Doug Loves Movies - Zach Galifianakis, Sarah Silverman, and Rory Scovel Guest
Episode Date: June 11, 2013Doug welcomes comedians Zach Galifianakis, Sarah Silverman, and Rory Scovel to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/priv...acy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seats with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth.
They're still not warm that he won't sleep, cause Doug loves movies.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talking...
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles
on Tuesday, June 11th, 2 Oceans 13.
Is my mug funky tonight or something?
It feels like not as hot as usual.
Since last I spoke and you listened,
I was honored to have the opportunity
to interrupt Breaking Away in the city
where it was filmed, Bloomington, Indiana,
as part of the first annual Limestone Comedy Festival.
I also did a dining with Doug and Karen
with guest Pete Holmes,
the great... guest Pete Holmes. The great ing Pete
Holmes
that is available to listen to
right now if you like
listening to things that are annoying.
I hope there's a second annual
Limestone Fest because I would love to come
back and interrupt another
Indiana classic, Hoosiers
or maybe an
Indiana Jones movie
speaking of which I'm doing a
Benson interruption of Indiana Jones and the
Last Crusade at CineFamily here in LA
on Father's Day
who's the man now doc
and I
am pleased to say
that I'll be bringing Benson movie interruptions
to cinemas across the country
coming soon
first stop Austin, Texas in July
this Thursday I'll be appearing
in David Cross and Friends
at the Chicago Theater as part of the
Just for Laughs Chicago with
Brian Posehn, Paul Tompkins
and Todd Glass and of course
David Cross
pretty shitty lineup Brian Posehn, Paul Tompkins, and Todd Glass, and of course David Cross.
Pretty shitty lineup.
All past and future guests of Doug Loves Movies.
What else did I want to do? Oh, really quick, before
we get this going,
I've been doing these five-second films
with these gentlemen that are called
Five Second Films.
At 5SF on Twitter.
And podcast listeners, I do apologize
because the video component is very important on some of these.
But I just want you to hear how funny people think they are
by playing a few right now.
And they also feature another popular guest from this show.
So let's go ahead and roll that.
And see what happens.
Five Second Films dot com.
You're being such a heavy metal C-3PO right now.
Tell me something I don't know.
I wish this couch was a toilet.
I'm not a genie.
You look like one and I just shit your couch.
What's up with your dog? He just ate a genie. You look like one, and I just shit your couch.
What's up with your dog?
He just ate a little Mexican.
His name was Richard, and he was from El Salvador.
Want to hit Little Tokyo?
Five Second Films! All right.
We watched five of them.
That is a short-ass festival.
So anyway, those guys are great,
and they've actually written a screenplay
that they want to produce,
and they went to Kickstarter
because they don't have Zach Braff money.
And so I forget how much they need to get to make the movie but they promised that I'll be in
it so if that helps you to go to find their Kickstarter and contribute that would be awesome.
The prize bag has a lot of crazy stuff in it that I'll describe a couple of the things
that I brought.
I brought a shirt from a restaurant in Bloomington called Munchito's,
which Munchito's is a delicious Mexican food place that when I was walking home drunk,
I just waved my arms in the window until someone that worked there recognized me,
and then they let me in and cooked
for me i don't i don't play that very often but that night i did and it worked and i was i was
delighted and uh yeah and there's a copy of a smug life in here and we'll talk about the rest
of the stuff in here with with the person who brought all this stuff. Hopefully everybody's here.
Please welcome three of my favorites,
Rory Scovel, Sarah Silverman, and Zach Galifianakis.
Thank you. Yay! Yay. Yay.
Y'all settled, Sarah?
You know, I like to have my things arranged,
and I forgot to put red on my face.
So just... Okay.
We'll talk to everybody else first.
Zach Galifianakis is here, you guys.
Describe your prizes that you brought tonight.
You brought this.
These are coins from around the world.
And a Scottish...
From the Bank of Scotland
or whatever it's called.
Scottish dollar.
Oh, it's just a dollar?
It's 10 Scottish dollars.
Is that 10 pounds?
I don't know.
I think it's an old one.
Anyway, there's a nickel from Brazil
and I brought
my big fat Greek wedding.
I went to that.
It was beautiful.
I've never seen it.
I've never seen it, so I don't think I'll watch it.
So I don't need it.
You'd think you'd really like it, though, because you're so...
Yeah, I got it.
You're such a Greek person.
That's right.
But my uncle called me once when this movie came out
and he called
and he's very Greek
and he has a tracheotomy voice
and he's
he goes
Son, have you seen
my big fat Greek wedding?
And I said
No.
He goes
Don't.
And he wasn't
he wasn't trying to be funny.
It is the most racist film
I have ever seen in my life.
So he doesn't use Windex on every ailment?
