Doug Loves Movies - Tony Hinchcliffe, Tim Brennan, Ken Reid and "Mark Wahlberg" guest

Episode Date: October 9, 2016

Live from the Wilbur Theatre in Boston, Doug welcomes Tony Hinchcliffe, Tim Brennan, Ken Reid and "Mark Wahlberg" to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California ...Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid-fired corn kernels in his teeth They're still not born, then he won't see Because Doug loves movies Is that better? I just want everything to be... Oh shit, this is going to be bad. I'm all tangled up. Hey, everybody, my name is Doug, and I love movies.
Starting point is 00:00:50 This is I Love Movies! Coming to you, once again, from the Wilbur Theatre in Boston! Austin! I'm gonna spill that before the show's over. That's for damn sure. The old drink of a music stand. That's not gonna work out. It's Saturday, October 8th, 2016. Let me see your massive name tags, Massive Achusetts. I knew you'd have some big ones.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Say any who? Say Benny thing. Say Benny thing, because your name is Benny. Andy and Christy make a porno. Which one are you? The girl one? That's cool. Kate Riott's day?
Starting point is 00:01:50 I get it. Katriot's day. Chris Army Man. I get that one. Instead of Swiss. Mad Meg instead of Max. Somebody with just a big IMBD sign. What's your actual name? Ben DeRoche. Ben DeRoche, everybody. with just a big IMBD sign.
Starting point is 00:02:06 What's your actual name? Ben DeRoche. Ben DeRoche, everybody. There's a guy with a box of donuts proudly displayed. Yeah, and there's some light-up ones, too. This is great. Are there any up in the balcony? All right, well, good luck.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Hopefully my guests have some Sherpas that'll help them scale the heights to the balcony area and pick a name tag. Doug plugs. Doug Loves Movies returns to the Meltdown Comics in L.A. this Monday night, October 10th. Getting Doug with High goes live again this Wednesday, I think at 115 Pacific, which would be one time here, 415.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Right in the pocket. That's you guys. That's on my YouTube channel. Doug Loves Movies is coming to Charlotte, North Carolina next Saturday, October 15th at the Comedy Zone at 420. And then Tacoma, Washington,
Starting point is 00:03:08 October 22nd. San Francisco, October 27th. Anaheim, October 29th. Minneapolis, November 5th. And lots more. Lots more dates to come. Go to Douglovesmovies.com. Go! Go!
Starting point is 00:03:23 I hope everyone in Georgia and Florida and all the other states in the path of a hurricane, I guess now it's a tropical storm, Matthew, did they downgrade it? Is everybody all right? Their power's out. You can still listen to podcasts when your power's out, right? I guess you wouldn't be able to download it in the first place. I guess you could do it on your phone.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Great story, Doug. What's in the prize bag? We've got Phil Bill Volume One. You've heard about it for weeks. You're sick of hearing about it. Somebody's gonna get one. I got some sausage party stuff still. This is the Kristen Wiig character.
Starting point is 00:04:12 The bun that looks like a vagina. I just grabbed this doll by its face. Donald Trump style. Don't let Trump stop it. We got a koozie that says Cool Head Tech on it, whatever that is. Ooh, I saw School of Rock on Broadway again, so this is the sippy cup that I drank from, and also the cup that I smuggled weed in to come here to Boston. I was on At Midnight recently. Now I'm tied for most wins of all time, so I'm
Starting point is 00:04:48 excited about that. Ron Funches is going to be on again next week, and he'll win again, and he'll be in the lead again. I don't know why I bother. But I should just go out there and have fun and not worry about it. But they always give me this game Linky, so I'm
Starting point is 00:05:04 giving away another copy of that. I think I got this. It's kind of a cool loot crate, DC Comics Joker painted wooden figure. It moves and stuff. I got that, I think, at the
Starting point is 00:05:19 Bruce Campbell Horror Film Festival. I might not have been there. I got this on a flight recently. It's a little bag they give you with some toothpaste and a small toothbrush in it. And a Douglas Movies t-shirt. Plus, stuff brought by my guests.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Please give a big, warm welcome to Ken Reed, Tim Brennan, and Tony Hinchcliffe! These mic cords are coiled snake-like under the chairs. Yeah, they're very professional here. They do a great job with that. I'm very happy to come back. Let's say hi to the newbie first. Never been on the program before,
Starting point is 00:06:21 but pretty known to Boston audiences, I'd imagine, as the lead guitarist of Drop Kick Murphys. It's Tim Brennan, everybody. Hello. Hello, Boston. Thank you. Pleasure to be here. So psyched to have you on the show.
Starting point is 00:06:44 We've been friends since i met you at a music concert it was a was it the first time we met was in philadelphia at the uh thing there yeah that's right yeah wmr had a rock afternoon and uh uh dropkick orifice played and we hung out it was lovely uh and uh i was lovely. I bet you guys got stoned at that. You think? Yeah. I bet you guys smoked pots. Actually, we
Starting point is 00:07:14 watched Jurassic Park on the bus and ate pizza and Doug might have taken a nap for a minute. It's like getting stoned without the actual drugs. I don't remember any of that. But yeah, so thank you for being on the show. You're a movie buff, so you
Starting point is 00:07:33 think you'll be okay in the game portion of the show? Yeah, I mean obviously it depends on the category and, you know, actor question or whatever, but it's entirely possible it could go my way. Today I'm going mostly with Irish boxing films. Let's just wrap it up right now.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Okay. Also joining us, headlining here tonight at the Wilbur, great timing, it's Tony Hinchcliffe, everybody. Fuck yeah. Yeah. It's Tony Hinchcliffe everybody Good to be here as always Doug. Yeah, it's a great coinkydink that you have a show later. Is anybody coming back to see Tony's? Wow, that's a huge crossover. I knew there'd be a big crossover. I I had two shows the rest of you You know, you should think about it. Tickets on sale right after the show, 7pm. Yeah, did you hear those people outside of there? You should be too.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Get your shit together, Boston. There's stuff on the stage all of a sudden. Yeah. Yeah, you know, your poster, you can take that back, but I got it. This just looks too fancy to ignore. I'm going to talk about it after we meet our third guest today
Starting point is 00:08:48 because he's been on the show before. I just finally did his podcast, TV Guidance Counselor. Let's hear it for Ken Reed, everybody. Boston Comedy Phenom. You're good at the games. This is going to be a competitive day today. I'm here to win. I'm here to win.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Yeah, I think it's going to be exciting. But look at this. Somebody made a really nice bag. It's nicer than this piece of shit CVS bag I brought. A really nice bag that's got the logo, but they changed it to Doug Loves Prizes. Wow. And it's got a cute little prize at the end.
Starting point is 00:09:24 A prize that spits urine apparently. There's a little yellow... I don't know what that's supposed to be. But no, it's just a delightful prize and then the bag has got another bag in it. That's a prize. I'm gonna keep that one. That's fucking crazy. You don't need a bag in a bag. Oh, wait, and then there's another bag. Wow. It's like a clown car for bags. Merry weapons. Wow, I wonder what's in those bags.
Starting point is 00:09:54 Well, you guys, this is the show. They're wound up. Yeah, it's just an unboxing. It's an unbagging. You gave someone who's potentially high bags within bags. Do you understand how dangerous that is? I love that you even qualified it with potentially high. Well I didn't wanna, I didn't wanna intervene.
Starting point is 00:10:12 There's a chance with Doug Walks on stage at 422 that he just came from the hotel. Well you did drive a school bus here full of children so I had hopes. This is gonna be just a nightmare transforming everything. But that's very nice of you. Does the person who gave me this stuff, do you want to be acknowledged by name? I'm good. You're good? Wow. I'll take my answer off the air.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Just a silent benefactor. Just making specialized bags for people. There better be a Tony Hinchcliffe bag on the stage when he comes out tonight. Yeah. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, bag man. I like this guy.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Do you own a baggerdashery? I think that's the term for a bag store. I don't know why they made me these bags, but they're really nice. I'll definitely make them future prize bags, but someone's getting one of them tonight, and I'm getting rid of this CVS bag. You've gone from bags to riches. This CVS bag can go audition for American Beauty 2. I'll never get tired of that reference.
Starting point is 00:11:23 All right. What did you guys bring for the bag? Let's go down the line. Ken's got the most bulky bag. I do get a bulky bag. Thank you. First of all, I have the TV guide that Doug and I discussed on my show that comes from Doug's personal collection. This is the 2000 full preview.
