Doug Loves Movies - Zach Galifianakis Guests
Episode Date: February 4, 2007Doug welcomes comedian and actor Zach Galifianakis ('Comedians of Comedy,' the upcoming 'Into The Wild') to the show to talk about his work in such cinematic classics as 'Heartbreakers,' 'Bel...ow,' and 'Bubble Boy.'See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see cause Doug loves movies
Hello everybody!
It's February 5th, 2007
Or 007 as I like to call it
That was the theme song by
Hard and Firm I appreciate them coming up
with that for me and we're at the UCB
Theater in Los Angeles in front of an
awesome audience that came out
at an early hour
to be here some folks came in late
which I always encourage because I'd rather have you
here at all than
oh and the cell phones going off
I encourage that as well
you know that's the thing people get so, and the cell phone's going off. I encourage that as well.
You know, that's the thing.
People get so mad when a cell phone goes off in a movie or a play or whatever.
Especially if you're one of the actors on the stage.
In the play.
But it's
easy to forget to turn off your phone.
So you've got to give people a break.
When they answer it and talk,
that's when you want wanna fucking kick them in the
whatever they have down there
for more information about
UCB Theater go to UCBTheater.com
and I just
wanna say ask you guys a question
up top are any of you going
to see Catch and Release starring
Jennifer Garner and
Kevin Smith in a speaking role
only three or four of you good the rest of you can stay Jennifer Garner and Kevin Smith in a speaking role.
Only three or four of you?
Good.
The rest of you can stay.
I'd like to ask those people to leave at this time.
If it were possible to murder a movie,
I would kill, catch and release.
I've seen the trailer so many times.
I hate it so much
I might even rape it first.
And speaking of rape,
my guest today rapes people's funny bones
on a regular basis
in clubs and on television.
You know him from Comedians of Comedy,
and you can look for him as a homeless piece of shit
on the Sarah Silverman program.
Please welcome Zach Galifianakis, everybody.
Holy shit.
Zach, there he is.
Yes, costumes don't really fly on podcasts.
I just got back from an audition.
Were you auditioning for, what was...
Ice cream truck sales.
It says police on the hat. I know, it's the only hat I had in my trunk. Let's put it right there. Were you auditioning for... What was... Ice cream truck sales. Ice cream truck.
It says police on the hat.
I know.
It's the only hat I had in my trunk.
Let's put it right there.
Your trunk in the back of the theater.
Yeah.
You can pull the microphone out and hold it if you like,
because we need you to talk directly into it.
Or you can do that.
That's not awkward at all. This is a podcast?
Yeah.
Oh, great.
Glad I drove from Venice for this.
Venice, Italy?
Venice, Italy.
It's hard to catch a cab there.
They took a gondola, Doug.
A gondola?
It was a gondola.
Gondola.
Let's start.
A gondola confuses me because sometimes it's a boat and sometimes it's a dangly thing on a wire.
I don't understand how they can both be gondolas.
That's what the driver and I were talking about over here.
Really?
Yeah.
You were having the great gondola debate?
Yeah, yeah.
He used to work up at one of the ski resorts, which was weird.
And he got a job down here as a gondola guy.
It didn't make sense.
I say gondola.
You say gondola.
Let's call this
whole show off.
So,
current business,
you play
Fred Blorth
in an episode
of the Sarah Silverman
program
that airs soon
and I just have to say
I love the name
Fred Blorth.
That's a good name,
isn't it?
Isn't it great?
I love it.
It's almost as good
as Ned Schneebly which is my favorite fiction name from School of
Rock.
Alan Finger is another good one from Dog Bites Man.
Yeah, another great show.
Late great TV show.
Five and out!
Or was it more than that?
How many were there?
11, I think. 10 or 11. 11 i don't know i can't remember you're the guy that's a fan in the audience said seven seven he only likes seven oh okay
you weren't in some of them enough uh yeah my favorite one was the one where your character
alan finger um is just keeps talking about that so So Raven. Fucking hilarious.
So this is going to air on February 5.
And like Wayne pointed out last week, it's not really airing.
It's available for you to listen to.
And the Oscar nominations came out today, though, when we're recording this.
Did you hear the nominations?
Were you up at 5.35 a.m.?
I just got finished
jogging.
And you ran in and listened to the noms?
I was making egg whites.
Egg white omelets. No, I didn't hear
any. Who did...
Some of your closest friends
in the business. Oh, really? Yeah.
