Doug Loves Movies - Topher Grace, Paul Scheer, and Neal Brennan Guest
Episode Date: January 27, 2015Doug welcomes actor Topher Grace to the show, along with comics Paul Scheer and Neal Brennan.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com.../privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers,
maybe 50 seats with 50 eyes
and five more kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see,
but Doug Loves Movies!
Hey, hey, hey, everybody!
My name is Doug, and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
It almost sounded like you guys,
now you're doing it grudgingly.
Like, you're not enjoying it.
So let's try next week, let's try,
like, everybody that's not enjoying it,
just sit there quietly, and we'll see what happens.
They'll be just kind of a couple of musical theater majors that just belt it out.
It'll be adorable.
We're coming to you from the UCB Theater on Franklin Avenue in Los Angeles in the year 2015 on January 27 dresses.
Since last I spoke and you listened, we did a
Tournament of Championships episode
with Scott Aukerman, Sean Sacamai,
and Kate McCucci.
And you'll be able to acquire
that soon for two bucks in the
Comedy Albums section of iTunes.
Everyone's been sworn
to secrecy, but it was a great crowd,
so I think they'll keep their yaps
shut. Also, LA friends, if you're a cine family member or no one join us for the members only tv
interruption this sunday february 1st kickoffs at 3 15 uh it's also a potluck and a dining with
doug and karen uh podcast episode we just did a new one of those that you should check out with a Cajun food truck guy, the Ragin' Cajun, and Ricky Lindholm.
It was very entertaining to be there, and I hope it is to listen to as well.
But bring a dish if you're coming to the potluck at cinefamily.org.
at cinefamily.org.
Looking forward to appearing at the Traverse City Comedy Festival in Michigan and the Northwest Comedy Fest
in Vancouver, Canada.
Dates and deets at douglovesmovies.com.
From the corrections department,
Murder! Exclamation point is an Alfred Hitchcock movie.
While trying to think of Dial M for murder,
Jeff Tate did just say murder as a guess,
and I did not accept it, and I stand by my decision.
A mistake I did make, though, was allowing a torn curtain
instead of, I mean, iron curtain instead of torn curtain.
And I've been saying bridge to terabitha
those of you that laughed i don't know i think you should feel a little sad
that you know how it's supposed to be pronounced because it's terabithia yeah i was saying it wrong
all this time and i gotta stop for a second and thank that dude over there for wearing baggy shorts
in the front row
in January.
You know there's a blizzard
in Boston right now
and you're just fucking nuts out.
Here we go.
I'm gonna win
a Phil Del Castro
lookalike contest.
But thanks for coming, dude.
And the movie Shooter Jennings was talking about
in the St. Louis episode is called
The Taking of Deborah Logan,
and it sounds like some creepy-ass shit.
So I might make that part of my 365 movies
in 365 days, Doug Lowe's Movies Challenge.
Listen to Doug Lowe's Minis for more on that.
Prize bag.
It's been happening for a few episodes in a row now.
It might happen for a few more.
Get them while they're hot.
Schmovie.
God, the hilarious game of outlandish films.
They didn't pay me to say that.
They just sent me a box of six of them.
So for six episodes, I'm going to give away
this fun board game
it says here
what would you call an action movie about a killer sandwich
and some of the options that they suggested were last action hero It says here, what would you call an action movie about a killer sandwich?
And some of the options that they suggested were Last Action Hero.
Or Gyro.
Rye Hard.
And Stop Earl Prosciutto.
Your mom. That's how that should end it.
Yeah, so that's the kind of game you can play with your friends
if you want your friends to moan
when you give your answer.
If you have that kind of friends.
So that's in the bag.
Lots of stuff.
A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt.
The Doug Loves Movies buttons
that I've been talking about
for a few shows
that I'll keep giving out
on a bunch of shows
because that is like,
it's from Auxiliary Buttons.
Auxbutts.com
Pardon me.
Auxbuttons.com
Don't go to Auxbutts.com
I fear what you will run into there.
And a lighter from Chameleon Glass
and some other stuff. Let's get
my three guests out here.
Two,
one newbie and two oldbies.
Please give a big warm
warm
give a warm
welcome to Neil Brennan,
Paul Scheer, and Topher Grace.
Woo!
Applause Applause Neil Brennan, Paul Scheer, and Topher Grace. Well, well, well.
Paul Scheer, congratulations.
Thank you, thank you.
You just won the Pete Holmes Award
for being the first to speak without being spoken to.
But if it was the true Pete Holmes Award,
I'd be yelling and I would still be speaking.
And Topher wins whatever the opposite of that is
because he doesn't even want his microphone
anywhere near his face.
It's like he's from the 70s when they didn't have microphones. even want his microphone anywhere near his face.
It's like he's from the 70s when they didn't have microphones.
Neil Brennan is here, everybody!
Looks like Neil played it
just right.
Mic is up and you still haven't spoken.
Yeah, and the glasses.
These guys are probably intimidated by how smart you're going to be.
Should be.
But you kept it cash with the hoodie.
Paul didn't get the call tonight.
We were all going to wear hoodies.
No, I know.
That's what I'm a jam, too.
And the memo fell through the cracks.
So we got to find that memo.
But Neil.
Do you think Topher's ever going to bring the mic up to his mouth?
I don't think so.
I think it's going to be our first ever fully mimed performance.
But Neil.
Yeah.
