Doug Loves Movies - Wide World of Dougs episode 1: Doug Day Afternoon with Amy Miller
Episode Date: July 10, 2020Doug Benson and Doug Mellard have a new podcast called Wide World of Dougs! Here is the first episode. Subscribe now wherever you do that sort of thing. Enjoy!Doug and Doug set up the premise... of the show with their first guest Amy Miller.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, Doug Benson here. I've got a brand new podcast called Wide World of Doug's. Here's
the first episode, but to hear more, pretty please subscribe in Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts. You know the deal.
Hey, everybody. Welcome to yet another podcast from Doug Benson.
I've teamed up with my friend Doug Millard, who I have standing by right now in Santa Fe.
Hello, Doug.
Hello, DB. How are you doing, buddy?
I'm doing good. I'm excited to go out on this new adventure with you,
where we're going to try to find all the
best Dougs in the world and talk to them and mostly joke around and have fun. And we'll have
special guests every episode. And today is no exception. In addition to the two Dougs that
are hosting the show, we're going to be joined by our friend Amy Miller.
Yeah.
Yeah, and we're just going to set this thing up.
We're just going to set the table, if you will,
and tell people what to expect from this podcast.
It's funny because you said there's going to be a lot of jokes,
but I thought this whole time it was going to be a very serious podcast about
Doug's.
Well, I wish we'd discuss that, but I figure, you know,
since you are a standup comedian, you could probably make the adjustment.
And starting next week,
we're going to have new episodes every week.
And on each episode, we're going to try to get a different Doug from all walks of life to appear with us and discuss what it's like having the name Doug and living as a Doug.
Yes, it's not a name that really pops or stands out.
Yeah.
It's not the worst name you could have.
And it's certainly not the best.
So the people saddled with the name Doug,
they have to,
you know,
prove themselves.
Saddled is a good word.
I mean,
Douglas is cool.
I mean,
it's,
it sounds distinguished, which, which you know neither of us are
at all right you know so they should have they should have looked at us as babies and went well
these guys aren't going to walk around smoking cigarettes with a holder well yeah it's like
you know the word douglas has been around but yeah. Who's who cut off the less at what point in history and went with Doug?
Cause I feel like Douglas to Doug,
it just lose all the distinguishment like right away is distinguished.
That's why some a holes like on, uh, you know,
Wikipedia or IMDB or something,
their name will be listed as Douglas and then in quotes, uh, you know, Wikipedia or IMDb or something, their name will be listed as Douglas.
And then in quotes,
Doug,
and then their last name,
you know,
like Doug is the nickname,
which those things always crack me up.
Cause I never understood any of those.
I don't know how you get Dick out of Richard.
Although most of them that I've met are,
um,
it's just weird how people just have to shorten names all the time.
Yeah.
But yeah, whoever that first Douglas was that cut it to Doug
just kind of ruined it, you know?
I mean, I assume it was somebody that knows that person.
I don't think he did it himself.
Call me Doug.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sick of being taken seriously please call me doug from now on
it was a sir doug yeah it's just such a it's such a weird name once you've lopped off that that
last part yeah i used to have uh i used to say in my act to very little laughter usually that I'd say it's true.
I'm Douglas. I have no Doug.
It didn't make any, you know,
it's just a non sequitur and I couldn't figure out any way to, you know,
really keep it in the act.
But we are going to be joined every week by a professional comedian person who will, you know, just sort of be there to be, you know, the non-Doug point of view.
Right.
You know, to just sit there and just chip away at the Dougs.
This is a professional panel.
Yeah.
And so joining us today, I'm so excited.
Did I already say this? Am I repeating myself?
I think you did a little bit.
I think I did say already. I'm so excited that she's going to be here.
And we're just going to, you know, talk Doug's.
And I'm very excited about getting to the theme song.
Yeah.
I commissioned it and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.
Hey, Doug, sorry to interrupt. Producer Ryan here. I commissioned it and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.
Hey, Doug, sorry to interrupt producer Ryan here.
Our guest has arrived.
Nice.
Yeah.
Hey, so let's do this thing. Let's play that theme song and get going. What'd you think, Amy?
That was really stupid.
I love it.
I don't know why I was like,
it needs to be metal and the vocals need to include a child.
I feel pumped.
I'm definitely pumped.
That's where we, yeah.
I mean, it just gets you in the mood to talk about Dougs, doesn't it?
All Dougged up.
Ducks and rock and roll.
Oh man, did we give this show the wrong title?
Episode 2, different title.
I'm about to get dug out.
That's what we should do, is just have guests on the show and try to think of a better title for the show.
How's it going, Amy?
It's good. I miss you guys.
I definitely miss you.
I mean, I'm pumped.
It sucks that we can't get together in person, but at least we can do this.
I know.
I mean, I can't see you.
What are you guys wearing?
I bet Doug DB could identify what I'm maybe wearing, what my theme is.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I wore the same pants the other day.
Oh, shoot. I'm wearing a nicholas cage
covered pants and a nicholas cage t-shirt but nicholas cage on the t-shirt has a
duck for a body for i don't know what reason
a duck not a duck do you think maybe he was a nicholas cage free duck
oh yeah that's a oh yeah you just solved a mystery that's been lingering for like months
i think most ducks are cage free aren't they yeah i mean i guess so
that's the life of a duck? Welcome back, everybody, to Wide World of Ducks.
