Doug Loves Movies - Zach Galifianakis, Dustin Ybarra, and Scott Aukerman Guest
Episode Date: June 17, 2014Doug welcomes comedians Zach Galifianakis, Dustin Ybarra, and Scott Aukerman to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/pri...vacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats with 50-azit poppers curdled in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies!
Hey everybody!
My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
That one almost sounded like you guys
were in another room or something.
Had a really strange effect to it.
Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles
on June 17, 2014.
Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2.
Judgment Day.
They've been walking to all the president's bed
in Blackfisher King Ralph
the Dog Day Afternoon Delight
Sleeper Thick Murder
My Death Wish 3
I got a little bit of a cough so I'm going to have
trouble getting through this one.
What did I leave off?
A Me Ghost World's End
Emo
A Me Ghost World's End
of watch.
There you go.
Thanks.
Philadelphia, this Thursday,
as part of Awesome Fest,
I'm doing a Benson movie interruption
of Revenge of the Nerds
with cast members.
Yeah, Booger's gonna be there.
Toshiro's gonna be there.
And another surprise guest.
And Los Angeles, this
Sunday, we're doing a special Doug Loves Movies taping.
It's already almost sold out at Meltdown
Comics at 420.
And Monday night, it's happening again.
Getting Doug with High live at Largo.
Five great guests
getting high with me on stage
for your amusement.
DougLovesMovies.com for links to all
of these events and for more fun stuff that
i'll be doing all summer long including the taping of my next stand-up special at the neptune theater
in seattle on friday august 22nd two shows tickets on sale friday friday get your tickets on friday
somebody i just noticed this has been taped this has been like pinned to a bulletin board
backstage here at UCB for God knows how long.
Hopefully it's dated, but it's a letter from somebody.
And I've never, I don't get mail here very often.
So I got so excited about it.
I'm like, I'm just going to open it on stage
and see what happens.
Oh, it's full of Ryzen.
Wow. This is...
Oh, okay. He just included a post-it
and a self-addressed staff envelope. All I gotta do
is sign the post-it,
put it in the envelope, and send it back.
Yeah, it's very cute.
But he wrote this long thing. A legend
goes that a young girl in Japan... Okay, that's enough.
I'll sign it and send it back.
Let's look at the prize bag, you guys.
Here it is.
It's not coming out until July 8th,
but in the prize bag, fresh off the presses,
a copy of Gateway Doug 2.
Forced fun.
And it's just a coincidence.
People have been bugging me on Twitter
all day about it. It's just a coincidence
that Weird Al
Yankovic has a record coming out the following
week called Mandatory Fun.
We didn't discuss it with each other.
Oh, wait, there's two copies
in here. Okay, you'll get two copies.
I thought I put an old Gateway Doug in there.
Yeah, I did. There it is.
And the idea is that if you take these two CDs
and you alternate track one, track one, track two, track two,
as you go through, it's a true sequel,
and the whole thing should sound like one really long set.
Yeah.
I guess you could do that with any two comedy albums. sound like one really long set. Yeah.
I guess you could do that with any two comedy albums.
But then the subject would get changed a lot more often.
From our friends at Humboldt Hempwick,
we got a nice little jar with some Hempwick on there.
From Chameleon Glass, we've got a camouflage hat that you guys, you can't see it right now,
but it's camouflage
color. A poke bowl gave me this giant poke bowl. That's a, that's a different version. It's called
the packing show, whatever that means, whatever that does. We've got some hot dogs, pops, hot
dogs, two of those and a Douglas movies t-shirt. And who knows what the guests tonight brought
because one of them wasn't here yet
and the other two did not give me anything
to put in the bag.
So we'll see how that shakes out
when we all give a big warm welcome
to returning game winner Scott Aukerman
and Dustin Ibarra and Zach Galifianakis. You can pick up your microphones.
Oh, man. That's Dusty Barr, microphones. Oh, man.
That's Dustin Ibarra, everybody.
First to speak.
Is that the game you were playing, Scott?
You didn't want to be the first to speak?
Don't want it.
Don't want the responsibility.
All right.
Dustin's been on the show before in Dallas, Texas,
but this is your first time here.
Yeah, at UCB.
This is crazy, yeah.
Very excited.
We'll see what happens, fellas.
There's ladies here, Yeah, at UCB, this is crazy, yeah. Very excited. We'll see what happens, fellas. There's ladies
here, too, today.
And then, of course, Scott Aukerman is
here. He won last week.
And the week before.
Yeah, you're on a tear.
He wins every week. How do
you feel, Dustin, about going against somebody that's such
a strong player?