I always thought the Champs podcast that you do with Moshe Kasher,
I never listened to it. I mean, I don't listen to a lot
of podcasts. No offense or anything,
but... Well, I've run a long list of
podcasts you don't listen to. Yeah, I'll go through
all of them, but I...
But in the case of your podcast, I just didn't listen to it
because I thought it was about sports. Yeah, it's
not. It's about...
It's just you and Moshe being you and Moshe,
which I would find hilarious. Yeah, it's a logo. It's just you and Moshe being you and Moshe, which I would find hilarious.
Yeah, it's a logo.
It's just a name, bro.
Yeah, well, I mean, Douglas movies have fucking step up and do just that.
But the champs, your thing has like a pen and donut or something.
I know.
Look, it was a crazy time.
You're winning at life.
You're winning at life.
Yeah, it was a sports talk.
Why did this get made?
There's a picture of Jason Manzoukas
with a pregnant belly,
which is a reference to Junior,
a motion picture that should not have gotten made.
It's also how did this get made.
That's how you do it.
What did I call it?
Why did this get made?
Still good.
Not bad.
Who was killing all the great chefs of Europe
while this got made?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really deep reference that
no one got.
No one was behind it. I got it.
I barely got it.
Tover just spoke.
That's a movie that I know the title of,
but I've never seen.
Who's Killing All the Great Chefs.
Is that from the A's at 81?
Who's Killing the Great Chefs of Europe.
Is that what it's called?
Yeah, it starred George Segal.
81.
Jacqueline Bissette.
Might have been pre or just post
hot, wet t-shirt in the deep.
And it's a
it's a
it's not only a whodunit
but it's also a
makes you want to vomit
because
all these chefs
create this amazing food
but then also
their deaths occur
in and around
all the food.
Wow.
Yeah.
So it's kind of
I'm gonna run right out
and run past
every place that's playing
that movie.
I apologize for bringing it up.
What the fuck is this show?
What the hell is going on here?
Topher, I've said this for years on the podcast.
By the way, Doug hasn't even come close
to making eye contact with any of us.
He just keeps making this fucking weird,
fucking staring off into the distance.
He's literally like Topher looking
50 feet away from Topher.
You should be wearing Ray Charles glasses
and they're all tied together.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I meant Jamie Foxx glasses.
The original Ray Charles.
He did Ray Charles better than Ray Charles.
We want pre-note.
So,
when the subject comes up,
that's the first thing I think of.
I always talk about this on the podcast.
I don't want to embarrass you,
but Ocean's Twelve,
your scene at the beginning.
I was in it for 30 seconds.
It's a little longer than that. It's not only the best scene in the movie, but the best scene at the beginning. I was in it for 30 seconds. It's a little longer than that.
It's not only the best scene in the movie,
but the best scene in most movies.
I love that scene.
I love that fucking scene.
I'll watch that whole fucking movie
just because I watched that scene.
Because other characters are watching Ocean's 12 on screens.
It's the best part of that movie.
Ocean's 11.
Yeah, right?
It's the first one.
What happened?
In Ocean's 11, he's in the first one what happened in Ocean's Eleven
he's in the first scene
but with a bunch
of other TV actors
that have gone nowhere
it's the first one
I'm going to tell you
a great story
for your podcast
which is I was supposed
to be in the third one
as well
and I couldn't do it
because I was doing
the best Spider-Man
movie of the three
thank you
as it's thought of by everyone.
Yeah, that's what you guys call it.
Top Spider-Man is what we call it.
Top Spider-Man, right.
But I was going to...
Hey, I'll tell you the new Spider-Mans have given...
There you go.
What was it?
Pete News?
Please finish that, but I just want to quickly say
the new Spider-Mans have given...
Hey, is this the Benson Interruption or the Douglas movies?
Is this Benson Interruption or Douglas movies?
This is an important point, Neil.
All right, go ahead.
The two new Spider-Mans have elevated Spider-Man 3 considerably.
In my opinion.
Yes.
Okay, continue.
Amazing backhanded compliment.
Got double backhanded.
So the first one, Brad Pitt's teaching me how to play cards.
And the second one, he comes in a room, like a hotel room that I've trashed.
By the way, Brad Pitt told me, never drop names.
And Clooney said the same thing.
Don't be a name dropper.
If Julia Roberts was there, they would all be.
But the third one I was supposed to be, and I talked to Soderbergh about this,
and then I couldn't do it, which really broke my heart.
It probably would have been, sadly, better than doing Spider-Man.
I was going to be outside of a casino,
and Rusty, Brad's character, is going to be running in,
and I was going to be trying to get in, and I couldn't get in,
but I was going to be holding an Asian baby the entire time.
But there's no reference to it.
That's really sad that didn't happen.
You'd think schedules would have been worked out
because that would have been the best part of that one.
I know.
Well, all right.
But yeah, Ocean's 12.
Watch it.
Watch the first seven minutes or so.
Hey, I want to give a shout out to Tover's performance
in Traffic as well, which I've never...
I don't know if I've ever directly...
He's the best thing in Traffic.
I don't know if anybody remembers. It's fucking unbelievable. Yeah. I don't know if I've ever directly, he's the best thing in Traffic. I don't know if anybody remembers.
It's fucking unbelievable.
Yeah.
I don't know why we're doing this now,
but great movie.
Is it Mrs. Michael Douglas in Traffic?
Yeah, both of them are.
How dare you?
No, he is good at it.
Well, now I'm on the spot
to find my favorite Topher Grace scene.