He does not.
My father does.
Okay, it's very true.
You brought Laugh Factory Magazine
from April 1994.
Latest edition of Laugh Factory magazine.
With
Tames Allen, Tim Allen.
And tell us about
this book. I had two Cambodia
books. He has more than one. I didn't need
the other one, so.
How often do you, is your
other Cambodia book real dog-eared? Do you
flip through it a lot? Yeah, to reminisce.
Even though I've never been.
Rory Scovel is also here, everybody.
He has a very special gift to offer the winner tonight.
Yeah, I forgot my gift.
I forgot to bring a thing tonight.
But I'm going to record a vinyl and
if you win, you just have to give me your
address and I'll send it to you when it's out.
Seems like a lot
of trouble.
You know, the moment that I said to Doug, I was like
I can make up for not bringing a gift. I was like
I think maybe I'm going a little too big.
Like, I'm going to get your address.
You're not going to see that album,
is what I'm saying.
There's no way I'm delivering that.
Who do you think you are, the government?
Like, why so much information do you need?
I need your Twitter feed.
I need to know everything.
Your social?
Current.
Yes.
And Sarah Silverman is here, you guys.
That was fun. Yes And Sarah Silverman is here you guys Thank you so much Each and every one of you
It's you that's made me, me
She brought season 2 volume 2
Of the Sarah Silverman program
Does that season have a big fat gay wedding in it? Volume 2 of the Sarah Silverman program.
Does that season have a big fat gay wedding in it?
Do they ever get married on the show?
I don't know. I have a drawer of these.
I'm sure it's wonderful.
I don't know if this is... Anyway, maybe.
And then that's a lacrosse ball,
which is great for just rolling against.
It's so good on your muscles.
And I, you know, I signed it because, I mean, you know.
Yeah, and you wrote on it, you wrote, get your knots out.
Yeah.
And your name and a little heart, a little heart too.
You could also play with it in a sticky situation.
Any innuendo is corny
and not my intention, but I'm just saying, you know,
you throw it against a wall, it could take up
some time in your life. Oh, yeah.
It's the perfect time killer.
It's the perfect time killer. I love it.
I always have one in my bag.
I have one in my bag.
Jordan, where's your baseball?
Oh, shit.
Can you get lacrosse balls
just at a sporting goods place?
I'll tell you what I did, Rory.
I went on Amazon and just put in...
Lacrosse balls.
Lacrosse balls, and I got a bag of them,
all sorts of colors,
and I do go through them,
because eventually they get a little dirty,
and you just want to move on.
Yeah, I do.
Sarah, you just got back from your making
a motion picture that's a Western?
Motion Western picture?
With Seth
McFarlane? That's right, Doug.
Tell us about it.
I think it's gonna be
so funny, and
it's my cup of tea, I guess.
What's it called? But I'm so lonely there.
A Million Ways to Die in the West.
And who are the
co-stars?
Seth McFarlane stars in it.
Okay.
Charlize Theron.
Anybody we know?
Liam Neeson.
Oh, she's good.
Amanda Seyfried.
Neil Patrick Harris, who...
Just hosted the Tonys.
How mind-blowing was that?
He killed it again.
It was so good.
You loved it, didn't you, Zach?
I didn't get a chance to see that one.
Oh, you didn't get a chance?
Is it good?
To check out the Tonys?
First of all, how did he do that magic trick?
How did he jump through that hoop?
Let's take some calls.
Let's try to get the answer.
Because I don't think anyone here knows or cares.
I care.
How many people watched the Tonys on Sunday?
Yeah, that was my answer.
Did you watch it?
I did, I loved it.
He did, he loves that.
In a hotel room in Indiana,
I just sat there transfixed.
But especially that Neil Patrick Harris,
he should host everything,
because he can come up with a number that seems like
he's been rehearsing it for years.
I've been in Santa Fe with him this whole time.
I couldn't believe that the Tonys
was just on Sunday. I don't know how
he did that.
He's pretty talented. There was not a single
gaffe. There were so many jokes anyway.
This is about movies and games
and you guys.
Don't forget Cambodia.
The book, Cambodia.
The book, the movie, the cereal, the holiday.
Do they already have a release date for things to do in Denver when you're Jewish?
I think Memorial Day next year.
Ooh, okay.
I mean, I don't know. That's what I heard.
It's not like I get told things.
What's the budge?
Trying to get a feel for the movie.
According to them,
very, very small.
Zach asks a lot of questions when he's got his Newsies cap on.
He wants to get
the whole story.
I used to ask for change
in this hat.
That joke's 17 years old.
For the listeners,
it's a visor.
Yes.
It was funny.
Zach, have you been to the movies lately?
Have you seen anything?
The Purge?
No, I do want to see that.
Really?
