Doughboys - Jack in the Box 2 with Don't Stop or We'll Die

Episode Date: January 26, 2023

Michael Cassady and Paul Rust of Don't Stop or We'll Die join the 'boys to discuss New Years resolutions, Ben Affleck, and Jack Box before a review of Jack in the Box. Plus, another edition of Let Me Be Frank. Sources for this week's intro: https://www.nytimes.com/1992/12/23/garden/bill-clinton-and-food-jack-sprat-he-s-not.html https://www.bbc.com/news/av/entertainment-arts-21065617 https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2001-jun-06-fo-6863-story.html https://www.foodsafetynews.com/2017/12/jack-in-the-box-e-coli-outbreak-25th-anniversary/ https://www.mashed.com/800382/how-the-jack-in-the-box-e-coli-outbreak-changed-the-way-food-recalls-work/Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, UberEats. At UberEats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. UberEats' global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data,

and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on UberEats. Get access to the UberEats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there anytime to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow. Restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on all orders, offer subject

to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow. 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is.

Move your cursor. Go ahead and click, or if you're on your phone, use your finger. And click that link. Click that link in the episode description. The good news is my husband loves to eat and enjoys it. The bad news is he loves to eat even when things are not always right for him. This quote comes from a 1992 New York Times piece by Marion Burroughs and is attributed to Hillary Clinton, wife of then-president-elect Bill Clinton.

The male Clinton was known both on the campaign trail and in office for his voracious appetite for both women and for fast food. His morning jogs to McDonald's, accompanied by secret service agents, were famously parodied in an SNL sketch starring the late great Phil Hartman. And his Mickey D's consumption continued after he left office and even when he later went vegan. In a January 2013 BBC News interview, actor Kevin Spacey discussed how a road trip visit to McDonald's with a former president informed his portrayal of majority whip Frank Underwood

on the Netflix series House of Cards. Shortly after taking office, Clinton put a different fast food chain on his Nixon-style enemies list. A San Diego-founded burger and taco shop known for its curly fries and gumball machine-proportioned clown mascot. In 1993, the chain faced national outrage after four children died of E. coli 0157H7 contracted from the restaurant's Monster Burger. Clinton would discuss the incident with the mother of one of the dead children in a televised

town hall, and his Clinton healthcare task force took decisive action as the Department of Agriculture, FDA, and USDA all implemented new safety protocols for ground beef. Though one could be depressed that action was reserved for meat safety when so many other critical health issues remain unaddressed to this day. Both Clinton and Spacey are now more known for their disgraceful sex scandals and association with quote-unquote suicide victim Jeffrey Epstein than the career achievements. But also today, thankfully for its sake, the clown-fronted curly fry purveyor is more known for its offbeat TV commercial campaign and transparent stoner pandering than its pre-teen

body count. This week on Doughboys, we return to Jack in the Box. We also just established that we were going to bring our guests in- No, we didn't. That's next week's episode, you fucking idiot. Fuck. That was the thing we said at what MSA multiple times. Before we started, we're recording these episodes out of order.

This one's coming out first, so they just spoiled something that's coming in the next week's episode. You can't remember that one detail. I got a confession, I forgot. Eric from Denver sent that in, had an alt Hideo Comida creator of Man Who Fears Salad, which I think is supposed to be a pun on Metal Gear Solid, a little strained. Big fan thanks, roastspoonman at gmail.com. You know what's legal up there, dude?

Fucking devil's lettuce, my buddy. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you can have a jazz cigarette, buddy. In Denver, I don't know if people know this about Denver. I don't know if people know this about Denver, man. The mile high city, you can get mile high, buddy. Our guests who are normally very silly don't like this. It's possible it's because it sucks, like maybe they don't like it because it's bad.

I remember Bob tried to write a sketch, Pot Tours, and it was like when Veed became legalized that, and he was trying to like, casually calling Bob Odenkirk Bob, very Hollywood. Yeah, Bob, babe. Bob tried to write this thing called Pot Tours, and we're like, let's see it, Bob. Let's see what you got. And he was writing it, and it was like this weird thing about like Pot Tours, and it never went into the birthday boy show. And then I remember he did with Bob and David, and Hanford and I like went and rehearsed a

day on it, and he's like, all right, let's talk over Pot Tours, and then the rest of the cast, the rest of the cast, like PFT and everyone, they were like, oh, not Pot, like they were all mad that Pot Tours just came out again. Should I not tell this story about? I think it's fine. The guy who helped us get a show, but everyone was like, oh, not fucking Pot Tours, so it was a funny thing to see it travel over, and be a thing that people didn't like. Sometimes you're ready to sketch, you can't let it go, you just want to see it through

the light. No, he's great for that reason. I love Bob. I call them Bob, we're friends like that. We are friends. You guys are friends, and we got some good friends here, bitch, which we want to introduce in just one second. Should we give like an edit point at some point for that end of that story?

Anyways, wigs. Should we, like, hey, Emma, what would help give like a clean edit point there? Leaving it in would be the easiest. Okay, leaving it in would be easiest, all right, so like, that's maybe option B. What's option A? We want to have an edit point for that. Just go, uh, for like 30 seconds. That's good.

That's good. You wouldn't believe it. Uh. Uh. Welcome to the show. No, this would be, we've already welcomed people to the show. Bob's a fucking idiot. That's not funny.

Everyone thinks Bob is the funniest guy on earth. Anyways. Well, a fucking legend. He's a legend. Living legend. Anyway, welcome to the show. Uh, wigs, howdy ho to Spoon Nation, and we got to get a little drop in here. I think Samus could work as a name, kind of walking the line of like, Samus Mitchell.

Well, that almost sounds like, oh, I got a traditional Irish name, Samus Mitchell. Samus. Samus, get downstairs. There's a fucking Metroid on the fucking loose. The super one at that. Oh, the bad cheese I've been a shear in or out and about. Quite the bad cheese. You got the bad cheese of Irish here in suit upgrade.

Oh, Colin Ferrell's down here sucking his donkey off. Get down here. Where did the ham suck in his donkey off? Oh, I guess that he loves a donkey in the movie. Yeah. That was just fan, kind of fan fictiony in a way. Yeah, I think we were just riffing on banshees of Innocheer. Yeah.

And Samus Iran from Metroid. Who you pitched as a baby name? Wait, I thought it was Samus Aaron. I've heard it as Aaron. I've heard it as Iran. I'm not sure. Do they speak in a Metroid dread? I haven't played Metroid dread.

Iran is a country. Iran is a country, that's true. It does not preclude her name being pronounced as Iran. I've never heard it. I've always thought it was Aaron. I've heard it as Aaron. I've heard it as Iran. I don't know what's correct.

Dude, talk about the ultimate boner when that suit comes down. You see it's a babe. Oh my God, yeah. Oh, dude. You finish it under the time limit and she fucking takes your suit off and it's a fucking babe. Dude, the ultimate boner. Is that true?

You have to finish it in a short period of time. In the original Metroid, Metroid 1, which I had for the NES. If you finish it under the time limit, yeah, she takes your suit off. Oh, dude. She's a fucking babe. Now I know why I caught my dad playing Metroid. Dad, dude. Oh, it's for a big.

You're fucking sick, dude. It's some real research for a big case. All right, dad. Can we laugh really? The reason I wasn't laughing at any of the Denver stuff because I just, I don't know if we're supposed to be politely off mic, but holy cow, you guys are cracking me up. Yeah, guys. It's mine.

You guys can do it. I'll laugh but not speak. I just, I want to know I can laugh and it's not weird. Yeah, we want to be able to laugh. Okay. Okay. Okay. This sucks.

We're trapped. I've never seen a woman in this many bits. Eight. Eight. Oh, fuck. That's the guy who made the first Russian doll. Hi, Doughboy fam and happy 2023. Here's a little drop straight from Brinstar honoring the late great Samus Mitchell.

Much love. Kim from Cleveland. P.S. Can I update my status from Doughboy's fans wife to Doughboy's fans ex-wife? Oh my God. Sorry, Jeff, but I think you'd laugh at this too. Holy shit. That's cold.

She had a conversation with her husband on there, I think. Sounds like an ex-husband. Does it? Jeff sounds like the ex-husband. Unless she was making a joke that like, hi, I'm going to get a divorce. Oh, okay. That's what I thought she was saying. Unless she might have been saying we actually got divorced, but we're on good terms.

That's the way I read that. Oh, well, I'm emailing her now. Send me your divorce paperwork. I must see that before I ask you out on that date. Oh, there must prove. We're very, very excited to have our guests back. Nick and Bryce, the Power Pop band, Don't Stop or We'll Die, who have a new album, Signature Please, available now today.

As of this record, Michael Daniel Cassidy and Paul Ruster here. What's up, boys? Hey, Nick, Mitch. What's up, dudes? Nick, Mitch. Guys. Oh, so good to see you guys. It's great to be on these little cozy chairs and couches with you.

We're IRL. We're in person. IRL and awesome. Yeah, what Paul said is definitely true. I mean, you heard us laughing. You're the funniest. It sucked. You guys are the funniest.

Yeah, it did suck, but we're happy to have you guys. The mile high thing even was funny to me. You guys got me in the palm of your hand. Yeah, it's so good to be with you guys IRL for the first time since COVID. Yes, I know, right? Would it have been in Mitch's? Yeah. Old please.

Yeah, way back. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. That's right. In the, by the mirrored dining room table. That's right. The old mirrored dining room table of Palmerston. I had like, I had like eight inches of space in the, like under the back end of the table.

Like I was just like, like wedged in. I think that table's not crotch level wise. Okay. Do you guys have a really- What table is that crotch level? You guys have a release show tonight as of this episode's release at the lodge room for anyone in LA. We can see you guys and the sloppy boys.

And, and Townland. And Townland. So, so check that out if you're in LA. I've heard a rumor. Yeah. Is Jay Leno opening? Well, we cannot say that on the air, Mitch. I, there was, he was originally going to, then he had to cancel because of his accident.

But as you know, he has been hitting this circuit again recently. So like Mike said, we can't say it for sure, but wink, wink, denim, denim. He might be there. If you see a certain fire truck out on the town, follow it on over to the lodge room. That's what he rides in now. With a hose always carefully placed towards his chin in case something happens. Really, that, really set the audience's chins ablaze. Come on, Jay.

That's crazy. What a hundred years from now, people will be like, do you know where the term setting their chins ablaze came from? Yeah, it was Leno, I think it was. Well, actually it was Leno, but it was by way of the Doughboys podcast. Mike Mitchell. Oh, Mitchell said it. Oh, King by Mitchell.

Yeah, King Mitchell. Yeah. Our sovereign leader. Yeah, our immortal king. Yeah. Immortal? There he is now on the giant screen watching. Subjects.

Yeah. Or yeah, he floats by on a little hovering thing. Yeah, that's probably what happened. Good luck. I look forward to it. My family got chosen to be eaten by the immortal King Mitchell. Every year, only 1,000 families are chosen. Three per day.

So we're here in, we're January, very, very, very exciting news with you guys new album. I hope people check that out. I hope people check out the show, but also new year, new year's resolution. And I'm curious, do the two of you have any, do the two of you have any two years resolutions, any food related new year's resolutions? Do you typically do that sort of thing? Yeah. Do you guys have any food related new year's resolutions?

It's a common thing. People do that. Sure. Oh. They could be either saying, hey, pump the brakes on them food or, hey, I want to explore new things. Yeah, sure. Why don't I get a little more curious about the food.

Less broccoli and more cheese. That's possible. And he'll also expand it if you have any of you made in the past that you've had any success or a lack of success with. Well, Mike, when you said broccoli, that reminded me this morning. When I woke up, I was thinking, you know, for somebody that I came across like a sardine or something like that. Oh, our dog.

We feed them like feed her old sardines with that. So and I don't like to put my hand in a bucket to touch it. Yeah. I mean, they come delivered from somewhere. Like, but it's not like we just collect them. Is it possible your dog is a seal? Yeah. Seal of approval.

Hmm. I think I think it works. Yeah, that works. That's good. But I was like, oh, thinking with sardines and Brussels sprouts have really gotten slept on in the last 20 years as the icky food. Yeah. Don't put sardines or.

I remember that being couched in Ninja Turtles for me. That's when I that's where I learned that sardines were like, oh, that's weird if you like that. So I did it. You don't want little fishies on those pizzas. I don't want little fishies on the pizza. The turtles hate sardines. Is that what it was?

And chovies, I think they hate. Oh, it's anchovies. But it's the same sort of the same sort of like a little gross fish thing that's like really salty. I am thinking of anchovies. Yeah, I thought they were similar. Yeah. But yeah, sardines, a wet thing that you eat.

People eat out of a can. Oh, that's pretty. That's pretty nasty. Hey, that's my resolution. Then I'm going to try to bring back sardines and Brussels sprouts as not food. I'll eat. Yeah. Just as like those foods.

Yeah, a little bit of a Brussels sprout resurgence. I feel like like it's like people have been trying to like reclaim it as like, hey, we're going to do like a roasted Brussels sprout with like some states. It's like used as currency. Right. Yeah. The U.S. states. Yeah.

In some U.S. states. In the state of Brussels. Broccoli too. I feel like broccoli is an interesting one because everyone, like kids don't like broccoli, I guess. Then Dana Carvey said chopping broccoli. He did that song. Right.

Also, big broccoli bought him out and made him do that SNL sketch. That was the thing. What was funny is like, it was ironic about that bit is that he most famously did an impression of George H.W. Bush who hated broccoli. Like he took broccoli off the White House. Oh, yeah. I wonder if Dana Carvey ever performed in front of George H.W. Bush and said a chopping broccoli.

Like, probably like not eating broccoli. Yeah. Like chopping broccoli from the menu. Well, yeah. Cause there's like the presidents here. If you like, he's okay with doing the Bush impression. I think it's kind of fun. They did it.

Do it. Yeah. But if you do like the, the, the bit with Elton John, just don't do chopping broccoli because he's going to be like really. Well, a lot of people think that George H.W. Bush just puked on that Japanese ambassador because he... Yeah. Embarrassing.

Yeah. Oh. I still think about it every morning. Every morning I wake up and cold sweat. The shame of what happened. Shame. And... Is it an emperor that he threw up on?

No. It was this, I think it was... I think it was... Well, that ended with Japanese... Well, that ended with Japanese... New clothes. Yay! He's an ambassador, a member of parliament.

I think it was meeting with a prime minister and some, some part, some people of it from his own direction. Well, he threw up because Dana Carvey was next to him singing. Yeah. Popped broccoli. Yeah. Yeah, if you go back and look at the footage. That's true.

I'm sure actually we could put it in the show notes. You know, Dana was trying to crack that sketch forever. And he had an idea. He was like the broccoli thing. And I remember I was there and like spayed and far away. Who's this guy? Oh man. That's a sketch.

You were in question with me at the beginning of the episode? Hold on. I did not have New Year's resolutions that were food based. I want to answer your question. Wow. One of them was going to be to stop drinking Red Bulls, but I just continued immediately. So I gave up on it. I was in with this, this sweet chain too.

Oh, that's true. Yeah. That's true. Well, is there any food stuff that you're saying not going to do it to this point in time? I didn't really do New Year's resolutions this year. I've had some issues with it being like, because it feels so all or nothing and it feels like you failed it.

If you don't, you know what I mean? It's like, I just, I have trouble with those being so, they get too rigid in my mind and actually sometimes find like they're counterproductive for me personally, but I know they work for some people. I hear you say rigid. Before you did, I thought, oh, it sounds like it's just too rigid. Too rigid. You didn't know not November, you told me.

I did know not November, yeah. And so did that, it was an accidental, no, not November, correct? Yeah, for a little bit. Yeah. And then you did doughnut December. I did doughnut December, where I was trying to have doughnuts and also nut as much as possible. No. While eating doughnuts.

While eating doughnuts. Do not and doughnut. Do not. I was doing both. Yeah. It was a combo. Yeah. I knew something was up.

I walked into a dunk and doughnut and the whole step was covered in gum. And I was like, was wiker? And they were like, just here. It was Ben Affleck? I remember I wanted a dunk and doughnut and it was covered in gum, and Beth was like, it wasn't me. He pulled a shaggy, sort of. Affleck did a shaggy?

Affleck did a shaggy. Affleck loved to do a shaggy. Affleck did the shaggy. Affleck shaggyed you. They should do a shaggy reunion with the shaggy, the singer, and then shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Absolutely. Where they merged them. And the actor who played shaggy in the live action, Scooby-Doo, like the animated shaggy.

