Doug Loves Movies - Trey Galyon, Dale Cheesman, Michelle Biloon and Joe Matarese guest
Episode Date: June 5, 2019Live from the Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, Doug welcomes Trey Galyon, Dale Cheesman, Michelle Biloon and Joe Matarese to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies o...n Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie, maybe sticky seeds.
With 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth, there's still not one that he won't see.
Because Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
It's like you guys practiced or something.
Coming to you once again from one of my favorite spots to do this show,
Helium in Philadelphia. Hallelujah!
Hashtag gas.
It's Tuesday, June 9th, 2019.
And I never have to worry about your name tag game here.
You guys are always solid.
But let's go ahead and take a look at it real quick.
Oh, no. Yeah, there's take a look at it real quick. Oh, no.
Yeah, there's always a bunch of good ones here.
A lot of tasty snacks.
You've seen that damn monkey before, haven't we?
Oh, my God.
There's a whole stuffed monkey hanging onto that every which way but loose.
What'd you change it to?
Every which way you... Any which way. Any Which way you... Annie. Which way you can.
I like it. Oh, this Avengers
really lights up.
I'll be surprised if that one
doesn't get picked. Indiana Jewel
and the Temple of Doug.
Oh, I like this. This is
the movie Rob Roy. He changed it to
Rob Roy. He changed it to Rob Rob.
The Matt with the golden gun.
Tina and Dale versus evil.
This is good.
You guys did good.
There's a Holly weed sign.
Of course, I like that
one, but I can't vouch for
the stoniness of my guests tonight.
But thank you, everybody, for bringing
name tags, and good luck.
Doug plugs.
The Cannabis and Cheese Tour continues
Thursday night
with a stand-up show at
Magoobie's Joke House in Timonium M.D.
That's right, Timonium is a doctor.
That's why the M.D. is there.
Saturday and Sunday I'm doing stand-up and a Douglas Movies taping,
one each day at the DC Improv, and those are
both at 420. Oh, and I just found out
today that Douglas Movies is sold out
already, so come to the stand-up
show and we'll play a game from Douglas
Movies to make up for it.
Looking ahead, Fort Worth, Texas.
Let's do this. It's been a
while. Sunday, June 16th at
420 at Hyena's. Maybe
I shouldn't have
booked a show on the afternoon of Father's Day
in
Fort Worth. Is Father's Day big
in Fort Worth? Is that where all the
best dads in the world are in
Fort Worth and can't go
see my stoner comedy show
because they're such great dads?
For all of my dates and deets and links
go to Douglowsemovies.com.
That's douglosemovies.com!
Yeah!
Come on!
Come on!
I came in too soon on that,
but you guys know what I was doing.
Dug out to the people who came to
this tour in
Providence. The crowd was
so good that I promised
to come back to the Comedy Connection
with a Doug Loves Movies taping
someday in the future.
You know, six months
to a year, so somewhere in there.
I got some awesome prizes for you guys.
Yeah, all in a beautiful laundry bag.
And I've got...
It feels like it's dripping on me for some reason.
So I don't know what's going on there.
I've got a Douglas Movie sticker,
a T-shirt from Moe Greens out in San Francisco,
a really cool smoking lounge.
We'd wear that around here.
People would be like, whoa.
And you'll be like, no, Moe.
Moe Greens.
I got a tiny ketchup.
I like those little ketchups.
I got, I was in, you know,
the last Douglas movies was in Boston,
so I got a book from my hotel room called Boston.
So enjoy reading that.
And then we got these for sale tonight after the show
and for all of my shows until they're all gone.
And it's the official...
official... Cannabis and Cheese Tour
poster featuring me and the
cheese man and Da Bong and some
stacks of different cheese that have a lot of green
in them. So I don't know if it's cheese with weed in it or cheese that's gone very, very
bad. Or in the case, isn't there one cheese that when it goes bad, it's good?
Blue cheese? Then your guy over there's like, sure.
This isn't your food cast, food podcast, Doug. Food cast. Welcome to the food cast. All right,
so all that's going in the bag. I'll be out in the lobby for free photographs
and pictures
and posters
that I'll sign if you want to buy one.
And let's get
my guests out here.
We got four good ones.
Please, give it up
for Michelle Balloon,
Joe Matariz,
Dale Cheeseman, and Trey Gallio!
Oh!
Oh my God.
There's just enough room for the chairs,
not enough room to walk between the chairs.
We are packed in.
Very tricky.
We're really packed in,
but that's the amount of talent
that's hanging out in Philly,
that we have four great guests,
so we're going to make room for all of y'all.
Let's meet them individually,
starting with the lady to my left,
Michelle Balloon, everybody!
Yay!
Yay!
Hey, Philly!
Hello, Philly!
Hello! How are you doing, Philly?
Nice weather today!
Really nice. I appreciate you guys coming in
here for a comedy show
instead of dining alfresco
Yes
It's a perfect night for it tonight
It would really suck if the weather went bad again tomorrow
And then for the rest of the year
That one perfect day
Everyone's in here watching a goddamn podcast
You better knock on some wood right now, Doug
Because you might have just ruined Philly's weather
No
Put it into the universe I couldn't do that.
I'd feel
really sad if I did, though.
And you know what I would say?
What would you say?
Wah, wah.
Alright, so...
Michelle, of course,
is a hilarious comedian. If you're good
at going back and finding things, the two of us,
she used to do a show called
Walking with Michelle
and we did an episode where we just walked around
Six Flags Magic Mountain out in
California and recorded it.
And you gave me a pot pill
and I am afraid
of roller coasters and it was terrifying.
So it was a perfect combo.
We had a wonderful day.
It was fun. And then now you're out here with
your family in Philadelphia doing stand-up here.
And what's your Twitter?
How do people find you on the Twitter?
At Balloon, B-I-L-L-O-O-N and Instagram.
I've started making stories, so it's a very exciting time for the Balloon brands.
Do you do stories?
I decided to do the stories.
I'll do stories sometimes.
Yeah, why not?
I'm good at them.
I'm not good at them, so I've got to work on it.
But there's a gentleman in the front row who I complained about the Photoshopping of my head on his name tag on Twitter, and he redid it and made it better.
Oh.
I mean, Jeff, come on, man.
Why didn't you just say, fuck you, Doug?
I'm not one of your minions.
But anyway, he took the Jeff who lives at home poster
and stuck me and Dale on there.
And Doogie.
And the traffic lady from the radio show.
Not me.
Yeah, not Michelle.
Well, thank you for being here, Michelle.
I'm so happy to see you, Doug.
I know, isn't it funny?
Comedians, you can't say anything sincere.
People just think you're fucking around all the time.
I'm so happy to see you, Michelle.
Fantastic here in town.
I'm glad we ran into each other.
I've got to find out something about this next guy
because I think it's his first time on the show,
but let's find out.
It's Joe Mattarese, everybody.
Hello.
It is.
It's your first time on Douglas Movies.
It is my first time.
Does that get a special chant?
No. Oh, shit. Yeah, you that get a special chant? No.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, you get a very special chant.
That's so funny.
Because backstage, they all said the crowd's super nice,
and they never boo.
And then boo right out of the gate.
Boo.
But it wasn't a committed boo.
It was a Doug Loves Movie boo.
Thank you.
Oh, yeah, it was a fun boo.
Yes. Yeah, it wasn't an angry boo. It was a Doug Loves Movie boo. Thank you. Oh yeah, it was a fun boo. Yes. Yeah, it wasn't an
angry boo.
But thank you for
taking the plunge and being on the show.
It's a little overwhelming
for first time guests.
Nah.
Okay. See, I'm
originally from the Philly area
so it works.
Yes, I'm a Cherry Hill, New Jersey, exit four.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry, I'm not... There's that brotherly love.
There we go.
Wrong side of the river, homie.
Yeah.
That had a mainline fuck you going on right there.
I felt like Ardmore was like, boom.
It had a scarf on it, that boom.
Fucking shut up with your perfect homes.
All right. Go Bryce Harper. All right.
Go Bryce Harper.
All right.
Thanks for being here, dude.
And of course,
to his left on every show of this tour,
it's Mr. Dale Cheeseman.
That's right.
For the rest of this tour,
I will only be on the left of John.
So expect that.
Has it been fire like this the whole time on tour?
Just lightning in a bottle.
That's all I have.
He really turns it off when the recording...
I mean, shit.
He turns it on when the recording stops
is what I meant to say.
It would have been so good.
Ben, play the music again.
We need to start over.
Burn.
We did what?
We didn't start over.
This has been a perfect recording experience.
Yes, forget it.
You guys, I get things mixed up.
I'm old.
Adult.
Maybe if I explain the joke.
He's John.
Yeah.
Well, you all got it.
Okay.
What's his name?
Don't do that.
Huh?
What?
You mean Joe?
Joe?
That's what I said both times.
Uh-oh.
Start the episode over.
Now we go way back.
Way back, me and Joe.
Oh, I get the joke now.
I got it now.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thanks for being here, dude.
Yeah.
Loving it.
Having a great time.
I heard that you had someone show you all around town today.
