Doughboys - Honeybee Burger with Mort Burke

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Mort Burke aka Fork Burp (Mythic Quest, Drunk History, Spiritually Filthy) joins the 'boys to talk St. Louis eats, late-night munchies, and 80s pop culture before a review of Honeybee Burger. Plus, another edition of Food Court. Sources for this week's intro: https://editorial.rottentomatoes.com/article/interview-jerry-seinfeld-on-bee-movie/ https://www.boxofficemojo.com/release/rl1984202241/ https://www.fastcasual.com/articles/honeybee-burger-a-plant-based-burger-with-passion/ https://www.qsrmagazine.com/exclusives/wall-street-vet-aims-disrupt-plant-based-category https://www.honeybeeburger.com/about Sponsored by Better Help. Go to betterhelp.com/doughboys for 10% off your first month. Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doboysmedia. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business.

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Jerry Seinfeld's eponymous sitcom is considered by many critics the apex of its form, the Sopranos of multi-cams. So in 2007, a decade after the series finale, when Seinfeld finally returned to narrative comedy, many were surprised his chosen project was to co-write and star in an animated film about a bee. Bee Movie, upon his sweetest sweet, sweet honey, told the story of Barry B. Benson, a litigious bee who dreams of fucking a human lady. In a 2007 interview with Rotten Tomatoes, Seinfeld answered the question everyone was asking, why? Simply with, quote, I just wanted to do something different, end quote. Upon release, Bee Movie proved a mild hit, though far from the pop culture sensation

of its DreamWorks animation stablemate, Shrek, let alone the sitcom, Seinfeld. But it did provide another data point in our shifting cultural relationship with that black and yellow insult we love, and love to hate, the bee. For much of history, mankind is loathe its fearsome stinger while coveting its precious honey. But as climate change and growing waves of extinction pulled our delicate ecosystem into focus, the centrality of bees in pollination transformed their public image. And it was this noble, selfless, hunted and exploited bee, whose hives must be preserved for life to sustain on earth, that inspired both Bee Movie and a vegan burger concept founded in

2019 by Wall Street financier turned animal rights advocate Adam Weiss, who named his fledgling restaurant chain after the winged wasp relative. As quoted in a fast casual profile by Pat Shea, Weiss said, quote, I can't help but appreciate their importance as pollinators and how they naturally go about their business helping crops grow and beautifying our planet, end quote. And like Seinfeld, Weiss' pro bee advocacy is couched in humor, with cheeky marketing and menu names meant to provide an opening to vegan curious omnivores. Today, Jerry Seinfeld is reuniting with his fellow Bee Movie screenwriters Spike Feristan

and Barry Martyr for the upcoming Netflix film Unfrosted, The Pop-Tart Story. And as for Weiss' plant-based burger chain, with a popular location in Los Angeles and a sister store soon to open in the Big Apple, this emerging player is creating its share of buzz. This week on Doe Boys, Honey Bee Burger. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Timothy Chalamanez, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Chalamanez. Chalamanez.

Who was this, too? I'm just giving a little like, hey, the show's starting. It's a big show. I do that sometimes. Yeah. Chester sometimes. Mitch is referring for audio listeners. I had my arms outstretched. So I was like, kind of like, hey, here's the show. We're starting the show. Probably what it was was that my tone didn't match the gesticulation. Yeah.

I think that was part of the issue. I was kind of like, welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. But I'm also used to that with you in many ways. Yeah. Peter from Nashville sent that roast in. I have to give credit to my buddy and fellow listener Travis for this idea, but it needed to be submitted. Roast, Spoon Man, and G-M-A-C-I. Nashville. We've been down to Nashville. We've been to Nashville?

Mm-hmm. The Nash. It's nice. The Nash. We've been down to Nash. Walking with our feet 10 feet off of Beal. Beal, the... Isn't that Memphis? Oh, fuck.

Those cities don't like each other. You know what? Did you know that? Those cities do not care for each other. It's fucking... There's a tendency divide. It's fucking Memphis. It's Memphis, yeah.

It's walking in Memphis. It's Mark Cohn. Is that who sings it? Sounds right. I fucked it up bad. No, you're fine. Don't overthink it. No, it's bad. It's not bad.

It's real bad. Nashville. So when we were in Nashville, your kickstarter sucks, we went out and were like, I was like, hey, let's go watch a Grizzlies game. It was during the NBA playoffs. You go to bars like,

we don't fucking show that. They were like, they put on one TV of eight TVs, like a sports bar. And then Jesse Ferraro was telling me, yeah, they don't like Memphis here. Really? It's like San Francisco and L.A.

It's like the two cities don't care for each other. It's not that big of a state, though. It's not that big of a state, one would think. And it's also like, that's the one professional, there's two professional sports teams in the city, in the state rather, right?

The thrashers are the other ones. Oh, I forgot about the NHL. Yeah. So there's like an NHL team, there's a NFL team, there's an NBA team, but you'd be like, oh, if I like the NBA,

and I'm in Nashville, maybe I'll root for the local Tennessee team, but no. Yeah. If I'm in Dollywood, and it's almost 7 p.m., I'm thinking, it's time to watch the Grizzlies.

That's what I would think. That's what I would think, but no, it's not how they roll. You're in line to get on the roll, of course, that goes into Dolly Parton's tit. That would be like... I think the thing I told you

that you believed, if you remember. Sounded like a thin traction that would be a Dollywood. Something kind of kitschy on brand for her. Mm-hmm. Like Elvis was from Memphis.

Maybe they don't like Elvis in Nashville. That's, how can you not like Elvis? That sounds heretical to me, but who knows? Um, you know what? I liked the movie Elvis,

and I, and even though it was not even close to what he was like in real life, I liked Tom Hanks' depiction of the guy. Colonel Tom. Colonel Tom Parker. Snowman.

He's great. He's the best. I heard that they were like, people were like, he didn't sound like that at all. Yeah, it's like he's, Tom Hanks was like doing a sketch character. No one wanted to give him a note.

My mom comes tonight wise, I told you that. That's right. As of this recording, this episode will be coming out later. Mm-hmm. Um, I got Resident Evil 4 Remake last night.

You're really time stamping this. Who cares? I'm just saying a few weeks, people are still going to be buying Resident Evil 4 Remake in like three weeks or whatever. It's just your ability to be like, hey,

what's this episode's not coming out like tomorrow, but like let's just make sure we know exactly what day it was recorded. My mommy is coming tonight. Yeah, your mom is coming. Resident Evil Remake is out today. And came out last night.

You can figure out what exact date this all transpired. But I'm already pissed because I know that she's going to like yell at me for playing video games. It's funny that she's coming when a new video game has come out. I'm going to get yelled at.

It's going to feel very much like I'm a kid again. Michael, what do you sell into the merchant? Michael, don't catch La Plaga. Oh, the chainsaw guy, you have to run around for a few minutes before it moves on.

Michael, don't try to confront the chainsaw guy. He's not exactly a boss in the traditional sense. You're more supposed to avoid him. Which is fucking, I forgot about that. Yeah, chop your fucking head off.

The game is tricky. It's an all-timer. It's an all-timer. You know what? When I was playing, I was like, I don't know if this does the update well, and then I played it for another hour. I've only played the demo at this point,

but you know what else? We're talking video games. I just finished Metroid Prime Remastered. Wow. It's a fucking A-plus remastered. It's absolutely nailed. It mostly looks and feels exactly like a modern game.

Can I ask you a question? No. When they revealed Samus as the lady at the end, did you nut? I was like, this is bullshit, man. I was playing it chick the whole time. All right, Wags, here's a little drop. We've made our guess it through

fucking dog shit for far too long. Here we go. This is new. Here's a little drop. Oh, wait. Wags, here's a little drop. What was I doing? You were reading the...

Email first. The email about the drop before playing the drop. I've never done that. You're in your head. Here we go. Here's a little drop. You know what?

I mean, the lyrics are nonsense to anyone who doesn't listen to the show. Our guests are probably like, what the fuck does that mean? But that was a great song. Nice little diddy, very sonorous of pipes on that singer. It makes sense.

Hey, Doughboys at all. Glenn Campbell sent me this recording celebrating President Trump's historic 2016 win from his deathbed. I thought now would be the perfect time. Send it over, considering Mitch has been texting me every day to workshop his Carlsberg pilot.

Thanks, Seagulls. Wow, Seagulls. Seagulls is a Seagulls musician, so it makes sense. Yeah, musical artists. One of our musical fans. I don't know why people who make audio professionally want to listen to this show.

That's a great question. I don't know why people were like... But not to do. I'll listen to the Doughboys. I don't understand why people were like talented or funny. Yes, yeah. Or like want to listen to the podcast

or take part in the podcast. I don't know if people who aren't even creative at all want to have any part to do with it, anything to do with the podcast. But they do for whatever reason. God bless you. And speaking of which, we got a funny, great, talented guest today.

Mitch, very excited about today's guest. An actor and comedian from Mythic Quest and Drunk History. He's got a new special, Spiritually Filthy, which is now available on YouTube. Mort Burke is here. Hi, Mort. Hey, what's up, dudes?

Mort. Thanks for being here. Thanks for making time for us. Mort and Mitch, I don't want to embarrass either of you. Mort and Mitch. Mort and Mitch, it's a good duo. It's a good duo.

Okay, that's very fun. Yeah, M&M. That's a food. Mm-hmm. Something to think about. I don't want to embarrass either of you. Mort, you and I don't know each other. We've met for the first time today.

You seem like a lovely man. We have not just you on the show. I think we have your number one fan in Mike Mitchell. Mitch has been gassing you up like a NASCAR pit crew. He's been talking you up so much. I said, Mort's very funny. Say, Mort's so funny. Yeah.

He'd be so great on the show. We got to have Mort on. And we're excited to have you here. So thanks so much for making time for us. But I just thought you should know, you have a huge advocate in Mike Mitchell. I love Mike Mitchell. We have definitely lower expectations, for sure.

Like, bring it way, the fuck down. Way down, but I love Mike Mitchell. He's a wonderful, he's a beautiful gentleman. I do. And I hope this isn't presumptuous, dudes. But I would like to, if I was thinking about it, I want to give myself a Doe Boys nickname. Please.

Please, yes. I got two. Okay, great. One good one, one bad one. You want the good one first? We'll probably like the bad one more. We'll like the bad one, yeah. The bad, my name is Mort Burke.

The bad one, Mort Burp. I kind of like the bad one. Not bad. Mort Burp is pretty good. Yeah. Because you burp when you eat something. Yeah. Yeah, okay, cool.

That's pretty big. You got it. All right. Mort Burp. Fork Burke. Also good. That's also good. Pretty good, right?

That's also good. I don't want to put a hat on a hat here, but. Mort Burp. Speaking of hats on hats. Yeah. Yeah, that's hilarious. You came in wearing a hat on a hat and you didn't realize you had it on. So Mitch has fully doxed the day of record.

So you know that we're recording this the exact same day we recorded Bread Dead Redemption, which came out a few weeks prior. Who gives a shit? I'm just saying. I'm just saying. What we do is we have our own strategies for these video podcasts, which is that I bring a change of clothes if we're going to record more than one in the day.

Insane. Well, I think it's just like, hey, it just kind of adds to the whatever it's a performance. I'm like, hey, I got a wardrobe change. I get it. I get it. You just wear the exact same thing to every record. So. You've always got a flannel.

That's like what like Brian Wilson would do. That's a full genius move. Yes, it is. It's on another level. But yeah, you got a flannel shirt and a Celtics hat. I do get to say that you this is even because I'm not wearing my hoodie that I wear almost every single day. Yeah.

But this is I like this. This kind of this is kind of a Brian Wilson sweatshirt. He's got a little, you know, kind of a tie dye sort of vibe, not exactly. But I feel like you might get on it. I feel like you might get murdered by the Mansons tonight or something. It feels like very mod almost like hype beast kind of like, yeah, supreme row air. You know, I can't quite pull it off. I went to I was a this is like a the dorky story behind this is that I was down by the

Santa Monica Pier and it was very windy. And I was like, I'm cold. And so I just went in Nordstrom and I saw there was a hoodie on sale and it was this one. I was like, oh, wear this. At any point did you think like, maybe I can't pull that off? Or were you like, yep. I immediately thought I maybe couldn't pull it off. Okay.

But I've gotten compliments on it since. So I'm like, I'm just going to kind of roll this. You know what? You pull it off. Thank you so much. It's kind of like an insult. That's what I love about LA is like where whatever the fuck you want. You know what I mean?

We're watching. I didn't take it as an insult, but I think it is also funny for an insult. He should have thought if he couldn't pull it off. That should have gone through his mind. Yeah, I have that thought all the time constantly. You would have been a great Manson family member because they would have been like, he was the most chilling of all. He didn't say much.

Yeah. But he was like there in the back. I feel like he would have fit in great. She was already dead, but he took the knife and like stabbed her anyway. So I'd be like that guy and help your scalpers. Holy shit. Jesus Christ. They're like, let's cut her head off.

We don't need it. We're fine. We wrote a pig and blood on the wall. We're the Mansons, but yeah. Put the fuck down. To explain your hat and hat thing, yes. I bring a wardrobe change. And so I had the second hat of two on top of the hat I'm wearing now.

And you were like, you're wearing two hats. I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't told me. Yes. Which I was very upset with myself that I did tell you. Yeah. Because it would have been funny for you to have two hats on now and not notice. It would have been good. And with that, with the two hats and that sweater, you look like you were in the middle of mental

health crisis. Like the fans would have been like, we're pretty worried about it. And rightfully so. Because it was really, it was trouble. He looked, he looked, he looked like the wacky member of the Manson family. Even though you can't join. A little goofy. We heard it.

There was a lot of stuff we were talking about before. Casey, I was asking because more skates sometimes I was asking more about skating. That's right. A skateboarder. One is the end date for skating. And then Casey told us this horrific story where he broke his sternum. Broke my head. I can't believe how wrong you got that.

I cannot believe you went to sternum from a hip. He told us about walking on a broken hip. They're close. They're close. They're close. Casey, I'm sorry. I don't want to make you retell this story, but it is an amazing story. Yeah, it's wild.