Yeah. Matthew Willard. But all in the beginning of all the shaggies. Like a weird hybrid of animation and flesh. Yeah. It's like the thing comes out and it's the part. Okay. Yeah.

We'll do that. We'll do that. They also had the shaggy dog, which is like kind of there, but that's the Tim Allen movie where it turns into a dog. Oh, yeah. So they had like the shaggy dog. We think you could get away with it. Neil Campbell, a friend of all of ours.

Yeah. We want to, I think the first time I ever went to New York, we, well, I know, certainly the first time I went to New York, Neil and I were going to the UCB to do a show. And when we were flying out, Neil saw the shaggy dog, like a jet blue, and he came off when we like landed in New York because we were sitting in different seats. He was so excited to tell me about shaggy, specifically a part of shaggy dog, where when you find out that Tim Allen has been shaggy dog, it like goes into his bloodstream and then on blood cells, like little shaggy dogs start like riding through.

Is that true? I was like, I understood why I would have stood up in the airplane and screamed. I heard that when Tim Allen to this day gets an erection, it's like a pink lipstick dog erection. You heard that. You heard that? Did you hear also that when that happens, you can zoom in to the dog erection and little, the sperms all have little, little, little pink lipsticks on them?

Can you confirm? That was a part of what I heard. Oh, to your point about two years resolutions. I've only ever owned female dogs because I was joking about this related to the resolution. I don't want to deal with any of the pink things. Girl. Who would still invite that into their life? There was a dog Riley on our street who would hump people like he'd hump everybody.

I liked him. He was a good dog. We had a neighbor dog who would hump everybody and things. The family that owed the dog, it was a boy and a girl. The dog would go and hump a pillow in the basement and then when he would walk away, would leave a little wet spot. The kid who owed the dog would go over and crack us up by going over and smelling it and going, oh.

That's, oh. One of the best all time bits. He doesn't like the smell. Riley would leave the little wet spots everywhere. Then there was a few times where I got yelled at. Mrs. Tufo looked out in the yard and I was humping Riley. The Tufos liked that though, right? That made you more part of the family.

He's a good dog. He's dead. He's gone now. Oh, whoa. Humping Jimi Hendrix up in heaven. Leaving wet spots on all of our heroes. There he got us sniffing the pillow and going, ooh. On all the angels and cracking up.

Maybe my dad is. Yeah. Do you guys think God's funny? God's got to be a little funny. Nick, go out on Sunset Boulevard right now and look around. You'll see what a sense of humor he is. Look who's in the White House. God's pretty funny.

I'm curious about, because I know you both are Iowans, and I know Jack in the Box has a limited national presence. It's mostly on the West Coast, but it's got dots here and there. It's weirdly in North and South Carolina, I believe. Was there Jack in the Box in Iowa? I didn't experience it until I moved here. Wow. I didn't even see them there, did you, Paul?

No. I wanted to actually speak to this, but yeah, go ahead. Yeah. No, just that I would probably have seen it for the first time in LA. Not even in New York, I don't think. Were you aware of it? Or you just saw it and you're like, oh, what's this? Not really, because local advertising wouldn't include it either.

Right, right, right. So two ways I was aware of it. And there was no, I was like reflecting like, yeah, I didn't see it until 2004 when I was out here. And then ate at our first Jack in the Box. Jack in the Box. But like the in Pulp Fiction, Samuel Jackson, when he's asked them what they're eating,

he's like, is it McDonald's Burger King, Jack in the Box? Right. I was like, okay. Right. There must be a coastal chain of burgers. And Jack from Jack in the Box, like the mascot is in Pulp Fiction too. Yeah, he's the Gip.

It's funny because you like look at Pulp Fiction. Always with his face covered. Yeah, and it's like, oh wow, Kathy Griffin's in Pulp Fiction. Fill them are. Fill them are. And then Jack Box is in Pulp Fiction too. Jack's Box. It's like, oh, it's an interesting kind of time stamp

in terms of character actors. Yeah, and what was going on in LA comedy? 100%. Yeah, yeah. Because Jack, I know he was doing a lot of just open mics working out his, which so sucks. He only did one hour. You know, I guess he felt like.

It's a good hour though. Solid hour. I mean, it's a perfect hour. I could understand why Jack in the Box never wanted to do another hour special after that. Well, I know that he did like, because he came up, he like would write jokes for people at the comedy store. So he'd be like, hey, Karlin, like check this out.

And you're like, oh, I never heard that he wrote stuff for. That's awesome. That actually makes a lot of sense now if you like, if you see him in like the modern day Jack in the Box commercials, you can kind of see what that came from. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. He's like, he's like, I mean, he's one of the funniest dudes.

And hey, God bless him for like wanting to get paid. You know, that's like, hey, if you can get paid in this industry. Hey, I would fall to you for, I wouldn't even call it selling out. No, yeah. I would call that kind of living your fullest, truest self. Yeah.

And maybe, yeah, your biggest accomplishment. That's awesome that he had that street cred early on, though, that he was kind of like submitting jokes. Well, it's a perfect thing, you know, for a performer, he won't ever age. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah. You know, the mask is huge.

Yeah. Or his head. Sorry, his head. I just call it a mask. His head, I mean. His head, right? Yeah. What's crazy is how they got his head into the Gimp Mask was

like a whole like technological innovation. We just got to be careful how we talk about this. Just in terms of, I know you said mask. Yeah, I know. It is his head. I'm sorry. And then you say it was tough to squeeze in. It's just like we're getting into territory that's,

well, if you were Jack's family, you probably wouldn't enjoy. Yeah. It's like he's got like, we shouldn't say like he's got like a weird like freak head. Like he's got like a giant. Dude, I wouldn't even say that. Yeah. People could sound by that now.

Yeah. People are going to go like, hey, Michael Cassidy and Paul Russ sitting with a Jack hater. Controversial Jack, right? Yeah. Yeah. Talking about how this guy is like a fucking gumball machine. Dude.

With his fucking big ass freak head. What is wrong with you? He's just said to kind of just pump the brakes for a second on the jack stuff. I mean, we can, I want to sing his praises. That's right. Yeah. That's why I'm here.

And watch, you know that he's married to, You know he's married to Leah Romini and you know what she's done with Scientology and stuff. Right. Bring you down. She's going to have your fucking ass, dude. I don't want, I don't want any of that. She's going to come up to you at a friend's wedding and say, where's Natalie?

Well, yeah. Okay. Yeah. She just gave it to his wife and where's Nick Weigar's wife? She's got, she's, look, if anyone comes by to take it to say like, Hey, where's Natalie? I'll produce Natalie. All right.

Produce. Produce. So Natalie is. Yeah. Rage. I gave Wags a ride yesterday and he was like, Hey, stay. Like, he was like, go down the window for a second. And then on the porch, he brought Natalie out on the porch and he was like,

and she waved to me. Yeah. I was like, wait, I have big smiles. Everyone's happy. Yeah. And she gave a wave down to you. Hold on. Stop the car.

I'll produce my wife. He wouldn't bring her out. Would I pick them up this morning? Oh, that's right. Thanks for doing that. I heard that you give Nick a ride to head gum every Friday. He does. Paul isn't always guesting on the show, but he's always like, goes out of his way to

come pick me up and drop me off at head gum for a record. It's just really nice. Friendly Fridays, I call them. I just try to go forward. Yeah. That's so nice when he drops off cookies at my house. Yeah. He drives up to my place with freshly baked cookies.

I know that he's doing the wager thing first. So I don't know. Are you going home and cooking those? And then... You do too much. You do too much for your friends. No, no, no. I mean, you don't even have to, like, the point is, you know, I don't do it for you to talk

about it, but... You don't do Jack's shit for me. Oh. You haven't been getting the eggs? The eggs, Mitch. Yeah. You didn't realize that was Paul? Yeah.

Eggs on my doorstep. See, I see Paul at night, up in all hours of the night, putting the final touches on these. Paint. Every day I open up my door every Friday. I open up my door and there's a fresh set of eggs that, when I open the door, they hatch. And I now realize that's you. That's what the Friendly Friday was about.

You're putting... What the fuck did you... What did you think? They're just magically appearing? You think there's, like, a service that just, like, gives, like, like, where your neighbor's getting eggs that were hatching immediately? Dude, you don't... Oh, here comes the Culligans, man, and then right followed by the chick birther.

Yeah. And then 12 eggs that hatch right on cue, like, Jurassic Park style for me every morning. Man, Paul plans this stuff with such energy and gusto that you're taking it for granted, and that's... That's getting on my... It's okay. ...getting under my skin, man. I'm sorry.

It's insulting them, but it's insulting all of us, honestly. The guy that I... I... That I was wanted to eat the eggs. I was mad that, you know, they were hatching. Do you... Well... I also thought...

I live next door. I should have told you this. I live next door to the Fablemen's. Oh. And... Mrs. Fableman is kind of crazy. She's a little kooky, and she's got that pet monkey. And she has a pet monkey, so I thought that maybe it was Mrs. Fableman.

Because she has an animal. Yeah. Well, you got to start appreciating that and maybe doing something for Paul in return. I'm not going to say what, but... No, no, no, no, no. Friendly Fridays aren't about that. Yeah. Well, that's...

The second thing about Jack in the Box that I heard in Iowa... Look at me trying to steal things back up. Only because I'll delight being able to tell this part. It was like a couple of years before Pulp Fiction came out. My fifth grade teacher was saying, I had been hearing stuff in the news about gross things that were happening at Jack in the Box in the morning on the Today Show. And then at night in the news...

Is this Lauer error? No, this was Gumbel. Oh. The Gumbel era. I said Gumbel, not Gumbel. I thought you said Gumbel. Brian Gumbel. Brian Gumbel.

That's good. And it was going for days. And I remember hearing things, and I still might have mis-remembered it, but our teacher telling us that fecal matter was found in the food. And so when I first moved to... This would have been 12 years after when I moved to LA, I had a gut response of being like, I don't want to try it. And it was only until I was working night shift jobs.

And it was one of the only 24-hour options. And I went there and liked it. To excite it, it is one of those chains that was open late, open all night before that was an expectation. But yes, the fecal... Go on, go on, man. I'm laughing at the idea of a man eating a gumball and going... I know.

That's a weird guy. It's a strange thing to do. Oh, chef's kiss. Mama mia. I never had such a gumball. Oh, I like making it like they make it back in system. Gumball is so much funnier. Honest and also, I don't like making the jokes with it.

No, I liked it. People like the Cheeto forever. When I told you I was eating Cheeto... It was a subpar version of an already done... Back to Shaggy real quick, because he said Cheeto. Have you seen the Cheetos commercial with Shaggy? Oh, no. It's Gaston Kutcher and Mila Kunis, right?

Gaston. What did you say? Gaston Kutcher? Yeah. What did you think I said? I said Gaston Kutcher. The Hellraiser version of Gaston Kutcher. They should let him do the Hellraiser once.

They should. Why not? Like Chris Rock taking part of the soft ranch. Just like, yeah, let him do his own thing. Listen to this. Kutcher takes over Hellraiser. Yep. Each member of the gash, different member of that 70's show.

Yeah. It's perfect. It's airtight. Wilmer Valderama is chatter. Uh-huh. Danny Masterson is butterball. Danny Masterson is definitely... Definitely include him.

Well, be it... Laura Pepper. Lauren Peppers. Lauren Peppers is the lady... The lady? Yes. Lady Centipi, yes. That's her...

That's character's name. I was just going to say the... The thing I wanted to bring about that commercial, that Cheetah's commercial. Shaggy's in the commercial and the whole thing is like they're saying it wasn't me. Like it's the Shaggy thing. And at the end like Shaggy has like the button like appears to himself. It wasn't me. He's like the best actor in the whole commercial.

He's fucking... It's a fucking great performance. Better than Chester Cheeto? He's really good. Chester Cheeto? Chaggy should be an actor. Chester Cheeto? Yeah, his name is...

It's Chester Cheeto, not Chester Cheeto. But I was like, Shaggy's good. He's a good actor. That's awesome. And is it like who's stealing the Cheetos? It wasn't me? Yeah, it was like it wasn't me. But it was like, oh, it's Shaggy.

Yeah, that's great. It's like, oh, that's fun. But he's great. Yeah, I heard Chester to your question about Chester better than him. I think he's a little over the... It's like a little Roger Moore playing Bond in the mid-80s right now. Too much? He's cool.

He's getting new Chester Cheeto. Oh, I thought you meant like the tone of his performance was just a little much Chester Cheeto. That's just like... I think he's in his ages trying to overcompensate with the coolness. But you gotta remember Chester Cheeto... Cheeto. Cheeto.

Uh-huh. I like Chester Cheeto better. I just go back. You gotta start outside the comedy story selling jokes with Jack to famous comedians. And he had that falling out with George Carlin, but he's still here. Yeah, he's signing up there. George Carlin's still here. You can see that in those Chester Cheeto commercials too.

Like you can see that he came up like, you know, earning edge. And it was genuine and authentic. And that's like why we liked it as kids. We could spot a phony. Yeah, for sure. And we knew Chester Cheeto actually came from the comedy store. Yeah. But then you reach a certain point and just like, okay, now what once was edgy and dangerous,

now just feels dated. Yeah. And it feels like, and that's just the nature of comedy. It's the nature of comedy. And then the buying Chester, I imagine he's in, which is like, okay, do then do I stick to it? And then it seemed to old and I hope it maybe revives itself and I stuck with it long enough. Or does it become this thing of you, him chasing it? Well, that's a tricky one, huh?

Cause like then you're just putting yourself in a position where the young new thing shaggy shows up. You're just like playing, playing second fiddle. Yeah. Can I be honest with you? Let someone else, like Hanford, maybe become the new Cheetos guy? Sure. Yeah. Hanford would be great.

I mean, like, you know, it's, it's, I think it's the kind of thing where he could just, just, just do a show. Like he used to be like, I'm just going to have a Vegas residency. That's good. Or you know, honestly, I'm going to go to Branson, Missouri. Yeah. I'm just going to have like. That's genius. Yakov Smirnov has his own theater.

I'm going to have my Chester Cheeto theater and I'm just going to do my show. I'm going to have Tony the Tiger open up. Yeah. For, for the cinnamon toast crunch. Yeah. Guys. Yeah. The chefs will be there.

And I think Quello is his name. Quello. Quello, the cinnamon toast chef. Oh, I'm glad that Quello made it in here. Quello. And you know, the Lucky Charms dude does magic now. Yeah. He does the Vegas thing already.

Yeah. Be a fucking boss. It'd be a great show. Who doesn't like cereal? I mean, it'd be a cool show. It'd be a cool show. I saw him at the magic castle once here in Hollywood. Oh, yeah.

The Lucky Charms one. Yeah. It was right off. It was right after his affair that was really public and. Oh, that scandal. Yeah. It was like, yeah, is he going to, is he going to resurface? Is he going to be in public again?

Yeah. How is it? Yeah. Is he going to, is he going to, it was like CK going back. I think it was CK level canceling. Yeah. Like I still go to lose. To specify the Lucky Charms leprechaun you mean.

Yeah. Yeah. So like. You know, I see Louis CK at the magic castle a lot now too. Yeah. I heard that's the only way he can perform in Los Angeles is doing magic tricks at the magic castle. He's good though.

Yeah. He's really good. He cooks. He busts his ass like he always does. Yeah. He works his ass off. He's going around different magic clubs every night. And the Lucky Charms guy.

I mean. Pass the different comics. Hey, where you going? I'm going to the magic club up the street. Oh, I'm going down the street. Oh, cool. Yeah. The Lucky Charms guy just.

They would pass each other. It seems to be on one street. There's a lead to. Magic alley. Yeah. That's right there. It's like the Boulevard brand of cars. Right.

Ben Affleck was working in Dunkin' Donuts. He saw. I didn't see him. I wanted. I wish I'd. Would have been cool. People said he was funny. He was cracking jokes.

Yeah. It'd be a natural fit for him. I like that he's leaning in. I like Affleck. I like Affleck. Good actor. And is it like a Boston guy? Yeah.

It's funny because when I saw. When I first saw Good Will Hunting, my attitude was like, who are these guys think trying to think they're Boston guys, even though I was like. A 13 year old like dork. But I was like, who are like kind of annoyed me at first. And then like as I got older and watch that movie. I was like, oh, it's like a really, it's really, it's good.

It's a good movie. When did it come out? You will. I wrote this 1997. That sounds right. You might know it. No, that's a late 90s. I want to say 96, 97.