Yeah. I had the next guest, who I'm not going to spoil who that you had someone show you all around town today. Yeah, I had the
next guest, who I'm not going to spoil
who that is for all of you.
He walked me around and showed me
all the historical sites, so I got to hear him
explain America's
history.
Fucking nailed it, huh?
For sure. I mean,
close.
Ben Franklin, this is where
he shit.
The one thing we preserved in his whole
house was the shit hole.
That's neat, though. I like
that. It was cool.
Man, historical stuff.
I hope to one day have my
original toilet encased
in plastic
that everyone can see through but not touch because it's
it was a special toilet did he also show you where he worked because there are
two different places or one place where he shit and one place where we work he
was the first person to not shit where he worked yeah then BF invented that. Poor Richard's almanac.
So anyway,
the tour guide here in town,
if anybody else wants to ask him to show you the sights,
it's Trey Gallio!
Trey Gallio!
What's up, Billy?
I love you guys.
Thanks.
Yeah, I love coming here
because I grew up in Mormonster,
which is on the Pennsylvania side.
My wife went to Drexel.
Shut the fuck up.
That's fair. My wife went to Drexel. Shut the fuck up. All right. That's fair.
Fucking Jersey.
My wife.
Come on.
I moved out of Jersey as soon as I hit like 22.
I had to get out, you know.
That's still stuck.
It's true.
It did.
It sucked.
I agree with you.
Sorry, Jersey people.
If they're here.
There's like two.
There's two Doug Love movies people in Jersey.
They're both decked out in Philadelphia gear, so blend in.
No, I mean, I bought all this sports stuff today.
I was walking around and I saw everyone had five pieces of sports.
So we went to the Mitchell & Ness store
where they do sports.
I can't lean forward.
You've got a musical microphone.
That's convenient for a podcast.
If I lean forward to look at someone,
it feeds back. Sweet. I'll be sitting like this for an hour and a podcast. If I lean forward to look at someone, it feeds back. Sweet.
I'll be sitting like this for an hour and a half.
Sometimes, though,
only we can hear it. Sometimes the
listeners don't hear it. That's good editing.
That's when you're in another level of podcasting.
You can pull out the
echo. Alright. The guys
from Jersey, did one of you
tweet at me, come do the show in
Jersey? Because I always say to those people,
I'll do it in Philadelphia.
It wasn't you guys?
Well, I appreciate you making the effort.
Because I don't want to go to New Jersey.
They probably don't know what podcasts are in Jersey, right?
What is it?
How do you do that? Fucking 28-year-olds don't know what podcasts are in Jersey, right? What is it? How do you do that?
Fucking 28-year-olds don't know how to download a podcast.
How do you do it?
Shut up.
There's lots of nice people there.
You know, I'm not against, you know, I'm not completely against New Jersey,
but it's so close to Philadelphia and New York, places that I'd love to go to,
that the whole time I'm in New Jersey, I'd be like, shit,
Philadelphia's right there.
You're going to end up there anyway.
What the fuck am I doing over here?
The funny thing is, when you grow up in Jersey,
you're afraid to go to Philadelphia
or New York. Back in the
80s. I'm old.
Back when racism lived. Remember
those days? I heard about
that. Yeah, it was back in the old days.
Thank God that's over.
So good.
Thank God we won, everybody.
It's a new podcast.
I had my
hands up like, you know, like, yay.
Oh, yeah. But then it just turned into
scratching my arm.
So let's talk prize bag.
We'll start with you, Trey.
What did you bring for us to give away today to one lucky person?
OK, I brought a used Velveeta Room T-shirt.
Velveeta Room's the club in Austin where me and Michelle started doing comedy.
in Austin where me and Michelle started doing comedy.
And then I've got
a used
Creep Records travel grinder.
Yeah.
This thing's been all over the country.
It's heavily used. There's still
I don't know what's in there, but
enjoy.
And then a new Creep Records
t-shirt with the Cobra logo
on it. And then a new Creep Records t-shirt with the Cobra logo on it.
And then a slightly used Trey Galleon Live at Creep Records rolling Trey.
Such a great idea, the Trey Trey.
Trey Trey. I know, right?
Oh, and I brought extras of those.
We'll talk after.
Yeah.
You're going to be out at the merch table?
Yeah, I'll be out there.
All right.
Yeah, we'll kick it.
Yeah.
I'll compete with you.
Yeah, that's fine.
Oh, I should say the poster is by Box Brown,
who is a very cool artist, illustrator.
He does some cool
graphic books.
You can roll weed on mine.
Yeah.
It's the history of the
illegalization of cannabis
is his book. It's really good.
What do you got for us, Dale?
Alright, so
I decked myself out in sports stuff.
I picked up an extra one.
A 76ers hat.
And this is
cool. You can actually show this at the
Philadelphia Public Library
instead of giving them ID.
It's the same thing.
They know you're from here. You can take whatever
you want.
And then somebody bought a Doug Benson pen and left it.
Idiots.
Yeah.
So I scooped that from Mish the Dish.
So check her out on Instagram and tell her what happened to her pen.
Maybe you can return it to her.
Do the right thing.
And that's the end.
The end.
She bought an extra one and was like,
does anybody want it?
And you said, I want it.
And then she gave it to you.
Scooped.
What?
That's good.
You got called dibs, man.
Yeah, I got snoped.
Word.
He turned an okay story into an okay story?
Is that what happened?
I punched it sideways.
Oh, got it. Okay, yeah.
Lateral moves.
Joe, what have you got for us?
All right, so I must have
misread.
I have ADD, so I probably
misheard or misread the email
that said what to bring.
You guys brought all this creative, cool, hilarious shit.
And I just brought a whole bunch of the same thing.
I think it's great.
That made it funnier.
It's actually a lot of two things.
So I thought it'd be funny.
The guy who wins gets like four of the same thing,
and then four more of the other same thing.
Okay.
Whoa!
It's two of your records.
This is my one-hour comedy special that's on Amazon Prime.
Okay.
That's called The Poster's Wrong, shot at this club.
Oh, okay.
There he is.
So there's...
Do I give them to you?
Yeah.
Here's all four.
Okay.
And then this is me
before I went on
antidepressants.
It's an all heckler album
where I just argue
with 11 different people.
Yeah.
It's called
When a Comedian Attacks.
That's awesome.
Sells way better than me being
on track
and funny.
There's actually a track called
Cocksucker Cunt that I recommend.
Well, can we talk about what everybody's
looking at right now?
Oh, I didn't even see.
Jesus.
I'm like, I'm bombing and then I look.
So yeah, so the elephant in the room is Michelle's gift
it's a re-gift my mom
likes to give me absurdly practical
ridiculous gifts for holidays
and she gave this to me
I used it for one week while she was
in my house and now I don't want it
anymore
but it turns out I walked
past people and in the green room
everybody wants it. How many people in here
would like to bring this home with you?
I love it.
For the listeners, she's talking about
Oh yeah, thank you.
Never tell them. Never tell them.
Just between us.
This amazing thing
that Michelle brought. At least 70 percent of the
people here clapped when you said who would like to take this home um it's possibilities it's uh
i'll go to it's a it's a cereal dispenser much like you would find in your average days in
west best your best of westerns i think we had some lucky charms on one side,
some Raisin Bran on the other.
You can do what you want.
It's up to you.
Yeah, let's, thank you.
It was a lot of space.
I had the Uber in.
I didn't want to take that on the trolley.
This isn't electric?
Where's the cord?
No, man.
It's back to the roots, you know.
You got to crank it.
Crank that cereal out like you want it.
That's beautiful.
You don't get it unless you got it in the work.
Hey, you got some cereal back there?
Let's try this shit out.
Oh, there we go.
What is that?
There's like...
There. Okay.
There.
There, powder.
You guys, it works. See?
It's mint. It's mint.
Alright, so that's going in the... That's not going in the prize bag. It's mint. It's mint. All right.
So that's not going in the prize bag.
It's going to be adjacent to the prize bag.
I think we should put all the food items in here, into it, and then grind it out, and that's another prize.
Of sorts, yes.
All right.
So let me get these bags here.
Do you want me to hold something? Let's consolidate everything. No, I'm me get these bags here. Do you want me to hold something?
Consolidate everything.
No, I'm just moving everything down here.
I just want to make this as easy as possible for the winner tonight,
and I don't think that's going to happen.
Yeah, no.
I don't think this is going to be easy winnings to take home, so good luck.
And one question before we get to the game portion of the show.
Start with you, Trey.
You know what the question is.
Last movie I saw was
Behind the Curve.
The documentary about the flat earth.
Yeah, sold, man.
Bought the t-shirt and everything.
Yeah, I'm going to the conference.
Flat Earth, bitches.
Get on board.
You couldn't text me or something?
Hey, I'm a Flat Earth guy now.
No, no.
We're only allowed to text Shaq.
And he's a flat earth thing?
Yeah, or he was.
I don't know if he still is.
He's changed his mind.
Shaquille O'Neal, the big basketball player dude.
God damn it.
God damn it.
Was there another?