Yeah. So I used to skateboard and then the pandemic hit. I used to skateboard years ago at skate parks and stuff like that. Then the pandemic hit. Just trying to get outside, do stuff outside. Decided to go back to the skate park, see if I still had it. I do not still have it. Went up on a six foot vert ramp.

Just trying to do a real basic trick. Lost the board and just fell in such a weird way. Broke my head. Broke his sternum. And I'm sorry. Shattered his sternum. Was unaware that it was broken for six weeks. You were in pain, but you didn't know exactly what was causing it.

I mean, I knew I fell skateboarding. Fallen skateboarding before is like, okay, it sucks. It hurts, but I'm walking around so it'll get better. Then when he went to the doctor six weeks later, he said. Six weeks later. The doctor was like, how are you walking? He was shocked that I was walking. He said he'd never seen anyone walk on a broken hip before.

Broken hip on the X-ray, right? Yeah. Wow. He was kind of, you're the toughest man he'd ever seen. That's my takeaway. And I will carry that to the grave. You had a grandpa's injury, but you're being really strong. How was your sternum?

My sternum's fine. Okay. All right. It's good follow up, I feel like. But also, I guess that kind of puts the end date. Because I was saying to you, I've seen like 80 year old men skiing or whatever. And woman. I'm saying like, I've seen like people in their 80s skiing.

Yeah. But I haven't seen like older skateboarders, but it's a young sport. Yeah. It hasn't been around for that long since like with the late 70s, early 80s, basically when it came to fruition. But also, I think there's, I think you may be more, you can speak to this because I haven't been on a skateboard in over 20 years. And you're someone who's skated recently.

If you limit what you're doing, like you're not doing all these, you're not trying to, you know, you're not going catching air. You can probably be a little safer, right? Yeah. Yeah. I like to keep it low impact. I'll do the occasional ollie. The manual is like a wheelie trick.

So you can do those on what they call islands, which are little tiny curbs basically. Oh, okay. So even, but even that is like, I was skating home, but I had cookies in a bag. I want to go get some cookies. That's fun. Yeah. It's going to be a beautiful day. And I've tripped and it is different.

Like your body just bounces off the ground and I like sprained my wrist and I was done for like. Jesus. See, the pain is really different when you're in your like early 40s. You know what I mean? Oh, just, just, just, just like the idea of like falling on cement. Like a thing that I did a lot as a kid and scraped my knee or whatever. Yeah.

It's like that, that could end it. That could be it. I might not ever get up from there, but I will say this. If I'm skateboarding, I want to get air. It's not worth it to me if I'm not getting air. And people know that about you. That's what people say about Mitchell. Like don't hand him the deck.

Yeah. Dude, I need air. That's why I'm staying away. If I'm not getting there, I'm just going to stay away. Right. What's the point? That's right. The cookies were fine.

Wow. That's huge. I sacrificed my body in order to like protect the cookies. Where were the cookies from? This was a grocery store that was close to me when I lived in Westchester. Okay. I don't remember what cookies they were or even why I was so specifically like, like, I remember it was very intentional.

I needed to get cookies, but I don't know why. Maybe I was depressed. I don't know what was that. That's, the cookies should be good for your depression. Yeah. It also brings up a good subject. But first Westchester in, is that a Chicago suburb or? No, sorry.

It's by Inglewood. I lived out there for a little while in LA and then. I should have known that. It's in my, in the close to my city. But why? Because it brings up a very great point that you should ask our guests about cookies. I think we've retired that. I'll ask it.

Fuck. Again, because of where we're recording this a little out of order, the bit will have been retired by the time this is out. I'll ask you. Okay. Is Christmas a cookie holiday? You were the last person to be asked this. You're the last person to be asked this.

Is Christmas a cookie holiday? Traditionally for me, no. Wow. A no. I fucking love it. The book closes on no. The book closes on no. You heard it, folks.

You heard it. Christmas is not a cookie holiday. Christmas is not a cookie holiday. It's done. Done. Boom. Because we weren't even a cookie family growing up, really. So we, yeah, we weren't even, I don't know, cookies.

Yeah. Not really. Wow. Yeah. So you feel yes. No, I feel, I'm a soft no. Okay. Soft no, soft no.

I've been collecting data, but now today it feels like the book is closed on no. I know. It's no. It's an official no. It's official no. I want to step back a second, which is that you spent time in Chicago, which is a big food city, but you're also from St. Louis, which has some foods of its own. And I want to ask you about-

We're talking barbecue. We're talking ribs. We're talking the weird pizza that they have in St. Louis. Tidy pizza. Thin pizza. 100%. Emos. Emos.

Emos is the big one. I want to ask you about is one that I have never had in St. Louis, but I've had the chain version of and I'm fascinated by, which is toasted raviolis. Yo, those are the shit. Wow. I mean, come on. How can those not be good? That's the thing.

So they're, yes. Emos, Imos, whatever the pizza, the gooey butter cake, which you guys mentioned in another episode. We have talked about the gooey butter cake, yeah. Which is tremendous. And the toasted raviolis are all like, they're the food you want at the bar at 1 a.m. Like it's all like, and I say this with love, fat people eating. You know what I mean?

Because it's the best. The Emos pizza is like, there's like mayo and provolone on it, which sounds awful, but it's so good. And the toasted raviolis, there's not much to say because they're exactly as good as you think they are, which is great. We should have gone really mad when he said fat people. We should probably cut that, that's not cool. I want to try.

So gooey butter cake, is that always just in ice cream or is it actually just? Never. It's its own separate cake. And I haven't tried it in ice cream, so I don't know how that goes, but yeah, I can imagine it's like a flavor. I'm a fool. I thought it was more of an ice cream flavor, I'm an idiot. Well, because it's Jenny's flavor, but Jenny's obviously borrowed it from the St. Louis

delicacy. Yeah. Yeah. And it's again, like perfectly described, it's gooey, it's buttery, and baby it's cake. What do we think the whale would like the most? The gooey butter cake, the toasted raviolis, or the Emos pizza? The whale should have maybe moved to fucking St. Louis.

He'd just go out and about and be like, oh, hey, it's the whale. What's up? Are you referring to Brendan Frazier's character from the movie The Whale? Yeah, the whale, the titular whale. That's the whale, yeah. Okay, great. That's like, my brother does this when he watches Die Hard, he calls John McCain, he calls the main character Die Hard all the time, come on Die Hard, that's the best move.

I saw the whale eating a fucking gooey butter cake down by the arch. It's fucking just. Looks good. Yeah. Healthy, happy. Where was he? Was he in Idaho or something? He's in Idaho.

Fucking Idaho? He should have been, he would have been finding Idaho. He should have been, he should have been fucking in St. Louis. I think that the whale would like that gooey butter cake. Honestly, probably. Yeah. Come on. Now that I'm here, like is it warm?

Yeah, you can eat it either way, actually. You can get it straight from the store and you could also like even put it, drop it in a microwave for a little bit, steam it up a little. Because that gooey, it gives you the, what is it, it's like, it's its own kind of moisture, if that makes sense. You know how like like Tiramisu or something is like a moist cake, it's kind of like that shit. Should I, should I email our touring agent and ask to go to St. Louis?

To go to St. Louis. I mean, there's Emo, is it Imo's or Emo's? There's a joke that no one knows how to pronounce it. We call it Imo's, but honestly, you know what else is fun about that pizza is that you can eat like, it's their small little cracker sized slices, so you can eat 40 slices, which makes you feel like a giant. You know what I mean? You're like, I ate all the pizza.

Yeah. Makes you feel like the fucking whale. We're going to go to Imo's. Oh, you're going to have 40 slices of pizza, read my daughter's essay. All right, the whale, calm down. We're at Imo's and we're like, look at over there, it's, it's the whale, he's at a table with Nelly. Nelly and the whale.

Oh yeah, of course they'd be friends. Yeah, they're friends. That makes sense, yeah. Fun Nelly fact. Yes. Amazing bowler. Wow. Isn't that the last thing you thought I was going to say?

Wow. Yeah, we just had the bowl tournament and Nelly was an amazing bowler. That's amazing. That's amazing. Bowler like a 300, there's this kind of famous bowling alley there called the Pinup Bowl and he bowled a 300 there. That's fucking rad. The, the, the other, the Nelly fact that I know, I think, I think, I think it's the

right player, but that he was another guy from St. Louis at the NBA player Bradley Beal. Nelly was Bradley Beal's babysitter when he was a teenager. Wasn't that wild? Here's an, that, that is, wait, Nelly was Bradley Beal's babysitter? Yeah. That is wild. I can't see Nelly being a babysitter. I was, I was a, I was, I was an, I'm the, I'm in the babysitting club.

I was a babysitter at one point. But if you do the age math, it, it makes sense. It makes sense. It would have been a teenager when he was a kid. You always had a Band-Aid handy too if the kid needed it. Yup. Singing to him, hey, you can find me. That was, I made a 1998 joke about Nelly's Band-Aid.

I liked it. I was so in for it. It didn't even occur to me that someone wouldn't get that. Nelly is singing the essay to the whale. That's crazy because Michael Jordan was my babysitter. Get the fuck out of here. No, no, no, no. Oh, sorry.

That's lame. I totally believed it. 100% bye. Does a lie count as a joke? That's what I wanted to do. Honey, I think it does. Yeah, I think it does. 100%.

I mean, that's fucking nice for us. You know, here's a Nelly fun fact. Tip drill, a really horny video I used to watch back in the day. Check it out. You can check it out. I think you can only find it on... Tip drill? Tip drill.

Yeah. I mean, it must be your ass because it ain't your face. I need a tip drill. That's the lyrics to the song. And isn't that a reference to a strip club thing that you do where like, isn't it, I forget specifically, but it's about like... I think you're right. Yes, it's basically, yes.

Some kind of move in the strip club. They're tossing money at... Yeah. Watch it without sound. I got it brought up here. I'm watching it at MLS. And yeah, there is a... It is a horny, horny...

Oh, so horny. It's a horny video. There's a dugout full of very attractive scantily clad ladies while a baseball game is going on. Nelly just apparently bunted a home run. Is that what happened? Yeah, and he did a funny walk off too at the bat. A lot of fun.

And now panties are being thrown. Oh, no, that's a bra. I'm sorry, a brassiere. I can tell you this. This is very horny. This is very horny. At Stocky's apartment in Dorchester, I believe, is where he lived, and after doing some whip hits.

Sure. All the sads up. That's why I told you when Stocky went to the 7-Eleven and he bought like 10 things of whipped cream and then one little pint of ice cream and the guy at 7-Eleven was like, you don't have to buy the ice cream. I know what you're doing. And then he gets back to you and you're like, where's the ice cream? What the fuck?

There was stuff we were saying out there and you said, save it for the podcast. I'm trying to remember why we were mad at each other. Oh, you guys just had a classic Y's and Spoon Man argument. I can't remember specifically what it was about, but it was just a real like... What was it about? I was yelling at you at some point. Yeah, there was yelling. It's fine.

It doesn't matter. Do you remember what was it? We don't need to re-litigate it. Do we not want to talk about it? No, I don't remember what it was. We were talking about sleeping. We were really into how much sleep Nick was getting, which I think is a good subject. And then it moved to something...

He said that he loved waking up in the morning. I do love waking up now. Which is insane. For a guy who doesn't sleep good. But I was yelling at you in some sort of rhyme. I forgot what I was saying. I was saying, whatever, it doesn't matter. I shouldn't bring up a thing that we were talking about before.

But you love waking up in the morning, which is so weird for a guy who doesn't have normal sleep. Well, I've gotten into it now because I've established a sleep schedule. Or at least I'm working on a sleep schedule. I'm trying to stay pretty rigid with that. It's been working well for me. I have a sleep schedule. This is true. I am in bed before 3 a.m.

It's my new rule. There you go. This is real. It works for you. It works for you. This is real. It's a step in the right direction. Mort, you used to be a late night guy.

You said you were... My whole life has been a struggle with getting to bed before midnight. Yeah. I am such like a kind of a nocturnal dude. And it's not... It's an early man's world. So... Yeah.

You know what I mean? It is. It's an early man's world. That's right. I got a question for you. You're a vegetarian now. You eat fish, though, as well. You're a pescatarian.

Yes. As we found out. We found out the word for it. In the vote of me and why I was like, oh, pescatarian. But here's a question for you. I think you're going to like this question. Okay, great. And you're not a late night guy.

Yeah. But just before you answer the question, Mort, give me a second to weigh in on the question. Whether you like it or not. Sure. Okay. As a vegetarian slash pescatarian, late night eats a big part of the comedy we're in. Staying out late, getting late night stuff. But as a vegetarian, a little trickier.

What do you do in that snare? Why is it a good question? Mitch, I love that question. It's a great question. Yes. You know what's beautiful about that question, Mike? If I may, Spoon Man. It really opens up the world that I truly inhabit, which is late night munch zone.

What are you going to do? I'll give you this hot tip, which is going to sound insane and gross, but has really helped my life. I love it. I'll go to McDonald's. I'll get the Big Mac. No meat. Wow. And I will tell you this.

It doesn't taste that much different from a, it tastes like a delicious, weird fast food grilled cheese. Large fry. I'll even get a cheeseburger. No meat. Feeling real good. The other thing I do is I'm obsessed with popcorn right now. Popcorn. Yeah.

A lot of late night corn. All right. This is a touchy subject. Well, I'm a little bit of a popcorn skeptic. He's a popcorn skeptic, but he went to the theater recently and got a popcorn. I usually get nachos and then I get a popcorn recently and I was like, this ain't bad. Nachos are great. I hear that.

Nachos, that's a high, more high intensity snack. It is, and it's more caloric. Yep. You know what? You're wrong. I'm wrong? Popcorn, if you add butter to popcorn, it is the highest caloric snack you can have. It's like over a thousand calories easy.

It offsets the cheese and the nacho cheese. It offsets the cheese big time. Wow. I mean. But I think melted cheese is more intense for lack of a better scripture than melted butter, I would say. For sure. Yes.