Starting point is 00:11:39 So that's going in there. Yeah. We talked about all this shit. We talked about the Michael Richards show, the Geena Davis show. Yeah. John Goodman puts his hand on his face show. Yeah, that's John Goodman as a grown-up Kevin McAllister. That was a very short-lived Home Alone show.
Starting point is 00:11:55 There's a show of a shirt from Skeksis from The Dark Crystal. Oh, that's pretty nice. That's a good thing. I have a... I'm going to hang on to this. You can keep that. I have a copy of my album. Jesus, it's Skeksie fur all over the top. I was about to say, it's covered in dog hair, so you get to take that home with you as well.
Starting point is 00:12:07 My dog's been sleeping on that shirt for about six months. I forgot to... He was pissed that I took it on the way out of the house, but you can have that. Covered in slobber. Copy of my album and some pins here. You got to say the name of the album. It's called The Vanity Project Volumes. It's a little bit of a...
Starting point is 00:12:15 It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a...
Starting point is 00:12:23 It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... It's a little bit of a... but you can have that. Covered in slobber. Copy of my album and some pins here. You gotta say the name of the album. It's called The Voting Project, Volume 1, Hollywoodland. Available where all digital music and comedy is sold. This is a press kit from the movie Hard Bodies that I think you will enjoy. I have a set of lobby cards
Starting point is 00:12:43 from the John Ritter movie Hero at Large. It's pretty exciting. I have a script from the film Hero at Large starring John Ritter. If you want to reenact scenes from Hero at Large with John Ritter, if you're not a fan of that, there's a script from Outside Providence and one from Doc Hollywood. Jesus, fancy bags over here. Why'd you bring everything you own?
Starting point is 00:13:10 Oh God, this is not even... And then there's some posters from some 80s titty movies, including one with Pamela Adlon in which she turns into a boy, called I Was a Teenage Boy. So, enjoy that, everybody. Okay. Has anybody ever won the show right after exposing their bag? Because that's an amazing bag. I'd like to see the process of you standing over that giant pile of shit that you have in your house. Yeah, cause dude's been to my house.
Starting point is 00:13:37 While you're going through and selecting what's good enough to keep. I'll tell you how it works. And what's good enough to give away as a prize? It's what's on the top layer. Oh, I forgot. You forgot the Problem Child 2. The crown jewel. Visor.
Starting point is 00:13:55 That's amazing. I wanted that to be a little Easter egg in there. It's a Problem Child 2 promotion. I'm one of Donald Trump's advisors. I feel like the kid from Problem Child'm one of Donald Trump's advisors. Yes. I feel like the kid from Problem Child would work for Donald Trump if he were able to do so. Yeah, I just take the top layer of stuff in my house
Starting point is 00:14:14 so I can get to my socks. This is clearly the dog's bed that you brought today. Yep. What do you got for the bag there, Tim? I have a handful of Dropkick Murphy stuff. I have a... Thank you. You don't have to see what it is yet.
Starting point is 00:14:31 It might be their garbage records. I have a vinyl copy of our latest album, Signed and Sealed and Blooded. It has the song Rose Tattoo on it. The boys are back. As well as our Christmas song, The Season's Upon Us, which is
Starting point is 00:14:49 hilarious. I also have... I was listening to the covers channel on SiriusXM, and you guys did a cover of Bruce Springsteen's song. That's true, we did. Which one was it?
Starting point is 00:15:05 Probably Badlands. Yes. Yeah. Uh, that's a perfect lead in. I have a, I have, yeah,
Starting point is 00:15:11 point. I have a, uh, moot as hell these days, CD copy of, uh, going out in style, which is our record that has Bruce Springsteen on it,
Starting point is 00:15:24 singing out a song. I have a Christmas ornament that says, Merry Christmas, you bastards, on it. That'll be nice on the tree. And then I have a, I got a t-shirt celebrating our 20 years as a band recently. And then I have a hat signed by legendary Boston Bruins player Bobby Orr. And then the creme de la creme, I have a handful of stickers that say Hanks for President on them. With a picture of Tom Hanks. You can have those. Put them up wherever you like. Well, it seems like...
Starting point is 00:16:09 It's the movie Oddballs. Everyone remembers that film. It's the summer camp movie. Let's see what the tagline was for Oddballs. The summer camp where the nuts are on the loose. Yep. Oddballs.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Fantastic video store staple odd balls shot in Canada. It's hard to pull off testicle humor. It just doesn't appeal to anyone. Alright, what do you got for us there, Tony? Tough to compete with Bobby Orr autographs, ball caps, and whatnot. Who likes the Boston Red Sox, huh?
Starting point is 00:16:51 Yeah, me too. I have a glow stick here. I never use this. I went to Joshua Tree a couple weeks ago with some friends, some of the best comedians in the world, and this is an uncracked glow stick that was with me when I did Mushrooms with some of the best up-and-coming comedians in the world and this is an uncracked glow stick that was with me when I did mushrooms with some of the best up-and-coming comedians on
Starting point is 00:17:07 the planet. I have some really good snacks in here. Lenny and Larry's complete cookie. Some great fancy LA snacks just flew in today. This deck of cards here is a real deck of cards. It says Aristocrat on it. This is a deck of cards that's been played on by you know, Joe Rogan, Jeff Ross, Sarah Silverman. You guys like Bobby Orr? Huh? I
Starting point is 00:17:35 played with this deck of cards. So it's a great deck of cards. Sometimes having fun playing cards, your mouth can get parched. That's why I always bring a can of tonic water to every Doug Loves Movies that I go to. Everybody loves it. The water's refreshing, but the tonic makes you feel like there's a little bit of
Starting point is 00:17:51 a party going on there. And also, automatically, if you win, you get seven free tickets to my show at 7 p.m. tonight. Seven free tickets. Seven tickets, so you gotta make some friends. You gotta loaders come to my show.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Pass that stuff down, dude. I brought some of the fucking Oh no! Austin, where you at? This isn't true. I assume he's with you, Tim. I can't believe it. This is the third show in a row Mark Wahlberg is... I hate to use the Denzel movie to describe you, but you're unstoppable.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Fuckin' A't a fuckin' idea. I mean, what brings you to Boston seems like a silly question. You probably just come home every time you get a chance, right? No. Tommy B's back in town for the Patriots and I'm back too, baby. Let's do this shit. Sorry, do you think I'm gonna let you have a competition in my town and me not be here to fucking win it? Whoa, he's throwing it down, gentlemen. That's actually a law in Boston. It's not him. You gotta throw it down? If there's a competition, Mark Wahlberg has to participate. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Menino passed that. He died. Oh, what do you got for the prize pay? How you guys doing? You doing good? Something normal people do? It's a pumpkin decorating kit. And if you've had some legal troubles and you can't own a knife,
Starting point is 00:20:00 it's just little stickers you can put on. I thought you were gonna say it's a disguise you can use if you have legal troubles. You're trying to get out of town. That works too. Okay. It's pretty much just stickers you can put on anything. Doesn't really have to be a pumpkin. This is like a business dad gift, you know? Dropped into the airport gift shop and picked it up. I've touched it so it's worth a lot more money than whatever it's worth.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Well, thank you for being here, man. You're welcome. Deep Water Horizon. Fucking A. In theaters now. Fucking, we beat the shit out of the ocean. I don't think that's the purpose. That's it. I'll fight the ocean that whole fucking
Starting point is 00:20:48 movie. Okay. Maybe that's the problem. You should be helping the ocean. We helped it too, but it started at first. Gotta break it down to build it up, though. Alright, that's another good point. So I've been toying with the idea of doing on the show a segment where I just sort of like talk with my guests about movies where
Starting point is 00:21:13 dogs are mistreated. Wait, the movies they're mistreated or dogs are mistreated while you talk to us about movies? Yeah, we don't bring out a dog. I mean it. Just wanted to make sure I knew what I was agreeing to. No, it's anti... You know how, like, I just have friends that they just wish they'd have known about a dog dying or being treated badly in a movie because they would just not see that movie.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Or at least prepare themselves for the situation. How many different movies have you covered on this thing? How many movies have dogs get beat up? Oh, it's crazy how often dogs get fucked up. Because since I started thinking about it, I've seen maybe three or four movies where if I were a dog nut, I'd be beside myself. And I love dogs, so I'm not happy about it. But I understand why it's used for dramatic purposes. And that dogs don't really get killed.