Doug doesn't tell you who the guests are, so it was gonna be like someone like me yeah but instead
it's famous people so this is kind of you are being very generous dude you're so you're in hop
yeah you're in 21 and over you're doing some shit you're. No one believes it.
He's the voice of the rabbit in Hop.
He does the Russell Brand impression. Yeah, I was like,
hey, I'm a bunny rabbit, man.
I'm a bunny rabbit.
There's some weird dialogue in that movie.
It was pretty crazy.
It got deep, you know?
Good writers.
It was a weird-ass movie.
And Zach Galifianakis is here.
Losing weight.
Are you preparing for The Machinist Part 2?
More machines.
Is this another one of those episodes
where you're going to try to not talk the whole time?
You're doing it.
So far, so good.
Come on, Zach.
Give him a little bit
of that patented
Zach Galifianakis humor.
Hit him.
Hit him, buddy.
Hi, everyone.
Gotta really ease into it.
Yes.
It's been a while
since you've podcasted.
Yes, I love podcasting.
Not as much as you love just when I do a live show that's not going to be recorded.
Those are your favorites, I think.
Do you ever do a show that's not recorded these days?
Yeah, yeah.
When we interrupt a movie, we're not recording that.
Okay, good.
This is recorded, though, right?
And what channel is it on?
What will it be on?
It's on the iTunes channel starting tomorrow.
Do you have something you want to plug that's really time sensitive?
Yeah, I need to get a couple plugs in before tomorrow.
What do you got going at 11.39 tonight?
What have you been up to, Zach?
What's going on?
Are you just hanging out?
Just hanging out.
Your first Father's Day as a father just happened?
Was that fun?
Yeah.
People will applaud you just for having kids.
It's a pretty heroic thing to do.
You fathered some dick babies before.
Sperm.
Oh, you're talking to me?
Yeah.
I thought you were casting aspersions on all his other babies.
Your babies are dicks.
Did you bring something for the prize bag, Zach?
Yes, I did, but it's...
I forgot, so I had something...
Is it this table?
I had something.
I had...
It's a wad of foreign money.
Oh, look at that.
A whole plastic cup full of it.
But don't say which foreign, which country it is.
Okay.
Because it might, I don't want people to get their hopes up.
Do you know what kwacha are?
Anybody ever been to Malawi?
All right, that's going in the bag.
What did you bring, Dustin?
I brought these VHS tapes.
I remember my mom,
she was really fat growing up,
and they had this, like,
Richard Simmons dance your pants off,
and when I saw it, I was like,
oh, my God, I remember that growing up.
So, you know, you guys are in L.A.,
you're into fitness, so there you go. And also, oh, my God, I remember that growing up. So, you know, you guys are in L.A., you're into fitness, so there you go.
And also, oh, my God,
Batman Forever was there, too.
How great is that?
This is the first movie I saw as a kid,
and I was like, I think this is a bad movie.
Because up to that, everything was kind of like,
okay, yeah, but that was like,
something is missing.
I don't, and I was like 12, but that was like something is missing i don't and
i was like 12 but i was like i don't something fuck man so yeah and you know thank you you're
older when batman and robin came around you could really handle it by then yeah that there's shitty
movies oh fuck you're right this is i meant batman and robin okay this one was actually pretty decent
that's what i meant batman come on that. Come on, that was Jim Carrey.
You could not hate Jim Carrey
as a 12-year-old.
Come on, man.
It's fucking great.
I can't hate him now.
What is this thing you have here?
Oh, I found this.
This is quite an old device.
You hipsters are gonna fucking love it.
You guys are into record players and shit?
This one is like $3.
It's a VCR.
I don't know if you've ever seen one.
You just bought this one for $3?
Yeah, no, I take it back.
$8.99.
I was trying to be funny, but yeah.
Man, yeah, dude.
It was in Pacoima, too,
so there might be a bunch of cocaine in it.
So, fuck, there you go.
To be funny, you always take the price
and then subtract $6.
Yes.
That's comedy, man.
And so congratulations, someone,
having to carry this around for the rest of the night.
But it feels like a PS3, but it's not.
And if you take these two VHS tapes
and you watch
scene by scene through both tapes,
it will seem like one really long movie
that has exercise breaks
in it. And Scott
Aukerman, what did you bring us?
I brought a Graham Parker in the Room
or Three Chords Good button, given
to me by Graham Parker himself,
and
a press kit for the movie Obvious Child
starring Jenny Slade.
Out in theaters now, you can
learn the name of every single background
player.