If you had to think.
If you had to think.
I know, wow, jeez.
Like, you guys really, well, I really enjoyed doing it. It's stellar. I you had to think. Geez, like you guys really...
Well, I really enjoyed doing it. It's stellar.
I enjoyed it. But we just worked together.
We just did a film together.
Actually, we did talk about that on the set of this movie
that we just did. I liked that movie a lot
and you said that that's the movie that no one can remember
the name of, as I also did not remember the name of.
What's that Dennis Quaid movie?
It's a great movie.
Which is what you call it in Oceans 12. You said I phoned in that Dennis Quaid.? It's a great movie. Which is what you call it in Oceans 12.
You said I phoned in that Dennis Quaid.
I know too much about that scene.
But what's this movie you guys just did together?
Tell us about that.
Well, yeah, you produced it, and you wrote on it, created it.
This is Topher's movie that I was lucky enough to be in in Mexico City.
When Paul came down and wrote all the funny stuff.
He's amazing.
By the way,
I know this is too sincere
for this show.
You'll get cut off
in a second.
It's a great cast.
It's Topher,
Anne Heche,
Taye Diggs,
Rob Riggle.
That's like one of every kind.
Yeah.
Lauren Lapkus, myself, Brian Husky.
Good crew.
And here's the thing that I was upset about the most about this movie.
When you got there, we got to Mexico City, and you're like, oh my gosh, you're going
to have amazing Mexican food.
And the packet they put in the thing is like hey don't eat tacos in Mexico City
you fucking dummy Mexico City has amazing cuisine you waste your time on tacos they talked down to
us in the food brochure that they put in there like the welcome but they still have tacos everywhere
yeah but they were like no don't do it so So I went out almost every night and never ate tacos. I was like, I got to eat Argentinian food and German food, I guess.
Funnier to me.
That's weird.
Have you guys been to the movies lately?
Neil Brennan, have you seen anything at the cinema or at home?
I've been watching Screeners.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that reminds me. What did you bring for the prize money? Oh, I've been watching Screeners. Oh, yeah. Oh, that reminds me.
What did you bring
for the prize money?
Oh, I brought a shitload
of Screeners, guys.
So, like, that's not
a lot.
I saw you.
You're not supposed
to do that.
Yeah, I shouldn't.
If you win,
don't burn it.
I don't know what
you have to do.
You have to burn it
and then put it online.
Oh, you gave the two
ones that everyone gets.
No.
The judge. Oh, Fear of Everything two ones that everyone gets. The Judge.
Oh, Fear of Everything. The Judge, Boyhood.
Fear of Everything.
Birdman.
Or the full title, the something, something, something.
Most Violent Year.
That did not work out for them.
Zero nominations.
They sent this out to everybody.
That movie is so low.
Into the Woods, Unbroken.
You've watched all of these?
Wouldn't it be fun if I broke this copy of Unbroken?
That would be pretty great.
Into the Woods, didn't see it.
Unbroken, didn't see it.
You just didn't even watch them?
Here, as a responsible, you should take them back.
No, I got dupes.
That's short for duplicates, y'all. as a responsible, you should take them back. No, I got dupes.
That's short for duplicates, y'all.
The last movie I saw was Night at the Museum 3.
In the theater.
Which sounds like a joke.
Do you have like a foster child?
No, I'm not even kidding.
I swear to God,
I'm in the Big Brothers program
and I took my little brother
to go see it.
I swear to God.
That was my guess.
Why else would you go see that?
Yeah, why else would you see it?
And it worked out
for both of you?
Yeah, it was great.
Okay.
I'm trying not to do
a sex joke right now.
I saw a good movie recently
that I want to get
the word out on.
A movie called
The Guest.
It's on iTunes
starring that guy
from Downton Abbey.
Yeah.
And it's really good it's like a
John Carpenter-esque
kind of film
about a guest
I won't tell you
any more than that
but it's funny
it's scary
did you bring
these Earwolf shirts?
yes
I brought two
Christmas themed
Earwolf shirts
it would have been
weird if Topher
brought Earwolf shirts
and I also brought a bag that you can carry home the Earwolf shirts in
that supports your L.A. public libraries.
Because, you know, come on.
Support your L.A. public libraries, you fucking dummies.
And become a big brother.
Become a big brother.
Here, and let's have, this will be signed by Topher Grace.
This item right here.
I didn't bring anything because he wrote me this morning at 9 a.m.
You have to bring
merchandise?
No, I was just like
just bring anything,
you know,
like just whatever.
Like, you know.
Is this going to increase
the value of this?
I hope so.
He signed it
with such contempt.
Did you see that?
I wanted to watch Boyhood with my wife.
My wife!
My wife!
I don't know how to describe how she said it
because I don't remember verbatim,
but she's like,
oh, I can't watch that movie with those...
She thought they were three different kids.
She didn't realize it was one kid over 10 years. I can't watch that movie with those. She thought they were three different kids. Like, she didn't realize it was one kid over, like, ten years.
She can't watch that movie where a different actor takes over the role every six years?
I'm going to sign this boyhood one.
And I say...
Let's see this.
Suck it.
I'd make it in four years.
That doesn't make any sense at all.
All right.
Why drag it out, you're saying?
Yeah. Just get it over with.
You could have done it in four years.
Someone could change enough in four years
that it's interesting.
But Topher didn't...
Yeah, four through eight is a great...
You could get a lot of different faces in there.
