Doug Loves Movies - Zach Galifianakis, Todd Glass, Craig Anton, and Jordan Brady Guest
Episode Date: January 13, 2011Zach Galifianakis drops in on scheduled guests Todd Glass, Craig Anton, and "I Am Comic" director Jordan Brady. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice ...at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
They're still not warm, then he won't sleep
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
My name is Doug Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies and louder microphones.
Could you give me a little bit more heat on this baby?
Maybe this one's hotter.
Hello? Oh, I like this one better.
Guest number one will get this shit mic.
This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater In Los Angeles on 11111
Last night we taped the Benson Interruption
The podcast at Largo in Los Angeles
And it will be available soon
Or now in the comedy album
Section of iTunes
And we'll be taping another one on
February 14th, 2011.
Tuesday, January 18th
I'll be at the Comedy Zone in
Jacksonville, Florida.
Then I pop over to Common Grounds
in Gainesville on Wednesday
and Thursday I'll be at the Back Booth
in Orlando.
Be sure to check out
live performances of the
Betsy Interruption at SF Sketch Fest
San Francisco Sketch Fest on January
28th and 30th with very
very special guests. Some of
whom have been on the TV
version. There'll be no new
Doug Loves Movies here next
week at UCB but
I will be taping it in studio
for your listening delightment. And we'll
be back here in two weeks with Comedy Death Ray auction winner Sean Sacame. And with any
luck, if I can make the bookings work out, some of his favorite Doug Loves Movies guests
will be here. And I'll tell you right now, so you can plan ahead for two weeks from now,
We'll be here, and I'll tell you right now, so you can plan ahead for two weeks from now.
Sean has good taste.
I saw a blue valentine today, and boy are my balls valentine.
I'm not saying that it's long and slow, but it's rated arduous.
My guest tonight, that was the monologue.
The monologue's always very short or doesn't exist at all.
It's like, hello, plugs, short monologue, my guests.
Continuing from the theme of last week's show,
all of my guests tonight are featured in the very entertaining documentary,
I Am Comic. Please welcome director Jordan Brady Craig Anton and
Todd glass everybody
Todd they're trying to clap long enough for you to get your ass in your seat now
this time Todd didn't
get as high as he did the last time he appeared on the show meaning he didn't
really get high at all except I blew a little bit in his face sounds like a
story sounds gross pick up your microphone Todd do I really have to walk
you through all of this you said hi you were going to walk us through it.
Hi, what about a black tablecloth over this?
Never thought about that.
It isn't a very attractive table.
But you know what?
That doesn't matter for the listener, though, does it?
It doesn't.
And when I come on your show, Todd Loves Tables,
we're going to talk about it for the whole time.
Todd Loves Tablecloths, it would say. Oh, yeah, yeah. whole time. Todd loves tablecloths.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You're much more into tablecloths and tables.
You just have a tablecloth at home that you sit on the floor and eat off of.
Jordan Brady.
Hey.
You made a movie.
Yeah.
You guys saw I Am Comic?
One person.
Yeah, everyone who's not clapping now is a communist.
No, but how can they see it?
What's the best way to see it?
Is it on... I Am Comic on iTunes, Netflix, Netflix On Demand,
IAmComicMovie.com,
but it costs the most there, so don't buy it there.
Oh, okay.
Like Amazon, it's really cheap.
Oh, okay.
How much is it on Amazon?
Like nine bucks.
Oh, okay.
And it's a very entertaining documentary
about what we do, stand-up comedy.
Jordan, of course,
do you ever get up and do stand-up?
I do it. I've been in remission for about eight years.
I do it every now and then.
To sit with these greats and yourself,
I wouldn't be like a stand-up comedian.
What do you mean you do it every now and then?
Every eight years.
That'd be really rough.
It is rough.
That'd be really rough just getting up,
I'm going to try it tonight.
Haven't written shit in a while.
Why do the ones where you can read?
You know, like the show where you do the...
Oh, you prepare a speech,
and then you get Jeffrey Rush to teach you how to not stammer.
And then you read Jeffrey Rush to teach you how to not stammer. And then...
And then you read it
to the audience.
It was a king speech reference because he loves movies.
I know.
Todd knows I love movies.
What's the last movie you saw, Todd?
Oh, you know what?
I swear to God, I remember the last time.
I'm not just doing this to do it,
but I remember the last time I said it before doing this to do it but I remember the last time
I said before I do this
I didn't know it was movies again
until just backstage
I swear to God
I didn't
I know that's what he does
and I had a feeling
but the truth is
All the way over here
you were hoping
I hope the topic's tablecloths
But I texted you today
and I asked you where it was
and you were very nice
in your text back
and then I thought, I don't want to text him again.
I'll be that guy.
Like, oh, fuck, Jesus Christ.
So I didn't ask you.
So I don't see that many movies.
I like movies.
I don't not see them for a reason,
but I don't see that many movies.
I see them much later than a lot of other people.
Because it's hard for me to follow them.
You see them on television
when you're wandering in and out of the room.
Yeah.
Or I see it when someone says,
you fucking haven't seen that movie?
And then I finally see it. Okay, so what
have you seen? What was the most recent movie
you saw? I mean, I saw probably some I can't
think of, but...
You're like Sarah Palin in
magazines. No, no, no.
Why can't you just fucking name a movie?
I can name it, but I'm embarrassed that it's the
last one. The last one I thought was really funny
and a lot of other people didn't think it was as funny as I did.
I thought it was really fucking funny.
It was Role Models.
I liked Role Models.
Yeah, you liked it, but I fucking loved it.
I liked it better than I Love You, Man, which got more praise.