Yeah.
Kyrie Irving's a big one.
Oh, really?
Well, if anyone should be able to see the curvature of the earth, it's those really tall guys.
Right? Maybe they're right. That's those really tall guys. Right.
Maybe they're right.
That's what I'm saying.
We don't know.
There's no way to know.
Look.
So you'd recommend it, Trey?
Yeah, totally.
Watch it, man.
You'll be convinced.
What was the last movie you saw, Dale?
I saw Booksmart.
There you go.
There we go.
Heard it's good.
Yeah.
Okay.
So funny.
Not good?
I don't know.
It's all right. It's all right.
75% on Rotten Tomatoes.
That's good.
I agree with the people.
75%.
95%.
Weird messages.
Critics loved it.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
What did your mom say?
That was like a mom joke, but a compliment.
It wasn't like I fucked your mom.
It was like your mom's a critic.
I don't know what that meant.
What did your mom say?
You can tell I locked you up for a second.
Like, what?
Okay.
That'll pass.
Whatever my mom likes usually sucks, though, so I don't know.
I go oppo with my mom.
How on top of movies does she see them right when they come out
So you know what sucks and you just go by her
Review
That's what I'm asking for here specifically
If she hasn't seen it but if she said
It sucked go see it immediately
It's the greatest movie ever made
Well I think your mom will like Booksmart
That's funny
It's funny because my brother-in-law
Wants to see that movie really bad
And I go oppo with him too
So you proved that he's wrong
Without me even having to go spend the money
Thank you
I haven't even met him but screw that guy
It's not one of those good high school movies
No it was fun
It was just
I gave it like a C
overall.
It was a good movie, wasn't it, Doug?
I meant to see it today.
I loved it.
I wanted to see it today. I didn't.
Sorry I'm a little distracted by this box of Tasty Cake
Junior.
Nice.
Because I don't understand
like, okay, so on the box
they look like this guy.
That's what's supposed to be in here.
And then you open it up, this box that was already open that you brought.
And you open it up, and then there's these two little guys,
which are not, I don't think these are Chocolate Juniors.
So you mix and match them?
You just put different, oh, you had to tear through it
to tape some onto your name tag.
Okay.
Well, never mind then.
Backstory approved.
Yeah, but also too suspicious
for me to take a bite of one now.
It was mouthy.
I was like, please don't hand me one of those.
I'm not taking it.
Yeah, I feel like it's not worth the risk.
No.
I'll totally eat those.
Come on, look at the guy.
You can tell.
You know who you should sit for.
Well, then you might.
That's the thing, Joe, is when it gets time to pick a name tag,
you might want to pick one that's got delicious treats glued to it.
Going.
Okay.
He said, I'm going to.
How about if they're open, though?
Yeah. And put on shuffle. Okay He said that I'm going to How about if they're open though Yeah
And put on shuffle
What's the last movie you saw Joe?
See I was asking these guys
About this backstage
You can say what movie
You watched like 15-20 minutes of
And then fell asleep
Does that count?
That counts as theater right?
Yeah that's interesting
Well I got two kids 11 and 7 And once in a while You gotta pick a movie That you're like 20 minutes of and then fell asleep. Does that count? That counts as theater, right? Yeah, that's interesting.
Well, I got two kids, 11 and 7,
and once in a while you got to pick a movie that you're like, oh, maybe this will be okay for me
and they'll love.
And we picked the other.
Your kids are 7 and 11?
Yeah.
That's convenient.
Keep them that way.
Sweet.
Sweet.
And I could have said 11 and 7.
I am a fucking comedy.
I play the game, folks.
We're like Martin and Lewis.
I'm sorry.
What was the movie you saw with your kids?
I watched 20 Minutes of the Other Guys
with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell.
And I heard from...
When comedians tell you it's good, you trust them.
I think they were fucking with me.
I hated that movie.
I couldn't get into it myself,
but there are people that enjoy it.
I had some moments.
Wahlberg kind of got to me in that one.
I couldn't watch him after a while in that one for some reason.
Him doing comedy doesn't work real well for me in some circumstances.
Like Sam Jackson's in it too, right?
Or somebody?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's in it.
Yeah, yeah.
He's one of the, yeah.
Everybody's in it.
It's one of those movies that just got a cavalcade.
I'm sorry.
I agree with your mom on this one.
That's a really funny movie.
You liked it? I do.
I really like that movie.
See, I could tell you.
More so. I love Dale.
I really love this new friendship I have with
your mom.
I could tell
you're younger than me because
I'm at an age where if a movie isn't
good, I never go, it was fun.
I go, that fucking sucked.
I want my money back. It was fun.
I've never said that, leaving a movie
that sucked.
I gotta write 90 negative tweets.
I didn't not see a movie.
That's for sure.
Jesus.
I didn't even get that.
Okay, we're gonna move past it. My Adderall did not kick in. I even get that. Okay, we're going to move past it.
My Adderall did not kick in.
I just missed that.
Can you explain that to me?
What?
He said, I did not see a movie.
You know, we're setting up an environment
where I'm just not going to tell jokes anymore.
Oh, damn!
If they're just going to get double analyzed
down the line every time.
That's funny.
I like that.
I like that.
Is my mic cutting in and out?
A little bit.
Yeah.
Is that?
I don't want you to implode.
Like, it's fine.
Maybe if I just stand motionless.
It is working most of the time.
Whatever you're doing. Whatever you're doing,
you're doing right. The last time I was here,
somebody got that microphone and it
cut out like crazy.
What was the last movie you saw? We'll try that
and see if your mic's working.
Last week I saw John Wick 3.
It was awesome.
I love it. I love the first two
and this one. Did you like it?
It's chapter 3, first of all.
You don't seem book smart to me.
No.
It was good. I thought it was crazy.
The horse, the dogs, Halle Berry.
It was fucking, it was
so good. In that order.
Yes, in that order. The horse, the dogs,
Halle Berry.
Sorry, Halle, but those
were amazing horses and dogs.
It was in chronological order
as I was thinking of it. It was amazing.
But give that, I just want there to be a chapter
four where he just takes a hot shower
and a nap and I'll watch it in real time
because I
can't believe it. Like it's, have you ever
like, I had siblings and we fought and I remember
how tired I got. Like that's insane.
He's fought for like five days.
Yeah, he's always out of breath and limping
and not eager to have a conversation about anything.
No.
I just want to remember my love.
I'm like, fuck you.
I would just, that's not enough for me.
But I love the movie.
This is his response when somebody asks him if he's tired.
Yeah, I am tired.
All right, calm down.
Did you see Always Be My Maybe?
I haven't, but I hear he's hilarious in it.
He's great.
I hear Keanu Reeves steals the comedy from Ali Wong and Randall Park.
Randall Park.
Michelle Buteau's in it.
She's great.
Oh, she's hilarious, too.
Yeah, she's great in it.
I'm going to watch this goddamn movie.
It's good.
Right after I finish these fries right here.
No, it's okay.
I'm just joking around.
I'm pretty high, though.
Well, that's our movie roundup right there.
A lot of things for you guys to check out.
This is the part where I say,
turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
Light them up.
Yeah, some of them light up.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Lady and gentlemen, pick your name tags.
It's hard to see the rest.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
All right, we did it.
We're back.
There's more Dunkin' Donuts making their way to the stage.
We got some Dunkin' Munchkins.
Gentlemen, let Michelle back through here to come over and get her terrific microphone.
I switched yours with Joe while you guys were out there.
Oh, thank you.
Fuck that guy, right?
That's hilarious.
I mean, did I say we're back?
We're back, if I didn't.
We're double back.
We're completely back.
What do you have here, Michelle?
I love it.
Not just because my...
I didn't know my face was on it
until I walked about with it,
so now it's a nice surprise.
Love, Zachually.
Nice job, Zach.
Great job.
Just got you on there,
and Trey, and Doogie, and Dale.
Doogie and Chip, rest in peace.
Preston and Steve, Mike Birbiglia, and me.
Oh, good guesses.
Finally, the remake everyone wants of Love Actually.
I appreciate the picture you chose off of Google,
because that can always be hit or miss.
Some real shit out there.
Yeah, they always get me.
It's all squinty and stuff.
Oh, Chip Chantry also is on there.
That's cool.
Alright, what do we got for...
Who's Joe Mattarese going to play on behalf of?
I have Lauren is 30, unrated.
Oh, hell...
And she sort of got knocked up.
There you go.
It's a play on a couple of different titles.
Yeah, it's two titles, right?
Why'd you pick that
I don't know
That This Is 40 movie is in my queue
And I never watched it
And somehow
Lauren is 30
And you know
I'm a guy
So I picked it for that maybe
That totally makes sense
I followed you
I asked you why because I had a sense it would be really interesting.
Dale?
No, I meant that the girl who was holding it was attractive.
Oh, nice lady.
Yeah, okay.
You know, I pretended this was a visual podcast.
And you know how they put hot people in shows?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, Dale, who do you
got there?
Oh, I like that
already.
Hunt for the Wilderpeetpole?
I love it!
That's really good.
