Doug Loves Movies - Zach Galifianakis, Kyle Kinane, and Anthony Jeselnik? Guest
Episode Date: October 3, 2012Doug welcomes comedians Zach Galifianakis and Kyle Kinane, and they all wonder if Anthony Jeselnik will show up. (Suspense!)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priv...acy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy, but we're sweet, he's a city, he's sweet, if he has a problem, we're personal, he's his, he's his, he'll love more than he will be, because Doug loves movies.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves the Shit Out of Movies.
I really do, you guys.
I've seen... I've got the fire again.
I've got the fever.
I saw, over the past two weeks, I've seen at least 21 movies, I think. think yeah I went absolutely apeshit at
Fantastic Fest in Austin saw like at least two a day for like a week and then
and a couple more on other days and then since I've been back I've seen like in
LA I've seen three movies I haven't done that forever so and they were all good
and I've talked about some before,
and I'll talk about some tonight.
Since last... Oh, wait, did I say the date?
We're coming to you from the UCB Theater
in LA on Tuesday, October
1st, 2 Oceans 12. Since last
I spoke and you listened, we taped
a dining with Doug and Karen,
with guest Greg Proops and
chef Ludo. You know that guy
Ludo? Ludo that guy Ludo?
Ludo Leschaz.
He's got a French name.
Anyway, he was great.
Made us some great food.
And it'll be available now or soon to listen to for free in the comedy podcast section of iTunes or over at Nerdist.com. This Saturday, October 6th, I'm doing stand-up at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase.
This Saturday, October 6th, I'm doing stand-up at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase,
appropriately enough, in Ann Arbor at 420.
Sunday night, I'll be at the Arlington Draft House in Arlington, Virginia.
Both of those shows bring your name tags because the Leonard Mullen game will be played at the end of the show.
And Monday, October 8th, I'm taping at Douglas Movies at the Gramercy Theater new york city with three to four very special guests
they're already booked and hopefully they'll show up uh lots of shows in random spots so check the
dates at douglasmovies.com now i just want to quickly just uh people ask me on twitter the
number one question right now is whenever i go do a show somewhere they they go, is it Doug Loves Movies or is it stand-up? And I try to be super clear in the promos on here and on Twitter,
if I say it's Doug Loves Movies, then it's Doug Loves Movies.
I know, it sounds crazy, right?
But if I say it's Doug Loves Movies, then it's Doug Loves Movies.
But if I say I'm doing stand-up, still bring name tags
because whoever my opening act is will have to compete
against audience members
for prizes at the end of the show.
And to confuse things even further,
I'm going to start doing movie interruptions
out on the road a little bit
and bringing great movies to places
and then sitting there with a microphone
and talking during them.
So just like we do here at CineFamily,
we just did The Avengers. that was a lot of fun and next up thank you next up is um return of living dead part two
on october 17th i want to say now it's time for tweet relief tweets about movies at preel preel preel p-r-e-e-l preel preel preel
wrote perks of being a wallflower is that jacob dylan biopic right
this has been tweet relief tweets about movies all right the prize bag's got some good stuff
in it you guys it's got a thank you card that will be addressed to you by one of the guests.
Also, a signed copy of Makeup Artist Magazine.
And also we have in here somebody out on the road.
This is from Eugene, Oregon.
There's a company called Doug's Nuts.
DougsNuts.com
and they have, it says
share the love, pass the nuts.
And for some
reason it's Doug's Nuts and they gave them
to me and I'm not gonna eat, I'm not gonna try
them. But
just I'm grossed out by it.
But everybody else
might be alright.
From Fantastic Fest
I'll have a few things in the bag
every week until all of it's gone
I've got like a
koozie that says
Shiner Light Blonde on it
I think it's a delicious beer
that I haven't tried
and then a book called
Not Quite Hollywood
The Wild Untold Story of Ozploitation.
Yeah, so that's
Australia, right?
And I brought
a copy of Smug Life and a Doug Loves Movies
t-shirt. If you get a Doug Loves Movies
t-shirt from DougLovesMovies.com
and take a picture of yourself in it, I will
retweet it if you send it to me. That's
a pledge.
Oh, and also a CD by
a very funny comedian.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Kyle Kinane,
Anthony Jeselnik, and Zach Galifianakis!
Thank you! Hey, Doug, it's good to be back on the show.
That's my Anthony Juslik impression.