That melted butter, though, that's the thing is we've been trying to be healthier, the two of us. I don't know why I'm speaking for both of us and everything I say, but it's the truth. It's true. And we're trying to be healthier. And I am a popcorn fan. And when I go to the theater now, like a regular sized popcorn, here's the crazy thing. They don't, at AMC, they don't sell you anything smaller than, if you want a kid's

popcorn, you have to get a kid's meal. Yeah. I don't want a kid's meal. No. Right. So if you get a, and so sometimes I'll just eat half of it. A lot of times I eat all of it. But that regular sized popcorn at AMC is 600 calories.

The fucking big boy. Dude, I don't know why they're so invested in giving everyone heart disease. Like why is it all you can only have this 40 ounce soda? You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, I don't know. I understand why there's not a smaller option at AMC. At all.

There's not a smaller option. It's the portion approach. It's the cheesecake factory philosophy, which is like, if you increase, you can increase portion size by 50% and only increase cost to the restaurant by 10%. But the customer is willing to pay 1.5 times as much. So it's like pure profit. And the same thing is applied to something like soda or popcorn. They're both just corn delivery systems.

Yeah, but the customer... And then it's the cheapest ingredient they have. The customer is paying in diabetes. 100%. Yeah, they're paying down the line. It's not. It's bad. It's bad.

And also, I guess it's that sort of thing of like, we set the price point. Well, this is what you're basically saying. It's like, this is like $7 and that you have to pay $7 for this thing. Look at my Yeti mug. Like if they charge you $7 for this much popcorn, people are like, what the fuck? But they charge you $7 for a medium-sized version. People are like, all right, I can buy that. Yeah, that makes sense.

It feels like a value proposition to them. But yeah, it's insidious because we're consuming one more calories than we need to. And Mitch, as you and I have been made aware, as we are trying to eat healthier, a big thing that determines how much you eat is the portion size available to you. Yeah. The Encar Plut conundrum. This is the Encar Plut conundrum, which it is, I think, in the diet world. I think they do...

Plut is a huge influence. God. Is this an author? I don't know Plut. I'm not familiar with Plut. Wow. You don't know Encar Plut? Wow.

You don't know Encar Plut? Did I just go by Oon? He is. I'm sure he actually probably does go by Oon. Yeah. Casey, I thought there was a light that reflected. I thought Casey was giving us the light. We're 29 minutes in.

This episode is so bad, just when it suddenly turns out the light's on the thing. Casey, you should start... When we're like an hour 40 and you should start giving us the light, I think it is. I think that would be helpful. Let's just say he's a pretty big player on Jakku. Yeah. Okay. Also, I don't know what that is.

I feel like... He's a character from... I envy you. He's a Star Wars character. Oh, okay. Got it. I'm really cool. I should have mentioned that before.

Yeah, I see. Did you see the new Star Wars? I saw Last Jedi, which I loved. I like Last Jedi. Okay, this is gonna be the whole thing. Uh-oh. He's definitely singing Mort's praises. Yeah, okay.

But again, this is coming from a person who's now... I didn't see Star Wars as a kid. So it doesn't have that... We didn't have a VCR growing up. I'm very poor, which makes me noble. So what were your pop culture touchstones as a kid? I did get to go see E.T. in the theater. And Ghostbusters.

Oh, there you go. Ghostbusters, too. It was like a huge... That's huge. Absolute revelation, yeah. Ghost... I remember... I mean, I remember seeing Ghostbusters as a kid,

but I specifically remember being in the theater for Ghostbusters, too. I'm pretty sure I... Maybe I didn't see Ghostbusters 1 in theaters. Was that 1984? I think 1984. I think we might have been a touch too young. Yeah, I was probably too young. I was maybe a touch too young at that point.

So you saw it first, like, on the TV at some point. Yeah, I saw it. I mean, it was like one of my favorite movies. I do remember seeing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in theaters. Big. Definitely remember that. I remember doing Nuts over it. Those were the two big ones.

I'm sure... Actually, this is probably something we can overlay, too. I had He-Man toys, but I was kind of like the end of the He-Man cycle into Ghostbusters Ninja Turtles toys. Those were the big ones. Sure. I mean, like, I was... First, I had, like, Dinosaur Toys as a boy,

because I liked... Like, just actual no-name Dinosaur Toys. Yeah, sure. Which is your favorite dinosaur? As a boy? Yeah. It was the Brontosaurus. Oh, interesting.

What? The Brontosaurus, I guess? Casey, dinosaur favorite? Uh, I like the guy that goes like this. Dolophosaurus. With the neck. Dolophosaurus. Oh, the Jurassic Park.

Is it Dolophosaurus or Dolophosaurus? Yeah, in Jurassic Park. Oh, no, you're the Dino guy. He kills fucking Nedry. Yeah, yeah. I think it's the Dolophosaurus. Yeah, that's a sick Dino. And also, back to the future I saw at a friend's house,

which I think really influenced the skateboard thing. Oh, sure. It was like... Marty McFly. Yeah. Yes. I feel like maybe I saw it back to the future two in theaters. I saw three in theaters.

Uh-huh. Oh, wait. Did I see Milo and Otis? I maybe saw like an animal movie and then my sister saw it back to the future three in theaters. I forget. Anyways. Do you remember there was a period where, because back to future two they have the hoverboard

sequence, which I thought was like the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. It was fascinated by it. And also people talked about how I remember in elementary school, like for a science fair project, which is like a dumb kid science fair project, I made like a hoverboard and it was just like, it was like a tube with a magnet and then another magnet and like a cut out picture of a guy on the magnet. Like that's like... Okay.

That's how I figured out how hoverboards work. Like that's how it could work is magnetism or whatever it was when I figured out. That's cool though. I think that's brilliant. What do you... I don't think that's stupid at all. Oh, why? I think that's creative and insightful for a young man.

Thank you. I mean, I... It was also... I like turned that project into middle school and in high school. He tried to show it to me when I got here. Yeah. Yeah. I bring it with me everywhere I go.

Kind of sad. But I... That was like, people said like, there's going to be hoverboards in like 10 years. That's what it's going to bring up. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what my uncle... Like you say...

Like he's been on a hoverboard. It's sort of real. The bummer to me is that so much of the back to the future to technology hasn't come through. Like the dehydrated Pizza Hut Pizza. We never saw that. That's fun. That would have been great. And close, but it's crazy that it still doesn't happen is like video calls.

I'm so shocked that Apple just hasn't done that like made an Apple TV where you're just like, it's a video call and then you're someone is on the video. I mean like... It does happen now, but I'm saying like, it's just weird to me that that hasn't been implemented like in the home or like someone is calling in and just comes up on your TV. Yeah. People are just sitting on their phone. Yeah.

Yeah. What was the futurist stuff? I guess Cubs win the World Series. That one did happen. Which did come through. That would happen. Then a later JAWS that was in 3D. There was a 3D JAWS, but I think it came out before the movie.

A lot of people have made the comparison of Biff to Trump and his kind of his rise to power. The alt future is very much the alt present is like where Biff is in charge of everything, felt Trump-ish. Yeah. And Crispin Glover was really opposed to that ending. Did you guys know that he talks about that now where he's like... Oh. He felt it was only celebrating like capitalism as like success is the only thing that makes

people of value. Wow. Yeah. I kind of love that. Got in a fight. Yeah. It's kind of interesting, right? Because who directed it?

Was it Zemeckis? Zemeckis. Yeah. He didn't go back. Yeah. Is it the third one that he's not in? Yeah. Or is it the second one that he's not in?

I think he's only in the first one. I think it's different dad, different girlfriend. Wow. I think that's maybe why. I don't want to be talking on a school note. That's wild. I think they had a... That's wild.

In a row. He kind of makes a good point. Also like the technology to go back in time and like get like see your mom like your age and getting horny about it that hasn't come around yet. Yeah. Yeah. But they'll definitely figure it out. Yeah.

You're optimistic they'll figure that out. That's the first thing everyone does when time travels. I'm going to get a horny for my teen mom. All right. Look, we got a lot to discuss that's not back to the future part two. We're going to take a break. We'll be back with more Dough Boys. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.

You know, Mitch, I learned something new about myself recently. I learned I can stick to a bedtime routine. Wow. I go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every day and stick to that. Wow. Because getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process especially because we're always growing and changing especially in recent years. That's right, likes.

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I think that it's helpful to say what's on your mind and you feel like you've gotten it off your chest and you can go and live your day if that makes sense. And it's helpful for learning positive coping skills, empowers you to be the best version of yourself, and it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists any time for no additional charge.

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We are here with Mort Burke, discussing this week's chain, Honey Bee Burger, which was founded in 2019 by Adam Weiss, Mitch, who was a Wall Street guy turned vegan guy. Kind of the Sam Simon arc of like he had like a one thing he did and then became an animal activist. It's kind of like, seems like what Adam Weiss' whole game is. It is a vegan burger and fries concept. They're all about that on the stock market, that bowl, right? Isn't that the...

Bears and bowls. The bears and bowls. And he was like... And he was like... Yeah. And like, well now let them save the bears and bowls. Oh yeah, we're plants. Yes, plants.

Yeah. It's plants and trees. Yeah, leafs and lettuce. There you go. There is one location in LA they had announced it. Yeah, leafs and lettuce. You pronounce like there's four Fs in that. Can you ever say leafs?

I mean, I know it's leaves. Yeah. Anguistics is descriptive. Can you say leaves? You can say leaves. Yeah. Toronto Maple Leafs. Oh.

There you go. That's what. All right, good point. But this is the whole thing. There's not a right way to say something. It's like a Reese's. There's not a right or wrong way to say something. There's just descriptions of how people say things.

I love that. It's like a Reese's. Yeah. It's exactly like a Reese's. A case in point, Mitch. What is a maple leaf? Like a maple tree? Yeah.

It's like a maple tree's leaf. Yeah. You know maple syrup? That comes from trees and those trees have leaves. You know what a tree is, right? There is a... Make like a tree and get out of here. Back to the future.

That's the future. B.T.F. Biff. Biff. One location. Biff is great. What a funny character. He's a very funny character.

Yeah, he is. So here's the thing about Honey Bee. We were like, does this qualify for our premise and because it has one location, they were supposed to open a second one in Venice. They did it. They haven't opened it yet. It was announced last year and they have a second location that's planned for New York. And Mitch, you and I were saying this, not with any sort of pleasure, but we fear that

far that as opposed to three locations, there may be zero locations soon because this place kind of feels like it's on a downward trajectory. Which I think is sad news for our guest who I think enjoys this place quite a bit. Yeah. Are you a fan of this place more? I picked it because I do like it. I generally prefer it to Montes, which is our other like fast food vegetarian, which I also like.

I like Montes a lot. Yeah. They got some chicken nuggets over there that are crushing it right now, but I knew you guys had already done Montes as well. So yeah, I threw this out there. Yeah, I generally like it pretty good, but we'll talk more about that when we get into the... Well, I never had it before.

I actually didn't even know about it, like you were saying, there were multiple locations around the city and two of clothes. So the only one available to me, which we found out, we both went to the same spot. We went to the same one on La Brea, and in a happening sort of section, the kind of the fair... Jason, the Fairfax district in LA, Casey had also never heard of Honey Bee. My wife Natalie had been to Honey Bee before, and I can't remember if I've had it before. I knew about it, but I didn't have a memory of eating it.

I think... Was there one over there by the Los Feliz 3 in like a little stand spot? I feel like that's where it first started, but maybe I'm wrong. That's Mitch's neighborhood. You'd know more better than me. Maybe I'm crazy. It was like a pizza place anyway. No, it's totally reasonable.

Next to the Los Feliz 3? I think maybe it was there for a few years ago. Yeah, totally possible. I could see that. Right? I like that stretch. I love the Los Feliz 3, but also, I guess, pandemic stuff, but I didn't peruse that stretch as much.

I love it there. You got the Dresden-wise. Yeah. What's going on? It had my favorite Greek place was right on that corner, which is now Burrito Place. I know the corner by Los Feliz, across from Fred 62s, used to be a Greek place. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Now it's a Burrito place.

Would you get Euros over there? All the time. They had a great Euro pizza-wise. One of my favorite. Wow. Just a great pizza. I think it was the El Greco. I think it was the name of it.

Yes, I know what you're talking about. It was fucking fantastic. Gone. Another place gone. Here's a fusion pitch for you, a fusion food pitch. Eurido. I fucking like it. I do.

It's not that far from a regular Euro. Not that far from a regular Euro. Euro's almost Eurido already. Yeah. Just close that top. Yeah. I like it. Yeah.

I like it. Not bad, Wikes. Eurido. Not bad. Not bad. Look, you got feta in there. Let's talk about it. Yeah, let's discuss this.

You got hummus? Yeah, sure. Tahini. Yeah. But you know what, maybe the tahini is almost like the salsa. Maybe you throw in some of that, you know, that long grain rice. Yes. Get some like jasmine rice in there.

Yeah. Throw some of that in there and then maybe like, I don't know, I could see some chickpeas or something. Yes. You know, to kind of like working as a bean component. You're losing me a little bit by itself. Well, I'm just trying to think of those in terms of the one-to-one burrito component. Chickpeas a little dry for you?

Yeah, that could be too dry. Chickpeas are a little dry. That could be an issue. Mm-hmm. I had a falafel burrito the other day and it was goddamn tremendous. Wow. That sounds good. That sounds really good.

Yep, it was great. The avocado was doing a lot of work. It was really good. So wait, so this was a falafel burrito? Yes. So it seems like this idea has already been done. I'm sure this idea has been done. Yeah.

Yurido though, I mean, I think that if the naming of the yurido, which also probably already is done is my guess. It's a better portmanteau than sushi yurido. I agree. Have you had this? No, I can't. They look gross. We were saying that they look gross.

Yeah. I love sushi too. I like, I've now like raw fish, but like the idea of like biting into a big burrito of raw fish is weird. I want to be able to like discriminate, be decisive about what the amount of sushi that I want. I don't want a random amount. 100%.

Yes. Agreed. Yeah. Because that's the thing, you're eating like a carne asada burrito and you're randomly like, oh, I got a big chunk of carne asada in that bite. You don't want the equivalent with like, you know, halibut, that'd be very, very strange. That's fucking nasty. I was going to say this.

The thing I like about Honey Bee Burger, it sounds like something Ace Ventura would say. It does. I mean, does it not? Yeah. Honey Bee Burger. Yeah. When you give me that cadence, of course, undeniable. What is the thing he actually says that just making me think of that?