Starting point is 00:22:05 But still some people don't want to see it. So a guy named Zombie Studio suggested that I call the segment K911, which was not part 11 in the Jim Belushi series. All right, maybe K911. But the point is... Starting with you, Ken, I think you may have just suggested one already, but what do you think is a movie that if people haven't seen it, they should be warned that there's some dog trauma? Well, Moonrise Kingdom is a great dramatic movie. Oh, exactly. That's a great example of it.
Starting point is 00:22:39 And I don't know what it is with Wes Anderson and the fucking dog killing. Yeah, every movie. And out of nowhere, you'll get halfway through the movie, and you're like, the dog's, no, he just killed him. Yeah, it's weird. All right, so that's a great example. Don't watch any Wes Anderson movies.
Starting point is 00:22:55 That's the K-9-1-1. See, it's a fun segment. Tim, what's the movie where a dog gets fucked up? I was watching, I mean, it's pretty quick. I was watching No Country for Old Men the other day, and there's the scene where the dog's chasing after him and he has to shoot the thing. And the whole time, you're sort of conflicted.
Starting point is 00:23:17 You know, he's getting ready, he's readying the gun to kill this dog while the thing's running at him. You don't want to kill the dog, but you don't want the dog to kill poor, good the thing's running at him. You don't want him to kill the dog, but you don't want the dog to kill poor, good-looking Josh Brolin either. Yeah, that's a real lose-lose. Yeah. What a choice
Starting point is 00:23:34 between a dog and Josh Brolin. Yeah, exactly. But I mean, off the top of my head, I can't think of... I'm one of those people who changes the channel when the commercials come on. As soon as I see that first poor dog sitting in the snow or whatever. Sarah McLachlan. I'm out of there.
Starting point is 00:23:49 So I'm one of those people who has trouble watching that sort of thing. So you need this segment so you can be warned. I do need to be warned, absolutely. Alright, well give him one, Tony. What movie should he not watch? Does the dog have to get killed?
Starting point is 00:24:03 No. Sometimes the dog will show up later with a cast on its leg and it's cute. You know, you feel okay about it, but I still don't like that. I'm going to take this opportunity to drop one of my favorite movies of this year. I'm not going to go deep at all,
Starting point is 00:24:19 and I'm going to give a shout out to a movie called Don't Breathe. Have you seen this fucking thing? There's lots to spoil in that movie. One really big thing you could spoil in that movie. I'm not going to spoil it then, I guess. Maybe I should have gone with a more historical dog beating. No, but it's good to know that there's some dog activity in Don't Breathe.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Because that's certainly not how it's being sold. It's being sold as a lying guy killing a bunch of kids. Which I'm fine with. Yeah. They're trying to rob him. Kill the fuck out of him. Wait, does the blind guy have a dog? Yep.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Is that the twist? You want to ruin this whole fucking movie? It's all over now. The dog was the actual killer the entire time. The working title was Don't Bark. It started as a Daredevil sequel and... Couldn't get... Speaking of barking...
Starting point is 00:25:22 Barking... Bark? Bark! What's the last, uh, or what's a good example of a dog? Any dogs die in any of your movies? Yeah, fear. Oh, that's right, you kill the dog in fear! I don't fucking kill the dog. Okay?
Starting point is 00:25:41 The dog, a lot of people don't know this, they cut the scene out, the dog was terminally ill and wanted to go. It was a make-a-wish for him, right? I believe that you should choose when you're done. So, that dog went. But it happens in fear. They just left out the part where we, you know, talk about how great his life has been. The dog looks at me. The dog's like, I'm ready to go. I think I'm ready to go right now. But you don't see that in the fucking movie,
Starting point is 00:26:11 so it's a little harsh. Has Donnie chosen when he's going to be done? I'll tell you this, Donnie. Every day I look at him and I'm like, dude, you're like, you just keep kicking, man. You're like a kid lost at sea. You just keep fucking kicking. like you just keep kicking man. You're like a kid lost at sea
Starting point is 00:26:30 You gotta give them that. Is that a Life of Pi reference? No, just a tiger who eats all the other animals though. Call them jungle dogs. Nice So yeah, fear's got one in. But I tell you right away, you see that shit coming, you're like, this fucking asshole dog, it's getting it. That's the way I saw it. Okay, yeah, I guess I should do a whole other version of this, dogs that deserve to die. Oh, yeah, that's...
Starting point is 00:26:58 Now we're doing I mean, they all go to heaven, so it's not a big deal. But... Chomps. I mean, they all go to heaven, so it's no big deal. Chomps. That's a robot dog. My real dog that I didn't like the way how it was treated is in a movie that's kind of entertaining,
Starting point is 00:27:17 but then they ruin it with the being mean to the dog, and it's called the wiener dog. And they do something to the dog just for shock value, and I was just like i actually said i'm not you and i was the only person in the theaters that's why i had that kind of nerve got your point across though that was i really did you were right i heard myself loud and clear nobody else could be confused for getting that fuck you. Yeah. All right, so I'll probably never bring that subject up again.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Oh, man, I had so many in the chamber on that list. I only needed one. But there's lots of classic ones, of course. Yeah. You know, which you sort of know about. But, yeah, that's tricky. I don't like when little kids are messed with either, you know. But for some reason it happens less than the dogs. Like a lot of times the hero's dog, that's the final straw.
Starting point is 00:28:14 You know what I mean? You kill my mom, my girlfriend, and then my dog, and that's where they stand. Because that's the best friend, not those relatives and wives. Well, you choose your dog. You're stuck with the other people. Exactly. We're all in arranged marriages. Arranged marriages, yes. Okay. Let's start down there on the other end with Mark.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Have you seen the movie since I last saw you? What was the last movie you saw? I mean, I went and saw Deepwater Horizon again. Do you, like, jump out and, like, you know, give a special surprise to a few of the audience members? Like, just suddenly say one of the lines right in somebody's ear? No, usually what I'll do, I'll just come at the end so I can join in for the standing ovation. Mark, it's people getting up to leave the theater. The film is over. Well, they're still fucking clapping. Because they think they might turn off if they clap.
Starting point is 00:29:15 I don't want to do that. That movie fucking destroys the ocean. How does it hold up against Perfect Storm, your other water-based movie? I mean, it's pretty fucking good. This one's better because I didn't have to grow a beard so you can see more of my face. And it also doesn't have Clooney trying to fucking hog the screen. Yeah, you really like it. If there's somebody else on the screen with you, it has to be small or a robot.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Yeah, or they die off. The original title for one of my other movies was Everyone Survivor. And I was like, no, these fuckers gotta go. It's based on a real thing. Yeah, dude. Riggins was supposed to live in that movie. And I was like, fuck you, Riggins.
Starting point is 00:29:55 You're dead. Don't you mean John Carter from Mars? I don't know. He was in Varsity Blue Nighttime or whatever the fuck it was. Friday Night Lights. Tony, what was the last movie you saw? Last movie I saw was a little newbie. I don't want to give anything away. It's called Don't Breathe. See, that's how often dogs are getting fucked with, is it's the answer to two questions. Yeah, and that's
Starting point is 00:30:31 why it's the last movie that I've seen, is because after that dog beating in that movie, I'm like... You're not going to see anything else again. Because that's not what I mean by what was the last movie you saw. I don't think it's going to be the last movie you see. Not like last week. For life. I just mean most recent. We're tired from the movie game now.
Starting point is 00:30:47 But yeah, it was Don't Breathe. And I absolutely fucking loved it. I saw a documentary called Tickled. Which is an absolute fucking must see. An absolute must see. What if you don't like being tickled? Is it about Elmo? You're gonna love it.
Starting point is 00:31:00 You're gonna fucking love it. No. There is a Tickle Me Elmo movie. But like a documentary. Have you seen Tickle Me Elmo movie, but like a documentary. Have you seen Tickle, Doug? I haven't. It's the most unbelievable shit. Who's seen it?
Starting point is 00:31:13 It's just about people that like pay money to get tickled? It's got twists that you will not believe. I am the doctor of documentaries, and this is one of the best documentaries I've ever seen in my entire life Tickle you can take that this what's funny about this one is this has more twists and spoilers than Don't breathe, but you absolutely have to see it. Let's put it to you this way There's people that offered people money online like on Craigslist like hey well money hundred bucks get tickled people are like I'm broke as fuck. I need a hundred bucks. I'll do anything. I. Get tickled. People are like, I'm broke as fuck. I need 100 bucks. I'll do anything.
Starting point is 00:31:46 I'll get tickled. I'll go see what this is. I don't really feel right about it. Turns out they videotape you getting tickled for the 100 bucks, but you're already there, so you're like, fuck it. And then they have you and your information and you on video being tickled. And what can they do with that video? Go see the movie.