Malcolm Jamal Warner or something? Yes.
Yes, he got nominated
for Blood Diamond.
It was a,
he probably would have been
better than
Jimen Hunsu nomination.
That's what they're doing now
is they nominate people
who might have been
better in the role.
Oh, really?
Yeah, you really should have
paid attention
while you were making
your egg whites
to these crazy nominations
they came out with today.
No, it was, you know,
the Queen
and some other things. But if you didn't notice and don't care, we don't need to discuss it any further. No, it was, you know, The Queen and some other things.
But if you didn't notice
and don't care,
we don't need to discuss
it any further.
No, I'd like,
whatever,
did United 93
get nominated?
It got nominated
for Best Director
and Best Song.
The song's called
Morning After Two
And it was sung by that same lady
Maureen McGovern
Who sang the Oscar winning version for Poseidon Adventure
Here's the thing that cracked me up
Here's what cracked me up about the nominations today
Is that Poseidon is Academy Award
Nominated motion picture
It got nominated for effects
But even better, Clicks starring Adam Sandler Is an Academy Award nominated motion picture. It got nominated for effects. But even better, Click starring Adam Sandler
is an Academy Award nominated
movie because it got nominated for
Best Makeup.
Because I guess the characters get old at the end
and I guess it's well done.
I haven't seen it.
I changed the channel.
Because it's called Click. It's not even on TV
yet.
Anyway, I'm sure it's very click it's not even on tv yet how could i anyway i'm sure it's you know i'm sure it's very funny i was disappointed when i went and saw you 1993 uh i thought it was a pixar
film talking plane. Oh no, there are terrorists in me.
I wish there was something I could do.
I'm going to have to leave it to the crew
and the rest of the passengers.
So,
Zach, what...
Zachy G, what have you
seen lately
motion picture wise
In a theater
Or at home
Or on a plane
The last thing I saw
Last night
Was Children of Men
Saw that last night
Yeah
Did you hear last week's show
With Wayne Fetterman
I did
I heard it
That fucking anarchist
I heard it
Troublemaker
I loved the movie
I thought it was great
Yeah wasn't it?
It was really, really, really good. There we go.
That situation
has been rectified.
People have been sitting by their computer for a week
hoping my next guest
will have some sense.
But yeah, I just thought it was fantastic. Did you think it had
logic problems?
I didn't listen to your whole podcast
from last week, but just to reiterate your whole podcast from last week but just to
reiterate that it was done last week why does a movie have to have logic I mean
that's my no I didn't think it had any logic problems I thought that I thought
it was very subtle and the action was great I love Clive Owen and I thought it was very subtle, and the action was great. I love Clive Owen, and I thought it was really, really, really good.
I thought he was really good in that.
Easily his best work since Derailed.
But I did enjoy that movie very much.
Would you call that your number one movie of 2006?
Or would you go with Over the Hedge?
I don't like political movies.
You know what?
I might do that.
You may do that later when you're scribbling in your notebook.
Is it too late for me to call the Academy and give them my two cents, or how does that work?
How do they get nominated?
It's nominated for screenplay, and like four guys wrote that logical screenplay and it's nominated
for cinematography and one other thing maybe sound editing or something i don't know did
clive owen oh editing probably editing clive owen didn't get a best actor no no i think they dropped
the ball on it i think they released it like too late and just didn't get the right buzz going on it.
Because some of these movies, Little Miss Sunshine, they've been hyping that shit since summer.
And it just came in too late.
And I was worried that would be the case.
Because when I watched it, I was like, this should be nominated for Best Picture, for Clive Owen, for Best Song.
I keep saying Best Song. Like, that's going to pay off somehow.
But Best Song is like the silliest category.
Like there's two songs from Dreamgirls got nominated
and no songs from Happy Feet.
But that Melissa Etheridge is up for one.
I read that.
For Inconvenient Truth.
Yeah. She did. No, it's true. She wrote that. For Inconvenient Truth. Yeah.
She did.
No, it's true.
She wrote a song for Inconvenient Truth.
It's about her...
Vagina.
Vagina.
It's about how lesbians have global warming to...
It doesn't just affect the straights.
Anything you're looking forward to seeing
in a motion picture theater anytime soon?
Do you have one or two that are in the hopper, ready to go?
I'm going to check that out next.
Catch and release?
I auditioned for that, so yeah, I'll definitely see what that actor did. Catch and release? I auditioned for that So yeah I'll definitely see
What that actor did
Which part were you up for?