We've decided to change the whole point of view of this podcast midstream.
And Amy, where do you stand on ducks?
Terrified.
Really?
Yeah, we had pet ducks as a kid.
Whoa. uh terrified very really yeah we had pet ducks as a kid it wasn't whoa well my mom like bought some baby ducks for easter which is cute in that moment like in a
little basket you know and then when they're they became adults and the boy one murdered the girl
one in cold blood oh and then and then he refused to leave our property and
we still have scars i have a duck bite scar on my body oh my god in 2020 so no i don't like ducks
so yeah we made the right call because it was this close to wide world of ducks for real
and we were like we're both named Doug, so maybe let's stick to that.
How long have the two of you known each other as standing up comedians?
What do you think? Maybe like 10-ish years, you think?
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
Well, I'm coming up on my 10th anniversary.
Oh, wow.
So maybe more like eight,
but better friends in the last few years.
Yeah.
And I think,
correct me if I'm wrong.
Did we meet at that Portland brunch show?
Maybe the one that I was running.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was such a fun show.
Oh,
thank you so much.
Yeah.
God,
legacy lives.
Remember real shows. Yeah. Yeah. Legacy lives. Remember real shows?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Remember real comedy shows?
Brunch at a dive bar?
I would kill for that right now.
I know.
Me too.
Yeah.
There's lots of interesting venues there in Portland.
Of course, that's where you and I met, Amy, because I rolled through
Helium with Doug Loves Movies and our boy, I think it was Sean Jordan, probably introduced us.
Yes, we had so much fun and the rest is herstory.
Yes, the rest is your story. I just i'm just in it um but uh yeah what's that it's been a long
time now yeah well doug lowe's movies has been going for maybe 13 years so maybe you might have
met doug mellard and me both you know within a few a year or two of each other, maybe. I did feel like my Doug number went up.
There was a spike around 2012.
Oh my God, I was watching the Coronavirus Task Force
this morning talking about there's been a Doug spike.
Oh no.
The country can't handle it.
It's good for a podcast, though. The country can't handle it. Well, it's good for our podcast, though.
Exactly.
That's the thing.
It's a very divisive name and issue.
So you guys are on the right side of things, and that's nice.
So how many times we've – I always joke about it with you, Amy, but how many times do you think you've actually done Douglas movies?
Oh, including the at-home ones? I don't know, maybe like 30 or something, 25?
Yikes!
Why yikes?
Weird response.
I just, you know,
that it's a lot
and that, you know, but it's also
as much as I love
Amy, it's just also the number
of actual episodes
is so much more than that.
So I think your guesstimate
is a little on the low side maybe,
but I can't be absolutely sure.
Yeah, maybe so.
I'll do a search.
We'll do a search.
There you go.
So yeah.
Several different places.
So that's why, yeah,
we've done it on the road and stuff.
So since Doug and I both know you,
we're excited to have you be the first guest on the show
and the first non-Doug guest.
We thought we'd just take one episode to just chat with you
about what we're doing here
and then kind of set up what's going to happen.
And then next week is going to be our very first Doug.
Yeah.
We already have a lead on a pretty good Doug.
Yeah.
Uh,
you can't say you want to,
do you want to tell us who it is?
Doug Millard?
Uh,
well,
uh,
we've got a few good leads,
but yeah,
but what's the one where yesterday you were like,
are we going to talk about this?
Doug Aldrich from Whitesnake.
Wait, wait, wait.
Do you know who that is, Amy?
He's in Whitesnake.
Yeah, did you know that?
Doug just said it.
I didn't cut him off on time.
You know, I forgot to tell you, Doug,
I like to make everything into a game show.
So I was going to ask if any knew who Doug Aldridge was.
Because he's obviously a top Doug if he's a guitarist in Whitesnake.
That's amazing.
But also kind of invisible.
Who's that lead guy in Whitesnake?
Well.
Coverdale?
Is that his name, Coverdale?
I have no idea. I'll do a quick search you guys really have no so doug meller you were doing research on a guy that's also in white snake yeah david coverdale
but uh the guy's got beautiful hair this doug aldrich guy
oh yeah i know i don't know that's really necessarily a selling point a reason for people
to listen but we've got his phone number we're gonna reach out and uh you know try to
try to make it happen with that dude and we we also are going to take a brief commercial break, super brief,
and then we will be right back.
We're back with more of the wide world of Dougs.
There's so many Dougs out there, and our guest amy miller knows at least two of them
because she knows both of us but also amy could you just tell us about the dugs in that you've
encountered in your life any ones that you can remember you know famous or unfamous infamous infamous yes more infamous than it's it i think
all the dugs that i really like are comedians which is i guess that makes sense and every
single other one i ever met is terrible oh. The non-comedian Dugs?
Yeah.
Oh, well.
Yeah, maybe the maybe the comedian Dugs
are like kind of
forced into like comedy,
like they're forced into,
you know,
making people laugh
and stuff because
otherwise they just
go unnoticed.
Yeah.
Or be made fun of.
And then they just get
better and angry
because they're like you know
they're named doug and nobody cares i feel like doug is like a name where you're almost forced
to have a sense of humor to be taken seriously which is ironic yes and if you don't there's
something so wrong like you don't know that we know that your name's doug yeah because you'll also be called dougie a
lot and if you can't think that's at least a little bit funny what's wrong with you i guess
i don't know i i have a bit about doug's which doug has seen because he you once very sweetly
came to see me at the punchline on a night off that I,
I don't, I know comedians ever done that ever.