Quickly though, Paul,
you're on this new show, Fresh Off the Boat.
Yeah.
Controversial program.
Where do you stand?
Are you pro or against?
Let me come do my Asian baby thing.
I am pro. I am pro.
I am pro-Asian.
I've always said pro-Asian.
You played Mitch on the show?
Where do you get this information?
Yes, I played Mitch on the show
fresh off the boat.
ABC, February 4th.
Back-to-back episodes
after Modern Family.
Actually, I think the show is really funny.
Sure.
I've heard it's funny.
I've heard that.
Yeah, it's very funny.
I wouldn't bring it up if it looked like garbage.
It's based on this guy Eddie Wong's memoir.
Eddie Wong is this New York City kind of chef,
and his family moved to Orlando,
and they're the only Asian people in town.
So it's kind of like a wonder...
Asian 80s wonder years.
Or 90s. Yeah, and the dad is very funny.
He's great in the interview. Yeah, Randall Park's the dad.
He's great. And it's created
by Nanachka Khan who
created that show
The Bee in Apartment 23, which I also
thought was pretty funny.
Well, not too much of a point for that.
Right.
Thought it was funny.
Well, you know,
that's part of why
it's gone
is because people
just didn't catch it
at the right, you know,
just didn't hit the right.
But fresh off the boat,
February 4.
Let's do it, you guys.
Guys, I'm a 9 out of 12.
If all 100 of us watch it,
I think it's going to do
pretty good.
It's the Asian blackish.
All of us watch it.
I think it's going to do pretty good.
It's the Asian blackish.
Has anybody in this panel seen Two Days, One Night?
Never. The French film that Marion Cotillard got nominated for Best Actress for?
No.
It is...
Imagine The Office if it wasn't comedy,
if it was a dramatic version of The Office.
The British or American Office?
Just either one.
Do they look at the camera?
The French one, the French one,
where it's just people in uncomfortable conversations
for the entire movie.
Do they do zoom-ins and people look at the camera and stuff?
No, no, it's not documentary style.
It's played like it's a narrative feature,
No, it's not documentary style.
It's played like it's a narrative feature,
but it's also very intense and a small story of this one woman who has to convince at least half of the people she works with
to give up their annual bonus so that she won't get laid off.
And she's got two days to do it.
So every scene is ding-dong.
Hey, could you let go of that 1,000 euros
so I could keep my job?
No?
Okay, nice talking to you.
Bonjour.
And then they kiss.
After an ugly conversation,
they still fucking kiss on the cheek every time.
It's crazy.
So check it out, you guys.
Wait, and Paul is in it?
Paul, you're in it?
I am in it.
Paul is in it.
He plays...
I play your boss.
I'm like, you get that money!
I'm American here in France, and I want that money!
Go out, get it!
I have a big Texas oil hat on,
and a pin that says,
I am for Asians.
Real quick, because of the timing,
Super Bowl prediction?
Neil Brennan?
Fucking
Seattle.
All right.
Yeah.
Topher?
I would say the same.
I'd say Seattle as well.
All right, you guys. I'm going Seattle as well. All right, you guys.
I'm going to say the Pats because, you know,
I want people from Boston to still listen to this program.
I mean, all I have to say...
Even if the Patriots win, it will be an asterisk.
People will be like, they don't belong there
because they deflated those balls.
And then it will be a whole thing.
That is the weirdest
controversy.
Bill Nye. Bill Nye
and
Neil deGrasse Tyson both have come out
and been like, it's impossible.
They were like, Neil deGrasse Tyson said
the balls would have had to have been heated up
to 150 degrees
and then immediately brought out into the cold
for them to have had that happen to them.
So yeah,
there's a little fact for you.
Well, this is the
perfect time for me to say, let the games
begin!
Gentlemen,
audience members have brought various
personal IDs and name tags and various things.
So just go out amongst them.
And, yeah, there are posters sometimes.
Sometimes it's a guy's phone.
And just go out there, Topher and Neil and Paul, and pick whatever name tag you like to play for.
I'll go with the Lion King one.
And while you do that, just go grab it from him.
Are you going to make him come to you?
I kind of like that.
While you guys do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
And we're back.
Who are you playing for, Neil Brennan?
I'm playing for, is his name on here?
He's got a
Glenn Gary Glenn Ross poster.
Yeah, so his name,
I know this gentleman, is Glenn.
Oh, it's Glenn. But he's also got
Glenn Campbell, Gary Busey,
and Ross from Friends.
Why does Ross from Friends have
a helmet on his head
like he's...
Like from the movie.
Like they did in the movie.
Like Jack Lemmon wore in the movie.
Hold that up some more.
I want to make a vine of it.
I got my vine up and running again.
I'm so...
Are you doing your vines again?
I'm so excited about my vines.
Oh, man.
Who are you playing for, Tovar?
I'm playing for Brian, who gave me this, the Brian King.
The Brian King.
That is a delightful name tag.
And it's on a stick, so you can save it and eat it later.
And who are you playing for, Paul Scheer?
I'm doing my best to say his name is James Bend.
James Bend, who has given me a James Bond
like that material poster.
It's a Foley artist's lightning.
It is highlighting
all of the classic Roger Moore movies.
And when you look at them all,
you go, wow, he really didn't make many good ones.
Live and Let Die, good.
Man with the Golden Gun, not so good.
Spy Who Loved Me, I guess kind of good.
Moonraker, not so good.
For Your Eyes Only, kind of okay.
Octopussy, not so good.