Let me ask you a question. No. I think you're thinking Bumblebee Tuna. Bumblebee Tuna. Bumblebee Tuna. Honey Bee Burger. It sounds similar. With the crazy mouth.

Bumblebee Tuna. Honey Bee Burger. Bad Ace Ventura is so funny. It is good. It's problematic. It is not aged well. Yes. Yeah.

But it's funny. It's not aged well at all. Maybe two is aged better. Maybe. Yeah. Worse, actually. Yeah. Possibly worse.

Both a little problematic. I was like, you're remembering the plot of two. I was like, oh, all right. Bumblebee Tuna. Oh, that's a lot. No, no, no. In fact, I may be not comfortable with me saying Ace Ventura is funny on camera. I'll just retcon that.

But. But. Honey Bee Burger is funny. Honey Bee Burger is funny. And he as a character is funny. Very funny character. So the, I'll say this, the app, which I ordered pickup on the app, and then I grabbed it from the store and then took it to another location to eat.

The app is kind of crap. It's a little clunky. I don't know if you use it at all, Mitch. I did not use it at all. It's a little wonky. Just at the menu on there. And it was even wonky looking at the menu. But look, and also I just, for the Yurido, Tzatziki, Tahini, like one of those has to

be, or what's the, what's Zog? What is it? What is it? Zhuge? Zhuge? We found out that one of them is like a right wing term, right? Yeah. The way we're pronouncing it is wrong.

But Tajman texted us on how to say it. And I forget. Yeah. But anyways, that could be good to pour on there too. Yes. I'm just trying to think of the sauces. Anyways. Lots of options.

I found it on the website and it looked like it was, I mean, part of the reason why I was afraid this place might be going down is the website is a little janky. There's a, there seems, it has those warning signals of places that are in trouble. So. Yeah. When I went to pick it up, and I went to pick it up around the lunch rush. Yeah. And there was one very, well, it would have been too early for you.

I was there before noon. There's no way you would have fucking shown up. I would have, I could have gone there before noon. I mean, I don't know. And I, anyway, I had my meal with a friend of the show, Matt Appadaca. So. You went with Appadaca? Yeah, with Appadaca.

So. What the fuck? I'll be used to fucking get played fucking credit card, you piece of shit. I'll use the Doe Boys card. It's Doe Boys. Fucking bullshit. This is classic guys. This is like I'm in the TV show, you know?

I would pick up on the app. And I went during the lunch rush, or, you know, just before, like, when would have been the lunch rush, one employee there. And she was a lovely person, but she was, like, clearly very harried trying to fulfill all these orders by herself. The, the, the dining area had, like, not been, I'm not imputing the worker. It's just, like, it was clearly understaffed and the dining area had not been cleaned. There were a bunch of unbust tables that were just sitting there, like, including stuff

that seemed to be left over from breakfast. And I just felt so bad for this person, but very, very hospitable, good service, very friendly. Probably the same lady that I saw there. Yeah. Me too, I think. Yeah. I went for lunch the same day as you.

Yeah. A little later, though. What time did you get lunch? I arrived at a normal lunchtime, 4 p.m. or locked in. I used the get played card. Do you want to grab lunch after two, two hours for now? Yeah, we can't. We're on the same way.

I eat a late lunch. I eat a late lunch. This was a scenario where I went later than I wanted to, but the directions. Here's another thing. The directions brought me behind the building. So confusing. A little confusing. But you know what, worked out great because there was street, you couldn't park on the

street at 4 p.m. Oh, there you go. And they let you park behind the building. So I did park behind the building, one of the two spots, but I was like, this is very confusing, walked around to the front, saw that same lovely lady there at the counter who was, by the time I had gone there, the lunch rush was, it had dwindled down at 4 p.m. But she was the only one working the counter. There were a few people working the grills and stuff like that.

There were like two or three other guys, including another guy who brought my meal out to me. But very pleasant, easy to order. It was easy to order when I got in there. The website's not good, but she was very helpful. She told me what she liked. I was like asking her a few questions and I, you know, I want a little wild, I guess you could say. I also, I'm trying to be better about ordering food, but I'm afraid this place, I'm worried

about this place more. Okay, sure. I'm a little concerned too. I will also say part of my issue is, I think this menu is a little too sprawling. Like they have so many options and I kind of wonder if they, because like they also have burritos there, or sorry, burritos, that's their version, which is cute, but I just kind of feel like they have too much stuff. Maybe we got the year-redos from that, be-redos.

I feel like maybe you just stole that from the... No, it's a different thing. It's my own thing. It's your ridos. It's new. I invented it. But I am a little worried that they have like, you know, they have like four different versions of the chicken sandwich.

They have a vegan fish sandwich, which we're just kind of curious to try. I didn't try, but you know, they just kind of maybe you're trying or maybe you have too many things on there. I don't know. Maybe that strategy is okay in the app economy, but more, this is a place you're a fan of. What's your regular order? What do you normally get? I will normally do the fried chicken sandwich.

I switched it up a little bit this time. Now I want to say, I want to recount my arrival at this place too, because I was like, first of all, for some hungrier than I've ever been when I went to go get this food. Me too. I was ravenous. Wow. When I pulled up, I had a breakfast, I think I had two hard boiled eggs in the morning. Oh no, that's a lie.

I had spitting the B theme. I had some Greek yogurt wigs with some raw unfiltered honey, which I showed you a picture of in our yogurt. That's right. Send a group chat. We have a yogurt text chain, and it looked like, because it kind of looked like a brown, like it looked like mud almost to honey, but very good. Then that's the only thing I had that in a cup of decaf coffee, and I was very, I was

like, by the time it was 4pm, I was like, I'm fucking ravenous. I went in there being like, I mean, I want to taste a lot of different things, and I'm also legit very hungry, so I went a little crazy. I think I had had a smoothie, and then some sort of like classic LA, cotton traffic thing. When I got there, it was raining very hard, and I couldn't find parking, and I couldn't find the place, and I'm super hungry, so I called the lady so helpful, so sweet. Super helpful. Yes, super helpful.

She was like my fucking fast food sherpa, whatever, and it's like chicken sandwich journey, because like my glasses were all fogged up, I was like starving. It felt very kind of Spielberg dramatic when I got in there, so I was like really, really excited to eat this food, but I have a question for you. So is it the large meant two questions? The large menu, is that the same thing like when you go to a diner, and it's like nine pages, and you're like, there's no way they do all this well? Yeah, I think that's a, look, I know it's a thing that Gordon Ramsay zeroes in on when

he goes into a restaurant and yells at everybody. A place like the Cheesecake Factory can pull it off, because that's their whole philosophy. They're just like more is more, we do everything, but a lot of times, and some like old school delis, they can pull it off, but for the most part, it's like they're just doing too many things. It should simplify what they do well. Totally. Yeah, both, it makes it more taxing on the kitchen staff, and you know, and the supply

side of things, because they got to stock more stuff, but also the customers are suddenly driven away, because they don't, people don't like making decisions, and you get analysis paralysis, they're just like, I don't know what to fucking get here, I got too many options. So yeah, I do feel like they could maybe simplify things a little bit, but so you got the chicken sandwich, and this was, yeah, please. Second question. The urito, I think, thick pita bread style, because I don't know if they're turkey, I love the thickness of the pita wrap for a euro, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, the thing is that you have to get a lot of pita to like cover up the ends, right? Because that's the whole thing, it's kind of loose, it sort of falls out. But you know what, fucking figure that out. Yeah, that's a big part of it. I want to figure it out. These people just fucking figure it out. Fucking figure it out. Like, it's maybe sloppy.

Fucking the Greeks. Fucking figure it out. I think the rice is really the binding agent for the thing, I really think that. The rice is a big part of that. Rice is huge. I would want the, I know what you guys are saying about the long rice, but I do, I would want it to be soft still, if it's. Yeah, it should be soft.

Okay, all right. Oh, that's all. That's all. What about, what about we throw in like even more fusion some basmati maybe? Hey, I'll never object to any basmati rice. I'm not going to, I'm not going to object to it, but my fear is that it's not going to be soft enough. The basmati.

Have you had a lot of hard rice, Mike? Look, I've had some hard rice in my life. There's been a few, I've had a few moments where I've had fucking hard rice. There's where it's like you're biting into a tooth or something. It's like, there's nothing worse than some hard ass rice. Are you eating uncooked rice, Mitchell? So what's going on? I cook rice.

Are you eating handfuls of uncooked rice? I'm not. I didn't think that's what it's supposed to be like. I'm not eating handfuls of rice. So, so I get, okay, so fucking four. Shit. I said, I really gave myself the perfect name to be bullied. Wait, so how are you going?

You go in there. Yeah. So I go in there. So I had ordered. Okay. I got so much. I want to say about this. I had ordered the Nashville hot sandwich was the last time I had it was different.

It was bigger than this time. I also got the pickles on the side because I don't know about you guys. But I find pickles, sometimes the taste is a little bit distracting from a sandwich. It can be. I love pickles, but I know what you're saying. I do too. But if they're like too vinegary, I think I'm not tasting the rest of the sandwich. So I got them on the side, but here's the thing.

And I moved really sad when I opened the little box because they didn't put any other condiments on the chicken sandwich. I was like, I wish I could have told you guys that I was like doing this for a review show or something. I actually did do that embarrassing thing because I had such a big order. I was like, this is for a review show. I did it once. I did the dough.

You said it. I think that's that's kind of that's kind of almost more like honest though to let them know, you know, I did the embarrassing dough boys thing. And I ordered a lot, but it made me feel better to say it. So and she was like, okay. Yeah. She's like, sure. Whatever.

I had to ask you guys both as I was looking through my photos. I found it. And I wondered if you guys saw this sign to outside of Honey Bee Burger. Did you see that sign or no? Oh my. Is it beer o'clock already? I didn't wait. I can't let me just read it for myself.

Yeah. Oh my. Is it beer o'clock now? What is your what's your issue with this? There was no issue. I just wondered if you saw the sign. I thought it was a fun sign outside Honey Bee Burger. I don't remember seeing the sign, but it's possible there's a chalk sign I missed.

Yeah. Yeah. I was like coat hunched over in the rain trying to get inside. So I wasn't paying. Yeah. Not a great weather day. For me at 4pm, it was kind of a cleared up at that point. And they put out this all my is it beer o'clock.

Yeah. That's fun. It's fun. I thought it was for a Honey Bee Burger. And I was like, okay, maybe this place is popping off more than I thought. And then you go in there and has like I said, it's it for me, it was clean, but it also has like the weird vibe of like almost an Apple store or something. A very weird vibe when you walk in the door.

Yes. It doesn't it doesn't that front section almost feels like a dispensary or something. It doesn't feel like a restaurant. It's not super inviting. I will also say that they had like locked off two of the entrances. Yes. It was confusing getting one. There was one entrance, which you would think that like for a quick service place, you want

more places to go in and out, but probably because they're under staff, they can't manage all that. But yeah. Say what you're going to say. I was just going to say my thought is I bet most of their businesses take out. I bet almost like like the bulk of it is apps. They're on DoorDash and it seemed like they get a lot of pickups. None of this matters.

I mean, it matters, of course, when you're great in the restaurant, but the thing that matters most is taste. Great point, Mitch. And I thought it tasted pretty good. I thought it tasted pretty fucking good, too. Honestly. And mine didn't even have condiments on it. Yeah.

And I was like, this is still a super edible Sammy. No. It's a really good execution of the vegan burger shake shack approximation, which is like a whole sector now. And I'm glad it exists. And I hope it continues to exist. I got the queen bee, which is double patty, double cheese. We're taste buds.

We're taste buds. Taste buds. Wow. Burp fork. I said this when we were talking. It's fork burp, please. Fork burp. Said this.

He called out taste buds because I was wondering if we got the same thing. We are officially taste buds. We're taste buds. I got the queen bee. Yeah. Also the name of my sister's turner boat when she was a youngin. That's cute. The queen bee.

The queen bee. What's a turner boat? Yeah. What is a turner boat? You told me before. We've discussed this on the podcast. The turner boat is like a little, and people were like, there's no such thing as a turner boat.

Yeah. It's like a brand. But it wasn't the brand. There is like also like a little turner boat. Okay. My dad built this turner boat for my sister. He built it by hand. He made my sister a fucking boat.

Wow. He built the boat. We lived on the water. It wasn't fancy sailing. Don't try to say I'm some fucking fancy sailor. Uh-huh. It's not fancy sailing. Uh-huh.

And where'd you get your fancy sailor suit? You weren't in a little sailor suit. Yeah. I was in a fancy sailor suit. But that was my choice. I was singing like, good ship lollypop. And my parents were like, cut the shit. Fucking weird.

You're a blue-collar family. Get that lollypop. Yeah. Fucking huge lolly. Wait a minute. We looked away. Now it's a regular-sized lolly. Working on a lolly.

It's got blue ribbons on it somehow. My sister, the Courtney, Bisa, that's what my mom called her, the queen bee. The color of the queen bee growing up. Still to this day. I was a, you know, mixture of the trickster, the weasel, wigs. You were the weasel? My dad called me the weasel. The weasel?

You did? My dad called me the weasel. Wow. Are you sure it's the weasel? Wow. My dad would call me the weasel. That's what he'd call me all the time. I love that.

I mean, they knew I've always been the same. I've been a fucking piece of shit. What the fuck do you want from me? Michael, you are a wonderful gentleman. They said it in good fun. Yeah. My friend said this to me the other day. Hey, be nice to my friend, Mike.

You might like him if you get to know him. Wow. That's a good point. Powerful stuff, huh? You know what? My dad called me the weasel. It was a term of endearment. It was like the movie.

Never seen it, but I suppose it's similar stuff. But he called me the weasel lovingly. But the queen bee, my sister, that was my sister's turnabout. Yes. Had a big bee on the sale, which was also made. But I went with the queen bee as well, Wagson. You know what? I have a lot of love for that queen bee boat in my heart.