97, I think. Yeah. But now when I rewatch, I, I, I love it. And I love, I think people are too mean to Ben. I think people are too mean to. Ben, there's, I think we're having a benescence. I think Ben is back. People love Ben.

And a genescence to go along with it. Yeah. Yes. She went through the drive through. She ordered something which is very funny. Oh, that's perfect. You ordered something in the drive through. Still journey from the block.

Really cute. And also Wags. What's the movie where you see the reflection of his hog in the. You see it. One hour. One hour. That was me not impersonating. Well, he was about to, he was about to say the time state.

No, it's a good girl. But the only show it in profile, which is a, which is a little bit of a bummer, but it's still like, Hey, he fucking did it. I'll take a profile. Well, look, this would all be great stuff if we're doing. Let's just say that my chin a boy. Hey, you know where that came from? Can I have a mic?

Can I have a mic? Come on, Jay. That's crazy. I'm going to get my fair trick out tonight and go over to the lines room. That's wrong, Jay. Yeah. And instead of a benescence, how about a denim song? Jay.

Crazy. I can't help it. My chins ablaze. All right. Look, we're going to get some fire extinguishers. Jay, that's not even the catchphrase anymore. We've told this story on here. We've told it on here before.

At Handy Mart. You know this story where Jay saw Tim. Oh, we told it off. You'll bag a story. Yeah. And he saw Tim eating like a loaf of bread and he said, Yeah, eat a loaf of bread. Life's a bitch, eh?

I genuinely think I like him because of that forever. That's a very funny thing to say. I like it. Very funny. I'm pro Leno. All right, look, we're going to take a break because we got talking about Jack in the box. We'll be right back with more dough boys.

This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, Mitch, I learned something new about myself recently. I learned I can stick to a bedtime routine. I can go to the bed at bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every day and stick to that because getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because we're always growing and changing, especially in recent years. That's right, Wags.

Therapy is all about deepening your self-awareness and understanding because sometimes we don't know what we want or why we react the way we do until we talk through things. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you are. Wags, I've benefited from therapy in the past. I think that I'm a better person. I feel better if I have anxiety or stress.

It's always good to talk to someone, get the thoughts out there. I think that it's helpful to say what's on your mind and you feel like you've gotten it off your chest and you can go and live your day, if that makes sense. And it's helpful for learning positive coping skills, empowers you to be the best version of yourself, and it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Doughboys today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash Doughboys.

Do it. Hey, everyone. It's the Doughboys. You know, this spring, you need nutritious, convenient meals to energize you for warmer, active days and to keep you on track to reaching your goals. Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door.

You'll save time, eat well, and tackle everything on your to-do list. Too busy to cook this spring with factors, skip the trip to the grocery store, and skip the chopping, prepping, and cleaning up. You can skip all of it, Wags. Skip all of it because factors fresh never frozen meals already in just two minutes, so all you have to do is heat and enjoy, then get back outside and soak up that warmer weather. Looking for calorie-conscious options this spring, Wags?

Try delicious, dietitian-approved, calorie-smart meals with around or less than 550 calories per serving. We offer delicious, flavor-packed options on the menu each week to vid a variety of lifestyles, from keto to calorie-smart, vegan and veggie, and protein plus. Prepared by chefs and approved by dietitians, each meal has all of the ingredients you need to feel satisfied all day long while meeting your goals.

With 34-plus chef-prepared, dietitian-approved, weekly options, there's always something new to try. Plus, you can round out your meal and replenish your snack supply with an assortment of 45-plus add-ons, including breakfast items like egg bites, smoothies, and more Wags. I had a smoothie today. You saw it in studio. Wow.

Tropical fruit smoothie. It was delicious. Wow. Hey, want to cut back on takeout? Get factor instead. Not only is factor cheaper than takeout, but meals are ready faster than restaurant delivery in just two minutes. With factor, you can rest assured you're making a sustainable

choice. We offset 100% of our delivery admissions to your door, source 100% renewable energy for our production sites and offices, and feature sustainably sourced seafood in our meals. Head to factormeals.com slash doughboys50 and use code DOWBOYS50 to get 50% off your first box. That's code DOWBOYS50 at factormeals.com slash DOWBOYS50 to get 50% off your first box.

Do it. Welcome back to DOWBOYS. We're here with Don't Stop Or Will Die talking about Jack in the Box, which was founded in 1951, exists in 21 states, not Iowa apparently, known for their off-kilter ad campaigns featuring Jack Box, who we discussed at length. And you talked about the fecal contamination. There was an E. coli outbreak in 1993 caused by fecal contamination

that killed four children and almost killed a company. Jesus. It was a really fucking horrific food poisoning scare. I didn't. I don't think I knew about that. Yeah. So their whole marketing, they repainted all of their stores and they redid everything to be white because they were like,

okay, white evokes cleanliness. So that was a big part of their rebranding. And all the Jack Box campaigns with the guy, with the big head, and all of those came in the aftermath. Oh, wow. And it was kind of like originally like we're making changes where we're going to get our act together. Wow.

That was what was presented. So you have that effect of being like a sterile thing or something. Yes. It feels very clinical by design. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's fun to go and eat like in a hospital. Right.

Yeah. Best food. Yeah. I grew up with Jack in the Box. And I have a lot of fondness for Jack in the Box. It was a big part of like my, like it was a big reward thing for me. Like it was a big, like I remember going to orchestra practice and they've had two tacos for 90 cents.

So when you say you grew up with it, like you were, like you were with Jack selling jokes at the comedy store sort of thing or you mean the restaurant? No, I didn't come up with Jack. Oh, okay. I grew up with the restaurant. Sorry. I'm not that old.

I know. But when you were doing open mics, you guys would cross paths. When you were doing them, you would. Yeah, I'd run into him, but he'd be like, it'd be like, I'd be there, I'd put my name down and I'd wait for a slot and Jack would just show up and he'd just like walk on stage and no one ever was cool with it. That is awesome though that just like,

just to have somebody like that do a drop in like, Jack's here, Jack's here. I remember that. I remember like I was like 21 and I was like, you know, I had my act, like my hand was shaking. Like I had my act, like my, you know, all the beats written down on notepad paper. Yeah.

And fucking Jack in the box, Jack box walks in there and he goes up there and he just goes up there and I'm like, he's got, this is before like smartphones. So he's got like an old Dell laptop that he brings up on stage with him. Whoa. And he just like doesn't even give a fuck. He just sets it there and he's just got like his act on there

and he's just working it out on his feet. Yeah. Cause he's rushing. He's just crushing. Cause this is right when Jurassic Park, The Lost World came out. And so he's doing like all this Lost World stuff and people are fucking losing it.

They're fucking losing it. I'm laughing cause I'm remembering a lot of this. He's so funny. Yeah, I remember his little tear on Lost World and like, yeah, you carry it around on computer cause he's probably traveling. He's doing shows every night. He's like touring.

He gets an idea. He's just wants to write it down, make sure it's saved. You know, I get it. You never like got to like ask him for advice or anything when you were like, do he stand up to you? So I like, I was one of those things and I probably shouldn't have said anything,

but I was just like next to him at a urinal. This was at like, this was at, this was what, so like the Groundlings Theater weirdly did like an open mic on Sunday night. We don't remember it. They mostly do sketch and improv, but they have like one night where they do like a stand-up open mic and he was there.

And so we're at the urinals and we're next to each other. And so it's like urinals without dividers. So it's already kind of awkward. And I'm next to him. I'm very nervous. I'm so nervous. I can't like pee. Like, you know that feeling of just like,

I like, oh my God, he's like right there. Like I can't pee. But I got to say something. So I'm like, hey man, just like, I'm a, I'm a big fan. Like I just want to know. And he just looks over me and he says, nice cock. That is classic. It sounds like Jack.

Oh my God. And this is maybe, this is maybe now where the story is, but we all know like what his nose is like. Yes. Right. For sure. Did you get a glimpse at any other? Looks exactly like his nose.

Wow. I knew it. I knew it. Long red comb. I knew it. I knew it. And how can you not look? It's red.

But I had to ask. Yeah. His nose is blue. So that makes sense that it is red. You know what? I was wearing three glasses. Yeah. So his face one was red.

Yeah. So it was reversed. Oh yeah. Your color is going to be swip swapped. You should have mentioned that it is, the stand-up show was a 3D. Everyone wears three glasses. Well, and that's, people think 3D tech is so complicated,

but even James Cameron will just tell you, it just reverses blue and red. That's all that it does. It just reverses those colors. That's, if you watch Avatar honestly again, the first one. If you take the glasses off, they're red. The Navi are red.

Nobody listens to me about this. Yeah. Take off your glasses. They're red. I'm sorry. I'm like crying. I'm so upset. No, it's okay.

I had the same thing. Why is that? I won't, but it's an imp, it's an imp. I won't even get into it. Did he do his Lost World Nedry riff while you were there? Yeah. As a whole thing of like, if Nedry was in the Lost World,

it would have gone down a little different. Dude, I've looked for this Lost World chunk online, and I have not found it on YouTube or anything. Like it never made it into the special. No, it was like pre-YouTube. So like, it's like, you maybe would have found something on like an old, like a special thing.

Yeah. They like email you like a fucking link to it. You know, like an old QuickTime file, but you know, they upload it, but it was filmed in 3D. So it's impossible. You can watch it at home. You can't watch it at home.

You can't watch it at home. You can only watch it. Oh, that is so great. Oh my God, my stomach hurts, and I can't breathe. Here's the rest. Jack, it's all... It was long and like a year.

Well, so you grew up eating at the restaurant. I grew up eating there all the time. We're still being pulled under by the rapids. Guys, when you were at the comedy store, you were selling tweets to like, like to Twitter personalities, right? Wasn't that what you... Yeah, that was a big like,

because it was like early Twitter. And so... Was Kutcher a part of them? Richard... Kutcher, I definitely... Kutcher was in there. Yeah, he was on the ground floor. And then Richard,

who's on career enthusiasm, his buddy... Richard Lewis. Richard Lewis, yeah. That you were writing a hunk of his tweets. Yeah, a lot of his tweets. A lot of his tweets, you know. I was thinking when Jack showed up... Can we talk about this?

When he showed up that night. I remember when I saw you... We can talk about it, yeah. You were solid. When you were 21, you were being modest. Yeah, thank you, yeah, thanks. But it was really great.

So the fact that you would feel... I would be so excited if I had Nix Act. Oh, yeah. To be able to do it. 100%. I know what you're talking about. Yes, I know what you're talking about. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good at 21 and then just kind of plateaued there. No, no, no, no. It's gotten deeper. But thank you, that's nice. Nix, that's nice. It's gotten deeper. How did you feel that a lot of your act

was about Jack in the box? So when... Did he see your act? Did he have a reaction on it? Oh, it was glowing, Mr. Weigar. Well, okay, so he actually... I don't know if that episode, I don't think ever actually came out,

but he had me on his podcast to talk about that. Oh. And just because he brings on a lot of people that he's just known from the industry, and it's just stories, just swapping stories. And he brought me on.

I didn't know he was going to bring it up, because I honestly had forgotten that... And he didn't tell you beforehand. He didn't tell me beforehand. It was just kind of like... And I get why he did it that way, because it's good audio, but yeah, he just sort of brought it up

and we talked about it and... Get you up guard. Yeah, it got a little uncomfortable, and I think we both kind of mutually decided afterwards, just like, let's just not release this episode, because I think it's just going to be weird vibes for everyone. Did he remember specific jokes,

or was it just he knew that that act was sort of notorious for... Well, yeah, okay, so I had this one joke. It was actually my closer. Oh, I remember. Yeah, it was two tacos for $0.99. What's next? Four tacos for $1.98.

Yeah. Brutal. That was really controversial. It was controversial. And he just like... The way he brought it up, he was like, you know the price of two tacos, right? I was like, yeah.

Oh, that's how he brought it up. And he's like, yeah, I wonder what the price of four tacos would be like. And I was just like, fuck. Man. Then I was just stuck, right? I was just like cornered. Well, that's Jack's whole thing,

is like make the guest on his podcast, but also like you at the urinal, like get somebody out of their space off guard. That's where his safe spot is. Yeah, sit in the discomfort. Yeah. And that's great for... You know, it's an elephant in the room thing.

It's great for a marketer. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. For you and an ad guy. But as a comedian, that mentality shouldn't be in a comedy club. I mean, he's like a legend. So what am I going to say?

Are we going to give Jack Box fucking notes? Like, I don't know. This guy is, you know... I remember that night you were so... I remember you came in that night. You were like, I just sold this tweet to Kelly Oxford outside of the club. I was like, oh my God, it's so awesome.

That's so great. Yeah, you called us up and we all met at the diner. We hugged you and cried. Yeah, yeah. Oxford, Oxford. He finally got an Oxford. Oxford, he finally got an Oxford.

We had the whole diner chanting there. Yeah, we got... Oh, that's right. All the patrons, the staff. Yeah. When you put in the kitchen, they all came out to Oxford. Oxford, Oxford.

The marketer got an Oxford. Oxford. Well, we did that again, remember, when that Oxford tweet got manually retweeted by Jenny Johnson, high five, we went back to the same diner. Yeah, same diner. And you guys were like,

high five, high five, Margaret got high five. Yeah. But then the way for that, you know, the way for it all to end, the way that night ended... Yeah. ...was just completely different.

It just, you know... Yeah. It was kind of the end of... Of comedy. Comedy. The comedy of that era. Of that era, yeah. Yeah, that was the end of an era.

But these things are cyclical, right? Like, it had to like... That's the way it had to go. Like in hindsight, like, that's what happened. And we're not... You know, yeah. Other cyclists are yet to come. Jack is still on top by a lot of measures.

You know, another way you could look at it, and I think it was kind of around the same time, you could kind of look at that era of comedy ending, is when... when Captain Twaddy... left LA. Uh-huh. Well, I mean...

I just felt like that... We lost a voice. I don't even know where he's at. I don't know where he's at. I thought Captain Twaddy had... I'd heard he was, like, in Austin now, and then I talked to some of my friends in Austin, and they were like,

I haven't seen him. I haven't even heard anything about him. And so, like, there's rumors like he's in Scottsdale, like, just kind of like... There's rumors he's in Omaha. And there was a barbecue place. There's rumors he's... They've renamed Scottsdale Twattsdale

because there's rumors that they've renamed their city. Yeah. Because he's there. Because Captain Twaddy is there. I haven't been able to confirm it. What an influential figure. Yeah. Can I just quickly...

I'm gonna go off for just a second. Yeah, go off. You know how much it pisses me off that if I walked into a bar tonight and said, Oxford, Oxford, why you're gone in Oxford, no one knows what the fuck I'm talking about. Yeah, I know. That's the worst part about an era changing.

Yeah. The old garden comes around to the diner where we used to be beloved. You can say that, Mitch. I think there might still be a couple people who... And even it could be some kids. Yeah. It could be younger kids who actually think that's cool.

Might even be a kid outside the diner looking in kind of like, doesn't have the money to go into the diner yet. His parents don't even know that he's out of the house. Here's you saying that. He looks around. He's like, yeah. Yeah. He's looking for his Oxford.

That's true. He needs his Oxford. He needs that. He'll have his benescence. But Mitch, that's a lot of how you guys crossed paths. It wasn't through improv or theater because you were both kind of competing against each other, trying to get tweets into...

Yeah. I was trying to sell digital shorts out in front of the comedy store. He was selling tweets. We kind of got in each other's way. Because back then you just had to be on the street just like hustle. Yeah. Like it was just like basically like just talking to passersby. Yeah.

Like, hey, you want a tweet? Yeah. And for me, it was tricky because I had to... One of the members of Long Island had to be performing for it to work out for me. Right. Because I just would... It would be a waste of a night.

You know what I mean? Because you had to have one of the members performing with you. Yeah. Yeah. If I was going to sell a digital short, I thought that maybe he'd be walking around with a little flash drive. That is true. That is true.

He would need one of the members if he wanted to sell a digital short to somebody outside the comedy store. So like, you know, like it's that weird thing of like, hey, Larry David, you want to buy a digital short? What does he want? You know, he's not going to want to buy a digital short. Or you know, you know... He was controversial when he did the commercial for digital shorts.

That's right. Is he getting sued for that? I think he is. I think Larry David is getting... I think he is listed as one of the famous... Put your money in digital shorts and now that's completely caved. Collapsed. Yeah.

Yeah. How much is too much? You know what I mean? That's just what you're like. You're endorsing digital shorts. Like, what are we doing? Like, how much is enough? Yeah.