That's so nice.
I thought you were mad at me because the last time, and then...
No, I don't love you, man.
What about you, Craig?
All I got, folks.
I have kids, so the last movie I saw
was Throw Mama from the Train.
Right, because you only see kids' movies.
Temple Grandin.
That's an HBO movie, but I guess it counts.
Yeah, good job.
What cinema did you see that in?
I didn't. You see that in I didn't I saw
down at the Arclight
but you really don't go to movies ever Craig
aren't the kids grown up
I do
how old are your twin girls
I saw Tron
my girls are 13
oh wow
hot
he's not kidding
they are
they live in Paris and they model.
And I...
Cash the checks.
When they get to be like 18, 19,
are you just going to constantly make sure
that they don't meet any of your friends?
Your single friends?
I'm going to...
Bird, dog, and friends?
Get a lobotomy and not worry about it.
Oh, okay.
That's a good plan.
I'll get a big baseball bat.
But you must have seen some movie recently in your travels or on HBO. Yeah, I. That's a good plan. No, I get a big baseball bat. But you must have
seen some movie
recently in your
travels or on
HBO.
I saw Tron the
other day.
Oh, you saw Tron?
I saw On Flux or
whatever, Ang Flux,
the Charlize Theron
movie, which I never
saw.
Yeah, that's about
time on that one.
It's like at the
Wii.
Right?
Society really
passed you by on
that one.
Everyone has seen A on Fl on flux why don't you name
some movies and then I could tell you if I saw that's an awesome game I think it's a two-hour
sugar see et yes yes okay good but yes Pulp Fiction yes I, I did. But they're old movies. Jaws, of course.
The Godfather?
Not all of it.
Couldn't follow. That one scene is too much for me when he shoots that waiter.
I'm like, even though I know it's a movie, you don't need the waiter.
Boiler alert.
Is that the right movie I'm talking about?
I think you're talking about Goodfellas.
Oh, Goodfellas, yeah.
He goes, it was a little disrespectful.
I thought, even as a movie, I couldn't. I'm like, I know it's a movie. I thought even that even as a movie
I couldn't
I'm like
I know it's a movie
but I'm like
come on
you didn't have to
fucking do that
it bothered me
even for those guys
it was a little
dickish right
do you get mad
at Jim Brewer
when he does
an impression
of Joe Pesci
no no no
ok
now I gotta
have to answer you
I saw Torque
with Ice Cube and Adam Scott.
You came to my screening of Tork?
And I came to your screening of Tork
where you talked during the movie.
Yeah.
And my son, Jake, was with me
and we sat outside.
What's he, about 13?
16.
15.
Oh, perfect.
And we...
He's got to meet the twins.
We gazed down.
And by that i mean my balls
son let me take you to the green room after the podcast
your kids are here they're here oh they're here tonight we went oh that's really horrible
and we sat outside in the line and we would rate people
if they were just a little buzzed,
high,
and then you walk down with posters to give away
and my son goes, he's super high.
Like he didn't even know the movie.
Comedy doesn't skip a generation.
Your kids have it too.
My other son and I saw you at the Benson Interruption
One of the tapings
Yeah, you guys have been stalking me
You're a father-son stalking team
It's awesome
At the Benson Interruption show
I always had a fantasy
You can say fantasy
We like everything, but don't interrupt
That's a great fantasy Not a fantasy, but don't interrupt. And you'd be like, well...
That's a great fantasy.
Not a fantasy, but you know how they change everything.
You're not jerking off to that?
Maybe that's the wrong word.
Yeah, I always worried that that might be a note
every week that we did the show, that they might go,
hey, yeah, this interrupting part is not...
Just sit there.
Let them do stand-up, you know what I mean?
Why bring it up on Vargas?
Look pretty. Who was that? Was that Phil Donahue? That was Phil Donahue pretty he works at Comedy Central now what are you
gonna do these people who's right and who's wrong Craig I didn't have time to
go on IMDB today and I usually don't have time to do it but I am DB but
don't have time to do it, but I am DB, but
That's fresh.
No, I say that all the time.
But have you
been in any feature films?
A couple.
One of my favorite ones was I was in
Dragon Wars, and I
got to CG into
what's that guy's name? Forrester?
That was in Jackie Brown. That's name? Forrester that was in Jackie Brown.
That actor.
Robert Forrester.
You CG'd into him?
Yeah.
You became him?
That's pretty sweet.
And then what was the other one?
You get extra money for that.
Like stunt pay.
You have to wear dots and shit?
Oh, no.
Just stand on a locked off shot.
Yeah.
And what was the other one?
What else have I done?
What was the other movie?
I know you had TV all the time.
I was in I Am Comic.
Somebody's dad on Disney.
Yeah, I'm on TV all the time.
Nickelodeon you've been on, right?
All those shows.
Yeah, all those great shows.
I don't need...
We did a commercial.
Yeah, a lot of commercials.
A lot of things you won't see.
Some theater.
Very visible, but not so much on the big screen.
Todd, you haven't been in a big movie, right?
No, I don't think so.
We were on Friends once.
You said something to Jennifer Aniston.
I did.
Like I do't think so. You were on Friends once. You said something to Jennifer Aniston. I did. Like I do.
Excuse me.
She's in movies.
What's your favorite Jennifer Aniston movie, Todd?
Probably
I don't think any.
If you had to pick one.
No, I don't not like her. The one with the dog.
Marley and Me. That is a good movie.
I could enjoy it.
I liked it, but all I knew, the dog was going to die.
That's all I thought about the whole fucking movie.
I said, get to the part where the dog dies.