They list the background players? By scene.
Every single one
is in this press kit. It takes up two whole
pages. So yeah.
Memorize it.
Obvious Child, a sponsor of this program. So go see it, you guys. And I'm not just saying that because of that. Memorize it. Obvious Child, a sponsor of this program.
So go see it, you guys. And I'm not just
saying that because of that. I also liked it.
Also, these were the two things in my car.
Well now your car's not going to get broken into.
Because all the gold is
in this bag.
Jordan, guard this.
Have you guys been
to the movies lately?
I saw Boy...
I saw it in the audience. Yes!
People love going to movies.
You run into them everywhere you go.
I saw Boyhood.
You did? Yes. Yesterday?
Sunday. Oh, okay.
Yeah. On Father's Day.
Yeah.
It's sad?
No, no, it's not actually.
Well, I mean, some of it's sad.
But it's a really interesting idea.
Richard Linklater filmed this one kid for a little while each year for like a decade.
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't get that part of it at all.
You saw it.
I didn't.
You were just looking at Ethan Hawke the whole time.
Hello.
Why is he getting one year older in each scene?
But did you like it?
Yeah, I liked it a lot, actually.
Patricia Arquette is fantastic in it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, she's really, really good.
Was she at the screening doing Q&A and stuff?
It wasn't a screening.
Actually, I got a weird link in my computer,
and I hooked up my computer to my TV.
Yeah. Good story,
but there's more.
All of a sudden
an intruder came.
Zach, what do you got?
Zach!
Have you been to the movies? Have you had time to see a movie?
I think the last
movie I saw was... You know that
microphone that you're used to talking into
in stand up
even in stand up he tends to disregard the microphone
a lot
I think the last movie I saw
was when we made fun of one of those
movies
that we do
I don't know I can't remember
I got mad at it
let's start at the beginning
there's the train coming at everyone.
Was it that?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
That's a good one to make fun of.
The train going into the station.
Dustin, have you been to the movies?
No, I haven't been in a long time, man.
What's going on?
You just too busy shopping for VCRs?
Pretty much, dude.
Do they have movies in Pacoima?
No, you got to make it up in your mind.
Your buddy tells you kind of the plot,
and you're like, oh, okay, I can see it.
Liam Neeson on a plane, you know?
That one is a tough one to imagine.
Yeah, oh, man.
Taken on a plane.
Yeah, dude, I don't know, man.
I watch a lot of Netflix.
I watch a lot of documentaries
Those qualify as movies
What's the last thing you saw?
Something about food, you know?
That's the name of the movie?
The sequel to Something About Mary?
No
Yeah, Cameron Diaz was in it
No, it was like this thing about food
And there was like organic shit
And you like had to
You know, food's bad for you guys
So you gotta switch to a different food And bad for you guys so you got to switch to a
different food and so i watched those and i feel a little bit seems like you learned a lot about
which yeah you know you gotta get organic and you gotta like not like cows with steroids you
gotta watch out for those motherfuckers because they're gonna make you cancerous or something
so i do good for like a week and then i'm done let's go to Scott for another movie I saw the
the
X-Men
the dread sexual
documentary
come on Doug
what?
at least I didn't call it
that other word
they don't like
fight
what is it?
fight someone?
X-Men
fight someone oh Days of Future Past? oh that's what it was yeah yeah it's Days of Future Past Fight, what is it? Fight someone? X-Men, Fight Someone.
Oh, Days of Future Past?
Oh, that's what it was.
Yeah, yeah.
It's Days of Future Past.
It sounds like a, you know, like a Merchant Ivory movie or something, but it's X-Men.
Days of Future Past.
Yeah.
But you like that one?
I don't remember.
It was fine.
Yeah, it was good.
The Quicksilver scene is pretty sweet.
Oh, yeah, that was a really good scene.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Could have ended right there.
I would have been like, hey, good movie.
Ended in a weird place.
Did the bad guys team up with the good guys?
Oh, man.
There were all sorts of teams.
Oh, I love that shit, man.
Ugh.
Shouldn't they just make you happy whenever the bad guys team up with the good guys to
take out some other motherfucker?
It's the best.
It's almost like this panel right now.
Yeah.
I'll be honest.
I feel like that guy that accidentally
got invited to the party,
you know?
I think he booked the other guest after he
booked me. I was like, oh,
fuck. Maybe we should get the dude from Mad Men
to come over instead.
Let's be honest. This is a weird
fucking moment, man. John Hamm,
I've got this kid Dustin on the show tonight.
Can you please come over and replace him?
Yeah.
