Doughboys - Erewhon with Dan Lippert & Ryan Rosenberg

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

Dan Lippert and Ryan Rosenberg (Man Dog Pod) join the 'boys to discuss bathroom acoustics, McDonald's, and grocery stores before a review of Erewhon. Plus, another edition of Slop Quiz. Sources for this week's intro: wgacontract2023.orgWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Head to tryfume.com and use code DOBOYS to save 10% off when you get the Journey Pack today. That's tryfum.com and use code DOBOYS to save an additional 10% off your order today. Hey, buddy, it's Wyger. So this is normally where I would have a flowery, pseudo-intellectual, overwritten scripted intro about this week's chain restaurant. But something happened this week that you might have heard about. The WGA, the Writers Guild of America, my union, went on strike.

Now DOBOYS is not covered by the WGA, but it felt like it was in line with the spirit of the struggle of this particular work stoppage for me to shut down the pipeline. And so I'm not writing any intros, not this week or not any week, for as long as this strike continues. And it will continue as long as it needs to until the studios meet our demands. I'm not going to get into the weeds of this particular contract negotiation because it's pretty simple, fundamentally. These companies, the studios, the largest media companies in the world, some cases these

are the largest companies in the world, are bigger, more powerful, and more profitable than ever, and our pay is down. Corporate profits up, workers pay down. That's it. That's the whole thing. We've seen this across industries. It's another attempt to gut the middle class, and that's why we're having this strike. Since this is a podcast about chain restaurants, I want to take a moment to express solidarity

with fast food workers who have unionized, just about the most encouraging thing that we've seen in the American labor movement in recent years, workers at Starbucks, and Chipotle, and local chains like Burgerville, who have organized, who have gone union. God bless you. Thank you for your service, and your struggle is our struggle. Anyway, if you want to know more about what's going on here, check out wgacontract2023.org. Anyway, speaking of the rich getting richer and American capitalism descending into self-parody, this week on Doe Boys, Erowan.

Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Paul Wafflehouser, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Damn it. You did this intentionally. I did not. I did not pick out the roast. John A. sent that in, roastspoonman at gmail.com. Welcome to Doe Boys.

You did this when you started, by the way. Oh, yeah. I'm trying to... Yeah. I... Look, I got some instruction in terms of projecting, and it was like, try to... Like you're talking to someone, but also, like, my target is in front of me, not above or below me.

So, like, I was kind of doing that gesture, but then I forgot I was on camera. Paul, a very nice man, met him a few times. Great guy. I just got cast in a movie about Quincy. That's right. That I auditioned for a couple times about Quincy. So you know that I... That makes me sad.

And then you pulled the roast. Well, the roast isn't referencing that specifically. Yeah, I know, but it's just... That's what I thought of immediately. Wags, I'm going to start the way I was going to start. Careful, you're going to rattle the mic. That's what happens when you get riled up. And we talked about this.

Take your arm off of the microphone. I'm fucking riled up. What do you want me to say? Yeah, but don't do that. It's going to mess up the audio. What's the deal with Grogu? Huh? When's that guy going to say a fucking line, huh?

I'm here watching the Mandalorian each week. I'm like, what is it? Ah! We just got a loud buzzing in the studio. Fucking can't make fun of Grogu around here. You're watching Mandalorian and you're like, okay, every other character is saying lines. What's Grogu's deal? He's just going to be mute the whole series or in season three?

Uh, speak up, weirdo. That's Yoda. First words you must say. Canonically, I am like this too. So when he was a baby, Yoda didn't fucking say shit. Yeah, I think they've got a very long lifespan, which means that their, you know, kind of an early phase of life is extended too. That's the whole, that's what we can infer.

He should fucking talk. He should say something. Are you still watching Mandalorian? I'm watching it, yeah. And he really got me with your roast. And I know it wasn't your intention, but I really got you. I also did, I don't pick it out. I don't pick out the roast, just like you don't pick out the drops.

That's part of the, that's part of the whole thing we do. It's like, Hey, here's this thing I'm seeing and then I can say it to you and then we can both react to it. I think there's a role that like takes place in your hometown. You should get it automatically. Don't you think? You, that should, there should be some sort of thing where you get it. So you're saying if they were like, Hey, we're doing a movie about Lakewood, California than

if I want the role, I should just get the role. I think so. I just don't think that's sustainable. Yeah. I think they should have cast you. Look, but the reason, like they, when they're casting Paul Walter Hauser for a role you auditioned for, they were getting Paul Walter Hauser the whole way, right? That's the whole thing.

They were just like, Oh, we want to see options, but really the studio has their famous guy that they know that they want for that kind. And he's good. And he's good. So that's what happens. There's no shame in losing out to a guy, a guy who's been one of fucking Golden Globe and has been the lead of a Clint Eastwood movie. That's just like, that's just how this fucking industry works.

I get it. I get how it works. All right. Don't give a shit. Don't be bitter about it. Stop rattling them. I'm gonna round them. I can fucking work them out.

Take your arm off of it. How the hell does Moon Nation? Grogu's first words should be a poopy I made, like, I'll grogu. Those are his first words. Yeah. So Grogu's first words are, it is a joke, which makes sense because like you see him now and he's like, he's like, he like can be funny. You know what I mean?

Yeah, he's funny. Can babies intentionally be funny when they're like? I think so. Really? Yeah. There's funny babies that they're not speaking yet. They can be funny. Really?

Yeah. All right. So I guess it works. I think so. If it's like a baby's like being playful or something or kind of goofy. Yeah, baby can be funny. Yeah. All right.

I wasn't sure. I truly didn't know if a baby could be funny. You're saying... You're saying Roger Rabbit, right? Star Roger Rabbit? That baby's funny as shit. The hero of mine. When he talks about having a baby dick, that's like, if it's home.

All right. Let's play a little. Yeah. Why didn't you get cast for that? All right. I have a listen to one of the... More hum than the Spoon Man I am, Grogu. I got a bigger dick than Grogu.

I have a bigger dick than Grogu. That I'm sure of. Man, it would suck if they like in the Mandalorian, in the next episode of the Mandalorian fucking they show Grogo's fucking massive hog. He's got a fucking piece. Look at this guy. Shit. Jesus Christ.

One to one. Him to the fucking hog. All right. Emma, let's hit him with a drop. People will hear this podcast and say, these two must hate each other sometimes. No, we don't actually hate each other. We like each other. I do care about you.

Mitch, I love you. We love each other. We love each other. We love each other. We love each other. We love each other. We love each other. Mitch, I love you.

We love each other. We love each other. We're joking. The Doughboys are friends. I love you, Mitch. And you know what? Nick, I love you. Oh, wow.

That's so sweet. I do love Nick. Aw. Mitch is my friend and I love him. You're a clean man. Looks like your thighs are made up, I have to say. Look at my art and let love keep us together. It looks good.

Friends must hate each other sometimes. That's what happens. We love each other. That's what happens. Whatever. That was nice. That was a sweet drop. It's a wholesome drop, that was nice.

Those are echoes of love week where we talked about how much we loved each other. That was very nice. That was a good week. Hi, everyone. By the way, Amelia left. I saw that. Real power move. I waved goodbye to her.

All right, guys, start of their car. You're good, right? Yeah. She liked some of it from the restaurant we went to. Yeah. She was eyeing some of the food. Yeah. And she didn't get anything from there, which I said was good because it was very expensive.

Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. But also you were being, you were ingest because she obviously... No, I was 100% serious. It would have been big issues if she got something. Anyways, hi, everyone. Here's to one of the best examples of non-toxic masculinity in media today. Doughboys.

Chris Finke, it's Finke. Thanks, Finke. Yeah. Nice guy. Nice guy. Thanks, Finke. The drop master, we call him. I don't remember.

I don't remember. Introduce our guests. Our guests, the bad guests, at long last. They host the improv county... I was like, I felt good today. It's crazy that this all happened. I mean, I don't care really, and you didn't do it intentionally, but this threw me off. It's all the Paul Wafflehouser that's all of it?

Yeah, no, I'm mad at myself for saying like, come on, why'd you do that? But it's happened. Look, over the course of like a week, I got sent like six different things of like, are you going to be in this from Quincy people? It fucking sucked. All right, let's introduce our guest. I'm texting Amelia. Amelia, no more Paul Walter Houser, please.

He might come on the pod. He said he'd come on the podcast. We'll talk about it with him then. It was a whole thing Emma can explain. Okay. Mitch, our guests, overdue. Finally on the show. They host the improv comedy podcast, man dog pod, Dan Lippert, Ryan Rosenberg.

Dan, Ryan, thank you so much for joining us. Hey, thanks for having us. What a hoot. What a hoot to have you both. Thanks for having us. It's great to be here with you and eat a little food together and nice to be on the podcast. You have a meal in advance of the show and then you do the show. It's fun just hanging out with pals and made me want to ask, do you ever combo a record

of your own podcast with a meal? You ever make that move? I would say the death of me and Ryan's careers is that we would rather get food than work. We'd be like, should we meet for breakfast and then do a record? And then we would just eat breakfast for a long time. We probably got like four to five outlines of movies that are dead because we'd rather go to a diner. Wow.

Oh, yeah. We used to, our office used to be across from the Beachwood Cafe and so we spent a lot of time there looking at Christopher Nolan. Wow. Yeah. Before it became a hot spot that Harry Styles mentioned in his song. Wow. Less exciting.

Nolan owns school. Nolan, yeah. We had a nice lunch there, having a nice lunch alone. Karel eats there a lot. I don't know, I hope we're not blowing up their spots. Yeah. But we are. Oh, yeah.

But they're probably not there and not that Harry Styles mentioned it because it is, I don't know if you've been on a weekend. I've never been. I've never been, period. I just know of it. It's great. Nice aesthetic. Food is like fine.

It's one of those places that's always changing the menu. Yeah. And you're like, just pick something. It's okay. Yeah, that bothers me. Yeah. But now on the weekend, you might like this. It's like full of hip teams.

And so it takes like two or three hours to get a table. Weigar might like this. Weigar might like this. Okay. There we go, Mitch. Yes. I like to see what they like, what's going on, what's into it. Weigar like wants to befriend them.

Hey buddy. To the cool kid table. You guys look like cool teens. Did you see Nolan? Did you see like the title page for Openheimer and like there was nothing like below it? Or like we was just. Openheimer? Oppenheimer.

No, it was written Openheimer versus it said pronounced like the Gangnam style thing. Openheimer style. Like an A-bomb goes off. It makes sense why I can't get rolls. Can't say words correctly. You butcher the director's name every time you meet him. The thing I like about Chris Nolan, he really looks like Christopher Nolan when you see him, he's got the slicked back hair and every time I've seen him, he's got like a long code

on. He looks like he's directing a movie. You got to have like a director look. I feel like that's like a big part of success. We want to be like, oh, that's a director. Yeah. What would your director look be? Great question.

Spielberg's the hat guy. Yeah. I mean, I kind of like the full suit guys, although that just becomes so uncomfortable. Right. Full suit doesn't like leather mass. Yeah. Cut. Sorry, we're getting just a lot of leather on the sound here.

But yeah, I don't know. Like I feel like it's, I prioritize comfort. Honestly, that's why I'm dressed like this now. And for people watching the video feed, you can see that I've got shorts. I got fucking slides on and I've got just like a, you know, a very casual thin polo shirt. That's partly because it gets so fucking hot in the studio that if you just reached a point where it was like, you know, I'm just going to be comfortable in here.

I'm not going to worry about any other aspect. So I think I would probably lean towards honestly, like a track suit, maybe a track suit guy. I'm so comfortable in track suits. And when I travel, I love to wear track suits. Yeah. I don't even have to say it. Big fat director guy. Come on.

I'm going to have a big sandwich eating during takes. Yeah. Things like that. That's my style. Uh-huh. And also kind of like, kind of like a Dom Del Luis look. I maybe wear like a white shirt and kind of like one of those like sun hats. You know what I mean?

Oh yeah. Yeah. But I'm not, I guess not a sun hat. It would be fancy or kind of like a white, like one of those white Panama hat. Yeah. Panama hat. That's kind of my vibe. How about you guys?

I think these two together, what you both described is about where I'd like to be. There you go. Comfortable. I like the Panama hat. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I dress so much to hide my body. So I don't know if I was a director and stuff.

Well, if I'm never going to be on camera again, it doesn't matter. Right. Right. That's a great point. Part of me feels like I want to wear like a robe on set. Oh, that's fun. Not like naked with the robe, but just like to let everybody know that like, hey, we're comfortable here and we can just do the work.

You know what I mean? Yeah. You don't want to be like a horny guy. No, no, no. Like not like a Charlie Rose sort of robe situation. Like, whoops, it came undone. You know, like you're not doing that. You're just like, I'm just comfortable and you guys are free to be comfortable too.

Exactly. Like maybe like if you pointed to wear pajama pants underneath so they know you've got bottoms on, that goes a long way, I think. And if horny stuff happens, it happens. Well, no, no. No. Okay. All right.

Sorry. It's very, very excited to have you here. And we've had you before, Dan, and Ryan, we've never had you before. It's long overdue. It's long overdue. I do want to ask. Well, I would be like, we got to get like Connie Tipper on. Who the fuck is Connie Tipper?

Connie Tipper was a home run. Tipper was great. She writes a blog, ranks T's. I'm like, all right, let's get fucking Connie Tipper on. Do you remember our Tipper the morning run? It was great. People turned that into drops. I do want to see the meeting where you're aggressively advocating for me and Ryan to

be on the show. What the fuck? All your subjects and you was like, are you Ryan and Dan? Let's go, bro. No, this is a constant bitch. Bitch loves to blame me for anything. Right. It's just a constant thing.