No, because I knew that was going to be emotionally sad, but yet enjoyable.
We all like to see sad movies, right?
That's why we go to them.
So I was like, that was the part that was going to inspire me and make me appreciate things.
And I go, just get there.
I know that seems a little twisted, but I know you think you go to movies to get sad that's probably why you don't go very often
I'm saying like shit I'm not in the mood to be sad I want to have fun with my
entertainment dollar no that type of movie is it just movies that are in the
big theater you don't talk about HBO movies we could
talk about Temple Grandin it was about a girl who wore cowboy shirts and had autism and was good
with uh with cows cows no I just was just curious because I had seen another movie uh the one about
the guy who had Dr. Kevorkian to him but that's an HBO movie I liked it the uh Emmys when it when
Claire Danes won for Best Actress
in Temple Grandin. It was very
emotional, and she looked gorgeous.
She looked beautiful, and then they
cut to Temple Grandin in the audience, and she's like,
eee!
It was kind of like,
wow, pretty people
can be ugly, too,
and win awards for it.
Like, oh, she deserves an award
for looking ugly.
But they're beautiful.
They have beautiful spirits.
Both of them.
They're both brave.
One to live that life
and the other one to pretend it
for a couple of weeks.
They're both very brave.
I was in one movie, but I got cut out.
It was with Gary Shanley,
and it's in a hospital scene.
I don't remember the movie.
But they wanted me to...
Because I got cut out of it,
and I was in the hospital room,
and they wanted me to wear a very short scene,
and then they had me put a mask over my face.
And I'm like, I'm only in the movie for a minute,
and I got to get up at five in the morning
for this shit.
They wouldn't even know it was me.
I don't care.
I could do without the $300 I made.
So I asked the guy really nicely.
I swear to God.
I was like, look, if the answer's no,
that's totally cool.
I go, but can I not wear the mask?
He goes, well, you're in an operating room.
I'm like, I know.
Can I not wear it?
And then I got cut out of the movie.
I think I really pissed that guy off.
You're in a scene where surgery's happening
and you spit when you talk.
Which one was it?
Now I'm dying to know.
If you said it, I would remember it.
John Goodman, Gary Shanley?
Marley and me.
No, no.
Was Gary Shanley supposed to be an alien?
Yes.
Okay, what planet are you from?
That's it.
No, I'm asking you.
What planet do they only like movies that are sad?
How are they never gone?
What?
In the movie.
Oh, you don't got to be disrespectful.
Okay, sorry.
I still am a headliner.
That's my go-to.
Every situation where they don't do what you want.
I'm a headliner.
Yeah, I'm a headliner yeah I'm a headline
I need extra butter yes Trader Joe's like they give us you the restaurant
you're I mean you just did it I like to repeat it it's fine I like Todd it's fun
to watch Todd get stuff because once he gets it he's fully on board. Yeah. You okay?
Now Todd's doing crowd work.
Speaking of which, does crowd work come up at all in IM Comic?
Crowd work got cut out.
Is it in the DVD extras?
No.
Oh, okay.
But Todd has a bit with Larry Miller.
It's on iTunes for free.
A little bit that got cut out.
Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff that got cut out.
And there should have been more jokes in it.
There's an amazing... Have you seen the edited clips, Todd?
No.
There's an amazing Bobby Collins clip.
Really?
Yeah.
What does he say?
Where he interviews him outside of a cruise ship
and Bobby Collins tries to spin that
you're a great comic if you can work on cruise ships.
Not, I've reached rock bottom.
Well, it was to show the versatility of the performer.
Yeah, yeah, he's totally full of versatility.
Some comedians didn't want, like, Todd Barry.
You know, Todd Barry's been on the podcast a couple times.
He's been on.
He thinks the Leonard Martin game is convoluted. You know, Todd Barry's been on the podcast a couple of times. He's been on.
He thinks the Leonard Martin game is convoluted.
Convoluted.
I saw a guy with a tinfoil yarmulke.
Yeah, yeah.
But what about him?
We filmed him in the green room, and he goes,
yeah, I don't really want my stand-up in the movie.
And it would have been great, because it would have been funny,
and it would have punched things up.
So a lot of comics were weary of having their jokes in the movie and it would have been great because it would have been funny and it would have punched things up so a lot of comics were weary of having their jokes in the movie but then some comedians the man to my left craig anton did bits specifically for the movie well he does a great
joke he does a great routine in there that's why i called you as soon as i watched that part of the
movie to participate in this show because uh i've known craig for a long time i always thought he's really funny but you have a great section of the movie where you in this show because I've known Craig for a long time. I always thought he was really funny.
But you have a great section of the movie
where you go through and describe
the anatomy of a joke, like the beats
of how a joke works.
And you're very succinct and funny about it.
And everyone should watch it
because talking about it is boring.
Yeah, we're not going to do that.
That will not be seen here tonight.
Yeah, but it's really funny and also educational.
I told Jordan
I'm going to show
this movie to my mom
so she'll maybe
finally kind of understand
what all these years
as a comic on the road
like what...
She can see Todd get high.
What really happens.
Well, that's the other thing
is then I'm going to
break it to her
that I smoke pot.
I'm going to show her
a double bill
of I am comic
and super high me. Does she not know honestly or are you just kidding
She knows but we don't talk about it
I told them when Marijuana Logs
opened off Broadway I told my parents
I was like hey I wrote and I'm starring
in an off Broadway show I'm moving to New York
and going to perform in this show
Oh that's great dear we love you
and it's all about how I fucking smoke pot
constantly
That's great We love you and it's all about how i fucking smoke pot constantly that's great we love you like they
never it you have to you have to make pot make you succeed before you can break it to your parents
speaking of which todd glass has been at a couple of festivals helping me
pimp the movie right my boys were with me because they travel everywhere with me. Now wait, your sons are your balls.