And I have a lot of love for that sandwich. That sandwich was good. So I'll say this, because I progressed to the queen bee and just in my tasting experience, because Matt and I also got some sweet potato froths and some classic froths and a side of mac and cheese. So I was having these sides first. And the mac and cheese, like sometimes you have these things

and they're just like, oh, like, oh, then I didn't. Maybe this could maybe trick me if I was blind tasting. I might make things like mac and cheese the complete opposite of this. It was so complete, so obviously like vegan, so obviously like fake cheese. I thought it had, I thought it just tasted like nothing. It was just a gooey taste. It's funny you say that because I know what you're saying. I also got the mac and cheese taste buds.

But I knew what you're saying where I was like, this didn't trick me, but I also didn't dislike it. I think it was more that sort of thing of like, oh, this is warm and gooey, but it's not really doing too, too much. Yeah, also possible I got a bad batch. But I will say that that was the low light for me. Like Star Wars, I got a bad batch. Taste buds, I'll say that I, the big fan of the show Taste Buds,

I think in general they haven't figured out vegan cheese yet. And I think you're right that it's like, it's not terrible, but they just haven't. Like, like vegan ice cream can be pretty goddamn good actually. Oh yeah, for sure. You know what I'm saying? But cheese, they're not there yet. We'll get to that. We'll get to that.

I think that they've gotten pretty close with like on like a vegan American cheese sometimes. I will agree. And some food dudes, some people who work in kitchens, who have posted on our Discord server, TheDoseScore, have talked about how approximating an American cheese for some reason. I don't know if it's just, it's particularly textural quality. It's a little bit easier than other cheeses. Yeah.

But yeah, I feel like that, their fake American, whatever they're sourcing, is pretty damn good and melts up pretty nice. So you'll eat regular cheese too, right? Yeah. Okay. I'll do dairy and stuff. And that makes sense because American cheese feels a little bit more like chemically or something. Yeah, a little more processed, a little more sciency.

But are you, do you get the rumblies from dairy or are you just a straight up dairy dude? What do you mean, I guess? Like, can you constitutionally endure dairy? I'm pretty sure everyone over 10 years old is actually allergic to dairy. We just don't know it. You know what I mean? So if I don't eat dairy, I will eat, I'll eat, I eat a lot of regular cheese. Bork, he was just, he was asking basically, does dairy make you shit?

Was basically what he was trying to ask. Yeah, it gives me terrible poops. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's the thing, because when I have, when I have a non-dairy version of something, I have non-dairy ice cream so much more often than I'll have regular ice cream these days. So I love ice cream just because I'm like, it's just not worth the rumblies. I do lactose-free a lot.

Yeah. It's a good move. If you would ask Nick 10 years ago if that was true, that's surprising, right? That you're able to just eat dairy-free ice cream. Yeah, he'd be like, he'd meet me from the future and he'd be like, whoa, that's wild. Hey, how's your writing career going? Good? Also, isn't our mom hot?

Check out my mom right now. I don't like it, but you'll love it. Listen to this, you gotta check out your mom. Just holding a picture of your mom. So we're even over a crowd that's not there. But yeah, so when they do, when something does a vegan version of it or non-dairy version of it and it works, like with the Queen Bee, I was pretty on board with it. I do think there is a version if you met, like, if you were like, I just met like a

version of my younger self. I do think it would be a thing where you would like immediately turn into a corpse, like the third Indian, like your younger self would see you and then like kill yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically. You'd off himself immediately. Right a wooden moment. You come out with two hats on and he's like, I can't.

Your main creative partner is fucking Mitch. I got a fucking dumb guy from the birthday boys. Can you dress like a little sailor till he was 15? An LA. That was like when I first came out here, I was trying to like bring some of Quincy with me. I was dressing up like a little sailor boy. But wigs, I, young me, when I first came to LA, I remember when I was doing the Ithaca

college program and actually a couple of friends from who went to Elon, Lauren and Katie, who were just out here. We had lunch together. Went to Elon? They went to Elon and they were in the Ithaca program. There was like, this is a different school. Yeah, this is the, this is the, this is my school. They majored in anti-woke studies.

Yeah. How to tweet poop emojis? Yeah. Which at the Doughboys College, we're also going to teach anti-woke studies. But I went, I remember my first year out here going to like a vegetarian burger place. Yeah. And like one of the, and it was right, you know what it was? It was like, go on your way to uni, like universal.

It was like Lancashire and then where Lancashire hits, whatever that street is there that goes up to universal. I know exactly what you're talking about. There's an In-N-Out right there. There's, yeah, there's an In-N-Out on that street. Is that the Glane Maxwell In-N-Out? I think it might be. I think it might be the Glane Maxwell.

There's, you know, there's a Carl's Jr. further up the street. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I think I'm pretty sure that one is. Yeah. What the fuck is the name of that street? It doesn't matter. Barham? So Bar, no.

It might be Barham. Barham is the next one over. Barham is actually what? Oh, maybe, is it Lancashire? Whatever. Who cares? Is this the worst part of the podcast anyone's ever, if we use 40 minutes on whether or not it's Barham.

Barham Boulevard? Hyper specific LA geography. This is love this. This is love this. What's the name of, I mean, the birthday boys lived off that street for like forever. Okay. Yeah. But that, that, so there was a vegetarian place there.

It was like, for me, that was like the first, like I have like Satan, which was scary chicken nuggets and a burger and being like eating, like eating it like it was like completely far into me or something. They're just being like, whoa, this is like weird, like not ever having fake meat before. This is, and I was 22 years old, which shows you how different things are from even our generation. Yeah. For sure.

This was in LA and, but, but also there, some of those old school vegan places have hung around. There'll be like a place just called like the vegan spot and it's like they've got like old school, like, you know, like Satan and tempeh based dishes, but they don't, and then like a black bean burger, you know, it's like they're not using the modern product. It's very different from like what a Montes or a honeybee is attempting and I think a lot less approachable unless you're someone who eats exclusively plant based. That's the crazy, as like this place was one of the early places like trying like not just

a black bean burger, like whatever the patty was made of and probably a morning star bokeh burger or whatever. Yeah. Which I kind of really do like those black bean burger stuff. Yeah, sure. Some, not, not, I know exactly where, that's a, I've never heard them describe that old like vegan spot style place. It's so true.

But sometimes I miss, like I didn't get the cheeseburger at this place because to me, impossible burgers beyond meat, they never quite do it. Like I tend to prefer a fake chicken to a fake meat and interesting what I like about this one that I got at Honeybee was that they weren't pretending like it was like a delicious cut of chicken. It was like a small patty with a lot of what I would call hot, crispy brown around it. Right. And I love that hot, crispy brown.

Love it. It's good stuff. You say hot, crispy brown, Wags and I are in. I don't even know what it is. I want fucking hot, crispy brown. It's like a Rolling Stones song. Yeah. It's like that Ben Affleck scene in the town or it's just like, just brings a real hot,

crispy brown. It's like, what time are you going? When are we leaving? Completely mangle it. Were there the remer, the remer? Jeremy Remer. Jeremy Remer and then whoever the chubby Boston guy was. I'll take that role.

All of those, all of those vegan food places in this place I went, which was cutting edge in 2005. Yeah. Now comparatively would look like shit. And I like it probably if I went there, I'm like, this sucks. But back then it was like the cutting edge place. But I do think that and I've heard a lot of people say this, but beyond an impossible a lot of vegetarians and vegans are like, oh, that's so much for like people who don't

eat like people for who do eat meat rather is like, like it feels like a big fans of that are people who actually even do eat meat. Yes. That's why I wanted to ask you more to follow up question, which is how long have you been eating vegetarian? It's a good question. And I'm not sure exactly, but maybe kind of like five or six years. So it's been a little bit.

Sometimes I feel like, yeah, look, exactly what you're saying, Mitch, once people have kind of settled into eating more plant based, then you reach a point where you you're craving like that, that meat approximation as much. You aren't craving the specific. Maybe so. They could be part of it. But I still feel because I have eaten one million hamburgers. Sure.

I ate nothing but cheeseburgers for the first 30 years of my life. And it's very wimpy-esque. Yeah. That's the one impression I don't have is a wimpy impression that I'd whip it out right now. They've been looking. SNL has been looking for wimpy for so long that they haven't been able to get the wimpy on there.

Every time you get to your audition or whatever, like, just so you know, if you can get a spot on wimpy, haters like try to figure it out. I've been working the wimpy at the clubs and stuff. I've been doing it. I saw it. It's bombing. Yeah. It's not.

It's not doing well. Nobody knows who. What? I'll pay you a burger today for whatever the fuck is going on. He's the Popeye character. I like that chicken place. Like, no, there's a cartoon sailor man. But I feel like even when I was eating those, even when I was eating tons of burgers like

wimpy, I didn't, I still didn't love the, I just don't feel like The Impossible has really nailed it for some reason. I feel like they're interesting. To me, they're trying to like chemically fake the like, the umami taste of a burger at a never place. Which Wags and I, I think love. I kind of love it. I kind of think The Impossible works for me.

I have some Beyond Burger patties from Costco in my freezer that I'll like heat up. Like I've just like, I'm like, both of those I think work for me, but I'm also somebody who has not, I had like one year, the longest stretch of in recent memory, one year where I didn't eat any meat. And now I'm like, basically trying not to eat red meat, but occasionally have a little indulgence. I'll have chicken. I'll have fish.

So The Impossible like works great for me. Yeah. Which brings us to a great point about this place. You get the option of Impossible or Beyond, whichever you like. And I think that that's interesting. It also makes me be like, hmm, which side do they like? And then I asked the woman at the counter, I was like, Impossible is the way to go, right?

And she was like, yeah. She's like, I prefer Impossible, but she was like, Beyond is non GMO and gluten free, which I did not realize. And I guess Impossible is GMO. Yeah. I saw a chef. Fuck it. He was one of the chef.

He was one of the TV chefs. And it didn't seem like he'd been bought off. It seemed like it was not like it was, he was just kind of talking about why Beyond is better than Impossible, just like from a food perspective, and it was kind of persuasive. I wish I could remember any details about that at all. But I like them both. I'll just say, I think that just talking about this place as a business, I think that's another decision point you don't need to have for the customer.

I think having both of them, because one of the options of the queen bee, you can get one Impossible, one Beyond patty. I should have done it. But you know what? It seemed fucking gross for some reason. It seems weird. And why make the customer make that decision? That's just another place where they're going to be like, I don't fucking know.

I think it's something else. Right. Yeah. Wags, if I may call you wags, taste buds. Please. You're thinking about this like a restaurateur, which I love, because not only when you describe going in how there was an unappealing aspect of the design, I think that's, I don't know. That's why you're a pro on a pro review show, baby.

You're thinking of something big in the heart. I think he's being an asshole. I think he's tearing down this place. I like this place a lot. I actually had a great meal. The fries we'll talk about. I think the tots are better than the fries, or at least they travel better than the fries. But it's fun to have both.

I ate in restaurant. You didn't eat in restaurant? No. We got to go. Yeah. But it's fun to have both. I did like the sweet potato tots quite a bit. I like the classic tots as well, which were just with potatoes.

Wait, were there sweet potato tots? Sweet potato tots. Yeah. I never even heard of that. Yeah. It's fun. And they had a great texture to them. And I had those with their dipping sauces, good, good house ketchup, decent barbecue

sauce, a little sweet for me, outstanding vegan ranch. Another thing that I think the vegan can do, the vegan version of it that's really good is ranch dressing. I liked it a lot. It had like an earthy taste to it, and it didn't taste 100% like ranch me, but I liked it. Those are great dipping sauce. My three dipping sauces, I went with the ketchup, and I actually kind of, the ketchup

was kind of like a tomato-y, not a Heinz, but a tomato-y ketchup. No, yeah, it's a house ketchup. Yeah, I kind of liked it. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. 100%. And then there was a hot honey. I got the hot honey.

Oh, wow. The hot honey is fucking good. The hot honey is good. And the ranch, I even liked too. I think I liked the ranch-wise. I maybe liked thirdly, but I liked all of them. I got the Queen Bee. I also got a second sandwich.

I tried to get, my plan was to get nuggets, and they did not have any nuggets, which I don't know if you got nuggets, but they were, they were out of nuggets. So I got, so I had the mac and cheese. I got the fratts. We'll get to the fratts. And then I got a second sandwich, which is why I'm saying I got a lot. I didn't eat all, I didn't eat all of this food, but I got the Buffalo chicken sandwich. That is the other sandwich I got, why is there it is?

The Buffalo chicken sandwich. Wow, look at that. And that looks appetizing as hell. And it was good. It was really good. I enjoyed it. It had a nice, it had some nice heat to it. It didn't like blow me away, but it was, I mean, like also even the burger, which I

love, like didn't, I wasn't like, this is the best I've ever, well, I don't know. It was really good. But when I even say it didn't blow me, I, both were really good. They were good. I liked a lot. I thought it was a really satisfying. Both were really good. So maybe, maybe it did, maybe it fucking blew me away.

It might have blown me away. It certainly came closer. I want to hear more about your meal. Yeah. Okay, great. Yes. I'm with you on the fries. To me, there's a texture to them that I love.

And I feel like if I would, because they didn't travel amazing. If I would have gone home and reheated them, I felt like they were, these fries were threatening to be the perfect fry for me, but not quite there. And I can't quite pinpoint why. And I always love tater tots. Great tots. I am like a six year old, just, you know, I mean, so goddamn delicious. And to do it together, I think it's fun because it makes it easy to not have to.

That's one thing that I do like, or they, they don't, they make that decision for you, I guess. Yeah. Which is kind of what you're talking about. You get them both. Get them both. I kind of love that. Yep.

It's, it's like a place that sometimes you'll get a place that'll have like, you know, either 50, 50, you know, fries and curly fries or 50, 50 fries and sweet potato fries. I love that option. Yeah. Give it to me. Yeah. And I, I got, because I want to get something I hadn't gotten before for the show, I got the hash browns.

Wow. A little underwhelming, to be honest, I think it's hard to screw up a hash brown. Those were like perfectly edible, we'll say, what, what are we, what are we dealing with form factor wise? Great question. Thank you, Wags. It's like a rounded rectangle. Got it.

Okay. Two of them, right? In like the paddy, the same, the same kind of paper they wrap the burgers in, right? And like, so the way, and these were crispy and good on the outside, but in the middle, a little like, I wouldn't like to brown all over. I like that crispy brown. Yeah. I would like them brown all over.

