Doug Loves Movies - Vanessa Gonzalez, Doug Mellard and Josh Wolf guest
Episode Date: April 10, 2020Doug welcomes Vanessa Gonzalez, Doug Mellard and Josh Wolf to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to&nb...sp;stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies.
Coming to you from a whole new world, where me and my guests will be phoning this in
from home it's thursday april 4th 2020 and we don't need no stinking name tags and i've got
no doug plugs except to say that i'll start doing shows again when it's safe as will my guests i
assume so let's meet them we've got josh wolf
doug mellard and vanessa gonzalez
hello we all just woke up
hey you're in the even later time zone than us vanessa you're in the uh central time zone yes i'm central timing yeah so it's like
four o'clock where you are you're not and you're just getting up yep so you're doing this you're
doing this pandemic right if you're sleeping all day that's that's the smart play i think
sleep all night end all day but let's uh let's meet my guests individually alphabetically
starting with that was uh vanessa gonzalez hi vanessa hi am i first alphabetically
my birthday's tomorrow is the name of your record that's on a special thing records.
Yes.
Go look it up.
Buy my album.
It's fun.
I also got fun little pins.
How do people get their fun little pins?
I have a link on my Instagram bio at Vanessa Marie.
Okay.
B-U-H Nessa. B-U-H Nessa Marie. Okay. B-U-H Nessa.
B-U-H Nessa Marie.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah.
Good luck.
Doug Mellard is also here.
Hello, Doug.
Hey, dude.
What's up, man?
Just, you know, woke up a couple hours ago.
I'm more of a go-getter these days.
Woke up at like noon and started drinking.
So, you know.
Well, Doug, is it true?
I've heard some rumors that not unlike toilet paper,
that your comedy CD, Farts Safari Safari 2 is also hard to find.
Well, it's hot.
Everybody wants it.
But you can find Farts Safari 2, Fart Harder, wherever you can find albums, iTunes, Amazon, whatever.
And Farts Safari 3, Fart Hard with a Vengeance, it's close. We're
almost there. It's almost going to be out. So I'll have a date soon. Can't wait to share.
Okay. I like your commitment to the ongoing Fart Safaris.
Yeah, it's either the best or worst thing I've ever done. I haven't figured it out yet.
Okay. Well, have a, have a drink.
Try not to hurt your, uh, your nasty cavity.
Yeah. That's brutal. Yeah. Um, I hope, hopefully,
hopefully you can get that looked at soon. Yeah.
Yeah. By some back alley dentist that can socially distance and look at it.
Hey, you know, get your girlfriend pregnant and get a two-four alley situation going.
Oh, man.
They're going to have to start making just really long dentist tools.
Equipment, yeah.
All right, here comes the drill.
I think I've got control of it from this distance.
Oh, my God.
Long distance dentistry.
Distance dentistry.
And also joining us, last but not least,'s josh wolf comma hungry like the yeah
how are you um you know
yeah you know i feel like i've answered that question about a million how you hanging in there how's it going you know
I um I really feel like if this is the worst thing that ever happens to me in my life I've
had a pretty good life so I just I know it's inconvenient and we're losing money but but like
I can just stay inside and get high all day and watch movies like the worst time in my life yeah but it's like
but to me it's similar to it's just the same feeling i have when uh when my flight's delayed
it's like you don't know how long it's delayed for so you can't really settle it and just enjoy
that you have this time and that's sort of how i feel about this is it's like as much as i
like watching movies and stuff it's still the back of my mind is yeah but when's this fucking thing
gonna end and who's who's dead now you know like who else is dying well like it's the news just
keeps coming at this point no for sure the dying part of it is not as fun but the movies and weed and i and i've been going so hard on the road for the last
four years or so man the first two weeks i was like yeah it was i was like this is actually this
is but you know then after two weeks here's the deal no matter who you're living with okay you
can everybody's taking a week vacation together when it's just you and
the other person and maybe even two weeks that's a long vacation just you and one other person
but have you ever taken a vacation with just you and one other person for more than two weeks
after that period you're like man yeah alright well that's a
great story for everyone out there
by themselves Josh
cut to next week
and Josh's house is like that
movie The Breakup with Vince Vaughn and
Jennifer Aniston with the line down the middle.
The One with the Roses?
Oh, yeah.