And in the, in the mid two thousands,
there was like a scourge in the Bay area of Doug's managing various
restaurants and bars.
managing various restaurants and bars that I worked in and my brother worked in and yeah, they were all bad. And so in this bit when, you know, around the country, I've often asked,
like, if there are dugs in the room and I have to say, it's pretty rare. It's maybe, you know,
been, you know, less than five times that someone
at least admitted to being a doug
yeah there's a lot of dougs in the shadows
black doug you gotta watch out for the Doug state yeah and then one manager
I had was just such a
fucking little weasel Doug
you know just like he was like
bad short and
you know I like short guys
there's good short
there's also bad fat and good fat
you know like I'm good fat
but Russell Crowe is like coke float and this guy
was that short just so sneaky super misogynist just had these just little children who would
come into the diner and like suck on the ketchup bottles like they were bottles. Oh my God. Put them back on the table, but like never reprimand them.
Oh,
the worst.
The worst.
That's perfect.
I love it.
I think we could get him on the show.
Well,
he still manages that diner,
Doug.
So yes.
Oh,
wow.
Oh,
damn.
We'll ask about the ketchup bottles for sure that is wild um also one thing I'm looking forward about uh too with this show though is that I do it not in
in the media and then I've also actually known for some reason Doug is actually a fairly frequent
name for uh for black men. Yeah.
Like we can actually have people of color.
I mean, we're not going to have any Hispanic people named Doug because I know that that doesn't exist because in Spanish class in high school,
my teacher's like, what's your name?
And I'm like, Doug.
And he goes, well, I can't, you know, there's no Spanish word for that.
And he goes, what's your middle name?
And I'm like, Stephen.
And he goes, okay, you're Esteban'm like steven and he goes okay you're esteban
and you know why i never learned spanish because when he would call on esteban i was the last
person to know that he was calling on me my high school spanish teacher called me miller high life
so oh my god sounds like yours was a little more professional. Yeah. What is that teacher up to these days?
Oh, Senor Ledesma. You know, he had,
he loved an outfit kind of like you cause he would do head to toe Garfield
sweatpants.
No way.
At school. Oh yeah.
And he called you Miller High Life in class.
Yeah, he was an icon.
he called you Miller High Life in class.
Yeah, he was an icon.
I mean, there might be some Hispanic
Latinx Dugs. I don't know.
I know there's going to be
maybe a lot of black guys who
started as Douglas and then
shortened to Doug or Dougie.
And you're going to get a fair amount
of Asian guys, I think.
Yeah, that's true. That's true. And yeah, it's like,
seems like the world of sports has a lot of Doug's and that also probably
falls in line with why we became comedians.
It's kind of like,
those are a couple of different paths that Doug could take to get attention
is to be good at sports or to tell jokes, you know?
Mommy, what can dugs do
how can a doug make it in this world and why did you give me that damn name
you guys should try to get doug marsh from built to build rules yeah that new album is incredible
that would be amazing i love it that guy wails marsh yeah he's great he's one of the best
guitarists like he's thought of like incredible
yeah yeah as a an amazing guitarist but yeah he has a new album of uh daniel
johnson covers so good i saw i saw i saw bill to spill
the only time i saw him live was at Bumbershoot in Seattle,
and they stuck them on an afternoon, I think it was,
in the Key Arena, which is kind of notorious
for not having the greatest acoustics.
And it did not sound good.
So I've heard their albums, so I know they're good.
But that was unfortunate. But also, if i had known his name was doug i would have tried
harder to find them a better venue um but he also looks like a doug that would be bad
and i think he's such an incredible guitar player but I don't think he gets all the shine he deserves because he's just like,
you know, he's not like a front man looking guy.
Yeah.
And so people like forget.
And also he doesn't own it.
He's not like, I'm one of the best guitar players ever.
My name's Doug.
Yeah, it's because of the Doug name.
He's like subdued.
And his look.
Subdued. And his look. Subdued.
I saw them once, probably 15 years ago, at Stubbs Barbecue in Austin. And they closed on Lynyrd Skynyrd's Freebird,
which doesn't go with anything else like their actual catalog of music.
No.
And you wouldn't expect it, but they, I mean,
it was like you were seeing Freebird in the heyday live.
It was insane.
It was like kind of hysterical in a way, but it was so good.
It was really funny.
Oh yeah.
I would have lost my mind.
Yeah.
Well,
cause there's some asshole that always just yells Freebird,
like thinking it's the hilarious thing to request when a band has their own music.
And so that must have made that one guy so happy when they played.
It finally happened.
They're doing it for me, man.
Yeah, but that's true.
We definitely have some uh you know some musician possibilities but
let me ask you this amy miller ever you see never dated a doug i have never dated a doug
no not even one date actually no no not even one date the only dugs that i have really adored have been comedians and gay guys and
i don't date those categories of people well one category doesn't date me yeah
that's a but that's a great thing to ask to wonder about is gay dugs is is there any evidence one way or another that doug would be i guess i
guess there isn't i guess it's just another name that you know when they put it on you at birth
you don't know if you're gonna be gay or you know or not yet can't name a baby based on that
maybe it might be gay or we shouldn't we shouldn't name him Doug. I don't feel like that's...