These were a little bit more potato-y in the middle. Yeah. I love that burger wrapper paper. I would like to see more of that paper around. Doesn't it make you feel like you're like eating the burger from Pulp Fiction or something? Yeah, it's great. Like there's a classic move to it. No, I love it.

And also, a little bit more eco-friendly for what it's worth, a little less waste involved. For like a lot of my college essays, I turned them in on a burger paper, on a burger paper. Stain and just poking holes through them. Yeah, writing with grease, like with a fine point pen. It's an A-plus. It's incredible material. I liked my fratts. I liked the fries too.

I'm thinking with, I'm with, I actually usually like fries more than tots, personally, but I'm going to say this. I thought that these tots were a homerun. They're great tots. The tots were really, really outstanding tots. And I kept going back to the tots. I thought the fries were pretty good. Here's a little picture of them.

I'll show you the picture. So the fucking people watching on YouTube, there you go. They can see. They can see the fucking. It's just holding up his phone. The frats. There's the frats. Oh yeah.

And I was dipping them in that hot honey. I was dipping them in the ranch. Dipping them in the ketchup. I was having a good time. I was really enjoying the frats. And also, I think you just said this a second ago, but like, where places should do the frats? Give me the frats.

Give us the frats. Give me those frats. Give us frats. I'm going to move from savory. Isn't that hard? Lots and lots of spicy frats. Is it that hard to make frats? No, it feels like a doable thing.

Yeah. Feels like a solvable problem. I want to move from the savory side. I'm fucking pissed off over here. Oh, calm down. Give us fucking frats. No one's through the wall. He's like Colossus move, where I just won't run through a wall.

I'm fucking pissed off about frats. What should happen? Once you get them in this form, you're like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm really, really happy that you guys like this place. Yeah. The food was impressive. A quality food. Moving from the savory side down to the sweet treats.

Sweet city? I got myself into sweet city. I got myself a blossom shake. Is there any place called, has a city not claimed sweet city? Some place should be sweet city. Quincy is now sweet city. Hershey, Pennsylvania. That should be like where Van Halen's from.

That should be. Yeah. Wait, is Hershey known as like sweet city? Don't they say it looks like the sweetest city in the, I don't really call it sweet city, but they say something about being the sweetest place in America. They don't, if they don't say sweet city, Quincy gets sweet city. All right, that's fine with me. All right, good.

That's good. All right, thank you. Canon. Canon, sweet city. Call it. So from sweet city, Massachusetts, the Spoon Man. Mike Mitchell. That's how you get announced that it shows that way, thank you.

The, I got the blossom shake. Hmm. Whoa. There you go. I was hoping you'd do it. Yeah. Now we're podcasting. This is vanilla soft serve and orange extract.

Well, I'm pulling this from little tiny one. I didn't say blossom again. I was just impressed by the ingredients. The quote on the website was, or in the app was, tastes just like an old fashioned creamsicle. I think it did. No, no, no. Apodaca had had this place before and he had a shake that he said he had a chocolate shake which he said was pretty rough.

You're going to try it again on the Dough Boys time. Interesting. This is what he said before, this being a possible let down. I thought it was fucking great. And I thought it did very much evoke an old fashioned creamsicle. I was like, this is like that 50-50 shake which when that's, that is hitting that's a top tier shake. And you know what, Apodaca? I don't know what the fuck goes on in your podcast.

But I got a little mini, I got the small version which is very small of the chocolate shake. And I thought it was fucking fantastic. Damn. This is hitting on a bunch of stuff because weren't we just saying we'd prefer smaller options, right? Yeah. It's a tiny little delicious chocolate shake. A tiny little delicious shake.

And the creamsicle thing, like that's cool because that feels to me singular to this restaurant. I don't think a lot of places are kicking out creamsicle shakes. Yeah, I've seen some old school diners that have done it, but it's not like a common thing. Also, I got to say this, Honey Bee Burger and look at that table. Mitch is showing some pictures of flowers. The flowers on the table, come on, that's fun. Yeah, that's sweet and fun.

Well, did you do anything from the sweet side, Mort? Apodaca, we missed it. Okay, so here's the thing, you guys. This feels like I'm like coming out. I don't really eat sweets anymore. Fascinating. Wow. And only because I ate like so many bags of gummy bears, Twix's, I'm doing the nerds,

I'm doing anything for so long that I was like, I have to stop. Like I couldn't eat a little bit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, right, right, right. So I stopped eating sweets. I still will eat like, I'll put like honey and stuff sometimes and I'll, like I said, I'll eat a Big Mac, which that's mostly sugar, I'm sure, you know, but I don't. And I will tell you that this is super crazy.

My like depression has lessened significantly since I stopped. Wow. And again, it was because I think I was eating so much. Sure. I was just eating my feelings with it. You know what I'm saying? But yeah. So I generally avoid like sweet stuff now, which is why I, which is why I eat stovetop.

Like I make stovetop popcorn like six nights a week now because I no longer eat sweets. I think there's only one response that likes. Whoa. Mort, you strike me as someone, and I don't make too many assumptions. You strike me as someone who's maybe of a naturally lean build. Would you notice any differences when you stopped eating sugar? When you came in, and you pointed this out, you and Joe Saunders, Joe Saunders was here and you're like, we look alike.

He said that. I thought that was for sure a me or not another human. You were like, I forgot my glasses. And then you realized that you had your glasses on. We were dressed the same too. I was like, this is what. Dressed very similarly. Joe also of a very lean build.

Very lean build. I think I'm actually a little bit, I think I'm heavier now than I've ever been. It's all right here. It's all right. I got a little Bart Simpson belly. So I think I actually am a little, this is kind of frustrating. I think I'm a little heavier now that I, I'm also like, I'm in a loving relationship. So I think I eat more consistently.

Yeah. And better now. That can happen. So that's nice because I think before, I mean, I sort of have the problem where I like, in the past, when I'm not doing well, I eat less. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I have the other thing where I get like skinnier and you know, worse.

So I think I'm like healthier now, but I also weigh a little more. Interesting. Yeah. I balloon. I mean, I kind of balloon up no matter what, I guess is what I found. I'm like, here's the time in my life I'm happy. I'm like, I was fucking big. And then I'm like, oh, there I am sad.

I'm like, big again. I don't know. There's no, I think I go up and down. I think it just is kind of with the, with the wind, whether I'm up or down. Like it's probably the same with you. It's so hard to change your like body style. I heard this thing the other day, somebody was talking about this about like, when you're trying to lose weight, how important it is to have like a ton of compassion for yourself

because the kind of diet culture sort of sells you this lie that like, if you do this, this, this, right, you'll lose weight and that's it. But the reality is, is like, you have a relationship with food, which we all do, right? Yeah. That needs to be addressed. And that is something like is going to take five years. Like you're going to be bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, you know? And I was like, I think that's like a nice way to think about it.

My desire for clumped right now. Is that the word? Yeah, for clumped. That's the word. I love this general advocacy for compassion for yourself. You know, because it's, it's hard, dude. Like I, I don't know. Pretty tricky because I think that we both kind of like objectively suck.

Yeah, not you guys. No, no, no. The podcast I was listening to was like, except for those dough boys. They're just lazy. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough boys. Hey you, you craving fresh, delicious, easy meals, try wild grain and get their bake from frozen sourdough breads, fresh pastas and artisanal pastries delivered right to your

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You heard me, free croissants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash dough boys. That's wildgrain.com slash dough boys or you can use promo code DOEBOYS at checkout. Do it. Welcome back to dough boys, we're with Mort Burke. It's time for our final thoughts on Honey Bee Burger. Now, Mort. Fork.

Fork. Fork, I apologize. Fork, here's how this will work. We'll each go around and give our forks. Here's how this will work. Fork, this is how this is how this will work. Here's what I say. Since we've got Fork with us, I think we should rate out of Morts.

Zero to five Morts. Rick, that's a great idea. Still auditioning for that spot. I auditioned for that too. I was like, it has to count a little, though that's my actual name, right? We can at least put me to the top of the fucking list, maybe? I love that idea. I think that's a great idea.

Untouched. So Fork, we will rate this out as zero to five Morts. Your final thoughts, your closing argument, if you will, on Honey Bee Burger and end it by giving your Morts score. Great. As a person who, again, kind of am sort of forced to try and find meatless alternatives. Yeah, I'm real into these kinds of places. I feel psyched to live in a place where I have options like this.

So once I found it, and again, I was not expecting it to be good. So should I tell the story of why I stopped eating meat? Yeah, please. We can cut it out too, if it's whatever. So maybe probably four years ago, I started volunteering at the Gentle Barn. The Gentle Barn. That's where we met. I got brought to the Gentle Barn.

I was like, I'm a man, damn it. And then Morts was like, oh, I know this guy. Let him out. You're a man. You're eating a lot of hay. Well, it's what you fed us. He ate that whole apple. That is very noble of you to go do stuff.

I say it because I'm a saint. It's kind of selfish too, because some people, they go to the spa, and they leave, and they feel really calm. Massages, they don't do that shit for me. I don't like to be touched by strangers, really. But going to hang out with like, because I went there randomly with a friend, and after I left, I hung out with these goats, and I felt so calm afterwards. I learned that I have this kind of connection to animals.

So I started going there, and what happened? So they had these cows there that had been genetically altered to be giant. Oh, sure, yeah. Yeah, so they're like, whatever, 2,000 pound animals. And so it's just really sad thing, but they take these animals, they save them, and they do all this hilarious stuff. They give them massages, they give them energy work, perfect food, all this stuff.

So you go in there, and you can go in and hug this cow. And it really does feel like you're around like a, have you guys been around like a whale or something? Or like a dolphin? Like there are these exotic... The whale. We've seen the whale. Been around him.

This was not like, I was sobbing in the same way, exact same way I sobbed at the whale. Anyway, so with that, so like, it was just this experience of like, oh shit, these are, and I really like animals. Yeah. So it was like, so, and I think it's hard because I don't, like I said, I've eaten a million cheeseburgers. I do not judge any meeting at all, but I feel lucky,

because after I did that a bunch, this thing happened, we're kind of like the sweets where I was like, fuck, I actually don't really want to eat meat anymore, which was why it was so helpful, because I don't think I could have forced myself to stop. Yeah, right. Because it's so easy, and I love them, they taste so good. I'd make them myself, like, made a really good cheeseburger,

you know, whatever. So anyway, we can cut that out if it's sad. No, no, no, no, it's not all. Yeah, so anyway, so once that, all that happened, I was like, shit, it's cool. I'm like, it's better for the environment, whatever. Yeah. So I like these kinds of places.

I'm going forks given four, four morts on this. Four morts. Four out of five morts. Wow. All right, Mitch. Look, I'm saying this up top. We judge a place, but what Gwaggs breaks down everything about it.

It's appearance, what it's trying to do. Yeah. And I think that this place can take some hits for some of the aesthetics, some of the, you know, the online, the ordering and stuff. But look, when it comes down to it, it is mostly about the food. And what they're trying to do is make vegan-based burgers

and chicken sandwiches that are, you know, an approximation of the real thing. And here's a thing also about this place that I think is good and also maybe a reason why this place is that it felt so much more like a homemade sort of meal. Like it had that vibe to it where I was like, oh, this burger has a great taste to it,

but it also doesn't feel like, Monty's feels like a fast food burger. This feels more like a nicely made vegan burger by like a friend or something, but it was really very good. It was very, very, very tasty. And that's what matters the most is the food side of it. And Gwaggs, a young Mitch and his hot-ass mom

would be shocked, but... I think that I got to go, I think there's no other way to go, but fucking four morts as well. Four morts, wow. I think that, I think it's the crazy thing of this places like probably going to shut down. I hope it doesn't, but I fear that it's on the trajectory.

And I'm like so close, like there's like a couple things that made me be like, oh, maybe it's 3.75. You know what? Maybe the frats did it for me. Yeah. The frats were hit. Everything I had, I enjoyed.

There wasn't a single, and look, we've given four forks to places that have, we've eaten at, and there's like been things where I'm like, I didn't like that. There was nothing here that I didn't like. I liked everything I ate. Yeah. So four forks.

Four morts. Four morts. Four morts so far. Four morts. From our guest and from my co-host. If Apodaka was here, this place would not be getting in the Golden Plate Club. Wow.

He gave it three and a half forks, which translates to three and a half morts by our scale. His review was. Oh, interesting. Yeah. He might have to say maybe a 3.5 burger was pretty good. Fries were good. And I think this is what skews his score down.

Previous shake, truly horrid. He had a really bad experience with the fake chocolate shake he had. But Vegan Ranch was good. He also notes that. Mine was fucking good. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. I did have a great shake. I did have one menu item I didn't love,

which was the mac and cheese, but everything else. Yes. The mac and cheese was the weakest of the game, but I didn't dislike it. I wish they would just not do it. That's what I thought. This place is just better at being like, this doesn't work for us to take it off the menu.

That feels like a thing that they kind of feel like they, the way their menu copy reads, it feels like offering the mac and cheese is like a point of pride for them. But I kind of feel like, yeah, it would be a dish by subtraction to get it out of there. But, or maybe there's a better execution of it that they'll figure out. But based on everything else I had,

the premise of the podcast is like, how is this what you were touching on, Mitch? Does this place accomplish what it's setting off to do? And this place is trying to be a vegan shake shack approximation. Absolutely succeeds there. I really enjoyed my meal. I thought my food was great. And I'm not going to go below four morts,

which means it's in the Golden Mort Club. Wow. Congratulations. Yeah, the Golden Mort Club. The Golden Mort Club. It should be the Golden Burp Club. The Golden Plate Burp. The Golden Plate Burp.

Congratulations. Wow. Thank you for bringing this place to us. This was a lot of fun to eat at and talk about. What was the name of the place? What was the farm you went to called? Oh, the Gentle Barn. The Gentle Barn.

The Gentle Barn. Yeah, yeah. That's right. Well, hey, that was our review. I was trying to think of it, was it called the Tender Bar? And then that's an Affleck movie. Affleck movie.