Starting point is 00:32:06 It's unbelievable. All right. Tim? I want to address this tickling thing real quick. I'm not a big fan of tickling in general, but I don't know if there's anybody here that lives in the Alston Brighton area.
Starting point is 00:32:27 We've got some college students. A couple of summers ago, we had a problem on our hands. There was a guy that was sneaking into people's bedrooms at night. He wasn't taking anything.
Starting point is 00:32:43 He would just go up to a sleeping person tickle their feet while they were asleep and then as they woke up scoot his way out of the bedroom and out of their lives forever everyone kept on reporting it he was dubbed
Starting point is 00:32:57 he was dubbed the bright tickler oh okay and he remains he's not stealing anything he's not a bandit. And he remains at large to this day. Mark starred in a movie about that summer. Is it okay to break that? Yeah, Mark, you are in a movie
Starting point is 00:33:17 about the Bright Tickler. It's in development, I heard, at least. If there's a movie in development, I'm involved. Especially one set in Boston. Peter Berg and I are going to fucking make that movie. The tickler's still out there, though? He never got caught? Nope, never got caught. He could be in this room right now.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Smell everybody's fingertips. I had a plan once I heard about it. I was waiting for that guy to come and try to tickle me. There's a very narrow space in between the wall of my bedroom and my bed. He would have had quite the time getting out of there. I would have got him. He's just sleeping with his feet hanging out the window? Oh yeah. Come and get me. I got giant feet too. I don't know if you noticed, I have giant feet too, so it was like a big payday for that guy.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Is that though, or is that like too easy prey? Like he wants really tiny feet that are difficult. I mean, I would have to assume that he would think the bigger the better. It was a big about his air conditioner. Not exactly the whale. Was it like any age group, any sex? I don't think he discriminated, exactly. The white whale. Was it like any age group? Any sex? Like he just would...
Starting point is 00:34:27 I don't think he discriminated, Doug. I guess once you get into a house, you just find the first feet you can. If you had feet and you were asleep, he was tickling them. Well, he doesn't run from room to room in a house and get the whole family. No, I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:34:43 A master bedroom only, I think. I think it was viral marketing for a new sock company. Those guys seem to have scruples at least. You'd probably stay out of the kid's room, I imagine, but who's to say, really? That's a whole other problem on your list. Fuck this, dude. I'm gonna buy a house today. I'm gonna open
Starting point is 00:35:00 the fucking window. I'm gonna wait. When that son of a bitch comes in, I'm gonna be like, you're in the jungle now, motherfucker. And you know what? Much like today, you will never hear from that guy again I picture when they catch this guy they open the trunk of his car there's just all like feathers in there and all kinds of like tickling paraphernalia I picture it to be Mark Wahlberg yeah but the last movie I saw was X-Men
Starting point is 00:35:32 Apocalypse I saw the other night I tried to see that the last time I was in Boston really? it didn't work out for me oh that's right yeah we had just gotten home from tour
Starting point is 00:35:45 So I was half asleep I have a foggy recollection of it But then in the theater I saw Sausage Party But then other than that I haven't been watching Yeah, Sausage Party I think it's getting a limited re-release right now I think I heard Oh, good for them
Starting point is 00:36:02 I'm hearing things It's on the street. It's a word on the street. Yeah. Tim. I'm sorry, I already asked you. Ken. I'm in my 31 Halloween movies for 31 days kick.
Starting point is 00:36:14 And so, all right, Halloween. So last night I rewatched Something Wicked This Way Comes, which is a fantastic movie. You like that thing? Love that movie. And then I also watched Alex Winter's documentary Deep Web this week. Okay, so you got
Starting point is 00:36:32 your one horror movie in. Yeah. And then you watched a documentary. By Bill from Bill and Ted Narrative by Keanu Reeves about the Silk Road. What? Yeah. Let me tell you something. Do you think this morbid son of a bitch is keeping it just to this time of year to watch these weird horror movies out of your mind?
Starting point is 00:36:52 It's all year round. I just tell people about it in October. Just backstage, he was commenting about how a production box would fit a body. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So, as long as it is October, I guess I might as well start asking that question. What's a great scary movie people should check out? They might not be aware of.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Little known movie, although it's getting some more notice these days. Scariest movie I've ever seen, Tourist Trap. Yeah. 1980, rated PG, Tonya Roberts, Chuck Connors. Terrifying movie, better than Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Rated PG? Rated PG. Tonya Roberts, Chuck Connors. Terrifying movie. Better than Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Rated PG? Rated PG, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:30 How did they kill people by tickling the bottom of their feet today? What's the murder method? Chuck Connors is a psychokinetic murderer who uses mannequins that he controls to terrify people. Yeah, it's scary.
Starting point is 00:37:50 You watch it and then you laugh. I think I am going to watch it and laugh from the sound of it. Alright, it's terrifying. Alright. That concludes that round of harsh questioning. Sorry for all those hard calls.
Starting point is 00:38:05 You guys did a great job. Nobody deflected. Nobody came up with excuses. I like that. Have you guys noticed that? Look at that flashing light over there. There's like a camera, someone taking pictures. They're professional, I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:38:20 But they have this big light that flashes several times that has a kind of a get off the stage vibe to it. Oh, we're going long? Yeah, it's been driving me crazy because I keep thinking it's a signal of some kind. But it turns out you gotta get a lot of pictures of four guys sitting in the same position for... I know I feel like... The producers are just taking a picture of one guy, Doug. Oh, that's true.
Starting point is 00:38:41 It is called Doug Loves Babies. And this is the part of the show where Bert turns it off because I say, let the games begin. We got lots of name tags to choose from. While you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you in part by HelloFresh. At HelloFresh, we want to change the way people eat forever.
Starting point is 00:39:09 We believe everyone deserves honest, natural, delicious, healthy food. We celebrate fresh ingredients and making magic in the kitchen. We know there's a chef in everyone. We think food brings people together. Good food allows us to live long. And great food lets us enjoy every bite of life. We are learning and growing every day. We never give up and we strive to make people happy. That's why we started the HelloFresh movement. Whether you're a busy
Starting point is 00:39:36 professional couple, a large family that runs at a breakneck pace, or someone who simply wants to start cooking more, HelloFresh makes it easier, tastier, and healthier than ever to enjoy the experience of cooking new recipes and eating together at home. From creating the recipes and planning the meals to grocery shopping and even delivering all of the pre-measured ingredients, HelloFresh delivers right to your door so you can skip the trip.
Starting point is 00:40:02 HelloFresh currently offers customers a classic box or veggie box, and will be launching a family box soon. Customers can order 3, 4, or 5 different meals per week, designed for either 2 or 4 people. New recipes are created every week. Each week, HelloFresh creates new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to take around 30 minutes for everyone from novices to seasoned home cooks short on time. HelloFresh sources the freshest ingredients measured to the exact quantities needed so there's no food waste all delivered to your doorstep in a
Starting point is 00:40:37 special insulated box for free. For 35 bucks off your first week of deliveries, visit HelloFresh.com and enter Doug when you subscribe. Hey you guys, there's no ad in this episode. I just wanted to take a moment while name tags are being chosen to thank you for listening. Thank you for your continued support. And be sure to check out my new show pitch off on screen junkies plus i think you can still see the first episode for free but then uh you gotta buy screen junkies plus to watch the show a new episode every couple of weeks me as a studio, taking pitches from great comics and show business types like Sam Levine, Matt Besser, Megan Nuringer, Steve Agee, and more.
Starting point is 00:41:36 It's Pitch Off at Screen Junkies Plus. I bet you ScreenJunkiesPlus.com will get you there and get you all the details. Thanks again. Back to the show. All right, we're back. That was a long one. I hope you picked good name tags.
Starting point is 00:41:56 We'll start with you, Ken. I picked this one up on the balcony. It's Kelly Comes to Frogtown, which is a parody of, obviously, Hell Comes to Frogtown, Roddy Piper's second best role. And she put, is it a she, Kelly? Yeah, you put Mark Wahlberg and me on there, but I'm a lady with boobs.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Yes. Yes. Like Sandal Berkman in the actual movie. All right. What do you got there, Tim? You know, I was drawn to the Uncle Buck thing here but then realized just
Starting point is 00:42:30 doesn't seem like a ton of effort was put into this one you should pick another one that's amazing so this guy's name is Uncle J. Bucko apparently he didn't refute it. Anybody?