Voodoo Kill, definitely not good.
Wow, well, you really got through that so much quicker than that show James Bonding
where they talk about each one for an hour and a half.
But I was on it and it was fun.
It was very fun.
Oh, you did it too?
I thought that was a joke.
I didn't even think it was real.
You did James Bonding, Paul?
I did.
Which movie did you do?
I picked On Her Majesty's Secret Service
because that movie I feel like I really like that no one really cares for.
That's a good one.
Yeah, it's George Lazenby, the one Bond movie.
Yeah, he was one and out, but it was a really good movie.
Yeah, I liked it a lot.
Yeah, yeah.
Tully Savalas?
I'd put it top ten Bond movies.
I would concur.
Okay.
Where would you put that compared to Topher Spider-Man?
I don't think it should be called Topher Spider-Man I really don't think
that's a good meme to put out there
I think that Spider-Man
is easily in the top 10 James Bond films
I think that's
no one's going to argue that
I think it's more like the guy from Wings
Spider-Man Thomas Hayden Church I think that's, no one's going to argue that. I think it's more like the guy from Wings,
Spider-Man.
Thomas Hayden Church.
Mm-hmm.
I thought the guy from Wings would be funnier.
I don't know why.
I don't think people
remember him from Wings.
He was so good on that.
I think people are going,
was Steven Weber
in Spider-Man 3?
What was the name
of his show with,
wasn't he on a show
with Debra Messing?
Yeah, like Ned and Stacey.
That's not like that.
That's exactly right.
Based on the Roman show.
Go home and tell your wife you knew that one.
All right, Neil Brennan,
Topher Grace,
Paul Scheer,
let's play some games starting with
to determine who goes first in the Leonard
Malton game tonight, we're going to do some lines with Mark.
You guys want to do some fucking lines?
Mark Wahlberg is a frequent guest on the show and is nice enough when he can't be here because
of his busy filming schedule.
Gambler 2 is already a big shot. I worked with Mark last week anyway. is nice enough when he can't be here because of his busy filming schedule.
Gambler 2 is already being shot.
I worked with Mark last week anyway.
No big deal.
You did, really?
I did, honestly.
In what?
A movie called Daddy's Home.
You may have seen the viral video of Will Ferrell hitting the cheerleader.
Look behind Will Ferrell, and that's me.
Hitting Mark Wahlberg.
And Mark Wahlberg was there as well.
Oh, okay.
That's their re-teaming since the other guys.
I still haven't seen the other guys.
It's good.
Oh, good.
Guy over there just fucking finished off.
So good.
And one of the funniest
opening scenes in a movie, too.
Steve Coogan's in it.
It's great.
All right.
Go see it.
Other guys.
I'm going to watch it.
I'm watching 365 movies this year, so it fits in perfectly.
I've seen that hashtag.
What does that mean?
Every day you have to do a movie?
Not every day, but I just have to catch up if I don't watch one one day.
I have to watch two the next.
Got it.
I'm about seven.
What if you don't watch one on the second day?
What do you do on the third day?
It gets crazy.
It's all about catch up.
It's all about going through my VOD looking for movies that are 85 minutes.
Yeah.
Just bang those out.
Yeah, how are you picking them?
You're not being assigned them
no I just get to pick I just follow
certain trails like you know
if there's an actor I like in something
and I haven't seen a few of their other films
I'll finish them off
how far into it are you
how many days
we're 27 days in
today's the 27th
when did you start regretting it
no I love it because I really We're 27 days in. Today's the 27th. When did you start regretting it?
No, I love it because I really do.
I'm going to see pretty close to that number anyway.
Maybe 100 shy, so it's just making me work harder at it. Are you writing a book about it or something?
There should be a bigger payoff.
No, that's the weird thing about it.
It's just very low stakes.
I tried a thing last year where it was a movie a day, and I gave up at one point. That's the weird thing about it. It's just very low stakes.
I tried a thing last year where it was a movie a day
and I gave up at one point.
So this year I'm making up for it
by saying,
well, I'll watch 365.
I just won't.
Because I go to film festivals
and see four or five in a day sometimes.
Right.
So that ends up making up for it.
That's going to be a great week for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is a great week for me.
I love watching movies all day.
No, I know.
I'm just saying, but that will be like a good makeup week.
You can go there like 20 behind and you're back in.
You're back in.
Mm-hmm.
I like it.
Let's talk about this on your podcast.
All right.
Because it's also a movie podcast.
What movie have you seen recently that is the most like, why did that, you know, how did this get made?
Which one did you have both of those questions for uh the one that was they both the one that we just did was tango and cash uh which is stallone and kurt russell and the thing
that i'm still blown away by it's supposed to be like two cops from the opposite side of the tracks.
One's from Beverly Hills and one's from downtown L.A.
But there's no difference between them at all.
Like, you would think, like, you know, Kurt Russell would be like, fuck it, I'll shoot those guys.
And then Stallone would be like, no, no, we'll talk to them.
But they're both like, fuck it, we'll shoot those guys.
Like, the only difference is one wears a Henley and one wears a suit. And for a majority of the movie, they're both like, fuck it, we'll shoot those guys. The only difference is one wears a Henley
and one wears a suit.
And for a majority of the movie,
they're both wearing prison costumes.
So really, it's Muddy's.
In Muddy's, there's no like, oh, he uses his smarts,
he uses his brawn.
They both use their brawn all the time.
That's probably why there wasn't a sequel.