Is it any good? Have you seen it?
I don't know.
It seems like it's a great premise that might be...
They don't live up to it.
Yeah, that sounds familiar.
The... it yeah that sounds familiar uh the oh is this i think super high me delivered on that
on the uh on the premise you're gonna cut you will you cut that out
i don't want to make fun of my movie i don't mind oh
trying to cover for a guy yeah so um uh what have you seen anything like even it can even be like an
old movie that you recommend i saw king of comedy last night that's fantastic amazing movie yeah
great movie that scene where the lady's on the phone and she asked jerry lewis when he's walking
down the street you know can you talk to my sister or something when he says no i'm in a hurry what
does she say uh you I hope you die of cancer
or something like that
yeah I hope you get cancer
you should only get cancer
right
yeah
but it starts off as
like we're your biggest fans
and it just turns like that
yeah
and that's
that is
Twitter in a nutshell
yeah will you follow me
fuck you
is like
can I walk with you
fucking bitch you know yeah yeah it's really Will you follow me? Fuck you. It was like, can I walk with you? Fucking bitch.
Yeah, it's really...
Rory, pick up your microphone.
What have you seen lately, Rory?
Give Sarah a little time to think about her answer.
I did see The Purge.
You did?
It's so bad.
It's so, so bad.
Made you want to puke?
I mean...
Oh, thank you.
Made me want to, duh.
The whole, yeah, the whole first part of the movie,
they're just trying to convince you
that this should be a movie.
You made a right decision.
Trust us, everything is logical.
Of course this would be an event that actually occurs.
Eyes up here.
At one point in the movie, they say, eyes up here.
It's horrible. It's awful.
Because everybody just uses the no-laws night to kill.
It would be so interesting to see other people
figuring out interesting things to do
with being able to break the law.
You know what I mean?
I would have a field day at Walmart.
What would you do at Walmart?
I'd go to the spray can
paint section and grab
some of those and then just
write stuff all over the store.
You can do that.
You can do that anyway?
You can just spray paint the walls in Walmart.
Yeah.
There's G-rated purging for you.
Zach is so out of touch now that he's a star
because he actually can do that
and they thank him for it.
Yeah, I rented a Walmart once.
Sarah was there.
Fuck.
As the greeter.
I doled out those invisible hand stamps.
Stop talking.
This is what happened is,
sometimes when I do this podcast,
I get here, we're hanging out,
the show hasn't started,
and we puff a little pot,
and it's no big deal,
and then eventually the show starts.
I got in my head that
that was cool to do.
And so I got here
really late, sucked down
pot, and then sat here
in like 40 seconds.
And it's not the same.
It's like that Groundhog Day scene where
he keeps getting to that point where they're throwing
snowballs and falling into the
Point taken
Pick another movie and describe it
Because that was captivating
Or one that you've seen.
Have you seen anything recently?
Have you seen Francis Ha?
That seems like something
we should have seen together.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah.
It was good?
Yeah.
Yeah, it looks good.
I saw Oblivion.
It's the only movie
I've seen really.
Oh, the full title
is Oblivion LOL.
Francis Ha?
Oh. I got it. Something different. Oh, LOL. Frances Ha? Oh.
I got it.
Something different.
Oh, I totally didn't understand.
Have you guys seen
The Place Beyond the Pines, LMAO?
What did you see?
What did you say?
Oblivion.
I'm so excited about it.
Why did you see Oblivion?
Why did you see thation why did you see that um because kyle
and i wanted to see a movie and um he already saw into darkness and he really wanted to see
oblivion we both are big tom cruise fans yeah tom cruise and it was fun it wasn't you know it was
fun i feel like it could have been great but instead it was fun it was wasn't, you know, it was fun. It was fun? I feel like it could have been great.
But instead it was fun.
It was, you know, I mean, there's some holes, I guess, but I don't know.
It was fun to watch.
Are you sure you're not talking about After Earth?
I love Day and Night.
I don't know if that was his last movie, but better than this.
But this was good.
Why is that funny?
Day and Night was great.
Tom Cruise again.
Night and Day, that was called.
That's why.
Jesus Christ, I need coffee or something.
I'm laughing at how thrown off I was by just switching the names.
I wouldn't know
if you said Grace and Will, what that is.
What are you talking about?
It was crazy. Night and day. That's how much I loved it.
Shirley and Laverne? That's not a thing.
You asshole.
There was
tension in here. People were not happy
with that mix-up. Day and night!
I was just thinking of
completely different... She was referencing some old black and night! I was just thinking of completely different, like she
was referencing some old black and white...
That was a crazy mistake, though.
No, no. I thought you were talking
about the Truffaut film, Day 4 Night.
It's like saying, oh my god, my
favorite movie is Hall Annie.