Catch or release?
I can't remember
What I auditioned for
But I was wearing
That same outfit
Probably the Kevin Smith role
Yeah I'm sure it was
Chubby
It was between him and Teller
And he got it
A. Teller or Teller?
No A. Teller
Just the guy that works
At the bank
Was Kevin Smith's Toughest competition Like he doesn't He doesn't He got it. A-Teller or Teller? No, A-Teller. Just the guy that works at the bank.
Was Kevin Smith's toughest competition.
He doesn't act well when he doesn't have any lines.
Why would they think giving him lines would help?
I've never seen him in a movie.
I've never seen anything that he's done.
You didn't see World Trade Center?
Was he in that? He played Nicolas Cage's partner.
He looked Hispanic in the movie
Because he's versatile
So anything at all you're going to see?
This is a tough memory test
Dreamgirls, you going to check out Dreamgirls?
No, I'm not going to see that
I mean, I am going to see it
I have a free pass to it
But I'm not eager to see it
But I will go see that
Do you try to catch all the acclaimed movies at the end of the year? I am going to see it. I have a free pass to it, but I'm not eager to see it. But I will go see that.
Do you try to catch all the acclaimed movies at the end of the year?
It gets hectic, doesn't it? I've seen the ones that I've seen are Babel.
Cracked himself up with the mispronunciation.
That's all that was.
Did you like that?
I did.
I liked it, yeah.
See, I haven't seen that yet.
That might creep into my top whatever if I see it.
I liked Little Miss Sunshine.
I liked...
What else?
What did you think of the ending of Little Miss Sunshine?
Oh, I walked out.
Weren't you up for a guy in the audience who goes,
Yeah!
That's a total Zach role.
Total weird guy sitting there.
Yeah, but if I did it
It would be like
I'd just have that
I'd be like
Line
He was like a single dad
That had to be there
Because of his kid
But like people
Some people that saw that movie
Thought that there was like
Just this perverted guy
In the audience
But he like was clearly bored
Like if he was perverted
He wouldn't be bored
By the whole thing
Like he was
He was some kid's dad right
Oh I never thought of that Yeah i assumed was it supposed was it open
ended that you could make up your own mind that no i don't think it was i thought it was very clear
that there was a biker guy with a little girl that's in the competition and he had to sit through
it and that's why he was so happy when it got all pervy at the end oh right yeah i didn't i never
thought i've talked to people Who think that Ellen Arkin
Taught her that
Dirty dance
As like a
Last fuck you
To the world
Like this girl
He was proud of her
And would have wanted
To be there
To see her do that dance
Like he just thought
That that's how
Women
That, you know
That's his experience
With dancing
Yeah, I heard that last week
Wayne and I didn't talk About that part Yeah, you did Oh, okay Yeah, I heard that last week. Wayne and I didn't talk
about that part.
Yeah, you did.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, you did.
I just, trust me,
I just heard it last week.
Okay, let's move on.
I have a good story
about Toni Collette, though,
who's in...
Oh, yes, please.
I love those kind of stories.
She and I...
Yes?
I was working in London.
I just like to tell every story, start every story like that. I was working in London. I just like to start every story like that.
I was working in London.
Country dropper.
And somehow we ended up eating pot cookies.
And I was staying there for a few months.
And she ended up in my place and she
sang a song to me uh while i for some reason i didn't have pants on and i'll remember in a minute
oh wait i'll wait hold on because it's really stupid oh olivia williams who was the other
actress and they were both In the secret
What's it called
Sixth Sense
Yeah
And Olivia Williams
Is the teacher
From Rushmore
Yes
Yeah yeah yeah
Okay okay
And they were
They were talking
About Bruce Willis
And I took my pants off
And said something like
I think I told him
I called my legs Willis
And I took my pants off
And I went
Look bruised Willis.
Because I happen to have a bruise on my thigh.
That's true.
I remember now.
You didn't get a bruise on your thigh
just to set up that.
No, no, no, no.
Thank God I had one so I could do that joke.
I thought you were going to say
you called Bruce Willis,
and then you pull your pants down
and look at yourself and go,
what are you talking about, Will Willis Like this giant erection
That would have been better
That would have been better
But she ended up singing a song
Called Calling All Angels
Which is a Jane Syberry
Or Syberry song
Which is beautiful
And I started crying
On pot cookies
And then last week...