Yeah, you're probably right. yeah i i thought of a title
for it though yeah tango cash 2 let's dance
okay one more thing about tango cash amazing the whole movie leads up to them high-fiving
like that's the end of the movie like they won't high-five they get close to it the
entire movie like hey you're not so ah you're not so bad but they won't they don't high-five
at the end of the movie they literally like put it back in their pocket yeah they get close to it
and they pull it away and then the end is bam and then freeze frame cover the newspaper
tangle and cash are back literally that's how the movie
the movie is told through so many
newspaper headlines
it's comical
not since Newsies
have you seen
the front page of a paper so often
in a film
I've been alive for a couple years
four or five years
and I've never seen cops be front page headlines
and never seen a cop called out.
I've never gotten to know a cop team.
Yeah.
No matter how good their drug busts are.
I've lived in a bunch of cities.
I've lived in New York and Chicago,
and I lived in Orlando for a little bit, guys.
You're never following the exploits of two roadside drug drivers.
I've never fallen in love with a cop team. Fair enough. Orlando for a little bit, guys. You're never following the exploits of two real time
in love with
Cop Team. Fair enough.
Mark Wahlberg is going to say
a
line from a mosted picture.
And the
first one of you to say into your microphone
the title of the movie,
you will win this
game. So listen up.
You guys want to do some fucking lines?
Yeah, we are.
All I wanted was something to eat.
But the man caught potion, sir.
They drew first blood.
Not me.
I got a Rambo first blood.
Oh.
Yeah, it's just called first blood.
Why is he saying first blood
in the quote?
That would be a little tough.
That's ridiculous.
But you still were the fastest to repeat it back.
That's First Blood.
First Blood.
Because you just heard him say First Blood.
Hey, I win that way.
I'll take that win.
Paul Scheer's our winner, everybody.
Yeah.
That's a Tom Brady win that I'm taking.
Mm-hmm.
All right, so here's what we're going to do do We're going to play a Leonard Maltin game
First person to two points is going to be our winner
We'll start with Paul
And then we'll go to Neil
And then next to you, Topher
So by then you should have a good idea
What's going on
Paul
Celebrating a birthday today
Our friend Patton Oswalt
very nice
yeah
he turns 27 today
and
so the films of Patton Oswalt
great
he's been in at least
seven films reviewed
by Leonard Bolton
at Asa underscore Davis
suggested Glove Actually
okay
Glove Actually and thatve Actually. And that's
the films of O.J. Simpson.
Okay.
And then
someone named Rocktober Serps
S-U-R-P-R-Z
suggested Turner and Cooch.
Turner and Cooch.
And that's movies where Kathleen
Turner appears nude.
Movies where you see Kathleen Turner's cooch.
Wow.
You see Turner and cooch.
All right, well.
Which one of those would you like to play?
I'm going to go.
Have you been in a movie with Patton Oswalt?
I might have been.
Yeah, so that could be a leg up.
I know.
I would pick Patton, but I feel like he may be in things I don't know,
so I'm going to go with O.J. Simpson.
Okay.
Because we all know all of his stuff.
Yeah.
1977 is the year.
Okay.
Three stars from Leonard.
He calls this movie entertaining.
He says it's epic.
And he says it was filmed in France
And Italy
And he lists
Looks like 11 names
How many names
Can you get it in Paul Scheer
8 names
He says 8 names Neil Brennan
Playing for Glenn
This is the OJ one
Paul's playing for Ben
This is the OJ category right Paul's playing for Ben. This is the OJ category, right?
Yeah, 1977.
Let's go.
I guess I'll...
I'm pretty sure Patton wasn't in films yet at that point.
What?
All right, I sense the tone.
I sense the tone.
I know that.
What'd you say?
Can I pass?
Nuh-uh.
Then I'll try seven.
Okay.
He says seven, Topher.
Now, Topher, at this point, you can challenge Neil and say, name that movie, or you can go lower.
You can fuck him over right now.
And then you get the point.
I get the point, but you ask me the question, and I have to get it right.
Right now.
If you say name it to Neil, if he can't do it with these names, then you'll get the point.
Oh, name it.
Yeah.
Oh, Jason.
It's not the Naked Gun.
I'm in real trouble.
What do you get, seven?
I hadn't thought, but the location thing
really turned me around.
Okay.
Lionel Stander.
Of course.
Aida Valley.
Oh, she's...
Okay, now I know.
Ingrid Thulin.
I'm psyched to win this.
John Philip Law.
OJ Simpson.
Lee Strasberg.
What?
Wow.
Yeah.
That's six.
And Martin Sheen.
Do you give any... Martin Sheen? Mm-en. Do you give any hints?
Martin Sheen?
Do you give any hints?
Did you hear those things I said before?
Italy.
France.
Three stars.
Entertaining.
This is entertaining.
How many movies are entertaining?
That narrows it down right there.
Good O.J. movie.
Epic.
I think Topher's going to get a point.
I think he is, too.
I feel like O.J. did.
I think you're in a spot.
I want to say like Frogman or something, but I think that was a TV pilot.
I know that because apparently he used the wetsuit when he murdered Nicole.
That's the truth.
That's what I've heard.
It hasn't been proven.
He would have found that killer if he didn't go to jail
for threatening that guy with a gun. Doug, I do not know
the name of that movie. Can I guess?
You can guess, but this is a really tough
one. Okay, then I won't guess.
No, go ahead and guess, though.