What did I say?
My sons.
Todd, tell him what your advice
was as a parent.
I think that's funny. I don't know if it was advice.
It was parenting advice
from Todd. You mean to smoke pot with your
children? Yeah.
Well, it was more my brother's
advice. But he had an honest relationship with his kids about pot.
And then he did smoke pot with his kids when they were like 15 and 16 years old.
And I thought they grew up to be, you know, they still seem to be pretty good kids.
Why do I feel nervous like people are judging me?
But yeah, he did smoke pot with his kids.
And he's had
It seemed to
Did he say it's funnier to your kids?
I will
I apologize to the listeners
I thought it would be a much funnier exchange
I thought it would be some sort of
Well, how could I have made it funnier?
Seriously, I don't think it would have been that
I would have really had to make it funny
That's all my job
Was it funny when I told you, I would never smoke. That's all my job. I would never smoke pot with my kids.
Was it funny when I told you?
Be honest.
It was fucking hilarious.
No, it wasn't.
Be honest.
Answer my question.
I'm going to make a point here.
I'm getting a little aggressive.
What did he say?
It was shocking.
No, no, but it wasn't funny.
So you wanted me
to take something
that I said to you
and go,
see, remember when you told me
we just had a nice,
serious conversation?
Now tell it and make it funny.
But I couldn't do that.
We should have told you.
Remember when you told me
when my sister was going through chemotherapy you told me how to be strong? Tell him that and make it funny. But I couldn't do that. You're a headliner. You're a headliner. Remember when my sister was going through chemotherapy
and you told me how to be strong?
Tell them that, but make it funny.
Okay, that was pretty funny.
See, you got there, Todd.
He knew you'd get to it eventually.
But I have to say Why would
Because I can see you on the world
Seriously
Why would any parent
Smoke pot with their teenage kids
When there's edibles
Well that's true
That is true
I thought that would be funnier
Have you guys
Have you guys ever wondered
What 127 hours would be like
If it was a monkey.
That's more for the people that are here than for the listeners.
A monkey would cut off his own arm.
It would die with respect
and dignity.
Spoiler alert.
Todd, you got me worried now.
I think I was a better guest
as Todd Barry.
I've never tried to do a Todd Barry impression
until you just did it and it totally
unlocked the secret
of how it's done.
You kind of have to hang on a few words.
I love it. Do you do impressions of any of the other
comics from IM Comics? I do Tommy Davidson. Oh love it. Do you do impressions of any of the other comics from I Am Comic?
I do Tommy Davidson. Oh, shit.
Tommy Davidson. Jordan, I don't know. I must have been
drinking some green tea that day when you filmed me
because I'm saying some crazy shit.
Oh, you talk to him about what happened,
what he does in the movie.
Because he does talk crazy shit.
You just let him go on
three or four occasions. Only one of them
he's on stage in front of an audience.
And he performs the fuck out of whatever it is he's trying to say.
He's on another planet.
Was he high then?
Seriously?
Or drunk?
No, no, no.
He's Tommy Davidson.
That's great then.
I love it.
We have this software in the movie that judges comedians by this program.
It's called the Comedy Evaluator Pro.
I know.
I wanted to meet that guy so bad,
even though, why argue with a guy like that?
He thinks he can put comedy into a computer
and then evaluate it by when it goes...
He goes, all I've got to do is hit the space bar.
And no one ever gave him any shit in the movie about it.
That's the only thing.
The movie gives him shit about it.
You're watching it, and it doesn't make any sense.
I know, but somebody would have...
It would have been nice to see somebody...
He tells Rich Scheidner,
you're not a professional comedian
when the man's a professional comedian.
But sometimes in a movie, it's nice,
even though it's the viewing audience, you know it.
It's sometimes nice to see someone in the movie go,
shut the fuck up.
Like, sometimes when somebody's half intelligent,
you agree to disagree.
When somebody's that dumb,
you can't do anything else because,
shut up.
And when they talk,
I said, shut up.
You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
And I would have liked to see that in that movie.
Maybe you could edit me in afterwards saying it.
Because we wouldn't have some of the best comics in the world
if you always judged the audience, right?
So, why did that guy bother me?
Because I don't know if he believes it or not.
Well, no, Rich wanted to give him shit,
but I edited that part out.
It was more tension if no one gave him shit
and asked him to be polite.
Yeah, and it's funny that the guy,
and it's such a lame thing.
You know that it's not,
you know that he's not really good at judging
whether somebody would be a comic or not.
Because you love movies, and you got that.
I thought about the,
you know,
my family.
My favorite part,
but one of the biggest laughs
in the movie,
and you'll still laugh
even after I've described it to you,
is when Todd goes into
one of his rants
and he looks right at the camera
and says,
now don't cut this out
and then there's an edit
right there.
So funny.
Comedy through editing.
Comedy through editing,
God willing.
Yeah.
Tommy Davidson walks in, he walks in while we're doing through editing, God willing. Tommy Davidson walks in
while we're doing the comedy.
Tommy D.
He's on the cell phone and he goes,
yeah baby, yeah baby, hold on.
And he looks at what's happening.
He looks at the computer guy. He looks at me and he goes,
you know, Dom Irera said,
if you were to graph my act, it would go straight up,
plateau at the top, good night.