I consider you and Zach to be the bad guys of comedy.
You know?
Yeah, that's solely mine.
Yeah.
It's like, Dustin, you're like an upside down him.
If you saw my pubes, yeah can see if I saw them this is the part of the
show I say let the games begin
you know how this works back everyone's gonna not everyone but much people are
gonna hold up name tags that they fashioned on their computers
or sometimes with just merely putting a post-it note on something.
And you get to go out and pick who you'd like to play for today.
So if each of you could just stand up.
Just go ahead and get it.
Go get it.
Yeah, just go get who you want to play for.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
And we're back. Who are you playing for,
Scott Aukerman? I'm playing for, I believe
his name is Jeff, because he
pasted his,
I hope it's his picture,
onto a movie poster, and it's
Jeff who doesn't live at home.
So, good on you,
Jeff. Where do you live?
In an apartment that is not home
with my parents
so it's just the feeling of home
is not
he doesn't live at home he lives at an apartment
that is his parents home
who are you playing for Dustin?
I am playing for Silver Lina's Playbook
that's how I say it, right?
All right, yeah.
You know, Mexico in the World Cup.
My dad's Mexican.
I was like, that's a Spanish word.
Let's fucking do it.
I like your process.
Yeah.
And Zach is playing for...
Anna.
Anna, how do you say your last...
What are you doing?
Just making a vine.
See, it shows all the contestants and all the name tags.
And then people write to me on Twitter,
what are you doing when I post it?
Oh, good.
I'm so glad to be a part of that.
Zach, is that your first vine?
Anna, how do you say your name?
Caragolos.
Caragolos.
Caragolos.
She sounds so bored with that question.
Caragolos. Hello,olos. She sounds so bored with that question. Caragolos!
Hello, everyone! Please stop asking me that!
What kind of... Is it Greek?
Yeah. And that's why
you chose it? She also sounded tired of that
question. Yeah!
Scott's the only one that didn't
use his heritage as a choosing reason.
That's true. Yeah.
The dude is very white. You're kind of like a Jeff, yeah.
It's not Hefe lives at home.
He's literally wearing
a Christmas sweater in his picture.
That's me all over.
And drinking a beer, I think.
Or a glass of wine, Jeff.
That's a cocktail.
He said it's a cocktail.
And also, how did Jeff get a microphone?
I know, he sounds like a morning DJ.
That's a cocktail.
It's booger stash in the morning.
News on the sixes.
He doesn't have boogers in his mustache.
He has a lot of boogers stored somewhere.
You get to...
All three of you get to play a game
to determine who goes first in the Leonard Maltin game today.
And it's called...
You guys want to do some fucking lines?
Doing lines with Mark.
Fucking do this shit.
Fucking do this shit.
Get up, dude.
Get the fuck up when I high-five you.
I didn't mean to bring more pressure on you, Dustin,
by bringing out yet another
movie star.
Come on, feel it, feel it.
Let's fucking do this. I like this.
I got room to fucking dance.
Have you ever met Zach before, Mark?
How you doing, man? Good to see you. Hey, Mark, how are you?
Dude, I loved you in that movie. Thank you very much.
That I turned down.
Oh, here we go.
Mark, please be nice to my guests.
And tell us a line.
You guys want to do some fucking lines?
He's going to say a line from a motion picture.
And then the first person to yell out the name of the motion picture will be the winner of this game.
Do you have to yell or can you just say it?
You can just say it into your microphone.
Go ahead, Mark.
Let me get on the character.
Oh, Pulp Fiction, Pulp Fiction.
Look good, feel good, look good, feel good.
Whoa.
Here's the deal, man.
I got a dark side.
There's a demon inside of me. Whoa. Here's the deal, man. I got a dark side. There's a demon inside of me.
Whoa!
Here's the deal, man.
Okay, so the line has started over.
I got a dark side.
There's a demon inside me.
That would be a good vine, because it's only 17.
Whoa!
Here's the deal, man.
I got a dark side.
There's a demon inside of me alright so
you want me to do another one?
no just tell us what it's from
no same movie
I'm gonna do another fucking line
okay another line from the same movie
this ain't Donnie
I know shit
here we go ready?
unless the line has the word
shagadelic in it
I don't know the movie or the name Chewbacca here we go, ready? Unless the line has the word shagadelic in it, I don't know the movie.
Or the name Chewbacca.
Here we go, ready?
When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.
Hangover something.
Two.
I thought that first one sounded familiar.
The first one sounded familiar.
Is that correct, Hangover 2?
That is correct.
Thanks for doing the line.