Are we losing somebody?
No.
Okay, good.
Present.
Present.
I didn't get a present out of you, Vanessa.
Present.
I didn't get a present out of you, Vanessa.
Present.
I bet you that's the same enthusiasm you always gave in class when you were in school.
Yeah, I would just go, what?
Did you ever get big laughs at the expense of your teachers, Vanessa? Yeah, I don't know if they were big laughs at the expense of your teachers, Vanessa?
Yeah, I don't know if they were big laughs, but my best friend Nikki would laugh really hard.
No one else, though.
Okay, yeah, now I'm getting more, I'm picturing more what it was like for you, your best friend got you but that was about it that's about it
um all right so this is the part of the show already where i say let the games begin
we're gonna play some games and it's just for your personal satisfaction. You're not playing on behalf of anyone.
You're not, you know, there's no actual prizes involved for anybody.
The prize is just, you know, everybody gets a participation trophy,
but the winner does get bragging rights,
which I am told builds your immunity in this current climate that you feel good about
yourself, that that's going to help you to get through.
I need this.
The prize is the journey.
The first game we're going to play is called how long is it?
And I will name a thing,
and then the three of you each get to have one guess at how long it is.
And the closest to the actual number without going over,
Price is Right style, is the winner.
Is this going to be a joke about that meme guy, Wood?
What?
The dude with his dick out
and all the memes right now?
That's a thing right now?
What? Never mind.
I didn't know
either.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah, come on, man.
Doug, you're drunk.
I'm going to drink more.
Sounds, Doug, like you
are, yeah, like you have
really good vodka over there.
The meme everybody's sharing.
You know, the gentleman with his
weenus out.
Weenus? know, the gentleman with his weenus out. Listen,
no guy with a penis
big wants his penis to be called a weenus.
Very true.
That deserves a little more respect.
Hog.
So yeah, I don't know what the hell you're talking
about, Doug.
Sorry. Sorry.
Continue.
My bad.
I know it's whatever it is.
It's fun, but I don't understand it.
A couple pictures.
You'll know by the end of this show.
Here's the how long is it.
We're going to go in this order.
Vanessa's going to bid first, and then Doug, uh, how long is it? We're going to go in this order. Vanessa is going to bid first and then Doug and then Josh.
And, uh, you know, if you, uh, don't like it,
complain to the person who gave you your last name,
cause we're just going alphabetical.
But you know, like on price is right.
They don't get to pick which order they get to bid in.
It just comes down to the luck of the draw.
Vanessa.
Yes.
How long is the total running time of Tom Hanks' Robert Langdon movies?
One dollar.
fees one dollar okay so you say you want to do you want to start the bidding at one minute
i feel oh i guess that would play it safe huh um but you really the first bidder can't really play
it safe that way because then the next guy could just say two minutes.
That's true.
Okay, I'll make a real guess.
I'm going to say 2.10.
Two hours and ten minutes.
Yes.
Is the combined running time of all the movies in which Tom Hanks has played Robert Langdon.
I don't even, how many movies is that i don't even know who robert langdon
exactly i'm like what movies are these okay i'll tell you i'll just tell you because since two of
you don't know and doug is too drunk to even okay yeah tell me how many movies tell you
that it's uh he made first year was The Da Vinci
Code. Okay.
Then he made Angels and Demons.
Okay. And then there's a third
one called Inferno.
Okay.
I'm going to... Ballpark it
three movies. How long do you think that
would be? I'm going to go with 10
hours.
Okay.
10 hours. I. And that says 10 hours.
I might beat her.
I might do better than her on this game.
I can't believe it.
I've never won this.
Doug, what do you think?
Wait, so three total?
Huh?
Three total movies?
Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
three total movies yeah
I'll go
nine hours
seven minutes
that's too long
wait wait can I take that back
okay
I'll go three movies
you got math over there you got a pencil out
no in my head my drunken head i'll do
seven hours four minutes okay you can't have a pencil he said seven hours four minutes
yeah i say one minute oh you are doing the one minute you goddamn son of a bitch. Damn it.
Yeah, I'm playing.
If I was going to make a real guess, I would say one minute.
That's your fun guess and your real guess.