It is true. It is true. And then, well, because if I, if I ran the show, it would be like the sort of thing where I just like, let's get koalic again. And it would be koalic every other week. Koalic month? What's it like? I think that's important in a friendship to be able to blame each other for certain

things. That's a good point. That's a good point. Yeah. I get blamed for a lot too. You blame me for a lot of things. It's fine. It's fine.

I think every week to see him sing the national anthem as the Noid is maybe the, it was maybe the point. We had that. So we did this live bunch bed, this finale, which is our, we do this tournament every year for March. As part of it, we got our, a part of our finale, which we live streamed, we got a Matt koalic as the Noid to sing the national anthem. And Mitch and I both feel it's the single funniest thing that's ever been on the podcast.

I've never laughed so hard in any of that. He was dressed up as the Noid and also not a singer. Not a singer at all. And his daughter was like, you're a superhero. Like was like saying that to her dad over and over. It was very cute. Very cute. Yeah.

I wanted to ask a little bit because we're going to talk about, also the Noid had COVID. That's another problem. The Noid had COVID. The Noid had COVID. I couldn't avoid the bit. I want to, I want to ask this, which is we're talking about something, we're talking about a healthy chain today. We're talking about a place that where their whole marketing is like, this is like macrobiotic.

This is organic. This is farm to table. This is local produce. That's their whole fucking agenda. But Mitch and I love to eat trash. And I suspect the two of you do as well. Like what are some of your favorite indulgences when it comes to food? The assumption you made there about you guys.

I don't know. I'm just saying. Good assumption. I'm pretty addicted to McDonald's. Wow. This is something that I am like ashamed about, but definitely have to admit. What's your standard McDonald's order? I like a double cheeseburger.

Great menu item. Great menu item. Yeah. Secretly one of the best hamburgers out there. It's so fucking good. Now he gets the double cheeseburger a lot. She'll get a triple cheeseburger at times. Wow.

I prefer the double cheeseburger over the McDouble. I think that extra slice of cheese has worked like the extra 70 cents. The ratio is perfect. The ratio is so good. Yes. Yeah. And I like the chicken nuggets. Sometimes I'll sub out the chicken nuggets for just like a McChicken sandwich.

What's your sauce of choice? What's your dip in sauce for the nugs? Usually just ketchup, but sometimes. Oh, interesting. Honey. Not honey mustard, but just regular honey. I love honey. That's great.

I feel like you do that a lot when you're a kid, and then I was like, why did I stop doing honey with nuggets? It's a great combo. Right. I one time went out with like a friend and his dad. I was spending the night at their house or something, and they made fun of me for using ketchup on my nuggets, and they only used honey. And I was like, does everybody use honey?

And I have no idea. And it really like shook me to my core for like two years. I was like, am I gross for using ketchup? Like very easily, you know, influenced as a kid. I will say that chicken McNuggets with ketchup to me is a waste. Like you got to, you got to dunk it and not just to catch it. You got to, you got to use dunk cup, right? I think it's fine with ketchup.

I mean, I usually like, if I, for me, that's an in a pinch situation, but I never like, I'm disappointed by it. But I'd rather, yeah, I'd rather have a hot mustard or a honey mustard, generally. Barbecue sauce. I like honey mustard. Yeah. The McDonald's across the street from Jay's bar, what's your McDonald's? That one's pretty good.

Pretty good. That one's pretty good. The one, the one by the old UCB sunset was a pretty good McDonald's, I thought. The food would be good, like every McDonald's, like it would be had times where it was like hitting and up, but then also like, that was always a place where it would be like, our credit card machine is down, you need to have cash. Yeah. And then I'd be like, ugh.

And then I would like walk into the Walgreens and get money out of the ATM or drive to some other McDonald's. I had to use that bathroom a few times is not a great bathroom. Not a great bathroom. The area was, it was like a little, it was a little, it was a little shitty. It was, it was not the great. And now they've raised it. It's gone.

Much like UCB sunset. Wait, they've raised RAZED? Yes. Wow. Like that whole side of the parking lot basically, yeah, they got rid of the college and McDonald's and the whole thing. How often does a McDonald's get just like raised? Bulldozed.

It doesn't happen. Was this, when you said to use that bathroom a lot, was this after you were teaching at UCB or coaching there? It was usually like before a show was usually that situation. Yeah. I definitely know that feeling of like, I have to have an anonymous bathroom. Yes. 100%.

Before I'm at UCB. That's huge. Yeah. It was like a lot of different things. There was a bathroom at sunset too. It should have been so much better. I don't know. What was it like?

It was like an auto zone. What the fuck was that place before it was UCB? It was a halfway house. It was like a theater company. Yeah. It was like a bunch of different things. Maybe it was an auto zone at one point. They never, well, it looked like there was a garage or something.

Oh yeah. Below. Yeah. But, but the bathrooms there was also, is that sort of thing what I hate in bathrooms like, where like there was two backstage that were like, I'm waiting on you bathroom. You know what I mean? Like you're the only person in their bathroom. And like the theater itself, echoey.

Yeah. I'm okay with the solo bathroom, but acoustically it was not ideal. Like any, so you kind of had to be like, okay, I want to make sure that not only is kind of, is I do them in this bathroom to myself for a little bit, but also there's no one in the vicinity. Cause like that's the issue with the headgum bathrooms too. It's the same thing. It's just acoustically not the best environment.

Yeah. Those concrete floors. They're just going right underneath the door, not into the hallway. Louder. It's like magnified. Yeah. Yeah. You can't like carpet a bathroom, but I mean, that would be better acoustics for what you're

doing in there. Yeah. Like a 201 student being like, you're really funny. And then like going into the bathroom after you and like looking at you, losing all respect for you. Yeah. Even if you can like know intellectually what my bathroom is like, like how I am in the bathroom to actually viscerally hear it or see it or smell it.

Well, really, that's a memory that'll stick with you forever. 100%. I was there one time when he went, I remember the door closed and I just sort of like, scream. It's a good way to get yourself amped up. Yeah. Pre-show energy. My move, which likes to see it a lot of the times when I go into an equity bathroom, including here at headgum, cause I don't want to be embarrassed in front of the hunks.

Yes. I play music on my phone loud. Loud enough that it covers up. It comes close. Like it is, like it will be like, like it will be playing like, like, go ahead with your own life. Leave me. You'll hear a little tweet.

Song sounds a little different to the electric bass. It's live. It's the remix. What song was that? I didn't recognize it. My life by Billy Joel, I would say. It will be also, it will be, I'll just play, I'll shuffle and play whatever comes up. But generally you try to keep it to blue collar.

Yeah. Emphatic blue collar. Yeah. All in town, scenes from an Italian restaurant, usually in the Joel universe. Heard a born to run, but born to shit. He's got his own weird owl shit tongs in there. Stop saying that about me, I hear you. Born to birth, born in the USA, but born in the shit.

They're all just shit again. This is an issue at my, Palmer's did also an issue. Like a. Your old apartment. Yeah. There was the one bathroom. That was never, see, but I never heard anything that was going on in your bathroom. Yeah.

From what, from my position. And I think it was, it's just like, cause it's just a home. Home says vip and acoustics. Yeah. I think that's different acoustics. Then like a commercials space. It is funny if I was like, like, like if I was dating someone or there was a woman over the house, I would be like, I'm going to use the bathroom and then I would like

turn the AC on full and turn the TV on. I'll be like, I'll be back. And she's like, I know what you're doing. You're like trying to make sound so I don't hear you shit. And that is exactly what I was trying to do. And every time you go to the bathroom, you prep the room for 30 minutes and I can tell you have that look on your face. You have to show I'm shaking.

Yeah. Just put the headphones on your ears and play somewhere of the rainbow like face off. It's also, cause you can't even like, even if you feel like you prep the environment feel, you can't quite get comfortable in there where you're just like, I really just want to do some work for a bit. I just want to get like, you know, really like, like, you know, fucking just put the pedal to the metal. You know what I mean?

Like, like, like, and, and if you feel like you're not going full bore, you sometimes feel like you're having like kind of like an incomplete sort of situation. That's not ideal either. Yeah. You know. Yeah, I agree. It's, it's, I wish I read about Blue Beetle, you know, there's a trailer for Blue Beetle the other day.

Yes. I haven't seen it yet. And then I read this is in the characters. I've read the Wikipedia. I was like, what's Blue Beetle's deal? I want to read about Blue Beetle. And do you know that his power, like one of the things with his powers that he like doesn't have to shit?

I don't know that. Like the suit. I don't know the character even. This is on use to me, Blue Beetle. The trailer came out, it's a, yeah, it's a DC character. Okay. And one of his things is he doesn't have to shit. He's, he's like, like the suit takes care of him having to shit like he can shit in

the suit. No. It just metabolizes. Yeah. Like the suit is like attached to his spine. And so like, oh, the shit like eats up the shit. Is that what real Beatles do? Is that their thing?

No, I don't think so. I don't think that. I don't think it's involved with Beatles. I think it is just like a spour of the suit. It's a weird extra thing if it's not what Beatles do, right? Yeah. It's like a weird extra thing to write in. And this character.

Okay. Sure. Right? It's like the Halo fan theory about how the master, master chief suit jacks him off. You heard that one? No. Really? Yeah.

Just like supposedly like it just like to keep some focus the suit jacks him off. So like while he's in combat or like, it's not like canon, but I guess it's alluded to in some of like the Halo novels that, yeah, he gets jacked off by the suit. But when does it happen is my question. Whenever he needs to fucking pound off. When does it happen for you? Yeah. Never in battle.

I never do it in battle. I mean, why is there having a text fight? I'm not sitting there fucking jacking off the other end. That's my version of battle. But is it thing where he's like, he's like fucking gunned down aliens and the suit is maybe jacking him off? Maybe. I don't know.

Apparently with Blue Beetle, he's like fucking, I don't know, fighting, who the fuck, Dr. Strange? Who's he fighting? I think maybe he's in like the Shazam world. He's fighting Shazam. He's maybe fighting Black Adam. He's fighting Black Adam. The balance of power in the DC universe has changed.

Blue Beetle is fighting Black Adam and he's like, he's fucking shitting while he's doing it. He might be. I don't know how it works. Yeah. If I had to be a superhero, that would be it now. Because the suit takes your shit? Yeah.

That would be fantastic. That's fucking nasty. I also think you'd miss shitting. No, you wouldn't. I think you would. I think you have to be humbled. Yeah. What does that mean?

Not you, Mitch. Oh, okay. We humans, you know. You need the dark and the light. You need to be humbled at the toilet so that you can move around the world knowing that you do that. That is fair. That's fair.

It is very humbling to, as a man, to stand up, turn around and face the toilet and wipe. That's as, you know, how I do it. Do you face the toilet out of respect? I face the toilet out of respect. I've got to give it a little bow. Right, right, right. Look, I don't want to just talk about shit here. I want to talk about food a little bit.

It is the thing we talk about the most besides food, is shit, I would say, on the podcast, right? The light and the dark, you know what I mean? Yes, the light and the dark. Very good. Good point. The food has to come in and go somewhere. Lippert, you ever fuck with McDonald's?

What do you do for faster? You know, today, I'm very prone to suggestion, and I heard two seconds of McDonald's ad where they were talking about this new chicken sandwich they have, and I was like, oh, maybe I'll get that before the record, and then I was like, no, we're going to eat. Let me just eat it tonight in shame instead of beforehand in shame. So that's kind of when I'll do McDonald's or like when I'm like starving in a pinch. I like the bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. That's my go-to there.

That's a good solid menu item. Yeah, that's a good item. But I'm mostly, when I do fast food, I have this logic that doesn't really make sense, where I'll usually do chicken sandwiches because I think they're healthier, even though they're like slathered in mayo and cheese and bacon usually when I get them. So I get the whatever their crispy chicken is there now. Okay, I was going to say, do you do grilled ever? That was like a move that I, when I was like a fat middle schooler, I remember like, I

go to Burger King with my dad, I'm like, I'm going to get like a grilled chicken sandwich. Man, it's good, right? Dad and my dad was like, yeah. Sure, fine. Disappointed. I did that stuff too, I did like the Weight Watchers points system, but like when I was too young for it, and it was like, yeah, we're still going to Carl's Jr., but I'm only eating half of the bun or like, I would turn one burger into like half of a double burger.

You know what I mean? Yep. And it's like, just eat a vegetable. That's the point. Eat healthy food. Healthy food. I was in Fit Kids. Oh.

This is true. I was, when I was like in middle school, I was in a thing called Fit Kids at the YMCA. And it was like for, you know, tubby little teenage, not even preteens. And I was like using, and then there was, I remember there was like an article in like the Quincy Sun about like me and I was like lifting weights as like a preteen as a part of- Like doing bench presses? Like, yeah, using like the Nautilus equipment at the YMCA, but Fit Kids, that's what it

was called. Fit Kids. I think it was Fit Kids. Did I say fit teens? It's Fit Kids. Fit Kids. I was in Fit Kids. It didn't work, obviously.

Like you'd think that that guy would go on to be like, you know, continue to work out, but I did not. But was this specifically like, hey, we're going to get, you know, it's Fit Kids, but we're getting maybe kids who could use some more exercise. Was that the idea behind it? Yeah, I think it was like Fat Kids. Okay, got it. So there were a bunch of Fat Kids that they were like sitting, like trying to work out

a little bit. Yeah, we can't call it Fat Kids. Put another eye in there. That's like, boy, I don't know, like I did so much like fitness stuff as a kid, but it was, I now feel like it was ever like that targeted. Like I always feel like, like I remember like the presidential fitness thing, which I don't know if they still do that, but that was a big thing. Like do you remember like doing like a sit and reach and like doing a bunch of jumping

jacks and shit and getting some presidential commendation. It was like standardized testing. Yeah, it was very strange. Which is strange because I don't think of presidents as like fit. They all kind of look like shit. Right? I mean like Obama is handsome. I guess Obama was pretty fit.