The thing I hate about Doug, and you can back me up
with us if you want, Doug, is that it's hard
for people to understand what you're saying
when you have to say your name to them in a
loud situation.
Like in a bar or something,
like if they need your name for your credit card or whatever.
It just
sounds like, in a loud situation, it just sounds like
you're going, uh!
Yeah, uh! my name is i also don't know doug and maybe it's just me i maybe i have terrible handwriting but if i'm spelling my name d-o-u-g if i put the little line coming down from the U, it can sometimes look like dong.
It turns into an N.
And that has happened many times.
That I like.
I'm not upset at it.
I don't know, man.
I would go see a comedian named Dong Mellard.
In a second.
I actually thought I was coming on a wild world of dongs today.
That was hard to say.
Amy, we need you to come on a podcast and talk about all the dongs you've met.
Oh, how much time do you have?
Yeah, I've never seen a Doug dong.
Oh, wow.
I haven't really thought about it.
I don't think.
That's another thing.
I guess they can't know when they name you how big your junk's going to be,
but I don't feel like there's a lot of big dick dugs.
You have kind of an idea.
I have seen a lot of baby penises, oddly, and you can tell.
Really?
Yeah, for sure.
I'll tell you, there's a comedian comedian it's inappropriate if I say it but there's a comedian we all know I'll tell you after who has a child I have cared for that has the biggest child penis I've ever
seen whoa and his dad is like notorious also for, I've never seen it, but it's,
it's pretty remarkable.
It's a wide world of dongs.
They went from ducks to dugs to dongs.
And then I presume we'll go back to dugs.
We'll talk about dough.
Well,
that's what happens to me a lot is when somebody tries to write down Doug they add an
H for some reason at the end I'm always like okay I guess I should eat less
I guess they think my name is Doe here's your coffee bread boy
it's weird because you don't see a lot of Doug's you don't hear about a ton of Doug's
so growing up any Doug that I would come across that there was like a Doug Smith
that played for the Dallas Mavericks and I grew up in Dallas and he was like I
think he was like a bench player he wasn't like a star but I rooted for him
so hard and then kind of similarly when I saw doughnut spelt with dough in it
with the word Doug I was so excited for whatever reason,
maybe because I'm stupid.
I also really like donuts.
So maybe that was part of it.
Yeah.
They're good.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
I'll get,
you know,
I'll get an occasional Instagram photo sent my way.
Uh,
when,
when like a sign,
you know,
says donuts and the H is out.
Yeah.
Yeah. And it'd be Dugnuts.
I've never seen any.
I mean, I enjoy that one, but I still,
the one I enjoy the most is when I drive by a Black Angus steakhouse
and the G is out.
Yeah.
I'm just too childish to not laugh at anus
I guess Amy it'd be weird if you saw
You didn't see any Doug Dongs
But you did see some Doug Balls for some reason
I don't know how that would work
You know someone pranking me
Yeah I guess the zipper trick
Classic
I sat in gum
Everybody loves that game um you guys are probably this is probably before your time but i wanted to talk about how
because i had this idea there used to be a song it's really catchy that they would sing for uh
armor hot dogs oh i about all the different types of kids that like armor hot dogs armor hot
dogs that yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh so i thought oh i'll just change uh you know uh instead of the
word kids i'll just change it to dugs and we'll have like a cute little song to go with our show.
And then I realized what a weird ass.
This is the original.
This is what they sing in that commercial.
Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks.
Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken hot dogs the dogs kids love to bite now there's so much going on there
that they come out of the gate with fat kids is like wait a second i mean you're telling hot dogs
here it seems like it seems very evil, but then climb on rocks. Okay.
You know, they're getting the kids out there doing some stuff,
but then that the word sissy is ascribed to,
there's just a group of kids who are sissies. Wow.
In a TV commercial for hot dogs.
yeah and the chicken pox things you think maybe don't feed your kid that's going through chicken pox a hot dog you know for lunch well i think they mean just the kids that had it and then
they're you know they're not gonna isn't that the thing you're not supposed to get again
once yeah oh yeah there you go mystery solved i think that's how it used to be
i think now you can get it again i think you can get like you know super chicken pox or something
oh lord kids now just like don't get it at all usually but they do seem pretty dumb
i feel like we all got it once yes like yeah Yeah. I did not care for that.
And he does have like chicken pox scars.
A lot of scar talk.
Yeah.
Ducks and chicken pox.
Ducks and chickens.
We're going to be showing off our tattoos soon.
Oh, God, no.
Doug, have you ever had any friends that are like a friend that's not,
you know, like obviously we know some comedians named Doug,
like Doug Stanhope, but have you ever hung out with another Doug
that wasn't because you're both standups?
Well, I was named after two Dugs.
well i was named after two dugs my dad had his he had two best friends named doug in high school they had us pretty early just after high school and his saying was i never met a doug i didn't
like that's why they named me doug but my joke is that that's a lot of pressure for a baby immediately, you know, like I better live up to those other dugs. Um,
so there's obviously that my namesake and it was weird. One,
one of the namesakes I hadn't seen probably since childhood.
I saw him a couple of years ago at a wedding and, uh,
he came up to us and his wife was a speech therapist.
My wife's a speech therapist.
We were making similar jokes.
It was really weird.