Okay, well, it's, you know, it is, like I said, it's you know it is like i said it's three uh three movies the first one was a whopping
two hours and 29 minutes and then the second one they were like you know what people didn't like
about that movie 11 minutes so they cut it back to 218 and then the third movie they were like hey
i bet you we could shave this one down
by another, like, 17 minutes.
So the third one was two hours and one minute
for a grand total of six hours and 48 minutes.
Fuck!
Which makes Josh...
Wait, Doug, did you just realize you lost
or did you pour vodka on your tooth again?
A little of both.
That means Josh won that game.
Congratulations, Josh.
Thank you very much.
Hey, I think this might be maybe the first or second time I've ever won a game,
so I'm pretty excited.
Yeah, you did great.
The way you figured out that three movies would probably be about less than
seven hours was good work.
Just a quick reminder that Jeff Tate and I are playing the IMDb game every day on Periscope at 2 o'clock Eastern, 11 a.m. Pacific time.
Hey, I have an announcement too, Doug.
Hey, everybody, Periscope is still working.
Okay.
I had no idea that it was still,
I had no idea people were still Periscoping.
There you go.
I had no idea that I'm supposed to let my other guests make announcements.
Do you have any announcements to make, Vanessa?
I have an announcement.
I'm trying to spell Periscope in my head right now, and I can't.
Doug, what's your announcement?
I am drunk and my fucking tooth hurts.
Please send help.
You got to start by saying announcement or I have an announcement and then
follow that with your announcement.
Oh, I have an announcement.
I am now even more drunk than two seconds ago and my tooth hurts even more.
Oh, so the getting more drunk isn't helping the tooth.
Oh no, I think it's actually uh it's just i
keep hitting it i gotta drink a certain way this is not gonna go well i don't know if you know this
you're not supposed to deep throat your cup
into your mouth i don't know i suggest
could i suggest a tool from the past called a straw
I think you should keep this game
I have an announcement in the
Doug Loves Movies rotation
everybody make an announcement
and then I will announce
my favorite announcement.
Yeah.
And I'm still – I'm giving Josh the win on that one as well.
Ew.
Because he started it.
So, Josh, you get to go first, and then you'll be followed by Doug,
and then Vanessa in a game.
The listeners are going to
love bringing this game back.
The players are not going to like it as
much. It's called
Build a Title.
I'm going to give you
a starter title
and then you guys have to
take turns adding another
movie title that
fits in. We can drop the a's if we want
but otherwise it has to fit in perfectly with the previous title and we'll create a really long title
and see you know who can last the longest so can you give me an example because i have no idea what
you're talking about yeah you know it's like the game we also play called Purple Rain Man,
where it's like Purple Rain plus Rain Man
is Purple Rain Man.
So if on this one,
I would just take the last word of whatever title you're...
Yeah.
Any title.
Yeah, or you can back into it
and have it be the first word is the last word
of another movie title.
It's the start. At the start, it's very easy.
You should be able to think of one for either side.
So let's get it going with a movie called The Day After Tomorrow.
So, you know, it's fitting for today
because we're all looking forward to it lasting at least that long.
Right. And so
for me now, I need
I'm just making sure I know what I'm doing.
I need to come up with a movie
that
starts with tomorrow.
Yeah. Or ends in the word day.
Oh, okay.
So I would say training
day. Yeah.
You nailed it. Thank you for being here.
So now we have the title is training day after tomorrow.
So now if you can do it, you don't, it's not a memorization game,
but if you can say the whole title with your addition added to it,
that would be great.
So, Doug, what do you add to Training Day After Tomorrow?
Training Day After Tomorrow Never Dies?
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah, good luck to anyone coming over to the movie that begins with the word dies.
Ooh.
Yeah, we might have a stopper on our hand already.
But, Vanessa, can you think of a movie that ends with the word training or just train?
Oh, it could also be train.
Mm-hmm.
No.
No.
It could be Trey if you knew a movie that ends in Trey.
Let's see. let's see let's see
Chaining Day After Tomorrow
Never Dies
Dies is just a tough one
because it's not really a word that would start
another title
I'm cutthroat I don't fuck around
yeah that's why you picked them because you're cutthroat
um i want to say there's got to be like a a fucking
like a dumb movie the rock was in called potty training or something.
You know what I mean?
I mean,
from your mouth to movie executives ears.
What a great idea.
I'm stumped.
Okay.