Yeah, Anthony had a doctor's appointment at 5 o'clock,
and I've been getting a steady stream of texts
explaining how doctors suck
and why do they fucking make you wait so long.
I guess it's his first time to a doctor.
So, um...
Can you make a text exchange into a movie?
Because that sounds really great.
Yes, I think it's been done already but sure that's Zach Galifianakis everybody
he brought makeup magazine and signed his name on the front of it.
Very nice. And he'll also be
signing that thank you card.
He'll write the name on the front of it
when we find out who that is.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
He's not going to get carried away.
That was the plan, right?
It's pink. It's the thank you card.
It's from American Greetings.
And the CD is called
Death of the Party because Kyle Kinane
is here, everybody.
I would have brought fun, wacky things.
What? I would have brought
fun, wacky things. Oh, no, this is
a fun, wacky thing.
Your comedy is very
enjoyable, and it's so old-fashioned to be able to hold it. That's wacky things. Oh no, this is a fun wacky thing.
It's very enjoyable and it's so old fashioned to be able
to hold it. That's exciting.
It is, in the hand. People love it.
Yeah.
So yeah, so I was expecting
Anthony to really bring the energy to this
episode.
He's the spark
plug that we needed.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm a little...
What doctor are you at at 5 p.m.?
Yeah.
And far away.
Like he's in Pomona or something.
I don't know where he is, but...
I told him to try to make it.
Is he pissed because he just can't grow a beard?
I know.
It was really mean of me to put him on this panel.
I can't grow a beard either, though.
With a face like his, you don't need a beard.
That's right.
Smooth.
Where's your chin?
Yep.
That's one of them.
The beards are just chin disguises.
That's all they are.
It's a chin hider.
Um, all right.
So maybe he'll get here in time for, I was excited about this booking because at Bumbershoot
of last year, Two Oceans 11, you and Anthony had a particularly contentious round of the
Leonard Maltin game. First off,
somebody didn't want to step in and take a one-inch punch.
Oh, right.
That was the one-inch
punch episode. So I stepped in
for that. Would you
do that, Zach? Would you get a
for one point in the Leonard Maltin game
let a really huge guy punch you
from just an inch away?
No, a huge guy, but the punch you from just an inch away. No, a huge guy, but the punch
comes from just one inch away.
He doesn't get to
pull his arm back before he brings it in.
What do I get again?
One point in the Leonard Mullins game.
For sure.
Yeah, exactly.
The extra point.
See, Kyle, that's how he plays.
But Anthony wouldn't do it.
No.
I can't, man.
This is how I make a living.
I heard somebody say that on the basketball court once.
The ball was thrown at some actor, Jerkoff.
The ball was thrown at his face.
Oh, Jack Nicholson.
And the guy goes, dude, don't do that.
That's how I make a living, my face.
My face is my occupation.
All right, so this is the first time we've had two guests
since Jeff Garlin was late that other time,
and we went ahead with two guests.
He's like two guests.
More. Higher. like two guests. More.
Higher.
A bit higher. But
I'll just go ahead and go through
the questions as I've prepared them
and we'll see what happens.
Zach Galifianakis.
Is it
true that Hangover 3
is going to be about how you guys wake up one day
feeling fine and proceed to enjoy yourselves for the course of the film?
That sounds about right, yes.
Wouldn't that be awesome?
What if it was just that?
People would go.
Yeah, I think so.
I'd love that.
I'd love to see those guys catch a break for once.
Yeah.
Just go buy hammocks and for the next
last 45 minutes
we're just in a hammock
Yeah
You guys aren't
fucking John McClane
where every vacation
he goes on
some shitty has to happen
Yeah
That's not a bad idea
You're just three dudes
Yeah, just have a nice day
It's already shooting, right?
Yeah
You're shooting it right now
Yeah
Right now, right here
The camera's in the back.
Have you been to the movies lately, Kyle?
Seen anything?
We'll be right
back with great icebreakers.
So, I love how you looked down at the paper
So Kyle, have you been to
any good movies lately?
Lately
I do work off of notes
when I'm at the bars
So, do you like the cinema?
I love it
I can't even
I DVR'd beaches last week.
Why?
Because there was a boob movie I wanted to watch at the same time.
And I won't allow myself to DVR boob movies.
Are you saying boot movies? Boobs. Oh, boobs. And I won't allow myself to DVR boob movies. So I just watch.
Are you saying boot movies?
Boobs.
Oh, boobs.
It's like bikini space travel or something.
But I won't DVR those because I feel like a real piece of shit.