Hey baby, i'm back
and he like he just got it and left
yeah he's crazy he's great but i i wish him luck in all of all of his endeavors as i do all of you
gentlemen would you like to play the game? Let's play the game Bring it
I'm glad I'm sitting next to you
Because I know the strategy and I suck at this
Alright so here's what you're playing for
You're playing for a 127 hours booklet thingy
That they send me that is a complete
Waste of paper and the environment
One of those little
Root monkeys
That I had dangling between the rocks
On that thing a second ago.
Are you kidding me?
The screenplay for 127 hours.
Do it.
Which is a really fun read.
He cuts off his arm.
Doug Betts, a professional humor idiot,
available on AST Records.
Yay, Todd Glass live from the George Carlin Room.
Is that a real place, the George Carlin room?
Well, in Tempe, there used to be a little room called the George Carlin room, but it's not there anymore.
Oh, it's not there anymore.
So you just taped it at the Tempe Improv?
Basically.
All right.
That's a good room.
But it was a little room.
Jordan brought a film that he directed called Dill Scallion.
It's kind of the country Spinal Tap, right?
Danny Gould, Kathy Griffin in the movie.
Yeah, yeah.
And, of course, a copy of I Am Comic.
That's good.
And Craig just brought a shit ton of stuff.
This is amazing.
Somebody's really going to win tonight.
He brought the Abe Lincoln story.
Is that a band?
Yep.
He brought Emo Phillips CD.
Yep.
Still in its packaging.
He brought Mother of Invention Still in its packaging He brought
Mother of Invention
A movie I'm in
Oh you're in that
I asked you earlier
I'm in a lot of things
I don't want to talk about it
You brought Atlantic Records
The house that Ahmet built
That gets a plug for no reason
Kid Rock and Ray Charles
Flags of Our Fathers
That's a classic movie reason now. Kid Rock and Ray Charles, both in there. Flags of Our Fathers.
That's a classic movie. It's fun to go to the multiplex
when it's playing and pull the L down
and giggle all day.
Breaking and
Entering. That was Anthony Minghella's last
movie that sort of
nobody saw. Ray Fiennes
is in it. He doesn't
have a nose, just like in the Harry Potter movies.
It's a book.
Yeah, it's from the author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being,
but is that as popular a book by this author?
How do you pronounce that?
The author's name or the title of the book?
I know how to pronounce the joke.
Milan
Kundera.
You're in that book? I am in that book.
So that's
what the winner's
going to win, is all that stuff. So it's quite a
dazzling array of prizes.
And each
of you has to pick who you'd like
to play for in the audience. Now people have name tags
so I'd like you to choose one that you
particularly enjoy or that you think
is creative or speaks to you in some way.
Can we ask somebody to take off their shirt?
Just get up and go take it from them.
Or yeah, if you want to
see some tits,
that's a great way to do it. That's a good
bartering system.
Alright, the guys are walking around the crowd Oh someone wrote Todd pick me on their hashtag
Yeah why wouldn't I pick that person
I'd be a dick if I didn't pick that right
Why wouldn't I
What guy wouldn't pick that
I ain't fucking picking that guy
But don't you think since the guests were unannounced
There's a good chance he made that sign
when he realized that you were on the show?
Of course.
Okay.
I'm alright with that, I guess.
Why is that funny to me?
I don't know.
Who'd you get, Craig?
Allison.
Where's Allison at?
Okay, congratulations.
Where are you from, Allison at okay congratulations I gotta ask you
wait so you think it's it would be more of a compliment if he just wrote Todd
pick me and I wasn't here no I'm just saying that people a lot of people
prepare their name tags and then come down to the show but he obviously made
his after he he just made it in his seat that's extra special
He just made it in his seat.
That's extra special.
I'm glad you look at it that way.
Who'd you get?
Who'd you get, Jordan?
I have Sarah.
This guy's a scam artist.
Don't pick somebody else.
What's his name?
Brandt?
Brando.
Brando.
All right.
Brando.
Yeah, he made up a name, too.
Todd, pick me. He's the most creative person here.
Yeah, Brando.
Is that your real name, Brando?
Yeah, and Jordan's got Sarah.
What's your real name?
And where's Sarah sitting?
Brandon.
She's a crippled girl in the corner.
Oh, Sarah's crippled?
She has no balls.
I think it's crippled American, actually.
Okay.
Well, we'll cry very hard if you don't succeed.
Now, Todd's been on the show before,
and as we discussed earlier,
he can barely name the titles of movies,
so he's probably not very good
at coming up with the answers in this game.
It's probably pretty tough for you.
Scott Augerman is the founder of the show after...
In the movie, in IM Comics.
I'm setting up the bit, Scott, right now.
Scott Augerman had to come in and tell me
that the bit I was setting up is ready to happen.
All right on time.
Scott Aukerman in IM Comics, by the way.
Oh! Here to help Todd Glass, to assist Todd Glass in the Leonard Bolton game is Zach Galifianakis.
It's been a while since I've been on stage. Brando, give him your chair. Zach Galifianakis.
It's been a while since I've been on stage.
Brando, give him your chair.
Yeah, let's get a chair for him.
And I especially appreciate him playing.
Are you going to play the later ball game or milk a cow?
No, I just... I got gotta deal with this bloody stool.
That will not play in Poughkeepsie, will it?
I'm gonna have to edit that out.
Poughkeepsie.
All right.
Let me pull it up here on my phone.
You guys...
Jordan knows how to play.
He listens to her with his balls.
Sons, I meant.
Pleasure to meet you, sir.
Oh, you guys haven't met.
Zach Galifianakis, Jordan Brady.
He was so fucking big by the time we were doing the movie,
you were untouchable.
That's right.
So you're going to do all the talking for Todd?