That's all right. You're going to stick around for our final game.
But in the meantime,
we're back to Josh.
Okay. So it has, you're back to Josh. Okay.
You got something that ends with train?
Okay.
Huh.
Wait, was there a movie?
Okay.
This is a guess.
But I think there was a movie called train just called trade
the movie based on the band
training day
never dies
you can't you've done you've done this is called build a title not just leave a title how it
is it does it begins and ends with train does it can i do that no okay you go you really i can't
think of any movies where the last word of the title is train? How about...
Oh, wait.
Oh, wait.
Was there a movie...
Okay.
Okay.
Was there a movie...
Was it called Strangers?
No.
It was. It was.
It was a Hitchcock movie.
Strangers?
Strangers?
It's like,
you beat a strangers in a train
or strangers on a train?
It's strangers on a train.
Strangers on a train.
So now we have strangers on a training. Strangers on a train. Ah. So now we have Strangers on a Training Day After Tomorrow Never Dies.
Doug, do you have a movie title that ends in strange or strangers?
Doctor Strange.
Okay.
That works, right?
Back to you, Josh.
We need something that ends in doctor.
Blank doctor.
Blank doctor.
I know a couple of porn.
What is that?
I know a couple of porns that...
I can see the movie about a head doctor,
but I don't know if that fits in this
exact...
No, a doctor?
Like doctor.
No, I got nothing.
I can't think of one either, actually.
There's a porn of a doctor that consults head injuries?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, all the great doctor titles.
Doctors comes first, and then it's, you know, like Doolittle or Detroit.
Hollywood.
Doc Hollywood.
Ooh.
All right, well, Dr. Stranger's on a training day after tomorrow never dies.
It's still quite a lot for one marquee,
but that means that Josh is going to go first in our final game.
But before we do that,
let's take a break for a brief series of informative advertisements.
We'll be right back.
We're back.
That was, those commercials were great.
I'm glad everybody listened to all those commercials.
To determine a winner today, and in case you're just joining us,
which is a funny thing to say,
because I don't think people would start listening this deep into it.
I mean, maybe, maybe somebody fast forward.
I think it will all just fast forward to when the games start.
Now they're all confused, but if you're just joining us,
we're here with Josh Wolfe, Vanessa Gonzalez,
and Doug Drunken Tooth Millard, who has a serious tooth issue.
When are you going to get to go to a dentist?
When we get a vaccine.
Really? I mean, I don't know dentist? When we get a vaccine. Really?
I mean,
I don't know.
Doesn't that sound a little dicey?
They're right in your face and they have patients.
Can I recommend a dentist that I think does really good work?
Oh,
absolutely.
His name is Dr.
Strangers on a training.
Oh my God.
He's got a dog ass name.
First name Kyle.
I'm sure they'll invent the long dentist tools.
Yeah.
All right.
We're going to determine a winner today by playing a new game I've been playing.
We haven't played on the main show before.
I've just been playing around with it on Instagram and Periscope.
And the game is called Jobs, Jobs, Jobs.
And Vanessa, you'll be happy to learn, I think, that this is a game where you can win.
You can just get lucky and win.
Yes.
I love those games.
Yes.
You really have a shot.
They don't require education.
Yeah.
Okay.
So it's whoever does best out of, out of three rounds.
I'm hoping that, you know,
I'm hoping it doesn't get split between the three of you because I only
prepared three rounds stupidly. I should have prepared four, but I,
you know, I got to figure this out as I go.
But the way jobs, jobs,
I go, but the way Jobs, Jobs, Jobs works is that we start with Josh and we tell him a clue about a particular actor or actress. And then I'm going to say the number of professions that actor or
actress has played on screen that I've written down in an order where I think it goes from the
most difficult to discern who it is to the most obvious. And so I'll tell you how many jobs,
and then you tell me, Josh Wolfe, how many jobs you think you need to hear to guess the correct answer.
And then from you, we go to Vanessa,
who then can either bid lower or say, name that job,
or I should say, name that actor or actress.
Oh, okay.
So I could be like, oh, I could do it in two jobs, Doug.
Exactly.
Got it, got it.
Yeah. It's just like Josh has been on that show 25 Words or Less.
Well, I wouldn't say good, but
I've done that before.
You've been on it, right?
Yes, I have been on it a couple times, yeah.