It was really bizarre.
It's like a bizarro Doug mirror thing.
But outside of him, there was one Doug in high school
that also had a pretty good sense of humor,
but not a lot of Dougs outside of, again, yeah,
I think we all know several comics named Doug,
but yeah, not a lot of like non-comedian dugs out there that i've interacted with all right well i um have been
trying to think of any other dugs i know that aren't a comic and i haven't yeah i haven't come
up with anybody i just said we don't we don't befriend
each other I think I knew
no that guy's name was Edward
close
I feel like
not a lot of people keep Douglas
either I like the name
Douglas but I don't think I've ever met one that really hung on to it.
Yeah.
It's classy for sure.
And I think part of the reason we feel that way is because Douglas is such a great last name, you know, for like Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas.
Frederick Douglas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
Frederick Douglass.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
I think growing up, like, your parents would yell, Douglass!
And it just seems like a thing to stay away from because it's just a mad yell.
It's a very funny word.
It feels like someone's just trying to, like, hastily feminize Doug.
Right.
What about Doug Liz?
Yeah,
we tried Dougette and we just didn't like it.
By the way, I googled female version of
Doug just a little bit ago
and it says a girl in
red comes up and I have no idea
what that means. So maybe somebody
listening can...
I sent it to DB. it says it is too trendy and
made up for the personal taste but maybe appeal to you a girl in red is correct though i don't
understand that what does that mean i don't know what is google doing what is i don't know
it's it just couldn't compute female doug it's just not a thing. It just made up a lie. Just starts talking about some girl in red?
Yeah, it's a girl in R-E-A-D.
Like, none of it makes sense.
I'm so confused.
I think you need to learn how to R-E-A-D.
Yeah, maybe I'm just illiterate.
I'm trying to translate these symbols online for you guys,
but not very good.
All right. So let's, let's take turns spitballing, you know,
Doug's that, you know, we should be reaching out to starting with,
have you guys seen those commercials for Liberty Mutual?
Yeah.
Yes.
With the emu and Doug.
Oh, right.
You know that guy?
Yeah.
See, that's the thing about Doug is it's often like a comedy name.
Like if you just say Doug, people immediately know,
oh, that's some sort of mild mannered,
uh,
nerd of some kind,
you know?
And,
uh,
and it's just these,
these commercials drive me crazy.
Cause it's,
you know,
this,
they play this like exciting detective seventies detective music,
you know?
And they're like,
it's the emu and Doug.
And Doug just seems like so tossed off.
But Doug does all the talking in all these commercials.
And there's just an emu sitting there doing nothing.
Yeah, that's funny because emu is the joke part.
But Doug, the Doug part in that sentence feels like the punchline.
Just the word Doug.
Yeah, that's the thing.
There's a fucking emu.
Emu is the funny part. Yeah, that's the thing. There's a fucking emu. Emu's the funny part.
You know, there used to be a guy that would go on TV all the time with a puppet emu
and the joke was every time the puppet emu would just start attacking him
and even though he's operating the puppet, it was really funny that his puppet would just
start biting him and throwing him to the ground.
But his name was Rod Hull, and the act was called Rod Hull and His Emu.
And that's where the laugh is, an emu.
But these new commercials, the emu and Doug.
And then, of course, Doug is, like, way too into insurance
and trying to get people insured.
It's like an insurance cop or something.
Yeah.
It's confusing.
So you could get that guy.
He's probably like a UCB person.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm saying I'm interested in,
and then a person like him who is saddled now with being called Doug by
strangers for the rest of his life.
Oh, right.
So he's essentially a Doug now. He's a backdoor Doug.
Or he's an actor named Doug who they cast as Doug.
Yeah, as in show.
Probably. He looks like a Doug. I don't know what that means, but you guys do.
A few months ago, I had an audition for a TV show that I was like, so excited to get to audition for and so super into it.
And, you know, it felt like they were like reaching out for me specifically, even though, you know, they always bring in a million actors.
And they sent they sent me the sides and the character's name is Doug.
And I didn't get it.
Sorry. Oh, my God. and the character's name is Doug and I didn't get it. I'm sorry.
Oh my God.
No.
It just felt so perfect.
Like it feels like if the character's name is your name
and they bring you in for the part,
they know what they're doing, right?
Don't they know?
I've got this part.
Well, did you bring your emu?
That was the thing is I had no idea that, that you know the guy who ended up getting the part he
did bring an emu and that's how he got the part like i didn't know i just thought i was auditioning
to be you know with an emu i didn't know i had to bring my own and now you're just gonna bring
one to every audition henceforth i mean who wouldn't want to meet an emu?
Right.
I would get so much work.
Alright, who wants to go next?
Who's got another Doug we should try
to talk to? Go for it, Amy.
Do you have one you're thinking of?
Is DJ
Doug Pound's name actually Doug?
I don't really know him, Doug.
In the name Doug Pound, it's spelled with two Gs.
His name must be Doug, right?
It has to be.
Yeah, yeah.
I think he is.
He was on...
Very funny.
Yeah, it is Doug.
Yeah, he was a guest on Doug Loves Movies one time when we did it outside at a music festival up near Vancouver.
And Pemberton Music Festival is what it was called.
And it was a terrible idea to begin with for me to do Doug Love's movies, you know, outside at a music festival.