Good job, Pete.
He's got you and me and I'm
in charge.
I'm on there as the fat kid.
You're in charge!
I was the only one that he's announced announced that is coming out so I feel like
the prettiest girl at the dance tonight
there were so many
great me themed posters
and I definitely want to keep them
all afterwards
I'm doing this one
alright good job
Trey? Yeah you had to do this one. All right, good job. Trey?
Yeah.
You had to pick that one.
Well, right, because first off, he had a bunch of tasty cakes all over it.
He's a tasty cake guy.
But then it's all, like, it's me.
It's Avengerics Infinity Trey.
I love it.
You're Thanos. I'm Thanos.
Yeah. Yeah, you're Thanos.
A very high Thanos.
How long did it take you to decide to pick that, Trey?
Was it a snap decision?
Well, yeah.
I see what you did there.
That was a good one.
Ha ha ha ha. That was a good one.
Who wants a donut?
That guy didn't even want one.
They're powdered, so it'd be cool.
Don't drive home with any on your face.
I was at a comedy show, honey.
Oh, yeah?
Why is your face all powdered?
Lick it and find out.
No.
So, great job with that name tag.
Yeah, it's got black light on it, too.
Yeah, it's pretty slick. And you put my little rolling tray up there, too.
It's perfect.
Wow.
Because you like rolling trays and pot paraphernalia.
Yeah.
That's wonderful.
Cool. Thanks, man.
I appreciate that.
Michelle here to make it sound like a PTA meeting.
Jeez, we get it.
You're a mom.
It's just wonderful what these kids are doing.
Well, you know, both of these young boys
are staying at my house tonight, so...
Oh, that's true.
That is so true.
It is true.
Half of this panel is crashing in Michelle's house.
My guest bedroom.
With her child.
Which is on the same floor as her five-year-old child.
Can I point out, my five-year-old...
Well, she is six, sorry.
Oh, six, right.
But she is...
The coolest person in the world to her is Trey.
Go figure.
I keep asking her the question, hoping she changes her answer.
Nah, man, I got her.
I ain't going to steal her away from you or nothing.
I'll let her live with you and whatever, but...
I got her.
She definitely knows what weed smells like, that's for sure.
Yeah, no.
He left a vape pen on the couch in the family room.
I did, that's true.
That's my bad.
Yeah.
That was my bad.
It was a vape pen at least not a full on joint or something
there's like blueberry
edibles in the refrigerator
and it says do not eat on it
but she can read so she's like why can't I eat those
because you can't
those are going to end up in her little honey pot
yeah
there's going to be whole new PSAs for like
hey you want to go see my dad's
pen?
Alright, let's play some games.
We're going to start...
Sorry.
Oh, shit.
We're going to start with a little...
Did anybody have to get up early tomorrow?
Because we're going to go long.
But we're going to start with... We... Does anybody have to get up early tomorrow? Because we're going to go long. But we're going to start with...
We've got a special guest that I'm anxious to get out here
because he has to get up early tomorrow.
Casey Boy is here.
From Preston and Steve.
WMMR.
Rocks.
What's up, Dave?
Philadelphia.
Hey, buddy.
Oh, hi there.
Hey, bitches.
Hey, what?
Okay, you didn't need to do that.
I don't come on your show
and say, hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Because we don't have a crowd.
That's true, yeah.
Thank you for staying up. I know you've been waiting
back there. This thing's been dragging out forever.
I missed my son's last baseball game of the season
for this.
You can't say you missed it.
You made the plan.
Like you chose to not
go to your son's game. I'm either a terrible
father or a great friend.
Okay.
Be sure to tell, give
my regards to the kid
that you chose me.
I appreciate it.
And we do a game on the show
from time to time. Dale Cheeseman
did it one time in Houston
where I invite somebody to
come out on stage
and we're going to do lines
with Casey Boy!
So Casey's going to,
I'm going to hand him the microphone.
He's going to say some lines
from a motion picture.
I haven't told him any parameters
other than it has to be a movie.
So I don't know what he's going to come up with.
But the first one of you on stage, no audience guesses, please.
Because you probably, you know, you Preston and Steve heads out there
will probably be, you know, on his wavelength.
Know what he's doing.
But so just the people on stage get to guess.
Take it away, Casey.
All right, I'm just going to say the line.
I'm not going to act it out.
Good choice, good choice.
All right, here we go.
A pile of shit has a thousand eyes.
A pile of shit has a thousand eyes.
Oh, okay.
And then the next line is, but maybe only one but.
Next line.
Or another line.
Yeah, here we go.
It should have been you, Gordon. It should have been you, Gordon.
It should have been you, Gordon.
Gordon.
You pile of shit.
Weird science?
No.
No.
Wait, we don't have to buzz in with our names? No.
Wall Street.
No.
Ooh.
That's good, though.
Gordon. Gordon. Gordon. That's good, though. Gordon.
Gordon.
Gordon.
Do you have it yet?
Did you get it yet?
All right, here's the last one.
I think this is a gimme.
Oh, great.
Here comes a gimme.
Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood.
Oh, fuck you.
Okay.
Dinosaur.
Last one.
Yeah.
I thought...
That was the giveaway one?
That was the giveaway one!
Did you come up with the...
All right.
No, I didn't.
The writer of the movie
came up with these ones.
Jeez, morning radio guys.
All right, here we go. Last one. Last one.
Chopper Sick Balls.
Oh, damn it.
I know it. I know it.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I know it. I know it.
Wait.
No, it's not Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I know this one. Chopper Sick Balls.
It's also Chopper Sick Balls.
John Wick Chapter 3.
What he said was Chopper Sick'em Boy,
but what I heard was Chopper Sick Balls.
Oh, stand by me.
Yes!
Yeah, motherfucker!
Joe Mattarese with the right answer!
Oh, shit!
Yes.
Wow.
The Adderall just kicked in.
Takes about
30 minutes.
Casey, do you have anything to plug? Any parting words?
No. God, was I supposed to
think of something?
Tell people to listen to you on the radio.
There's a podcast version of the show.
Alright, this is what's going on.
Two Saturdays from now.
Whatever next Saturday is, not this Saturday, is our blood drive.
Last year, the President Steve, I believe,
her President Steve blood drive was 12 units away
from being the largest blood drive in the country.
Okay, so thank you.
So we've got this coming up, Father's Day weekend,
the Saturday of Father's Day.
If you go to PresidentSteve.com, you can get all the information,
sign up, we need your blood.
That's it. Yeah, give blood. Thank you, Casey
boy.
Alright,
that was fun. You did it, Joe.
Good job. Congratulations, Joe.
I didn't know it until Sick Balls,
but then I definitely knew it at that point.
The Gordo clicked something in me, but I couldn't get there.
Who played Gordon?
What?
Gordo was...
Was that the guy who died?
No, no, no.
It was Will Wheaton.
Will Wheaton was Gordo?
Was it?
Oh, no, no, no.
Was it?
It was River Phoenix.
River Phoenix.
Corey Feldman?
I'm going through all of them.
Jerry O'Connell?
He's going to go with all of them.
All of them were Gordon.
Let's just have him out here and he can do all the lines from the movie.
Tom Hanks.
Richard Dreyfuss.
The pie.
The pies.
That was going to be my clue.
They had a vomiting contest.
Oh, then, yeah.
Gordon was the younger Richard Dreyfuss, right?
Oh, yes. I think so yeah
alright no bonus points or anything for that Joe
just throwing stuff in
you just get to go first in this next game
that I call
whose tagline is it anyway?
I am going to say to you
and you alone Joe Joe Matariz,
the tagline for a motion picture,
you know, it's usually the line that's like on the poster
or in the trailers or wherever, commercials,
and you get one guess what movie it is.
If you can't give me the right answer,
we'll move to Michelle, then to Trey and then to
Dale. Everyone gets one chance
on each of these
titles.
Unless somebody gets it, then the other people do not
get a chance.
Never
thought about it that way before.
That was my whole strategy. Oh, this is the cheating chair.
I can cheat from here.
You kind of could, but...
Yeah, I'm not gonna.
You're gonna be cool.
She's cool about it.
Joe might.
Come on.
Because also, I write really small and sloppy.
Sometimes I don't even...
I can't read.
I can't read what the answer is in advance.
All right, here we go, Joe.
Oh, also, a theme will emerge over the course of this,
but of course in the first one,
you have no idea what the theme's going to be.
Oh.
That makes it easy.
Yeah.
But, you know, just open up your mind,
just take a stab at it.
A movie that sounds like it might have this tagline.
It's bad news for bad guys
again.
A lot of people in the audience have ideas.
Home Alone 2.
No! Full title.
Oh.
I don't know.
It's Lost in New York, but that's not the answer anyway.
Oh.
Michelle, what do you think it is?
Bad Boys 2.
Oh, great guess. No.
Trey?
Deadpool 2?
No.
What, really?
Mom?
I just wanted to do it Jeez
I think about 25% off there, Michelle
Yeah
Are you going to send them on their way in the morning with a good breakfast?
No
I'm the mom that sleeps in
Okay, perfect
Dale, you have one last shot at this
Green Hornet?