So you understand that bidding
part where we have to bid to
determine.
It's like, name that tune. It really is, So you understand that bidding part where we have to bid to determine. Yeah.
It's like name that tune.
It really is.
But, you know, name that tune is such an old-ass thing that when you say to people,
it's like name that tune, they go, I don't know what you're talking about.
All right.
So, Josh, you're going to go first.
You ready?
I am.
I am.
All right.
This person was born in Manhattan.
Did I mention the clues are not very helpful at all?
I just give a clue just to give some context before saying that I've written down nine motion pictures that this thespian has participated in.
I've written down nine jobs.
How many jobs do you think it'll take you, Josh Wolf,
to discern who this is?
Well, you know what?
Because it's going to come back around to me.
Is that right, Doug?
No matter how many I put in here for my final guess.
I'm going to start at six.
Six jobs, Doug. Six.
Now Vanessa can
either challenge you and I'll name
the six and you have to get it right
or else she gets
the point. Or she could say
five or less names.
Yeah.
So that's a bold opening bid.
Six. Let's see what Vanessa
does with that.
I think that I can name the person in five jobs.
Doug.
Nice.
Doug, are you still with us?
I'm going to challenge, then.
You're going to say, name that person?
Name that person. Vanessa, why do you sound so surprised I thought we were all just gonna keep saying how many how many jobs but I guess
everyone just takes turns saying numbers and then eventually i get tired of this and go that's what i thought but
you said it was gonna be easy
yeah okay
all right but let's go i guess yeah you're really set up to fail here okay born in manhattan tell me those jobs this person has appeared in films as an ex-sailor
a detective a lawyer a mayor and a lieutenant colonel
boy these next ones would have given it away but in a lieutenant colonel.
Boy, these next ones would have given it away.
But those ones, that's a tough batch because most actors have played those kinds of roles.
Okay, I got one.
Okay, who do you think it is, Vanessa?
Martin Sheen.
That is a terrific guess.
No.
But that is not the answer I'm looking for.
Damn.
That means that Josh gets a point.
Ah!
Congratulations to you, Josh.
All right. All right.
See, that's what I meant by anybody can win.
Because I'm playing.
That's what you meant.
No, it's just an immediate example of how all you got to do is challenge somebody and then when they fail.
You know, it's like on Family Feud when they throw it over to the other family and they can't think of one.
Who was it?
Apologies for not saying it because I was going to say the rest just for fun.
I was going to say the rest of the professions.
Oh, yeah.
See if somebody could guess it just for fun.
It's all for fun, right?
This person was also a race car driver
a New York cop
a bank robber and an
author
author
I'm out
James Caan
with exclamation points
see even with all nine Doug the drunken
dental nightmare
didn't get it.
People listening are just screaming at their devices because author-author is a really strong clue.
But a bank robber who becomes a hostage holder in Dog Day Afternoon,
New York cop in Serpico, race car driver and Bobby Deerfield,
et cetera.
Yeah.
That was fun.
Now Doug gets to go next in this next round.
He gets to go first and then he's going to come at Josh and Josh is second.
And then Vanessa will be third.
Are you ready,
Doug? Ready. I have I have to tell you,
when you first were describing this, I was like, this is going to be easy. But then when you said
police officer, I'm like, well, that narrows it down to every dude. Like that's, yeah,
it isn't as easy as I thought it was going to be, especially with my limited knowledge.
Yeah, no, you want to get a lot of names.
You want to get a lot of names because also in some cases,
not that last one, but in some cases the later names will also,
you know, the professions will make it really obvious who we're talking about.
But let's see what this next one brings us, shall we?
Born in 1983.
Whoa. Yeah. brings us shall we born in 1983 whoa yeah this person's played at least seven different professions in motion pictures that i'm aware of how many names do you think you can get it in
doug millard you said seven yeah how's your dog doing she's great i was loving this whole thing oh man yeah she
thinks this is all for her so it's working out well
um i'm gonna say seven then he's taking them all all seven names what do you think of that, Josh? I'm going to say six. Nice. Vanessa,
can you bid lower?
Do you want to get some revenge
on Josh right about now?
I want to get revenge.
So I
challenge.
All right, Josh.
You're going to get six names
out of seven,
six professions out of seven that I wrote down.