Were they both from Hangover 2? They were both from Hangover 2? That is correct. Thanks for doing a line. Were they both from Hangover 2?
They were both from Hangover 2.
Oh, okay. Nice.
That line, the one before was actually said to him.
Okay, that's enough. All right, thank you.
Thanks.
One of those lines was said to you.
Yeah, well...
That's probably why you didn't recognize it.
It sounded familiar.
You didn't have to learn that line.
You just heard it a couple times.
All right.
Zach, do you ever stand in
when the camera is behind you?
Or do you actually stand there
in scenes with other people?
No, I don't do that.
Okay, good.
What does your stand-in look like?
Does he have the same back of the head as you?
It's Jodie Foster's guy.
So you and Jodie have to alternate working
when she's taking a break, you do a movie.
We have the same body type.
All right, Zach, that means you get to go first
in the Leonard Maltin game.
Okay.
And then we'll go to Dustin and then to Scott.
And Scott is defending his title
for the third week in a row.
Please let me lose.
I'm so tired of coming back here every week.
I know. It's like the old days
when you had a show here every Tuesday.
Every Tuesday.
But the next show here is in three weeks.
So you get a nice break if you win today.
Okay.
And basically what I'm saying is
you're going to get a nice break when you win today.
You don't have to come back for three weeks
But I don't want to put extra pressure on these guys
I want Zach to win because I want Zach to do every single show
I don't think that's going to happen
Alright get in this motherfucker
At Sherlock underscore
Holmes suggested
Harvey Cartel
And that's movies where Harvey Cartel
Does drugs
Or Drew Robbs R.O.B.Z. suggested Nikki Six Harvey Cartel, and that's movies where Harvey Keitel does drugs.
Or, Drew Robb's R.O.B.Z. suggested Nikki Sixx,
and that's Nicolas Cage movies from 86, 96, or 06.
And then, sadly, may he rest in peace,
we just recently lost Casey Kasem,
the voice of America's top 40,
until Seacrest kicked him out.
So the films of Casey Kasem.
He's been in some films.
He's had a long, storied career.
Which one of those would you like to play, Zach?
The Harvey Keitel one, please. Okay.
Harvey Keitel.
He does drugs in this movie.
Two stars from Leonard Maltin.
It's from 1992.
He says about it that
this movie has a cameo by Jesus.
And he also says that this movie has
a substantial critical following.
But Leonard only gave it two stars, and he
lists six names.
How many names will it take for you
to discern the name of this movie, Zach?
Four.
He says
four, Dustin, so you can either ask
him to name it, or you can bid lower.
I'll do three, then.
Okay. Scott is going to do what I pretty much always expect.
What comes naturally?
Yeah, name it.
All right, Dustin, you get three names.
And they are Leonard Thomas.
El Tom.
Paul Calderon.
Pico.
And Victor Argo,
fuck yourself.
That's just Victor Argo.
What's the name of the movie, Dustin?
Bad Detective.
Are you fucking serious?
Zach gets the point. It's called Bad Lieutenant.
No, come on, man.
Don't you know that I went Bad Lieutenant, man?
What other bad cop job is there?
You know how I feel about ranks.
Bro, do not do this to me.
I watched that movie just to see a scene
where a chick was naked.
Please.
We gonna fight out here or what?
Nah.
We gonna fucking fight? Oh, what? You got a fight?
Oh shit, Mark is here to
thank you, but no, we're doing good.
I had to watch Harvey Keitel
jack off in that movie, man.
He plays with his dick, that's a true thing
in that movie.
That was 92?
Says the guy with the mic in the audience.
And another clue I almost said
was that this is the first movie that offers
full frontal Keitel.
Leonard says that in the review.
But I think he was also full frontal in the piano
merely a few years later.
And that one with Kate Winslet.
Whatever that was called.
Okay, so sorry about that, Dustin.
But you know, you're competitive.
You still win this. Everyone knows what's up, so that's cool. Don, but you know, you're competitive. You still win this.
Everyone knows what's up, so that's cool.
Don't I get the point?
Huh?
Oh, yeah, you do.
But Zach was so excited when Dustin said it wrong
that I got excited for Zach
and thought he had a point.
You know what?
I'm going to give you half a point for that.
I hate to split hairs, but I'd love a point for that.
I'm going to go ahead and give you one.
You're welcome.
So you guys are getting two points and I get nothing?
No, Scott has one and you are tied with Zach with zero.
Was there any other information about Jesus being in that movie?
Or are you just going to blow over that?
According to Leonard, do you remember?
According to Leonard, there's a cameo by Jesus.
I think he has a vision or something at some point when he's fucked up on drugs.
But SAG rules
I don't think you can relate.
Yeah, like what
what does he build as?
Yeah.
I don't have any
further information on that.
Did he have to take
a middle initial
like Michael J. Fox
or Jesus H. Christ?
I think that's where
that came from.
And his middle name of course is Hockey Sticks.
Alright,
so Zach gets to pick again
and then we go to
Scott. And so Dustin, get ready
because it's going to come to you eventually.
But Zach, would you like
Gerard Depardot?
And that's
Gerard Depardot movies that Leonard gave two stars or less.
Or, at Comedy Film Guy suggested Duck Soup.
Or I should say Duck Soup.
And that's movies where there's a food fight.
And your third option is Hoosier Daddy.
You know, Hoosier, as in know, Hoosier as in Indiana.
The Hoosiers. Daddy.
And of course, that's movies that
have incest in them.
Hoosier as in Indiana?
Yeah, can't it just
be about dads from Indiana?
I was just in Indiana recently.
Somebody suggested this.
That's the twist. It turns out it's about incest.
Documentaries?
That'd be weird.
How many cast members
from this documentary
in Inconvenient Truth, I can name it negative one!
What do you think, Zach?
Which one of those do you want to play?
Food fight, incest, or
dip or don't? Food fight.
Alright. This movie's got a
food fight in it. It's from
1965.
None of you were born yet.
Two and a half stars.
Leonard calls this movie long,
sometimes funny, and often labored
And
He also says that it has
One good song in it called
The Sweetheart Tree
Oh that's helpful
Oh the sweetheart tree
Is bearing fruit
Sit underneath it
And
Then you toot How did I know you were going and then you toot.
How did I know you were going to go with toot?
I don't know.
Leonard lists 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 names.
How many names can you get in out of 11, Zach?
God, nine.
Nine?
Zach is always a bold bidder.
What are you going to do with that Scott?
I'll go with 8
Yeah call it
I'll call him out
Do you want him to name that movie?
Yes name that movie sir
Young man
How did I get here?
Alright so You get eight names.
And this is for the win if you get this.
And your eight names are
George McCready,
Ross Martin,
Vivian Vance,
Arthur O'Connell,
the guy with the knowing laugh over there,
Dorothy Provine.
Larry Storch.
Keenan Wynn.
And Peter Falk.
The great glass-eyed Peter Falk.
Does he talk about his glass eye in this film at all?
I don't think he ever talked about it in a movie.
Because he played characters who didn't have a glass eye.
That's a fact?
That's movie trivia?
I think so.
Every one of his characters had two real eyes.
I don't remember him ever saying anything
about one of them being fake.
Would have been interesting to talk to him about that.
Too bad he's gone.
Is he?
Are I possible?
Yes. He's dead. Is he? Are I possible? Yes.
He's dead.
He's dead?
Yeah.
All I have, and this is wrong, is it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world.
It's a very good guess, because it's a very similar premise.
It's about a very long race in cars, and it stars Jack Lemmon,
Natalie Wood, and Tony Curtis. It's called
The Great Race. Dustin, you're on the board. You have
a point.
Nice.
It feels good, man.
Zach gets to pick again, though.
Who's it go to then?
Who's it go to after that?
Then it's going to go to Dustin.
It goes back to Zach, then Zach will take another question.
No, then we're going to go to Dustin from Zach.
And Zach, your options are...
Oh, wait a second.
Your option is to do a fucking line.
Did you know your name used to be Carlos?
It suits you better.
Did you know your name used to be Carlos? It suits you better. Did you know your name used to be Carlos?
It suits you better.
Who are you talking to?
Oh, that's the line.
That is the fucking line.
Hangover 3?
It is fucking Hangover 3.
I don't remember which one it was.
You don't remember which one it was?
Who said that?
Alan.
In the movie.
Alan? Whoever played Alan? In the movie. Alan.
Whoever played Alan.
Oh, okay.
That was me.
That was me.
He's gone.
He just comes running in and out.
Because he always has to go check on Donnie.
You sleeping okay, Donnie?
I'm going to keep you here, Donnie? Put the TV on, Donnie!
I'm sleeping fine and I'm paying for gas
to sleep in my car!
Yeah, he makes Donnie
sit in the car.
Alright.
You get to choose, Zach,
between celebrating your birthday day
and Will Forte, the lovely Will Forte.
Past and future guests on this show.
Hopefully future.
Movies of Will Forte.
He's been on the show.
I know, but past and future.
He might be on it again.
Just makes me laugh.
The big C is another category.
And that, of course, is movies that begin with the letter C.
Like Kang over three.
And Ship Shape Sean suggested, I never saw the first one.
And that's movies that have a number in the title, but it's not part of a series.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Which one of those strikes you fancy? I like that third one.
You like that?
Yeah.
Okay.
This movie is from 1979.
Is that the title?
How do you do it?
No.
Incorrect.
Two and a half stars from my nerd for this movie from 1979.
He calls this movie Gargantuan.
movie Gargantuan.
And he also says that
26 minutes
of extra footage were added for the network
TV and laser disc editions.
And he lists
a lot of names.
17 names, I think?
I can do it in 21.
17. You want 20? 21 names. 17. I can do it in 21 17 17
You want 20?
21 names
17
12
I'll tell you Zach
You always do an interesting opening bid
Thank you Doug
That's quite kind of you
Dustin
I'm gonna say name that movie.
You are?
Yeah, I don't have...
Scott's wish may be coming true.
Of what?
Of not having to come back
in three weeks.
But we'll see what I wish for.
Shit.
I wasted it.
You really wasted your wish
could have really got something good
instead you don't have to come back
on this show again
but Zach gets how many names?
17? 12
12?
okay you get 12 names
do you want the clues again?
I think I got them
say it again
it's gargantuan
and they added 26 minutes of Do you want the clues again? I think I got them. Okay. Say it again. Gargantuan.
It's Gargantuan?
No, but the... And they added 26 minutes of stuff for TV.
No, forget that.
The number part.
It's not sequels, but has numbers in it.
Oh, yeah.
It's not a sequel.
The title has a number in it.
Right, but it's not just the title, meaning the number...
Jesus fucking Christ.
It's a legitimate question.
Yes.
But the floor is closed for questions.
You just have to hear the names now and then guess.
Okay.
Because I understand your question, but that's like an extra clue if I answer it.
Okay.
It's got a number in the title.
Sure.
Could be the whole title, could be a word in the title.
That answers my question.
Yeah.
John Candy was in this movie.
Eddie Deason.
Slim Pickens.
Lorraine Gary.
Murray Hamilton.
Diane Kay.
Of course, we all remember from Eight is Enough,
Bobby DiCicco, Warren Oates, Christopher Lee, Toshiro Mifune, Tim Matheson, and Robert Stack.
Can you name the names again
between Robert Stack and John Candy?
Was Warren Oates the band that John Oates was in
before Hall & Oates?
Yeah.
Hall & Oates, which would be a great name
for an oatmeal delivery
company you really want all those names again no um all those people were in it and it was
gargantuan to make room for all those. Just think of a movie that's got a number
in it.
Just think of the numbers, Zach. For instance,
there's one.
This was in
1979.
You got two.
Would you
please put some pants on?
I feel weird having to ask you twice.
What's wrong with you, Mark?
I'm buying time, bro.
I'm answering the question.
1946 or 1945?
What horrible timing.
Were you just waiting for it to get kind of quiet?
1946 or 1945?
Let's go, Donnie.
Shh, please.
Donnie.
I'm sorry, Mark, but he was trying to answer it.
What do you think it is?
Toshiro Mifune?
1942.
Look at you.
I think I made it, right?
Look at Dustin.
I made it.
You did it.
You're our winner.
The movie's called 1941.
Oh!
Bad detective!
Bad detective!
Oh!
Bad detective!
Bad detective!
Dustin, you did it.
Man, dude, I'm like fucking Team Mexico, you know?
We might be run by cartels, but we're good at soccer and shit.
Congratulations.
Maybe we'll possibly see you here in three weeks.
Yeah, fine.
Like I have shit to do? Don't act no i'm just kidding yeah wait which part were you kidding about i think this guy's got shit to do don't i have no shit
to do okay mark are you still here do you want to do that whatever it was you're trying to do
mark what's that what's that you could do it that, whatever it was you were trying to do? What's that? What's that?
You could do it now.
What's that?
Whatever you were, when you walked in, just now.
I was trying to buy my buddy some time here.
Oh, that's what you were doing?
Yeah, bro.
He said 19-fuh, and then you interrupted.
I thought he was going to get it.
Yeah, he should have thought a little longer.
I'm just saying, bro.
Thanks, bro.
Please put some pants back on. I said Toshiro Mufuni again.
I feel bad having to ask you twice.
Say it again?
Please put some pants back on.
Hangover 1.
It is fucking Hangover 1.
I'm just trying to go through movies
that would have been better with me in them.