Do you guys know Hall Annie? I know every line.
I would think
you were dumb if you said that. I'm on your side.
Or just like the richest person.
That's how you address all movies.
Call Annie.
Thank you.
It's fantastic.
And you know that in Night and Day,
no one is named Day.
That's not a person's name.
There's a guy named Night,
and then just,
and Day.
That's what we'll call her.
It's weird.
But it's not a terrible movie.
Please, please, Sarah, use your microphone voice.
Do you guys want to play some games?
One game in particular?
The Leonard Maltin game
would be fun to play.
And before we do that,
we need each of you to pick a name tag
of who you would like to play for.
And Sarah, keep in mind,
there is a time limit on this.
We're looking for you to get a name tag today.
There you go.
She's already stressing out over it.
It's already too much for her to handle.
It's so quiet
this time.
Rory's already got one.
So Rory's my favorite.
I've got one.
Doug's Movies Loves Podcast.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
So Zach kind of left the room and went around the block.
Okay, now he's... Here, Sarah, hold yours up for me.
Your name tag, let me see it.
Who are you playing for?
Tell us who you're playing for.
I'm playing for Kevin.
Kevin?
Kevin?
There he is.
Okay, there's Kevin. And Zach, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Kevin. Kevin? Kevin? There he is. Okay, there's Kevin.
And Zach, who are you playing for?
Uh, am I supposed to know their name?
Yeah.
Transformers the ride. Oh.
Kim.
Kim is her name, and I have a Transformers
the ride
3D. That's her
badge, like, operating the ride?
Yeah. Yeah.
My job's in jeopardy.
Now, Kim, so you are one of the
people there loading the people onto the ride?
Was. Was. Okay.
Oh. Yeah.
I'm over at Jurassic Park now.
Some kid died. I was two years at Legoland. I thought over at Jurassic Park now. Some kid died.
I was two years at Legoland.
I thought I'd go up.
But just do for me really quickly
an impression of how the Transformers people
get the folks onto the cars.
Let's move! Move! Move!
It's so fucking funny.
They all scream at you.
Move! Move! Move!
Like it's a military operation
and I was dying laughing
and not moving
because I do not care
for authority figures
how was the ride?
and the ride is really fun
it's a really good
where is the ride?
is it Six Flags?
no it's
Transformers is at
Universal Studios
Kim you don't work there anymore? no I still work there just not at the ride No, it's Transformers is at Universal Studios.
Kim, you don't work there anymore?
No, I still work there, just not at the rides.
She's just not at that ride.
Can you hook up some free rides?
Was it a promotion or just a sidestep or what?
We'll call it a sidestep.
Sidestep, okay.
Can you tell us what attraction you're on now?
You seem to be kind of secretive about it.
Now I'm at the end of the ride.
Get off! Get off off get out of here yeah they do have an attitude change but during the course of the ride because after it's over they're like welcome back which is how the troops should be So Go go go
Welcome home
Thank you
What ride is it?
No I work in costumes
Oh in costumes
In a costume or
No I dress people
She dresses other people
Like who?
Who?
People riding the rides?
There's a lot of characters
Running around doing stuff there
Like who do you dress? Are there Like the fuzzy characters There's a lot of characters running around doing stuff there.
Like, who do you dress?
Are there... Like the fuzzy characters.
The fuzzy characters?
We've got fuzzy and non-fuzzy characters.
I mean, is there anybody we know?
Like, is it a name?
She's got to dress the Blues Brothers.
Welcome to Transformers.
Wonk-a-wonk-a-wonk.
Wonk-a-wonk-a-dee-wonk.
We're the fuzzies.
I've always wanted to meet Alf.
Be Alf or meet Alf?
I'd like to meet Alf.
Meet Alf.
You don't work with Alf, do you?
I've always wanted to be Alf.
Do you know anybody that works with Alf?
He kills me.
I kill me.
He kills himself.
Who are you playing for, Sarah?
I already told you I'm playing for Kevin.
Yeah, I just asked again just to clarify.
Sorry I snapped at you.
Did Kevin write a shithead on the back of his Polaroid?
He sure did.
Oh, goody. You're keeping it a secret. I like that.
Rory?
Yes.
Who was that again?
It's a What About Bob poster.
I'm playing for Justin.
He had a What About Bob poster.
It's What About Justin.
Very clever pun instead of Bob, Justin.
I saw it.
I was like, you know, what about Justin?
Let's get to know him.
That's a great pick, Rory.
He signed it.
Thank you, Justin.
Okay, so let's have Rory go first,
followed by Sarah,
and then Zach,
and the first person to two points will be the victor.
And it's just for fun.
And also, whoever wins tonight, I will ask you to return and do the show again next week to defend your title.
So keep that in mind.