So I watch that straight up, watch that live.
But I'll DVR classic to absorb some of the guilt.
So I got beaches on deck.
You've never seen it?
Or you just want to revisit the magic?
I knew it was like the antithesis of bikini space travel.
But it sounds like a boob movie.
It could be.
Barbara Hershey was in The Entity.
That's something.
That might be the greatest
boob movie of all time because she gets
assaulted by a ghost.
And they made prosthetic
boobs where you see fingers going
like working the
breasts. It's insane.
Jeepers.
Dump beaches
and DVR The Entity. That's beaches. Yeah. And DVR the entity.
Yeah. That's enough to give me the Hershey squirts.
I'm just reading the note.
Don't jump ahead
and steal my jokes.
You can't. Hey, Dread3D,
of course you can't spell dread without
three D's.
So, DVR'd Beaches
to relive the magic
and that's it
that's it for you movie wise
the last movie I saw in the theater
was The Campaign
now that is a good icebreaker.
That was a very funny movie, Zach.
Okay, let's move on. I wasn't going to bring it up.
I wasn't going to bring it up.
I was going to be cool about it.
I had some laughs in a multiplex in Virginia Beach.
Oh, nice.
I played well there.
I played really well there. Oh, nice. I believe it was where I was. Played well there. Played really well there.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so funny.
I was, Anthony Jeselnik was booked on this show
because he was so excited about,
he texted me about, I'll read you his text.
He texted me the other day about movies
and his excitement about the movies just made me go, hey, do you want to do the show
on Tuesday night?
I'll read you what he wrote. He wrote
to me, there's all this
shit about the doctor's office.
Instead of reading it, can we just pass
your phone around and everybody read it?
What about the listeners?
He wrote,
this is just a text from my friend
Anthony. Looper is the fucking greatest
second greatest Dread 3D
and you can take that to the blood bank
Senator
so that's the guy that's fired up
about movies and I'm like you want to do
DLM on Tuesday and he goes I will seriously do it
just to talk about those two movies
so
if he were here, he would be
going off right now about Looper
and Dread 3D.
And we could, you know...
It'd be a better show, is what you're saying.
I'm just saying it would be more of the kind of show
I'm looking for. Okay, well maybe we can
step up to the plate. What have you seen
lately, Zach?
The campaign.
Before that,
The Hangover.
Last, I rented
a movie. Wait, what about
Due Date and Hangover? Oh, I didn't see those.
Okay.
The last movie, I rented one. Does that count?
Yes! Straight Time, Dustin Hoffman, prison movie. Yeah. Have you seen it? The last movie, I rented one. Does that count? Yes.
Straight Time, Dustin Hoffman, prison movie.
Yeah.
Have you seen it?
Yeah.
And the nurse from One Who Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
What's that?
Colleen Frazier, I think. Yes, Colleen Frazier.
Great movie.
The great.
Straight Time.
Look it up.
It's really good.
I don't have anything bad to say about it. Her name is Fletcher. Colleen Frazier. Great movie. Straight time. Look it up. It's really good. I don't have anything bad to say about it.
Her name is Fletcher.
Colleen Fletcher.
You can't be making fun of me for that, can you?
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm just correcting you.
Okay.
But you said it like, how can you not know that?
It's not Colleen.
It's Fletcher.
It's Fletcher.
Okay.
Great movie.
Yeah.
She won the Academy Award for that Cuckoo's Nest film. Yeah, I didn Fletcher. It's Fletcher. Okay, great movie. Yeah, she won the Academy Award
for that Cuckoo's Nest film.
Yeah, I didn't see that.
Right?
I don't know.
Did she?
And I think,
did Ulu Grossbard direct?
Yes, it was a name like that.
That's right, doesn't it?
It was.
Ulu.
It's a Ulu joint.
But it's basically about
recidivism right
what
yes it is
going back to jail
that's exactly what it's about
yeah it's about going
a prison
guy gets out
and he
has a hard time
acclimating to life
yeah yeah
like there's a scene
where he's like
trying to figure out
he's like
there's this booby movie
that he wants to watch live
but he doesn't know about DVRs he doesn't know how they work so he's trying to figure out there's this booby movie that he wants to watch live, but he
doesn't know about DVRs. He doesn't know how
they work, so he's afraid he's going to lose
his features forever. That's where they lost me because it was
1974. I'm like, what the fuck is a DVR?
Yeah, what are they doing?
Does anyone
hunger for games?
Does anyone hunger for games?