Biden looks okay for like a man of his age. Sure. Clinton was not in shape when he was in office, but he's gotten, he's slimmed down now. Trump is an athlete, I would say. Yeah, Trump is an athlete. Yeah. He's like one of the fittest men they've ever seen, God, Reagan was a monster, but he was not like, he'd had both him and Bush were like kind of like, felt like they were

in shape old guys, right? He's a movie star, right? He's a movie star. Yeah. I definitely wasn't doing it thinking like, oh, we're supposed to look like the president. Right. Yeah. Wait a minute, Mitch, what the fuck were you talking about?

They're showing you pictures of the president with a shirt on, but you're just fine, man. You're supposed to look, the end result, you're supposed to look like the president. Right. I think that most presidents are healthier, I think Jimmy Carter is healthier than me now. Wait, who's he? No, he's alive, right? He's in hospice right now.

Yeah. Yeah, hang in there. You know what? And we both took the presidential test right now. This last act was owning you and the presidential test. Banged out like 11 push-ups. This is like an idiot. I'm not going to let this kid beat me.

I don't know how he sounds. He kind of sounds like a, isn't he kind of like a, isn't he kind of like a molasses boy? Allen McLeod, right? Yeah, he's a southern dude. Kind of like a hand kill. I want to ask, I want to talk about grocery stores a little bit because this is a grocer. I can't imagine shopping at Arawan as my main grocery store, but people do that.

What are your grocery store routines? Are you grocery store dudes? Because I feel like, Mitch, you sometimes fall into like no grocery store trip for a bit, right? Yeah. I've been buying fruits lately. That's good. Yeah, I've been doing, I've been doing, I was going to say like, God damn it, Bobby,

but he's talking about Bobby Kennedy. That's good. That was good. Thank you. I thought it was worth going back to. Because he was trying to, you know, win the Democratic nomination from him. Yeah. So that was the whole thing.

Yeah. God, that makes sense. Oh yeah. Yeah. I, I, I've been going, I've been doing, this is a bad version of it, but I've been getting Instacart occasionally, and I'll tip, I tip my shopper as well. Yeah. So I, I do do that, but I, but I'll do that for like, for, for fruits and stuff like that.

I really like. You know what? It's Instacart bad because I always get shame for, for using delivery apps. People shame you? I mean, they shame us for pretty much everything. I shouldn't pay attention to it, but the delivery apps in which we don't even like that much, but also like Instacart doesn't seem like it's that bad, right? I minimize my use of delivery apps, I don't really use them in general, but I will, I'm

not saying that to be like, that's just my own, I also live in a walkable area. So it's easy for me to get to things, but I was going to say the, the, and I like getting out. I've been to the grocery store three times in the last two weeks. Yeah. It's all my own, but I'm saying. I don't know if Instacart is a bad business, but I don't think any of these are like, any of these are good businesses.

They're all kind of shitty, you know, but also like whatever. If you're, you're, you're tipping while you're doing whatever you're doing your part, I guess. I'm curious though, though, like about grocery stores, like go, like, cause I actually like growing in the grocery store. For me, it's like, oh, it's like, I have the same feeling of going to Target. I like, I kind of like that. I kind of get to find that retail therapy a little bit. It depends on what time of day it is, I guess.

I don't like when people, I don't like when people are there. You like going to a crowded, we were just talking about it. Not necessarily crowded, but just like going to the, to do my shopping. I don't mind doing that. I like going to Costco. We were just talking about this before the, before the pod, but Gelsons has turned into kind of like a, it's like, it's the spot. You can go and get drinks at Gelsons.

We were just talking about this a few minutes ago. Turn into like a social place. Yeah. Yeah. So people, those are people that really like the grocery store. Yeah. That's way too much. I don't like a shop here.

I would love to leave drunk. My mom really loves the grocery store. She would go like every morning and like get her coffee there and like make coffee there. I like that. And it became like where like her best friends were like, she knows all the cashiers and like she just loves that little like communal thing or whatever. And she's, she kind of keeps to herself, like doesn't have a ton of friends. So that's her little like social outlet.

She just like goes to the grocery store and is like, Hey, Sonia, how you doing? And they talk about their kids and it's, yeah, it's cute. That's great. Yeah. That's cute as hell. And it'd be funny if she heard this tune and be like, I don't have a ton of friends. What the fuck is he talking about? Oh my God.

Oh my God. Shit. By choice. By choice. You're fucking grounded. How do you like that? I really like going to the grocery store like with a partner. I feel like it's a really like cute, like nice.

It's almost like a little date. You know what I mean? You're going to plan your meals out for the week and all that stuff. That's nice. But I currently don't have one. So, so I don't really go to the grocery store that much. But you know what? As with a friend too, you can go with friends.

Sure. I'll go to the grocery store with you. Yeah. We'll go to that Gelson's bar. We'll get shitfaced. It'll be a blast. Yeah. Yeah.

What just happened here? You guys are grocery buddies. You guys are going to go shopping together. grocery friends. There we are. How fun is that? Yeah. Are you going to be grocery friends?

I'll go with you to the grocery store. Yeah. Go anytime. You said you're a pair and we're a pair. Oh, you mean the two of us? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. That felt great. That felt great. I think you can't have two guys with long hair shopping together. Right. I think everyone's like, this is creeps. This is creeps.

This is creeps. Where are the teens at? Well, look, we got a lot to talk about with Aeroan. Let's take a break. We'll be right back with more Doe Boys. Our next partner is Athletic Greens. Mitch, you take AG1 by Athletic Greens literally every day. Yeah.

That's right, Wags. I gave AG1 a try because, you know, I want a better gut health. That's right. And another thing, I was always getting sick. Really? So you're feeling better now? Yeah. I'm feeling better.

Wags, I wanted to have my immune system boosted and that's what I get with AG1. I take AG1 in the morning. Before I go out, I just get a big glass of water. I mix in a scoop of AG1 or sometimes I put in my Greek yogurt smoothie. I drink it down and it makes me feel invincible. I'm ready to go for the day. I got everything I need. Wow.

It's hard to keep up with a supplement routine that comes with a bunch of different products. AG1 makes that so much easier. Wags, very quickly, I notice it helps me with improved digestion. I am not a guy who is regular, as they say, and I got things moving. Why take a bunch of different things when you can mix just one scoop of powder and water once a day? AG1 was designed with ease in mind so you can live healthier and better without having to do a lot.

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This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Wags, you know, in a given week, I think I spend more time on the Doughboys podcast than I do taking care of myself. Wow. You got to balance that, Mitch, because it's so easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you and never take a moment to think about what you need from yourself. When we spend all our time giving, it can leave us feeling stretched thin and burned out.

Therapy can give you the tools to find more balance in your life so you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind. You know, Mitch, I've benefited from therapy. I know you've benefited from therapy. A lot of people we've loved have benefited from therapy. That's right. Why? Because therapy, that is the truth, 100%.

Getting things out of your head. You get some sludge. You get sludge in your head. You got to work it out. You got to talk it out. And it's helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries and powers you to be the best version of yourself, and it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma.

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We're here with the host of Man Dog Pod, Dan Lippert, Ryan Rosenberg, talking Arawan. Now look, I got a little bit of runway here to discuss Arawan. Rich founded in 1966 in Boston by a married couple of Japanese immigrants, Michio and Evelyn Kushi. Now, the Kushi's were early macrobiotic food advocates, and they named their chain for a dystopian Victorian sci-fi novel by author Samuel Butler. This was published in the 18th century, I'm sorry, the 19th century, 1800s. And it was basically the inspiration for George Orwell's 1984.

He like loved this book and then used this as this point of reference for his own creation. So anyway, the Kushi's found this chain, name it after this novel, which means nowhere backwards, Arawan, turn those letters around, nowhere. I truly never knew that. I never knew it was nowhere backwards. I didn't know that either. I thought it was just like a fancy-sounding word, which it is. They moved to LA in 1968.

They opened the Beverly Boulevard location near the Grove, which is still standing. Then in 2011, they... Wait, what year was that? When they moved? 1968. So it was only in Boston for a couple of years. Yeah. And they moved out to LA.

But it's also been around for a long time. It's been around for a long time. That neighborhood has changed a lot. The Grove didn't used to exist. Now it's there. This was Rick Caruso's gigantic outdoor shopping center that's like this huge tourist destination in the city now, huge commercial district. In 2011, Tony and Josephine and Tochi buy the company and begin expanding citywide.

And although it seems ubiquitous everywhere in LA, it's only in the city. It's only eight locations all in LA County, and it's now owned Brecht Private Equity. So it's gone from being this single location, small business to being like this, you know, the next whole foods under different ownership. And that's where we are today. It's funny because it's kind of a dystopian story. It is very much so, yes. Like, they started this like nice macrobiotic thing.

And now it's like a representation of the Grove and Rick Caruso and like a lifestyle that is very unattainable for most people. It's dystopian for the fact that Caruso lost. You're feeling pretty political. You came in, your eyes were all red, because Trump got arrested. I'm pissed off. I'm talking to the other fit kids, we're going to try to break them up. Group of fat kids trying to break Trump out.

A lot of the fit kids were at January 6th, a lot of crossover. So yeah, this place, Nellie said this to me, she was like, I hate this place, but I kind of like it. And that's kind of how I feel in terms of it fucking sucks. Like it sucks when it represents what you were saying, like it is dystopian. It is like, hey, this is a place that's just for the richest, like, you know, most obnoxious people in LA, basically, like that's its market share. They have a fucking Hailey Bieber smoothie, which we tried, like that's their whole thing.

That's who they're marketing it towards. But the food is kind of good. It doesn't always hitting, but it's also so outrageously expensive that it's kind of an insult to even shop there. Yeah. Is it worse than Whole Foods or any of those? It's more expensive than Whole Foods. Yeah, I think so.

I think notably more expensive than Whole Foods. Is it worse? I hated Whole Foods when I went in there. I don't know how I would feel about it. You hated the vibe you're saying, or you hated the food? I hated the vibe of Whole Foods. I guess I should have done my due diligence and gone into the store at some point. Whole Foods also got absorbed by Amazon, so that makes it extra, like, you know, shitty.

But I'm going to take a sip of this, by the way, the pineapple dream. Yes. It's sitting here. I want to try it before we go. Dan, you tried this. I tried it. I mean, it looks fancy. It's like a glass bottle thing.

It looks kind of fancy. Was it meant to be tried on the air? Did I jump the gun on it? No, not at all. Actually, no. And it's, you're doing what I did. It's like a... Yeah, it's a pull top.

It's a popper. It's a popper. Yeah, you can't spit it. There it is. Okay, there we go. Pretty orange for a pineapple drink. Pretty orange. I agree with that.

What are the other components there? Just pineapple. No. Orange. There we go. Yeah, that makes sense. Strawberry as well. Mmm.

It's just taking a sip for our audio listeners. Substantial chub. Chug it meant to say. It's pretty fucking good. Wow. You want to try it? Sure. All right, the bottle's being passed around.

It was probably my favorite of the things we had. Wow, interesting. Yeah. It's pretty good. Yeah. Wow. It's pretty good. It's pretty good.

It's pretty good. I hope I'm not jumping the gun on this. Not at all. But to me, it seems more like a... Thank you. I would go there for a juice over a meal. Yeah. Even though the juices are...

I mean, this was what? It's $14, $18? Oh, okay. The price on this tag is $11. $11. Now, you do have a dollar rebate on this bottle when you return it. Really? Yeah.

That's nice. I do like that they have a glass bottle. It's a nice bottle. Yeah, Mitch, you can hold on to that. That's fucking good juice. You can turn that bottle into a Molotov cocktail on January 6th too. Air one Molotov cocktail. A little thick.

I don't know if it'll break and do what I want it to do, but... I don't know where to begin. I mean, we can start with our meal, which was... We just got a bunch of stuff and we all kind of put it in our own orders and then just ate it all here at Head Gum Studios. I have... This grocery store was partly on my mind because a new location open in Culver City that I've kind of been inside kind of as a curiosity.

I bought some strawberries from there. They were like super expensive, but they weren't good strawberries. They didn't have good produce there. I can't see myself regularly shopping there. And then for people who aren't in the city and aren't familiar with this, it is like... It feels pointedly cramped. They have intentionally kind of smaller floor plans. The aisles are seem narrower than other grocery stores.

They're just absolutely packed like Florida ceiling with merchandise. And then it's a lot of... They've got a lot of supplements, but they've also got a lot of produce. They've also got a lot of just high end oils and bottles of wine and shit. It feels like it's just the expensive stuff that you get at a Whole Foods or a Trader Joe's or something like that. It's just the high end has been collected there. It feels like a supplement to your regular grocery store.

It feels like your regular grocery store might not have the oils and the supplements that you're talking about, but this place also has a pretty nice deli. So you could pick up good hot food and a specialty thing. But I wouldn't buy eggs or milk there, it seems like. That's the other thing that you were mentioning about is, yes, they have all the staples, but it's all at a premium, but they do have an extensive hot bar, an extensive prepared food section. And that's what we largely took advantage of for today's meal.

Because it's like... Mitch, we did our grocery store month, which you spearheaded back in the day. And that was like a thing where we went to a lot of these... Why are you going to say I spearheaded it? Was it bad? Was that what you're trying to say? Was it a bad... It was your thing.