If you don't want to come back next week,
just fucking throw this thing. Yeah.
Just mess it up.
But also, you're under no obligation to come back.
It would just disappoint the children.
I'm going to be out of town
where I'm filming. Do you have to go back?
Yes.
Okay, I'm sorry.
You don't hang out with Charlize
On the set
Yeah she's cool
I mean yeah
But you still feel lonely somehow
No on the set it's fun
Then you leave the set
She's like
No I'm not
I'm not like trying to hang out with people
She actually looks at Sarah
And makes that
She actually says that to Sarah
I'm out of here
By the way, don't call my room
Good work today
I know the fact that I'm saying this
Makes it seem like it's not true
But I am popular.
I just feel alone inside my head a bit.
You create your own loneliness.
That's how you do it.
Yeah.
So we'll start with Rory.
Okay.
The categories are
sad, lonely people.
That's very easy.
No, that'd be a weird category.
Oh.
Would you like
a man,
a underscore man,
underscore named,
underscore Tim.
That's the last time
I'm going to say that name on here.
He suggested Doug loves newbies, and that's films by first-time directors. A underscore man underscore named underscore Tim. That's the last time I'm going to say that name on here.
He suggested Doug Loves Newbies,
and that's films by first-time directors.
So the first movie by a director. Or at Mean Laquefa suggested...
Who is that person?
Who is that?
Someone on Twitter called themselves
Mean Laquifa.
I have to meet that person.
How do you meet them?
You just go on
to your Twitter account.
Oh, fuck.
I get it.
Wait till you hear the suggestion
that me and Laquifa made.
Hook a brother up
and that's movies
where a black person fishes.
I'll take him to lunch.
Zach Galifianakis wants to take me and Laquifa to lunch.
Or go fishing, maybe, or something.
I think that one.
I think hook a brother up. Or you get three choices. I think Hooker Brother Up.
Or you get three choices.
I already know, but go ahead.
Celebrating a birthday today, The Great Gene Wilder.
So the films of The Great Gene Wilder.
So now which one are you going to pick?
The films of Gene Wilder?
I have such a better chance at that.
Do you?
Then Black People Fishing?
It never stands out enough for me
in the movie
to remember it.
I feel like in the black people fishing category
every single one's gonna be
Danny Glover.
Every single one.
Punch.
Which one would you like, Rory?
Let's do Gene Wilder.
Okay.
Now they're a great... Sorry.
Really upset some people.
Ah, fuck this.
Well, it'll be fun.
The next show, we'll get to say that again. It'll get a big laugh because those people won't have ah, fuck this. Well, it'll be fun. The next show we'll get to say that again
and it'll get a big laugh
because those people won't have heard this episode yet.
1979 is the year.
And Leonard Maltin gives this movie
that has Gene Wilder in it two and a half stars.
He calls the movie, he says it has an offbeat story.
And he also says that
that this movie has
some charming vignettes.
Good Lord.
Yeah.
Offbeat Story, charming vignettes.
I can't think of something nice to say.
Bring up vignettes.
These are terrible clues.
1979, two and a half stars.
And Leonard lists only seven names.
So how many names do you think you can get it in?
Rory Scovel.
Do you know the name of your new album?
No.
That's a very negative name for an album.
It's called No.
I got an A over there.
How many names do you want, Rory? It's called no. I got an ahhh over there. Ahhh.
How many names do you want, Rory?
Since I am horrible at this game,
I'm going to go for seven.
Seven total names.
So, Sarah, do you think that you can get it in less or that he might not be able to get it in seven?
I have an idea of what it could be,
but it seems too easy.
Maybe I'll try it
with six
but I don't know.
Maybe or
definitely.
Yeah, I'll say six.
Okay, she said six, Zach.
So,
you can either tell her
to name that movie
or
Yeah, name that movie.
or bid lower.
But can I say something?
You should name
your new
album
Mean La Queefa.
Please, just do it.
Just do it.
I mean, that...
I don't know, though, but...
Could that guy sue or something?
Yeah, don't do it.
It's his joke, yeah.
Nah, I'm doing that.
I'm doing that.
Okay, good.
The clues again, Sarah.
Two and a half stars.
1979. Offbeat story. Two and a half stars. 1979.
Offbeat story.
Some charming vignettes.
And your six names are Penny Pizer,
Leo Fuchs,
Fuck.
George Ralph DiCenzo,
Oh my God.
Val Bisoglio,
Slow down a second.
I'm just trying to get to the one that's going to matter.
Ramone Berry.
And...
Gene Wilder.
No.
You get six names.
Yeah, he's in the one slot.
Wilder wasn't like a supporting actor in most of this.
Right?
Name one.
Stir Crazy.
He was a supporting actor in Stir Crazy?