Now we're talking Now this sucker's flying
It's moving, yeah
Let's play a round of ABCD's Nuts
With you two fellas
And this is a new game to both of you
So I'll
I'll describe it quickly.
We're going to go through, normally we go through the alphabet,
where each person has to take turns naming a movie that begins with the next letter of the alphabet.
Any movie.
The only counts for T, though.
Yeah.
Just to make it tough.
Okay.
And we don't do the alphabet.
Now we spell things.
And today...
This guy's over here stepping on a bag of chips.
Today we're going to spell...
Right?
That's what's happening, right?
You got a bag of chips under your chair
and you're squashing it with your...
You've never been chip heckled before?
No.
Oh, man. bag of chips under your chair and you're squashing it with your... You've never been chip-hackled before? No.
Oh, man.
I got into it big with this bag of Funyuns one night.
I thought he was just a professional Foley artist
taking his work home with him.
He's crammed.
He's got to create a forest fire.
Yeah.
Sound effect.
Okay.
I had a Ruffles joke in there,
but it's so quick-fire around here,
I had no place to jump in.
You can hear the ridges.
All right, so,
but we're going to spell something,
and tonight,
just to set the record straight,
because people get it wrong all the time,
we're going to spell Galifianakis.
Good.
Yeah.
So we start, and if you...
Can you use that in a sentence?
You don't have to.
I saw the campaign today.
Galifianakis.
And it's...
I'll walk you through how it's spelled.
You don't have to worry about that.
I wrote down the name of a movie that begins with a letter
out of all movies.
If we match, you win automatically.
But you have to name a movie within three seconds.
That begins with a G.
You start with G, yes.
Go.
G-Force.
Correct.
I said Ghostbusters.
Damn it.
Yeah.
So close.
Kyle,
you get A.
Any movie that begins with A.
Animal House.
Very good.
Avatar.
L. Are you kidding me?
Looper
Did really hand you that one
Didn't I?
Yeah
Liar liar
Yeah
But my name only has one L in it
Oh no I can see what you're saying
Okay
I
Intimate encounters
That's gotta be a movie, right?
Was that the name of the movie?
That was the movie movie
That's gotta be a movie
It's also a great icebreaker
See?
Who's in it?
Oh
You know
Standard fare
It's
Holly
Alright, I'm to look that up later
because if there is a movie
called Intimate Encounters that sounds good
that sounds
like something I want to watch
you want another one?
yeah I want another one
Ice Age that's a real movie
that's real
but it's not
you're saying it's a real movie.
It's not a real story.
It's based on a true thing.
Okay.
It's based on a Jack London.
Jack called Wild.
Jack Wild.
Jack London.
Jack.
Jack O' Lantern.
Jack Wild was in Intimate Encounters.
I said Iron Man.
A.
A.
Apple. Three seconds.
Apple time.
Look it up. Who's got a computer?
Computer.
Well, Grandpa, we have these phones now.
Apple time. It's got...
I said Alice in Wonderland.
That's one, yep.
So Kyle's our winner Kyle won
I won?
Oh
If Anthony were here
He would be mad at that game
He would be mad at Kyle
It would be a real fun dynamic
Yeah, sorry
Good job, Kyle
Thanks I appreciate it Yeah, you. Good job, Kyle. Thanks.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, you guys are...
It's much more fun for me, I know.
You're not mean to each other.
We'll get there.
What kind of insults do you think
Anthony would have used on you so far?
God.
I don't know.
He's pretty good at those, but he's never done it to my face.
Oh, really?
Does he have a whole lot of them?
No, no.
I'm not implying that he's stocking up on Galifianakis jokes.
Probably.
But he'd have something to say.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
How old is Anthony?
29? Yeah, well, he old is Anthony? 29?
Yeah, well, he shouldn't talk to his elders like that.
30, maybe?
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
People in the audience have name tags that they've crafted.
In some cases,
scribbled on something.
That bag of chips isn't your name tag?
Now I'm never gonna...
That lady's got money.
Oh, cash. That's smart.
That's real smart.
Zach is interested in the cash.
And you guys just get up and go out
into the audience and pick the name tag And you guys just get up and go out into the audience
and pick the name tag that you want to play for.
Okay.
Or you can make them come to you, I guess.
Just pointing at people.
Is there gummy bears left in that?
Like a root.
Half gone gummy bears?
Get his fucking dirty mitt in there?
Yeah.
His hand just digging in there?
Getting those gummy bears.