Starting point is 00:42:49 That's that guy over there. What's your name, sir? Jay. Jay Bucko. Jay Bucko. Okay, perfect. Jay Bucko, yeah. You said it just right.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Here I am, thinking I'm missing something. Yeah. Are you an uncle? Yes, I am. Okay, so it's accurate. He's an uncle. Your name's Bucko? Jay Bucko. Jay Bucko. Jay Buck. Wow, school it's accurate. He's an uncle. Your name's Bucko? J. Bucko.
Starting point is 00:43:06 J. Buck. Wow, school shooter. But so there's Uncle J. Bucko. Doug, there's you. You're actually Macaulay Culkin. And Mark Wahlberg is the father. J. Underwood playing Bug. Wow, people really counted on Wahlberg showing up today.
Starting point is 00:43:25 That they did. Yeah. Just making dreams come true, Doug. Tony, who you got? You know, I always like to go out and get deep in with the people, you know, connect with some of the poorest people in the audience to see what kind of sign that perhaps they made.
Starting point is 00:43:42 And I went deep in the gullets. You know, Sam Locke, we were close, my friend. You know, with your wrinkly shirt. I went, I ended up, I gave everybody a shot, but in the end, I ended up going with the one that caught my eye very first. That's, I believe her name must be Carrie. With Scary Movie 3.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Very, very efficient LED lighting here, including Doug, if you see these two joints lit up with a red LED light. Presidential booth, Dunkin' Donuts. Who loves Dunkin' Donuts? I do. You see that? That's my one thing that I've gotten since being here in Boston,
Starting point is 00:44:14 that Dunkin' Donuts right there. They hand that to you at the airport like a lei in Hawaii? Yeah. Yeah, there's a guy holding a sign that has a tray next to it, and then he tickles your feet. There's a bunch of Doug faces on there. There's no Tony faces. Some people made name tags with your face on them.
Starting point is 00:44:32 No, they didn't. Yeah, they did. Where? There's one right here. Chris Army Man. Carrie, come get this piece of shit out of my hand. Can I switch? That's me in a donut box!
Starting point is 00:44:46 What the fuck? Just out. Can I have multiples? I think you should stick with the first one you pick, but... Done with his rules, guys. He's the law and order host. It seems too mean to switch it out, but it's a good one
Starting point is 00:45:05 She put a lot of work into it. Yeah These LED lights go out during the show I'm switching She put four hours into hers Carrie how much did you put in yours? Couple hours. Oh that's that she's being bragging I didn't need four hours. You formed this out. You hadggadocious. A little more less today's goal. I didn't need four hours. You formed this out. You had someone do this for you, didn't you? Yep.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Are you an elementary school teacher? Kids, we've got a special project. This man smokes too much drugs. Billy, your spliffs aren't rolled correctly. Do it again. These are his faces on drugs. Mark, what do you got? I grabbed two.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Wait, how can you... Well, one is just an honorable mention. Okay. This is the best fucking looking poster out there. Because it's a Mark Wahlberg poster. Yep. And he changed three letters from Ted to Tom. If you don't fuck that, he changed two fucking letters. Unless it's a different...
Starting point is 00:46:21 It is a different font, so technically he fucking changed it. Honorable mention. It's laminated, too, so you can take that anywhere. My fucking person, they know a good fucking word when they say it, and it's a Dunkin' Donuts box, and it says, look good, feel good. And then it has the greatest fortune cookie thing of all time. Want to do a line? I don't know what her name is, but I just...
Starting point is 00:46:54 She was too pretty to eat all these fucking donuts. There's a Reese's one in there, too, and those are... Well, somebody's going to get that thrown at their face in about five minutes. Wait, so whose name tag did you choose? Right here. Look good, feel good. Wanted to align. I think her name's Duncan. You know what? What's her name? What's your name?
Starting point is 00:47:16 Jane? Kate! Kate! I Kate you. Does your name appear on that box anywhere? No. That's not a name tag. Kate skipped the first day at name tag school.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Yeah, that's where they really lay out the whole part about putting your name on there somewhere. Bad news, Kate. Bad news, Kate. You cannot win now. Yeah. The good news is you just got 14 free donuts from Dunkin' Donuts.
Starting point is 00:47:46 That's literally the only criteria for a name tag that you missed. Alright, fuck it. You want to go with Tom? Yeah! I just want you to pick someone and stay with it. Like, just bring one back to the stage with you.
Starting point is 00:48:01 This is why arranged marriages work. back to the stage with you. This is why arranged marriages work. Who are you playing for, Mark? Wow. Hey, you want to know something? Nobody fucking bullies me. I'm going with Kate.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Yes! How's that for a twist? Is that better than tickle? That's a true New England attitude right there. Damn. What are you, from Rhode Island? Fucking yelling at me like that. Yeah, no more yelling.
Starting point is 00:48:38 I want it quiet in here. Oh, that guy wants a donut? That I'll do. Oh my god, he caught it in his mouth. Yeah. He jumped up like an orca. Just hurling donuts into the darkness. Man, that's like throwing a donut in the dark.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Good luck. That's a new phrase I'm going to use all the time. Alright, so yeah, anytime you feel like throwing a donut, guys, there's plenty of them. Ugh, we're in donut country. More like dunkin' thrownuts. Will somebody please throw a donut at my face? No, don't. Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:49:24 I think you can go on Craigslist and get paid $100 an hour for people to throw donuts at your face. It's true. You should see the documentary. The first game we're going to play today is a little something called Characters Welcome. I'm going to name characters played by one movie star.
Starting point is 00:49:43 And you can guess as often as you'd like. First person to name the right person is the winner. No audience guesses, please. Who played Holden Spence? This person also played Jack Feller. Benedict Cumberbatch. Just always wanted to say that. Monty Brogan.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Kevin Smith. Walter Fane. Can we guess more than once? Yeah, as often as you want. That's why I said guess as often as you want. Steve Buscemi. Oh, this person also played in a motion picture Traffic Cop?
Starting point is 00:50:35 Oh, Kevin James. Mike Shiner? Oh, here's a good one. Sammy Bagel Jr.? Edward Norton. What's that? Edward Norton. That's correct from Sausage Party!
Starting point is 00:50:53 I didn't think any of that guest would have seen Sausage Party just recently. You earned a donut throw. He's also played Lester Murphy, Nelson Rockefeller Sheldon Mopes Scoutmaster Randy Ward in that dog killing movie Aaron Stampler slash Ray or Roy
Starting point is 00:51:15 he was a multiple personality guy in Primal Fear was that what it was called? he got nominated for an Oscar for that and then I was going to say last if it got down to it but you you pulled it off tim brennan i was going to say bruce banner as the last name because i would really give it away i think and the reason i picked edward norton is because he was born in boston but raised elsewhere um that's why he's successful yeah that's wait what oh no i wasn't saying it like a burn. I was saying it more like, you know,
Starting point is 00:51:45 because who knows that? I don't know. I didn't know that. He fucking hightailed it to Maryland. Let's play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? We'll start with Tim because he won that last game. And then we'll go to Tony. You know the rest.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Mark and Ken. I've got some time. I'm going to eat a donut. Yeah. You're going to eat a donut or throw a donut? He's been eyeing that Reese's donut ever since it showed up. Oh, the old eat and throw. I haven't even tried to get one up in the balcony yet.
Starting point is 00:52:26 One for you, one for me. I gotta try to do a balcony one. You gonna go up top? Go fucking yard, Doug. Go fucking yard. Go fucking yard, Doug. Toss that shit like a brick through a window. Fuck yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:42 It's up there. Wait, we're in Boston. Let's deflate these donuts a little bit. You'll get better. Boo. Don't you fucking dare. Don't you fucking dare. Boo.
Starting point is 00:52:56 This really isn't that good, this donut. Does anyone want a donut I took a bite out of? Because you're getting it. Yeah, there you go. Oh. Some serious donut throwing liberties. Take a bite out of it and throw it like it's a grenade. Yeah, I built a
Starting point is 00:53:10 donut throwing yard like in American Ninja Warrior. My backyard is just a donut field. Practicing. We still have so many donuts. After every donut assault, there's still more. You know, there's homeless people outside starving.
Starting point is 00:53:28 But the thing is, do you just give them a box of donuts? That doesn't seem... That seems cruel. I don't think they care about their health. They're hungry. Plus, you never know. They might just be drug addicts. Give them a donut and they throw the donut. You're like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Most of them just use the money to buy donuts anyway. In fact. Tim, what movie has the tagline a new breed of superhero will be revealed? Could be about 50 different movies.