No, but I
would say he
was probably
second build
at that time.
I don't know.
Who is the
next name?
Harrison Ford.
What?
God.
Oh my
God.
Oh my
God.
You do not
know the
name of a
movie that
starred Gene Wilder and Harrison Ford
from 1970.
That's it.
That's the name of it.
How is this possible?
That'd be a good name too for a DVD.
Why is this happening?
Okay, we'll pick up the microphone
and call time into it, officially.
I'm going to need to talk this through
and then you'll just have to edit out this time.
Like in Millionaire.
Why would we edit it out?
Because what if it takes an hour for me to think this through?
This isn't poker.
I'm going to start counting down.
From 72.
Either I'm going to be kicking myself or be like,
I didn't even know about this
Harrison Ford
and Gene Wilder
with Gene Wilder
being the number one name
1979
so I was
I mean
I wasn't even born yet
move move
move move
let's do 20 questions
move
move people
move it
move
20 questions
I should just be out.
I don't want to waste your time.
I'm going to think until you kick me out.
You're kicked out.
You don't leave.
It's not 12 guests at Christmas.
You're still in it.
You still have a chance.
But Zach does get a point
for asking you to name it.
Because you're out of time.
You don't have an answer.
I'm out though, right? No, we're playing to name it. Because you're out of time. You don't have an answer. I'm out though, right?
No, we're playing to two points.
Trust me, you're winning
if you remember the rules.
She thinks that's not how it always is.
The 12 Guests at Christmas show
throws you off.
That's where you get kicked out
if you lose.
And the name of the movie
is The Frisco Kid.
Yes.
Oh my God. Yes.
It's very Jewish, yeah.
Fucking motherfucker.
I like that movie. I love that movie.
I can't fucking believe this. If I thought
if you gave me ten more seconds, I would have
gone. Just kidding.
But oh yeah, wow. But you should look into that.
Do like a gender role reversal
version of that movie.
Maybe like you and
Susan Lynch.
Who?
Jane Lynch?
Who's Susan Lynch?
My neighbor, Susan Lynch.
She's got it.
She's got it as soon as someone sees it.
I want that Limitless pill.
Just for this.
I became amazing at podcasting.
I think Sam Levine has those pills.
Okay, so you get to go first again, Rory.
But then next time we reverse the order and we go to Zach.
And you get to...
No crosstalk, please.
We're back on crosstalk.
Directed by Robert Altman.
Would you like celebrating a birthday today also?
Another one of the greats, Mr. Peter Dinklage.
Yeah, old Dinkity-Doo.
I don't know how old he is. Peter Dicklage. Yeah, old Dinkity Doo. I don't know how old he is.
Peter Dicklage.
Dinklage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I mean, that's his entire life in one sentence.
Sorry, did you say Dick Lynch-ing?
A Dick Lynch?
No, I didn't say that.
No, you said Susan Lynch.
Smith.
I said Smith.
In theaters now,
that of course is movies
that are in theaters now.
Or...
Tricky.
No one ever picks this,
so that might be tempting to you.
You're a ballsy player.
You're right.
Four weddings and a funeral.
And that's Sinatra films
because he was married four times
and now he's dead.
I won't throw that category out
because it gets a laugh every time.
I'm going to go with
movies that are currently happening.
In theaters.
In theaters now.
Yes.
Leonard doesn't give
a star rating
to movies that are
in theaters now.
He writes a really long review.
Lovely flashback thing.
That I will have to
I will have to pick out
of a long review
some stuff that doesn't
give it away.
He says he wouldn't recommend this movie
to anyone who is highly squeamish.
He also says that this movie is adequate
but hardly inspired.
And he lists two names.
How many names
do you need
to discern
the title of this film?
I hate this game
because it just embarrasses me.
I'm stupid and
I'm going to go two.
Good. So now if I lose, you remember how
that two.
I'm going to do two names. He says he wants two names, Zach.
That would be the whole cast. What am I?
That he's listed. Because now we go around the other way?
Yeah.
Can I tell him to name it?
You can do that, but then he'll hear both names. Yeah, I know. Can I tell him to name it? Is that part?
You can do that, but then he'll hear both names.
Yeah, I know that part.
And then he could name it, yes.
You think you know it?
No, I don't.
I'm kind of excited about what's going to happen.
Give him the names
Let's do it
Say Rory Scoville
Name that movie
Rory Scoville name that movie
Say spaghetti
I say that a lot
It's easy
That's an easy one
This is like a behind the scenes of Zach's acting process
Yeah without the coke That's an easy one. This is like a behind the scenes of Zach's acting process.
Yeah, without the coke.
I've never done it.
I've never done it.
Me neither.
Let's try something. I've never done it.
Let's do it.
So glad I never had to do it again.