No, it's back to... Just name something
he was in. Well, I was going to say Capricorn 1, but then
I knew that the locations kind of threw me off
and then I was going to say Tower of Inferno. Capricorn 1
with the fake Mars landing
was filmed in France and Italy.
But, you know, that's why it blew me off.
Now it's Towering Inferno, but...
Yeah, that's another one he's in
where he saves the cat at the end.
Yeah, but doesn't...
Which is the wrong way to make screenplay structure.
The lady who falls out of the building,
and not only falls out of it,
but, like, hits her head on the side of it
going down like that guy in Titanic.
Yeah.
That's always brilliant
when that happens.
Tone for Grace has a point
because the film is called
The Cassandra Crossing.
The Cassandra Crossing.
Obviously.
Starring Burt Lancaster,
Sophia Loren,
and Richard Harris.
Wow.
Yeah, classic.
You don't go from top to bottom.
We go bottom up.
Bottom up.
But you're getting it.
By the way, I didn't know the rules either.
And you're winning.
You're winning and you're getting it.
At the same time,
we're going to start with Paul this time
and then go to Topher.
And Paul gets to pick between these categories.
A USA Aussie suggested Ken Jennings,
which is movies that are uh the title is in
the form of a question uh at saggin baggins uh on twitter suggested apollo 86 which is movies
where carl weathers dies okay where apollo gets 86. And Jordan Cole sucks
suggested Interstellar
got her groove back.
Which is Matthew McConaughey
romantic comedies.
Wow.
I'm going to pick.
Okay.
I'm going to.
What was the middle one? I'm sorry.
Apollo 86.
Apollo 86.
Carl Weathers dies.
Would you like a movie where Carl Weathers dies
from 1985, 1987, or 1996?
He had a tough time getting through movies.
I'm going to say...
Let me take 96.
Okay.
Two stars from Leonard.
He says that the lead performer in this movie co-wrote the script.
He also says that a brawl in the movie is a highlight.
And I think that's all I can say.
It's a vehicle?
That's not a good clue.
And he lists 11 names.
All right.
How many names can you get it in?
Ten names.
He says ten names, Topher.
What are you going to do about that?
You can go nine names, or you could say name it,
but in my experience,
that's a lot of names
for a good player
like Paul Scheer.
Okay.
I'm going to go nine names.
Just shave one off, yeah.
Yeah.
That's the best advice
you could get.
I know the movie.
Well, you know,
you can go negative names
if you fear that Paul Scheer might also go to the movie.
Can I get the point back that Tover got?
No, no, that's his to keep.
That's mine, dude. That's mine.
A one is points.
But I appreciate your spirit.
What do I do?
If you know the top build person, you can go negative one.
If you know the top two build people in the right order,
you can go negative two, three, four, five, and so on. Or you could just say. If you know the top two people in the right order, you can go negative two,
three, four, five,
and so on.
Or you could just say zero
if you know the movie.
Zero.
He says zero names, Paul.
I can't do it.
You can't do it.
What's it called?
Happy Gilmore.
That's correct.
Oh.
That was good.
Neil has a point.
Same producers, half-baked, guys. Same producers, half-baked, guys.
Same producers, half-baked.
Great to see.
I should go.
Topher gets to pick the next category,
and then we will go to Paul,
and Topher gets to choose between
Inherent Lice,
that's summer camp movies,
LOL Cool J,
that's comedies with LOL Cool J.
Or the Blueberry Johnson category, which is, that's who suggested it.
You're in this.
Movies that someone on this panel is in.
Which one of those would you...
Which one of those would you like to play?
It could be me, but I've mostly been an extra, so...
I don't have any big speaking parts in anything.
I've been in two movies, I think.
One of them's half-baked, I know.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna go with movies I might have been in.
Yeah.
All right.
It's gonna be Topher. It's going to be Topher
It's not going to be me
Two and a half stars from Leonard
This sounds like maybe it's mine
Apologies to put your hands together
This movie's from 2004.
Leonard Maltin calls this movie cute.
He also calls it slight at best.
No names.
Wait a second.
Slow down.
Sorry.
And he lists eight names.
Paul Scheer gets to bid first, so that's a bit of a clue.
I am going to say zero names.
I'm sorry.
Wait a second.
Topher gets to bid first.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you said zero names?
What's negative?
Do I get extra points for that?
Negative is no extra points, but you might win the game.
Negative is you've got to name the performers from the top of the billing.
So if you go negative willing, you've got negative names.
Do you have names?
You just have to go negative one, just name the top-billed person.
Like if you said Mission Impossible, you'd be like Tom Cruise.
In the right order.
Yeah, that's the tricky part.
According to Leonard.
All you need is one or two. What's right order. Yeah, that's the tricky part. According to Leonard. All right.
How many?
One or two.
What's your first pick?
Oh, he needs one.
When you say negative one, that's all you need.
You don't have to go to all the eight or something.
You don't have to show off like that.
Whatever you think he can't do.
Hang on, hang on.
Does it have to be in Leonard Maltin's order, though?
That's what I'm afraid of.
That's the trick.
It's in Leonard Maltin's order.
Yeah, I wouldn't go too deep.
He changes it up sometimes.
Oh, it's not top billing. It's in Lanham on Dorn. Yeah, I wouldn't go too deep. He changes it up sometimes. Oh, it's not top billing.
It's tricky.
It normally is top billing.
It's pretty normal.
I like that you still remember the billing
from one of your movies fucking 10 years ago.