And then to make matters worse, you know,
he seemed like a very nice guy, DJ Doug Pound, but, you know,
we thought, oh, it'll be fun for him to have his, like,
his DJ set up and he can do drops.
He can, like, make funny noises throughout the show.
But, like, unless you're really, like, in sync with the funny noise guy
and you're trying to do a show and he's just dropping in funny noises
and you're at a music festival
where none of the audience really cares about
if there's any funny noises being dropped in.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
But I'd like to, you know, he's a cool dude.
I'd like to bring him on the show
and talk to him about being a dog.
I just got into a country artist named Dougie pool.
And I, he's great. I think you'd actually really like him. Amy.
He's got some kind of like haunting kind of almost psych country music.
It's really good, but I got to check that out. Yeah.
I think he'd be a good guess
uh i don't know where he's from but he has a song called uh los angeles it's got la in the title
he's also got one called vaping on a job that is great but i think he'd be a cool guest but what's
his name dougie pool p-o-o-l-e yeah p-o-o-l-a-e yeah cool and uh and i think it's interesting that he's a
musician yeah going by dougie i think that's that's pretty unique yeah i mean because that
just leads to especially nowadays just lots of teach me how to dougie talk that's probably right
hey there's somebody we could get the guy from Cali Swag District
that wrote that song.
Does he spell it like
Dougie Fresh or just like
Dougie?
Which one? Oh, Dougie Pool?
Yeah. Oh, no, like
Dougie.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I wasn't
even thinking middle initial
on that. I was just thinking Dougie. Yeah. Yeah, Dougie Pool I wasn't even thinking middle initial on that I was just thinking Dougie
yeah Dougie Poole
alright I'll
check out that
he's incredible yeah
Doug do you remember
when we went and talked to Tom Papa
and Fortune Beamster
at Sirius XM
on their show Netflix is a Joke radio or whatever it's called right yeah
she I recently saw it because I'm binge watching a TV show from a few seasons back
that I just never noticed and I really like it a lot it's called Life in Pieces
and it's a it was a CBS sitcom that lasted for like four seasons.
And I had never seen any of it.
It stars Colin Hanks and a few other funny people.
And so I was watching it, and Fortune shows up as this obnoxious woman
that's on a blind date with this guy.
And her name is Dougie. as this obnoxious woman that's on a blind date with this guy. And,
uh,
and,
uh,
her name is Dougie.
Yes.
So great.
And so they just call her Dougie a lot.
She keeps talking.
She says it a few times and it's just like,
it's so funny. And I think she mentioned that to us when we were on with her,
that I,
she was like,
I played a Dougie,
but I wasn't familiar with the show she was talking about.
Then when she popped up on there and I saw it, I was very delighted.
But also, anytime she acts in something, I think she's so –
I mean, I like her in all areas, but she's so fucking good.
Like, did you guys see Office Christmas Party? Yeah. Yeah, she's a star. She's so fucking good as like the did you guys see office christmas party yeah yeah she's a star
she's so funny oh my god her scene with uh with jennifer aniston because she's like a driving an
uber that jennifer's in jennifer's name in the in the movie is carol and the way fortune says
carol and the way she constantly says it because don't you hate it when your driver gets a hold of your name
and then uses it too much?
Yeah, it does.
It does?
Yeah.
So she just keeps going, Carol!
Carol!
The way she talks is already so funny, so anything she says is like.
It's very natural, like all her roles, anything she says is like it's very natural like all her roles anything she plays
that's funny she had a scene
with Jennifer Aniston as did you Doug
oh that's true
that is a very good
point
how does that get us to Kevin Bacon
you know
what's her fortune scene
is in the you know
the outtakes from it are in the end credits.
Cause she said so many funny things they didn't use in the movie.
And I didn't,
I didn't have any outtakes or alternate takes on friends. I got,
I got two times to do it.
And the time Jennifer did it right was the one that used
like the first take.
I destroyed it. Like, like the audience laughs for way too long at my line
and it kind of threw her off so uh they did it again and then and so then of course it's just
a regular laugh because they already heard me say it and then uh and then she got her part and to take the years. The life of a Doug
is really
something.
Are the two of you familiar with
Doug the Pug?
Oh, of course.
No, I've missed this.
Oh, you've got to check it out then.
Tell us about Doug the Pug,
Doug.
Well, he's just an adorable dog named Doug.
It's a really good name for a dog.
It's amazing.
I think he has like 4 million Instagram followers, right?
Something like that.
That many?
I think so.
I got, I mean.
4 mil.
Immediate follow from me.
No question.
Yeah.
Do you think that, um,
would the owner of Doug the pug be somebody we'd want to talk to?
I think absolutely. That's a great idea.
Yeah.
Pet talent business is very interesting.
Those guys make a lot of money off their dogs.
Well, you know, I don't know if, uh,
Doug Mellard is monetized it yet,
but he has an adorable dog that has
an Instagram account.
We've really just used it to give
money back to the shelter that
we found her at.
Oh, that's nice. Yeah, we sell calendars
every year.
I should send you, I'll send you guys both one
if we have some here.