Does anybody have a full
bag of gummy bears?
She's got brownies.
What do they got in them?
Does that say diarrhea on it?
What's it say?
Okay, I'll take that.
Her name is diarrhea?
You said half full.
There's like six left in here.
I mean, from a distance, that looks like diarrhea.
Do you know that song from a distance?
It looks like diarrhea?
It's one of my favorite songs.
It's in beaches, I think.
I think she sings that in beaches.
From a distance, it looks like diarrhea.
That has weight to it. That fell with a thud. Or no, maybe it's wind beneath my that in beaches. It looks like there we go. That has weight to it.
That fell with a thud.
Or no, maybe it's wind beneath my wings in beaches.
Do we need forks and knives?
Yes.
Whoa, Doug.
Whoa.
I want open.
Open, open.
See, it's not that easy, is it?
Anthony would get this open real quick.
There we go.
So it was pretty hot out today, I'm guessing.
Because it looks kind of melted.
Yeah.
It's okay.
What kind of, is it just a straight brownie?
Oh, that sounds good.
Does it have any chiba in it?
Good. Because Doug hates that stuff. Does it have any chiba in it? Good
Because Doug hates that stuff
Well I do think it's wasted calories
To eat something like this
It doesn't have chiba in it
But you know
They're funny looking forks
We need one knife right?
Yeah one knife
I think these are all knives
Oh it's a dinner It's an elegant plastic dinnerware set one knife, right? Yeah, one knife. I think these are all knives.
Oh, it's an elegant plastic dinnerware set.
I was sensing a
fanciness about
these particular
utensils, and now
it's turned out to be...
Oh, I found a spoon.
Uh, diarrhea. Is this homemade or...
God, can we just be friends so I can call you diarrhea
just like in public?
Diarrhea, do you have 35 cents?
I gotta...
Wait, what do you gotta do with the 35 cents?
I have a debt I have to pay back.
I used the pay phone 17 years ago.
Yep.
All right, that'll work.
Here we go.
Is it rude if I don't have any?
No.
No.
They're not good.
Shut up, diarrhea.
Well, we don't...
Here we go, diarrhea.
Mmm, diarrhea.
You've outdone yourself, Tiger.
It is really good, Kyle.
All right.
I feel rude.
You guys want some?
It's not that good.
She just bought it at a store and squirted diarrhea on it.
You mean like Hershey squirted it on there? Or... Well, thank you, diarrhea.
I've never appreciated diarrhea
until now.
And, um... Who are you playing for, Kyle?
Did he write his name on there
anywhere?
He just held up some yummy bears.
Really grabbed your attention.
The work that he put into that.
Probably took a lot of work
to not eat all of them.
I don't want to play this game.
There's stuff in my pocket.
People make crafted
cakes.
What's your name?
Mike.
Okay, Mike.
Kyle is playing for Mike.
Zach is playing for Big D.
What's that? I forgot her name again.
Dirty D.
You don't mind if I just call you Di for short, do you?
Or Di-a. Maybe Di-a.
How's that gummy bear?
Great.
But it just doesn't have that
diarrhea touch.
That diarrhea magic.
Yeah, I'm kind of done with the diarrhea joke it could come back again
When you least expect it. Yeah.
It usually does after I eat a shitty cake.
Okay, so we'll let Zach go first.
I don't know why.
No reason.
Wait, who won that last game?
Oh, Kyle did, so you get to go first.
Oh, all right.
There you go.
All right.
You get to pick a category between the following.
Would you like to play the Below Zilch category,
as the person who suggested it.
Doug Loves Guests. And these are movies that feature one of the guests zilch category as a person who suggested it. Doug loves guests.
And these are movies that
feature one of the guests that's on the show
tonight.
Or
or
Mall Me Maybe.
And that's movies that have a bear.
One or more bears in them.
I don't need to hear any more
options. But you're going to really love
this next one, though.
It's called Ass to Mouth.
And it's movies that have
a talking donkey in them.
A couple of those are the same.
There's a little bit of overlap, sure.
How much does a talking donkey Pop into puss in boots?
Is there ass to mouth in puss in boots?
I don't know
I don't think there's a donkey
Which of those categories do you like, Kyle?
I like the bear one.
The bear one. Okay, maul me maybe.
But it's not gummy bears. It's just regular...
I'm just trying to keep with the theme.
It's got one or more
regular bears in it.
That someone's mauled?
Did you say someone was mauled in the movie?