That's all I'm fucking doing right now.
Hey, good times.
I wish you were in the Transformers trilogy.
What's that? You waited too long to jump
on the Transformers trilogy. I have a way to fucking see it.
I'd kill that fucking movie.
Want something else? Not a real gun.
Hey, Zach, are they ever going to make a sequel
to G-Force? Like, H-Force?
Yeah, we're working on it, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been in the works for a few years, yeah.
Yeah, working in the lab on that?
Yeah, the message boards are lighting up about it.
What else can gerbils do other than fist bump?
That's about it, yeah.
You've seen the movie, yeah.
Scott.
I didn't see it.
I'm going to check it out sometime.
Oh, it's good. You should see it. I'm going to check it out sometime.
Oh, it's good.
You should see it.
What's the new dance craze that they could do?
I think at the time it was probably the Macarena was around.
Probably.
Yeah.
What's out now?
What's the best?
Does anyone know a dance that's popular now?
Twerking.
Who said that?
You guys are like,
you saw that on the internet, fool.
What's happening right now?
Do you think we need to stretch or something?
That's funny.
As far as I'm concerned,
you have three minutes to go.
Yeah.
Don't you have any plugs?
Yeah.
What do you got to plug, Scott?
Comedy Bang Bang TV show this Thursday
thank you
IFC 1030 Thursday we have Lizzie
Kaplan and Paul Scheer
on the show the week after we have
Tony Hawk and Ben Schwartz
which is a great pairing
strangely enough it's really funny
they really hit it off yeah it's a
really funny show that's awesome yeah yeah it's a really funny show
that's awesome uh yeah and uh that's that's all i got all right and uh what do you got coming up
to elton gazir's uh jeff at home have a shit hit on the back and what do you got uh coming up here
dustin i will be here again in three weeks okay um battle creek on cbs that's gonna be a great
show it's like the Vince Gilligan
from Breaking Bad.
I play this drug dude.
Who would have thought, man?
Why did you just get
the drug dudes
from Breaking Bad?
Because, man,
they've been used, man.
I'm like fresh new drug dude.
This is a drug dude
you haven't seen before.
But you were joking around
about how not busy you are
and you're in the next series
from Vince Gilligan.
Yes, I told you I'm on the 18th, though.
Oh, that's forever from now.
Oh, I understand.
Okay.
Probably going to die before then, so I don't know.
All right, well, we'll talk about it more on July 8th.
And Zach, anything to plug?
Opening up a new bubble tea restaurant.
Bubble tea restaurant?
Yeah, it's like a new craze.
It is? Yeah, it's sweeping the west coast.
Is it like tea
that you dip a thing in and blow
bubbles out of the tea? I don't really, I'm not
real sure of the concept. You don't know the concept?
No, I was just kind of, I just
like the title, just like the ring of bubble tea. You don't know the concept? No, I was just kind of, I just like the title, just like the
ring of bubble tea.
Do restaurants have titles now?
Yeah, this is called, well, it's just kind of
Do you mean the actual title, the deed?
Not the title to
the place, but just what the essence
of the business is.
So when people approach you with a
business prospectus, you ask, what's the essence?
Yeah, they said, it's bubble tea.
I said, where do I sign?
I did the same thing with my window tinting business, which is going really well.
But the bubble tea place is right on Sepulveda and Pico.
I know your window tinting place is really weird.
You would just do the rear view mirror.
That's where we specialize
the rear view mirror.
Next Tuesday,
there's no Douglas Movies here,
but you can come
and watch a very special
Douglas Movies taping
over at CineFamily,
followed by the West Coast premiere
of I Am Road Comic,
and cinefamily.org
is where you go for tickets.
Thanks again to all of my guests,
Scott Aukerman, Dustin Ibarra,
Zach Galifianakis,
and Leonis.
Come get your VCR
and your very heavy bag full of stuff.
And Zach's indicating he might want that money back.
No, no, no, no.
That's... Oh my God, no, no. That's congratulations.
Oh my God, he reached in and grabbed the money.
Even though he's saying on the mic he doesn't want it back.
I know, there's a perfectly good BCR there and you go for the money.
I'd be curious if you could let us know in a future date how much money that was, like
how much it was worth in our money.
I bet you it's not a lot.
It's from Epcot Center.
Enjoy your Disney dollars.
Thank you so much for bringing your name tags,
you guys. And as always,
Black Crystal
Wolf Kids is a
shithead.
Don't know what that means.
This one makes a little bit more sense.
My neighbor that keeps planting radishes in my yard
is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes it foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.