I thought it was a good month. It was a good month. Why did you infer I was saying something negative? You should also call it by the actual name of the month, if you don't mind. Friendly Green Grocer Spoon Man's Grocery Store Month. I think that's what it was. There's also like, we just hit two timelines. There's the one where Weiger said that you did it and you're mad because you think it's

an insult. And there's the other reality where he didn't mention it and you're like, you forgot to mention that I did it. That is true. So we kind of hit the hot bar and we hit the prepared food section. I mean, I'll just say what I ordered. My order was, I got an organic turkey ruben. I got the Erdogan Ranch Kale chips.

I got the Haley Bieber Strawberry Glazed Skin Smoothie and then I got a vegan chocolate cake to share. Wait, hold on a second. Can we say that again? It's the Haley Bieber Strawberry Glazed Skin Smoothie. Glazed Skin Smoothie? Glazed Skin Smoothie. What the fuck are they talking about?

I think the idea is it's supposed to give your skin a glaze. Like you're supposed to give you like a nice like, you know, look to yourself. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, our thoughts are all in the same spot here. Yes. Our thoughts are with where Glazed is normally used on skin.

We're talking cum, Wags, we're talking, we're talking, you know what we're talking about. Didn't even make the subtext text, I got it. And then a slice of chocolate cake that you didn't want to share. I was fine with sharing it. I don't know where this came from. I said, like I said, hey, here's my order. I was down to share everything and I offered everything to share. You got like you, you said, wait, oh, hold on, I'm going to dig it up.

I offer, I got another slice of chocolate cake so the guests and I could try it because why didn't, why doesn't it want to share it? You guys. No, I was fine sharing it. I don't know where this came from. This came out of nowhere. You said, okay, should I get my own cake or will you split? Wags, you can try sushi and buff cauliflower.

You can try everything really. And that, okay, here's your own cake you wanted, which was the vegan blackout cake. Forget Wiger's nasty ass cake that he won't share. This is coming, this is totally your invention. What about me thinks it makes you think I would not share food? I've shared so many deals with you. You don't want to share it. It's fine if you don't want to share it.

We can get our own slice. It doesn't matter. I didn't say I didn't want to share it. I was fine sharing it. What do you guys think the vibe was in there? Do you think it was a cake that wanted to be shared or no? I think the conversation had clearly happened, so when Wiger was like, you can have some cake, but it was like, he knew that, you know, he had to offer it.

I just felt like I had walked into the room, my parents had just argued and I didn't know what the truth was, you know. This is all in Mitch's head. Here, hold on. I said, here's my order. Mitch responded $18 to the cost of the Hailey Bieber smoothie, which is outrageous. I said, place is fucking outrageous. I figure we can all taste the smoothie.

That's me offering for us to share the smoothie. Mitch, I was about to order one. Should we just get one? Me. If you're fine sharing sips, then yeah, I don't think we need two $18 smoothies. Mitch, I'm fine sharing sips. Yeah, I wanted that chocolate cake too. Now I don't respond to this because I'm doing another thing.

Interesting. You immediately reply with chicken taquitos. You're like, one of those, one of those. You want chicken taquitos? I didn't get that. I didn't get that. You didn't end up getting that. Yep.

We didn't get the chicken taquitos. And then you added, should I get my own cake or will you split? Meanwhile, you are responding to me on another text chain. What are you talking about? Where? We're talking about WrestleMania on another text chain. Well, yeah, but so what? It's a different topic.

This is work stuff. I don't know why we're really re-litigating this. There's nothing about- You didn't want to share the cake. You got your own slice. I share things all the time. I did not get that cake for myself alone. You got your special slice for yourself.

It was not for me. And we got a slice too. And we all got to try the cake. We were happy to try it. And just for people who are just listening, Weigar has Vince McMahon's mustache now. Man, that guy's, he's back, huh? He's back. He's back.

He's back. Oh, fuck. He's just, it's so crazy because everyone's like, I don't know if you guys follow wrestling at all, but like everyone's been so like happy since he's been gone, the shows have been better. I think it's been, it's like, it's been completely different. And now he just fucking, he came back. He just came back the other day.

He just decided, he was like, I'm back in. I'm doing it again. And the fucking, and then the first show that he's like fully back fucking sucks. It was last night. He's going to die in the share. It's going to, it's going to, that's what, you know, whatever. It's kind of the staying power is kind of remarkable, even though he's, he's a fucking goblin.

Yeah. You're saying WrestleMania sucked or the first show after WrestleMania? The raw after WrestleMania was really bad. He programmed that. And that's what the people were saying that he was like back in like full power that night. He like sold his kids out. It is crazy that there is succession is a popular show and it's like, like, oh, that shows when you watch it, I'm sometimes like, this is like too much or whatever.

And then like Vince McMahon is, is just worse. He's a worse. He's right. He's worse than, when you say he does worse things, there's never Vince McMahon worse than Logan Roy. Vince McMahon is worse than Logan Roy. He is. He is.

And it's something to Redstone also, just a complete piece of shit. Like I read that, we talked about the podcast, but I read their whole book about that came out pretty recently called Unscripted that's just about his, the whole succession of his family and just what a fucking monster he was. Same sort of thing. It's just amazing. These guys can just, they have their entrenched power and they can just stick around forever no matter what their, their ill deeds.

I wonder, I wonder what will happen with like our children and like the heirs to Doughboys. Like they will. Yeah. So you guys going to give up that throat easily? Yeah. Both dying in the chair. Both dying in the chair like soon ish to 45, 50 minutes. You guys, that's how this episode, you just feel our pulses and walk out.

I'm glad his last act was to have us on finally. The ambulance has been waiting out there for a while. Oh, that cake did, it did end up being good. I don't know if we're talking about that. The cakes were good. I think the cakes were a highlight. And I will say that when I've had desserts from this place, that's usually been the stuff that I think they do best.

I think it's kind of, it's, it's, you know, I think vegan desserts you can do pretty well with because you can just load it up with sugar. I think that go, that, that's like tends to be kind of the, the easier, you know, plant-based move, I feel like, versus some of the savory dishes. So yeah, but I think they do have a pretty good vegan bakery there. And not all their stuff is vegan, but it feels like the majority is. I throw you off with the, you throw me off so fucking bad because there's a thing, I wonder if I ever not shared things with you, you know, that's probably sharing things.

It's you. So there's just projection from your side. You're the person who doesn't want to share shit. You know, mad because they ate something that you wanted. Why? Because I was trying to give you a hard time. You were. You succeeded.

You gave me a hard time. We feel good about yourself. Fucking pissed. I was just trying to fucking needle you a little bit. Yeah, you did. Good job. Tricked me pretty good there. You're a little needlin'.

Then you come back and you say, I don't share. I share everything. I'll, I'll fuck. I shared everything today. Besides my burrito. You did not. You got a bite of it. I did get a bite of your burrito.

I share too. Yeah, I share too. There's a, yeah, this is the whole thing. Now I am mad when you say that I don't share your piece of shit. I share sometimes. That's not true. I share with you all the time. Things you don't want to share.

Is this why neither of you slept well last night? You were up thinking about this. Emma's mentioning we didn't, we both got bad nights. Neither of us. We were both kind of cranky for bad nights. I've been playing Resident Evil 4. Yeah. Scary.

And it is kind of, it is scary. Yeah. It's kind of hard. It's almost too hard. I don't know if I'm getting older and worse at video games, which is like a pathetic thing to think about. No, it happens. But, but, but I think it's a little hard.

But I went to bed. I was in a turn and all night walks. Do you drink while you play or anything like that? I don't. I, I usually am sober in the house, boringly. Were you having nightmares about like La Plaga or like about like the do with the chainsaw? Maybe I, maybe it did affect me in some way. Why is your very generous sharer?

You are too. You're a generous man. I can't believe this bothered you. You share. Just wasn't true. I'll say you guys were both very generous today. There was quite a bit to choose from from the arrow on. Let's start with the little one.

You share. You just, it was a weird thing with your cake. You didn't want to share your cake. Oh my, this is totally invented. Well, I have a little comment on the food and arrow. Please. Okay. Yeah.

This is something. Also, everybody, will you end it with saying whether you think Wags is a good show or not? Okay. Thank you. I will say they, they do a thing there that like sometimes I don't like about like healthy food places. Yeah. Like because they have healthy good food, they just sort of like put a bunch of it on there.

Like I had the chicken avocado sandwich or something like that. And just the ratio of what was on there was off. There was like too much avocado and it was just kind of like mushy and strange. But I really liked the bread. All the food tasted fresh. It just didn't really feel like a chef made it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

No, I'm with you. That's a, that's a great note. And that's a great characterization of a few of their menu items. I will say the organic turkey ruben I got, which was pretty relatively simple. It was like a marble rye, a, you know, turkey, some kind of cheese. I'm actually unclear on what it was. And then, you know, like a, like a pickled cabbage. Like that was like pretty straight ahead, except it was just completely dry.

I was a total dry guy. I didn't have any condiments at all. I got some like hot sauce from the, the fridge. And then also like legit ketchup was putting ketchup on a ruben because those are the condiments that are available to head gum studios just because it wasn't just so it wasn't completely dry. What I was chewing on. It's a really unsatisfactory sandwich.

Yeah. For Ruben. The whole thing is that it's all, you know, grilled or moist or has, what, Russian dressing or something? Yeah. Give me some sort of dressing. And I think, I get that this place doesn't want to have like a packet that's inside of it.

They don't want to have like a male packet in there that you can spread on or whatever. Not that it should even be male, but they don't, but like this absolutely could have needed that. Yeah. Why don't I put a side of, why don't I put a little cup of Russian dressing on the side? There you go. Give me some of that. Yeah.

That was a really, that sandwich sucks. Really unsatisfactory sandwich. And that was my main thing. Yeah. I just want to say you had no problem sharing that. You were like very down to share that one. Share the cake. Shared so much of the cake.

I did try both pieces of cake just to further the truth. Yeah. Yeah. I did try both pieces. It was an ugly sandwich. Really ugly. Yeah. I think that sandwich was like indicative of what I felt with most of the things there,

which is if you're eating it like a healthy place, don't even try to make the unhealthy stuff. Wow. Like that make me your blank Ruben. Yes. Or your blank bacon, egg and cheese. I like that. I like that.

Because I'm just going to be disappointed and wishing I had the real thing. And that one was the best example where you look at that and it's like, this is an insult. They should just put in like a bad food corner. It's like over here we have tater tots, breakfast burritos. It's really small, but over here we have a deep fryer and a grill and it's like normal food you would want. Yeah. The four of us on our shopping body.

Yeah. For all the boyfriends. All the boyfriends with like their yoga girlfriends who go and then want real food. It's just a clogged corner. That was the other thing that Emilia said, she was like, I felt like the ugliest person in there. Not true. Emilia, that's a hundred percent not the truth, but I was like, if that's the case, I don't

want to go in there. I'm going to shit around these people. It feels it feels it feels elitist in that way where I like, if I'm in like the West Gate mall or whatever, I like, I like don't, I don't like the Century City mall there. Like I'm like, I feel a lot of place. It's like how I walk through first class really quickly, you know, I don't want these people to see me looking regular in my shorts or whatever it is. Yeah.

You get really, I mean, and that's the kind of dynamic there. It's like the, the person who's, it's someone's who's in like full yoga apparel at like two p.m. on a weekday. You say yoga or Yoda? Uh, I mean yoga, but you will see like a Yoda in there. Kale salad I will order. No, but like, like the kind of, you know, the kind of person who's like, my day, my calendar is just doing activities.

Like that's like, I don't have any sort of job or anything. I can just go like take a yoga class in the middle of a day of a weekday and then I go to Erdogan and get myself a fucking $40 lunch. And that's like, that's like, you know, the crowd, if you go to like the Santa Monica location, those are the kind of people you'll see there. Like a podcaster. Yeah. Like a podcaster.

Okay. You guys normally do these in full yoga gear. The ranch kale chips, I don't know if everyone had some of these, Mitch, you had some of these. I don't love kale chips. I don't mind kale. The ranch here was meant to be like an approximation of like a cool ranch. I just felt like it did, they, two things just did not sync up.

It was like cool ranch powder. I didn't even want to throw up. I thought they were kind of gross. Kind of featured. The like texture was really weird. It was like, because when you hear kale chip, I'm imagining like kind of more crispy. This was like thick and soft. Yeah.

It's kind of like a seaweed, you know, like eating a dry seaweed. Yeah. Yeah. That's, it's a, it was a very funny man versus woman thing. Because you guys, you and I were eating these and we were like, oh, these fucking suck. And then Anya and Amelia were eating them and they're like, these are pretty good. And then they like them. Yeah.

And then we're like, yeah, they're pretty good. They did go back on it. Yeah. No, I didn't, I didn't really like these. I, I just like, I'm out and give me some regular ass chips. It's, it's, it's like what Ryan was saying. Yeah. Um, the strawberry glazed skin smoothie, I will say.

Also, I'll just say this, kale chips are, that is, that sucks. I'd rather have a kale side salad. I know that we want some sort of crunch. I know people like, like that's a texture that we like, but just like, if I want something crunchy, honestly, something healthy with crunch, I'd rather have like a handful of nuts. Like give me, give me some almonds versus the kale chips. They just, they just weren't working for me.

Someone who eats kale chips regularly is like, regularly is like someone who yells at their nanny. Oh, that's what's in my, that's what's in my head. And it's probably cause they're eating kale chips all the time. It's miserable. Unhappy. So the glazed skin smoothie comes in like a jar and it's pretty substantial. It is again, to reiterate $18 for a smoothie, $18.