Oh.
I like how he went for it.
I liked how disgusted he was with his own answer.
Green Hornet?
No.
Well, is that right?
No, that's the tagline for Home Alone 3.
Oh, no!
Fuck!
I'm so proud of you.
We almost...
He was so worried back then.
That was the one my kids wanted to watch,
and we switched to the other guys.
Wow.
I would have fucking got it.
Was that Lost in Manhattan or something?
Yeah, where were they lost in that one?
Hey, Anne-Marie, can I get another Tito's and soda?
Are you going to tell us?
Thank you.
I would just like a bottled water if someone's coming up here already.
Okay.
Her name's Anne-Marie, Michelle.
Anne-Marie, please.
Here, you can have my water.
Anne-Marie, can I get a whiskey Coke?
Thank you.
Joe, do you need anything?
Would you like a drink?
I can't tell.
It's like, it's a weird
game show. It's like, you can't tell if it's
better. Sometimes you're the last to know.
You can't tell if it's, like, I already think I kind of
suck at it. No. So, I don't know if I
should. You're winning. Let's suck worse.
Yeah, you already won, like, the first one and a half things.
I'm winning, but let's be obvious.
It's obvious, you guys.
It's like I'm up here with the Sklars brothers times fucking 10.
The Sklars.
You guys are sleeping at each other's house tonight.
Easy.
Easy, Jersey.
I'm meeting everybody but Doug for the first time.
We got drinks.
Bullshit.
And you're like, you want to have a drink?
Maybe it's like that scene in Stripes
When they're like no you almost won
You want to sleep over you can sleep over
I will but that'll be good for if I ever get to do this podcast again
I gotta do well now
Well you're gonna go first again in this next round Joe
Alright Well, you're going to go first again in this next round, Joe. All right.
I'll take a Tito's.
With no soda.
Whoa!
I want Tito's on the rocks with lime.
With no soda, please.
He doesn't want your warm one off of your poster.
Okay, I'm fine.
I will have a drink.
I'll have a sapphire and tonic, please.
And a big girl glass.
Anne-Marie.
Anne-Marie.
She already knows that I'm cool, Trey.
I don't have to keep trying so hard.
Wow. Wow.
We're getting the lock changed on us, Dale.
I am 100% on her side.
Dale, you can come and stay at our house
whenever you want.
Yeah, Tenny's still mine.
Well, that sounds weird.
I love little kids.
I mean, I'd let you kiss her.
And there's no way to misinterpret that.
All right, you ready, Joe?
Here we go, Joe.
Joe.
Joe. Joe.
Joe, what movie has the tagline,
the greatest challenge?
Oh, Jesus.
Seems like way too big of a boast,
considering most movies, the protagonist has some sort of challenge.
Yeah.
But this is the greatest challenge.
The greatest challenge. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, mm-hmm.
You can just pass.
Philadelphia.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
And we're in Philly!
And it's an AIDS movie!
I guess AIDS is a challenge.
So I guess you're right.
It's a challenge.
It's a fucking tough challenge.
Yeah.
Unless... Unless, oh no. You're right. It's a challenge. It's a fucking tough challenge. Yeah. Unless Unless, oh no. You're
Magic Johnson. There you go. Then it's
fine.
Yeah, right? You were cringing for a second. It's a minimal challenge.
Okay.
Well, this isn't gonna...
Let's go to Michelle. Okay.
What do you think it is, Michelle? The greatest
challenge. Okay.
Free solo!
Oh, that is a great guess.
Excellent documentary.
Not right.
But no, not right.
Oh, I thought it was right.
Trey?
Rocky V.
Rocky V.
All right.
Dale?
That doesn't even make it
into the full title.
Not even close.
Wow.
The tagline for Rocky V was
my ring's outside.
Who didn't get chills?
His ring's outside.
Shit. Shit.
The greatest challenge.
What? The greatest challenge.
Uh-huh.
I was hoping the tagline was the same
as the title.
I guess
I'll go
with the challenger.
Oh, that's fun.
Challenger. Oh, that's fun.
The Challenger.
But the answer I was looking for was Rocky III.
No way!
How do you keep... Oh, my God.
It wasn't Eye of the Tiger?
How's that possible?
And was that for Apollo?
Was that for Clubber Lang?
Was that for Clubber?
It was Clubber Lang.
But was that Clubber Lang or Hulk Hogan?
Which fight?
Thunderlips.
Thunderlips or Clubber?
It was all a challenge.
Always go with three.
And then the tagline for Rocky IV is,
we take it back, the challenge got bigger.
Damn it.
Now he's got a greater challenge.
Okay, so we start with you again, Joe.
I really think you're getting the hang of this.
What movie has the tagline chaos corruption civil war he's he's back to
lay down the law so first of all whoever wrote that is, I hope they lost their job.
Chaos, corruption, civil war.
He's back to lay down the law.
Mr. Bean 2.
I love this game.
The full title is Mr. Bean Two Done That.
Bean Two Done That.
Michelle, what's your answer?
Can you just do it once more because I like to hear you say it?
Bean Two Done That?
Yeah, yeah, that one.
Do you got a guess?
No, can you just do the thing once more? Chaos.
Corruption.
Civil war.
He's back to lay down the law.
Okay.
Gangs of New York 2.
Not a thing.
Trey?
Not a thing.
Chaos, corruption, civil war.
Mm-hmm. I'm civil war Talk it through
Romancing the stone 2
That's called Jewel of the Nile
Dale
Doing so bad you forgot my name
Death Wish 3?
I was gonna say something.
So close.
Robocop 3.
Oh!
God damn it.
These must be movies from back when there was racism.
Let's not talk about those times
Alright Joe gets to go first again
What movie has the tagline
Evolve or die
Which is good advice
Planet of the Apes 2.
No?
I thought that was good.
Nothing?
It's okay, guys.
Evolution.
Michelle?
Fuck.
Avatar.
No.
Avatar.
Trey?
Species 3 Great cast
Dale
Tremors 3
It's Jurassic Park 3
Oh god damn it.
What is the theme?
You should be disappointed.
Oh, god, yeah, we're idiots.
Well, speak for that half
of the line. At least
some of us got half of it right.
The two dum-dums on the end.
Well now you guys are just
going to nail this next one because you all know what's up.
Joe, start us off.
I really don't know what's up.
Joe, what movie had the tagline
The Great Escape?
Oh Jesus.
And it's not
the movie called The Great
Escape.
Anything?
Oh, I mean the obvious.
There's like obvious, but that's
not funny.
They're just badly obvious. There's like obvious, but that's... Sure, yeah. They're not funny. Yeah.
Well, they're just badly obvious.
Just play to win.
Play to win.
You want to win.
You want to win.
Play to win.
Yeah.
You're playing for Lauren.
Well, can't we do it like it's Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
I can just talk it out.
I can just talk it out.
I know it's not Escape from Alcatraz.
It's not Shawshank Redemption.
You're just going to name every prison movie?
It's a fun thing about prison movies.
Generally, they don't get to a third part.
I think these guys are good at escaping, maybe.
What was that, Beds?
Maybe not this prison anymore.
That was the bad Stallone escape movie.
Shit.
It wasn't a third part.
I know.
So let's move on to Michelle.
I don't know.
I don't have a third.
Okay.
Three.
Yeah, I know.
Okay.
Trey. Hunger Games Catching Fire. Oh, that, and... Trey.
Hunger Games, Catching Fire.
Oh, that's fun.
Trey.
Thanks.
Or Mockingjay, whatever the third one is.
Three Fast, Three Furious.
Dale.
That was a good one.
Madagascar 3.
Oh, you don't know that whole title.
There's no way. Madagascar 3 Oh you don't know that whole title There's no way Madagascar 3
Was that one back to Africa or something like that
I'll go with that sure
But anyway that's not the answer
Can I put in mine now
Oh yeah Joe's gonna come in with a late answer
The Karate Kid one with the girl
The one with the girl.
The next Karate Kid. The one with Hillary Swank.
The one with Hillary Swank.
Love it.
No, that's not the answer.
No, it's Toy Story 3.
Move!
Fuck!
Yeah.
Okay, one more.
We got to go faster, though.
Okay.
I hate that there's no reason.
Joe, if you get this one, you're going to walk out of here with your head held high.
And the tagline is, get ready to hit the road.
Get ready to hit the road.
Get ready to hit the road.
All right, Michelle?
Dumb and dumber-est.
Oh, okay.
That was a guess.
Michelle?
and Dumberist.
Oh, okay.
That was a guess.
Michelle?
I am going to have to go with... I'm sorry, Doug.
It's all right.
Don't have a guess.
Okay.
Trey?
Something three.
That's it.
That's all I have.
Homeward bound three.
Homeward bound for home.
more bound for home?
Is that a fucking palindrome?
Is that where they race bicycles?
Another dog's purpose.
Oh, there you go.
Dale.
Driving Miss Daisy 3 off-road.
Off-road.
That's hilarious.
I didn't expect anyone to get this,
but I just thought it was fun.