It's a good thing to leave this episode on. Yeah. To wrap things up. Yeah. I'm with you. Rockefeller was asked like, how much is enough? And he said, a little bit more. Yeah.

That's like Tom Brady talking about like, what's your favorite Super Bowl win? He's like the next one. That's right. It's like, there is the... And Jack kind of has that attitude. He's still... We all have that attitude.

If somebody comes in and would say to any of us, you can't do that. We'd immediately think, no, I can. No, I will. I have to do that. Yeah, I have to. There's a couple of days episode on that thought then. Like, one is too much.

And just let's... We can end it here. It was the thing we could think about. Yeah. Um, I just couldn't... Just bring it back to Jack. Just bring it back to Jack Box real quick. So when you're...

Like, I was thinking about that like, legendary, like Lost World. Like, like what he did. Oh, that chunk. Yes. Yes, the Lost World chunk. The Jurassic World dominion comes out. And I hear he's like, working rooms again.

Back to his gravy. I'm like, okay. Oh, rehash. I got it. No, but I get to see his take on Jurassic World. I saw it. It's just all rehash. It's old Lost World chunk.

The old... It's Nedry. What if Nedry was here? And I'm like, yeah, I saw that. And it's like, oh, this is why you don't put out hours. Yeah, exactly. Because you can recycle it a year later. Exactly.

10 years later. He's talking about Nedry with the locusts and like how Nedry would have reacted to the locusts. Yeah. It's the same. It's the same shit. And there's so many other angles you can do. There's so much more like you can do about that movie.

Yeah. And he's just rehashing. And it seems a little barbed because him and Wayne Knight had their own shit. That was a stone's little scandal. That was his own thing. Yeah. Jack was supposed to be Newman and Seinfeld. I don't know if you knew that.

One of his earliest, early career slights. What, with that mask? Oh. Paw? Paw? Jeez. In the episode where Kramer, where George wore that mask. Okay.

Yeah. He's a freak, right? He's a big fucking globe-headed freak. Why don't we just fucking say he's a fucking freak? Why, Greg? I cannot believe you, man. No one likes to look at him. He's fucking disgusting.

He's not. He's a ghoul. I'm not gonna let you tear this, I'm not gonna let you tear this guy apart. He's done some bad stuff, okay? We all know he's done some bad stuff. He's done some bad stuff. You're the worst thing. He praised your dick.

Yeah. You know, he's got a human body and a weird plastic head. It's like a plastic sphere. Why does it have to be weird? It can be- I'll give it to you that it's plastic. I'll give it to you that it's spherical and non-human, maybe, even. Yes.

But saying weird and being derisive about it, I think, is kind of coming from a place of jealousy, if I'm being honest. Do you know what if it pisses me off? Yeah. I did, I was doing like a show. Go off, dude. With my, I had an earlier sketch group in the birthday boys. Oh, the laughter knots.

Yeah. The laughter knots. Yeah. And I was- Yeah, your tagline was, we go back, we go to space and back, laughing. Yeah. Houston, we have a punchline. I remember that.

Yes, that was, yeah. We had a few taglines for the sketch crew. It was all taglines, wasn't it? Yeah. There were a lot of taglines. That's how we would go up on the stage and say, we're the laughter knots. Yeah. Houston, we have punchline.

Yeah. One small laugh for man. One giant chuckle for man kind of. But I remember we were opening for Jack. And I left my hat there. You had to open for Jack's box. That's pretty smart of Jack to get a street crit heavy group like the laughter knots to- Was he just trying to bring in locals?

You guys were probably popular with like kids on campus and stuff? Yeah. Yes. It was- Because Carlin used to do that. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Carlin used to go into a campus and go- And then he would get people to come and he would do shows for them, I think. The way it happened is Tom Arnold gave our name to Jack. And was like, these guys are great. I've seen these guys around the community. I love Tom Arnold, the great guy. Yeah, they're cool. I love Tom.

And so Jack had us open for him for this show. This is actually at the Laugh Factory. Okay. Perfect. The laughter knots at the Laugh Factory. I love it. Yeah. Makes perfect sense.

Makes me want to laugh. Steve O was on the bill. This is before Jack asked. Steve Odenkirk? Steve Odenkirk was on the bill. This is before Jack asked. Yeah. So you can call him just Steve O.

Yeah. You called him just Bob and just Steve O. Yeah. Because I like the- And just Ben. Kung Fu. Yeah. The Thumb.

The Thumb Wars movies. Yeah. And then he also had the Kung Pao. Kung Pao, that's what it was. And this pissed me off is that? Kung Fu spirit. But spoof. I took my hat off and left it backstage and then-

And this was an- Was this an astronaut helmet? No. I took my hat off to put on the astronaut helmet. Right. Because that's part of the laughter knots. That's cool. Yeah.

So you're like in space they can't hear you laugh. Yeah. You took off the helmet. Yeah. And then you put on- I get it. And so- That's the closer.

I go backstage afterwards. And Jack has my fucking hat on. And it's too loose on his head. Yeah. Yeah. So- My hat's too fucking big for Jack. So all this time Wiger's making these comments about Jack's head.

And I'm fucking pissed off. He's saying a double about your head, man. Oh. That's total. And I think he's a freak too. But my hat was loose on his head. He's a freak. He went like this.

He went, watch this. And then the hat went- Yeah, that's why he's the king though, isn't it? Yeah, he's good. He's like not afraid to use his body and use his spherical plastic head. But I don't think he's freakish. Maybe I'm the freak here. Because I'm the only one-

I feel like I'm the only one on Jack's side to be- I don't know. It's just kind of a sad- It feels lonely to be right around here. We can stop defending him. Lonely amongst friends. I feel like we don't- No, you're right.

We don't have to take up- It's good. No, I want you to be honest. He's a complicated guy. He's made complicated words- Cassie's right. That we can appreciate or not appreciate- Cassie's right.

Cassie's right. Yeah. Cassie's right. Well- What? He's right. What is he right about? Oh, you're telling Cassidy he's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were saying to me, Cassidy's right. Cassidy's right. Yeah. He's to the right of you. Can I ask you guys- Cassidy's to your right. You're right.

And I thought you were saying I was right too. But I guess you're saying- No. Oh, you are right. You're right. Can I just ask like a- This is- And I think this is kind of on topic.

Not perfectly on topic, but like kind of on topic is- Go off. What do you think is like- Like who do you think is rounder? Like Jack in the Box? Just taking into totality the person like Jack Box? Or BB-8? Oh, that's the question.

Because they're both not perfectly round. That's true. But they are very round. Like that's like their defining characteristic. But I will say- Uh-huh. For all of Jack's neck and up scenario. Yes.

Yeah. Uh, neck down? Humanoid. Yeah. There's nothing else going on. There's nothing spherical about it. There's not even a tummy down there. Yeah.

No, he's very slender. So BB-8's all orbs. That was like one of those last- When he drops something, he's like, ah, I'm all orbs. Yeah. There's a whole Reddit thread though where you can go down and it seems like he maybe was the original BB-8.

His head. Yeah. Because there's a trailer. Yes. If you look at a trailer. There's a trailer. There's the early trailer. There's a moment.

And then they- I think internally they just decided this is not a good idea. It wasn't like there was a response to the trailer. There was an early- I saw- There was an early trailer that only played before when Mad Max was released in black and white. It played before that.

Dude, I wish I would have seen that. I did see a Q&A with J.J. Abrams though. And J.J. Abrams did say that when he was casting BB-8, they had a blue screen behind like for the auditions. Right. Yeah, naturally. And J.J. Abrams wore 3D glasses. He went to see a 3D movie and he left them on.

Mm-hmm. And so the nose blended in with the backdrop. Oh, of course. Right, of course. The nose was blended because of the red and blue. And so he didn't see the nose. And so he thought it was more spherical than I was. Yeah.

And then obviously you get that thing on set. Hey, J.J., what's wrong? You didn't see the nose. Oh, that's right. Rodney was helping out. Rodney was helping out. Jack knows Rodney from back in the day. Yeah, exactly.

Another person that- That's how I think they were crossing paths because Rodney Dangerfield managed J.J. Abrams and Jack Box. Well, you remember when Rodney Dangerfield had that tweet where he was like, he was like, he was like, hey, I'm the voice of BB-8. And they were like, what does that mean? And then it turned out like he was like, you know,

he would like personify like kind of the beeps and boops that BB-8 would make. Yeah, yeah. Like some of those non-human noises. But that was all Dangerfield. Well, and then everything broke down when a lot of the beeps and boops were recording. Jack Box was made in the bathrooms of Jack in the Boxes

and the beeps and boops were shits or farts or piss sounds. Yeah, yes. Nice cock sped up. And that'd be fine if maybe it would be fine. He'd get away with it if those people who did- he recorded making piss sounds were nobodies. Yeah.

Those were huge, powerful people. Yeah, yeah. And then use- That's crazy, too, to use those sounds. I mean, they speed it up for the movie, obviously, BB-8 is like, you're not hearing like, oh, that's a toilet sound. Yeah, but even the Rodney Dangerfield stuff, which is still in there,

like if you slow down Star Wars instead of- It's like, ugh, ugh, ugh. Oh, if you slow down- It's Ben Schwartz shitting and saying nice cock. If you slow down the beeps. Yes. But Dangerfield is talking about how he gets no respect. Yeah.

And it's just like- Well, I heard another thing with Jack Box when they screen-test them for BB-8 and then the issue was, you know how like the ball rolls? Oh, yeah. Every time it would roll and it would be his face part, he'd go, trying to catch- Right, right.

Oh, like time to breathing, like when you're swimming. Yeah, so I'd be like, ugh, ugh, ugh. But the thing is- And they're like, this could cost us millions of dollars to edit the sound out for a movie. Okay, but here's the thing. Because normally we would just leave the audio- Is that why?

As it is, yeah. Or is that the story the team gave? It might be the story of the team. It might be the story of the team. Is it sounds like for him, then it sounds like they're the bad guys that we can't get over this breathing sound effect. And it sort of gets around the fact

that maybe there was other reasons. Oh, interesting that maybe it was just actually like, he wasn't the right fit, performance-based thing. Or other stuff. And you don't want to get in trouble later because he's been recording, you know, Jennifer Lawrence having diarrhea. Okay, one of the Jack Boxes by the LAX.

Right, yeah. Well, that's a big celebrity stop-over. She talked to you about it. Yeah, on what's going on. Oh, yeah, on the talk show, right? Was that the first question you asked? Yeah. Are you upset that they've been using your shit sound effects

for BB-8? Sorry, your shit sounds. Four sound effects for BB-8. Right, yes. Also, this pissed him off too. Okay. Before they landed on BB-8. For a small period of time,

Nedry was... Nedry was BB-8. Oh, yeah. For a very short period of time. Nedry is the character. Thompson! Well, he played it as Nedry, but it was the actor-wise.

Way night. Way night. It was way night. It was BB-8. But he did it as Nedry. But he did it as Nedry. It was kind of... It was like, you know,

because they cast Arlie Ermey in a bunch of stuff after Full Metal Jacket, and he's basically playing his character from Full Metal Jacket just in a completely unrelated IP. And it's like, he's kind of doing a parody of himself. It was one of those sorts of things. Yeah.

Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, that's how Hollywood works. It's nothing new. Hey, you know what? Make a living. Yep. Whatever you're gonna do to make a living. Make a living after your orchestra.

Rehearsals. You like to get jack-in-the-box? I would get jack-in-the-box. Get two tacos? I would get two tacos. And I kept more... And like, every week I went, I'd get two more tacos.

And so I went two tacos, and four tacos, six tacos, eight tacos. I worked on... It was 198 originally. It was Genesis that bit. I eventually worked my way up to 10 tacos.

I love that bit, by the way. Oh, thank you. That's one of the best closers in stand-up history. I mean, there's some competition for one bit. Which I like for, but... God, I wish I could find that last one. So go ahead.

Go ahead. So I got myself up to 10 tacos. And once I hit 10 tacos, I was like, I just, I can't do any more than this. But that was like, that was like the perfect amount of tacos for me after orchestra practice.

And if you couldn't eat them all, you would shove them in the tuba. The tuba player. Cram them in the top of your bassoon? Yeah. Well, and then he blow like a really low note, and the taco would like fly out, and like...

And land on the conductors. Yeah. Right on the baton. Oh, yes. I see. And well, I see. The tacos fall on my ass. Well, one time,

one time the taco like fell, like right on his score, because you know, like the orchestra could like, you sing tar. The conductor has like their big score with all their notes on it, but the taco landed like right there

and like obscured his score. And he's like, he didn't know how to conduct it. So he just kind of conducting like mariachi music. I went to the show where that happened. Anyway, the orchestra started going, dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, tomatoes and radishes.

Well, that was the other thing. He was conducting us like sing the ingredients of the taco. And don't forget the radishes. Radishes. The most delectable ingredient of the taco. Hard full radishes. Okay, so you and your conductor

would go together to jack in a box because you score where the taco is. You tell your parents to stay at the school and let you go get jacked. Let's see how they bring you back and then your parents will pick you up. I heard pretty much that was it. I heard when the taco fell on the score.

The conductor, you said that you heard him shout this out. I've heard of tar, but taco. Is that true? That is true. When you were in high school, he said that. He said that. I've heard of tar.

Yeah, he'd heard of tar. But tar-co? And then we said, what is tar-co? Oh, probably sponsoring you guys. Oh, yeah. So you would have 10 tacos. Were these all, like, was there a price breaking there at all?

Was it like, you get six for a price? 10 for a... They're all $0.99, but still, like, it's like, and that's more money in, like, the 90s, but still $5 for 10 tacos. It's still like, you know, it's not like crazy amounts. Oh, yeah, you could buy it. Quite a value.

You could go with that money, go to three screenings of cops and robbersons in the 90s. Mitch, did you have a jack-of-the-box where you grew up? No, they also didn't release cops and robbersons in my neck of the woods. They didn't... They didn't want you to see it. They didn't release it in New England.

No, don't get any ideas. But there were no jack-of-the-boxes at all. If you said jack-of-the-box to me as a boy, I'd say, oh, it's a great toy. That's what I would say. Oh, great toy. What a Santa's finest toys. What a Santa's finest toys,

but not something that I would eat. I never... There was no... There were no jack-of-the-boxes at all. So in a... Oh, go ahead. The jack-of-the-box thing? In all truth?

All truth. In first grade ones, they were like, you know, had to draw, like, Santa. We all had to draw Santa in a sleigh. And then people would draw toys. And I'm drawing, like, dollies and trains. And I looked over at the kid next to me, and he'd drawn, like, a Nintendo and Santa's like,

I was like, fucking get with it. Ain't nobody drawn Santa's. Unless it's for a Nintendo ad. This is aesthetically very unappealing. Yeah, it sucks. Nintendo. Santa's not going to bring that. Yeah, the elves can't make that.

Yeah, they're not going to... Santa's not going to bring you that Samus Disrobe moment that you've been praying for, where you get to finish the level in a certain amount of time and see a little something nice. Oh, so why haven't I... It took last Christmas to have this plot hole pointed out to me. If they're an elf,

if there is a real Santa who does make gifts and give those kids out, gives gifts out to kids all over the world, why is there any question of people not believing in Santa? Because to adults, he's like a flesh and blood man as well. Yeah, that's a great point. I think it's the issue is that the existence of Santa would undermine our true God, the almighty dollar.

No, but even the adults in elf, they all have to be like, we got to learn who do you fucking think is bringing gifts every Christmas night? Well, yeah, and in that reality, as a parent, you don't have to sweat it. What are you even questioning this for? I don't know if I believe in Santa, even though once a year he brings me gifts that I don't pay for.

That's a great point. That's a great point. Okay. That's a great point. No, what's I heard today? Who do you think? And also, Sally, we're going to have to edit it out because a lot of our listeners believe in Santa.

Well, if anybody has a disagreement or a hole in what I just said, I would love to hear it. I would love to hear the explanation for why that's not true. You would love to hear it. Right in. Please, please, let us all know. I'm Dita Dick. I'm sorry.

Who do you think is rounder overall? Jackbox or Santa? Santa has like a big round belly. Yeah, I think so. Full of belly. I think maybe Santa. Okay. How about Santa Claus, BB-8, Jack in the Box.

Let's rank him in roundness. I think BB-8 won. Yeah. Santa to Jackbox. Sorry, Jack. What about? I don't think he's in there, baby. Ed Norton before I mentioned Matt Damon in terms of roundiness.