There's some funny cocaine action in This is the End.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's very funny.
Okay.
Open's tomorrow. Your two names. Oh. Yeah. It's very funny. Okay. Opens tomorrow.
Your two names,
your two names,
reading from the bottom
to the top,
are Will Smith
and Jaden Smith.
I wouldn't know it.
I wouldn't know that.
I wouldn't know it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I wouldn't know this.
What's it called, Rory?
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
Don't say it yet.
Don't say it yet.
Because I don't know this.
How many words is it?
Has anyone told you
you look like Michael Douglas
in Liberace?
Why, thank you What is it called Rory?
After Earth
Yes
Okay so Rory has a point
And Zach you have to leave
I leave?
I'm kidding
If I said it to Sarah She would have got up has a point, and Zach, you have to leave. I leave? I'm kidding.
If I said it to Sarah,
she would have got up.
Have you seen Afterbirth?
That's a great one.
Ugh, word play.
Master.
He's a word playa.
Alright, so that means that Sarah gets to pick a category.
And then we go to Zach.
Yeah.
And Sarah, would you like two thumbs down?
That's movies that Roger Ebert, the great late Roger Ebert,
gave less than two stars.
Or The Dark Knightley,
that's a movie where Keira Knightley kills someone.
Or
the Werner Herzog Memorial category.
He's not dead.
Movies that have a colon in the title.
Because he very much enjoys the films
that have a colon.
Wait, and is it also
the Frank Sinatra one
or it's just the ones
you just said?
You know, if you really love
the Frank Sinatra one,
I will make an exception
and refuse to let you
pick that category.
I can only think of two anyway.
Maybe those are the same two
I thought of.
I know.
Colon.
Which one of those?
You like Keira Knightley
killed somebody?
No.
Ebert didn't care for it?
That's a wide array of films.
That could just be any movie.
So Colin could be like any sequel ever made, pretty much.
Fuck.
Dealer's choice.
I'll let you do Sinatra just to finally get it off the table. I don't know.
Yeah, but I literally can only think of two movies that he's...
All right, name them, and if you're right on either of them,
I don't know what I would offer.
Just to burn it out, and then we'll do another one?
No, that's interesting.
Okay, name two Sinatra films.
Guys and Dolls and Manchurian Candidate?
Manchurian Candidate? Manchurian Candidate?
You got one.
One was correct.
Oh, was I supposed
to get both?
Well, I'm not going
to say what the answer
What was it?
It was probably
Guys and Dolls
and I was like,
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Colon.
Cancer.
That's the one you want?
That's the kind of cancer
you want?
2006.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
This movie
is the third installment in a series.
Hence the colon.
He says that
It's the third in a series?
He says this one benefits from a change of scenery.
And he lists ten names.
How many names, Sarah Silverman?
Eight names. We've got a minute left to play. Eight names.
One minute. eight names we've got a minute left to play eight names one minute Zach
Zach are you up?
yeah
just trying to strategize
eight out of ten
everybody can just be quiet for a second
please be quiet
I think I'm going to let Sarah name them
I think just name them
Just name them
Alright Sarah
Here's the eight names
And please audience don't gasp too loudly
When you all know exactly what it is
Actually no it might not be This is interesting And please, audience, don't gasp too loudly when you all know exactly what it is.
Actually, no, it might not be.
This is interesting.
2006.
Yes.
J.J. Sonny Chiba.
Never heard of him.
Nikki Griffin.
Linda Boyd.
Bow Wow.
Doesn't ring a bell.
Oh, I know what it... Oh, no, I don't.
Amber Stevens. David V. know what it... Amber Stevens.
David V. Thomas.
Daniel Bucco.
Zachary Ty...
Wait, how many names?
Zachary Ty Bryan is your last name.
Are you reading the...
Did you say Bow Wow was in it?
Bow Wow.
That's probably your...
That dates it a little, I think.
Yeah.
Third in a series.
Has a colon.
That's it?
That was eight?
You don't strike me as a person
who knows what happens after most colons.
In titles, you know what I mean?
You don't remember those.
First Blood.
Boogaloo.
Boogaloo.
First Blood, Boogaloo.
If someone doesn't make First Blood, Boogaloo.
Mean Laquiva Presents.
First Blood.
First Blood, Boogaloooo Just do it Rory okay
Finally Rambo's a musical
Any ideas
Oh
Say it
Is
Are the other two names black people
That's only the fourth time that's ever been asked on this podcast.
I'm pretty sure neither of them are.
But also, you're not supposed to get clues like that.
Oh, that was a big clue.
You're a cheater.
Because it's definitely not what I thought it was, though.
What do you think it was?
I don't know.
Maybe like a Method Man, Red Man kind of joint.
You were that excited about narrowing it down
to nowhere near an actual title?