That's the tagline for Toy Story 4.
You motherfucker.
Dirty pool, man. Dirty pool man
Dirty pool
But get ready to hit the road
That just sounds like the toys are about to be thrown out of the car window
Oh shit
To pavement and beyond
Alright let's find
Let's get serious
Those games were fun
But let's really you know Those games were fun, but let's really figure out
who the winner is tonight with a little Last Man Stanton.
With a lifeline?
Do we get a lifeline tonight?
Don't get ahead of me.
All right.
Got to explain it all for Joe, so don't get ahead of me. Alright. Gotta explain it all for
Joe, so
don't get him confused with that part.
So basically,
Joe, this is a game where
all five of us on stage,
I like to play along, are going to take turns
naming movies that an actor
or actress is in that's been suggested
by an audience member who I have not
previously discussed this with. They've been pre-selected I'll get the name and
then we take turns saying movies you can't think of one you're out but Lauren
in your case Joe is going to be your lifeline you can go to her once and each
of you can go to the person whose name tag you chose. Michelle can go to Zach, and Trey can go to Hell, and Dale...
See how they treat me, Philly.
Dale can go...
But, like, if I yell it out...
No, because I couldn't see the name on your name tag.
Anybody could answer it for me, right?
So if someone's smarter than Zach, just pretend you're him.
Oh, I guess someone could
whisper it into Zach's ear.
But don't. That's cheating. I don't want you to...
Don't do that. That's cheating. Don't cheat.
That makes it, yeah.
Why in show business would you cheat to help somebody else out?
That's true.
It's not done.
They're not in show business. Just us.
I know. Only one person got what I was saying.
And that's my biggest fan.
Anyway, so...
Uncomfortable. I like being the straight man. anyway so uncomfortable
I like being the straight man
but you can go to your lifeline once Joe
and if your lifeline doesn't give you
anything because sometimes the lifeline
craps out I'm going to give
you a bonus where you can
use your cell phone to call a
celebrity
a celebrity
we get to decide if it's a celebrity. A celebrity? Yeah.
We get to decide if it's a celebrity or not. That's hilarious.
And we're very harsh about these things.
So hope it doesn't come down to that.
What celebrity is waiting for that call?
Do you have Bob Saget's number?
He picks up.
I mean, he did when Greg Fitzsimmons called him.
We could probably get the guy who's in the movie
that we're going for.
That'd be fun.
How would you know who you're trying to find if you...
I went to community college.
Give me a couple of fucking...
Give me some slack here and I'm drinking.
And I took an Adderall. That'd be wild if the... I went to community college. Give me a couple of fucking, give me some slack here and I'm drinking.
And I took an Adderall.
That'd be wild if you picked up and put down that drink like three times without drinking it.
You want to smoke some weed with us real quick?
It's like I'm hearing a doctor in my head
every time I pick it up.
Don't drink with Adderall.
Where's that weed pen I left on the couch, Michelle?
Yeah.
Like, You know.
It's probably at Show and Tell right now.
Oh, please be at Show and Tell right now.
You'll get it back in a month.
You're punished.
A month is fair.
That's fair.
That's totally fair.
All right, so where is...
Jeff wrote
that. That's you, Jeff, right up front.
That's so crazy how that always happens.
You wrote
out and reached out to me on Twitter and said
you had a great suggestion for this
game. So what's it going to be,
dude?
James Earl
Jones.
Alright, well.
Not commercials, right?
When are they going to make
This is CNN the movie?
All right, that's really...
That's an interesting one, Jeff.
But, you know, I want everybody to have a chance.
And just look at Trey down there.
I'm trying to rack him up right now.
He's not too excited about that.
Who else has a name?
Raise your hand if you have a name.
Don't just yell it out.
Right over here, that hand that went up right there.
What's your name? My name's it out there's right over here that hand that went up right there what's your name Nicole wait until I what is she has a whole spiel what do you do for a living Nicole
graphic designer okay and why do you want it why go ahead and say what you're gonna say it's
national cheese day hashtag national cheese day so cheese Brie Brie Larson
Brie Larson.
That's cool.
Brie Larson.
She's like... The crowd says Gouda.
Wait, I know who that is, I think.
Yeah, she was in.
All right, so this is interesting.
We've got the films of James Earl Jones and Brie Larson.
So I still don't feel like we really... What does Brie Larson. So I still don't feel like we really...
What does Brie Larson look like?
We really have a...
She's blonde, usually.
She looks like you?
Mostly blonde.
No, you were raising your hand.
All right.
Oh, you were raising your hand?
Okay, she'd like to suggest another name.
Let's see what we get.
Morgan Freeman.
That's a great one.
What's your name?
Mickey.
All right. Thank you your name? Mickey.
All right.
Thank you, Mickey.
Mickey says Morgan Freeman.
Have you guys heard of him?
Yeah, man.
I'm familiar.
All right.
So, wow.
This is really a very special edition. It's all, you know, there's no white men in this one.
Hey.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, Bree is a woman.
We're doing the films of James Earl Jones,
Morgan Freeman, or Brie Larson.
Offhand, I don't think there's any that cross over.
But you never know if we think about it.
And Joe gets to start us off.
Then we'll go to Dale, Trey, me, and Michelle.
And as always, no audience guessing, please.
No, you want a movie from, tell me to say
all four. No, just pick one.
Oh, I get to just pick one? Yeah, it's elimination.
Pick one of those actors, and then a movie
that they were in.
Morgan Friedman. Still in this game.
Morgan Friedman.
Morgan Friedman.
What was Morgan Friedman in?
We're going Morgan Friedman.
Fried man.
You don't just get to pick one of them.
No, I'm changing it.
Okay, he's going to change it up.
James Earl Jones.
Okay, name a movie that he was in.
Field of Dreams.
Very good.
If you build it, they will come all over it.
You'll have to clean it up.
Go the distance. Dale. Go the distance. If you build it, they will come all over it and you'll have to clean it up.
Go the distance.
Dale.
Go the distance.
Go the distance.
The Sandlot.
Go the distance.
Go the distance, Luke.
Big hit. Big hint.
Trey?
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Yeah.
Very good.
I'm going to say,
I'm going to try to stay in the Brie Larson lane.
And I'm going to say,
Trainwreck.
Michelle?
I'm going to say,wreck. Michelle? I'm going to say Morgan Freeman, Lean on Me.
All right.
Yes.
Teachers, some teachers.
Back to you, Joe.
Lean on Me 2.
No, I'm just kidding.
No.
two. No, I'm just kidding.
I hope this is a horror movie and that was a creaky door.
Brie Larson? Uh-huh.
The only movie.
Wasn't she in...
Room? She was in that. Yes.
Room. Oh, that's a good one. It's the only movie I know She was in that one. She was in that, yes, Room. Oh, that's a good one.
It's the only movie I know she was in.
Yeah.
Dale?
Jimmy Jones, Star Wars, A New Hope.
Nice.
Let's just get it out of the way.
What chapter was that?
Four.
All right.
Trey?
I can't believe I'm... Okay.
Star Wars Chapter 5, The Empire Strikes Back.
That pained me to say it that way, you guys.
I just want you to know that.
The Empire Strikes Back.
Yeah, but they're not chapters.
They're episodes.
Episodes.
Oh.
Yeah.
Parabellum.
It's The Empire Strikes Back.
You know, like when you leave the house,
you don't say, you don't come home and go,
Mom, I had a terrible chapter today.
How do you know that?
You say, I had an episode.
Then she gives you your marijuana and you calm down am i the mom in that story um yeah give him some marijuana later and he'll be
you'll be able to sleep through the night um okay so it's back to me and I gotta stay on the Brie Larson
and I'm gonna say
Scott Pilgrim
versus the world.
Oh, I think
I know who she is now.
It's not gonna help me out at all, but I know who she
is. That's cool.
I'm
gonna go ahead and
go with
Morgan Freeman
Shawshank Redemption
we didn't say that yet
no one said that
I know I gotta get the gimme's
out of the way
it's like saving a wild card
you know you got
what do you got Joe
what was that shitty movie with Morgan Freeman
where he played God?
Was it just called God?
Keep describing it so I can remember the title.
God.
He's played the God and the President many times, so...
I remember a shitty movie
where he played God.
The Electric Company,
the movie.
You know what? Your lifeline could probably
help you out.
Give me the four actors again.
First of all, there's three of them.
Three.
This is great.
Brie Larson, Morgan Freeman, and James Earl Jones.
James Earl Jones.
And your lifeline is standing by.
Bell Atlantic.
Can totally help you.
Well, no one said
Star Wars, just the first one. I'll go with that.
I don't need a lifeline.
Well, someone did say that one, actually.
The fourth one.
The sixth one's up for grabs.
Oh, do you not have enough out of the 800 possible movies we could name?
No!
I don't want to turn the crowd, but I played sports growing up,
so I don't know any of the Star Wars movies.
Ah!
That was like six people at home laughed. I played sports growing up, so I don't know any of the Star Wars movies. Oh, my God.
Like six people at home laughed.
14 million were like, fuck this fucking asshole.