Do you think they're rounder? Ed Norton's career is very, very well rounded. If I had to rank the rounders, I'd go Matt Damon 1, Ed Norton 2. Malkovich 3. And then Malkovich 3. Yeah. Ooh, some real Fomky Jansen and Racer there. She might shoot up to my number one.

Ooh. The Racer. You can give me a real Jack nose if you catch my drift. You're going to give me one of those Metroid. Jack at the year. Your first time, too, was like when you moved here in California that you had Jack in the box. Yeah.

Wow. So yeah, you had a completely different experience, but once I started eating it at nighttime, it became like a real treat at like 12 a.m. or something. We'd go out and get Jack in the box and bring it back to the office or something. I forgot you said that. That was the reason that I initially ate there the first time, too, was it was late. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's a big thing. They have their late night cravings menu. And hey, we got more to discuss about Jack in the box. And hey. So here's what you're going to do. We're going to take a break. We're going to come back. We're going to talk to more Jack in the box.

We're going to get to our fork scores right after this. Hey, you. You craving fresh, delicious, easy meals, try wild grain and get their bake from frozen sourdough breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries delivered right to your door. That's right. Wild grain is the first ever bake from frozen subscription box for sourdough breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries. Unlike typical supermarket bread, wild grain uses a slow fermentation process that's easier

on your belly, lower in sugar and rich in nutrients and antioxidants. Every item bakes from frozen in 25 minutes or less. You'll never run the risk of getting bored with wild grain. They're constantly adding new seasonal and limited time special items to try. Plus for every new member, wild grain donate six meals to the greater Boston Food Bank Wags Boston baby. So you can eat good and do good all at the same time. All you have to do is sign up at wildgrain.com slash dough boys and choose which type of

box you want to receive and how often it's easy to reschedule, skip or cancel. Plus for a limited time you can get $30 off the first box plus free croissants in every box when you go to wildgrain.com slash dough boys to start your subscription. You heard me. Free croissants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash dough boys. That's wildgrain.com slash dough boys or you can use promo code dough boys at checkout. Do it.

Welcome back to dough boys. We are with don't stop or we'll die discussing Jack in the box. And hey, if you're watching on the video feed, something changed. Can you figure it out? Because something's different. Fucking weirds Waldo bullshit. Something's different. It's subtle.

You may not notice it. We look carefully. You can maybe figure it out. Some say it's green, but it's awfully red. Don't look down. Don't look up. Oh, you'll be there. So we're talking about Jack in the box.

I'll speak through my meal real quick. Right now they have the Red Bull infusions and I got myself a strawberry red days Red Bull infusion. Very much just like a fizzy. Fizzy lifting drink. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I got one too. Yeah.

Did you? Yeah, that you guys but a fizzy spirit lifting drink with the Red Bull. Sure. Did you raise up in your place until you started learning that you burp and that lowers you? I was like just like a half inch floating. Oh, I didn't really have to do much to get back down on the ground again. I had that issue too. I feel like the float effect and it might have been a weight thing.

I don't know. I think if I got in the large, maybe I would have floated more towards the ceiling. But yeah, just the medium didn't do it. That medium didn't make me float hardly at all. Maybe my heels came up off the ground. That's it. Yeah. But also here's another issue with it.

It just tastes like Red Bull. Oh, I only took a few sips. Yeah, I couldn't finish it. It was bad. I took a few sips. It was really bad. And I love Red Bull. No, I hate Red Bull.

I wasn't surprised. Somebody leaves it in my car and it's open. I open the door and I smell like a metallic cat piss or something. It's like something that chemically gets in your brain to make you think that you should get away from it. I'm going to stick up for cat piss. Yeah. Oh, that's not a slight on cat piss.

Thank you. Yeah, we all love cat piss. All right, good. Thank you. But Cassidy, you drink a lot of Red Bulls. I drink sugar-free Red Bull. It's one of the gross things that I do. Yes.

It's one of the disgusting things that I do. Hey, I know that it's bad. Do you like the taste? No judgment. I like just because I don't like the smell doesn't mean I judge somebody. And it does smell metallic. It's bad. It's a problem.

It's something that maybe next year, in the new year, I'll wipe out of my system. But yeah, there ain't not to jump on there. You can continue with what you got. But yeah, it just tasted like Red Bull. It wasn't anything beyond. That's the big thing. You hear an infusion is just like, okay, maybe give me more strawberry or something. Make this like a little bit like a little taste of Red Bull.

It just tastes like Red Bull. It tastes like a large Red Bull. Which is like, I don't need that much Red Bull. I considered... I was eating mine at 10 p.m. too. You can just go ahead. Paul, what were you saying? I considered like maybe taking it out and adding water or something to like sort of...

Yeah. I thought maybe that could have... I couldn't taste strawberry. That was my... There was no strawberry taste to it. That's what a lot of the Metz groupies were saying. Broken hearted. Right.

They had to go back. They didn't get chosen that night. Also like the Red Bull flavor is also just maybe... I couldn't taste strawberry. I didn't get my taste of strawberry. But Red Bull flavor is also like an overpowering thing. So like maybe it's just hard to overcome with... I don't know.

Strawberry is a strong damn flavor. Well, we had a friend who probably we don't want to name names, but like we weren't in Vegas with them when this happened. But we heard later a friend of ours went on a trip with three other friends. Sort of like a... This friend is older than us. Okay. And he went with three peers.

They went to Vegas. What if they've got a Red Bull vodka sort of cocktail? Yes. It's one of those things, maybe telephone where I'm hearing more extreme stories than what happened, but I heard it really messed up our friend, Morgan Freeman. Okay. I'll just say his name because it's now weird that we're skidding. But you saw the documentary where he got the vodka and Red Bull and he said, I feel

like I'm getting drunk and electrocuted at the same time. Yes. Okay. How are you going to work through your bucket list when you're six feet underground? Right. Because you got electric, I'm putting that in quotes, because you got electrocuted. Yeah. How is he supposed to work through his bucket list?

When he's on the slab. Yeah. Do you think about that, Mike, when you drink your Red Bulls, do you think, oh, I could have wound up like Morgan Freeman dead for the last 10 years? I mean, I don't want to be six feet under here. I want to be working on my bucket list and not pushing the pencil, marking off bucket list items, not pushing daisies out of the ground. In Las Vegas.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't. Oh, so, uh, here's a tipster for George Bailey. Give Clarence a Red Bull. Yeah. Let's, let's tighten up this movie. Yeah.

We can wrap it up. It's a wonderful life. A little early. You know what set up my chinifier? If George Bailey gave a Red Bull to his dog, he needs a Clarence. That really, everybody with me, get my chin. Chin up, please. His audience has it with him now.

They bring lighters and put it up. This is the comedy and magic store. Because it gives you wings. Wags. That's the, that's why. I understood it. Hey, just because with dough boys, I feel like, uh, it's opportunities to discuss new things that have once touched your palates or listeners.

Sure. What's just so curious? What's your experience with, uh, like Red Bull? Because I feel like it was one of those things we lived through the introduction of. Um, I, I never liked it. I tried it and I was just like, okay, I don't get it. And I've also been such a coffee guy. I got to have my Java that like, I'm just like, I don't need a caffeine substitute.

Yeah. If I want, if I want coffee or I'm sorry, if I want caffeine, even in the afternoon, I'll get myself a cup of Joe. We were going to originally going to call this podcast coffee talk and then Dana got. Then Paul Vaughn then sued you along with Linda Richmond. Linda Richmond also. Yeah. Paul Vaughn.

But you never like, you know, sometimes people don't want to drink coffee at night. You were never like, Hey, I got a last day of school show tonight. I just, I never, like that's, that's an environment where I would have like a full sugar coke or something. I just, I still never really got into Red Bull. But how about yourself? No, I try it. Yeah.

I remember in college on the University of Iowa, where Mike and I met on campus seeing this little like VW bug driving around with a fake Red Bull. I was like, what's this? And then somebody explained it to me and then soap began the, but then I didn't try it until years later. It was put in a drink for me to drink when you were in Vegas with, with your friend, right? With Morgan. With Morgan.

I was there on a separate trip. He was there on his, we did not go there together. Morgan Freeman's kind of. No, but this is just how shit rumors get started that I was there. I was there for a separate thing. He was there for his own thing. He was there with Michael Douglas. Right.

And those guys. Even when you are traveling with Morgan, he's kind of on his own trip. Yeah. That's cool. Different people like to do their. You know, something that I realized when I got the jack in the box, I drank a Diet Coke. Sorry, teaser. I'll get to mine later.

Whoa. But Paul, you are instrumental in switching me to a Coke. We were a Pepsi family and you're drinking a Coke. Wow. We're drinking a, drinking a classic Coke right now. I didn't even know we were going to say that as I was picking up my Coke. Yeah. It was perfect timing.

I was drinking a Diet Coke and I was like, Oh yeah. Cause I grew up Mountain Dew all the way. 100%. Which is probably what led to my Red Bull problem. Oh, that's nice. Red Bull is kind of a Mountain Dew substitute. I know that it's bad for me, but I'm choosing a bad thing. And mom was like a diet Pepsi gal through and through.

Still is. Yeah. My family is a Pepsi family. I would have fucking loved Red Bull if we had had it in fifth and sixth grade. Cause we were always like, you're going to drink a Jolt. Yeah. Oh yeah. Did you get that six pack of Serge?

What are you doing? I'm reaching for something. Oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Gave us last words we heard. Here, I'll do it in front of you. I was going to get a snack.

I'm getting hungry. He's going to eat. It's a podcast about food. That could all of R is a revolver. Anyway, but anyway, so Paul and I started hanging out in college and then when you moved to Los Angeles, then we started having cook. Classic cooks. Oh, thanks buddy.

And now I'm a cook guy. I remember when I went back the first time I was at Dairy Mart and I had a Red Bull for the first time and I remember tasting weird. But I was like, oh, this is like, what the fuck? Oh my God, you're eating an apple again for God's sakes. I'm having a snack. What's a big deal? We're filming.

Oh, we get it. You're the eighth descendant of Johnny Appleseed. How many times do you have to trot this out? Just a proud part of my lineage. To be an eighth descendant of a racist. Okay. Well, I don't know if I'd call him a racist. I mean, it was just sort of like that was how people talked back then.

When you said no apples for white people, you think that's okay? Look, do I think it's okay? I don't know. He was trying to do something. I know his heart was in the right place, but it... Well, you know, I can't be sitting here defending Jack Box and not also defend Johnny Appleseed because the stuff that Jack said is way worse. Yeah, way worse.

So, Johnny, I gotta defend Johnny Appleseed here too. It was a different time. That's a horrible thing to say. It's hard to defend the stuff that he's on record saying. Johnny Appleseed went on record saying like, look, enjoy your apple. And be proud of your lineage, man. What are you gonna do? We're supposed to eat apples, I guess.

Yeah, we're supposed to not eat apples, yeah. But just to do it in front of it. Every time we hang out, I've known you, you bring out an apple and go... Well, this is news to me that you're an apple baby. Remember me? I'm a mirror of the Appleseed gang. And where is Jar Jar, head of view, one generation or two generations? Jar Jar is...

Jar Jar descended from the Appleseed? It's the same family. Yeah. He snatched an apple? He snatched an apple? Yeah, well, Jar Jar liked apples a lot. We know from your video. From Gungan style, yeah.

That's right. But yeah, he's a direct relative. He's further. I mean, it was a long time ago and he got to see Far Far Away, so it was like well before Johnny Appleseed's time. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right, of course.

One of our favorite rounders, Edward Norton, related to Pocahontas, they just found out to you. How about that? Oh, yeah? Related to Pocahontas? He's her dad? Edward Norton is Pocahontas' dad. That guy looks incredible.

That guy looks incredible. This is how I find out? He's upset. He opens up the paper one more time. Hey, what? Someone shows up. Edward Norton is the father of... Edward Norton is the father of...

Once I get my hands on that who dated Pocahontas. John Smith? John Smith. Whatever. And isn't there a John Smith apple? There's a Granny Smith apple. John had to have a Granny. True.

Everybody's got a Granny. Everybody's got one Granny. We all have Granny's. Everybody's got one. Everyone has a single Granny. That'd be funny if a Angatha Christie sort of thing, the big reveal, everybody was gathered. Everybody there has a Granny. That's the connection.

They all have one Granny. One alive Granny, is that true? So it had to have been one of them. Is that true? Everybody got one alive Granny? I got zero Granny's. I got one Granny. I have no Granny's left.

No grandma's. Big bucks, big bucks. No granny's. No Granny's, no Granny's. No Granny's, no Granny's, no Granny's. Big bucks, stop. No grandpa's. No grandpa's.

I tell you, my dad left my mom, my dad, my mom. Yeah, he said broke up. My dad broke up with my mom, about 10 years ago. He said to her, just, hey, I'm not in love. I went out of this marriage. Yeah, I think he's like, this is over. It was kind of, I think, his wording on it. And then I believe he flatlined.

Now, we were laughing hard when you said that before the show started. Yeah. Not laughing at it as I'm like, oh, Mitch has gone too. It was just, you know, it was funny. We cracked up when he said he broke up with you. Yeah. Yeah. And then you said, should I say that again?

And we said no. Yeah, everyone said no. And I did say it anyways. Yeah. What is it, Oedipus? No. Oedipus? Oedipal?

Oedipal? Oedipal? Oedipal. Oedipal, yeah. You're horny for your mom. Oedipal complex. Yeah. No way, dude.

That's my dad's girl. Otherwise, if she wasn't though. That's my dad's girl. But he did leave her. Oh, my God. He broke up with her. My dad broke up with my mom. All right.

Shall we get back into it? Mm-hmm. Welcome back to Doe Boys. I'm going to eat that. Oh, no. But my dad was with me, Wags, when I had Red Bull for the first time. That's wild. And I thought that it was at Dairy Mart.

And I thought it was like a sports drink. Yeah. And I didn't really, I didn't really, but I was like excited to drink any sort of sugar. And I sucked at sports. So I was just excited to be like, yeah, I could drink this. You have to like work it out. Like, you know, like that was.

It felt like it was part of a Powerade kind of family thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which it's not, not really at all. Was it the first like, yeah, the quote unquote energy drink that came after the Gatorade? It was the first one. Yeah, it was the, yeah. So Red Bull and then you have Monster and Rockstar

and yeah, all its derivatives. But Red Bull was the first one. Let's, we got to talk Jack in the box. Here's what I say. What do you mean? We got to talk Jack in the box. Outside of his career. Outside of his career we have to talk about his.

His legacy. His legacy. His food. I got, so here's the thing. I got a lot of tacos as a kid. I went, I'm trying to eat less red meat these days, but I did get the tacos because, you know, I just was like, I gotta, I gotta have them again.

I get two of the, two of the tacos. And if you haven't had them, they have American cheese in them. They were like the least authentic tacos you can get anywhere. They're hard-shelled tacos with American cheese. Oh boy. Um, they're, they're taco sauces. Yeah. We were talking Jack.

Okay. All right. Yeah. I didn't know if you were going to talk about like after the comedy store, Jack would like invite some of the younger comedians and he'd like make a big pasta dinner for everybody. I know if that's what you meant. You said we're going to talk about, you know,

like after the show, he'd like make like a big like thing of, of spaghetti. He'd be like, Hey, come over and we're going to have a spaghetti dinner. We're just going to talk shop. Yeah. We're family. Yeah. We're family.

We're talking about the meal we got. He saw, like he was like, he, cause I remember him being at the store and him being like, like, uh, like, you know, there'd be, there'd be young comics there. And they were just like having like maraschino cherries and like, you know, like olives from the bar. And they're like, he was like, what are you doing? And they're like, Oh, this is dinner.

It's like these, these kids, these kids, they're just kids. But then he's like, I was there once. I remember. Not everybody does remember that. But then he was like, you know what? Come break bread at my house. Come break bread. We'll have a big spaghetti dinner.

And I only got invited once, but I remember it sounds like it wouldn't be taste good, but he would just cook spaghetti with no sauce or butter or anything. And he would wait until they cooled. Yeah. Well, that's why you hear like spaghetti dinner. It's like, Oh man, like spaghetti meatballs or spaghetti marinara or something like, and then you go up there and it was just

plain room temperature pasta. Whole grain spaghetti. Whole grain spaghetti. And Paul and I went the same night and, and, you know, you idolize this guy and I've been trying to stand up for him. But, you know, usually it depends on where, how you're raised, where you're from, whatever. But to eat, you know, you, you put, you roll, you take the fork

and you, you roll up the spaghetti on a spoon, right? That's like a traditional way. Jack goes and that nose disappears into that plate of spaghetti and he spins around the table in a circle. Yeah, like a cotton candy machine kind of thing. Yeah. Until he has it all wrapped around and spoons it up. And that's how he did it, not with a fork and it's like,

Hey, your house, man. Oh, and right before that, we went, Not tonight, fellas. We'll see. Okay. So I remember all this. We were holding up our forks. Yeah.