I don't know.
I'd love that.
We could discuss it, but I'm going to take his advice.
You should do it like a lawyer and client thing where you lean in and whisper and that'll be fun.
Alright, so we'll start with Jordan.
You get to pick a category.
The first, the categories you have to choose from are, I'm going to be in Orlando,
Florida on January 20.
So let's do the movies of
Orlando Bloom.
Last week
it was Orlando Jones, nobody picked it.
So I'll try Orlando Bloom this time.
Yeah, Drumline would be one of the movies he's in.
I watched that on New Year's Day on cable
while I was on the elliptical.
Pete Postlethwaite passed away.
The great Pete Postlethwaite.
Zach is paying tribute to him with his haircut.
But anyway,
Pete Possilthwaite movies.
I don't think it's
Pete Possilthwaite.
I think it's just Pete Possilwaite.
Possilwaite?
Is it Bobcat Goldwaite?
Do you say sugar?
It's possible T-H-W-A.
So that's Thwait.
Is the T-H silent?
I studied it at the London Academy of Dramatic Arts.
What's happening? Todd's have has now candy Oh I said backstage you should grab a water okay and then the third category is a very popular one
in theaters now this movies that are in theaters now. Oh, we got to go with...
No disrespect to Orlando.
Your gig, not the actor.
And the other guy
I think we'd all stink at.
Can we please have
In Theaters Now for $100?
Yes.
You don't get to choose...
Oh, this would be a fun way to do it.
Pick a movie that's you'll I'll tell you
the first letters and you decide which one you want to play first letter of the title it's a
deep movie that's in theaters now that begins with R S or B do I answer now yeah whichever one you'd
like to play black swan no no no I mean oh I mean which letter would you like to play? Black Swan The Lin Swan story
We're going to do B
We're going to do B
Letter Maltin says
This movie has daring performances
And he also says
That it's
He's going to remember it
For a long time.
And there are eight names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Jordan Brady.
Eight.
Nice strong opening vid.
Craig Anton.
Todd doesn't even understand.
How many names do you think you can get?
What's the letter?
Letter B. It's in theaters now.
Two names.
He says two names.
So Zach and Todd, you can either bid less names
if you think you might know it,
or you can say, Craig Anton, name that movie.
Can you give me the letters again, please?
It begins with the letter B.
And he can get it with two names.
That's not how it works.
You don't go, what movie is it,
and trick me into saying the answer,
and then you repeat it, and you win a taco.
It gives you two actors' names in the movie.
Wait, what two actors are in the movie again?
See, this is why Zach has the microphone.
I say Craig Anton.
Alright, here we go, Craig Anton.
Mila Kunis and...
No, I give you the name.
Aw, crap.
They are Marianne Plunkett.
No, that is incorrect.
You're right, it's Plunkett
and Ben Shankman.
The great Ben Shankman. It's in in theaters now, begins with the letter B
Do you have a guess?
No
That begins with N
I think those are B actors
Well, they are low on the list
Alright, so
Zach and Todd, you win the point
The rest of the names are Faith Rodnicka
Jen Jones, John Dolan,
Mike Vogel.
I know it.
Michelle Williams.
Ryan Gosling.
What's it called?
The Bochuel Network.
Blue Valentine.
That's right.
I saw it today.
How was it?
It was arduous.
How many times did you cry?
Not at all.
That you couldn't get that time back.
Except for when I had to pay for partying.
That extra $2 is a kick in the balls I didn't need.
All right, so Todd and Zach have a point.
You're on the board.
Nicely done, Todd.
Todd is great at this.
All right, we'll start down here with Jordan again.
Would you like to do, let's see, future guest Dave Foley?
He's going to be on the show someday.
He said yes.
In theaters now.
No, not in theaters now.
It's Steven Soderbergh's birthday on Friday
when this episode plops.
So Steven Soderbergh movies.
And then your third category is
Zach Galifianakis movies.
Better known as OneNote I write out my own message boards
That's right, if there's anything terrible being said
on the internet, you wrote it
It's a pretty clever way to beat them to the punch
I think in honor of our special guest, Steven Soderberg you wrote it. It's a pretty clever way to beat him to the punch.
I think in honor of our special guest,
Steven Soderbergh.
Okay.
I like the way
you played that.
Zach Galifianakis movies,
please.
Are you sure?
I don't want to...
I think that was fun
to play Steven Soderbergh.
Okay, Steven Soderbergh.
I know more of those movies.
Yeah, you'll have
more of an advantage.
Would you like one
from 83, 98, or 2001?
98.
Okay.
This is a Steven Soderbergh movie.
Leonard Baldwin gives it two and a half stars.
Not fair.
I like it a lot more than that.
He says that it has a heavy dose of humor.
I know it.
And an appealing cast.
So if you know it, you can just say zero names.
Zero names.
All right.
Now, Craig, you can go negative names.
Yeah, don't make a face at me, Todd.
This game's convoluted, Todd.
Craig, do you want to go negative names,
or do you want to say name that movie to Jordan Brady,
who seems very cocky?
Yeah, I'm going to say name that movie.
All right, Jordan Brady, what's the movie called?
Out of Sight.
That's correct.
And that puts you, you have a spot
in the Tournament of Championships
because of that zero names answer.
Very well done.
That was impressive.
I didn't get extra points, though.
Huh?
I didn't get extra points for doing the zero.
No, you just get the one point.
What did Lenny give that?
Two and a half stars.
That's a great movie.
It's like a four-star movie, I think.
Jennifer Lopez had an ass back then.
Catherine Keeter.
I don't understand that.