Starting with Army Captain, Receptionist, Computer Hacker,
Computer Hacker.
Race Car Driver.
Sociology Major.
And finally, your sixth profession.
Man in Black.
Oh!
This is Chris Hemsworth.
Hemsworth.
That is correct.
Whoa.
Damn.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
If it wasn't for that last one, I would have had no idea.
Right, but you still knew that he was an international man in black and you didn't try to guess
like Tommy Lee Jones or Will
Smith. Well, it was his age.
Yeah, the age gave it
away. So 83.
When you said man in black, that narrows it down
to one of those three guys. Yeah.
You did great work with that.
He was a sociology major in that awesome
film Cabin in the Woods.
Yeah. And he was a race major in that awesome film Cabin in the Woods. Yeah.
And he was a race car driver in Rush.
And he was a computer hacker in Black Hat.
What was the seventh clue?
Thor?
The seventh one was a powerful but arrogant god.
See, I still would have guessed that Tommy Lee Jones was born in 83,
so I wouldn't have got this anyway. Oh not good with years that's what happens when you don't put on sunscreen in Southern California well Josh you did it you won
the inaugural zoom edition of Doug Loves Movies.
What does this say about me, though,
that I have never won?
As a matter of fact, I don't know if I've ever won
a game.
I felt super
confident here at the house, sitting around
with no pants on.
Yeah, maybe the lack of an audience
makes you better. Maybe I also
picked people that aren't as good at it as you are.
Hey, present.
This should be called the lack of knowledge episode.
Just so you guys know, if you had any idea how obviously I usually do,
that would be the right insult, right?
I usually do.
That's the direct insult.
Right.
Well, yeah, I mean, you know, that's the thing is I,
I'm going to bring together, you know, groups of people,
hopefully kind of based on their, their, you know, levels so that it's not, you know, nobody needs to hear like Sam Levine,
just winning every round of everything.
I won. I won the first time I did it. So you did. Yeah.
Accidentally, but I won.
I remember thinking, Oh, Vanessa's going to be,
it's going to be great having her on cause she can hold her own in the games.
And then every time she's been on since it's not
gone nearly as well no just that first i'm gonna get back though i'm gonna keep watching movies
and train i love that and training day and tomorrow whatever i've had a few people like
reach out to me and say you know hey i'm watching a lot more movies so that I could be good enough to be on
Doug most movies. And I'm like, well, that's cool.
But it really is kind of a lifelong commitment to being, you know,
the kind of nerd that remembers the,
all the actors names and the kind of nerd that just enjoys seeing shit get
blown up and doesn't care, doesn't care who was involved. You know,
like we all love movies but we
all you know do different things while the end credits are playing right um doug i watched uh
the last bad boys last night i've been watching whatever movies since you have so much free time
i want are you saying that are you saying the last bad boy is like in a hopeful way? It was not.
I was not.
I was hopeful going in just because I like Will Smith and Martin Lawrence so much.
But it was rough sauce.
It was doo-doo stew.
Yeah, I watched the first like 10 minutes and I was like, I can't.
No, jokes were from the 90s. Yeah, I watched the first like 10 minutes and I was like, I can't.
Jokes were from the 90s.
But they leaned into the emotion so heavily.
There were so many heavy speeches throughout the whole, I just couldn't,
I was high and I wanted to eat my popcorn and enjoy myself and I got Will Smith and Martin Lawrence crying
to each other and I'm like
what the fuck is happening right now
it wasn't right
it was bad boys indeed
was that the last movie
that you saw or was there something
else you've seen more recently
well I did I watched
that last night
and we watched Onward Well, I did. I watched that last night.
And we watched Onward.
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
And then I watched the Birds of Prey, which I did not like.
What? OK, first of all, start with Onward.
What you recommend it?
Yeah, man.
You know, those movies are so well written,
and there's no wasted air in those movies because they're geared towards kids,
and kids don't have a great attention span.
So it's not like you're like, oh, it's not a Judd Apatow movie where you're like, you could list a half an hour,
and it wouldn't change the story at all.
Those movies are streamlined and there's adult humor in them.
So I like those movies.
I thought Onward was good.
Did you see it?