I sound like I said, Affleck movie. You're going to show up the fucking Gentle Barn with a bib. Wait, do you guys think that the Nick looks more like me than Nick? I kind of do think Nick looks a little bit like you there. But that art was back when I was beardless and had a little bit of a shorter crop hair. And yeah, I'm kind of dressed in Mort cosplay there. Oh, great.

I love your art. It's so cool. Shout out to Crispin Artsdale. Crispin Artsdale, and he really didn't give me any eyes, which is appropriate. But they're really not there. They're happy art with your little spoon. I know.

They know also I am happier than I normally am. Yeah, that part's way off. We're happy. How about Honey Bee Burger? Honey Bee Burger. Honey Bee Burger. Sneaky Golden Plate Club, or sorry, Golden Mort Club Entrant. Only Golden Plate Club.

That's right. But it's also in the Golden Plate Club, just canonically. People are in the LA area and are looking for a vegan eatery. Check it out. Maybe throw it some support. Hey, that was our review of Honey Bee Burger. It's time for a segment. I've got something.

Do you like it more than Monty's? Tough question. I've had Monty's so many more times, and I kind of know what to order at Monty's. I don't have the same relationship with Honey Bee. I mean, your advocacy for this place over Monty's makes me want to go back. I do like it more than Monty's personally.

I will say the Monty's nuggets are kind of crushing it for me right now. And then this place, that's what was wild. Is there chicken sandwich that I had was different. And then it was this time and it was really good both times. Yeah, I go Honey Bee every time. I will say this too. I didn't mention this. I think this is probably, I imagine this is like across the board.

True. It is a little overpriced. Sure. You know what I mean? They shouldn't be like 13 bucks or whatever. The fucking, so much of that is just like American agribusiness of just like the, you know, the fucking meat and dairy industries are so subsidized that they can sell things at absurdly low prices and they don't have to,

like meat is way too cheap for the impact it has on the environment. And for, you know, a big part of it is just how shittily they can handle animals and process them that it lowers their cost. How many of them they can kill in front of their children? Exactly. That's really, really gnarly shit. Well, God bless you for volunteering at the Gentleman. Yeah, for sure.

I'm looking up what, I'm trying to see what we gave, what scores we gave. We were pretty high on Monty's. We had to get to Monty's. What I think I'll say about Monty's, they really figured out their branding. Yeah, that's right. Like it's really, really dialed in. I gave Monty's five forks. You gave Monty's five forks.

Wow. We did Monty's with Evan Susser. That's right. It was for our Shake Shack episode. And Suss gave it 3.75 forks. Yeah, some brand. Yeah. He's a little grumpy.

Yeah. I think maybe I like Monty's more, but I don't know. I don't eat vegan, like I don't eat vegan burgers as much as you do. I don't have Honey Bee more to have like a one-to-one comparison. I've had Monty's more than I've had Honey Bee, but I've had Monty's probably six times or something. Hey, more than Mary as far as I'm concerned. Hey, I've got some hot button food topics and we'll be judge, jury and executioner. It's another edition of Food Court.

Is there a song or something? Oh, there should be a song. What was this? What did you do? I don't know. I was like, I should do like some sort of gavel motion or something, but then I didn't... That's what that was. Well, I was like, I didn't want to...

My improv nerd kicked in where I was like, I guess I have to make the sound for this. I didn't want to hit the table because then I'd knock my Yeti mug over. Which you did spill during lunch too, by the way. Yeah, I spilled my mug during lunch on my pants. I knew how to give you shout wipes. Yeah, there's still a little stain on my pants. It's all right. Interesting.

Wait, can I say another Adobe... I don't know why I keep asking permission. I do Adobe's phrasing that I say sometimes before I eat that I think you guys... My partner doesn't love it because I say it so much, but I go, don't mind if I chew. Fuck, that's so good. That's really good. That's good. That is good.

It should be like a... Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Really harrowing your chords. What is that? There's some good guitar or bass in there. There's a little synthy, I think. Okay, get that in there still too. Is there someone going to make this?

Yeah, we'll make it. In the criminal justice system, food-based crimes are considered the most egregious. Special victims food unit? There you go. You and I are precogs and we're in gravy tubs. We gotta refill the tubs again. All right, here's how this will work, Fork. I think there's going to be a murder, but I need more gravy.

Fork, here's how this will work. I will give a topic and then we will all just collectively weigh in and try to render a decision. First up... I like this. And these topics are all from our associate producer, Emilio Moreno. No, Jesus. What? What's that?

They're going to be insane. No, these are good topics. Okay. Eagle and locks, open face or sandwich together? I gotta take. Yeah, go for it. Open faced. Wow.

You gotta go open faced. Wow. Look, here's the thing is that like, that turns it into like, is locks raw? And it's... It's like smoked usually. It's smoked, yeah. I don't know, then it turns it into like a sandwich and I don't know, on top of the cream cheese. It's such a layered thing to me that I think that it's got to be open faced.

I'm an open faced guy on there. Wow. And I don't love open faced sandwiches, but for bagels and locks, you know what? Like there's been times where I've gotten a bagel sandwich with cream cheese and I've eaten it like as the sandwich. It's not as good as having the two halves. That's the fun about bagels. He's slicing them too.

Open face. Wow. I think I'm with you a little bit. Generally, I prefer a... Because that makes me... Okay. Bagels and locks is such a traditional thing that I think traditionally, I think it is open faced.

So I wouldn't want to touch that. I think I wouldn't want to mess with that history. But that makes me think of like avocado toast. Oh yeah. Which it's... I just... It's... I can be a sloppy eater.

It's sliding all over the place. That's why I generally like a closed faced situation just because... The sloppiness factor is huge. But I think with the bagels and locks, I think the cream cheese does a good job of sort of centering the locks. Yeah, sure. It's more adhesive. Kind of the fly tape of the food world.

The cream cheese gets stuff stuck. Right? Yeah. No, that's a good... Look, these are all good arguments. I'm going to have a third option here, which is that locks... Out of here. You know what?

I don't need that with my bagel. Lock them up. I don't need them. Lock them up. I don't fucking need locks. I don't need it. I prefer a bagel without locks. Yeah.

I'm the same way. Wow. Well, there you go. I generally don't like smoked things. I mean, look... Except for the ganja, buddy. Whoa! I didn't know we partied.

Well, clearly you can tell he does not. He was... There was a very funny thing where he was like, hey, Gabriel, we were on a tech chain together. And he's like, I got some weed things to put myself to sleep every night. And then one of the weed things you got was... Were they coffee beans? They were chocolate-covered espresso beans. Oh, no.

And then you guys were like, hey, that has caffeine in it. We had counterproductive. I was like, oh, man. And think about that. You're going to eat espresso beans to go to sleep? Yeah, it didn't work out. That... Your impression of smoking weed was like what?

Like a Republican congressman thinks that teenagers do. Ganja, buddy! He overlaps with the gates quite a bit. Yeah. You know what? Get rid of locks. Get rid of it. But wait, what is this?

Oh, yeah, the smoked stuff. I don't like smoked stuff that much either. I'm okay with smoked stuff. Even with barbecue, when it's too smoked, I'm like, you're out of here. Yeah, a natural smoke I like, but whatever the smoky flavoring they do, I'm over it. Yeah, I'm with you. Next topic. Onions on burgers, raw or cooked?

Wow. You know what? Wags, shout out to our boy, Armin, who's on the road to recovery. He's doing well. That's right. And if you get the arm... In an outbreak, we get it the Armin way, which is both. My answer is fucking both.

You can do that. Why the fuck not? Whoa, that's like the frotts question. Why not? Why not both? Yeah. Yeah. Both.

I'm going to say, I think that's a good answer. Wait, is this for sandwiches in general or burgers? No, burgers. Specifically burgers. Okay. I really like raw onion on a burger. I honestly kind of feel like it's like raw white onion on a burger is just kind of either diced up or just a big fucking slice.

There's something about that that just like really kind of pierces through in a night. Look, I prefer raw onions to cooked. I'll say that. But you can have both. Yeah, you know both. I'm going to be a little bit contrarian here. Now, growing up, the only fast food we ever got, again, we were poor, so it makes me a very noble person.

Yeah, in the gender bar, don't forget. But we only got white castle was the only fast food until I was like probably 12 or something. So I've got a and just the way cooked. If I'm cooking anything, if I start cooking the onions, I like, so there's something about that taste that I prefer. So I'm going to go. I'm going to go cooked. Wow.

It's funny though, because because those like small cooked, they're like, it feels like they're not cooked very long. You know what I mean? They're like, it's like a nice kiss on the grill. Yeah. We're like, sometimes I think like the over caramelized onions that where they get sloppy. Those are like, that's when I like them the least is like when they're like the sloppy caramelized like if they're like onions that are chopped up and they're like warmed up

on the like, I'm thinking of the I'm thinking of white castle. Those aren't like goopy. Yeah. I mean, sure. Yeah. So I think goopy are my least favorite. I'm with it. Yeah.

They like, they get long and they're like. Yeah. I didn't know that this is look, this isn't a question here, but this may perhaps is as a man who spent some time in Chicago. You might have a respect of on this pivoting from burgers to its grill mate, the sausage or the hot dog hot dog for me is only raw onions. Like I don't want the grilled onions on there. I don't want the caramelized onions, but that's funny though, because but like peppers and

sausage, I can kind of that's yours. You're saying no to the LA dog. I do like that a lot, but I don't know. I still like the that's that's kind of the peppers and sausage sort of thing. And that's the Chicago style. Chicago. Yeah. But I like the fucking, I just love that diced white onion. I think it's best specifically you're saying hot dogs.

I want raw on. Yeah. But sausage, I can sometimes have some cooked onions on. Yeah. I'm pretty simple when it comes to a dog. I really like a sweet relish myself and I'll do the other stuff. I'll do a little spicy mustard. I'll do other stuff on there, but I never got into the like the big giant

sesame seed bun, huge cartoon style sausage. Again, kind of hard to eat for me. A little hard to eat. A little hard to eat. I agree with that. Are you a Chicago guy, no catch up on the hot dog or raised in St. Louis? So that's not really a thing for me.

Right. You know, they, they really go overboard. They die on that hill real hard. Yeah. They're too hardcore about it. And let me ask you, you're fine with Steve Bartman too. You're cool with Bartman. Really close to Bartman.

I would say I saved his life after that. You are sort of out of the stadium. He stayed with me for a couple of years. Do you have as a, as someone who doesn't eat meat, do you have a plant based dog you like? I just, I think not dogs is a great name for the, for the, for those products. But not, I probably haven't had a fake hot dog in a really long time. I could go get more into it, I think, actually.

I've struggled to find one that's all that good. Yeah. I don't know why it's so much tougher than something that's. Yeah, yep. Again, that's why, again, the spicy crispy brown is why the chickens are great. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. They're, it's going to take a long time for they really nail what a hot dog

tastes like, you know? That was, we came down to two names for the show is Doe Boys and Spicy Crispy Brown and Doe Boys One Out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's what I'm always looking for. I like that crunch. I like the salty crunch, spicy brown.

It's not too late to change it. We could change it. We might as well change it. What were some of the other fucking shitty names we had? My favorite was we made it into a segment and just the alternate history where we named the show this and, and whatever happened with it is fun to think about a site of guys. Jesus.

Welcome to site of guys. I'm Nick Joaquin. Site of guys. That sounds like, yeah, that's the name of a gay porno that takes place at a restaurant. The fucking whale is watching it. This is perfect. Okay. Next topic, raised donuts or cake donuts?

Raised donuts or cake donuts? Yes. I'll, I'll fucking lead off in this one. Raised donuts. Agreed. We have raised. Agreed. Raised by donuts.

Agreed. Got to be. I think you're saying raised donuts like R-A-Y-S and I didn't know what the fuck you were talking about. Yeah, I had to think about what raised donuts were. I've never called them that before, but now I know what you mean. The ones that aren't like the cake. They're like the crispy cream. Yeah, non-cake.

Raised. I should have, I should have let it hit the table a little harder. Raised. Raised. Raised. I will say that there are like, there's like a chocolate cake donut that can be very good. There's cake donuts I like. I would, if I was like, I have to pick one.

There's cake donuts I'd be sad to see, to let go forever. But, but if I had to pick one of the two, yeah. We're gonna be raised. Can I get my donut goat? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, uh, chocolate frosted. Classic chocolate frosted.

My friend, one of my really good friends in high school, Paul Kingston, shout out Paul, had this really wonderful, full ideal for a donut restaurant where they served. What were they, uh, flat johns. So they weren't long johns, they're flat. I like that a lot. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I like that a lot.

Yeah. Speaking of, speaking of the longer donuts, speaking of the long boys, my goat, my goat donut, my goat nut might be a maple bar. I fucking love maple bars. They're so far. Interesting. That's a taste you can't really get anywhere else. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, it's really specific. Like that would be, that would be an interesting ice cream. Cause the, the good butter cake ice cream has me think about what is other stuff that's not ice cream flavors that could be. Here's, here's, I was talking about this in the dough boys discord, the dough scored wigs. That's right.

We had a big long conversation about this. This is sadly, this is what happens in the discord. Uh, our doughnuts, and this is like a hot dog, a sandwich type of question is annoying, but our doughnuts dessert. Right. And I'm like, you do get served donuts as a dessert. You, it does happen. It is like, is, and then I was like, also think I was like, when I was a kid, I go

to Dunkin Donuts. Yeah. I get a coffee or I'm, I wouldn't usually get coffee, get like a coolot or something. Sure. I get a bagel sandwich and then I get a chocolate frosted. And I did eat the donut last. Here's the thing is that sometimes you only have a donut and is a donut a dessert.

I think donut is kind of a breakfast dessert. I think it is maybe just, I was always been sneakily a dessert, but I don't know what you think. These, these discussions of taxonomy gets so tricky. I know. I think, I think it's not a dessert. I think you can't, you can't, like if you're going to a place and they're like, Hey, we have some, you know, we have some frosted mini donuts as a

dessert, but you'd be like, Oh, okay. That's fine. But you'd also think like, Oh, that's kind of a take on dessert. That's kind of like a restaurant. You know what you're right. It's just, it's just breakfast. It's a breakfast thing. It's a breakfast pastry.