Starting point is 00:54:10 A new breed of superhero will be revealed. No whispering, no looking at your phones. A new breed of superhero. Go get that phone. is about to be revealed. What? I was just repeating the tagline. Okay. Buying time.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Is that the tagline for... If anybody needs to buy time, just stand up and throw a donut while you're thinking. Does it transfer to me next? If he doesn't get it, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh, sh...
Starting point is 00:54:56 Oh, Franko! I wish Congress had to filibuster that way. As long as you're throwing donuts donuts we can't vote on this. America's built on Duncan. America runs on Duncan, that's it. Which just sounds like a diarrhea reference. Yeah. America squirts on Duncan. You got a guess, Tim? I'm going to say... Let me narrow it down for you. It's a superhero movie.
Starting point is 00:55:33 It's based on DC or Marvel Comics? One of the two? I'm going to take a stab. I don't want to narrow it down that far. I'm going to take a stab and say The Avengers Age of Ultron. Incorrect. Tony? I'm going to take a stab and say The Avengers Age of Ultron. Incorrect. Tony?
Starting point is 00:55:45 I'm going to say it's that new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. That was a discus technique. I'm guessing I'm wrong by it. You're wrong, Mark. Mark. Mark. I'm going to let you say that about three more times Wolverine Huh?
Starting point is 00:56:14 Wolverine No Underdog That wouldn't be a bad line for that one A new breed Should've been A new breed Thought you were going for a dog thing
Starting point is 00:56:24 That should've been the line Perfect for that one. A new breed. Thought you were going for a dog thing. That should have been the line. It's perfect for it. Yeah. That's so stupid. It's so stupid. The actual answer is dumb now. Dumb now?
Starting point is 00:56:37 What the fuck is that? It's the prequel to Dumber Dumber. No, the answer to this one is kick ass. Kick ass, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Right? What are you guys, Family Feud? Show me kick-ass!
Starting point is 00:56:59 All right, so we start again with you, Tim. Since nobody got it. No one's going to get this one either. Just when you think you've found the right guy, someone even worse comes along. W. Tony I'm just hot for Josh Brolin today my favorite Van Halen song um
Starting point is 00:57:43 wait didn't you already guess? No. Can you read it one more time? Oh! That's an interesting technique he's using here. He's mind-tricking you. You said W. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Well, yeah. Yep, that was my guess. W. I thought I was a great fucking guest. Yeah. I didn't need to hear another guess. I'm guessing this is in the rom-com genre, which is my,
Starting point is 00:58:08 you know, my, I don't have that much strength in this field. But, I'm gonna go with, like, I don't know, Bridget Jones's Diary or something like that. I don't know, one of those weird fucking creepy Renee Zellweger movies
Starting point is 00:58:24 or something like that. Can I just take creepy Rene Zellweger movies or something like that. Can I just take all Rene Zellweger movies? Guess that real quick? Mark. Okay. Can you read it one more time, Dan? Yes. Thank you. I can read it again too for you, Ken, if you need it. Fuck, Ken.
Starting point is 00:58:45 I don't need it. too for you, Ken, if you need it. Fuck, Ken. I don't need it. Just when you think you've found the right guy, someone even worse comes along. That's an unfair hint. Mr. Holland's opus. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Nope, nope, nope. It was something like that. Okay. I'm gonna read it again for Ken, but this time I'm gonna do a different voice. Just when you think you've found the right guy, somebody that works comes along. Good luck, Chuck. That is not a bad guess either.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Those are all terrific. Why doesn't a movie company hire me to write these taglines? Because clearly I'm coming up with better ones for the movies. This was from a film called Murphy's Romance. Murphy's Romance Murphy's Romance starring Sally Field and James Garner I've never even heard of that movie So we'll start with Tim again So far we have
Starting point is 00:59:53 Kick Ass and Murphy's Romance This next one Someone's about to throw a donut at you, Doug Absolute classics Tim, what movie has the tagline Donut at you, Doug. Absolute classics. Tim, what movie has the tagline, something dangerous is in the air? Something dangerous is in the air.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Throw a donut if you need a time to think. Think I will. Yeah, throw a donut, Doug. Right here! This guy keeps yelling, throw it in their face! This guy's a pervert! For the listener at home, he got what he wanted. He's been rubbing himself, yelling, throw it in their face!
Starting point is 01:00:46 Who's looking for a donut? Who's hungry? I hope everyone made the reaction is the worst because you're just throwing it into the darkness up here. It's better that way. It's like the box. I don't want to know who gets it. These fucking people are so worried about getting hit by donuts. This. This isn't a foul ball at Fenway, people. They might have peanut allergies. You're welcome. That person over there actually had a Target on their thing. Oh yeah, those are always fun.
Starting point is 01:01:17 That's fun when it's a Target. Nice. Alright, Tim, you've had some time. Okay, uh, I'm going to say The Fog. Ooh, The Fog? Wait, the remake or the original? I like that. Something dangerous is in the air. The Fog.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Obviously wrong. Yeah, it's not right, but it's good work. I would have seen that remake if that was the title. The tagline. All right, Tony. All right, I'm going to go with, you know, that remake if that was the title. The tagline. Alright, Tony. I'm going to go with you know, I'm thinking zombie-ish
Starting point is 01:01:52 on this one, so I'm going to go with I'm going to go with Let's go with Zombieland. No. No. Alright. Did the air cause the zombies in Zombieland? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:02:12 Mark? Sully. Is that a guess or is that guy here? I actually looked down to see if he was right. Sully? Let me check. No. Damn it.
Starting point is 01:02:29 I'm going to go with Drop Zone. That is correct. You figured it out. Drop Zone, Kick-Ass, Murphy's Romance. Yep. In honor of Mighty Mighty Boston. Here we go, Mark. There's also a band called Zone Kick Romance.
Starting point is 01:02:49 I mean, Zone Ass Romance. Close enough. Tony's taking a bite. That means in a few seconds, it's got to throw it. Is that a custard? Oh, you're going to keep that one? I think I'm going to sit on this one for a little bit. I'm falling behind in the game.
Starting point is 01:03:02 I'm getting a little sad. I eat my feelings. Yeah, well, I think your sugar's different. What flavor is that one? Halloween? It tastes like a Boston airport. They do good work over there. Yeah, I think it's a scratch ticket flavored donut.
Starting point is 01:03:19 I think the center's got Loganberry. That's right. That was better. I said it. It's definitely custardy in the middle. Uh oh. The best things are. Looks like it's the balcony's lucky day, huh?
Starting point is 01:03:38 Wait, is that a sex doll with a... Stop grabbing its vagina. What is wrong with you? Where did you purchase that? Because it's also child-sized. I'm pretty sure someone just stuck a cuss word in his face. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:09 It's like skeet shooting. Paul! Dude, you fucking Doc Holliday'd that shit, dude. You just impregnated that doll with Boston cream. Oh, man. None of the things I just said were a euphemism. That was a literal call. All right, Ken. You won that game.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Good for you. Do you want a victory donut? I'll take a victory donut. This place is a goddamn war zone. Well, we know who will survive, then. Right here! Oh, my God. Jesus Christ!
Starting point is 01:04:45 Whoa, he drilled it into somebody! What the hell? Are you guys alright? It was a fun show until this lady lost use of her hands and legs. For the listener at home... She threw it back at him! Nicely played.
Starting point is 01:05:06 For the listener at home, two things happened. Ken tried to apologize as to not get charged with assault. Yep. Then Ken got some of his own fucking medicine. I told her to, and we're even now. Except he took it to the chest, and he threw it directly at her skull. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:23 A little bit of a difference. As hard as he could. Oh, shit, we're mic dropping? Oh, shit, it's a birthday cake. Who's going to get thrown a birthday cake? More donuts. Oh, those are expensive donuts. Is that from Donut Villa?
Starting point is 01:05:40 I don't know where they're from, but they're going to go out fast and hot. That looks like Donut Villa. Oh. Wow. There's some crawlers in there. I don't know where they're from, but they're gonna go out fast and hot. That looks like Donut Villa. Oh! Wow. There's some crawlers in there you're gonna take an eye out. This lady is just trying to get to her seat. She has no idea what's going on.
Starting point is 01:05:54 Oh yeah, Munchkins. Oh no, he's got the buckshot! Oh, those are nice! These are nice donuts! Wait, those are nice! These are nice donuts! Wait, those are like gourmet donuts. Is this Union Square Donuts? I'm keeping that one. Whoa, someone's throwing donuts back.