Your pants were still off.
Yes, my pants were off.
And there's a video of it.
There's a video of it.
And then, because I was videotaping it,
because I didn't think anybody would believe
that I was hanging out with those actresses.
And I saw her in a restaurant two days ago
in Venice Beach.
And I didn't want to bug her,
so I just handed her a note
saying, you made me cry with my pants off when we were high on pot cookies and um I walked out I didn't get to see what her reaction
was it'd just be funny if she like saw you in public somewhere was like hey what's up bruise
willis I don't think it probably didn't make that much of an impression
I mean she you know she actually knows the guy she worked with him in a movie It probably didn't make that much of an impression.
I mean, she actually knows the guy.
She worked with him in a movie where he was dead the whole time.
You know what?
That movie would have been ruined.
He would have figured out he was dead
if he went into a public restroom
and tried to get a paper towel out of that machine
that you have to run your hand in front of the red light
because he'd be like,
oh, it's not working.
I must be a ghost.
Right.
Or if the toilet didn't flush when he got off of it, an automatic toilet. not working. I must be a ghost. Or if the toilet didn't flush when he
got off of it, automatic toilet.
Oh, shit. I'm a ghost.
Well, you can be alive and that can actually
happen. That's what's confusing.
That's the weird part. So you're like, get scared
for a second. Oh, no, I might be a ghost.
And then you're just like, oh, it's just faulty.
You call a plumbing company Like
Either
There's two things that are wrong
You call a plumbing company
Either I'm dead
If you're at the airport
Or my toilet's not working
You have that
On your home toilet
Yeah
I have an automatic toilet thing
Ooh
Bruce Willis
Yeah
Alright so
Any
Any classic motion pictures
That you That you're fond of?
Oh, from the past?
Like your favorites from the past?
You could answer Children of Men again if you'd like.
Because I can't get enough of talking about that.
Please don't say Out Cold.
I know it's a great film.
But movies you're in do not count.
Well, then I don't have an answer.
No, this film, I hate when people say film.
This movie, this talkie I saw, called With Nell and I.
Have you ever seen With Nell and I?
Yeah, With Nell, yeah.
No, With Nell and I.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
With Nell and I, yeah.
But they pronounce it With Nell. Oh, do they? Don't they Do you know what I'm talking about? Withnail and I, yeah. Yeah.
But they pronounce it Whitnall.
Oh, do they?
Don't they?
I don't remember.
Don't they say it that way?
I didn't see it.
Oh, okay.
But in theory, it's one of your favorites.
It's a great...
The cover of the DVD is really good.
No, that's a really funny movie.
That's a great movie.
God damn. That's a good time. That's a great movie God damn
That's a good
That's a good time
It's so good
See it if you
If you
Have it
See it if you have it
If you own Whitnall and I
Watch it
It's been sitting on the shelf
Just fucking pop it in
Dust that thing off
And check it out
Like
Put that beta in there
You were smart to buy it
And dumb to not watch it
Yep
Good work
Well let's Let's go Let's talk a little bit about your Your oeuvre You were smart to buy it and dumb to not watch it. Good work.
Well, let's talk a little bit about your oeuvre, your films, your milieu.
I don't know if any of those words actually apply.
You played Weird Wally in a movie called Below.
How did you research that role?
Did you spend time with Weird Al? To play Weird Wally?
I'll wait until you ask a serious question.
Okay, that's fair.
You were Bus Stop Man in Bubble Boy.
An underrated movie, if you ask me.
Yeah.
Personally, your scene's very funny.
You're sitting in some sort of booth,
and you're acting like there's other people in line.
Right, exactly.
Don't you say next a lot?
Yeah.
That movie was with Jake.
Did Jake Gyllenhaal spit in his hand and make love to you?
During the making?
His career and my career have kind of taken Different trajectories Since that film
Yeah you didn't have to
Sell out and act like a queer
Yeah exactly
Just to get attention
But I did like that movie
I gotta say
But I
The Weird Wally
The Below movie
I did
I was out of town
And I was at a hotel
And I
Had to read with someone And I just had a hotel And I had to read with someone
And I just had a camera
And I had the maid read off camera with me
And I gave her like 20 extra bucks
And then when I sent the tape in
And I got it
The roll
But this maid had read with me
So kind of cool
So is she like seeking you out for more money now?
No, she
It was weird
She's trying to shake you down?
Yeah, it was very odd.