And to me, I was like sipping this in, you know, if you blind taste tested this with something like from a quench or from like a press juicery, I would not be able to tell which one was the $18 arrow on celebrity tie-ins like a smoothie. It tasted like, I don't know, tasted like a strawberry smoothie with some other components. A lot of coconut, like you were saying, Mitch. Yeah. There's a lot of coconut, like water flavor in it or whatever. It just, it just, it felt like, oh, it's like made with coconut milk or whatever night.

That is the overwhelming taste of it to me. Who are Haley Bieber's fans? Like what, who is this pairing for? That's a great question because it's not like adult rich yoga ladies. Is it? I don't like Instagram. Let's start here. I have no idea.

I'm just going to Bing Haley. Haley has said that Justin Bieber was in line in front of her and he was getting a Haley Bieber shake. So that's maybe, he likes her a lot. When you got him as a fan, that's why you're really neat. That's true. Maybe that's what it is. Looking around all big too.

All right. She does have 49 million followers on Instagram. So certainly a notable person. All right. We're the nine million. I'll be honest with you. Those are good numbers. You must be in the industry.

I didn't know. I couldn't tell. Oh, those are really good. Are those good numbers? Those are good numbers. Really? Okay. For socials, that's good.

That's good numbers. I didn't know any of this. So she's a model. She's Stephen Baldwin's daughter. That's right. That's right. Isn't that wild and then did ballet apparently? That's wild.

Oh my God. So just even in the Baldwin verse, Daniel's the really, well, there's the one who's killed somebody. Yeah. Alex the murderer. Alex the murderer. Alex killed a woman with a gun. Alex.

Alex. Yeah. And then let's see. Daniel. He's like the Uber conservative one. I think that's actually Stephen. I think Stephen is a consumer. I think Stephen's very Christian.

I think Daniel's like sober. I think Daniel's the one that played Tony Soprano, right? That sounds right. In the movie that Multisanti makes and that doesn't matter. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah.

So Stephen is the conservative one. So. Yeah. His daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wow.

That's wild. Yeah. Anyway, she's a celebrity and she has a smoothie at Erwan that's too expensive. I think people will also get very defensive. They'll be like, she's really nice. I feel like there's like whenever I make fun of like a reality person or like a star who's a star for no reason, people are always like, they're actually really nice. And I'm like, all right, I'm sorry.

I don't know who the fuck they are, I apologize. She seems nice. She's so nice that she needs me to come to her defense. Do you think she gets a cut of this smoothie? That's a great question. Because it's so expensive, like $18 of food in that little cup is like, it would have to be like truffles. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like I have a hard time paying for anything that's like so that not understandable. Like she must get a cut or a licensing fee or a. Or at least please God let some of the proceeds go to someone who need them for God's sake. It goes to a skin glazing charity. It's like the bang, the bang brother's skin glazing charity. And they're in a partnership with fit kids. Why?

A post-workout place. The dressing is specifically to why? Well, I saw that he followed the fit kids Instagram. I'm going to say this about the fit kids Instagram. Good numbers. Good numbers. Good numbers. Good numbers.

Not really even numbers, but good numbers. Mitch, you got a chicken burrito with some other items. I got a chicken. Yeah. With some other items. I got the chicken burrito. The chicken burrito was tasty. You guys did not have it.

I didn't share it. I didn't want to share it. Well, you did take a bite of it. I did one bite. Yeah. And you said it was funny because this did happen. Your sandwich came. I saw your sandwich and I was like, I almost ordered that.

And then you were like, we can go half and half on burrito and sandwich and I was like, no. Yeah. I did not. So I didn't. I didn't want your sandwich. Yeah. I was very happy.

Everything that happens between us is projection from you. It's your issue. I was just making fun of you. You don't want to share something. I shared it. I still. I don't want to share something. I still shared the burrito.

You took a nice bite out of it. You liked it. Yeah. It was fine. I thought it was decent. It was solid. It also had the benefit of Daniel Burrito came cold and then we had to heat it up in the microwave because it was a cold case item.

This is one that they make at the counter or whatever. Right. Oh, I didn't realize that in the order. Yeah. It's weird. There are some things that are like made hot and fresh and other things that are not. And it's kind of arbitrary. It feels like.

Yeah. Some stuff's in cases and some stuff isn't. There's no reason why his burrito should not have been made. Like it doesn't make any sense. Right. I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

It doesn't. What was yours? Breakfast? Yeah. Steak and egg. Steak and egg. Yeah. We looked through the menu, you know, to order.

Right. There was nothing that I was like, I must have that. For sure. That's a great point. I'm curious what their version of a breakfast burrito tastes like, but I was not stoked on it. But the chicken was good. It was good.

And what are the fixings on this? It's very much a mush burrito. There's like chicken and rice, but would you say it's kind of like just all kind of like mushed up and I don't even, it's like I'm just eating like a ricey chickeny bite. Yeah. It's kind of mushy savory. The flavors were okay though. It's a spinach wrap too.

A spinach wrap. Like a spinach tortilla, not wrapped with a leaf of spinach. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was like very serviceable. What's your go-to burrito order? My go-to burrito, this is a great question because this is also, this depends on the place.

Are you guys cactus fans? Yes. Cactus is probably I think maybe the best. When they're on, sometimes they can be not, like they have, they're like a McDonald's in some ways, except not at all, but if you go, if you get, if you get cactus and you get a California burrito from them and the fries are hot, like freshly cooked fries and you get that with carne asada and sour cream and cheese, that's like one of my favorite. That's like my exact order.

Wow. It's fucking great. Wow. We've gone from shoving buddies to cactus buddies. Wow. Cactus buddies. Do you have another, what's your, what are your, what are your favorite burrito places out here?

Cactus is good. I also, I also just really like like a taco truck. Yeah. I find those to be more reliable than like a brick and mortar. Yeah. There's, there's a taco truck near the roost and that has, has, El Flamin. El Flamin. That place is good.

Yeah. Is that the one that's in the gas station? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is the kind of whole, the whole issue with Arawan is that it's like, you can get

a better burrito for literally half the price because these are what, $15, $16. They're also like, there's an outrageous markup on these. Yeah. Cactus burritos. Cactus burritos. Yeah. You literally have the place from a bunch of different taco reas or taco trucks. It's just like there, it's readily available in the city, but this place exists for people

who would never deign to shop at one of those. This is for, again, this is the kind of, this is someone who's either doesn't do their own shopping or they're so rich that they would never think to, you know, fucking hang out with a working class and go to a place that sells like a proper burrito. This is like, this is like Arawan. One of the producers of the Simpsons, I should just say who it is because who cares? It was Richard Sakai and he, he, he, he told Calpakis, he was like, will you fill up my tank?

And Tim was like, sure. And he gave him $200 and Tim was like $200. This is like also back in the day, he is like, oh, this guy doesn't know how much things cost. Right. There's no, there's like, there, there, like he has no, $100 would have been fine, but he like immediately like, it's like, oh, this guy is just like pulling into a service station and giving his card away.

That's the same thing with Arawan. I think. Yeah. And a good way to learn his assistant's been stealing $150 from him every time. You know what I was thinking? Arawan kind of feels like, is like a, like a New York bodega, but really high end. Oh yeah. They have the hot case, they have the little deli case and then everything they have is

kind of like random and specific, but you wouldn't go there for like full grocery shopping. You know, it's like. Yeah. Right. You know, you get a bacon egg and cheese, you can, and there's someone there to cook whatever you want, but it's like a hard place to walk around in and it's weird. Yeah. On the way to 30 Rock.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just, I was thinking, remember how Bagus did a sketch about Jim Brooks? Yes. This was with your sketch group, the birthday boys. I remember seeing the sketch.

He worked, he worked for Jim Brooks forever and then like. He finally quit that job and then he wrote a sketch where like, he like, I think he played Jim Brooks and he was just like, there. Hey, this guy is so much for making, he like, once made him drive 70 minutes to his favorite frozen yogurt shop because a closer place would not suffice. It had to be the place that he liked in Westwood, which I'm completely out of town. And then you're saying like, there, I'm Jim Brooks. I lie about my age and I've actually seen my, my like assistant has seen my license.

There was like such fucking funny main stuff, it was so fucking funny, it was really funny. Hey Amelia's got a sketch show later actually, do you want to check it out? This sketch is called My Two Wonderful Bosses. Wow. Wow. Funny. Funny. So one has a problem not sharing, the other, I can't believe how much it bothers you.

Okay, you're just full of shit. Yeah, no shit. You've known me for fucking almost 15 years or whatever. I'm full of shit. You know this. What's the issue? You got some sushi too, Mitch. I thought that sushi was.

The word I'll use is fine. I mean like, like I, I had higher expectations for it and I've had some decent grocery store sushi, including from Aeroon, which I'll talk about, not in this particular batch, but like comparing this to like a sushi I get from like another grocery store chain Sprouts, which is a much more affordable, you know, like I could get, I get like a fucking eight piece from there for half again, half the price. That's at the same level of quality. It's just like a little bit less sleek of a presentation.

I should say the actual name of this sushi, right? It was the Spicy Salmon Crispy Onion Roll. Yes. Sounds good. Spicy Salmon Crispy Onion Roll. Also a thing where this is, and it just sort of speaks to what this place does of like they have, their soy sauce is like a tamari sauce, which is like a soy free soy sauce. It's just like everything is a little bit, and you know what, I don't mind a tamari

sauce, it's fine. Do you want me to redo the ingredients in this? Yeah, sure, go for it. You got organic cucumber, org of avocado, wild salmon, ginger, wasabi, nori, crispy onion, org, brown, white rice. What is brown, white rice? Is that it? What is that?

I think probably they just mean brown and white rice. Oh, all right. Org, sesame oil. Are you choosing to shorten the org because you've said organic one. Org, sriracha, chili oil, Lakanto, I don't know what that is, and probably saying it wrong. Org, veganaise, org, teriyaki. So very like, we're telling you that a lot of this is organic.

Yes. It was fine. Like I said, if this was from Ralph's sushi case or something, I wouldn't have, if I ate that and like, this is from Ralph's, I'd be like, oh, it's pretty good, not bad, like I don't think it was bad. No, it was fine. It was fine. So you're paying a premium for it, which you either do or don't notice depending on

how much, you know, what your, what your income is, and, but part of the premium you're paying is for all those organic ingredients, you know. And so I kind of, at some level, I kind of get it because like, if you're getting a grocery store rotisserie chicken, like part of the reason that's $5.99 is because that bird had a fucking awful life and was pumped full of a bunch of, you know, antibiotics and shit and was just like chemically fattened as fast as possible. And it's, it's a low quality factory farm piece of poultry. Like I kind of understand that on some level, you're paying a premium for the better, better

ingredients, but it's not always reflected in the taste at this place. I agree. Yeah. I also like, I don't trust that. Yeah, sure. Like I thought it was like so juicy when that stuff came out about squirrel. You remember that? Because I always didn't like that place.

Yeah, it was funny. Squirrel was a, for, for people who aren't in LA and maybe I don't know if this scandal went nationwide, but there's, it's like this local place that does like a, they have like fancy toasts and shit. Like it's like a fancy breakfast slash brunch place. Always drew a long line. Squirrel is spelled S-Q-R-L. That's one of the worst parts about it.

And they had, it's obnoxious, but they had, and they have, there's a celebrity chef behind it. And then it came out that basically a bunch of the jams that they were making in house were just like covered with mold and bacteria. Yeah. Yeah. Moby is a part owner, right? Was it Moby?

Is he? Yeah. Moby was a part owner of that other place, Little Tree. Oh, okay. All right. But maybe also Squirrel, I don't know. I don't know if he had, I don't know if he had anything to do with Squirrel. Everyone that worked there had to look like him.

They waxed everybody ahead of time. But yeah, I think the, I get the premium, but like you're saying, I think Sprouts is mostly organic and I know they don't have as much, but they have like a little hot bar and they have sandwiches. Yeah. I love Sprouts. I love that experience because Erwan, I like feel it inside of me. Like I am in a class war with that place, even though I'm like solidly like whatever

middle class, but I feel insulted by its existence and I'm mad at it. So it has to taste really good for me to be okay with it and it doesn't. Yes. It's very much a thing in my head of like when I was a kid and I got sent to private school for a year, like it's that vibe where like I never felt like I fit in. I don't like these types of people. Not that they're everyone who shops there is bad. There's plenty of nice people who shop at Erwan.

I don't know, but they, there is something where it's just like you feel like an outsider being there and it's a shitty feeling to have at a, at a grocery store. Yeah. It feels like a country club. Yes. For sure. And there's too fancy. And there's a lot of feelings like that out in LA already.

So it's like, why subject yourself to this at this place? And like, are you really getting food that makes a big difference? And as far as like the hot food, it's okay, but I would rather eat a cactus taqueria. I'd like, it's a much better burrito. Or just even then this cloud, you know, you talked about sprouts or like whole foods. Like I don't love whole foods, but like I could spend a lot less money at their hot bar or just even just shopping for groceries at a Whole Foods or a Whole Foods 365. And there's also an aspect of just like, why do we need a more expensive whole foods?

Like is that what the market needed? Is that where we are where it's just like, hey, there's actually people with so much disposable income that there needs to be like an even more exclusive grocery store. We need something like, like Bristol Farms will not do. We need to go fancier than fucking Bristol Farms. This needs to be the fanciest, most high-end grocery store there is. And you know what? That's probably not even the fucking ceiling.