The bears could be peaceful.
They could maul people to death.
That's a good category.
They'd be animated bears.
Yes.
What if the bears were...
They could be lethargic bears.
They could be animated bears.
Yeah.
Big hairy gay dudes.
Could be a movie about big hairy gay dudes.
What if the bears are like bad news?
Does that count?
Those bears don't qualify because there's no actual bears.
I thought hard about it to make sure there wasn't one in one scene.
But big, hairy, gay dudes is cool.
Got some cross wires on these rules.
Yeah, there's no...
Are we talking about gay bears or like Alaskan bear?
Like bear bears.
We're talking about gay bear people.
No, just animal bears.
People that are gay bears.
Bears that don't have a choice.
No, I'm kidding.
Just animal bears. Bears.
Bears. Zoo bears.
Right. Zoo bears. Got it.
Yogi bears. Oh, shit.
Bears that can...
Bears that can marry.
Vermont teddy bears.
Right?
Nothing?
Yeah, you got something.
You got about four groans over here.
That's something.
I'll take it.
The year of this movie that has a bear in it
is 1989.
Mr. Moulton gives this movie one and a half stars.
That's a good review.
That's on the lower end.
Not my book.
Good enough.
You get unanimously great reviews
that way, don't you?
Yeah.
What did I say?
89? And he says about
this movie, he doesn't say much about it,
but he says that he calls calls it Brain Dead Yahoo Fair.
And he also says it's fun for a while.
Yeah, Brain Dead Yahoo Fair and fun for a while.
And he lists eight names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
89.
That's a lot of names.
I don't think that was...
I think I can...
The year is 89.
I think I can guess it in two names.
Well, that's a very strong opening.
That's a strong opening.
Okay, I say try that, Kyle.
I'm out of bears myself, so I'm in business right now.
So you're going to get two names,
but I think you think you know what it is already, maybe.
I think you think.
I'm wrong.
I'll give you the clues again.
One and a half stars.
This bear fair is for yahoos who are brain dead for a while.
I paraphrased it.
It's fun for a while.
You paraphrased it?
I thought that's what you said.
Yeah.
I thought that's what you said.
And your two names are the Jeff Healy Band.
He listed his name.
Could have just said Jeff Healy.
Yeah, they played Oscar.
Kathleen Wilhoit.
The Great Outdoors.
It's got a bear in it. The Great Outdoors. It's got a bear in it.
The Great Outdoors.
Yeah.
That is a tremendous guess.
Really good guess.
I'm impressed.
It's incorrect.
It's a movie called Roadhouse,
where a stuffed bear falls on a guy.
I must see it.
It's really
funny when the stuffed bear falls
on the dude.
And yeah, but
The Great Outdoors was one year prior.
Alright, that was close.
No, that was a very, very good
guess. That's why I was asking you if you thought you were sure of what the movie was,
because I was pretty sure that no one would get that.
I've failed spectacularly at this game every time I've played it.
Well, just because Zach is on the board doesn't mean you don't have a chance to tie it up right now.
Let's hear it for Kyle, everybody.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Let's get that diarrhea energy back that we had earlier.
And let's go ahead and let Kyle pick a category once again.
Would you like, as suggested by PlaysByEar on Twitter,
in theaters, ow!
And that's movies that have torture in them
or
at
cos pow
ink
k-o-s
pow
i-n-c
suggested
keeping up with the
kardashians
and that's movies
that have three or more
monsters in them Or one of everybody's favorites,
In Theaters Now.
So you got In Theaters Ow,
In Theaters Now.
In Theaters Ow.
Okay.
In Theaters Ow.
This movie has torture in it. Yeah. Okay. In theaters ow. This movie has torture
in it.
Yeah.
1987.
Three stars
from Mr.
Malton.
He says
about this
movie,
you can get
three stars?
Dude,
some movies
get four.
Bullshit.
It's true.
Just turn your phone upside down.
That wouldn't change the number of stars at all.
Says this movie's about a borderline psychopath.
They're always right there.
Yeah.
He's right there on the line.
And he also says this movie is loud and violent. Yeah. He's right there on the line.
And he also says this movie is loud and violent.
1987.
Three stars from Leonard.
Has torture in it.
So I guess that's kind of redundant to say it's violent.
And there are seven names listed.
Oh, man.
How many do you think you can get it in?
Let's go five. I got greedy on the first one.
Yeah, you probably could have
gotten a few more names that last time, but
five is a smart
opening bid.