Starting point is 01:06:16 That's unacceptable. Yeah, I should hang on to that. Completely unacceptable. Keep that donut hole right there. That's good stuff. Keep that donut hole. There's a really special donut in that box. Keep that donut hole right there. Yeah. That's good stuff. I almost threw it out into the audience. So messy, this show.
Starting point is 01:06:33 Let's play Last Man Stanton. Listen at home, this has become Richard Simmons' nightmare. Oh, some wet ones. Thank you very much. That was really thoughtful. You threw some wet ones up here. I was dunking my fingers in my cocktail. Stop.
Starting point is 01:06:59 That came in a little hot. Whoever's throwing donuts back. Whoever threw that. You want to ruin it? Do that shit. You're going to blind an Asian man, and then we're all in trouble. Welcome back to Ken Brings Up Shit
Starting point is 01:07:12 Nobody Wants to Talk About. Was that fun, Ken? Was that good? Was that something that was good for everybody to fucking talk about? I know that guy. Okay, cool. Give me your yearbook.
Starting point is 01:07:27 We'll get deep into you too, buddy. Well, that guy killed a bunch of kids with his dog and they made a movie about it. That kid, look, that guy's eye was already fake. Don't breathe. I put him right in their hands. I'm fucking Tom Brady. Yeah. I mean, I'm not fucking Tom Brady.
Starting point is 01:07:45 I'd believe it. With those deflated balls. Whoa! Boo! It's the sequel to Oddballs. When I saw Tony get it, I was like, oh, that breeze probably feels really nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:00 I want some of that booing breeze. Feels good. Yeah, I don't like the smell of it, though. Almost feels as nice and relaxing as a four-game suspension. Boston. Boston. I'm an old pro wrestling fan. I like playing the bad guys. Don't give into this shit, okay? Earlier, we're fucking Family Feud.
Starting point is 01:08:22 Now you guys are a fucking Maury audience. Don't give into this shit. He's back tomorrow, right? Maury? Tom Brady's back tomorrow? Fucking A. Wright he is, dude. He's done vacationing in Italy with Giselle and now he's back to playing football.
Starting point is 01:08:40 Dude, he's gonna fucking dominate those motherfuckers. You're not allowed to call them the Browns, lady. I know it's Boston, but you're making us look bad. This wet wipe is too wet. My hands are just as wet as they were before I started wiping. I need something. I gotta just dry them off on my clothes.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Also, just a side note, if anybody's interested, I started a petition to have Tom Brady play without a helmet so we could just see him the whole fucking game. And if anybody gets within three feet, automatic flag. All right. Who won that last thing? I did. No, you didn't.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Are we talking about life or just the game? Ken did, because he figured out Drop Zone. So Ken gets to go first in Last Man Stanton. Okay. Each one of you can use the person whose name tag you chose as a lifeline one time during this game. I'm going to sit this one out, I think, because I don't want to run out of time. Oh, I wrote down somebody's name on Twitter.
Starting point is 01:09:52 Where is the lady stranger? Right up front. There she is, right up front, as it often happens. Would you like a donut? Okay, good. Sure, Ken will throw one right at your face. Do you want a donut okay good sure a candle throw one right at your face you want to go right your fucking face I can I if she's okay I was gonna kick all these as hard as I could just in her direction all right lady
Starting point is 01:10:18 stranger do you want your real name out on the out in the world okay she's going low-pro you guys nobody wants the bad she's keeping it goes protocol and she's gonna suggest the name of an actor or actress for us to use an exciting finishing game for the show yes topple Diane. Thank you very much. Yes. Top of the patriarchy. Was she in a movie called It's My Vest? I think you shouldn't ask. No, it's called
Starting point is 01:10:55 It's My Turtleneck, but the point is that you shouldn't ask any questions. You gotta do this on your own, guys. You can use your lifeline once. We'll start with Ken as advertised. Baby boom. Baby boom.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Tim, what do you got? Diane Keaton. The great Diane Keaton. The Godfather 2. Oh, okay. That's an interesting approach. It'll be interesting to see what Tony Hinchcliffe makes of that. So far we got Baby Boom
Starting point is 01:11:32 and The Godfather Part 2. Let's go with... Fuck. Alright, I guess I'm... Let me get your name tags, you're probably not gonna win. Diane Keaton. Yeah. Alright.
Starting point is 01:12:04 So far we have Baby Boom and The Godfather Part 2. Fuck. What about Michael Keaton? Can I do Michael Keaton? Is that close enough? All right, I guess I'm going to have to ask... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I kind of like that
Starting point is 01:12:25 Michael or Diane Keaton Go We're going to be here all night Diane Keaton is a tough one Yeah, I'm not going to give you guys much time And we're back in it A lot easier for you So far we've got Baby Boom and The Godfather Part II.
Starting point is 01:12:46 I'm going to knock this one out easy breezy. One of my favorite movies since I was a baby boy. I was in five years old for Halloween. And I'm going to say it right now. Beetlejuice. Just say it the one time, please. Do not have time for him to show up and tell his dirty stories and fart on us. Mark.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Birdman. Full title. Yes, the correct title or pick something else. You want the full fucking title? Fuck that. I don't know it. Okay, pick something else. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:18 Batman. Full title. Son of a bitch. All right. Starting over, Diane Keaton. Starting over? Starting over? Yeah, 1980 heard Burt Reynolds shot in Boston.
Starting point is 01:13:32 But it goes to building 19. That was Jill Klayberg. No, isn't Diane Keaton the other woman? The one that sings the disco songs. No, it was Candice Bergen. Oh, you're right, it's Candace Bergen. Candy Bergen. Ah, look who's...
Starting point is 01:13:50 What you guys don't know is I threw this because I got money on this. Go ahead and use your lifeline. Lifeline. Who's... it's Kelly. Kelly. He's out on the first one. I mean, I know a Michael Keaton one, but I kind of felt like I should have gone Diane. Kelly, do you got something? Yeah, I mean Kelly I kind of could have come up with that one myself but yeah, thank you I was kind of surprised you went with starting over. I mean I go with mr. Mom and I'm doing my returns
Starting point is 01:14:20 Okay. Well you blew that one too now. Yeah, you guys... Stop blowing out titles. Alright, Tim? Diane Keaton is in the First Wives Club. Yeah! Where's the first wife at? The First Wives Club. There you go, first wife. You know what I love more than Michael Keaton, Doug?
Starting point is 01:14:43 A bunch of Michael Keatons in the hit movie, Multiplicity. Yes! That's a classic. Mark. The Godfather. I hit the waitress, I'm sorry. What'd you say? The Godfather.
Starting point is 01:15:01 Yeah, yeah, I was sitting at that forever for you, Tony. I kept saying Godfather Part 2. And everybody was laughing, remember that? Godfather, okay, cool. Ken? Oh, I can guess again? Yeah, you lost your lifeline, so now you're on your own. Annie Hall.
Starting point is 01:15:20 Annie Hall, okay. No, wait, was that Woody Allen? Yeah, he's in it too Tim? Mr. Mom Okay Tony Tony
Starting point is 01:15:39 Okay, let's go with Spill three different words You know, Boston. Boston-based movie. Okay. And fucking... You can use your lifeline still. Son of a bitch.
Starting point is 01:15:56 Full title. Shh. Shut up. Don't say it, you guys. Do you want to use your lifeline for now and come back to that one? Circle back? Yeah, sure. Where's Skatey at?
Starting point is 01:16:07 Katie? What? Spotlight. Thank you. You named the one that I was going to think of before my next turn that I already hinted at. Thank you. Spotlight. Way to be there for me, Skatey.
Starting point is 01:16:17 My favorite Diane Keaton movie. Jesus fucking Christ. Boston-based Michael Keaton. Thank you. Would have had it. Mark? Boston-based Michael Keaton. Thank you. Would have had it.
Starting point is 01:16:24 Mark. Something's got to give. Yeah. Gung Ho. Yeah. Automobile manufacturing. The other guys. Yes. Very political at the end guys. Yes.
Starting point is 01:16:47 Very political at the end of that movie. Check it out if you want to know more about the financial crash. You know those movies that that one guy makes that has like a shit ton of actors and actresses in it, but you're never really into it that much? Yeah. Diane Keaton was in one of those.
Starting point is 01:17:07 And I believe the name of that movie was Valentine's Day. No. Oh, shit. She's not in that. New Year's Eve, it was some fucking holiday. Halloween? Fuck.