There'll probably be something that usurps it eventually. So yeah, from that standpoint, yes, what you're talking about in terms of class war, it does enrage one slightly to see a place that's so specifically catered towards Tesla Liberals. And it's a, and it feels grim. And it's also just ties into our dumb fucking like the class war, but then also the culture war. Cause it's also like, this is the place for rich Liberals. Like it's like, this isn't the, this is not the place where a rich conservative is going

to shop. That's probably, they have their own fucking grocery store we don't know about. It's just, I don't know, man, parts of it depressed me, but I do like some of the food. And that's the whole, my whole conflict with this place. Oh, I was just going to say parts of it just pressed me, but it is now I made it my Instacart spot. And you're not tipping on this one? No, there's no TS will be had.

Yeah. It's a fancier. They don't need the tip. Yeah. They don't work there. One thing I also don't like about these fancy places is like, I get really frustrated when I go to Whole Foods. Their fresh food is really good.

But all of their stuff on the like rack or whatever that's their own brand or like this off brand stuff is like way worse. Like I tried to buy ketchup at Whole Foods 365 and they only have like organic ketchup that tastes like barbecue ketchup crap. And it's like, and it's the only option they have. And I find that in a lot of those places, like all they have is like weird chips. Like they don't have ruffles. No regular chips.

Yeah. Like this store is actually way worse except for the hot fresh food, you know, like that stuff is good. But the rest of the store I feel like is like, I'm paying higher prices for worse quality food. Yeah. Don't make me have to stop at Ralph's for my Doritos on the way home. Yeah.

Let me just grab those while I'm here. Right. They even have their own like brand of like frozen crap that's like, you know, pigs in a blanket, but it's like bad somehow. It's like, how do you mess that up? That's kind of my thing with, I like Trader Joe's too, but I want like, I do want brand stuff. You know what I mean?

Like I wish Trader Joe's had brand stuff. It's a good, that's, I mean Trader Joe's by comparison to Erewhon is like in rules. Also in a completely different price category, but also Trader Joe's does have the exact same problem of it's just like limited. They're sort of like, oh, they don't have vanilla extract. That's another stop. Like whatever. I need some specific ingredients.

Yeah. They don't have cardamom. All their produce is weird. All their produce is kind of weird. And like, yeah, they have, they have a Cheetos approximation, but it's not. It's like their cheese crunchies or whatever, and they're like kind of good, but they're not the same. So yeah, that is a thing with, I don't know, but it's exacerbated to the extreme version

at Erewhon. It's like a much more heightened version of it. Yes. It's like all the bird, right? Isn't the branding always the bird? Joe? Like Joe? Isn't, that's what my mom was talking about.

These are like Joey, Joey-os, or what, isn't there, isn't there? Oh, sure. Is the bird Joe? Is Joe? I didn't know there was a bird. The bird is Joe? I think the bird is Joe. The Trader Joe's bird is Joe?

I think it is Joe. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't even know there was a bird. Like a little toucan. Like a toucan, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that would be like his cheesy turds or fucking Cheetos. You know what I mean? That's what it is. Is that what they're saying? That's kind of what it is. Like everything there is out of the bird's body in some way or another. Regurgitated. Everyone shopping at Trader Joe's is a baby bird.

This orange juice was dispensed from a cloaca. What do you think about that? Pulpy. Yeah. What other food? I feel like there's food we didn't tie it on. Buffalo cauliflower. Buffalo cauliflower.

That was pretty good. It was good. Would have liked a little bit more crunch on it, but it was pretty decent. Good flavor. I think what you were saying, I think it was maybe baked. I think it was baked, yeah. All right. Pretty good for baked buffalo cauliflower.

I don't think there's a place with a deep fry. Yeah. Yeah. It was Sal's chicken. That's right. Sal S-A-L, which was interesting. It was very good. I thought all the things that were freshly made were good like that.

Oh, so it's funny to just be like, you're fighting a battle. I don't know why I'm talking about fighting battle so much. But it's like, it's our general Sal. Hey, how you doing? It doesn't work. General Sal's is cool. General Sal sucks. And you were saying, I guess it is like that is an American thing.

Yeah. Possibly. General Sal's. Yeah. I think so. I think that dish is American on origin. Yeah. A lot of American Chinese food.

It was like a question for Gabriel. Yeah. I thought it was good. I thought General Sal was decent. I liked it. I liked it. Yeah. It was like fine.

It just all gave me the feeling of like school lunch of the week they're trying to be healthy. Interesting. That's the burrito gave me, it was like, oh, if this was at a college campus, I would like this, but like food at a college campus is a lot of the times like sucks. Yeah. It's like a tier maybe above high school cafeteria food, like, but very close to it. It's almost the same feeling like you're saying like a healthy health week. That was my experience of it.

Yeah. I'm so happy you guys pay. Because I think if I paid for this, I would be like spitting mad. Yeah. About the quality of the food. Well, yeah. It's like, yeah, this free meal was not great for me, but no. Yeah.

I think that it was that chicken was like, I think if I had made my own at home from like a microwavable Generosa's chicken, I would have enjoyed it more than that. Yeah. It tasted like something I enjoy from Panda Express. Did it? You know, like it was fine. Yeah. But I would rather have Panda.

You know what? I don't love this is a weird, but I don't like a green tortilla. Yeah. The tortillas were all green and I'm like, there's just kind of unappetizing. Yeah. Yeah. I also come from a house where my dad would throw away moldy pieces of bread. And then like try to keep the bread.

And so like so often I'd be like, oh, I just ate mold because he like, he was like, all right, I took care of the issue. Yeah. So like a green tortilla specifically for me is I'm like, it looks like mold. I don't want to eat the moldy tortilla. Yeah. Yeah. How my dad did the same thing.

He didn't. He just would scrape it off or like cut it out of the bread. How is it a dad thing that bread is, is toasted to hell? Oh yeah. Is your bread like, like crispy toasted? A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah.

It would be like, like right before it was like just completely burnt. It was like very. You gotta take the knife to it and wipe off. Yes. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I think too?

I think this is also, I think toasters are bad. I don't think we've made a good toaster. You know, I heard you talking about how you like toast with butter cut up. Do you have a toaster oven? I do not have a toaster oven. It changes everything because you put the butter on and put the toast in and decide the level of toasting. So it melts immediately onto there.

You're not scraping a hard butter onto a hot toast. This might be the, my mom and I were just, my mom was here for a full week. Ah. It was great likes. We had a blast. But we were toasting. We were eating breakfast every day and. In bed.

Who brought it to you? Did you have a little drink? I'll see if, if, like, just, just to say this, like, if, like I make fun of you for not sharing. And if my reaction to you saying we have, I was like, come on, we didn't have breakfast in bed. Like that would seem weird. Right? This is a thing we have a playful, an existing playful banter about.

I don't know what I'm saying to you. This is the whole thing you fucking invented. I don't know what I'm saying to you. Like when you, like Doth protest too much is like when you get upset about sharing, which I don't, I think you're generous. Yes. But if I did that with my mom was like, we were not in bed together. People would be like, they definitely were in bed.

Now I think you were. I was not in bed with my mom. A lot of times I give her the bed. And I sleep at the foot like a dog. No, she, she, I try to give her my bed this and she wanted, she was like, I'm going to sleep in the, she wanted to sleep on the blowup mattress. She wouldn't take my bed. That's nice.

But we solved that. We got to sleep. We got to sleep her couch. Oh, there you go. So now she's, she was just going to sleep on the couch whenever she comes out here. But, but anyways, we were making breakfast a lot. And, and we were, and my mom was like, toasters suck. My mom was like, toasters have always been bad.

I think she's right. I think toasters aren't good. I think a toaster oven is maybe what I should invest in. I don't, I don't know if there's a good toaster. I have a combo toaster oven air fryer. Interesting. It kind of helps with a lot of things because you can like quick cook some tater tots or you can put a little toast in there with cheese on it and then cheese melts right onto it.

It's a good like low stakes toast. That's what I get. I get to invest in one of these. You're a toaster man, right? I have a, I just have a straight up toaster. I, my toaster's been okay, but I will say that I reached a point where my previous toaster just broke and I was like, how do you, I was like trying to like so, like so hard to like fix this toaster and like figure out a place to repair a toaster.

Careful. And everything happened to Homer. Yeah. It's like, I started with one of Natalie's relatives about like, she repairs like sewing machines. She works with like old sewing machines. She's basically like any sewing machine that's made modern, made contemporarily is like made with a bunch of plastic components and it's not even worth repairing.

Like old like print, like sewing machines pre 1970 were made like a bunch of metal components and like you could go, like they could last forever if you maintain them. And now everything's so fucking cheap. And it's the same thing with toasters. Like I was looking around and it's like, there's just no way to repair this. There's no place that's going to repair this. It's cheaper for me to just buy a new toaster and throw this one in the fucking garbage. It felt so profoundly wasteful, but that's just everything in our society.

Right. So like, anyway, so I got, like that toaster worked great for a while then it eventually broke. I got a new one. Toasters working pretty well for me. As far as the butter thing, I keep my butter in a dish on the counter and you know what? It's fine. If you cover it.

Yeah, I cover it. Yeah. I get a little butter dish. I got a butter dish too. I like, I like that room temperature butter. Yeah. If you were to travel back in time, I feel like you would go to the Weigah residence in 1979 and be like, don't do it.

And then your mom and dad would just be like, they would just not know. And then you just disappear and a big smile on his face fades away. That's one of the darkest things I've ever heard. You're blowing back to prevent your own burn. I don't want you to kill me. Welcome to Dough Boys. I'm Mike Mitchell here with my co-host Matt Koalik. Who still exists?

Nothing quick. We're in a cardboard box. Talking into bananas. So, why could it ever being born means podcast ever? Like, after a phone call. Koalik and I went crazy, I guess. Well, look, we got to get to our final thoughts on Aeroon. Here's what we'll do.

We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Dough Boys and our fork scores right after this. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, the Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about our next partner, which has truly made a positive impact on the most important people in my life. No, I'm not talking about why he's over here or Koalik. I'm talking about my cats. That's right.

Wow. That old food would stink. It smelled terrible, Wags. You came into the house. You smelled it. What's the smell? It's not me. Cat food?

Yes, it's not me. It's the cat food. That's what I said to you. That's why I'm so happy I found our next partner, Smalls. Mitch, it's a new year and you've decided to update the cat food that you feed your cats. That's why you, the listener, have got to try Smalls. That's right, Wags. It's 2023 for crying out loud.

Are you still feeding your cat kibble? Now is the time to update your cat food with Smalls. Smalls cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients you'd find in your fridge and it's delivered right to your door. Smalls was started back in 2017 by a couple of guys home cooking cat food and small batches for their friends. Today, Smalls has served millions of meals to cats all across America. At this point, you might be wondering, why can't I just feed my cat kibble?

When it comes to big pet food, let's just say you don't want to see how the sausage is made. Think pink sludge getting extruded at extremely high temperatures. Ew. If that sounds gross, Wags, imagine having to eat it every day. Smalls takes a different approach. It is cooked gently just like food would be in your own kitchen and they work with leading cat nutritionists to create recipes that are exactly what your little furball craves and needs.

After making the switch to Smalls, 78% of cat owners reported their cats had shinier and softer fur and 90% reported overall health improvements and that is a big deal. Wow. I said fur weird, but still, the point stands. People know what you meant. They know you're talking cat fur. The team at Smalls is so confident your cat will love their product that you can try it risk-free.

That means they will refund you if your cat will need their food. Wags, you know what? When it comes to Wally and Irma's fur, they're much softer cats now, Wags. They got a nice coat. Their fur is nice and fluffy. They love their food. They're always crying for it. Wally and Irma love Smalls.

They love that soft cow. They want to eat that soft cow. Wow. I don't blame them. Remember, higher quality ingredients mean a healthier and happier life for your kitty. That's the best offer you'll find, but you have to use my code DOEBOYS for 50% off your first order. One last time that's promo code DOEBOYS for 50% off your first order plus free shipping.

Do it. Welcome back to DOEBOYS. It's time for our final thoughts on Aero Wand. So Dan, Ryan, here's how this will work. We'll each go down the line, give our final thoughts, if you will, a closing argument. I opened the can. Sorry. What?

I opened the can. It's okay. Okay. Sorry. All right. Go ahead. I mean, that's like, hey, Emma, you probably could have edited that out if you hadn't spoken over it, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Emma's nodding. Yeah. I was talking to my mic and you did it over there by your mic. She probably could just duck to your mic. It would have been fine. I just want to, if someone heard, I want to know it was a can.

Okay. Go ahead. But yeah, Emma could have covered it. So we're each going to give our closing arguments on this chain and then give it a score from zero to five forks. Dan, seated to my left, we'll begin with you. Yeah. You can probably tell from the way I've been talking about it, but I don't think there

was anything I ate that I would order again. Wow. Maybe the drink we had, the pineapple drink. Pretty good drink. It's a good drink. But at a price, I would probably just overpay for one at like juice or Joe in the juice or one of those places. Yeah.

The Trader Joe's juice place. Yeah. Which is, I guess, two can piss. Orangey two can piss. So yeah, I don't really like what the place represents, not that I'm like some big class warrior. Sure. And I didn't really like any of the food, so I would say one star.

One fork. Wow. One fork, I'm sorry. No, one star equals one fork. Wow. That's what it's easy enough for us to do. No, but I should have said one fork. No, you're fine.

No, I should have said one fork, Nick. Would you want to take it again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Emma, if Dan just says like one fork instead of one star, if he just says one fork, you can just like fix that, right? And post. Yeah.

Okay, she's nodding. She's saying, yeah. Well, I want to, but Mitch is about to open a big soda. Yeah. I have a lineup of cans. That is a big soda, man. My old 80 answer that I saved by the end of the show. One fork.