I say you can't do it.
Is that what I'm supposed to say?
Right? I say that he can't do it. Or do I say I can't do it. Is that what I'm supposed to say? Right.
I say that he can't do it.
Or do I say I can name it in something?
You did it right, sort of.
You challenge him.
To what?
Name that movie.
Name that movie.
Here's your five names.
Yep.
Thanks.
Out of seven.
All right.
I feel pretty good. You read the bottom up or do you read? Yeah. seven. All right. I feel pretty good.
You read the bottom up or do you read?
Yeah.
Okay.
Tracy Wolf.
Fuck.
Darlene Love.
Tom Atkins.
Mitchell Ryan.
And third build in this movie from 1987.
Gary Busey.
It's, um... Borderline psychopath.
Lethal weapon.
Loud and violent.
Lethal weapon.
That is correct.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I never get these these I'm so excited
Alright
Alright
Alright
We're all tied up
You get to pick the category this time, Zach
Sure
From the following options Help myself to some celebratory You get to pick the category this time, Zach. Sure.
From the following options.
Help myself to some celebratory cake. Oh, yeah, have some celebratory cake now that you're out of bears.
I didn't take a gummy bear when I went up for you.
Because there aren't any more.
They're gone.
All gone.
In theaters, ciao.
That's films that are set in Italy.
Oh.
In theaters, how?
That's movies that were covered on
How Did This Get Made podcast,
which they generally cover terrible movies.
Or, it's back again.
The below zilch category.
Doug loves guests.
Movies that...
A movie that one of the guests
on this panel
has been in.
Is in. One of the guests on the panel.
One of the guests. Not me.
Although we
were both in the same movie once.
Leonard never reviewed it though let's do the Italian one
let me just for fun
tell you what the one was for the guest
tonight
2001 and Leonard called it a bomb.
What's that face?
You narrowing it down?
I just... You're not good with years?
No, I heard you.
Did you say years or ears?
Are your ears good with years?
No, it's just like Lenny's tough on me
and stuff I've done.
is good with years?
No, it's just like Lenny's tough on me
and stuff I've done.
He doesn't blame...
This one isn't your fault at all.
And it's not a bomb.
I disagree with Leonard.
Okay.
I watched it in a motion picture
theater and laughed.
What is it?
It's called Bubble Boy.
Oh.
You're not...
They list a bunch of names
and they didn't even drag you into it.
You were billed below Fabio in that one.
Fabio's the night, yeah.
So you did good.
He could be in the Italian one too.
Has he been in any Italian movies?
Fabio?
Let's find out.
The year is
1991.
Can I tell a story about Fabio and Bubble Boy?
Please
Old girlfriend
Calls me
She's like I'm still in love with you
Can I come out there?
I'm like to California
I'm like okay
I take her to a Bubble Boy party
That sounds like a really specific kind of party bubble boy party.
You know, I don't know what it was. That sounds like a really specific kind of party.
And, um...
We get together with boys in bubbles
and just show them a good time.
Like a regular party, but half the guests
are in bubbles.
It wasn't like that, but I wish it were.
It was like a wrap party?
Yeah, it was something like, I think it was a screening
of it, and there was a party
with cocktails and
hors d'oeuvres and diarrhea cake.
Anyway, this girl that came out
was
went to the thing.
Fabio was there. The next night
Fabio
picked her up at my apartment in his Bentley.
Because I said,
you have to go on a date with Fabio.
I mean, he asked you out. She was like, yeah. I was like, well, go out
with him. And so she went out on a date
with him, and she said all
he talked about is how he saves animals and how
he was almost the lead in Forrest Gump.
how he was almost the lead in Forrest Gump.
What else would there be to talk about?
Those are both amazing.
I'll never watch Forrest Gump the same, man.
What could have been?
It's the only way I want to see that movie now.
Two stars for this movie that takes place in part or completely in Italy.
1991.
Leonard says it's wildly overblown.
And he also says that it's got some good action scenes.
Wildly overblown.
Some good action scenes. 1991ly overblown. Some good action scenes.
1991.
In theaters.
Ciao.
13 names.
91.
And I can't ask any other questions about it.
I should guess.
Correct.
I shouldn't even have answered that one.
Godfather 3.
Out of 13 names,
how many do you think...
Totally forgot that part of it.
Bull moves, eh?
Did I get it though?