Yeah, it's my dog's penny
at the luckiest penny on instagram she has 43 000 followers which is way many more than i have
and uh i mean it is and it isn't as i'm a jealous man but uh i'm just gonna ride my dog's coattails
to fame but people are like why is this dog promoting an album taping
yeah i mean do you think could you maybe throw in a few posts on that um on your dogs
oh yeah i've been really so could you promote this yeah we could definitely yeah we were just
actually talking about it it came up right before i got on my wife flynn uh on her like facebook
you know memories or whatever it popped up a year ago today that penny uh you called her to the
stage on her doug loves movies at the ucb and like the pictures are insane because she looked like
she was born ready to just be out there and perform for the audience it's adorable but
yeah i haven't used it too much to promote my stuff,
but yeah, we could definitely promote this.
I just didn't promote my own stuff because my albums are called fart Safari
and fart Safari too. And all that,
it just didn't feel right for a dog audience.
Here's what,
here's what you do is you promote the podcast tag thug,
the pug animal day oh yeah yeah i like it i mean because we're
going to be an animal friendly podcast because we both love animals we're not you know we're not
going to hurt any animals on the show um nice yeah i think it's the least i could do is not hurt animals on this podcast
i saw like that animal right before we started recording
what was it my cat killed something it's it's fine cats are crazy like that
was it a duck i wish i mean the things your cat is killing that you don't know about
is just it's crazy no i always know about him
your cat always brings it to you like and presents it she makes sure i know
somehow in this case this is very sad people are gonna be mad at me
i'm sorry oh no don't don't do that my cat has a bell she truly doesn't like kill that many things
with the bell and so i think i don't know if you're a bird and you got got by a old fat cat
with a bell maybe it was your time i don't know but uh i love that you uh put a bell on it
though well i don't want the birds to die yeah that's so nice of you i mean most people with
cats that go outside the cats go outside and they just have their own life that's death march like
that's why there's cats all over disneyland that you don't see when you're there but they live
there because there's there would just be you know you can't have when you're there, but they live there because there's,
there would just be, you know, you can't have rats at Disneyland. So they'd rather just have
a bunch of wild cats that hide from the public during the day. And then at night they just go
around killing all the rats. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I'll send her there.
That'd be a fun like work vacation for your cat.
that'd be a fun like work vacation for your cat have you amy have you ever had i live with my brother a while back and he had this cat willie nelson uh it was great he just passed away rest
in peace willie but uh cat right yeah the cat the cat sorry yeah willie like i haven't looked
at the internet yet today and the reason he was named named Willie Nelson, by the way, my, uh,
my sister-in-law really wanted to keep this cat.
It was kind of coming by and my brother's on the fence and it was raining one
day and she just started calling Willie Nelson. She was like,
you wouldn't let Willie Nelson be out in the rain if it was really Willie
Nelson. He's like, no. So they brought him in and then,
but if you ever had ever had he one time
brought in like like like db just said doug said uh presented us this bird and we were like what
do we do with this in our apartment and we went to move it and it was definitely still alive it
was just really stunned and it startled us so much it was crazy yeah that's the worst because then you're like i gotta fucking
finish off this like some sort of person from the sopranos
uh yes i mean she usually presents it today she was just like screaming in the backyard so i knew
there was something very proud of and then i went out there and then all the birds were
also screaming because they were
like watching. It was very
sad and I'm sorry to everyone who's
a vegetarian.
But she ate it
and so she's not coming back inside for
at least a week.
I love we just talked about
this being like pet friendly and now we're just
talking about animals getting murdered.
Sorry.
There's lots of cat lovers.
We could just count on the cat lovers to know that that's just a cats of
just,
that's what they,
you know,
that's what they do.
They're doing.
Yeah.
It's just nature doing its thing.
Dogs,
dogs will kill birds if dogs can get their shit together.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Dogs just chase other animals and never really
actually catch them and kill them.
Nope. Every night, our dog Penny,
we're in Santa Fe right now for quarantine
and there's lizards and rabbits
all around.
Countless times a day she chases them.
She has not caught one thing.
Not even close um okay so
what about you know we love having women on the show and we'll have you know been on
every week along with our doug guests but um, there's a comedian named Lori Douglas.
Oh, I don't know her.
I don't know where I found out about her. Maybe somebody tweeted it at me.
But you're going to get into last name Doug's.
Well, that's, I'm just, I'm just throwing it out there because, you know, um,
we want to have interesting guests and we want to have guests every week.
I mean, I guess sometimes Doug and I can just chill with whoever.
Amy mentioned the holy grail of Doug's, Doug E. Fresh.
Yeah.
Oh, she did?
Yeah.
Yeah, when we were having the Dougougie pool debate on how he spelled it
oh yeah yeah yeah i just said like dougie fresh yeah to me he feels like at least until someone
else convinces me otherwise he feels like the holy grail of to me he's the doug that certainly
has been referenced the most to me yeah that's you know like when you say your name's doug
you know square white guys love to go dougie fresh yeah within minutes like you don't know
this person but they will call you dougie fresh and pete holmes calls it calls me that
every time i see him which is neither here nor there he You said square white guys, not super cool ones.
I was already thinking of Pete when I was saying it,
and then I decided to go ahead and throw him under the bus
because that bus is going to just hit him and stop.
He's a big man.
The top four Doug nicknames,
Dougie fresh is number one.
Then you think Dougie Doug probably would be a great guest.
And then,
uh,
honorary Doug's Doogie from Doogie Houser.
When that came out,
I was Doogie for a while and I still get that on occasion.
And then Doug funny, you know,
because of the TV show Doug.
Yeah.