One fork, yeah. Ryan, your thoughts, your fork score. You know, I think some of what I didn't like about it could have been due to my own ordering. I think if I would have gone in on my own and gotten like just the one or two things that I really liked, I would be pretty happy taste-wise and food-wise, but I do feel uncomfortable at that place and with the vibe. So I would give it three forks. Three forks.

Wow. Yeah. All right, smooth man. What do you think? I'm in kind of the same area as you guys. I should just, I agree with, with Lippert that this is, this was the sip of the trip here, why is this a, this pineapple dream, but again, $11, it's pretty pricey. I mean, I guess in the juice world, not even that crazy, but the markup on almost every

other item is, is, is pretty wild. Juices may be the place where they kind of do a decent job. Yeah. The burrito was decent. We had, we had the good gut shot. We didn't talk about. Oh, we didn't talk about the gut shot. It tasted like gasoline.

It was, it was way too big of a shot. Yes. It was a huge shot and we've split it up between the four of us. So all of us got a little taste and it tasted like shit. Right. It was like, it was bad. I did love it. How are your guts feeling right now though?

Not great. Okay. It's the good gut shot. My gut feels like fine, I guess. There was a lot of other ear one bullshit that I ate, but I, I, my guts feel as gross as they normally do. Um, the spicy salmon roll was okay, the Haley Bieber, strawberry, glaze, skin, smoothie. It was all right.

I don't know. Overall, why like maybe the cakes were some of them, actually the, the buffalo cauliflower was probably my favorite food item. Um, I don't know if I'll ever, I'm almost positive I'll never eat at this, this food market ever again at the hot bar at, at era one ever again, I may never step, step foot in an era one. I've never been in one. They don't seem really convenient, right?

They kind of feel like- It depends on where you live. Yeah. They seem out of the way. I don't know. Uh, I'm going to go, I'm going to go two and a half forks. That's it for me. Yeah.

They may not be convenient to you, bitch. There are, they are cloistered in neighborhoods that tend to be very well off. So it's like, it's, you know, there's, there's a Beverly Hills one. There's one in Calabasas. There's a different timeline for me where like, I was a fit kid and I like kept on that track. Right. And I just like kept going in that world and I'm an era one guy now.

I'm going to fit adult club or whatever, but that didn't happen. That's not the road I took. No. And I don't fucking, I don't, I don't like it. The price point is bad. You make like workout mindset videos on TikTok. If I was a, what's his name, Billy blanks, if I became a Billy blanks guy, I took a Tybo class with Billy blanks.

Wow. Yeah. He taught the ones that UCLA and I was out here for a summer theater camp and he taught one that I was in. I couldn't get through it. It was really difficult. That's amazing. It was really hard.

Was he nice? All business. You know what? A lot of punches. I respect that. I like that. He beat the shit out of me, but that's what you got to expect when you're in Billy's Tybo.

Oh yeah. That, that's what that is. Wow. The man himself. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Just a different world, I guess that I'm not a part of. And uh, yeah, two, two and a half, four.

I mean, whatever it's fine, but I don't, just even the descriptions of, I got to go into an era one. That's, I, so I guess I get a partially incomplete because I think I'm the only one who's never stepped foot in an era one before. Yeah. But look, I've been in an era one a few times. I definitely had, like some of the biggest sticker shock of my life, the first time I went in one, when there was one that was newly opened near where I used to live, uh, the

Sadabotica location and I went in there and it was just like, I cannot believe how expensive like, you know, uh, whatever like butter is. Like this is just, this is truly wild, but you know, some of the stuff I don't mind. Um, I've had some discussions with a friend of the show. You know, the dumbbells host, Ryan Stanger, who's super duper conscious about what he puts in his body, a very, uh, you know, a health conscious dude and like kind of been like, look, it's fucking expensive, but era one has some decent stuff. If you're really trying to be mindful about what you're eating.

So I think it does have its value from that standpoint. I'm going to say this Mitch, this is new to you and we'll see what your reaction is. Before that texture came out that Amelia was putting in an order for era one, I was like, okay, I got to get era one for the show. So I actually went for dinner last night. Wow, this is fucked. Wow. Everything is different now.

Everything is very different now. I asked Natalie is like, would you, would you be all right if I got dinner from era one? She was like, sure. And so I went and I got a couple of things. Got a combo plate, uh, for her with lamb, broccolini and sweet potato and then one for me with a salmon filet, Meyer lemon salad and spaghetti squash. So this is a kin to like a tender greens combo plate.

You know, you get a protein, a starch and a, uh, and a green vegetable. Do you guys feel kind of betrayed like I do? And so we shared, we shared the vegetables, I had our own proteins. I'd say the salmon filet was like under seasoned and a little overcooked, but it was fine. But again, these were just both very like, like quite, quite expensive, especially versus like a tender greens. I got some wild tuna roll sushi, which was better than the sushi we had today, Mitch. And it was also a lot simpler.

But I was like, this is pretty decent. And honestly, probably the best value of anything I got there at 12.99 for like 12 pieces. Uh, we got some raw strawberry pie, super duper buttery, because it was like raw and sugar free. So they think they were trying to do something to overcompensate for that. And that David did give it a little bit of flavor, but it just, uh, it just was, it was a very oily bite. And also the hardcore greens drink, which I don't love that name, but it did live up

to it was like super duper acidic and, uh, and, you know, just like just potent green flavor. Um, but, uh, but I was, I probably again, a highlight, a pretty decent juice. I also got a breakfast burrito, which I had this morning, Mitch. And I will say the heating is the heating instructions. I asked you if you ate breakfast this morning, you said, yes, I did. Yeah. Yeah.

And little did I know it was. Yeah. I was going to tell you on the show. Wow. Wow. Yeah. This was a veggie breakfast burrito. I'm fine.

I feel bad for Natalie. You probably didn't get to share any of this with them. Uh, veggie breakfast burrito, we shared all of it, veggie breakfast burrito. The heating instructions did not work. They said to heat it in the oven, a conventional oven at 350 for 15 minutes. I did exactly that. It was cold in the middle. I had to microwave it.

Uh, this was fine. A little bit of a dry guy. Again, I had to just throw some like ketchup packets and some sauce on it just to give it a little bit of moisture. Uh, but you know, this was all decent stuff. I think where I land. So you spent like another $500 a year or one? Yeah.

It's outrageously expensive. Um, I think where I land, having had basically three meals in a row there is where, uh, where Rosenberg is, which is that I think this is a three fork chain. It's too expensive. It's inconsistent. It's maybe not for me, uh, except for an unlimited number of situations, like with the juice or like I'd get a fucking latte from their bar and maybe I'd get like a sweet treat or something, like some sort of vegan, uh, vegan dessert.

But well, there were some berries like I talked about early, but for the most part, like this is not for me. And everyone should play back the video where Nick gestured to Ryan and said, I could go with the Jews or. Wait, what? With the juice? The juice? What?

No. I wasn't saying anything. Juice, juice, juice, juice, I lean on juice. Again, Dothbert tests too much. I would never say anything like that. Seems like you maybe did. I was so thrown. I didn't take it that way.

I just. Here's what I'm going to say. Yeah, you're pretty cool with it. You're just rolling with it. I was juice. I don't know. I think this is a three-fork chain. I think it like does what it's trying to do.

I don't think it excels. Like I don't think it, like it, it's like, like, oh wow, this is so notable that, you know what? It costs a lot of money, but you really should go out of your way to go there. I think it's like, it's fine. It's a fucking high-end grocery store and it does that at a degree of competency and to me, that's a three-forker. Do you know where I would just, I went to McCalls with my mom?

Yes. McCalls is great, also like slightly expensive, but like a great local meat market, basically. Relax, actual beef cuts. Okay. And you're mad today? I'm angry today. Why? I don't know.

You're pissing me off. You didn't sleep well last night. You're cranky. Cranky. But I'm like, oh, I could see how like Irwan was something like a McCall, which now McCalls is becoming like a chain, do you know this? I didn't know that. McCalls, they're like having more locations and I'm like, oh, you can see this like become

twisted and not what it originally was and, you know, just be a high-priced food market. I could see that happen with Irwan, but just something that I don't really care to ever have again, I guess. I don't know. Whole Foods is too much for me. I don't like to even go to Whole Foods, so this is not anything that I like. What's going on over there? I'm thinking deep thought.

No, I'm thinking. Because I'm not going to, I don't want to say firmly like, oh, I'll never go here again because I think there are, situationally, I think there are some things I would get from this place. And there's a level of like craveness about this place from a business standpoint that I do kind of admire the fucking, you know, just how brazen it is, how craven it is for them to be like, hey, here's a $30 jar of bone broth. Like this thing that a Vietnamese grandma could make for $0.17, we're going to charge

a 3,000% like upcharge on it just to, just because, you know, rich people will afford to get a 4B. And not as good. And not as good. Yeah. It's like a luxury car brand. Yeah, 100%. We know it's too much.

It drives just like other cars, but it looks nice. That's part of the marketing of it is that we know it costs more and that, that, that means it's exclusive for you. I think I'd be okay with it if the stuff, I'm not okay with it. I'd be more okay with it if the stuff tasted great and none of it like tastes great to me. Yeah. Am I wrong?

No, if that salmon was like better season, that salmon filet that I had, like a better season and like if those vegetables are like, wow, these are really hitting like this baby's squash was good, but nothing was like mind blowing. I feel like that like everything needs to be, needs to really excel to justify this cost. Do you like tender greens? You, you, I do like tender greens. I think they do a great job. Yeah.

Flavorful, you know? Yeah. I think it's like a plate from Tender Greens than from fucking Erewhon. Yeah. 100%. Well, look, that was our view of Erewhon. It's time for a segment. Wow.

Mitch. Can I say something quick? Yeah. Billy Blanks, this is embarrassing for me. He was a former fit kid. So yeah, like, like to just show you like, those are the paths, those are the paths you could take. Yeah.

Same, same class as you. Yeah. Same class. Class of 94, I believe he and I were both fit kids. He was Billy Blanks and you were shooting Blanks. That was just making me think it's a shooting Blanks. All right. By the way, at 12 years, 11 or 12 years old, we can tell.

Like, oh, fuck, you know, oh, you can tell it looks dead. Yeah. That load just looks fucking dead. Pretty empty load. No master chief. Very close to time where I learned how to jerk off from my friends on the trip to Washington DC. I don't know if you guys, did you have that experience where your friends taught you

how to jerk off? No. The fuck are you talking about? I don't know. This is a food show. I had a while to roll the roller coaster. This is the presidential jerk off. The presidential jerk off test.

Bill Clinton oversees it. You jack off into a blue dress. I was in a trip to Washington DC. This is the truth. In seventh grade, I think it was. And my friends were talking about jacking off. And I had never done it. And they were telling me how it worked.

They were saying how they did. I didn't know. It was my first time hearing my friends talk about it. So I did. Wags, as you know. I went home. There was a newscaster on Channel 7 News, WHDH, who I thought was attractive. I went to the tub.

I laid down with some baby shampoo. And I jacked off for the first time. So hang on. You saw her, got the image in your head, and then went to the tub. You didn't want to do it in the room because you were sharing the room? Yeah. Well, no, I wasn't sharing the room. I was like, I'm going to do it in the shower.

What part of this was, though, was your invention? What part was like, okay, these guys were talking me out of jackoff. I'm going to do what they told me. And what part was like, because lying down in the tub, that wasn't part of their instructions. No, I don't think that was part of the instructions. Also, as these guys don't know, as the first time I ever masturbated, my dad came into the shower. He peed, he was stepped, as I was coming, my dad's foot was coming down onto my, like, he was about to step on me.

Your first load was shooting out and like the Monty Python opening. To me, this tells me everything about you. Like, there's the formative moment. That's the day I became a comedian. My dad was like, that looks like a dead load. Do you have a name for this? Wait, baby shampoo, though, that couldn't have been your go-to. My dad used baby shampoo forever.

But I mean for like, how long? I do wonder if there's like a correlation between like, maybe baby shampoo, I use it too much, my dick, you know, that's why it explains my dick size. It just became so soft that there was never an increase in a go. You were also inspired by the no tears thing. You were like, oh, I can do this without tears. But that was, I asked my, I later, the lager knows this, but I later was like, hey, what was going on? I was like in the shower and he told me this is the worst part.

Well, not the worst part of it, but he's like, oh, I thought your mom was in there. That's what he said to me. Which is like, I was like, ugh, fucking sucks. So he was going to step on your mom? He was, I mean, he was like, oh, when he said I was about to step on me. Like, he was like, oh, this is, you know, like a... Oh, there's a little kid jacking off in here. And no lock on that bathroom.

No. A door? So this is a part of your whole, like, pathology with bathrooms. There's no locks in any of my doors. Yeah, that's a hard thing. Really? Yeah. By choice or just by... I mean, it's just an old, it's like, you know, like an old house.

Yeah, yeah. It was like, you know, probably a hundred years old now or so. I don't know, somewhere in there. And so like the door, like, they would just walk in all the time. My parents would walk in all the time. Feels like knocking has to become a priority in a house with no locks. 100%. You would think that.

You would think that would become a thing, but it did not become a thing. Why the bathtub? I don't know. I think maybe one of my friends did it in the shower or something like that. I think that was a part of it. But lying down in the bathtub? Yeah, fully flat. I'm lazy.

I don't know what do you want from me? Yeah, I was fully flat. I was like kind of rested backwards. Okay. Like, you know, like tub, you know, a little bit like a tub situation. But I was pretty low, I think. As like, you know, as things started going. I don't know how in detail I should get about this, but do you want more details?

I think you told us pretty much everything. How much more detail you could get into. Are there any more details? But then also, did you have this experience? Like later, like I told, I was like, I jacked off. I like told other kids and other kids like, that's fucking gross. Like some kids thought it was gross. I never talked about it with my friend.