We picked up our forks and then he went, Not tonight, fellas. We've talked about this before because we, I had the exact same incident. Before? Yeah. We talked about this before. Beijing Dr. Roark.

Fork, forky in. Okay. I had a forky in slip. We had a, we, we talked about this before and, And I remember when he did that, it was like, Oh, but he's doing one of his famous physical comedy bits. And like, I was like laughing the whole room was laughing and he just like stops.

You could hear a pin drop. He's like, is this fucking funny to you? Yeah. And I was like, we thought that was like a joke. So he's like, haha. He's like, no, I'm serious. Is that fucking funny to you? How I eat.

And then just quiet again. And then it was just quiet. Geez. But because. Yeah. So he said to you, Not tonight, fellas. What fucks it up?

Is he saying that beforehand? Yeah. Sounds like celebration or you, Right. Even if you're not laughing at me, We're just enjoying this moment. Yeah. And so for them, him to turn it,

It's just, he's got some, damn it. Her people, her people. Something's going on. Yeah. Her people, her people. And then after that, he just, He put out a plate of maraschino cherries and olives. And you're like, this is the fucking same shit.

Yeah. We had this at the bar. And then you couldn't leave it to, You ate all of them. Can I just, Can I quickly, I'm sorry. Can I just quickly say like,

Some people listening and watching this are like, This doesn't make fucking sense what they're talking about. None of this has made any sense. And I'm like, you weren't there. Yeah. And like, you want, Like you want to hear the behind the scenes stuff all the time. Yeah.

And now we're giving it to you. Welcome to show business. Exactly. Now you're saying, Now you can play it doesn't make sense. This is show business. You wind up at Jack's house at 3 a.m. Yeah.

And you got to eat olives until you can leave his house. And if you didn't want that kind of content, You should have thought about that before you turned it on. Yeah. Yeah. You should have stayed on the prairies of planet Melton. Yeah. Why did you,

Why did you ever step off the prairies of planet Melton? Get on a spaceship and travel here. Why did you ever leave the grungy fields of Melton? Yeah. Just stay there. Stay there harvesting grungy. You don't need to come here. You don't want to be Jack's house at 3 a.m.

Yeah. Well, look at them. They'll get the Melton stuff. They'll get the Melton stuff. I'm not. The other stuff before, I don't know if they'll know all the stuff that we're talking about. Melton stuff.

This is the thing that I remember most vividly about that night is that after we like ate, we're like just stuffed on maraschino cherries and plain pasta and olives. He was like, Okay. Well, I fed you. And not laughing.

And not laughing like trying to like hold in laughter. Melton was cracking a joke. We're like, I don't know if he's just trying to, you know, there's another test. But then we're all like, well, we're going to leave. We're going to, you know,

we're going to, we're going to split. And he's like, wait, I fed you. You got to pay the toll. And he just pointed a litter box. And we were all like, okay, I guess we got to clean his litter box. That's fine.

He's like, no, like I want to watch. Yeah. And we all had to like use the litter box in front of him. Yeah. It was really weird. And we were like, okay. E. coli.

Yeah. E. coli burgers. Yeah. After all that's up. After you went to like, I mean, I don't want to be that Charlie Degas with the strings. Yeah.

Come on. Come on. And then you would, that you like, you would go to leave after you like, shamefully go to leave me like, you're not going to watch the show. He grabbed you.

Yeah. And make you watch every one. He would make you watch every one. With one finger that was part of the, whatever his head mask was. Yeah. Yeah. The fingers are a little.

Well, they're kind of a combination of the flesh or his mask. Whatever the downstairs and nose is made of. I mean, let's just say he's got scissor hands. Yeah. He's got scissor hands.

They're sharp. A combination of the mask and the flesh. Yeah. Which is interesting, because then why wouldn't you just use those for the spaghetti if you have essentially forks for fingers. Right.

This whole time, but you're going to spin around a table, say, not tonight, fellas. You're going to say, not tonight, fellas.

And that voice too. You're going to say, not tonight, fellas. And then spin around a table thing. Well, and I can't talk for women who were there,

but not tonight, fellas. Okay. I wonder how Sarah Silverman felt when he said that. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

you'll have her on. She'll probably bring it up. I don't know. We had her on and we're just like, she didn't bring this up. She didn't talk about it like she didn't mention this at all. Talk about it.

Those here is cool. I bet she will, but. More people should be talking about it. But to be clear, that's not the dinner you're talking about with Jack. You're talking about the individual dinners we all

had for this episode. For the episode. Yes. Okay. Yeah. We thought about those nights when he would invite us up with those pasta dinners. Yeah.

Those delicious pasta dinners. Yeah. So in that case, I got a sourdough Jack meal, large with curly fries, a diet Coke as well. All right. With the curly fries,

I had a curly fry on the ride home. I didn't really fit my chin up. And then that was my thought, Nick. All right. Curly fries. Look, I got quite a few things.

You told me to get the spicy chicken sandwich. So I did, Nick. There was also the clutch sandwich. All right. I wanted to get that. I didn't get the clutch sandwich. I got the clutch sandwich. You got the clutch sandwich.

So you told me to get the spicy chicken sandwich. Well, I know the spicy chicken sandwich. You were like, what do I get in the menu? I was like, get Jack's spicy chicken. The spicy chicken is a lot more elaborate than you think it

would be. It's like in a box. It's kind of, it feels like a plus stop sandwich. And she asked if I want it with cheese. I said, yes, please. I was pleased to the cheese.

And I, and you know what? I liked it. I think the vegetables that Jack in the box are bad. But the sourdough Jack, I thought was the sourdough Jack I enjoyed. I liked the spicy chicken sandwich. I got two tacos because I know that that's the thing to get.

And you know what? They were great. I went to the one on Glendale Boulevard. And it's kind of like a sitting alone up there. I thought it would be disgusting. I was really liking a lot of the stuff that I ate. The curly fries were great. The tacos were good.

The two sandwiches were good. And then I got a Diet Coke. I got that Red Bull. And then should I get into my desserts or should I wait? Let's do the desserts. Oh, yeah. Go for it. I got myself an Oreo shake with a little cherry on top.

Whip cream. And I also got churros. The Oreo shake was great. I didn't eat all this food, by the way. The Oreo shake was great. It's hit the spot. It's as good as any other place. And they're,

I think they actually use real ice cream. I think they make the shakes in-house. And then the churros were good, but they were stuffed with like cinnamon, like a cinnamon. They're not just like churros. They're mini churros. Yes, yeah.

And they have like a cinnamon frosting inside of them. And I didn't like that frosting. Oh, there's a goop inside? There's a goop inside. They don't necessarily goop. An unnecessary goop. Look out, Gwyneth. The reviews are in.

But Jack had like a bunch of the Gwyneth vagina candles around his house too, I remember. Oh, Jack Boxed it. That's right. Yeah. And he was like, my favorite smell. I like to take this long plastic nose and dip it deep into the candle.

This is what I want to whiff. And is everyone silent? Yeah, we're just sitting there silently. Is this funny? Should we laugh? Yeah, right. We're all like kind of half picking up our forks, putting them down again.

We don't want to be admonished again. But that's that dinner. And it took two days before I could work it up for the litter box. Yeah. I was there. Yeah, you were there for a while. I kept driving back for you, man.

Came in a Friday night. Left on a Monday morning. We drove there together and I went right away. It was kind of embarrassing how fast I went. But then you, yeah, I kept driving back. See if you were ready to go. Well. Jack was still there watching you.

By the next morning, I did shit in the litter box. My shit always looks like kitty litter. It's just weird. It's a thing in my family. Right. And so when he comes over and looks, it looks just like there's more kitty litter. Yeah.

God, that's why. So I had to start eating all these different colored food. So look, have your weird brown color that you guys have to your poop. Yeah. Do you have to shame our brown color? No, I just, I've seen it before in toilets. Man, one of these strawberry red bull things.

So there's just being a clear sack that holds your food. Well, you're, this is the thing. You're digested food. You're from here. You're not from Melton. So you have like a different digested food. Yeah. Right.

I didn't grow up with vegetables that were grown in the fields of Melton. Yeah. Oh, and those rolling fields of Melton. Beautiful. I miss them so much. Yeah. I have a postcard, a little holographic postcard

I look at every day in the fridge. Sometimes I wish we could just stay here together. The fields of Melton. Yeah. It's what I wish for. It's what we all wish for. Instead of fighting Katoos wars for him. We've never met him.

Admiral Katoos is misguided. He's misguided. But there was an election, folks. We had our chance. Yeah, we had our chance. We had our chance. And we reelected him. Oh, we could talk about, a whole podcast could be about Katoos.

I know it's a weird thing. The thing with Jack is like, now I'll catch myself watching Wallin or am I use the litter box? I'm like, this is fucked. This is like. You feel like Jack. It's weird. Yeah.

And I can't. I just, I just, I catch myself doing that sometimes. Well, but your cat food comes from the rolling fields of Melton. So you don't have to deal with what Paul had to deal with. And I actually voted for Admiral Katoos. I know. But anyways. Didn't talk to you for six months.

Why are we talking? Well, I was leaving before we started recording. We said, we're not going to talk about Katoos. Because people feel like they have to be on the spot about how they feel about him. Yeah, you brought it up. I'm going to try to be. You brought it up. No, you brought, you brought up Admiral Katoos.

And your guys is listeners. Oh, I can't wait to listen back to hear you for the first time say the word Katoos. I'm, I'm almost positive you started it. And then we just all kind of like, we had to say our takes. So once it gets brought up, it's like, what are we not talking about Katoos? But you know, Jack, I like whatever. Okay. I had chicken nuggets.

Yeah. I'm sorry. Were you? Yeah, that's, no, that's everything I had. Yeah. Great. You had their nuggets. I had their nuggets.

They were delicious. Are they spicy? Here's the thing with their nuggets and the French fries. What I like about them is. I don't know. Spice. That's, that's the first word I thought when I bit on it. I was like, no, it's spicy.

I was like, that doesn't quite get it. Some sort of a dune reaction. It's definitely some form of dune reaction. But that's, I get a lot of Clara dune, Laura, Laura dune. Laura dune? Laura dune. Yeah. And I get a lot of Laura dirt.

But I like the little, whatever that seasoning is on their stuff. It's delicious. On their curly fries as well. And that's what actually just saying, you know, I didn't eat it until I moved to the West coast. It connects in my brain when I bit into it, either because I experienced it first out California or just that flavor makes me think of California. Their seasoned fries are delightful.

And the curly fries are always a highlight. I did get the Clark sandwich. I was going to say this. The best curly fries in fast food. I like Arby's. I like Arby's more. But I don't like that. I like, I think I maybe like Jack in the box more than Arby's curly fries.

I think Arby's are more consistent. I think Arby's also have a better curl. That's probably right. Like, but, you know, because like sometimes you get the jack in the box will be mostly like just like leaving. So I mean, mostly like scraps. But anyway, it's going to say their curly fries are really good. I really like their, their butter, their house sauce, which is their, their ranch.

They have ranch and parentheses. But their buttermilk house sauce is a great dip in sauce for their fries. The Clark sandwich is, here's what I say, it's just a clone. It's just a simulacrum of the Popeyes chicken sandwich of the Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich. And there's no real reason for it to exist. Like I'd rather have gotten that Jack spicy chicken. It really is just that brioche bun, that big old like honkin filet and then pickles and what they call their good, good sauce.

But it's just like that, you know, the exact same sauce that like, like a aioli adjacent sauce that they have at all of these chains. And it was, it's just nothing special. It's not doing anything different. Excuse me. New stand man. Do you have the latest mad magazine in stock? Nope.

How about cracked? Nope. Crazy? Okay. Yeah. And you're with it as your Clark sandwich. Yeah. Perfect way to put it.

Exactly. And then you look back on the new stand guy and it's Alfredi Newman himself. Yep. Always pushing. Always pushing. This guy. I also got the mini tacos in addition to the full size tacos. The mini tacos are fun.

Yeah. Here's the thing. They've never gotten that avocado sauce. You can see them with your eye? Yeah. They're not microscopic. They're small, but they're not like tiny. No mini, but not micro.

They're not micro. No. They should have the micro tacos where you get like kind of a thimble of 1 million tacos. Oh, you've gotten those. You have them? He said, I'm sorry, a thimble. Just a thimble with 1 million tacos inside. Yeah.

So. And then you get the little jeweler's loop and you're like, oh, what am I going to eat here? Uh-huh. This one's first. Yeah. Next is you. And then Mitch is like, can I borrow that jeweler's loop?

I need to jack off. What the f- And I can't do it if I can't look at it. I'm sorry. The miniature jeweler's loop. But then he takes it and he turns it backwards. He can fit inside the frame. I think the mini tacos are fun.

They're really fun snack. They're a fun treat. I think you kind of get too many in an order, which is a weird criticism, but it's like maybe they're just meant for sharing because for one person, I kind of got sick of them by the end. I think they need to figure out a dip in sauce solution because it's supposed to come with an avocado sauce by default. I usually don't end up, they don't end up putting that in there.

And that's how you eat the big tacos with you. It's how you eat the big tacos with you with taco sauce. The taco sauce is decent. It's like a mild sauce, but it's fine. But also it's good to dip in that buttermilk house sauce. But yeah, that's a quality app. And I got a vanilla shake and you know what? They do a good shake there.

They use real ice cream. I like their shakes. All right. I'm on board. Yeah, you said that too. I think they make shakes fresh. I think they make fresh shakes. So that's a big initiative of theirs.

They're real ice cream shakes. That's right. And they promise there's a tiny two flecks of poop in each one, right? Yeah. Yeah, just two though. Exactly two. No less, no more. Yeah.

That's right. Nevertheless, never more. I got, I did get the nuggets of fries. But I also got that cluck. I wanted to get the cluck sandwich. I got the Will Gluck. Oh no. Just smothered in easy A.

Too much easy A. Right. Yeah. Jesus. It's good. It was just too much. Yeah. Right.

It was something on the menu and like somebody ordered something that sounds like it and you got to make it from. Yep. You got to give it to them. Yeah. What are you going to do? What I went back through to complain. I said, this is obviously like a Will Gluck sandwich.

I got easy A all over my pants here. Yeah. Just look at this. You see how much easy A is just all over this. Right. And they said, we're sorry. We're sorry. And I was like, can I talk to my manager?

I don't want to be Karen. Is there somebody in the kitchen? I look back there and they're like, no, no, no, no. The person who made the sandwich left. Sounds weird. I peek back there. It's Will Gluck. Of course.

Dude. What do you even do with that? Furious. What do you even do with that? He's back there. Put cheese sandwiches out. Would he do much easy A? Yeah.

It would be clear. It would be clear. You got fries and nuggets and a Will Gluck sandwich. I wanted a Gluck sandwich. Okay. And then I got the Will, some miscommunication. Okay. So you just went so, did you eat the Gluck sandwich?

I was able to take some easy A off and eat it. Mike, what did you get? Well, guys, I wanted to get that Gluck sandwich and I didn't get it. I didn't want to end up with a Will Gluck sandwich. Sorry, we're laughing because we get warnings on our monitor for how long we've been going. And the one we just got was like, literally a little passive aggressive. I think Emma had to bake that graph. We're getting through this stuff as fast as we can.

Come on. We don't even know how else we can do it. It's the end of a day at the end of a week. Yeah, at the end of an era. Everyone wants to stretch it out as long as possible. No one wants to go home. And no one wants the weekend to begin. The longer this goes, the sooner the weekend starts.

Come on. I did start to feel crazy when we started to talk about Will Gluck. All right. So I got... I felt crazy when I got it. I get easy A. How crazy do you feel? You look back there.

He's making cheese sandwiches. It's dripping with easy A. It's getting down my wrist? Oh my God. Who put this? Will Gluck? Oh, yep. There he is back there. Bye-bye.

So I ordered a jumbo jack with cheese. Like my remake of Annie. I don't know, dude. Let me eat my sandwich. Who the fuck answered that question, you asshole? Did he block at you? He's like, you want a clock? Jack of them.