I go to the same dentist as Method Man.
I think even the last two names won't help you.
All right.
And even if you're on the right track,
it's a complicated title, so you might not get it.
I give up.
I give up.
So who asked you to name it?
Zach did?
So Zach is the winner.
I'm happy for you, Zach.
If it couldn't be me, I wanted it to be you.
Kim, go, go, go.
Get this bag.
Take this bag, soldier.
Take this bag now, Kim.
Come get this goddamn bag, Kim, before I fucking smash your fucking head in, Kim. Go, go, go, go, go. Get this bag. Take this bag, soldier. Take this bag now, Kim. Go get this goddamn bag, Kim,
before I fucking smash your fucking head in, Kim.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Oh, that's right.
She doesn't expect authority either.
Congratulations, Kim.
Your badge?
Did I say the name of the movie?
No, don't.
No, I said, did I?
Oh, no.
I want to.
I was going to do a special.
Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift.
Oh, my God.
Bow wow.
Shut up.
I wouldn't have known that.
I wouldn't have known it.
But is Vin Diesel in that?
No, that's the one where they went without him.
That's the Gene Dumanian years.
Yeah.
Lucas Black was the lead actor and is white.
He was the little boy in Sling Blade
and then he was in lots of stuff over the years.
He's a very good actor.
Hey, you watch Game of Thrones, right?
Yeah, sure, I've seen it.
Isn't the...
Is this a spoiler if I say something from like
seven episodes ago?
I don't think so.
The guy who chopped off...
No, no, no, no.
Please don't.
I'll just do this.
The guy who chopped off the person's hand
Sawyer equivalent
Isn't he from Shine?
Wasn't he young?
Is it Noah Taylor?
Yeah
Is that him?
And he was also in
He was the road manager
And almost famous with the band
Oh yeah
Alright
That's a point
I guess that wasn't so exciting.
Yeah, I gave myself a point,
so everybody got a point but you, Sarah.
That's okay.
I had a good time just being around human stimulation.
Yeah.
That is such a knock on Charlize Theron.
I'm sure she...
That is absolutely not.
She is so cool and nice,
and she's got the cutest little baby boy.
Oh, that's why she's ignoring you.
What?
She isn't.
I never said that.
You must do something about this guy.
Maybe by the time she exits,
she's trying to say she's got to change the baby's diaper.
Sarah, I got to go.
Diaper time.
Diaper time.
Let me see that shithead on the back of your Polaroid because you won that for your person that you played for, for Kevin.
At least I could do it for Kevin.
Okay, I don't get it, but all right.
And Rory, do you have a shithead on the back of the poster?
No?
He didn't have one. He's going to come write one down for me. And Rory, do you have a shithead on the back of the poster? No? He didn't have one.
He's going to come write one down for me.
And Rory, do you have anything you want to plug before we go?
Apologies to Put Your Hands Together.
We're going over by a few minutes here.
If you'll be in Nashville on June 22nd,
I'm going to do the album at Third Man Records.
So please come to it.
And it's free to get in?
Nashville is the best.
I don't know how much it is. Yeah, Nashville the best. I don't know how much it is.
Yeah, Nashville's great.
I don't know how much it is to get in.
Okay.
Probably a million bucks, so good luck.
How can they figure out where it is?
Do they just follow you on Twitter or go to RoryScoble.com?
Yeah, RoryScoble.com or ThirdManRecords.com.
It's all on there.
Beautiful.
Sarah, what are you doing?
You got some shows coming up or anything? Iords.com. It's all on there. Beautiful. Sarah, what are you doing?
You got some shows coming up or anything?
I don't know.
I guess, yeah.
You just recorded a new thing, a special?
Yeah.
When's that come on?
In November.
Not on TV, on HBO?
On HBO.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cool.
39 people.
What does that mean? In the audience.
You wanted it intimate or it rained that day?
That's all who showed up.
No, yeah, I did it in a tiny room.
Oh, okay.
It was probably a mistake.
Zach, what are you up to?
Got anything going on?
I have a DVD of my stand-up in front of 6,000 people.
I'm doing a Kickstarter campaign for my window-tinting business that I'm starting.
So I think if you just Google Kickstarter
and my name, it'll come up.
I'm trying to raise $63,000. I think if you just Google Kickstarter and my name, it'll come up.
I'm trying to raise $63,000.
I'm tapped out.
I'm trying to get back on my feet.
Thank you very much to my guests,
Rory Scovel, Sarah Silverman,
Zach Alpanakis.
You can come back next week if you want.
Zach might come back next week.
And then, as always,
the guy who shot Werner Herzog is a shithead.
Did he get shot?
Yeah, I guess so.
Today?
No.
Not today.
There's been enough.
And The Purge is a shithead.