Like it never came up. That's probably the smarter route. Maybe it was. But now I talk about it like on things that exist for all eternity. I guess it's like what's better. I was like pent up. The first time I ever came, I didn't really know I was jerking off. And I was just laying down and being 12.

But celebrity death match was on. Oh, wow. Let's get it on. Yeah, click me. Listen, you really listen to those directions. Wow. Wow. I had a wet, my first time I had a wet dream.

I was, so there'd been this girl that I'd like been on dates with. I didn't realize what's going on dates with in high school. She's been like, we should just go hang out. And she's like, okay, cool. And like we just like to drive around and stuff and like hang out. And then so I had a dream. And I was just at a park, public park. And there's a dude playing sousaphone.

Like one of those like big, to like tubas you put on, you wear. And he's like, boom, boom, boom. He's like playing like some like kind of polka, you know, sort of march with his sousaphone. And I was watching him in the park. And this girl just comes over, this girl that I'd been kind of going on dates with. Even though I didn't realize it sits down on the park bench next to me. And I just like looked at her and they just looked at the sousaphone player. And he just played for a little bit.

And they just fucking busted. And I woke up. I forgot we were in a dream. I was like, no. Oh yeah, it's a wet dream. You forgot that he was in a dream because it's like a boring reality. It's like a boring thing to happen. Like, like, oh, he was on a date.

It seems really boring, but your dream was the sousaphone, which I know. I knew about the sousaphone. Anyways, that concludes our talk about Erdogan. That was our segment, first nut. Everybody guess from here on out has to talk about their first nut. Look, it's time for a segment. Time for Slop Quiz. We're in the world edition.

And as we're doing this, Dan, you were very kind. You brought us a sweet treat to munch on. Tell us about where we're going to have here. We had some chocolate. These are from Valerie confections. Wow. Which there's a handful of these in LA, including one right next to where my landlord's office is. I was dropping off the rent.

And I was like, this might be a little treat since you guys are buying us lunch. I will say, now that I'm looking at them, these are not really probably good. Oh, and they're all messy. Sorry. That's all right. But to eat on Mike, because they're very, like, chewy, caramel-y things. Got it. They look great.

The flavors, they gave me a free sample of like a sesame caramel one, which is like a long one. Wow. If you see that, I got three. So there's one for each of y'all. So one's kind of an oblong that I'm holding, kind of a half a lips. Egg one she threw in for Easter. She was like, I'll throw an egg one for you for free.

I got this one. It looks salted. I think that might be the caramel or the sesame one I was talking about. Okay. Let's see here. Yeah, give it a shot. While we're doing this, here's how the squids are going to work. The same.

The three of you must determine where in the world the following foods originate. This was compiled by our associate producer, Mila Burino. All right. First up. I got the sesame one here. Oh, it's good. First up. Where in the world did fries originate?

Your options are A, France, B, Belgium and C, United States. Mitch. Yeah. Belgium. I forgot to copy paste the answers. Hold on. That sesame one is wild. What do you think?

I like it. I took a bite of it, but do you want to try it? No, I'm good. I like this one. It's fucking good. I really liked it. I might go back for more at some point because it was really good. I'm surprised by it because, sorry, you're right.

I'm very chewy. Where's that fucking email? I'm like, I've never had this combo, I don't think. It's fucking great. Yeah, it is. It's like sesame seed. Toasted sesame seeds? Yeah.

There's one of these in Grand Central Market, Valerie. There's one in Echo Park, and at least that one Echo Park was like a big staple of mine for a while because they have a soft scrambled eggs there. That is so good. I highly recommend it. What did you guess, Mitch? Belgium. Mitch, you are correct.

Belgium is the answer. I could totally that. I was right. Yeah. Next up, where in the world did peanut butter originate? A, Canada, B, England, C, United States? I feel like that's us, the United States. I just gleeked.

I almost got you. Fucking exploded all over me. It was good though. Not United States. What was the first two? A, Canada, B, England. I was going to say Canada, but then I looked over and I saw the answer. You were correct.

Oh, great. Yeah. I trust you, honor system. All right, next up, pasta. A, Italy, B, China, C, France? Mitch. Yes, Mitch. Wait, China.

You are correct. You got two. How did you know that? Because I think just the back of like noodles, you know what I mean? Sure. And it's older. And it's older. It's older.

It's old. Old. All right, next one. Number four is fudge brownies. Your options are A, New Orleans, the Bayou, B, Philadelphia, or C, Chicago? Dan, Philadelphia? Philadelphia. Not Philadelphia.

New Orleans. Not New Orleans. Not the Bayou? Well, I'm going to go with the other answer that I don't remember. Mitch, it's Chicago. I'll give it to you. You will? Yeah.

All right, Chicago. All right, next up. Fudge brownies, that makes sense. It seems like it's Chicago. I can't believe how much caramel I have all over my hands. How'd you get it up your arm? Oh, wow. That one's a leaky one.

Oh, I see how. Because you ate it by putting three of your fingers in your mouth. Sometimes you got to do it. Sometimes you got to frickin' lick fingers. I didn't mean to do this to you, Dan. No, this is not your fault. This is good. Maybe you just got a piece of chocolate.

Fucking fist in your mouth. Where in the world is Kool-Aid from? A. Hastings, Nebraska. B. Indianapolis, Indiana. C. Jonestown, Guiana. Ooh. The last one makes me want to say it. Like, I want it to be...

I'll say it. I'll be bold enough to say Jonestown, Guiana. No, that's a reference to the Jonestown cult. A mass massacre. I guess I'm going to say the next one, Nebraska. You are correct, Ryan. Love it. I'm the guy who considered the $100 question

if it was to be a billionaire. I'm going to say it. All right, three left. Still anyone's game. Mitch has three. Rosenberg has two. Next up, Popsicles. A. Boston, B. Lansing, Michigan, and C. Oakland.

Mitch. Go ahead, Mitch. Michigan. Not Lansing, Michigan. Oh, fuck, I'm going to be so mad if it's Boston. Me, Oakland. Yes, you are correct. Knotted up at three apiece.

Got to be hot. They got to make it when it's hot. Makes a lot of sense. Good point. Next up. Idiot. Bloody Mary. Don't say it too much.

Not near a mirror, it's fine. One of the answers is the Netherrealm. A. London, B. Los Angeles, C. New York City. I'll say A. London. That's a good answer. Not London. Really? They're both wrong because they said good answer.

Los Angeles. No, it's not Los Angeles. I was going to say New York City. It's New York City. All right, you've got four. Case salsa. What is that one of us? We should have known from that.

Both tomato-based and makes sense. Get a rope. Remember that? That was the end of it? Yeah. Oh, they're going to hang him. They're going to hang him. They're going to hang him.

They're going to hang him. They're going to hang salsa. Time up and fuck him apparently. Well, I think they eventually... Apparently? What do you mean apparently? Apparently. What?

Let's do it all. Just in case. Let's get it all. No more improv. No more improv, I'm Ted. No more improv from this guy. What? All right, finally.

Uh, a almost caviar. This is the Guinness world record holder for the most expensive caviar on the planet can cost up to a thousand dollars per ounce The options are a romania b iran or c mitch's house Think back when I first jacked off did I see any of that caviar My god What was it was iran and what else romania romania I have my answer, but i'm gonna i'm gonna i i want this to be a close game

Maybe this will be worth more than one point. All right. Well, this will just decide it The fuck Well, if it's not if it's worth more than one point. It's going to decide it. I have an answer. I have an inkling But not an answer My answer is romania Mitch i'm sorry Wow, fuck god Is it mitch's house?

No, it's not mitch's house Dan I'm gonna have to try mitch's house one more time No, not mitch's house. Casey you want to guess? Uh, I forgot what the Yeah, uh iran is the other option. I'm gonna go with iran. Casey takes it. Congratulations You have won. We're in the world Uh, just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's open up the feedback and hey Here's today's question

It's from jamie from portland I'm currently doing my internship to be a school psychologist and i'm having a hard time bringing my lunch All this bowl talk from our tournament of champions much badness bowl because they need something fast Moderately healthy and can be transported to my schools. All this bowl talk has inspired me rather However, i'm completely overwhelmed with conceptualizing what elements i need grain protein, etc How would you break down the elements of a lunch bowl a basic outline? If you will a guide to make sure all the nutritional bases are covered. Thanks so much. Thanks jamie Wow, we talked about bowls a lot in the month of march mitch

uh This is a great question because I like as much as I I I eat bowls for sustenance I don't make I don't take bowls to go all that often Does that ever remove uh either of you will do like will you make like a lunch bowl and like take it with you My love a home food for me. My leftovers usually end up kind of turning into bowls Oh, sure. I do like the hello fresh thing where you cook one meal and then it has like a leftover one So i'll usually put that into a little into it to go like separate But then i'll just mix it all together when I eat it. So it kind of ends up like a bowl

That's a good move actually leftover bowl. I like that a lot. Yeah, I think that wow I think that you need to have I I think that it needs more than just lettuce. I don't because that then you're a salad then you're making a salad Yeah, so I think it needs some sort of grain for me. I think it's a protein grain and green I think those are the big three for a bowl. Yeah, and maybe a topping and a sauce. Yeah a topping sauce your flavors after that Yeah, yeah, that's that's I think I think yes protein Uh green grain topping. That's that is I think those you got a bowl if you got those four ingredients So if you've got like let's say, okay, we got I get some I get some quinoa

I've got some, uh, you know, I got some some spinach some raw spinach And I've got like some, you know chunks of tuna I'm gonna throw that on to a like I'm gonna like start a bowl with that and then I've also got some I don't know I've got some slivered almonds. I'll throw on there and then maybe like some green goddess dressing Then you're starting to get somewhere. You got some skin glaze Little skin glaze. Yeah I think that there's got to be in a bowl one item that you're definitely excited about Oh, that's a great cause to me the bowl is almost heartbreaking. Yeah, because it's like, uh, I'm doing this for my health and for speed

So for me, it's got to be like the meat's got to be an exciting like a pastore or a Well-seasoned chicken or some sure that I can kind of like every bite has the thing that's like, oh, yeah And then the rest is like, yeah, this is good for me. I but I think that's a great call I I also though like I could have like some parmesan crisps or like just like a dressing area I really like a chip like a chipotle ranch and that could do that. Yeah that role But I like that idea like one component you're excited about it's a great role I think you can pick like a um, I don't know what you would call it But like an area like you could make a greek bowl or a mexican bowl or uh

And so like that's a good way for me to conceptualize it because the sauce is also important to me Like I like like a feta Like a feta sauce or something, but I don't love just feta cheese plain. You know what I mean? Yeah, I gotcha I like a good greek bowl though. That's the a greek bowl is right up my alley That's kind of can I say a thing you can do and I think you could just have in your Uh in your fridge and anytime you're making a bowl you can throw one of these on there Hard boiled egg Just have some hard just hard boiled some eggs in a batch take one out

Crack it open cut it in half or slice it up toss it on there. You got a little extra protein That'll work with pretty much everything. I like that. It's a good one. I like that I also think something that's good with the bowl is keeping your wet ingredients and dry ingredients separate until you want to eat it So you can have like a little dressing thing on the side or even like my tomatoes or black beans I'll keep separate because they don't make everything else weird. You know, I agree with that also another thing This is important too It's got to be in some sort of container that is bowl like right. Don't pull this shit Where you put it on a plate. No, don't put it on a plate. It's not it's not a bowl

It's got to be in and out Look, I'll say that like the container one of those fucking ziploc or whatever those container the The hefty containers those count. Yeah, that's a bowl. That's a bowl to you. I have to container Yes, that's that's exactly you imagine that somebody has put a bowl on a plate to go and put saran wrap over it That's a possibility. I think that that could be it Uh tin foil over a plate. Yeah, I just saying you can't make a if it's bulls got to be in a in something that's got depth Yes, yeah, and he's depth and also like not like a tall plate If we're talking a fucking tall plate

I ain't doing these Yeah, all right, this kind of works. I think that that that works. I think tanner is okay container is okay If you're gonna want to mitches bowl parties with a tall plate get ready to get fucking roasted Get the rope You have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants You can email it's a dolboy's podcast at gmodel.com or leave us a voicemail 830 go to this 830 4636844 and to get the dolboy's double our weekly bonus episode join the golden or platinum plate club at patreon.com Slash dolboy's dan libert ryan rosenberg such a treat to have you

Thank you so much for reviewing arrow on the podcast is man dog pod. It's so fun. It's so funny people should check it out Uh, give it a listen. Tell us about the show anything else you want to plug Uh, man dog is an improv and conversation podcast You can find it for free anywhere you get podcasts and then we have a patreon where we have video of the episodes But yeah, we have guests on to do improv and then and we chat in between We've done a ton of improv at ucb and other sketch and improv places So that's kind of what we kept doing with our podcast and then big grande website.com is our group with john mackey and drew Tarver and we we sell all a cart podcast including one that should be out by the time this comes out called exit 43

It's 20 Uh improvised like 20 minute ish long mono scenes in different locations at the same uh exit Root off of a whatever freeway hilarious dudes and those guys are hilarious as well and a great setup That's a great the system you got there is great. We've talked about it before. Yeah, great Uh, and by the way, we are going to be guesting on an episode of man dog pod that we're recording The same day as we're recording this episode of doe boys. Not sure what will come out first But look if you never listen to the pod don't listen to that one. Don't listen to that one Nick and I are gonna suck it up pretty bad

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Uh, I mean ad chad Emma. Can you fix that in the edit? Sources for the intro are in the episode description That was a hit gum podcast