I just decided...
I also decided to put oranges in my mouth
while I was auditioning.
And I thought that would act to the weird part.
But it did.
It worked.
If you're ever looking for a part,
put oranges in your mouth
and read with a maid.
Save it for the actor's studio.
Now, when you worked with Jason Lee in Heartbreakers,
did he try to make you a Scientologist?
Did the subject ever come up?
Yes.
Sarah Silverman, I said to Sarah, who's also in the movie, said,
I went, that Jason Lee guy is really nice.
And she's like, he just thinks you're a sucker for Scientology.
That's why he's being so nice to you.
And then I realized that maybe she was right.
But that movie, the director never said anything to me except once.
He goes, cut.
Zach, stop improv-ing.
And then Sarah goes out loud in front of everybody.
She goes, I think it would be better if I said Zach's lines.
And he goes, goes yeah you say his
lines and my lines were like cut in half because sarah was joking just to fuck with me but the guy
like yeah yeah go ahead you take those four words that he has and take two of them.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I mean,
both of you are kind of like sort of an afterthought,
which is a shame
because, you know,
the main storyline
wasn't very interesting
in that movie.
People liked that movie?
No one saw it.
Yeah.
I saw Jennifer Jason...
Jennifer Jason Lee, I just almost called her Jennifer Hewitt. I saw Jennifer Jason... Jennifer Jason Leigh, I almost called her.
Jennifer Hewitt.
I saw her boobies.
Yeah, I actually, when I was working on that movie with her,
I challenged her, because I was like,
I bet you can't be a dramatic actress.
And she's like, I can't.
And then I had her say, as serious as she could,
don't you ever fart on my tits again.
And she did it really convincingly.
She was like, don't you ever fart on my tits again.
She did it.
I guess someone had farted on her tits.
She was just like, recalling it.
Did she whisper it to you?
Yeah.
And are you a ghost?
If I'd have said that right,
it would have been better.
Did she whisper it?
No, I recall you saying that
on that very same movie,
Ray Liotta tried to make you his bitch.
God, that's right.
Ray Liotta and I
went to a Hell's Angels bar
and there was like and they all recognized him.
Surprisingly, none of the Hell's Angels recognized me from UCB Theater.
They were all sitting at an outdoor picnic table, and he's like,
Hey, this guy's a comedian. Tell some jokes to all these guys.
I'm like, I'm not going to tell you. No. He goes, Tell all these guys. I'm like, I'm not going to tell you. I'm not,
no.
He goes,
tell some fucking jokes.
And I'm like,
I'm not,
no.
He goes,
well then go get us some drinks.
And I'm carrying drinks back.
And it's just like that goddamn scene in Goodfellas
where the kid gets shot in the foot.
Yeah.
Michael Imperioli.
Yeah,
exactly.
And I,
that's,
that's exactly what happened.
Yeah.
That's how you got that bruise on your leg.
Wow.
The thing I liked about you telling that story
is it's exactly as I remember it.
You know what I mean?
If some people, if you ask them,
what happened with you and Ray Liotta
when you told it to me already, but like some time has gone by.
So suddenly it would have all these kind of weird embellishments and you'd have more like
beats to it or whatnot.
But that's like exactly the same as the last time you told me.
Well, I mean, we are roommates now.
Except for farting on his tits.
No, we're roommates now.
I forgot to add that.
No, all my stories are legitimate. No, they're good. And they're roommates now Forgot to add that No all my stories are legitimate
No they're good
And they're precise and to the point
Thank you
You're good
You're good at parties
You're good at parties
At the worst
Oh when's Zach gonna shut up about Ray Liotta
It's like three sentences and out
That would be great if I was known as that guy
That always tells that Ray Liotta story.
Now,
Zach's cool
and everything,
but God damn,
don't bring up
Ray Liotta.
Jesus.
Do not mention
it to me.
Christ.
Here he comes again.
You were so happy
when Smith got canceled
after two episodes.
No, I wasn't.
Ray and I
were very disappointed.
Now, I see you brought some things.
Oh, I didn't know what the show was.
I didn't know what the show was.
So I just brought...
You had no idea what it was?
Like, I love movies with Doug Benson?
We talked about it over the phone the other day,
but I wasn't paying attention.
So I thought I'd have to grab some DVDs.
I didn't know if you were showing movies.
And then I grabbed the only DVDs I had, which unfortunately are Sanford and Son.
Which season?