I haven't seen it yet because I don't –
the aesthetic looks too familiar, too similar to tons of other things
that I just don't, you know
that's part of the thing
I like about Pixar movies is they kind of
create their own look each time
and this one just feels a lot like
other stuff that's been out in the marketplace
you know. I would agree
with you on that by the way
but for the time of Corona
if it's between that and Bad Boys for Life
Yeah Agreed But for the time of Corona, if it's between that and Bad Boys for Life... Yeah.
Agreed.
It was fun.
I enjoyed it.
I liked it.
I liked it.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to watch it sometime during this whole thing.
Because it's on Disney+.
Do you know what movie I saw actually at the beginning of this?
Which may honestly be the worst movie I've ever seen in my life.
And,
and guys,
so you're talking to somebody who it's so easy for me to like your movie.
Like I'm,
I go into zero expectations,
zero.
I'm just impressed that you got a movie made and I'm watching it,
but the hunt was the single I have ever seen.
I could not believe.
I thought it was hilarious.
You saw it?
Yeah, I saw it.
I guess I was expecting something different.
I wasn't expecting a comedy.
You know, that's not how
advertisements were that's true vanessa did you think it was like hilarious like in a bad way or
like the jokes landed uh well yeah i don't know it was like i don't think i i don't think there
were supposed to be jokes but i just thought it was so funny on like how corny the dialogue was that it
was like, they had to be doing this on purpose.
Oh, wow.
But yeah, it was very like a funny horror movie.
Kind of in my, in my opinion.
So like good, bad, good, bad, but Josh just not bad.
Yeah. so like good bad good bad but josh just thought bad yeah as i really i thought when i saw the ads i'm like oh this is gonna be like a horror movie but there was no it was if i had known it was
gonna be a campy make sure you smoke eight joints before you watch this, I was real stoned, so that helped.
Yeah, I just heard enough negative things that I haven't gotten around to checking it out yet.
But people do say that Betty Gilpin,
the lead actress that's also on GLOW,
people say it's a good showcase for her,
that she's clearly a good actress.
We got a doubt about that.
Yeah, yeah, I think so. i'm glad we can agree about that i hate to argue about i hate to argue an opinion about a
movie i haven't seen um what about you doug what are you uh watching is there anything you could
recommend to people with all this time on their hands?
Well, the last thing I saw was Onward, which I agree.
I liked it.
I think you'll enjoy it.
Who doesn't want to watch a pair of pants walking around?
But I don't remember.
We watched it last night, and I got so high I don't remember the end.
But I think I liked it I did like it and then the last movie I saw in the theaters was Invisible Man and that was a good thriller
um but I mostly you saw that like a day or two before everybody was told yeah right it was on
the borderline we don't know if we should be out. Is this overblown or is this appropriate?
And then we realized when we were at the theater,
we should not be at the theater and it was too late.
So we went ahead and watched the movie and then we just house again.
So that was it.
And, uh, you liked it.
Yeah, I enjoyed it. It's a, you know, it's a good thriller.
It was a cool take on the invisible man
uh you're definitely rooting for for the lead so i don't know it was fun and i just i've been
catching up on like a lot of people zombie movies and virus movies and that's been fun
that does sound super fun yeah we watched i am legend and when the dog dies i cried because i
was on a lot of mushrooms and i was sad that i couldn't hug people and just everything came out
i guess it's good for people to know that the dog dies before watching that movie
well but yeah that's from what 10 years ago it's fine spoiler
um you know this is a segment where i'm trying to get you to recommend movies oh right out of scene
oh you know you know what i i'll recommend it's coming out in like a week i think but the band
king gizzard has a concert like movie coming out king g King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.
And I've seen them live, and they're mind-blowing.
And I think your audience would really dig it.
It's going to be fun.
Tell me what that was called again?
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.
I mean, listen, they couldn't fit Blizzard in there, too?
They must have, like, been on Doug's podcast,
and they played that game and kept adding words.
Seems that they got awfully lazy.
They could have just said King Giddens, a wizard lizard in a blizzard.
And why don't they add a four shizzard at the end?
I really feel like they gave up towards the end of that. They didn't commit.
What about you, Josh? Any movie
recommendations? Yeah, man.
Like I said, I loved
Onward. I went
back and watched, I'm sure people have seen this,
but I went back and re-watched
Honey Boy just to make sure I loved
it as much as I did.
I still can't believe
that he and it didn't get more
shine, but
the one I would recommend
that I saw recently is
Onward. I really liked it.