Catherine Keeter played a magician's assistant.
She's a magician's assistant. She's a magician's assistant.
That's right.
It was a great cast.
Don Cheadle.
Albert Brooks.
It's really good.
Have you seen it, Todd?
Steve Zahn.
A young Washington Isaiah.
Seriously, I'm not even joking around.
Like me, you don't see a lot of movies?
Why would we be here? Todd. Hey, uh, hey, uh. me like you don't see a lot of movies Todd hey hey hey seriously cuz Doug's I gotta tell a quick story I gotta tell a quick story
I was I was a tour guide at Universal Studios for like six months and there
was a part of the tour back when I was doing it
where you had to take everybody off the trams
and then give them these stupid speeches in shaded areas
while you're waiting to go in to the next part of the tour.
And I was giving a speech, and I said,
does anybody have any questions?
And a lady that looked a lot like Joan Collins
but was not Joan Collins, but that kind of lady, you know.
She raises her hand.
She goes, I have a question.
I'm like, what's your question, ma'am?
She goes, are we going to see any
celebrities today?
And I go, oh, maybe. It's a working studio
a lot. You know, I gave the stock answer. So we
may see people working here today, but
it's not guaranteed or anything. And then
she raises her hand again. I'm like, yeah.
And she goes, then what's the point?
And then I have to go into my
we're finding out how movies are made
you get to see this
the you know Mill Valley
from Back to the Future before it burned down
and they rebuilt it
an answer to your question
you know cause Doug's
maybe I shouldn't even answer
cause Doug's funny and there might be something
it's a fun show you might go
you don't love movies But who doesn't love movies
So are you going to tell people
If they don't love movies
Who said that
Please stand up sir
He's a big guy
He seems like a nice guy
He's a big guy
How you doing
Thanks a lot for coming out
Todd doesn't see a movie
unless it has the words
and the bandit in it.
But he also likes movies
that are sad,
so I'd say his favorite
is probably Schindler's List
and the Bandit.
I don't only like sad movies, by the way.
Punchline.
I'd like to say something about that.
Let's keep playing the game.
Okay, we'll start with the Zach-Todd combo down there this time.
Do you want to go Orlando Bloom?
Do you know who that is, Todd?
Pete Possway, Possilfate?
Or Zach Galifianakis?
Orlando, who do you want to do?
Orlando, who do you want to do?
I actually love Pete Possilthwaite.
So I think I may... Do you want to go with Pete Possilthwaite?
Yeah.
Were you there that time?
We were somewhere, a bunch of comics,
and Pete Possilthwaite was there for some reason.
It's a real person.
He's a great actor.
He's very good. he's in the town
by the way in the town
maybe you can explain this dog in the town yes town, if the madman guy, the FBI guy,
if he just did a search of who bought scary nun masks
and weird Rasta Skeletor masks in Boston,
wouldn't they find the killers?
That's a good question.
Do places that sell silly masks keep really specific records
about who came in and paid cash
for a mask?
He's got you there.
You asked, I answered.
That was a sincere question
because we all love,
well, we mostly love movies.
No, my question about that movie
is why doesn't the Boston Police Department
have helicopters?
Alright.
Maybe they don't. Maybe that happens
in modern society.
Okay, Zach, would you like
a Pete Postlethwaite movie from
92, 97, or 2010?
Which was last year.
Let's do 92 or 97.
Let's do 97.
Okay. This is a Pete Fossil twate.
He's in it.
Leonard gives this
two and a half stars.
I'd give it three,
three and a half maybe.
Who cares?
He says that
it's completely contrived
and
due date?
I think that was derivative.
But that there's enough action scenes to make up for the lulls
is what he says about it.
Two and a half stars.
Pete Postlethwaite was in it.
Todd and Zach are conferring.
There's no way Zach has information
that will help Todd.
We are going to confer while they confer.
Confer and confer.
Do you really?
There are...
If I'm wrong, don't trust what I say.
No, I think you're right.
There's 13 names.
How many names do you guys think you can get?
Zero.
Zach and Todd say zero.
All right.
Don't.
If you're saying I'm wrong.
So, Jordan, do you think you could go negative names, or do you not have any idea?
Can we use our iPhones?
No.
Todd?
Zach.
Zach.
Yeah.
I know.
I was really.
I know. You were making it very dramatic.
Making it very dramatic.
It's like billion dollar drop.
Name that movie.
All right, you got zero names.
Am I out?
Because I could do something with some negative names.
You think you know what it is?
I do, but I'm going to let them win.
All right.
Can you read the description one more time?
Yeah, from Leonard's review,
he says that it's
contrived completely,
and he says it has
action scenes
to make up for the lulls.
Enough action scenes
to make up for the lulls.
Up.
All right, we have a three-way tie.
You guys didn't get that one.
Was it big?
No.
Is it in the name of the father?
What?
Is it in the name of the father?
No.
That's 97, right?
Yeah.
Oh, you all know so much about... Oh, wait, they didn't guess.
I'll start saying names.
You guys tell me.
Yell it out when you know it.
Ariana Richards, Joseph Mazzello, Thomas F. Duffy, Richard Schiff, Harvey, Jason.
Peter Stormare, Vanessa Lee Chester, Vince Vaughn.
Wait, I know it.
I know it.
No, I don't.
Jurassic Park 2.
Oh, for heaven's sake't Jurassic Park 2 Jurassic Park 2
Pete Possilway
was great in that
he was third bill
too in that one
alright so it's a
three way tie you guys
let's wrap this up
show's going long
Scott Aukerman around
to let me know if
Zach is here.