Let's just play and you'll see
Okay, I can do it in six names
Okay, Kyle
Do it in six names
You guys just refused to say name that movie
Okay, six names what's that name that movie okay
well done plugged it i plugged it my money's on kyle
your six names are leonardo chimino frank stallone, Lorraine Toussaint, Andrew Braniarski, Harvey. Six names.
Out of 13.
Just name a movie from around 1991 that you think has scenes
in Italy.
I'm just saying, just name a movie
that fits that description
as far as you know.
Pizza Time.
No, it's Godfather.
No, I'm kidding.
I really think that Godfather 3
came out around then
because I remember seeing it in college.
I think that's a good guess.
I think it's a reasonable guess,
but the actual answer is Hudson Hawk.
And that means Kyle is our winner.
That's it winner that's it
best two out of three
we've gone three minutes over
the allotted time
apologies to comedy bang bang
I say that most weeks
thank you Anthony Jesselnik,
for not being here.
I think it probably would have been awkward
if he was here.
Does diarrhea get any gifts?
Well, you can give diarrhea
the thank you card if you want.
Yeah.
And gummy bear Mike Diarrhea the thank you card if you want. Yeah. And
Mike,
Gummy Bear Mike will get the
magazine. Is that fair, Gummy Bear Mike?
I mean, you didn't fucking even fucking try
to fucking make a
name tag, so you'll settle
for that, right? You forgot how to spell
diarrhea, didn't you?
It's so hard to spell.
Yeah, how do you spell
diarrhea? How do you spell it? It don't know where the H goes. It's so hard to spell. Yeah, how do you spell diarrhea?
How do you spell it?
It's like Rhea Perlman, but backwards.
No, D-I-A-H.
No, no, no, we're doing diarrhea.
We're doing diarrhea.
We're doing diarrhea.
You don't have any thank you cards
I've written to diarrhea in my life?
None.
Well, no, that's not true.
There was that one night we played
Splattergories.
It's D-I-A-R-R
H-E-A.
Yeah.
Just like the movie Diary
of a Wimpy Kid.
That's the next thing that came up on Google after diarrhea.
Why not Diary of Anne Frank?
Why Diary of a Wimpy Kid?
Is that already a more famous diary?
It's done so much more for the world.
You guys got any plugs you want to throw in?
Wow, he's sealing it
Now it's like a magic trick
It's going to open up and there's just a chicken in there
I thought you were going to write her name on the phone
D-I-A-H
If you'll just give me your address so I can get it delivered
Like a telegram
A telegram for diarrhea?
What's your social?
Oh, come get your prizes, diarrhea.
I mean, Mike.
Mike, no diarrhea.
But diarrhea
does get to name a shithead.
Lou Holtz for hating on West Virginia. Oh, okay, alright. Hangead. Lou Holtz for hating on West Virginia.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Hang on.
Lou Holtz for what reason?
Hating on West Virginia University a lot.
Okay.
Okay.
There you go, dude.
Congratulations, Mike.
Snackers really do win is the new promotional gimmick.
Do you have anybody you'd like me to call a shithead
zach no don't say it out loud uh just just write it down because because everyone already knows
lou holtz it has to be some sort of surprise at the end so just anybody you want just write it
down on that that line right there kyle you got any road gigs coming up? Yeah I'm going on tour next week I'll throw over KyleKanane.com
People can get your dates go see him
Super funny dude
I'm going to be at the LA Podcast Festival
You should come to that you'll probably be around
It's October
I ain't going to no podcast festival
No it's going to be fun.
It's like this, but in Santa Monica.
Oh, yeah, I like doing podcasts out there.
Ferris wheel.
LAPodcast.com for more information on that.
You really don't have a Twitter, right?
I have an account, but I don't like it.
You don't do anything with it?
I don't like it.
Okay.
I don't like to tweet.
I'm not a Twitter tweeter.
Okay.
I was a cutter in high school, though.
What's that, the guy in the back of the boat?
What's that guy called?
Cutty.
Cutty.
Cutty Shark. Cutty Shark We'll cut this part out
Why?
Who just beeped?
Someone's taking a photo
Oh
Oh
You like to look British
In your every photo?
Yeah
Does this look British?
So you launch into that accent
Doing bad teeth.
No.
I've never heard that one.
All right, let's just,
we can do this backstage.
Whatever this is.
Thanks again to Kyle Kinane
and Zach Galifianakis
and Anthony Jesselmick.
And as always, Lou Holtz is a shithead
Thank you diarrhea
And
Anthony Jesselnik is a shithead He hides a bolt in view and prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies!