Like, hey, come over here. It's Russell
Crowe. And then no. And then the girl actually
dies at the end, like in real life.
One of those kind of movies.
So this is the part where I either say less than 12
or I say name it, right?
12 or less. Yeah, he said 13.
Oh. 12 is a lot Yeah, he said 13. Oh.
12 is a lot of names.
But 13... Hey.
Might not be enough.
He's got it.
He's got this.
But if I say 12,
then I have to name it, right?
Only if the guy who challenges you,
he may bid lower.
I wouldn't want to give a guy 12 names.
Give a guy 12 something.
I'll say 12.
He says 12.
See, there you go. That's what happens.
Some real play going on here.
I don't know if I trust this category.
I'm not fucking around.
We might not even get back to you.
Name it.
Oh, shit.
I saw fear deep in the eyes. Well, it might not even get back to you. Name it. Yeah, there you go. Oh, shit.
Guy who gets ten names.
I saw fear deep in the eyes.
Or did you?
This movie's got Russell Crowe or John Hawks or both.
Three stars from Leonard.
2007.
This movie has two parallel stories.
He also says that Clarence Williams III appears on Build.
And your ten names are John Pulito, Katie Strickland, Roger Bart, Carla Gugino.
Strange Days?
You know you can hear all ten names before making a rash choice to say the wrong title, right?
No, I was just thinking a song in my head.
There's no rush.
Sorry, Carla Gugino. You can hear all ten names.
Wait.
Okay, go ahead.
Tip Harris,
a.k.a. T.I.
Oh, right.
Tip Harris.
Common.
Joe Norton.
Armando Asante.
And Yul Vasquez.
Oh, wait, one more.
Ted Levine.
2007?
Mm-hmm.
Is that the one with Harrison Fuller?
No.
Wait.
You know it, huh?
I don't know.
It's like, what has T.I. been in, you know what I mean?
And Common.
That's right.
At the same time.
I think.
I can't remember either one of these fools being in it.
I don't think you're going to get it. I have, but I can't remember either one of these fools being in it. I don't think you're gonna get it.
I have a guess.
What's the... No, that's
Josh Hartnock.
Josh Hartnock,
and that was also Jeopardy that you were just...
I'm not having a stroke, you guys.
I'm okay. Josh Hartthrob,
it should have been.
Carla Gugino in
I don't know,
L.A. Confess Story.
That's not a terrible guess.
Turns out John Hawks
and Russell Crowe
were both in this.
Russell Crowe, of course,
was second build
and the motion picture
is called American Gangster.
T.I. was in American Gangster?
American Gangster, yeah, yeah.
And the reason I got
Thrown off
Counting the names
Is Cuba Gooding
And Junior
Are separate
Like Junior is another person
Because it's Cuba Gooding
Comma Junior
Yeah yeah
But Josh Brolin
Damn
Do you say Cuba?
I said Cuba
But Cuba
I don't know
I say Cuba
What do you say?
Mr. Gooding Junior
Excuse me Mr. Gooding Junior
We just met
Idris Elba is in this.
Anyway, so who challenged who there?
Sean challenged.
So Sean gets a point.
Woo, Sean!
Damn.
I should know that.
There's black people in there.
Happy Kwanzaa, everybody.
That's like saying I should know it because there's white people in there, though.
Don't you?
I didn't.
The good news
is we get to start with Tony again.
That is good news.
Yay.
So Tony gets to pick the next category,
and then we'll go to
Sean and then to
Ngayo, and
you get to choose between
Spoiler Alert,
which of course
is movies where someone gets hit by a car.
Of course.
Duh.
At ask underscore Jeremy.
Is that you over there?
Nice.
Suggested sack punchline.
And sack punchline
is movies where someone gets hit
in the groin and then does a line of coke.
Nice.
That's real?
Like immediately after getting hit
or is there space in between?
I don't know.
There's apparently
more than three or four people.
I don't know if the order is right.
I'm just going with what Jeremy
you know, Jeremy's spoken
and
I'm going to trust
that he's right about this.
I loved when he said woo
in the corner that you asked if that's him
like if it wasn't, like if it was
just some guy that was following some random
guy and was like, woo!
You'd be surprised.
2007.
And a reptile
dysfunction.
Reptile dysfunction
is a movie where an alligator or a crocodile
attacks someone.
So you got hit by a car,
attacked by a croc,
or...
Punch in the nuts and do drugs.
Or, yeah, punch in the nuts and do drugs. Or the, yeah,
punch in the nuts
and then
do a rail.
Is that the sound
you make when you inhale?
Easy, Tommy Lee.
I've never done a rail,
but if I did,
I would definitely
make an elephant sound.
You've never done coke?
Never even tried it, yeah.
Me neither.
Me neither.
Never tried it.
Yeah, we're a bunch
of potheads.
Deal with it
Sorry
Me either
Why, did you want some?
I've never done coke either
So we're all in the same boat
We're all in the no coke boat
We're all in the most boring boat on the waters
Yeah, yeah
Clean boat
Very serene.
Just give me a glass of holy water and send me on my way.
Which category do you like, Tony?
You know, had it been a broader reptile,
I probably would have gone with the reptile one.
I don't know about exactly alligators or crocodiles.
It seems like it's going to be a little bit earlier than my range.
So I'm going to go with the get hit in the balls
and then do a line of coke.
Sack punch line!
Alright, according
to Jeremy, this happened in a movie
from
2001 that Leonard
calls a bomb.
It's a mere 85 minutes.
That's never a good sign.
Leonard calls it
dreadful.
And clumsy in every department.
And he lists seven names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Three.
Tony Hinchcliffe says three names.
Wow. This is
really interesting.
What's happening right now because
Let's go to Mir and go.
You challenged last, right?
Did you say what year?
Uh-huh.
Was it 2007?
2001.
2001?
A space odyssey. Year of Our Lord, 2001. 2001? Mm-hmm. A Space Odyssey.
Year of Our Lord, 2001.
Three names, huh? Mm-hmm.
Don't look away.
Sophomore in high school.
No big deal.
I was already dropped out of college.
Not like a...
Not like a sophomore in high school would want to
go see a movie where somebody
gets hit in the nuts.
That was some mental warfare right there
because I don't know it, so you gotta name it.
I don't know it. He's cocky about
his nut movies. I know.
And if I said two, I wouldn't get it.
So you're saying name it?
I'm saying name it.
When I tell you, Doug, to name
those names. Alright.
I'll give you your three names.
I'm really interested in where this
is going to go. Oh boy.
That's not promising.
Your names are Richard Roundtree,
Fred Ward, and Christopher Penn.
In this movie from 2001 that's dreadful, clumsy in every department,
somebody gets hit in the nuts and does a line of code.
Richard Roundtree, yeah.
Fred Ward. What do you think,
Tony?
You gonna surprise everyone
with the correct answer?
Oh, fuck.
Just whisper it to me in the winner's circle
in a second.
I'm gonna go with...
Oh, shit.
I'm in big trouble. I'm gonna go with oh shit I'm in big trouble I'm gonna go with
Jackass the movie
nobody's like
that's the weirdest guess
I've ever heard
first of all
it's Johnny Knoxville
and those other guys
in that movie
Richard Roundtree
isn't in
I don't know
fucking Jackass movie.
What were the other names, though?
And nobody yell it out if you would.
Fred Ward and Christopher Penn.
No, I know, but since that's wrong,
what were the other names?
Wait, can I take a guess?
Really?
It's not Shaft.
No, it's not Shaft.
Why would Richard Roundtree be seventh build?
Who the fuck is Richard Roundtree?
I don't know who that is.
He was the original Shaft.
Fucker.
Oh, was he really?
Yes, shut your mouth.
We're talking about Shaft.
I can dig it.
Close it yourself, shitty.
Zero idea.
But this movie also starred Peter Berg,
Peter Falk, Vanessa Shaw,
and Chris Kattan
as Corky Romano.
Corky Romano does a line of coke?
I can't imagine it's Corky.
I guarantee you that this guy's
got it wrong. The guy that gets hit in the balls
does not do a line of coke in Corky Romano
or I'd remember that, you son of a bitch.
You're not a son of a bitch.
Thanks for the W. Well, or I'd remember that. You son of a bitch. You're not a son of a bitch. Thanks for the W.
I appreciate it.
Well, Sean is our winner regardless.
So congratulations to Heidi.
Come get your prize bag, Heidi.
I haven't won in a while.
Granted, it was by default.
Good job.
Come grab it right up.
I'd hand it to you, but I'm not a gentleman.
It's very heavy.
Do you want your name tag back, Heidi?
Nah, she doesn't care.
Yeah, I like it.
Oh, congratulations, Heidi.
She's very happy.
Happy Heidi.
And you other two gentlemen, pass me your name tags,
because there should be shitheads on the back of those things
for me to declare at the end of the show.
Since that ended so quickly,
we've got a couple extra minutes.
Should we play another game really quick?
Yep.
Man, I can't believe it.
It's Corky Romano.
Did you have a game in mind?
You probably did, huh?
Why? Do you have a game in mind? You probably did, huh? Yeah, why?
Do you have a game in mind?
Well, I like, I forget what it's called,
but I like the one where we name.
Last Man Stanton, that's what we're going to play.
Fix.
Really blew it last time, so.
How does this one work?
I'll tell you what happened last time we played it.
So you name an actor and you name movies they're in.
Last time I was on, it was Danny DeVito
and I said Home Alone.
So I'm thrilled to play it again.
Hopefully not fuck up that day.
Can you imagine how funny it'd be
if there was more movies
where Danny DeVito and Joe Pesci flipped?
I'd love to see what it looks like.
If Danny DeVito was in Casino
stabbing somebody to death.
Joe Pesci's the penguin. Or like. If David DeVito was in Casino stabbing somebody to death. Or better yet,
if DeVito was in Goodfellas
and that looking up scene
where DeVito
is just Italian kicking somebody.
It's just DeVito
kicking some guy's fucking head in.
Breathing way too hard.
This is tricky for me to do.
Alright, so we're going to play Last Man Stanton. Breathing way too hard. Like, man, this is tricky for me to do. Weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep.
All right, so we're going to play Last Man Stanton.
They're probably at the audition together.
And we're going to start with Sean, and then go to Tony, and then I'm going to play, too.
And then to you, Ungayo.
All right.
And we're going to do the films of Danny DeVito.
It's sort of unfair.
Like, I just got to do that.
What do you mean?
I was still sitting on stage when... Huh?
Never mind.
We weren't playing Danny DeVito.
We were playing Joe Pesci, weren't we?
No, we were playing Danny DeVito.
Oh, let's do Joe Pesci then.
Okay.
Let's do the one we didn't do that day when you fucked up. That's what I just said. It's unfair if we do Danny DeVito again Oh, let's do Joe Pesci then. Okay. Let's do the one we didn't do that day when you fucked up.
That's what I just said.
It's unfair if we do Danny DeVito again.
Yeah, let's do Pesci.
Yeah, let's do Pesci.
All right, Pesci.
You made me feel like I'm crazy.
It was Danny DeVito that I messed up.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, Danny DeVito's not in Home Alone.
I know that, Doug.
I'm aware.
You're going to start with Home Alone?
And if he was in Home Alone
he would have played
Kevin
they fucking left me alone
they end up duking it out
in the front yard
it would have just been loud
it wasn't really
a great impression
just he'd do it louder
that was an impression?
That's what happens when that guy hears 2007, I think.
All right, Sean, name a Pesci movie.
Casino.
Okay.
One person likes Casino.
Tony, any movie that features Joe Pesci.
Good Fellas.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. I'm going to go ahead and get it out of the way.
Home Alone.
I let Sean go first and he didn't say it.
My Cousin Vinny.
Oh, My Cousin Vinny.
Home Alone 2, Lost in New York
My heart's beating fast
because that's the last one I know
It really is
My heart's beating fast
Tony
is my name
and
my mother named me that.
Joe Pesci.
One of my favorites.
So it brings me great joy.
Joy Pesci.
His sister.
She's a saint, that girl.
If you know what I mean.
When I say the name of the movie.
That they call.
And by they, I mean... Us.
You got one?
My cousin Vinny, too, lost in New York.
Sorry, Tony.
Nice try, though.
I'm going to go with
Lethal Weapon 2.
What?
Doc.
He doesn't start in 2?
I think he does.
You're wrong.
I think he starts in 2.
He starts in 2.
Yeah, he's in 2.
I don't know.
Because what's new in two
if it's not Pesci? What's different about it?
Nothing.
So same two guys.
This guy's pushing me
on this. Doug, this guy looks like a huge
Lethal Weapon 3 fan.
I don't know if you want to do that.
I'm not going to mess with somebody
who's that into that movie.
Because he will murder me right here and now. Which one's the one with...
I don't know what you're doing right now,
but don't talk about other movies.
Let's concentrate on
was he in Lethal Weapon 2?
Was he in Lethal Weapon 2?
That's what we're going to answer right now.
Attitudy Judy over here can't handle a little side conversation.
Attitudy Judy, she's a galaxy girl.
A little side conversation.
Yeah, of course.
He's third bill.
Shut the fuck up.
All right.
He did make me think about it, though.
Oh, maybe they held off Pesci till three.
But anyway.
I'll go Lethal Weapon three.
Yeah, that's a good answer.
I'm saving my secret ones.
Lethal Weapon 4?
Yeah, you get it in.
You had a small part.
You can have it.
You can have it.
I took it.
As well you should.
Good takings, good happens.
Did you just look up all the films of Joe Pesci?
You did.
No, I just looked up that one specifically.
But then of course it said three and four
right under it. I saw that thumb.
You guys
snapped those up.
You snapped it and you slapped it.
Good fellas, too.
Lost in New York.
Like more lost. Like deep in New York.
Too lost. Like hella lost.
Good fellas, three. Mad lost.
Fucking lost. What fucking street
are you on? I don't even know if
I'm in New York anymore.
My turn.
The Super. God damn it.
That was the one I had. I was saving
that one. That's the one I had loaded. I was saving it.
Alright, so you got nothing in Gaia?
Wait a minute. Did somebody already say Casino?
Yeah. Yes.
Was that the first one? Yeah, I said it. Yeah, it was pretty early on, already say Casino? Yeah. Was that the first one?
Yeah, I said it. Yeah, it was pretty early on.
Casino 2, Lost in New York.
No.
Wait, there's another one.
There's like 50 more.
That one, he was in that one.
He's been in some movies.
Another one, he played a guy in The Thing.
Don't look at me. All I know is Lost in New York.
This is so fucking upsetting.
Eight heads in a duffel bag?
Oh, dog.
Yeah.
Yes.
Exactly.
That's how you get ants.
As long as one of us
is still playing.
Wow.
All right, Sean,
what do you got?
Give me like 30 seconds.
Right, booting, booting.
It's like you have RAM.
By the way, I just want to say...
I'm all about floppy disks.
While he's thinking...
For memory.
While he's thinking about his answer,
I just want to say that every time I hear the movie title
Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag,
it always reminds me of the one time
that I got head inside of a Duffel Bag. It always reminds me of the one time that I got head inside
of a duffel bag.
Me and my girlfriend flew in an
overhead bin.
You and your eight girlfriends.
Is this some sort of weird sex trafficking ring?
Is that how you got here? How do you get in a duffel
bag in an overhead bin?
And the girlfriend that I use in jokes
when it's necessary.
I don't know. I don't have one.
Small world.
I could sit here and waste time, but I don't have one.
All right, Sean's out.
Look at how quick that was.
I'm going to go with going fishing.
With Danny Glover.
Gone fishing, she says.
Is it gone or going?
Yeah, so I'm out.
You're out?
So I won?
Yeah, you won.
Woo!
Thank you.
Because I was just about out of...
That's thrilling.
I think that was the last one.
Yeah, nobody really won anything.
What did we leave out, you guys?
JFK, of course.
All right.
Easy money with honors.
What about Ruthless People? Was that Danny DeVito?. What about Ruthless People?
Was that Danny DeVito?
Who was in Ruthless People?
Was either one of them in Ruthless People?
Good shepherd.
Hey, Amy Adams girl, do you have any?
Yeah, that's...
Pitch perfect.
Pitch perfect?
No, he wasn't in it.
What?
Raging fucking bull.
Raging fucking bull.
Wow.
We're terrible.
What a bunch of dummies.
Did you fuck my wife?
Not only did we not say
Raging Bull, the audience
almost didn't say Raging Bull.
Even the audience was slow on Raging Bull. The audience almost didn't say Raging Bull. Yeah, even the audience was slow on Raging Bull.
But good job, eventually.
Tony Hitchcliffe,
what do you got coming up, man? What are we looking
for? Well, you know about New Year's
Eve tomorrow night. We do. Bronx Tales.
I don't even remember if he's in that. He's not in a
Bronx Tale. He's not in a Bronx Tale. He is?
He's in a Bronx Tale. And Chaz Palminteri.
And that's it? What does he do?
Oh, my God.
He does.
Joe Pesci gets beat with a baseball bat a lot.
Yes, twice.
Including in Casino.
Casino and Bronx tale.
Which wasn't once mentioned tonight.
I'm headlining
Denver Comedy Works
this weekend
after all that stuff.
Oh, there you go.
I'm going to Stockholm, Sweden
with Rogan
in the middle of January.
Wow, this lady's Swedish.
Oh, the lady's into Sweden
over there.
And I'm doing
a bunch of other crazy stuff.
Going to Vegas
at the end of January.
Just follow me on Twitter and stay tuned with everything that I'm doing a bunch of other crazy stuff. Going to Vegas at the end of January. Just follow me on Twitter and stay tuned
with everything that I'm doing. It's amazing.
I'm getting rich.
Sean Jordan, what do you got coming up, buddy?
New Year's tomorrow
at Helium in Portland and then January
21st with W. Kamau Bell
at the Hollywood Theater in Portland.
I run a show called Funny Over Everything
that we book in Portland every month or so.
And so, yeah, go to Twitter.
Sean S. Jordan, I think, on Twitter.
You think?
I'm pretty sure.
It's different on Twitter and Instagram.
So I think it's Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.
I think it is, too.
Thanks, buddy.
I confirm it.
Thanks, man.
Thank you, guys.
You guys are all fucking awesome.
New Year's Eve here at the Punchline.
One show, 7.30.
January 8th through the 10th at the Improv in Atlanta with Brian Pessain.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Lovely.
Ooh.
Ooh.
It'll be like 2007 all over.
Yeah.
January 15th at the Tulalip Casino
in northern Seattle-ish area.
And then look for me
in February.
Oh, the end of January
in Reno and Carson City
and then in mid-February
at the International
Cannabis Business Conference
at the Hyde Regency
in San Francisco.
Ooh.
You know.
I'll be in Seattle
this Saturday
at 4.20
at Parlor Live downtown. All of my dates and dates and links are at douglosmovies.com. Thank in Seattle this Saturday at 4.20 at Parlor Live downtown.
All of my dates and dates and links are at douglosmovies.com.
Thank you to all of my guests.
Tony looks like he has something else to say.
I forgot to say the most important thing,
which is check out my podcast, Kill Tony,
which is like if you love stand-up comedy
half as much as you guys love movies,
you'll fucking love that show.
Doug's done it quite a few times.
You love my show, right?
Say it on your podcast so that people listen.
I mentioned it earlier, but I'll say it again.
Kill Tony is in my top 700 podcasts.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
One more time for Tony Hitch to Sean Jordan
and Ngayu Bilem. Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, we got it.
Yeah, you guys, it's okay. You can go.
Thank you to everybody who came out tonight and the holiday taint,
and thank you to the Punchline
for hosting these shows here,
and it's always a good time
at the How About Art and Mall.
And as always,
and I'm totally,
everything's cool between me and Natalia.
As always,
migraine headaches are a shithead
and dumb and dumber too
is a shithead and dumb and dumber too is a shithead now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie
eyes of gold
his viewing prowess
makes him cocky
this is not
what they're looking for
you
because
Doug
Doug
movie