Oh, season four.
That's one of the better ones.
Season four is when they really got into their stride.
You know who used to write on that show?
That's the season where AJ lost some weight and he started to get in trouble with the mob.
Oh, wait.
I'm thinking of The Sopranos.
I'm sorry.
What's his face used to write on this show?
Gary.
Gary.
Gary Shandling.
Thank you.
Wayne Fetterman, last week's guest.
He comes to all the shows.
It's weird.
Do I have to come to the next show?
Yes, you do.
Oh, God.
You were supposed to come to Wayne's last week and pay attention.
So you brought that.
You brought your own Zach Galifianakis live at the Purple Onion.
Is that available in stores now?
No, it'll never be available.
That's the only copy.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I was going to see if anybody wanted to rent it tonight.
And then you have to return it back to me,
and then I have to send it off.
This is my own personal Netflix.
And then you also brought...
This one you don't want to talk about?
No, I don't know why I brought it.
It's uncomfortable.
I don't want to talk about it No, I don't know why I brought it. It's uncomfortable. I don't want to talk about it.
All right.
That's fair.
I mean, you shouldn't have to talk about that
because your true calling is comedy.
And you are fantastic at it.
I ask this of almost all my guests.
Have you ever worked with Alec Baldwin?
No.
Are you as in love with him right now as I am?
No.
Everything I see him in, I cannot get enough of the guy lately.
He's quite good, yeah.
He's always great in everything.
Did you see The Good Shepherd?
No, he's in that too, right?
Yeah, he's in that too.
I didn't see that.
It loses me because it's from the 19...
I did see Bad Lieutenant.
Is he in that?
No, but isn't that kind of like Good Shepherd?
It's got one word that's either good or bad
And then another word after it
That's a type of thing
I saw Bad Santa
What were you going to say?
I have fucking no clue what I was going to say
Oh I know
It happens when I throw in a shitty joke
Anyway the Good Shepherd.
I wonder if Wayne saw The Good Shepherd.
Well, he's here.
Let's ask him.
Wayne, did you see it?
Did not see The Good Shepherd.
Didn't see Good Shepherd.
But I know it's about the start of the CIA.
It's about the beginnings of the CIA.
I was hoping that you would see it because it's very convoluted.
It's very confusing.
Complicated, yeah.
Yeah, it's very.
And they lost me because it spans from the 1940s to the 60s,
but there was a scene where Matt Damon is bumping fists with someone.
That just sounds like a sex thing.
I've never heard it referred to as bumping fists.
What is that called when people do that?
Yeah, it's the OCD handshake.
Oh, is that what?
It's the Howie Mandel, we're calling it now.
I thought it was the old Bob Dole.
No, that's if you have a pen in one hand.
So, at the end of every episode of I Love Movies,
I know you haven't heard one before,
Zach, but at the end of every episode,
we play a game called Leonard Maltin,
and it was sort of invented by Brian Posehn and I
and Sarah Silverman enjoys playing it.
And it's basically you read the cast from a movie
from the bottom of the cast list up
according to Leonard Maltin
and then the other person has to try and guess
what movie it is.
Okay.
So do you want me to do one to you
or do you want to do one to me?
Yeah, go ahead.
All right, here we go.
See if you recognize the people in this movie. No, you know what? I'm not going to do one to you or do you want to do one to me? Yeah, go ahead. All right, here we go. See if you recognize the people in this movie.
No, you know what?
I'm not going to do that one.
That was a bad idea.
You know, it's got to be something you've probably seen.
And I'll tell you the year first just to help you out.
Oh, here's a good one.
1992.
Okay.
Jerry Lewis.
Gandhi.
Gandhi.
Jerry Lewis Gandhi
You know I can count on you to do that
I knew that you'd say something funny right away
Slappy White
You don't have to guess every time
Carl Ballantyne
Jackie Gayle
Jerry Lewis is the last one, and you're reading up.
He's the smallest role of the listed players.
1992.
1992.
Okay.
It's a tricky game, Zach.
Yeah.
It's not easy.
Jerry Orbach.
Okay.
You're getting close.
You're getting warm.
Also the voice of the candle in Beauty and the Beast.
Yep.
You're getting close.
Oh, wait.
I'm guessing it. You have to guess. Oh wait, I'm guessing it.
You have to guess.
I mean, I can guess it too.
I can guess too.
It's a little easier for me,
but not a lot easier.
Helen Hunt.