Six people at home turned off the podcast and walked out of their own home. I don't like Star Wars movies.
Hey, I'm sure New Jersey loves you.
Yeah.
I've never seen someone get mad because you shit on Star Wars.
That shows your masculinity.
Trey.
Trey.
Huh?
That could have been very violent.
All right, Joe.
So what's happening?
Are you going to go to your lifeline?
You can do it, Joe.
Yeah, I'll go to the lifeline.
Lauren.
Lauren, what do you got for him?
Captain Marvel.
What?
What actor was in it?
Oh, Captain Marvel, yes.
Oh, Brie Larson?
That's Brie Larson, Captain Marvel, yeah.
All right, good job.
Yeah, good job.
Yeah.
Joe's still in it.
The God movie was Bruce Almighty.
That's it.
I just called it piece of shit.
Trey, Star Wars Episode VI, Return of the Jedi.
He just looked at me like he wins something.
All you get for that is not getting laid.
All right.
He got crazy laid.
No girls ever going, holy shit, yell out more Star Wars titles.
I'm wet.
You'd be surprised, dude.
You'd be surprised.
You'd be surprised.
You don't even need condoms if you know all the movies.
It's condoms you don't need?
That's what those girls are.
As a lone lady.
Don't smear the green paint.
I do have to say,
and Trey knows this,
I love Star Wars.
And she is a kid.
And that has nothing to do with it.
But you don't get turned on by
guys knowing Star Wars trivia.
I don't get turned on by lots of things that you guys do.
Yeah, no, you're right, Joe.
It's the sports that they're really dying to hear about.
Oh, yeah.
Oh!
Yeah, they're not married to models.
More New Jersey references, please.
A lot of professional athletes are struggling in the vagina category.
Oh, the ones that play are going to do all right.
Not the ones that sit around and talk about it.
I'll wait till it dies down.
Don't limit yourself, man.
Don't limit yourself. I just think
if we put in the vagina to test,
I win.
Hey, man. You know what?
I had extra patches on my leather jacket, too.
I'm not going for jokes. I'm going for
me against Star Wars guy.
You know what? Who fucked more pussy?
Let's go factual.
You know what really
gets the ladies worked up, Joe?
I'm married.
I don't give a shit.
I can cock-block myself all night.
I go home and I, you know.
People who have the right answer and they're ready to say it.
That's fine.
That's a turn on.
That guy that just won all those Jeopardys, he's going to get laid.
Oh, yeah.
Looks like a cool guy for not
beating Ken Jennings, you know?
Like, yeah, it's a win-win. Evan
Almighty. There you go.
I'm gonna go, we're counting
voice, I'm guessing, because we're doing
Star Wars, so voice, Lion King.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, now Joe's out.
Okay, now Joe's out.
That's fucking hilarious.
She's like,
everybody's really kind on this show.
When you go out, it'll be good.
You ginned him up a little bit, Joe. I did, I did.
You gotta admit.
I did.
But it's kind of fun, you know?
No, we're not whispering.
It's a podcast.
Okay.
I'm talking into the mic.
I'm talking into the mic. Everyone talking into the mic everyone heard everybody can hear our sides okay
go for it buddy all right lauren i'm gonna go to you again even though i'm not allowed
yeah you can only go to your lifeline once you're out i know dale avengers in game
Yeah, you can only go to your lifeline once.
You're out.
I know.
Deal.
Avengers Endgame.
Mm-hmm.
Nice.
Trey?
Fuck me, man.
No, Eric, I'm going to go to you first.
Let's go to Eric.
Conan the Barbarian.
Yeah. Conan the Barbarian.
That was my pocket one, but thanks, Eric.
No, that was cool.
Oh, I just thought of another movie where he, Eric. No, that was cool.
Oh, I just thought of another movie where he plays God.
March of the Penguins.
Yes!
Good one.
Okay, now, this could be... I hope this is right,
because I really want to save my Zach attack.
And I'm going to go for...
I'm pretty sure that James Earl Jones,
Coming to America.
Yes!
Yes!
Ooh!
I have a visual of it.
Okay.
Go for it.
Oh, it's to me.
Yeah, Dale, sorry.
Sorry.
Wanted.
That gets you laid.
Yeah.
Oh, this is going to be...
I mean, Trey.
I mean, I've been laid for every movie I've ever seen.
That's...
No, this is...
I think I'm going to get this wrong.
Trey.
Man.
Star Wars Episode 3
Revenge of the Sith.
Okay.
I have problems with the prequels
on the names.
How many years
did you play right field?
Huh? Eight?
I'm gonna keep dropping them in.
I told you, man. I had little extra patches on my letter jacket, too,
but I could also nerd out when I needed to.
You know, I could do it both.
Come on.
Motherfucker.
Yeah, maybe you got the New Jersey particular.
PA is down with the multifaceted love.
Field hockey doesn't count.
You played right field?
That's where they put the least athletic player.
Yeah, they don't hit anything.
That's why I said that.
You go.
And then back up catcher?
I've watched a lot of baseball movies.
You got cheese man.
That's why I said him.
The Lego movie.
Okay.
You know what?
You're going to Zach?
I'm going to go Zach Attack.
I don't want to miss out on my Zach.
Zach!
21 Jump Street.
21 Jump Street.
Brie Larson.
That's correct.
Thanks, Zach.
Oh, I forgot about her.
All right.
Dale?
That's not going to help.
Lucky number 11. Yes. Oh, I forgot about her. All right. Dale. That's not going to help. Lucky number seven.
Yes.
Oh.
All right.
Trey?
How about just seven?
Fuck.
That was the one.
I had it in my pocket.
I had it in my pocket.
He fucking took the L out.
He took the lion king.
Oh, you guys. Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake Oh, Philly, I love you so much, Philly.
You have no idea.
For real.
How could you get laid when you're just watching movies?
Did you hear all that?
They love me, dude.
That's because they know you're not the right.
I'm going to bang every single one yous tonight In the alley after the show
Not yet, not yet
Whether you buy a rolling tray or not
I'm gonna bang the shit out of ya
Hey Joe
Do you know what they call
Trey's lovemaking technique?
What's it called?
Deep impact
Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug.
You guys chant more than they did in The Accused.
The musical.
That's a retweet.
That's going viral.
Have you heard of Netflix and chill? It's where our two worlds meet. That's a retweet. That's going viral.
Have you heard of Netflix and chill?
It's where our two worlds meet.
Movies and sex can be friends.
For just $12 a month. Dale, Dale, Dale.
Whose turn are we on?
Michelle, are you out?
What? No. You've been gone, right?
I just said deep impact.
Oh, that was part of the joke. Got it.
Okay.
Okay, now, you guys, I just said deep impact. Oh, that was part of the joke. Got it. Okay. Okay.
Now, you guys, I don't want, I'm going to say one sentence before I get this wrong.
I know he was the president in one of these sci-fi movies.
I know.
You mean like deep impact?
Fuck, it was that one.
Wasn't he the president?
Wasn't he?
God damn it.
Yeah, it's a tough one.
Okay, we're going to go back to
J.E.J.
Judge.
God damn it.
You were a great player
tonight. Thank you. I did good tonight, didn't I?
Yeah, you did very good. Okay, good night, everybody.
Sorry, Zach.
You don't have to leave or anything.
No, I'm not going to. I. I gotta see if a fight breaks out.
You gotta watch Trey lose, Dale.
Yeah.
Olympus has fallen.
I'm trying to run through
his presidential career.
He's good.
Did somebody
already say Driving Miss Daisy?
Mm-hmm.
No.
No.
Nobody said it.
No.
Oh, yeah.
Doug, you sneaky bastard.
Driving Miss Daisy.
All right.
Yay.
You're still in it.
Fuck.
For Morgan Freeman, I got Bonfire of the Vanities.
That's a good one.
Yeah, he's a bald judge at the end of that one.
A Long Came a Spider.
Dale says A Long Came a Spider.
Nice.
Alex Cross movie.
Yeah.
This is where Trey loses.
This is where Trey loses.
The Bone Collector. What? This is where Trey loses. This is where Trey loses. The bone collector.
What?
Oh!
Trey! Trey! Trey!
Trey! Trey! Trey!
Trey! Trey! Trey!
I'm proud of everybody.
So who set up this really
unfair game?
Alright, I have
to pull out
one that said Joe's gonna be a little sad
because this movie is about baseball.
And he
didn't think of it.
Oh no. Yeah, and it's called
Bingo Long
and the Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings.
What?
Okay, I need somebody to check that.
It's true.
I love movies.
You do?
I love movies.
He does.
I mean, I couldn't just make that up.
Why would Jeff have backed me up with the single clapping like that?
Yeah.
And Jeff looks, yeah, movie nerd enough that he probably knows that.
Yes.
Dale?
Was Brie Larson in that?
She was but a glint in nobody's eye at that point.
I'm assuming.
She wasn't happening yet.
Yeah.
Richard Pryor was in it.
Yeah.
What's that Kiss the Girls?
I couldn't think of the other Alex Cross movie he was in.
Here we go.