It's like, it's a bear claw dessert. No, it's an easy no. Right. If you eat a first thing in the morning, standard, it's not dessert. Yeah. Yeah. But I do think when you're eating it with breakfast, like I like it at the end, I agree with that.

I agree with that. Well, what about, like, do you do the same thing with a pancake? Do you do pancake at the end? Like, wow, what's the syrup on it? You know what, I kind of do do that. If I usually, a lot of the times when I get, yeah, I will, the same guys were here and we did, we did table cakes. We did a ton.

We did some, some table pancakes. And that was a thing that we were all eating at the end. Our head gum, a head gum mate, Ian Carmel is the thing he advocates. The pancakes for the table. Great. Fun to do because it's like, you order like pancakes for yourself. You have like two pancakes. You're like, Jesus Christ, I'm wrecked for the day.

Yeah. Right. Totally. It's so tough. But yeah, you might have, you might enjoy a quarter of a pancake you share with the party. And I feel like in continuing this conversation, we're having, I feel like pancakes have gotten bigger and thicker.

Yes. From what I'm seeing. Yeah. Yeah. So you're especially wrecked after three of those. Yeah. It's gnarly. Things are getting bigger and thicker these days.

It's just the way things are going. Excited guys. All right. Hey, speaking of stuff that is possibly a sweet treat you'd have first thing in the morning, cereal, or milk first or poor cereal first? Oh, easy for me. Cereal first. Yeah.

Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Cereal first gotta be. Who the fuck pours milk first? That's Joker's shit. No one pours the milk first. Who are you?

Who out there is pouring the milk first? He's psychos. You know who does I bet? Who? Elon Musk. I bet you Musk does too. 100%. He'd like post a photo of that or a little video of that to like troll people.

Yeah. Like, I fucking love that guy. Yeah, we love him. He's so good. Oh, I love his politics. Politics are great. Extremely funny. I've you guys heard he's got a bunch of money.

Did you know that? Yeah. It's got and having money that makes you good. Yeah. That's cool. You have money you rule. So money's money's cool as fuck. Yeah.

Hell yeah. I didn't show your worth as a human being. All right. Next up. Chips in a sandwich. Yes or no. This is a good one. I here's my answer on this one.

Only if the sandwich maker is putting the chips in the sandwich. I don't add chips to my sandwich. I don't add fries to my sandwich. But if the sandwich maker, the mythical sandwich maker is putting them into the sandwich, like when I went to the that spot in New Orleans, which I forget the name of, which sucks that I forgot the name of it, but they had that baloney sandwich. I think I had chips in the sandwich.

You're not talking about jockemos. You're talking about the Pullman. The pull. What the fuck is it? I'll think of it. Keep you. You say your answer. I'll get it.

I was just going to say, speaking of sandwich maker. And speaking of young, beautiful moms, my lovely mom, Carrie Weiger, when she would make a sandwich for me as a boy, she introduced me to peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some potato chips inside. And let me tell you, that is a delight. You get a little bit of salt with that sweet and you get that crunch. It is so good. So I'm going to be, I'm going to be yes, but I do think that your, your little

addendum, Mitch, your conditional that it has to be part of the sandwich maker's intention is valid. So I'll say that. I'll agree with you there. I think I love chips so much that I don't want them to feel diluted by the same. Fascinating. That's a great, I like that. That's a great, that's a great point.

Thank you. I love chips, fries, I mean, it's all potato-based. It's all good stuff. Potato versus corn chips. Where do you land? Potato all the time. Wow. Do you have a favorite?

Turkey and the wolf, by the way. Turkey and the wolf. Turkey and the wolf. Good name. It's a sandwich. It's a great spot. Great spot. Yeah.

What was it? Do you have a, a preferred potato chip for idol? Oh my God. I mean, I love a classic ruffle. I love a chip and a dip. I'll do a ruffle and a French-Russian dip. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think that's from childhood too. I think that stuff you get early is the best. We found out recently when we did the Fritos wigs during our ongoing, now has, it has ended spotify live. We finally finished our 30-week contractor spotify live show. When we did the Fritos dips, I was like shocked at how good the Fritos dips were. Those were fucking good. They were so fucking good.

That's the name of the chips. They're called, like Fritos and then they have like the Fritos dips. And like the metal can. Yes. And they're, if you try those ever, they're like way better than you would ever think they are. They're great. It's good shit.

Really? All right, Fork, we've got time for one more. I'll let you decide the topic. We can talk pizza, sandwiches or brew dogs. Ooh, I'm going to go. I had pizza hut last week. I'm going to go pizza. Yes.

Eat crust or leave crust? Eat crust. All right, let's get on a brew dog. For God's sake. Leave crust? I'll say though, to be addressed, if you're not eating the crust, there's something wrong with the crust. You got to get a better crust, right?

That's honestly, that's a great call. That's like a sign that you should maybe pick a different pizzeria. Look, I'm saying the only time you're going to leave crust of like you've had four pieces of pizza and you're eating your fifth one, then you're like, I'm done and you throw down the, you don't eat the crust. Because of course, a lot of the times what's before the crust is better than the crust, but you still eat the crust, it's still a part of the pizza. And you get bites of the cheese and the sauce with the crust.

Wags, ask the brew dog question, please. I have a follow-up. Amelia, Amelia, don't waste our time with this shit. Don't waste our time. We're going to say, don't eat the crust. What are we talking about? What are we doing here, Amelia? Amelia. Am I four, Amelia?

I eat the crust. That's strike two, Amelia, strike two. I can't believe you guys are paying her so much money. We pay you so much, Amelia. This is what you bring us. She's bought a bunch of houses. I know, I know, it's like amazing. Amelia's great.

Last question. Wait, I do one thing. As someone who eats plant-based or who eats doesn't eat meat, at least. What are your pizza toppings of choice? I, onions, I'll go onions and green peppers. I'm a little weird, but I'm weird. I like pineapple. I know.

Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, those are my go-tos. But I like a black olive. Pineapple, you know what? If you add jalapeno on the pineapple, you're doing all right. That's what I'm talking about. That's honestly a veggie combo. Natalie and I will do is jalapeno, pineapple, and onion.

And you know what? Not bad, not too bad at all. Got some bacon in there, you're in business. Yeah. Well, I haven't been to the Tender Bar. Fuck the fucking Tender Bar. You gotta hug those cows. Yeah, I'm here for the Tender Bar, licking your lips.

That cow does look tender. Fucking Aflex behind the counter, we're in business. I mean, we pay you 58 dough bucks a week. Come on. And those are only redeemable for a song from you, right? Yeah, for 1,000 dough bucks, you can get a song from me. Why is I last? This is the Brew Dog one.

Yeah, Brew Dogs, let's hear it. Bottle or can? This is great. Yes, this is really good. Amelia, you're down to one strike. Yeah, Amelia, you lost a strike with that one. Fuck. I'll answer.

And I say this because I look at my nightly thing I do now. A Heineken zero. Delightful, delightful little just taste of the fake beer. It soothes me. I got my answer. I do that and I prefer that in a bottle. Zero alcohol or zero? Zero alcohol.

0.0%, yeah, that's a big thing. It's at 69 calories and you know what? Works for me just fine. Hell yeah. But yeah, you can get that in a bottle, you get that in a can, I prefer in a bottle, so I'm gonna say bottle. Wags? I think bottles go last in my ranking and because I would like a draft

before I would get a bottle. Yeah. And then also, I like the can. I think I like can. First of all, cans are funny. They're just reminding me of youth and cookouts and ice cold can and shotgun and all that sort of stuff. I'm going can over bottle.

I like cans. Wow. I don't drink, but no surprise there, but I love a bottle. I love bottles. And you saying that does make me realize it is really fun, of course, to pop a can like that's just a fun move, but there's something about the weight and it feels expensive. Like I feel like a rich man and I'm taken out of a bottle.

It feels fancy. I like both of them more than plastic, of course. I mean, they get plastic out of you. I don't want plastic. And I have recently been like, I'm going to drink. I think I'm going to become a liquid death guy. I like liquid. I think I'm turning.

I'm going to turn into a liquid death guy. Yeah. No, that's a good water brand coming in the tall. I like drinking out of a tall boy. That reminds me of my youth. That's fun. Dude, they should put them in 40 ounces. Oh, that'd be a that'd be sick.

Infinitely recyclable is what they is what they say about about nice, which is good. Yeah, that's good. Nice. Wow. Hey, that was food for I think we said a lot of a lot of hot issues there, just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's open the feedback.

And today we have an email from Steve. Steve writes, Hey, do boys at all, a pair of inmates recently escaped a Virginia jail and were found hours later at a local IHOP. It's kind of dark and twisted. This is Stephen King. Yeah, this is Stephen from Maine. Stephen from Halki. As an inevitable pair of inmates.

Wow. What would your jailbreak restaurant in order? Inevitable. The one you'd pick if you'd only eaten prison food for years and would soon only again eat prison food, keep up the good work. All right. Was it a question mark? No, I just like the way it was written.

I'm kind of like, huh? How's it written? Exclamation point. Oh, I think that's about you, dude. So as I guess in the scenario, we are knowing like, OK, we've escaped, but freedom is fleeting. We're going to be caught again. So let's just make the most of it.

And it's a restaurant? Seems like it's a restaurant. She's a restaurant. Wow. IHOP is kind of a good choice, but I do feel like you might be able to get. You might be able to get IHOP approximate food in the joint. You're saying that maybe like, man, to get like a big breakfast at Waffle House would be. Oh, yeah.

I guess it would depend on the time of day, too, of course. Do you eat eggs more or no? Yeah, I'll eat eggs. OK. Well, I think part of what part of the that what that's making me think of, though, you met, she's saying Waffle House and thinking about the IHOP is one thing you'll miss, not just the food quality in the joint is also just like the idea of being in a restaurant.

Yeah. And maybe, yeah, maybe I'd like, maybe I'd rather have, you know, Burger King, but there's something about sitting down and being served and having a hot mug of coffee, like being having being deprived of those things. It would be so comforting. Waffle House is a great answer. Wow. That is that's that's huge because in my mind, I was like, my answer is probably

like most things in this podcast, either pizza or McDonald's Taco Bell. Taco Bell, too. But like, I think that if I was locked in jail, I'd be like, I want like a fucking Big Mac or something. I want fries. Yeah. But your thing of like sitting down and eating a meal like you would kind of want and like have someone bringing you food.

Nice. Seems pretty great. I don't know. Maybe it would be maybe just as Waffle House. Good answer. I like that's a solid answer. I this is making me realize that the people in there are like, oh, you smell like shit, did you like escape from like a sore pipe?

And we're like, no. You got you got you're wearing a handcuff that's cut in half. But I I I realize I'm here's another thing about me. When I whenever I'm done eating in a restaurant, I want to leave immediately. It's like, almost interesting. Yeah, OK. If I'm in a diner with friends, maybe after like a comedy show, that's cool. I'm down to like hang and talk.

That's fun. But so I'm realizing I maybe I'm not that into like I didn't notice the honey bee design. So my go tos right now, just right now, what I would like to do. Did you guys ever have Ricky's fish tacos? Yes, I've not had Ricky's fish tacos. I've had them. They're great. Gone now.

Wait, it's gone. Yes. As far as I know, it's this singular taco truck in LA that made the best, like crispy fish tacos, really fresh onion, pepper thing. Know what sucks is that I don't think I ever had a lobster taco from there. Neither did I. I would just do the fish. It's like, Ricky's is gone.

I think so. I mean, you know, let the people ride in if I'm wrong. But I think so. Wow. That's tough. I thought for sure that dude was going to open like a super popular restaurant. Rick and mortar. Yeah, because he was like very highly rated, too. Like anyway, so that Ricky's fish tacos.

That's right. Go. That's a great answer. Rick and mortar kind of sounds like Rick and Morty. It does. Yeah. I can't believe we didn't get those rolls. We should have got. We should have been the new Rick and Morty. Yeah.

The this is that what you were just saying is making me think of the fork. What the fuck is going on for? Well, like soings. That's what it says. What you're saying is is making me think of like going like sitting down at like a like an old school Mexican restaurant. Like that's really fun. And that's a really good experience.

So that's the kind of thing that I maybe have some nostalgia for. But you know what I'm going to say, Mitch? You know, I make my answer and this is related to you. Imagine if we're the inmates. The old school pizza parlor is a blast. I think if we went to like a Desano, got some big pies, that would be a sort of sat around with some pictures as cola. That's a good afternoon or evening answer.

Yeah, they serve in the big black skillet thing and put it on the. Oh, that's a hoot. Oh, like a BJ's. Go to BJ's. Get yourself a fucking bazookie. Oh, what a hoot that would be. Real life. Oh, Rick, I don't know. I think that he apologized.

I think justice was served. Anyway, if you have a question or condo about the world, or was it hashtag justice is served? It was just it was the caption was simply justice. It wasn't even a hashtag. It was low, all lowercase justice. Very odd. Emails, the double is podcasted email.com

or leave us a voicemail 830 Godot. That's 830-4636844. And you can get the double or we can bonus episode by joining the golden or platinum play club at patreon.com. Slashdowboys. ForkBerp, aka BortBerk. Thank you so much for joining us. What an absolute delight to have you on the podcast.

Was I right to hype up? Mitch, you were right. Please come back, Bort. We had a way, this was a blast. Thanks for sharing how to be with us. Anything you would like to plug at this time? Yeah, my special is gonna be out by the time this comes out on YouTube and Apple Music and Spotify.

It's called Spiritually Filthy. I'm very proud of it. Thank you so much, you guys, for having me. Thank you for being here. It's been a lot. I'm so glad you liked it. Tons of food. It was great.

Check out that special. Yeah. And you know what? You don't have to tune back into the show anymore. Yeah, Mitch and I have to go back to prison. And I'll do it for this episode of Doughboys till next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, and Nick Weigher.

Happy eating. See ya. What's up, everybody? On the next Doughboys Double. We're joined by senior analyst from Technomic, Andy Ross, to go over the newly published annual list of the top 500 chain restaurants. Who will claim the title for number one chain?

And what does AUV mean? Find out next week at patreon.com slash Doughboys. That's patreon.com slash Doughboys. See you there. Sources for the intro are in the episode description. That was a hate gun podcast.