Starting point is 01:17:23 I'm giving you another donut, because then maybe you'll stop talking. She was in one of those, right? What? She was in Valentine's Day, right? I remember seeing it on buses. I don't think she was in that. I think you're thinking of the other sister. Isn't Diane Keene,
Starting point is 01:17:40 she has the round glasses and the short hair, right? Mark? Fuck. Great fucking movie. Dream Team. Oh, that is a good movie. Yeah, Michael Keaton. Night Shift.
Starting point is 01:17:54 Also, a very early Michael Keaton. That's a good one. Tim? I think I'm going to have to go to my lifeline. Who that is? Uncle Jay Bucko Oh Bucko, what do you got for us? Bucko
Starting point is 01:18:08 Jack Frost Good one, thank you Christmas classic You put that on when you want to fall asleep quickly Tony You know what I loved? Diane Keaton in The movie
Starting point is 01:18:23 You know you're out of the game, right? Beethoven. She's not in Beethoven. It's Bonnie Hunt! You really gotta picture it, picture it. Mark? I'm gonna use one of my two lifelines. No, you just have the one and it's Tom
Starting point is 01:18:45 You want to go with Tom? I picked Kate, but we can go with Tom Oh, Kate, sorry I pray to God I get to meet you after the show And you know what? Believe it or not I mean that in the nicest fucking way possible. I swear to God.
Starting point is 01:19:08 Kate. What? Reds. Reds. Reds with Warren Beatty. Yeah, that's a Diane Keaton movie. Reds. Good job. Thank you, Kate. Clean and sober.
Starting point is 01:19:23 Yep. Diane Keaton. Michael Keaton. Clean and sober. Yep. Diane Keaton. No, Michael Keaton. You're right. Just testing you. Tim, are you out? You know... With Batman Returns, the one that you... Okay, yeah, okay. So, you know...
Starting point is 01:19:50 Oh, shit, they just fell off the balcony. Doug, you got a fucking arm on you, dude. You're like the rookie. You know they're just donuts, right? No, you're like that kid, rookie of the year. Yeah, did you have, have like a weird tendon thing? I think I might be out. There's no shame in that.
Starting point is 01:20:12 You did a great job. Let's hear it for Tim Brennan, everybody. Sorry, Uncle Jay Bucko. Thank you for your help. Hey, Bucko, you didn't even put a shinhead on the back. Come on, man. Get it together. Oh, shit. I got to run out of rope again. Here, can you. Hey, Bucko, you didn't even put a shithead on the back. Come on, man. Get it together. Oh, shit. I got to run out of rope again.
Starting point is 01:20:28 Here, can you pass that to Bucko? Bucket brigade that over to Bucko. Do you need a Sharpie, Bucko? Right to the hands every time. Wow. Tom Brady better. This Tom Brady thing doesn't work out. I'll step in. Tom Brady's going to be the first person to play in a wheelchair. He is never leaving the Patriots.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Ever. Do you have an answer, Mark? I know you just used your lifeline, so you're probably out. Give him a toke. Is that what you said? I don't know what she's yelling about. About number two, because he's got two name tags.
Starting point is 01:21:09 I'm saying he's got two. For the listener at home, Tom shouldn't have come here today. I just, I picture her fighting with Alec Baldwin in nine different fucking movies. And I keep wanting to say that she was in Stepmom, but that was two other crying women.
Starting point is 01:21:43 Just so you know, my name's Mark fucking Wahlberg and I never fucking cheat because I don't have to. No, he did. I accidentally rubbed it off, but I'll tell you what it was. By accident, it was ink. I didn't fucking know. The way I was grabbing it. Okay.
Starting point is 01:21:57 That was business. You may not get to hear it. Okay. Okay. Now that other movie was Mary Steamtime. Mary Steampunk? Fuck it, dude. Was she in Parenthood? No, that's Diane Weiss.
Starting point is 01:22:25 No, she was in other movies with Steve Martin. Thank you. He's the lady with the dark sunglasses, right? She's in the... Oh, go ahead, Ken. For the win. Johnny Dangerously. Yes, Michael Keaton. Oh, great fucking movie.
Starting point is 01:22:35 Diane Keaton was in Father the Bride, Father the Bride 2. Fuck. I was waiting on that one. Thank you, HBO, as a kid. But that means that the person that you were playing for there, Ken, is our winner. Kelly wins. Who's Kelly?
Starting point is 01:22:52 Where's Kelly at? Kelly's up in the balcony. Oh, Kelly's in the balcony? Kelly's in the balcony. How's she going to come get all this shit? Come over the front. Can you guys catch her? She's not big.
Starting point is 01:23:03 No, this stairs. I'll put it all over here, and we'll just trust that no one's gonna like it. She'll just come get it in the middle of Tony's show. No one's gonna fuck with it. Time she gets down here. Someone tell Corolla it's fine. Let's put him right there. That should be somewhat accessible.
Starting point is 01:23:20 If she's still here. She might have left. And here's a shoebox that says Throw Nuts on it. That's a weird left. And here's a shoebox that says throw nuts on it. Huh. That's a weird thing to put donuts in a shoebox. Yeah, that's like a clue to a mystery. Oh, they're knitted. Oh, who made these? They're cruelty-free donuts.
Starting point is 01:23:40 Zero calories or carbs. These are really fun. Wow. I'm going to have to commission some pajamas from that person. Here, throw one of these, Tim. Wow, these things are really neat. Yeah, you could just whip that at someone's face as fast as you can. I'm going to keep a couple of them.
Starting point is 01:24:00 Yeah, Ken, you could throw one of those as hard as you possibly can at a woman's face in the front row and it would be okay. It would not hurt them at all. Box! Holy cow. You the winner? Congratulations. Congratulations. You want the box back? She's going to return those Converse All-Stars right after the show.
Starting point is 01:24:20 Hey, Doug. Hey, Doug. Yes, Mark. I probably should have told this to you earlier. That weird little white box of donuts there? When I grabbed it, the person said, these have weed in them. Do they?
Starting point is 01:24:34 I don't know. This box? This one that I'm keeping? It does say hand grenades. I ate one of those. Wow. Oh, I got you. Because I ate one of those. Wow. Oh, only the... Oh, I got you. Because I ate one of those and I'm on probation.
Starting point is 01:24:51 Our winner today is Ken Reid, everybody. Way to go, Ken. Way to fucking go, dude. What do you got to plug, Ken? We got to wrap this up quick. I got my album out, Divinity Project Volume 1, Hollywoodland.
Starting point is 01:25:05 I've got TV Guidance Counselor new episodes every Wednesday. You can go get it. Very nice. Thank you. Thank you. Tim Brennan, Dropkick Murphys, everybody. Thank you. It was a pleasure to be here.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Are you going back out on tour anytime? You just got back? In January, yeah, we just got home. We just finished our brand new album, number 9. That's coming out the first week of January. And then in the end of the summer next year we'll put out number 10. So we have two albums coming out next year and we'll be touring all over the place. Very nice. Thank you for being here, Tim Brennan. Thank you for having me. Pleasure.
Starting point is 01:25:49 Tony Hinchcliffe headlining this very stage, just trying to walk around all the donut shit. Yeah. Seven o'clock tonight. I'm excited. About an hour and a half, actually. Yeah. Flew in today. I call it an hour and ten because I'm really
Starting point is 01:26:03 precise. Just had enough time to shower. I showered here at the venue before this show. Yeah, that's rock and roll. And now I have about an hour before I do my show so shit's fucked up. Ha ha ha. Seven o'clock. Check out the Kill Tony podcast.
Starting point is 01:26:20 Yeah. And so many other great things. Tony Hinchcliffe on Twitter. Thank you. With an E on the end. That's Tony Hinchcliffe on Twitter with an E on the end that's Tony Hitchcliffe everybody and Mark Wahlberg just running around following me all over the place
Starting point is 01:26:36 I love it, thank you for your constant support of this show I got so much shit going on, you motherfuckers. Go see Deep Water Horizon. We just wrapped on Transformers 5. The trailer just dropped for Patriot's Day. It's gonna be fuckin' good. Other than that, Wahlburgers
Starting point is 01:26:55 is coming back because you people fuckin' deserve it. Go eat there. And then after the show, I'm gonna be signing tits and picking fights. Let's do this. And then after the show, it'll be signing tits and picking fights. Let's do this. All right. One more time for all of my guests.
Starting point is 01:27:17 Ken Reed, Tim Brennan, Tony Hitch cycle is a shithead. People who use the word legit not legitimately are a shithead. And pussy grabbers are a shithead.

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