What a kind of an asshole. Yeah, but you got... Yeah. Well, what I wanted... I wanted to order a jumbo jack sandwich. And what they gave me was a jumbo jack Nicholson sandwich. It had so much easy writer all over it. And it got all over everything.

Hey, don't look at me. They put too much easy writer on it. They put too much... There was too much easy writer on it. Oh, it's going all over the place, Matt. Hey, don't look at me. I was at the Lakers game. That's what he said.

I look back in the kitchen, there's Jack. Hey, it wasn't me. Oh, I thought that was the Lakers game. I thought that was Magic Johnson. I really did get a jumbo jack sandwich, though. After I sent back the jumbo jack Nicholson and said, Hey, there's too much easy writer all over this. I know that you...

And they were like, yeah, we just had a situation with a clock. They knew. And it was good. It's like kind of a fastball cheeseburger. Jack in the box. Kiss the jack. But they fucked up and gave me Jack Nichols. You were so close.

He's giving me the Jack box. I rather did easy writer. And I did the haves-y fries. So you get... They said, do you want curly or straight? I said, can I have both? What's wrong with curly? Why wouldn't you want curly, Billy?

Yeah. The straight fries don't have any gold. Billy, Daniel, Bruno. Why wouldn't you want the curly? And we'll take your gold. Why are you the only one that's not using your performer name? And you're calling us by our real... Well, we love you, Jack.

Sorry. Sorry. Curly. Curly. I got a one-arm pushup. I got it with no onions. It comes with the vegetables. I thought the vegetables were good, Mitch. You said that they were bad. Wow. You said that they were bad.

And that was actually a standout for me. Something that saved the sandwich from being kind of a boring cheeseburger. Like the lettuce and the tomato was fresh for me. Oh, mama. This is a boring cheeseburger. I would just say to Mitch's point, my experience with vegetables at Jack in the Box is mixed, and I honestly feel like one of the best sandwich options as a result

is the ultimate cheeseburger, which has... It's just meat and cheese and condiments. Yeah. And so that you never have to worry about that. It's just meat and cheese. I got the two tacos also. That didn't make the right home. By the time I was home, they were kind of nasty.

That's a bummer. That is a bummer, because I've had them there before, though, and they're fantastic for a 50-cent taco. It's fabulous. And then I went again, actually, on the way here. I'm drinking coffee from there right now, and I had their breakfast croissants egg and sausage thing. That was just kind of an afterthought.

I was like, I wanted to try their coffee, because I didn't get coffee. What did you think? The coffee is fine. It's not McDonald's. I like McDonald's coffee. Yeah, it's good coffee. It's not McDonald's.

Is that your guys' best fast food coffee? Because, hey, that's mine. I think it's mine. Also, Mitch thinks they have the best curly fries. So who has the best coffee? I like McDonald's coffee. I like Dunkin' Coffee. My boy, Ben at Dunkin'.

Yeah, Dunkin' Coffee's good. Yeah. The, you know, among coffee chains, most of the big coffee chains I don't really love. I guess I'd offer coffee bean and tea leaf over like a Starbucks or a Pete's. Two burnt for Starbucks. Taste two burnt for Mitch.

Yeah, I don't like Starbucks. I think Starbucks is too burnt. Hey, I bet that helps when you guys are on the road together. Coffee orders and such. I'll be knocking on Wiger's door. Wake up. Get me my coffee bean. Gotta hit the road, sleepy wigs.

What time is it? Hit the road. It was a blade all night partying. Yeah, this is what happens in opposite world. Dick. Gotcha. Yeah, you walked right into it too. Yeah, opposite world.

That's what happens. You walked right into opposite world. Gotcha. Gotcha. I don't need that. Oxtug. I don't need that. Mini jeweler's loop in opposite world.

Oxtag. Let's get to our final thoughts on Jack in the Box. So here's how this will go. Let's go around, give it a score from zero to five forks. Or give a closing argument on Jack in the Box and a score from zero to five forks. Let's make it quick. Come on.

All right. I mean, we don't have all day in the sweeping plans and forget it. Right. We gave up and started eating a meal. I got hungry. An apple is not a meal. And a snack.

And a bar. Eat a bar. That's a meal now. Apple and a bar. Apple and a bar. It's fine. It's reasonable. I was stacking.

And a water. I was still here. I was still present. Yeah, because you're also a descendant of William Barr. Yeah. Barr Apple Seed. Right. Bill Barr, the attorney general.

Right. Former attorney general. Those two, those were both huge advantages and breaking into podcasting. That's cool that you're on up to that. Hey, Meepo. Meepo all the way, dude. That was a part of the...

I don't care. We were supposed to be ashamed of that. Not ashamed of who I am. Me neither. No. I'm not ashamed of who you guys are. And that's why I'm going to go first with my score. Wow.

Go for it, bitch. Huge. This is huge for me. And this is why I'm going to go first. Jack in the Box was a place that I always thought was good to eat. Wags, when I was a young rambunctious 23-year-old, just setting people's chins ablaze back then for the first time. Right.

Before even UCB, when I was at... When I was watching my first digital shorts over at... Before Palmerston Citrus, my place on Citrus. Wow. I was going to visit it. Oh, you never went. I never went. He went.

I shot a firework. He shot a firework into my house. Yeah. Cassidy shot a firework into my house. Took us hours to get one into the kitchen. We got it into the back door. And then we all cheered. Yeah.

But back then, there was a Jack in the Box right around the corner. And I sometimes would walk through the drive-through without a car. It was very early days. And a lot of times I just... You were neighborhood eccentric. And a lot of times the drive-through, the panel would just go off that they just thought it was a car, I think. And...

I had fun with it then, but when you're an adult, you put away childish things. That's what I thought. Wow. Holy moly. And then the other night, I have Jack in the Box. And maybe it's time to open up that toy chest. Because that's sourdough jackwags. Pretty tasty.

That spicy chicken sandwich. Pretty tasty. Yeah. Time for Santa to open his bag back up to midget boys. You know, I'm a big Santa fan. I still, you know, I believe in the power of Santa. Right. So how many forks?

And the taco... Yeah, move it along. Come on. The tacos I loved, too. The shakes were good. Yeah. There's no way I thought I would put it in the Golden Play Club, but it's getting four forks for me.

Four forks from the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Four forks. It's officially eligible for the Golden Play Club. Wow. Okay. We'll see if that holds up. Four orks. Four.

Four. It reminded me of... I forgot the name of the planet. Melton? Melton. It reminded me of the grains of Melton. You've been here so long. Yeah.

You've always talked about, like, oh, I love my home planet. I'm like, oh, my heart is my home planet. I've been here so long you've forgotten the name of your home planet. I get it, man. I'll never forget my home planet of... What is it again? Melton. I get it again.

I mean, like, Paul and I are from the Midwest now. Maybe we call pop soda now, you know? You shake some of your roots as you adapt to a new planet. But we love... Everybody knows we hold Melton to the highest degree in our hearts. Doritos were called Lennos where we came from. Yeah. I remember that.

Yeah. Honestly, my favorite part of back home... was looking at the package on the outside of the Lennos. And they were... I like Doritos more than Lennos because if you got a bag of Lennos, there was always, like, little whiskers inside. And if you wrote a complaint or called into complaint, they'd be like, those aren't J's.

Yeah. And you'd be like, so they're Mavis'? Well, there'd always be... That's like... There'd sometimes be a Mavis. It like... Hold on a second. Just to be clear.

Uh-huh. These are bags of, like, corn tortilla chips. Prepared by Jay and Mavis. Mavis. Mavis Lennos. It's like a Newman's Zone sort of thing. They're making it. Yeah.

So they're not just called Lennos. There's also the Lennos put them into... Why are you questioning this? No, I know. Are you from Melton? I'm from Melton. I mean, what's going on here? I'm from Melton.

The whiskers are gross and a lot of them aren't J's. Are you questioning whether or not he's from Melton? I just... I don't know. I'm from Melton. I'm from Melton. Well, we can check the brandishment. Well, that's amazing.

The four orcs. Do we have to check the brandishment? Mike, Nick. Yeah. I can go next, too. Yeah, go for it. Hmm. I...

I still don't know what you ate. You're chicken nuggets. Chicken nuggets, my boy. French fries as well. And a Wilcox sandwich. And a Wilcox sandwich. A Wilcox sandwich. Too much easy A.

Easy on the A. Yeah. And this... A little harder on the A. It's also a good thing that our segment is the longest segment we do by the way. I wouldn't say that. Which one? Let's...

We'll get to it. You'll see. Oh. Three and a half orcs. Wow. Good score. Good score. There goes the Golden Play Club.

It's done. All right, Cassarole. What do you think? Your thoughts? No. I think that the cheeseburger was... I had a classic taste. Totally great.

If that had all been at that quality, we'd have a four fork scenario on our hands. The... some of the fries and definitely the tacos did not make the drive back to where I was eating. I could have eaten on site, but it shouldn't be on me. You gotta have some food that'll last the car ride. It wasn't that long of a car ride. It got a little sogs. And sauce can only do so much.

I'm giving it three forks. Three tines. Wow. Three forks, three tines. We're gonna be ballpark buds here. And I think I'm gonna be in the Handholding Club with the Spoon Man because here's the thing. When we originally reviewed Jack in the Box, I went all the way to five forks.

And after having more of it over the years and revisiting it, I do feel like the quality is declined some. Maybe that's partly due to quarantine. I think it's partly due to them leaning into their late night munchies branding. That's been a big part of it. They have their late night munchies cravings meal. Also, they might just be better on Melt-On as well. Could be that.

Yeah. And I think a big... They lack motivation. Right. I think that... They don't open Jack in the Box now until 12 or something. That's a big thing. I think...

But I do think it's kind of declined and I think kind of the general quality of their food has gone down and I think their menu just needs some trims and revision. I know they have some stuff like their Teriyaki Bowl, which has been a staple of their menu for so long and maybe it just sells pretty well or is very profitable, but I still don't quite know why that's on there. You don't think it's setting chins ablaze as much anymore? I don't think so, but I still like it a lot. I still have a lot of fondness for it, a lot of nostalgia.

And for that reason, I'm going to go four forks. Wow. Look at that. Oh, wow. Paul, you were the lowest score. I thought I was going to be the lowest score. Oh, my God. Oh, hey, that was our review of Jack in the Box.

Good. Jack's going to slap me for this one. Yep. He's going to slap you into that litter box again. That's for sure. Hey, it's time for a segment. You know, Mitch, we went to just this past week, we had a pretty crazy incident where we went to AEW Dynamite.

We went to the Kia Forum, shout out to past guest Colt Cabana, who got us in there, got us backstage. But you know, there's a whole kerfluffle about getting into the arena. There was, yes. And there was a whole thing where we had to show our ID and they were like, they were like, your name's on the list and your name doesn't match what's on the list. And there's like interrogating us. It's like TSA, you know, just like get backstage for wrestling show, understand why they have

to have security, but it was just a lot. And they get to the point where they're just like, all right, Mr. Wiger is like, Wiger is like, Mr. Wiger, it says, your ID says Nicholas Wiger and your, it says Nick Wiger and backstage. Like, yeah, I go by Nick, like that go by that professionally, my real name is Nicholas Wiger. And they're like, well, what's your full legal name? What the F?

Yeah. And so I say, so what the F indeed? Because in terms of what's my full legal name, my full name is Nicholas Frank Wiger. And sometimes I go by the F. I go by Frank, which means it's time for another look at this weekend, the hot dog news and our recurring segment, let me be Frank. That's right. Wow. Yeah.

Hot dog simmering the city, great a mile grill, getting greasy and gritty. Toast bun, don't it look pretty? Sucking on a dog like you're sucking on a titty. Cock-a-daisy. Sausages and long bread, rolling on a roller grill, mustard and relish. One bite, it's a different world. Swap dog bites with a girl. Munch on, munch on and jump all night, despite the farts, it'll be all right, that taste.

When the casing has snapped, later that day you'll for sure have to nap as it simmers in the city, like you're sucking on a titty. You ain't nothing but a hot dog, frying all the time. You ain't nothing but a hot dog, frying all the time. You ain't never been a burger and you ain't so long to mind. Well they said you a sandwich, well that was just a lie. Yeah they said you a sandwich, well that was just a lie. You're just a fun around the wiener, so you sure don't qualify.

Frank, I'm gonna grill forever. I'm gonna learn how to fry Frank. I feel it burning together. People will eat me and cry. Frank, I'm gonna make it to heaven. So full it fills me with shame. Frank, I'm gonna grill forever. Frank, you remember my flame.

That was beautiful. That was beautiful, oh my god bravo. Well, whatever happened, if you're any clone of mine, you're looking for some lunch. And Frank's sully would be at the top of that list. Remember kid, a hot dog can't be uneaten. Oh you can chill it, but I'll just regroup on the grill. Semper Frank. The way of the hot dogs has no beginning in them.

The beef is around you and in you. The grill is your home before your birth and after your death. Which comes early from heart disease. Our buns heat in the womb of the oven. Our mustard squirts from the bottle of the French's. The grill gives and the grill takes. Frank's connect all things. Condiments to bun, chili to cheese.

Avadog, the way of Frank's. Why's that gonna give you a shout out? Hey, why's, you guys, that was a tour de force. Why's improvised most of that in our text? The way of Frank's. He did almost all the work on this one. Oh my face, that's so funny. Alright Mitch, so as part of Let Me Be Frank, thank you guys.

Let's go ahead and Google, you go ahead and Google hot dog this. Alright, we don't have a lot of time now. And I will search for it in my preferred search engine, Microsoft Bing. So let's see what's going on. Winter months for hot dogs. It should be interesting to see what comes up. I have Googled hot dog. Alright, here's one I have from Yahoo News.

We are calling Soft. Talk to my partner Bob Hope. He'll tell you that I'm not so micro soft. Here's one from Yahoo News. Deetson Watson has hot dogs on green buns to celebrate Eagles. Go birds, the Philadelphia Eagles. Or I guess at the top of the standings in the National Football League. Green buns?

Green buns. You'd have heard of green bagels. Now how about green buns topped with onions and provolone. And they're giving them out in Philadelphia as of this record. That comes up on my Google list as well. I haven't seen green buns since I watched Gremlins in that. Gremlins ran off into the distance. I was going to say, I haven't seen green buns since I looked up at the Jolly Green Giant.

I saw got a glimpse of his peas. What was that a ball sack? No, let me do that. What was that a ball sack? I like the alt. I think, let's use the alt. I think the alt was good. I'm just going to note for later.

We'll use the alt for applause to read. I like the alt there. Give us a couple of options. Let's mark the alt in the edit. I'll probably use them all. You don't need to edit it. Don't edit it. I think just leave it.

That's fine. I've never edited a thing in my life. Emma confesses, she never learned that part. Wags? Wienermobile openings. Want to drive a huge hot dog across the US? You can drive the Wienermobile. That would stress me out.

I don't like driving big vehicles. I don't like driving in general, but especially driving like a big vehicle where you're going to worry about like a turn or like backing up. That stresses me the fuck out. Would you guys drive the Wienermobile? No, blind spots are plenty. And people are driving crazy around you because they're distracted. Yeah, they want to catch up to like wave at the Wienermobile. I don't even want to drive anything that makes everybody look at the thing that I'm driving.

I don't want attention while I'm driving. And they're disappointed that it's a human driving it. You know what I mean? Not a hot dog. A hot dog. A hot dog. Or Oscar Meyer himself, who kids love and know who that man. Yeah.

What he likes and how he sounds. Oscar Meyer is looking for college graduates to drive its fleet of six Wienermobiles. Fleet of six. You have to be a college graduate. 27 foot long hot dogs on wheels across the country. And what's the purpose of this? Is this just for commercials now? They can't be delivering hot dogs primarily with this method.

I think they might be delivering hot dogs with the Wienermobile. Why do you need to be a college graduate? I don't know. That's bullshit. That's what I was thinking too. It's a weird like, you know, it's the expectations keep like increasing it for any sort of job. Oscar Meyer even fucking driver for Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. Yeah.

You have to have like a class C license or whatever. Class A license. It might be a pedigree thing because Oscar Meyer founded Mensa, didn't he? So he was like the world's founding like history's greatest genius founded Mensa. So he likes an educated fleet. Right. His fleet of six. That seems like a bit of a stretch.

Fleet seems like a lot more than six to me. I concur. I feel like fleet means like a hundred or dozens or something. But if six is a fleet, then I just put a fleet into my toilet. Put six hot dogs, squares of toilet paper. Okay. Got it. Six hot dogs and six squares of toilet paper.