Trey, this is it.
This is where it happens.
This is where it all comes apart for Trey.
This is where it happens.
Tenny really believes in you.
Oh, thanks.
No presh, dude.
No presh.
Can I phone a non-famous friend?
Oh, I forgot about your phone a famous friend.
No, your lifeline has to fail you.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, your lifeline was good.
Well, I mean, he kind of did.
He took my pocket one.
That don't count, though.
Yeah, well, that's...
Okay, so it's Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones.
Or Brie Larson.
Yeah, jeez.
Kidding me.
Trey, you did great Thanks
Yeah let's hear it for Trey
Good job Trey
Thanks Philly
Now it's D&D
For my next Morgan Freeman
I'm gonna say
Street Smart
Oh he had some good pocket ones
The Dark Knight.
Oh!
Oh!
Dale, Dale, Dale,
Dale. Oh my god.
Don't you dare.
Batman Begins, motherfucker!
He's not in the first one. He's not?
I think he is.
It's not my answer. I can't lose for saying that.
I like it.
What is your answer?
Yeah, he's in all three of them.
If you say so.
Yeah.
Rule master.
Scrabble rules.
That's not a word.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay, let me just...
Let me pull one more out.
I'm just going to whip one out.
Come on. out just gonna whip one out come on oh shit
mob justice go
Las Vegas have as a good one don. Don't say any more, though.
Okay, I'm going to go with... I'm going to say...
Her directorial debut.
Unicorn Store.
Wow.
Invictus.
God!
Dale, you were lying!
What?
This is exciting.
I'm not going to come up with another one.
This is a sport, Joe, right here.
Tet-a-tet. Tets on tets.
It's happening, yeah.
I wasn't saying movie trivia doesn't get women horny.
I was saying knowing Star Wars movies doesn't get women horny.
Can I just tell you, using the word horny doesn't get women horny.
I was shitting on the Star Wars movies.
No!
Yes, I was.
Walk it back.
I didn't say not knowing movie trivia. I don't like Star Wars. Barking up the wrong Star Wars movie. No! Yes, I was. Walk it back. I didn't say not knowing movie trivia.
I don't like Star Wars.
Barking up the wrong Star Wars.
Well, you guys are just giving me time to think over here.
I know, right?
And that's not fair.
And also, I don't think I'm going to come up with another one right away.
Let's hear it for Dale Cheeseman, everybody.
Dale!
Wow.
Thank you.
I guess that makes me the new Lion King.
Does that count?
Yeah.
Lift him up, Trey.
Lift him up.
All right.
I'm a baby.
I did not enjoy that.
That was funny.
That was not on my bucket list.
I have so many more.
Wow.
Dude, he's showing off.
What else you got?
Oh, that was it.
What's home?
Oh, shit.
What's that one where all the old actors get paid money to be in a movie together?
Las Vegas.
Oh, we already said that one.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
What?
Red 2.
Yeah, there's so many.
There's so many,'s so many you guys
Was James Earl Jones part of Homeward Bound?
No
Trey
What have you got to plug?
You really did a great job
So you're the only one tonight who gets to do plugs
Right on
Thank you
We're running out of time for everybody else's plugs
My new album
Live at Creep Records,
which was recorded here in Philadelphia,
is out now, man.
Get it wherever you get stuff.
Yeah.
And I've got those rolling trays.
Oh, and then me and Doug,
for any Fort Worth people listening,
because I know I've got friends down there,
don't play,
me and Doug are doing Father's Day in fort worth at the hyena yeah
i don't think that was a good idea to go there on father's day but we'll see how it goes this
will be our second father's day together in a row where were we last year we were in kansas city
member and i came in to breakfast and it was you and tate and you guys were like where were you and
i was like talking to my dad and then realized
who I was talking to.
And then it got sad
at the table.
Why would you get sad
before everybody else's plugs?
Raise your hand
if your dad died.
That's a great question.
Okay.
All right.
So that is your plugs?
Yeah,
and then my monthly show in New York
Alright
Yeah, my stuff
D.L. Cheeseman, our winner today
Is
Where is the person you were playing for?
Back there, way in the back
Yeah, you want to come get all your stuff?
Oh shit
Are you excited about the serial dispenser?
Could you bring somebody with you to help carry all
this? Yeah, totally.
Yeah, it might take a couple of people.
I mean, I didn't think it would be funny to see
someone have to walk around with a cereal
dispenser. I have to admit, that
was part of it. You have to film
your whole ride home. Yeah.
Oh, wait, let's put... Sorry, I don't want to...
Alright, here we go. Let's put the lid back on.
Hey, Joe, can you do that? Can you put...
It's a snap-on lid.
You can hold it.
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
Okay, I just want to fix it for you, buddy.
Oh, nice.
Oh, shit.
Oh, brother.
Yeah.
Mint condition, mint.
This is how all Craigslist deals go down.
There you go.
He knows our fresh powder donut.
So, you got it. There you go, buddy. One fresh powder doughnuts. So you got it.
There you go, buddy.
One bag.
Posters and stuff.
We'll sign that for you.
Paper bag, empty.
Here's your hat.
Oh, is it just the hat?
Doug's butt is on my leg.
Okay, here we go.
We did it.
We did it.
That was Nose Like Pod.
Congratulations, man.
Did he get my eight CDs?
Two-year plugs, Dale.
Check out my podcast,
Dale Loves Movies More.
You're so cute.
You guys are so cute together.
I just...
I do...
Are you guys secret father and son?
You're just not telling me.
I do segments from New York
on a Texas-based podcast
called The Whiskey Brothers.
Check them out.
I'm in a writing group called Boy Harem.
We're doing sketch shows coming out.
It's like a harem, but boys.
And then...
Finally.
Yeah, finally. We need some
more all-men reboots.
So that'll be pretty cool.
And follow me on Twitter and Instagram and have
sex with me after movies.
And follow me on Twitter and Instagram and have sex with me after movies.
Thanks, Dale.
Joe Mattarese, promote yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody's going to go...
They're going to be downloading my shit
before they even leave here.
This crowd loves me.
Bane, Bane, Bane, Bane, Bane. Me doing this podcast was like one of those Folgers commercials where they're like we've replaced there you know what I mean this phone yeah no you
are old that's cool I'm old I don't even mean the age I'd compare it more to like
You should just put the shovel down
And stop digging this hole
No but it's
I don't know
I just thought it was
Doug goes listen to a few podcasts
So I listen to ones
That just had regular people on it
And then you just
You put me on the ones
With the fucking
Home run hitters
Of all time movies.
Ah, that's a compliment.
I like it.
Fucking Martin Scorsese up here against me.
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
Fucking Robert.
Yeah, you clearly haven't listened to our episodes.
This is the best I've ever done, Joe.
No, you guys know a fucking unbelievable amount about movies.
I listen to ones with like Mark Maron and Brody Stevens.
Dude, you did great.
It was fun. It was fun. You did great.
I'm competitive. I got smoked.
You did. You did. You won the
first game. It was fun, though.
I enjoyed myself. You were close. And I want to let
the people know I wasn't even mad at this guy
because sometimes my anger gets confused.
As a Philly, you don't have to explain that shit here.
They get it.
That's what I was going to say.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
It was like, yeah.
He's mad at this guy.
Keep it going for that guy.
Michelle?
Here we go.
I wanted to bring the Philly.
Are you OK?
That was your plug?
That's my plug.
Don't fucking mist mistake my anger.
I have a podcast
called The Life of Joe
that's available
on joematterice.com.
It's a video
and an audio podcast
and I don't talk
about movies.
But do you talk
about Star Wars?
Just Star Wars.
It's an all
Star Wars podcast.
That would be amazing
if you did that.
This week we're talking up some four.
Fuck that shit.
All right.
See y'all next week.
Follow me on Twitter.
Michelle Balloon.
You can find me on Twitter and Instagram
at Balloon and then also I am
starting a new podcast.
Oh!
Shit mic's back.
I got it. I got it. I got it.
I don't know if you guys watch Baskets, but one of my
very best friends, Trey, knows her.
I started doing stand-up with her. Martha Kelly
and I are starting a podcast.
It's going to be called Disagree to Agree and it should
be out if we get our shit together.
End of June. Disagree to
Agree with Michelle and Martha. My name's first.
I love it. Alphabetical.
Yeah.
I'm guessing Martha didn't put up much
of a fight on the name thing.
What?
I just ignore him mostly.
And then there was a part for questions.
Oh, and the genuine laugh and everything.
Yeah, I know.
That was great.
Oh.
Sorry.
I am so stealing your kid.
Sorry.
Oh, that's happening.
Doug Loves Movies is back at the Gramercy Theater
in New York City on Monday, June 24th.
One more time for all of my guests.
Trey Gallion.
By his trays out in the lobby.
Dale Cheeseman.
Joe Matariz.
No, I'll take it.
And Michelle Balloon.
Thanks, guys. Thanks, Billy.
As always,
and thank you to Helium.
Thank you to all you guys
for coming out.
And I'll see you in the lobby.
And as always,
positive energy!
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See you later!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!