Can I also include what I got paid for?
Far from one of Paul O'Neill's movies.
I really do believe I know this,
but I'm excited to see.
I know I know this.
So how many negative do you want to go?
I'm going to go...
Just don't go too crazy.
I would be buying this. I want to impress, though. It go? I'm going to go... Just don't go too crazy. I would be mine.
I want to impress, though.
It's my first time.
You're already winning.
Yeah.
That's true.
I'm going to do negative three.
That's what I was going to do.
Yeah.
That's all I know.
I only know this is...
This is one of the rare movies
that doesn't end in a question mark.
It ends in an exclamation point.
And that is Win a Date with Tad Hamilton.
Did I poker face it?
What do you mean?
Paul still gets to bid.
No.
Do I?
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I can't do more than three.
So you're going to say name that movie?
Name that movie totally.
All right.
So yeah, that's...
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton.
That's the correct title.
Top billed person is? Kate Bosworth. Second? Me. Name that movie, Topher. All right. So yeah, that's the correct title. Top Bill person is?
Kate Bosworth.
Second?
Me.
Third?
Josh Duhamel.
Whoa, I would not have thought that.
You got it correct.
Topher is our winner.
Where's the Brian King?
Come down and get your prizes, Brian King.
Brian, I did this for you.
Congratulations, Brian. Does it really end in an
exclamation point? He did it for you. It does.
It does.
I looked at it to confirm. People don't say that name right.
It's not Win a Date with Ted Hamilton. It's like Win a Date with
Ted Hamilton. Win a Date with
Ted Hamilton.
Cute comedy.
Slide it best.
But a winning cast Oh
Fantastic
Yeah
Plays it for real
With no cynicism in sight
Yeah
Who directed it?
That was directed by
Robert Luketic
Is that how you pronounce it right?
That's right
And he did
You know
Legally Blonde
And what else?
Didn't he do The Killers
With Ashton Kutcher?
He got through the whole 70s show cast.
Wait a second.
Ben, you didn't write a thing on the back.
Is there a shithead on there or no?
I just took it.
He put a whole piece of paper, taped it to the back of the name tag.
It was all set to go.
But he didn't have a pen.
Oh, shit. Well, come over, but he didn't have a pen. Oh, shit.
Well, come over here, and I'll give you a pen.
You can write it right on there.
I don't need your whole name tag anymore,
but write it on that table.
I like your Yoda tie.
And take that back.
Well, I'll tell you what I don't like
about the Yoda tie.
First of all, I like the Yoda tie,
but I don't like Yoda's placement in the Death Star throne room.
Weird, right?
Yeah, it should be more of a Dagobah tie.
Fair enough.
Let's see what you have.
I thought you only read my guy.
No, I'll read it.
Just pass it down.
Yeah, that's what they get
because they didn't win.
You won for your guy,
so we're not going to say he's a shithead.
Any plugs, Neil Brennan?
Anything we should know
other than listen to the champs
with Moshe Kasher?
Big brothers.
Become a big brother.
I'm serious, yeah.
It's so easy.
It's super easy.
It's super easy. You can show up in a hoodie. Yeah, you don't got to... Yeah, it's so easy. It's super easy.
You can show up in a hoodie.
Yeah, you don't get a few bucks.
Wait, what was the question?
Do I have anything to plug?
Any plugs?
And he was like,
be a big brother.
Be a big brother, for real.
Yeah, that might have
sounded weird to you.
It was like,
what should we plug, brothers?
Big brothers.
Big brothers are good.
What are you saying?
What's the name of the movie, Topher,
that you made that Paul and you
wrote in?
You don't even have a title yet?
It's going to be a while away. We'll come back for that.
I would love that.
And we'll bring Taye Diggs.
Let's definitely do that.
He loves comedy.
Thank you, Topher, for coming in with nothing to plug.
You got it, man. Thank you for having me.
You didn't really ask him. You may
have something to plug. I don't.
Actually, you know what? I'd really, really
love to get the word out there about
this film that I did in 2004 called
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton.
It's like, I feel like not enough
people saw that. I would
like to plug
my podcast, the Sylvester Stallone
podcast.
It's like cereal, but about
Sylvester Stallone.
It was a daily podcast for 28 days.
You can get it on wolfpop.com
for free.
Did you get to make out with Bosworth
in that movie? Brian Bosworth?
Yeah, I did.
The Bos.
He's so great to work with. When he kisses you, that movie? Yeah. Brian Bosworth? Yeah, I did. The boss. Pretty sweet. The boss.
He's so great to work with and when he kisses you, he like, he
hums a little. It's like cool. It's cute. It's cute.
I'll be at the
My favorite Kate
Bosworth movie. Oh, okay.
While we're on the subject.
I thought we were wrapping it up, but let's talk about
Blue Crush. Let's talk about it.
Who doesn't have a Blue Crush on that movie?
Great movie.
Holy shit.
So good, right?
She looks good
in her little bathing suit.
Probably never been topped.
That's like my favorite Kate.
That's my favorite Kate.
I don't know.
My favorite Kate Bosworth
is called
Win a Date with Ted Hamilton.
I'm going to be at
the Fort Lauderdale Improv
on Tuesday, February 24th
just yelling
Win a Date with Ted Hamilton
all over and over again.
Thank you guys for being here.
Neil Brennan, Topher Grace, Paul Scheer.
As always,
sharks are a shithead
and Topher's Asian baby is a shithead.