Here's one. Lehigh Acres. So he would be pleased. We know. We know why I do it. Lehigh Acres hot dog guy back in business after Thieves Steel Generator. That's a nice heartwarming story. Nice.

This is from NBC2 in Florida. Oh, thank you. Lehigh Acres hot dog guy. He had his own. He has his own little business. Severiano's hot dogs and more. And he had a little roadside stand and his generator was stolen. And I also like had been shot while working his stand in May.

Jesus. So he was like, he had a long road for recovery, lost his original location, lost his generator. He had been shot with a gun. Been shot with a gun. Yeah. But then he's come back and he's back stronger and the hot dog guy has returned to business. I just always remember here's this quote, God's got my back. So there you go.

It's like God is the bun. He's the hot dog. That's a good way to think of it. God is the bun. That's good. God is my green bun. Yeah. But then I wouldn't say it's necessarily hypocritical, but it's weird then that the Catholic

Church refuses to swap their hosts, communion hosts for little cut up hot dogs. Oh, that's a good point. That's a good point. I thought that that scared us. They're the same shape essentially. Yeah. You could do that. It feels like the sort of thing where it's just sort of like, oh, maybe John Paul is working

towards that and then Benedict gets in there. And it's just like, of course, they're not going to put the cut up hot dogs as the host anymore. Did you do that, Mitch? Did you, your diocese tried it, right? We tried to put in hot dogs. Yeah. You tried to do little slivers of hot dogs instead.

Yeah. And then on Sunday. Yeah. And so many people choked. Yeah. Like 90% of the congregation. Imagine hot dogs are the last supper. I don't think Judas would turn us back on Jesus.

He might have a change of heart. Jesus, get out of town for a while. Hey, end of the pessimistic. Jesus is like, wait, hold on a second, what? Are you flat top from Dick Tracy? Judas was very close to flat top. Judas did it. Judas did it.

Judas did it. Judas did it. We used to love Paul with his little face. Disciple Paul. Used to love, love. One of my favorite meals was chopped up hot dogs and Kraft mac and cheese. Oh yeah, that's fun. That was like my childhood jam.

Yum, yum, yum. Why is my friend Oids from college, who I call big brother Nate. Yes. Lens Falls. That's where he's from. Favorite hot dogs are back on the menu. I just want to give a shout out to my buddy Nate. Wow.

That's very cool. Nice. For the last three years, something has been missing from downtown Lens Falls. Good name for a hot dog lover. Hey, yeah. If you were to be asked where to grab lunch in the time since the COVID-19 pandemic, the list of answers would have been one too short. Like that COVID-19 clarification.

As of this week, no more a small diner space on South Street. The hot dogs are sizzling. The sauce is stirring and the customers are coming in for two with the works in a large fry. New way lunch is back. Wow. That's about that about wraps it up for this edition of Let Me Be Frank. I have one more Mitch. I'll just read this one because I think this is fun.

Oh shit. Hugh Grant says he was stalked by a man in a hot dog costume at Comic Con. I still have nightmares about him. And yeah, he said that's the hot dog guy said that about Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant said Hugh Grant was at a fan event to promote his new movie Dungeons and Dragons on or among thieves. And apparently he was followed by a man in a hot dog costume for three days at Comic Con. He was terrified.

Or toppings in a funnel cake. You know what? It's funny because he says this is part of his quote here. He followed me wherever I went. I couldn't shake him. Do you remember the hot dog? I was terrified. I mean, I've been in four weddings and a funeral, but four hot dogs and a funnel cake.

Four wieners and a Frank girl? Sorry. Yeah. That's the four wieners and a Frank girl is the actual quote I just read it. So yeah. Nine months, nine pieces of relish. Pieces. How many pieces of relish you think in a relish bottle?

Oh, positively 32. These are big pieces. At the minimum, 32. Hot dog. At maximum. Can we do the songs again? I want to see the songs. Unfortunately, no.

We actually know. We love our songs. Well, just privately after we're done recording. Yeah. Okay. Great. We'll do. Yeah.

We'll do. Yeah. Hey, that was Let Me Be Frank. Just like a restaurant about your feedback. Let's go to the feedback. Today we have an email from Jack. Jack writes a couple of weeks ago. Jack.

Uh, guys. Yeah, it's Jack. Holy shit. I don't know if this is Jack Box necessarily. If it is, Jack is hiding it well. Here's the email. His last name is Box. It's Jack Box.

Jack Box is the character's name. The person's name. The real person's name. Yeah. A couple of weeks ago, I went to a restaurant with a very outgoing and funny server and we were chopping it up and generally having a good time. When he asked for our drinks, I ordered a Coke and he returned with a small plate with salt that had been lined up to look like cocaine with a small straw saying, here's that Coke

you ordered. It was very funny, but I was so shocked by the lengths he had gone to in order to make this bit land that he didn't really know what to say. My question is, what is the most memorable or elaborate bit that a server or restaurant worker has done with you? That's too much, I feel like. The bringing back the little plate of white granules with a straw and being like, here's that Coke you ordered.

That feels like that's too much. I would have been laughing with him to that point and then I would have walked back in the kitchen and gotten his ass fired for that shit. If he was holding a glass of Coke behind him, so I didn't get disappointed by the idea of like, okay, now I gotta wait for you to go back to the kitchen and get distracted. Sure, yeah. But if it's like, hey, I got that Coke, ha ha ha, oh no, but here's your actually your Coca-Cola, sir.

I'd like that. Sounds like Jack is describing a server that he didn't know, like they weren't buddies and he was serving them. Yeah. Which is, that's assuming a lot that someone's gonna be chill with a joke about cocaine, I think. As bold as the flavor of Coke. And salt is very bold.

Right. Was it real Coke? And if you snort salt, that would have really hurt you. You're asking if it was real cocaine, a real line of cocaine that he brought to his patron. Yes. He says it's a line of salt. How does he know? He had to rub it on his gums for a little while, probably.

Yeah. He doesn't say how he knows, but I mean he's probably getting a little salt. At first I thought it was like a weird like, yeah, the table thing that was happening. Yeah. I think that's too much. I think that's a bit, you could maybe vocalize to feel like, okay, this is like a rowdy crowd, this is like a bachelor party, or this is a whatever, they're celebrating a 21st birthday. This is the kind of crowd that would appreciate like a little bit of an off-color humor.

Was Jack with his family? What was the problem? He doesn't give any sort of context for who was with him. So that changes it a bit, because if he was with his family, that's very different than like, I'm picturing Jack is with their buddies. I generally like, you know, waiters who bring like levity and go out of their way to bring some fun. And we had one guy, when I lived in Iowa, my family and I went to like a, I'm sort of,

he was like a Perkins or something in our waiter. I remember being really funny. And then when he brought the check out at the end, he was like, oh, I forgot to add this, those french fries you got. Oh, never mind. I'll just take it, keep it off the, I won't go back and add it. You can just have those for free really. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah. And did you see this? And he opened up his shirt and there was just, there's like a muscle hole. But he said, put your, he made my family put our hands in it. Oh my God. And it would make him move. Yeah. Oh, so you were kind of able to like puppeteer his body.

But when you put your hand in there, it was like muscle and bone and tissue. Yeah. And he made everyone in your family do it. That's uncomfortable. Yeah. I thought it was funny. Was he laughing like you were tickling? He would laugh while we were doing it and say, now you are serving.

Now you are serving me. And we were like, okay. Now, now watch who's serving who. Right. Now the served have become the servers. And I remember it was right before we dropped my sister off at college and she decided to skip that first year because it was so unsettling. She was like, I just want to go home.

Yeah. She took a year before she went. Gap year. Life changing. Yeah. Well, in Europe, a gap year is like a normal thing. So maybe this Perkins guy was from Europe. That's probably what it was.

It was probably like he's from Europe. Yeah, he's probably just Europe. He's probably European. I think he was European. I think he was European. Okay, that makes sense then. Yeah, he sounds European. Oh, it was grew.

Oh, it was grew. Oh. It was grew of the Minions franchise. No, the fucking Bug's Tale franchise. The Minions. Come on, buddy. Yeah, why? I know him.

He's your boy. I know. I'm just giving clarity for maybe not everyone knows who grew it. Yeah. Why don't you give some clarity into the allergy cases out there? I wish I could. Should be free for all. Yeah.

Shouldn't have to go to the pharmacy and fork over their hard earned dollars for allergy medication they need. I've never had. But you know, that's how I want to get political. I've never had a. I've never had experience where a waiter has opened up their shirt and had a holler. Open up their shirt and had a hole and told me to put my hand. Yeah.

We should just like real quick. Cassidy, you've ever had like someone with like a waiter with a hole that they asked you to put their hands into? We won. The Bonanza buffet one time. Uh-huh. This wasn't exactly the same thing as yours because it was the buffet. So you just pay and then you'd go and just like do the full like salad bar and soft serve

ice cream and stuff. Yeah. But there was a waiter there that came up and to the table next to us and kind of unbuttoned his like the torso of his shirt and we saw people kind of reaching in. Yeah. And his legs and fingers would be kind of twitching. Okay. Okay.

Got it. Okay. We didn't see. It was like seeing behind that. We didn't see. So did he have a muscle? I think the seat provide. Yeah.

He was kind of like. He was kind of like. He was kind of like. He was kind of like. He was kind of like. He was kind of like. He was kind of like. He was kind of like.

And giggling like you like your guy. Right. That was pretty clear. Yeah. That was pretty clear from each other. You have seen it. You've kind of seen something like that. You can infer that's what was happening.

I've never seen anything close to that. Yeah. My reaction was similar to Mitch's like when you're describing that I was like that's so insane. It sounds made up. Like I don't. I can't imagine that happening in the reality that I know. Well that's what's nice about coming on you.

You said I'm a liar like a two. Well I don't look. I'm not saying. I thought we put this to two things to bed. We don't have to bring it to do with you. People they know he's a liar. Yeah. Love or hate him.

I love him. Anyone in his position would have to lie. That's the job. That's the job. That's the job. I want a liar in charge. I want a liar. I want somebody who can break things and get things done.

I don't know. I mean let's see what else. What other. Katoos. Yeah. I voted for Katoos. Mitch did too. The first time.

I voted for him all four times. And you know if he gets his way he's going to make way for there being fifth term. I know we're going to talk about this. I just didn't know you guys voted for him that many times. I voted for him four times. And I'm about to walk out. But I'm going to say this. I.

He won the fourth one. Right. That's what you think. Yeah. I won the fourth one. Yeah. But that's what you think is that that's who won. Even just because he's in office.

That's who won. I know. I know what the official vote total say. I'm just going to say this. Bring a line of salt. Uh huh. It's a little on my ranking of like jokes. It's a little too much.

It's a little too close to waiting. As far as a wait staff goes. Sure. And I want some a little more chef level if you get my drift. Yeah. Hold the waiting. Yeah. Extra chef please.

Yes. But besides that I'm done. Mitch are you okay? Are you walking on? I think you were right. I think it was. Mitch don't. Come on.

Head to open the kutu thing. You know the kutu thing was just. We can be honest with each other here. Come on. Man. Mitch is leaving for anyone listening to the audio. It's about a dialogue. Come on.

It just walked out. This is how we get to the bottom of these societal issues. Because we're talking about Admiral kutu. Admiral kutu. Like I'm surprised that he's the one. I shouldn't have brought it. No it's not. It's not your fault.

As soon as I said his name. It's not your fault. My answer is going to be like I had we went Nali and I went to a restaurant and the waiter was talking through the desserts and he was like. Like there was one option that was like gluten free and it's like it's like it's gluten free. It's vegan. It's dairy free. It's flavor free.

And I was like that's really funny. Yeah. And he threw in flavor free. I'm just going to. I got to go check on him. I don't want him to like. Cassidy's walking out. I don't want him to hurt anybody.

Cassidy's free. People on the audio feed. Cassidy's standing up and. Walking out of here. We haven't had this happen on the Dope Boys podcast before. We may have lost Emma too. Emma may have walked out. I think Emma walked out remotely.

Because we're not going to get a signal. So it's just me and Paul right now. Hey, with my cat, I don't have to like. Put up a front. I voted for him to like. Yeah, of course you did. Fucking brain in your head. Yeah, of course you have a brain in your head.

Yeah. When you're well. If you vote for Kattu when you're. In your 20s, you have no heart. Yeah. But you don't vote for Kattu. You have no brain. Well, I fully agree with you.

Is everything all right, buddy? I found him. Yeah. I mean, you guys probably walked by that litter box that's sitting out there. He's coming in. Uh-huh. He's out there. Going in the litter box crying.

Jesus. It's like. It's like he came undone. He's crying out of his butt. I can barely describe. He's crying from everywhere. Okay. Well, I can.

Should we wrap it up? Yeah. Why don't we wrap it up? Then we can go check on Mitch. He seems to be reliving his trauma out there. Okay. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants. Go to the worldofchannels.org.

Or, go to www.gmail.com. Or, get the Doughboys double or weekly. Go and you can join the gold in our platinum play club at patreon.com. Also, check out Doughboy's snack back on Spotify live. Still going strong. Hang out and chat with us every Thursday at 8 30 PM Eastern. That is still happening. Listen live on Spotify.

And also, hey, if you guys want to contribute to Admiral Kattu's campaign, you know where to find him. But he could, he could really use your mailbox right now. And I know you get lots of emails asking for this stuff, but these are not bots. These are your friends. Yes. You know from this podcast saying, Kattu needs money. Kattu needs money.

Help him out. Kattu, you could just, just send him some mailbox. He's an empire builder. Yeah. That's what he does. Don't stop or we'll die. You're building an empire of your own. Song of day, pause, song of week podcast, and also your new album, which everyone should

check out. Signature please. Available now. Now, here's the thing. Spotify live, Apple Music, or Spotify rather, Apple Music. Let's say I'm a guy who likes to own music. Is this for sale anywhere? Well, we have a new vinyl out.

You have a new vinyl out. That came out a few months ago that people can get. There are a couple songs from Signature, please. That's rad. And a couple songs from previous releases that are all exclusively lined up on our vinyl biases that came out in November. You can order that. Go to Don't Stop or We'll Die.com for that.

Yeah. Wow. Check that out. And hey, if you are in the LA area, the Lodge Room. Check it out tonight. Tonight, Thursday, the 26th, come party with us at the Lodge Room and the Sloppy Boys and Townland. Wow.

An absolute treat to have you guys here. Thank you. Just two of our favorite people. Two good ones. I was having so much fun until Mitch had to leave. I hope it doesn't end on a sour note. I'm sure it'll be fine. It'll be fine.

He always comes back. He always comes around. It'll be fine. Katu is not going to be there forever. Okay. Well, we'll see. Oh, gosh. We should have let it go.

I should have let it go. It's okay. He gets people upset and they feel they got to get off their chest. I feel bad for loving him. All right. Thank you for having us, honestly. Thank you guys for being here. Just an absolute treat.

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's our pleasure. Sorry. The door seems to be slowly opening. I can't. It's the door. So thank you. Yeah.

The door is slowly opening and they see someone pressing against it. Is it Katu? Is it Katu? Oh, no. Oh, it's Mitch. It's the Spoon Man. Mitch, are you all right? Do you want to come back in here?

We just wrapped things up. Come back in and say goodbye to everybody. Say goodbye. Come on in, man. Let's not end this on a weird note. It looked like you were going through something. It's... Don't be him.

Like... Mitch, for people listening to the audio, Mitch has worked his way back to the studio. He has sat back down in his chair. He stepped over. We got a mousetrap board game. Yeah, he stepped over the mousetrap. Yeah, he set that off. That was pretty funny there for a second.

Yeah. I called up Admiral Katu. You did? Yeah. And he said, don't rat on your friends. Be a little bitch. Get back in there. So...

I'd like to think that I could talk back if I got a call like that, but I don't know, Mitch. I think I'd probably be like you and I'd go... I would, too. Yeah. Yeah. And I finished in the litter box pretty quick. Wow.

Well, I'm glad it all worked out. Hey. Check out Don't Stop or We'll Die. I have a question for you. Two album signatures, please. Was this episode weird? Was it weird? Let us know what you think of your comment in the comments below.

And, hey, until next time for the Spoonbag Bunch of Library Quiger, happy eating. See ya. On the next Doe Boys Double, the Doe Boys Decision Returns. A little early. We messed up the scheduling, okay? Get off our back. Alabama's own molasses boy, Alan McLeod, joins to discuss regional pronunciations of foods with SoCal server dude, Wiger and Mitch.

Who's from... I forget exactly. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Sources for the intro are in the episode description.