Smoke a little weed,
enjoy the visuals, and it's
a fun story.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to watch it.
I'm definitely not
turned off by the visuals enough to pass on it completely.
But now, especially thanks to you, Josh,
it's nice to have a person to be mad at when you're watching a movie.
It's fun to assign blame on someone.
um it's hard to assign blame on someone um i just re-watched um unfriended the dark webs and boy is it scary now oh well um not really um but i just felt like uh when it came out
i didn't understand
why a group of friends would be like
hanging out on a zoom and doing games
and now it's like oh
it makes sense
so I recommend re-watching
that
unfriended
the dark webs
or the dark web
where is it
it was on HBO oh okay yeah it's it's uh it's pretty freaky
i feel like i saw a few minutes of it when i was out on the road somewhere in a hotel room
but maybe not it's it's also of, it's very like silly.
And when I was watching it, I got somebody on Twitter, like tweeted at me.
And when I checked their profile, it was like zero followers, zero following and no picture.
And I was like, it's the dark web.
So it's out there, y''all the dark web is out there
all right fair enough you know with with onward too if you're you're high and you're watching
and you close your eyes you can pretend that it's star lord and spider-Man on their journey to find their dad.
Because it's Tom Holland and Chris Pratt.
Yeah, that's the other thing that's like, you know,
I think those guys are both great,
but I just also want to see their faces the whole time.
It doesn't feel like the awesome Pixar casting where they pick the people based more on how great their voice
is for the character rather than just for them
being a famous...
Chris Pratt was really good, though.
He did a great job, I think. He's a good actor.
They're both good actors.
I don't know. I gotta see it.
We can have this
debate another day, but
I'll probably
just like it just like you guys do and that'll
be the end of that can you all do me a favor and take a picture of yourself uh or your current
environment if you don't want to be on camera but just something that gives people the the feeling
of where you were uh when you participated in this?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
It just texted to me and I'll use that in the promotional materials.
And does anybody else have any,
any other plugs that we didn't touch on at any point during the show?
I got a new Facebook watch show called Josh Wolf's Wonderful World of Weird
that
in a new episode every Tuesday
and I just travel around
and
meet people who do
bizarre things and
I do them with them it's a ton of fun to watch
so you're always kind of experiencing something
new or yeah yeah like i had always wanted to try leech therapy so and it's not me making fun of
people it's really a celebration of whoever i'm going to because i i like things that are a little
offbeat so i went i did leech therapy um i had somebody teach me how to
swallow swords we did a lot of we i ate a lot of bizarre shit you swallowed a sword holy shit you
have to see the it's a crazy i it's what some of the most fun i've ever had just because when i
tell the producer hey i'd like to try this he'll he's all right, let me make it happen. So it's the perfect show for me because I liked,
I like feeling awkward and I like feeling a little out of place.
And so every episode is, that's exactly what I am.
How long are the episodes?
Four to eight minutes.
Oh, okay. And so a new one comes out like a weekly.
Yeah. So I had like, the first one was last Tuesday and then one came out two days ago.
It was today, Thursday. I have no idea.
It's Thursday, yeah.
So, and then, yeah, every Tuesday.
And we have, we shot seven. I'm shooting one more from the house here.
And that'll be eight.
The first season is just eight episodes.
Oh, so like this, this last one you're going to shoot is like,
Hey, it's my first time in a pandemic.
No, the last one.
So what I love, right, is I tell the executive producers,
don't tell me where I'm going.
I don't want to know what they do.
I want to be
surprised just like the viewer when i show up right i think that so on this one um i'm setting
up cameras and i i told the producers i said hey um just go find the weirdest products you can
online order them send them to my house and i'll unbox them live and try every product you send to me
and so that we're just going to find some bizarre things online and see if i can get
them to work here at the house oh my god it's just going to be a series of unusual strap-ons
that's my next series
Lebanese Snicket's a series of unusual
strap-ons
yep you know there's
if there isn't that porn there will be next week
well thank you
Josh Wolf and
Vanessa Gonzalez and Doug
Mellard get your tooth taken care of buddy thanks dude and Vanessa Gonzalez and Doug Mellard. Get your tooth taken care of, buddy.
Thanks, Steve.
And as always, and now perhaps more than ever, positive energy.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.