We had spoken
on one of the shows that we went on to
promote this show about how
the voice
of Doug on the Doug cartoon
is Billy West.
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
He'd be interesting to try to talk to.
And also, I'm saying all this because
I want people, the listeners
to be engaged. I mean, especially if you're
at Doug, you should
reach out to us.
But if you know any Dougs,
especially if you have access
like a phone number and everything, if you know any Dougs, you know, especially if you have access, like a phone number and everything, to, you know, if you can get us to Doug E. Fresh or Doug E. Doug or Billy West.
Yeah.
I don't know any of these people, but we can, you know, we could try to figure it out.
So we're together. It's a casting call for all doug's yeah amy how much of a follower are you of uh i assume
doug knows nothing about her how much do you know about ariana grande um a medium amount
yeah you hear about stuff that's going on with her every once in a while right all right yeah her tour manager and best friend is 25 years old and his name is doug middlebrook
yeah yeah i thought that was a real good one if we could get that guy
uh to come on because i'm a fan i think she's very talented. She's so talented. The fact that he's 25 and somehow she trusts him and he runs her stuff,
her tour, that's pretty incredible.
She's awesome at that age.
She's acting now, right?
She should.
She does spot-on impressions.
Yeah, singing impressions.
Like singing ones and talking.
She can do – her Jennifer Lawrence is crazy good.
Yeah.
She is so talented.
And, you know, her pop songs are just the tip of the iceberg
because that part – I want more of the iceberg.
I don't like the tip.
I don't like her songs, really.
I don't find them...
I shouldn't...
I'm talking too much shit.
We want to get her...
Well, no.
I mean, they're not for you either,
so it's fine.
But, you know, I love her songs.
Yeah.
No, I just think she's crazy talented,
so whenever she sings a song I know,
I love it.
I feel like I just saw her acting something and I was like, holy cow, she's so good. Like, she's crazy talented. So whenever she sings a song, I know I love it. But, um, I feel like I just saw her acting something and I was like,
Holy cow.
She's so good.
Like she's really,
really good.
I can't think of one.
I think she,
I think she'd be quite good at it.
And,
and speaking of,
uh,
acting and filmmaking,
uh,
there's a great director who I,
uh,
I'm a big fan of,
but hasn't become,
I don't think he's known as a great director because you know,
his name is Doug.
Uh,
his name is Doug Lyman.
Yeah.
And I've been a fan ever since,
uh,
he directed swingers and then go.
And then tomorrow,
right?
He did edge of tomorrow,
Mr.
And Mrs.
Smith,
uh,
the, the first, uh, born movie and Mrs. Smith, the first Bourne movie.
Wow.
I think the first one.
But the guy, I think he's only made like one movie that I was like, eh, whatever.
One of my favorite directors, enjoy him a lot.
A few weeks ago, you know, of course, I'm thinking about Doug's and Doug's book on the show.
I just noticed that he's following me on Twitter.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah.
So I wrote him a direct message.
Haven't heard a word.
Come on, Doug.
Wait, which Doug are you talking to?
All the Dougs.
Come on, Dougs.
Just get it together, all Dougs.
all the ducks come on
ducks
just get it together
all ducks
well this has been
a really
really helpful start
I think
I hope everybody
that's listened
enjoys what we've been
talking about
and where this is going
there's
you know
so much more to come
in the wide world
of ducks
subscribe
wherever you get
your podcasts.
You know, the Spotify or the, you know, there's a bunch of them.
Apple.
Podcast Addict.
Google Play.
Stitcher.
Yeah, Stitcher is a good one.
Yeah, there's a whole bunch of places now.
And apparently we don't care anymore which one you listen just as long as you listen.
That's the main thing.
Anything you'd like to plug, Amy Miller?
And thank you again for being the first to come out here and freely and openly talk about your Doug experiences.
I'm so flattered.
Nothing to plug.
I just love Doug's. I'm so flattered. Nothing to plug. I just love dogs.
I love you guys.
I got to go follow this pug right away.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Clear out a couple hours of my day.
It's pretty cute.
Yeah, I bet you that dog already has like hundreds of pictures to sort through.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I don't know what I'm doing on my Instagram,
but man,
when I go to that page where it's just like,
you know,
just random shit to look through,
they really,
they really throw a lot of dogs my way.
Yeah.
I guess I just post enough about dogs that they figured out that I wouldn't
mind some,
some doggy pictures doug loves dogs must love doug's and dogs and um doug mallard fart safari 3 is coming
out soon yeah amy was at one of the recordings so it was very nice of you to come by oh yeah is
that the one that's coming out now yeah
it's uh quarantine kind of threw it off a little bit yeah yeah you were very funny as always
yeah we need a um we need a closing line doug we never really discussed like how we can
jump out of this thing at the end.
I feel like we had something and then you say something and I yell on wide world of dogs.
Oh really?
Did I make that up?
No,
that sounds good.
Yeah.
I don't remember the beginning part.
A different duck pun every time.
How many you can come up with.
That also sound like a closing line.
Yeah.
Like another Doug day afternoon.
All right.
Well,
that's the first one then I'll say it.
Get ready to play the theme,
Ryan.
Thank you,
Amy.
Thank you,
Doug.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thanks, Amy. Thank you, Doug. Thank you. Thank you.
Thanks, Amy.
It's been a Doug Day afternoon.
Got it.