We have a Twister guess
in the audience.
There's a Twister coming.
Jerry Lewis was great in Twister.
Hey lady, come. There's a twister coming. Jerry Lewis was great in Twister. Hey, lady cow!
It's not...
What are lady cows called?
You can't just...
Don't just yell out movies that these people have been in.
It's got to be one that's had all of these people in it.
Jerry Orbach came in
and questioned the Twister
about its whereabouts.
Julie Warner.
David Pamer,
who was just on,
I was just on a plane with him
and the whole flight,
I was like,
if this motherfucker crashes,
it's going to be David Pamer
and some comedian died
in a plane crash
because he got nominated
for an Oscar
for this movie.
Hint, hint.
Don't yell it out.
And the last name,
this should give it away, but might not.
Billy Crystal.
Oh, I know it. It's Mr. Saturday Night.
Very good, Zach.
Do you want to try doing one to me?
I like that movie.
You did? Yeah.
So starting from the bottom
And then going up
Yeah
And just pick any one
Preferably something from
Since 1980 something
Because it's
I don't like doing
Old movies
Because I don't know
Any of those people
1980 something?
I'm a young man
Okay
Yeah anything in the 80s
Tell me the year first
Okay
And then read from the bottom
Of the cast list
Up Up And do it slowly of the year first. Okay. And then read from the bottom of the cast list.
Up.
Up.
And do it slowly because I like to suspense
and I like to jump in
with my answer.
Doug Benson.
First of all,
I'm not listed in any movie
that's in there.
My parts have all been
much too small.
This is too easy.
I gotta go...
Yeah, go harder.
I'm looking for Amelie.
Go harder.
If I could just find...
Amelie.
I would definitely not get Amelie
until you say Audrey.
Can I just find Amelie
and then read it
and see if you can guess Amelie?
Okay.
Or I could think maybe it's Very Long Engagement.
Same director, same actress.
I love that movie.
Yeah, I like her a lot.
Was that ever in your top ten?
I'd give her a piece of the Greek sausage any day.
I'd love to fuck her doggy fashion.
We should do a talk show where it's just about us talking how we want to fuck her doggy fashion We should do a talk show
Where it's just about us
How we want to fuck Audrey Tudor
I saw her walking around
In Greenwich Village one day
And I just
I couldn't think of anything to say
So I didn't
That's a really good story
She's a cutie
It was a few years ago
I thought of saying
Don't do the Da Vinci Code
Four or five years from now
It's not going to be Your big break in America To be in that dumb movie It was a few years ago. I thought of saying, don't do the Da Vinci Code four or five years from now.
It's not going to be your big break in America to be in that dumb movie.
For some reason, I'm hitting everything like in the 30s, and then there's a... I'm sorry.
Okay.
It's all right.
We're doing good for time.
Okay.
That's our show.
This will be good.
1987.
Okay.
This will be hard, though.
That's how I like it justin lewis don't know who that is michael ironside no i know who that is he's in uh robocop lisa lapidelli lisa scraw
s uh don't even try the ones you can't pronounce Just skip those
There's an actor in here
That goes by two and a half stars
And then the last actor is
That's all?
There's only five actors in it?
Okay wait wait
Back up back up
Michael Ironside
Justin Lewis.
Justin Lewis.
Some lady named Lisa.
Wendy Lyon.
Michael Ironside.
Wendy Lyon?
Yeah, Wendy Lyon.
I'm just seeing if it looks...
Was this made in another country?
I'm just seeing if her middle name is the...
Is it foreign?
No, it's not.
Okay.
Because you'd know right away
if it was Wendy the Lion, right?
Oh, yeah.
Well, if you said Wendy T. Lyon,
I would know that it would know that the movie is
Wendy He's Lion?
Chronicles of Narnia.
Okay.
Wendy T. Lion.
Oh, Wendy T. Lion. Oh, okay. I got it.
Alright. Got it. I thought you said something else.
And who's the last person? You should give it away.
I'm getting ready to say it. Bruce Pittman.
Oh, Pittman.
So many movies
from that year that starred Pittman.
1987. Does anybody
know it? We might want to leave
this one as a cliffhanger so people have to tune in
next time
to find out the answer. Zach Galifianakis
everybody.
Thanks for coming on the show.
Look for him on the Sarah Silverman program
on Comedy Central.
And until next time,
this is Doug Benson saying,
Willem Dafoe is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
cause Doug loves movies.