It's so funny. Zach tapped
me from behind the curtain to let me know he was
here and then two minutes later
Scott walks right up on stage
and whispers it to me.
He whispered that Zach tapped you on the back?
Yeah, he was like,
that was Zach that tapped you.
I was like, I've been sitting here wondering.
Okay, so you guys got the point
that time, so we'll start down here with Jordan
again. What is the
score, please? It's 1-1-1.
Today is 1-1-1-1.
And it's a...
I think we should quit there.
Oh, we gotta have a winner. You're right.
Somebody's gotta win these prizes. Everybody's a winner. Oh, we've got to have a winner. You're right. Somebody's got to win these prizes.
Everybody's a winner.
So what do you think, Jordan?
Do you want to go in theaters now, Dave Foley, or another Soderbergh movie?
Let's go in theaters now again.
Keep it current.
Keep it relevant for the kids.
All right.
Would you like the R or the S movie?
I think we all know what the S movie is, so let's go with the R movie.
These are ratings? Is there an S rating?
No, they begin with that letter.
They begin with the letter R.
Yeah, this is a movie. It's in theaters now. It begins with the letter R.
So if you have kind of a handle on what's in theaters now, you should practically be right at the answer already.
Yeah.
But I'll give you some clues anyway.
What did Leonard Maltin say?
He says it deserves to be seen.
And then, because a lot of movies he'll write,
look away.
And he says it's worthwhile because of the
exceptional work of its cast.
Is this a recent movie?
This is in theaters now.
No, that was his guess. Is this a recent movie? This is in theaters now. No, that was his guess.
Recent movie.
Stop guessing out of turn.
Alright, Jordan, how many names do you think you get
in and out of ten?
Five.
Wow, good opening bit. Craig Anton?
27.
27 names.
No more.
Do you think you can do four?
Three? Sure.
Or do you want him to name it?
I think I can
do it. Four.
We have Zach and Todd.
TG. what about the cheesy
What do you think?
Two names he says, Jordan.
Zack and Todd, name that movie.
Why did you... Woo!
He's just joking around again.
Or do you think you know it this time?
Your two names.
You start from the...
The bottom.
That's for you?
Did you go through this already?
No, we didn't talk to Brando.
What kind of job do you have?
Computer programmer.
And what is the prize tonight?
Stack of shit.
Big stack of shit.
It's a bunch of CDs and DVDs
and books and a monkey.
Is that stuff you could use?
You don't care, right?
It's alright. Whatever you want to do.
I'll tell you what, if we lose,
you can throw it in a little bit.
Listen, Todd, there's a great
consolation prize
if they lose, so don't feel bad.
Oh, there is?
Yeah, they get to make me call someone a shithead.
Oh, on the phone?
Yeah. They give me a phone
number, and I dial it up
and I say, shithead.
And then I hang up the phone. It's a great
consolation prize. Exactly.
That'd be cool. So we don't have to give any money away,
right? Yeah, don't give any of your money.
Alright. These are tough. Don't put them
in your will.
It's in theaters now. Begins with the letter
R. It's
got an exceptional cast
and some other thing I said.
Wouldn't that be fucking unbelievable? That would be so great
if you could think of it. Go, go.
It's so great. But the names are
Mike Doyle and Stephen
Maylor. Are there billboards up
with the name on it? I don't know if there's any
billboards. See, he didn't think
it was funny.
It's kind of in limited release.
It's one of those Oscar special
kind of deals.
I don't know, to be honest.
How much time do we have to think about it?
It's done. You gotta name it.
Just name a movie that's
out now that begins with the letter R.
I think if we had 20 minutes.
Ratatouille.
You know what? You're not that far off.
It's animated?
It's rabbit hole.
Rabbit hole.
So who said name that?
You did.
So Jordan's our winner. Who was Jordan playing for?
Sarah.
Yay, Sarah. You Jordan's our winner. Who is Jordan playing for? Sarah. Let's see what he's won.
Yay, Sarah.
You get all this stuff.
I'll bring it to you because you're incapacitated.
There you go.
Now just quickly before we go, I'm going to find out who they want me to call.
How much money did you give him?
That's like a wad of money.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
Just for show. lot of money. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. All right. Just for show.
It's just show money.
All right, let's go down the line.
Plug something, everybody.
What do you want to plug, Jordan?
I just want to say,
thank you, Peter.
I am comic.
Check it out on Netflix.
I am comic on Netflix, iTunes.
Yes, I'm going to be
at the Empire State Building
calling bingo on Friday.
Me and Zach do a one man show
starts in
the end of March
I haven't really
discussed it with him yet
but it's all fun and cool
it's called
hey look at us
I'll be hosting
Dancing with the Sklars
weeknights.
I already forgot the first name.
What's the name again, Brando?
Martin.
You didn't need to yell at me.
You got any road gigs coming up, Todd?
Yeah, I'll be... Thursday, I'll be at Largo.
You mentioned that here?
That's cool, right?
Yeah.
Sarah Silverman and Friends Thursday.
I headline.
Okay, so if anybody wants to go to Largo last night,
because this comes out on Friday,
go see Todd.
I like how that's a road gig see great show it's a great show yeah
you got any road things laughing skull in Atlanta the 20 the last weekend of
January all right that's a comedy addict in Bloomington, Indiana. Oh, shit. Wait a second. Where should I fly into?
Atlanta or Bloomington?
I've got to get my ticket, quick.
Let's hear it for my guests, everybody. Jordan Brady, Craig Anton, Todd Glass,
and the incredible Zach Galifianakis assisting.
As always, Martin Rouse is a shithead,
and Jacob Campbell is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
Guys, a cultic viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies