Doughboys - Mixt with Ryan Perez

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

Ryan Perez (SNL, The Tonight Show, Mama Needs a Movie) joins the 'boys to discuss movie-going and favorite new releases before a review of Mixt. Plus, the return of the Wiger Challenge.Sources for this week's intro: https://www.bizjournals.com/sanfrancisco/print-edition/2015/07/17/mixt-greens-split-bread-fast-casual-restaurant-qa.htmlhttps://engineering.jhu.edu/magazine/2017/01/eco-entrepreneur-sees-green/#.Y8hZp3bMKnIhttps://www.latimes.com/archives/blogs/daily-dish/story/2010-01-07/salad-spot-mixt-greens-coming-to-downtown-l-ahttps://www.mixt.com/our-story/ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/DOUGHBOYS and get on your way to being your best self.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash Doughboys Media. What's up everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, UberEats. At UberEats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. UberEats' global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options.

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Wow. 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor.

Go ahead and click, or if you're on your phone, use your finger. And click that link. Click that link in the episode description. Social media, rideshare, delivery apps, salad? San Francisco is home to many of the tech companies that have transformed daily life in the 21st century. Most of them founded by terrifying uncanny valley utilitarians and or coked up canceled shitheads.

But among the grams and the lifts and the yelps is another recently founded company with the intentionally misspelled brand name that has come to signal innovation. A fast casual salad outlet founded in 2005 by fine dining veteran Andrew Swallow. Fortunately for Swallow, health conscious San Franciscans would themselves Swallow, the company's veggie heavy chef curated creations. After success in the Bay in 2012, the founders set their sights on national expansion and open outlets in the Southland. Always a challenge with NorCal skeptical SoCal surfer dudes, as well as neighboring Arizona

and recent California expat Mecca, Texas. And much like its Bay Mate Facebook, as its brand grew in success, it dropped the the. In this case, the trailing greens after its four letter moniker. Today with 14 restaurants in three states, this bread averse bowl broker continues to surge in popularity with city dwellers who will pay a premium for farm fresh produce. But it remains to be seen if the salad startup can reach the near ubiquity of similar concepts like sweet grain. Before that matter, the tech companies it shares a home with in the foggy apple.

This week on Doughboys mixed. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Jack in the Boxers, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Jack in the box. Okay. That's from Alan B, who writes, Mitch having jackoff boxers in his mom's house is classic Mitch. Rose SpoonMan at gmail.com.

It's classic. That's classic. It's classic Mitch. The guy's name is Swallow. Yeah. His name is Andrew Swallow. Andrew Swallow. Andrew Swallow.

Going by the restaurant, maybe change it to spit. Look ahead of it. Um, sure. But it's very funny. The food man's name is Swallow. I agree. It's extremely funny, which is why I referenced that in the intro. Um, all right.

His name is Swallow. It's like being a plumber named Plumber, a plumber named Pipe. I want to dress something up top. I have a pillow on my lap. It looks like I'm a middle schooler hiding his boner, but it's just as comfortable. And I figure that, like my mic, I figured it's nice to, it's nice to rest my hands on it. Yeah.

Why not? I'm fucking fat. I just want to hide behind the, it sucks. I feel, I told, I was saying to press, we're recording before the holiday. Can I? Yeah. This is in, this is episodes coming out in January, but recording, this is part of our Christmas, our pre-Christmas binge of recordings.

I'm like, I'm like post Christmas way going into Christmas, which I'm saying. Boy. That's scary. Yeah. Uh, anyway. Well, you need your strength to steer the sleigh. Gotta eat up. I want to give a shout out, a shout out.

I want to say rest in peace to a family member, uh, Tisto, Tisto Mackie passed away, 90 years old, great guy. Wow. Great guy. RIP. Accomplished, accomplished life. Great. Awesome dude.

Rest in peace to Tisto. RIP. Yeah. Uh, anyway, Nick, I have an idea. Okay. Great. Okay. Tell me what you think of this.

By the way, you mentioned that you referenced the pillow you have on your lap. That is because we are back in studio and we are at minimum rolling video on this. That's right. We're at minimum video TBD, but I am still torn on it. Here's my idea. Yeah. Okay. Uh, a delivery app called hot bag.

I mean, look at this. You can choose to have it delivered in a hot bag. You see, you know what I'm saying here? Like the bag is insulated. The bag is hot. Yeah. It's like a heating bag. So is, so like the thing that they deliver pizzas in?

Yeah. Don't they do that already? I mean, like Domino's does, but like the whole thing is called hot bag, but then here's the thing. Yeah. You can switch it to cold bag. If you, if you, uh, if you have something cold to get delivered. Yeah.

Like a, a salad or ice cream or something. Ice cream. Sushi. There's a button in there. You push cold bag. The bag is cold. What if you're getting like, let's say like, okay, I'm kind of getting, you know, uh, I'm, I'm working from a Japanese place and I got some, I got some miso soup coming.

But I also got, you know, some, some tuna rolls. I'm glad you said that. You know what? Third option, hot bag, cold bag. Yeah. Both. The hot goes in the hot. Uh-huh.

The cold goes in the cold. My question is, why does the user need to choose the option? Like can't that just be like, can't they just figure out that hot stuff goes in the hot bag on their own? I think that it's fun that the user gets to turn it on or off. Maybe turning it on maybe costs a little bit or something. I don't know. Hmm.

I think if it's an upcharge, then people are just like, why do I use this over other delivery apps? Because all the delivery apps don't have the hot bag. That's the point. Yeah. It could work. I don't know if I call it hot bag. Why not?

Sounds kind of gross. All right. All right. Sure. Hot bag, cold bag. I just, I don't know if I'd make bag part of it. I do like, I do like the idea of a hot, like an advancement in delivery. Yes.

That's what this is all about. By the way, someone online was like, when we were talking about separate, the, the Mick DLT. Yes. When it's like, you separate the hot from the hot. Right. Jason Alexander is in the commercial and the cold from the cold. And people were like, I think that was actually the Arch Deluxe.

No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. Arch Deluxe is a different sandwich. No, it wasn't. We're talking about. Yeah, no. That was their attempt at like a grown up sandwich. Yes.

That came later. It came as one piece, one unit. Stop. Model boxes. Toasting white existed. People, people were like, toasting white didn't exist. I didn't make up a bread. I think if you're going to come and correct someone online, make sure you're right.

Yeah. Like, like that's like, if you're, if you come at the King. If you come for the dough boys, you better come correct. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Best not miss.

Anyways, Wags, howdy ho! Just Boo Nation. We have a friend in here. We sure do. We have a, we have a friend recording and I'm still kind of embarrassed doing the Heidi Ho. Maybe because we're in person again. We'll also Rachele's here who we're, we don't know super well.

She's recording with us. Does not like the podcast so far. No. I hate it. Howdy ho! To Boo Nation. Here's a Emma hit him with a little drop. The drop comes in from across the country.

My billboard chart number one song. Are you ready, Wags? Oh, I'm extremely ready. Hold on to your butt. Looking like shit. Feeling like shit. Like shit. Why is that?

Like shit. Wow. Looking like shit. Oh, wow. Looking like feeling like, looking like feeling like shit. Right. Oh, not alone. Everything I've done has been a hit, but I feel like shit.

I liked the flip. I took one chip. I bit my lip. I want to eat my shit. Why? I feel so sick. Okay! I feel so sick.

I feel so sick. Sick of it. My stomach hurts. My bottom hurts. My throat hurts. My throat hurts. My throat hurts. I do not feel good.

I feel bad. All the time. My shit. Is it because of the podcast? Yeah! We'll never know. And you know what? I can't do this shit.

This fucking sucks. This sucks. I quit it. Money. That's kind of a good... I don't think you have to listen to the podcast. If you just listen to that song. Yeah.

Basically. It covers everything. It covers all of it. If you'd made it after this episode, could have thrown in some hot bags. You're laughing at that? It's the only thing Rachelle's like so far. That is beautiful. It's a weird thing where I'm like, I said all that stuff, but then when someone's playing

it back to me, it's like insulting. It's a weird thing where I'm like, I said all that stuff, but then when someone's playing it back to me, it's like insulting. You know what I'm saying? No, I get it. It's like, hey, remember you said this stuff? I'm like, yeah, but you shouldn't do that. They're saying you're a dumb idiot who says shit like that all the time.

I don't know if that was implying that heavily. Look at this fucking moron. He's saying stupid shit. It says, so frequently, I can string it together into a supercut to rhythm. Hi, everyone. I don't have anything to say about this drop, except that it was a stupid shit. Drop, except that it was a lot of fun to make Chris Finke, pronounced Finke. He always puts that in parentheses, even though we know him now.

He's the drop prince. Is that what we call them? I can't remember what his title is. Drop Baron. I think it was drop prince. Drop prince. PS, sometimes you say that you think the podcast is bad. I disagree.

It is actually very good. Wow. How about that? Thanks, Finke. That's nice. Thank you, Finke. Yeah, he's wrong. But you know what?

You know, look, we had a fight at the end of the year on the Evan Susser episode. But you know what? Yeah. You know why the podcast has lasted even through all of this? Why's that? We care about each other. We do care about each other. That's true.

We're not like these other podcast hosts who fucking hate each other. No, we don't actually hate each other. We like each other. I do care about you. Yeah, I care about you, too. It's true. Mitch, I love you. Mitch is my friend and I love him.

I wish we weren't in person. I love you, too, Wags. Wow. That is the truth. We care about each other. We fight a lot. Both very frustrating men in different ways. A big truck cut me off on the way here.

Oh, my God. And it had a wreath on like this huge truck and had a little wreath on the front of the thing, which I thought was funny. That it's like, I'm a big asshole, but I love Santa. Very funny to me. We got to introduce our guest. We sure do. Very, very excited to have him in studio.

A writer, director, and actor from SNL in the Tonight Show and his podcast, Mama Needs a Movie. Ryan Perez is back. Hi, Ryan. Hey, guys. We're back in the studio. Back in the studio. I'm looking right at you.

This is like 3D. It's like 3D. It's like 3D. It's like the way of water. Yeah. It's like the way of water. Family is your fortress. And you guys are a family.

We're all here. Okay. Perez, thank you so much for coming back on the show. It's been too long. In fact, we were looking up when your last appearance was, and this was, we had an episode that has now become infamous because recently, we're recording in December. This episode's coming out in the new year, but on a recent December episode, Mitch and I talked about Christmas cookies and we both kind of settled on, oh, maybe Christmas isn't

like much of, isn't like a cookie holiday. And then we eventually came around to like, I guess it is by default, but it's like, I don't think a Christmas cookie is a big thing. But we had done an episode together in the Doe Boys Double, the 12 Days of Christmas Cookies with you as our guest. Yes. I'm curious, your thoughts, do you think of Christmas as a cookie holiday? Well, first of all, I'm surprised this is the controversy that emerged from that episode

because we also talked about Christmas movies. So no one cares about that. They don't give a shit. But the Christmas cookies, I guess it's more of a cookie holiday. Fucking goblins who listen to the show. The cookie, is it a cookie holiday? It's more of a cookie holiday, let's say, than Halloween. Yeah, one on one.

Like when you're at a Halloween party and someone brings out a tray of little cookies, you're like, what the fuck, what the fuck is this? But as a Christmas, it's as much, I guess that's probably the most appropriate thing on Christmas, right? More so than a cake. I guess. Or a pie. Maybe a pie.

I do think a pie, though. I guess there are designated Christmas cookies and people bake cookies around the holiday. I think people are like, you leave cookies out for Santa, but you also leave carrots out for Rudolph and you don't consider Christmas a carrot holiday. Does that translate? I think they're going to be mad about that. I'll say this, it's probably either a candy holiday or a cookie holiday. And because Halloween is the candy holiday, let's call it a cookie holiday.

I think so. I think that's what we kind of came around to, it's a cookie holiday, but we were wrong. We were wrong. It's fine. But you know. But I think people came out as a little too hot. Yeah. They were mad.

They were mad. They didn't go in the hot bag. Or the cold bag, as it were. They belong in the cold bag. I also have an idea for this idea, or a pitch on this, is make it like a yonder thing. Like when you go see like a disease show or something, make you put the cell phone in the bag. I love this idea.

Yeah. And you got to solve a riddle or something to get your food out. Yeah. Oh, wow. This is why, I mean, this is why. I mean, that's fun. Yeah. This is why he's present.

I also thought you were going to say, you're going to go see a Kanye show. Exactly. Well, there they make him put the phone in the bag. Ryan, you have a podcast, Muppet needs a movie, and it would be very tricky to go to Kanye concert now, huh? I don't think you'd get away with it. I think you'd get in trouble. Yeah.

Someone would see you there and be like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Me specifically, you're saying? Are you thinking of doing it? No, I'm just saying. I went and it was fine. Nobody's... And he rocked, man.

He freaking rocked. Kanye, he's eccentric, but oh, he still got it. Yeah. He separates the art from the artist. I mean, I don't, but you can do that. Sure. Sure. As a pres, you have this podcast, Muppet needs a movie.

And I think it's appropriate that you have a film podcast because I think I've told you this before. You have the best taste in cinema of anyone I know. Oh, thanks, man. You have such a comprehensive knowledge of all of film. You have really good things, like you like amazing things. You're always watching amazing things to the point where when we disagree on something, I feel stupid.

Yeah, we said this before. Like, I'm probably wrong. I'm gonna say we've said this. We've said this thing to each other. Like, if Perez likes something or dislikes something and I feel the opposite, I probably am incorrect. I never want to see, I never want to sneak on over to your letterbox and see like a movie I loved and then like Perez is giving it two stars or a star and a half or worse yet.

I think in general. The dreaded no rating. I think in general, in life, you don't want to be going on letterbox if you value your life and time and the idea that you only get one, the letterbox is not a place to spend time. But yeah, no rating though is something I only give, I give that to every new movie and for that's for a very specific reason, which is that when you start to know people that make movies, there's no proper way to give ratings.

Yes, yes, yeah. You can't, I can't give one friend's movie four and another five and then I can't give every friend's movie five because that's just not true. I would appreciate it if you gave Tomorrow War five and you would log on and give Tomorrow War five stars. I might do that. Just for you though, just for you because I like you. But I also thought it was a genuine five star film.

Yes, I never liked, and then when I disagree with you, I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what happened with, like maybe it wasn't feeling well during, I try to figure out what was, but in reality, probably you just a better taste in movies, no more about movies. Here's the thing, it's like also, as far as our crew of people that we are friends with, associate with, maybe you would say. Basically the three of us plus koalas. The three of us plus koalas, you got Bug Main, who's on the podcast is crazy, knows

a ton about film. He really does. Like, we know people who know a lot about film and I still would say you're Perez, you're up there as a guy who knows more than anyone that I know. Right. I don't know about that, but I'll have that reputation, sure. To give yourself a little self analysis, do you think, you know, like we've talked about this wives before, like, like Ebert didn't like big, like fun, dumb, block, like, right?

He didn't like like Starship Troopers or is it Cisco? I forget which one didn't like Starship Troopers. I don't, I don't think of Ebert as being like that. I mean, like, I think both of them kind of had some mainstream taste. I mean, I think they both like put Ebert way less than us. I don't. Maybe way less than us. Oh, shit.

I think combined, you guys way more significantly more than Cisco, but maybe the individual who can say. Yeah. It'd be fun if you're like, I think you guys combined like at least two Cisco, at least two Ebers. Cisco, but Cisco and Ebert, like both put like, there's something about Mary on their top 10 list. Yeah.

These guys, they, I think they were, they were pretty favorable towards mainstream cinema in my memory. Yeah. Yeah. But is it? All right. Anyways, so. They pick in the city, by the way.

That was, that was his favorite. That was Cisco's favorite. Cisco's number one of the year. Yeah. The last one he made before he died. Yeah. Wow. I think I was more on Cisco's, when I, when I watch old reviews, I think I was more

on Cisco's side, but I'm not, I mean, they both were good, obviously. Paris, do you have any, do you have any movies that you're like, like, oh, I don't really like like this genre or do you have any weak spots where you're like, I don't, I like a, I'm never going to kind of like this. You know, do you like, I know you don't love horror, right? You're not like a huge horror. I'm not. I like horror movies.

It's just not, there's so many people that are such horror, you're included, you're such a horror fan. And the more I go through life, I meet people that are so devoted to horror that I realize that even if I started today, it would take me years to catch up to where some people are. Yeah. Certain things like martial arts, I don't know, there's actually a ton of stuff. There's a lot, I have a ton of blind spots and if you go, if you count all of international

cinema, there's a lot, you know, out there that I've, yeah, that I've not seen. That means we don't know shit at all, because we know way less than you do. I wonder what you're going to think of Avatar. It's the week of Avatar. This is the, yeah, this is, and this is the unfortunate timing of this particular record is we are pre-way of water. This is, this is, this will maybe be the last episode recorded before a way of water. Yeah.

It will be released. Yeah. And so. A couple of doubles. A couple of doubles. Well, last mainline episode recording pre-way, pre-experiencing Pandora. And I wonder what we're all going to think of it, I guess. I mean, I'm very excited for it.

People also were questioning that the other day, too, of our like of Avatar, which is just in the new world. It's like every, if you like something, it's a take and if you, or like, it's not even a take. It's like, you're liking this for this reason or you're not liking a movie for the other, for no reason. Everyone thinks it's cynical. Everyone thinks it's motivated.

There's, or it's bad faith. And it's just like, I don't know, people fucking like and dislike different things. Someone tweeted at me like, Mitch likes Avatar, but like, it's because he's like a cynical grump. I'm like, so I like something. What are you talking about? It makes me cynical grump. It doesn't make sense.

Yeah. People need to settle down. I think that like every single movie being liked or disliked, or whether it's, whether it's Tar or Avatar, but like it, like it, whether it's Vertigo or the new best film of all time, Jean-Dylan Man, Ventois, Keducomers, Quatre Ves, Bruxelles. Right. Of course. Whatever your, whatever your taste in films are, if you like it, like it.

Yeah. Wags and I know that as well. Yeah. But Billy Crystal, are you listening? Avatar. If you're going to host the Oscars, be a great mad TV sketch. That's what you give me. I'm a great mad TV sketch.

That's what they were always doing matchups. All right. Gump fiction. The triple X files. I guess you're right. That was their whole thing. Babe watch. The, the already laying sketch.

That's good. Was he dressed up as a pig? Yeah. The story tells on, on Stern, I won't try to retell, but like. He was snorting Coke like through the pig nose. Yeah. Through the pig nose. Yeah.

Really, just really dark. Um. Man, heady days. Mad TV. That's some, that's some Daryl Hammond stuff from mad TV. I was the most fucked up as an Alcantara man. I had a phone call with him once. Lovely man.

Yeah. I'm always snorting Coke through a pig nose. We don't have a choice. So what? Okay. So like, I do want to get to this, uh, this restaurant we're, we're going to talk about because it's the episode, but I'm like, well, looking back on 2022 and film, I know it's not over yet, but do you have like any, any picks and pans, any faves?

Oh, from this year, you know, I'm right behind where, where I would usually be at this. Right. And maybe in the next couple of weeks, I'll catch up from this year. The one that I really liked. It's a film, you know, who I saw it with. Maine himself. Wow. Uh, we saw the film 3000 years of longing together.

Oh, hell yeah. And we walked out saying that's the best film of the year. As a fucking great picture. Yeah. Yeah. I liked it as well. I was disheartened by the, um, somewhat ambivalent, uh, audience reaction to the movie. Fucking bombed.

It's a beautiful film. Gorgeous. That's great. And, uh, I, I don't know, I haven't seen a ton. I like the Ron Howard movie 13 lives. That's a good movie. It's probably his best movie since Apollo 13. And I tell you, for comedy, the best comedy of the year is probably, um, The Civil Dead.

That was the one I really liked. Oh, that's great. That's Clay Tatum and, um, Whitmer Thomas and, wow. Yeah. That was great. The Power of Violence guys. They made a film that is just, uh, I think that film's extraordinary. I think they, so often when, if you know people even a little bit that make a film,

you go to it kind of dreading like, oh boy, is this going to not be great. Yes. And that movie, I walked out, um, so encouraged. Yeah. I was like, I want to go make it my own film. I was smiling walking out of that. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know if you've seen it yet. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Um, so I went out, um, uh, Mitch, you get adjusted a little, what it, what, uh, Richel, what do you call this thing?

The cover of the mic? The windscreen? Uh, it's, uh, technically a pop filter, a pop filter, just your pop filters coming off the mic. What are you talking about? The, the, this part. Oh, oh yeah, you're right. Yes.

Um, sorry, I didn't know it was happening. Have you got a fable country yet, Perez? Well, I've been to the fableman's. Yes. Yes. I've seen the fableman's, I've seen it twice. I talked about that on the, this show, mom needs a movie that I co-host with my, my friend, Dan Riemann.

We talked about that with our friend, Danny Joanik. Wow. And, uh, uh, the fableman's is a, is a odd movie. It's, um, where I fell on that movie, I don't know how you guys, you saw it, right? I haven't seen it yet. Oh, I saw it. I really enjoyed it and it came in kind of like, all right. Oh really?

Like it came in kind of with the attitude of like Spielberg making an autobiographical movie about making movies. All right. It's going to be self-indulgent. And then I watched it. I was like, that was great. I think there's so much to like it. It's great.

I would say that in general, I think this is in general, like when, this is very much the Hollywood style now is when you go into like a meeting, someone will say, well, what's your personal connection to a story that you can tell us personally? 100%. And I feel like that's a movie of this era. He made his, his personal connection movie. Yeah. But I prefer the movies where the, I prefer his movies and everyone's movies where the

personal connection is more coded. So my general reaction was that like, I like a catch me if you can or a B.T. or something more than, more than a Fableman's, but there's a lot to love in that movie. Yeah. Some great scenes in Fableman. Speaking of B.T. Does he make a cameo at all in the movie? Does Bruce the shark appear at all?

They show up logs? Look, I don't want to spoil anything, but someone may be phoning home at a certain point. There is a scene on the beach that takes place during a thing. It's not a giveaway. There's a big scene that takes place on a ditch day, which is truly about, it's the most important thing in the movie is a ditch day sequence. If you've seen the movie, you know how important ditch day is. I'm excited to see this ditch day and it's on the beach.

And it's on the beach. So there's a little bit of a joys and joys. Oh, shout out. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't, I've watched probably about 40 movies this year and you probably hit, you're over a hundred.

Mark is my guess, right? Yeah. I'm over a hundred. You've, you've, I noticed that you, this year you saw a ton of new movies. You've been out to the movies all the time. Well, so Natalie loves going to the movies. And she goes more than me. But yeah, we've been going basically at least once a week.

I love going out to the theater. And, you know, I used to have issues with claustrophobia in movie theaters. And really? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I've talked about this on the podcast before. Wait, is this because of the people next to you or the space itself? It's just the feeling like it's like I get the same feeling like if I was on an airplane where I kind of like get panicky, like I feel like I'm trapped.

I'm in an enclosed space, which I know is not logical. But, you know, whatever you're fucking, is this fear come after very dark, but did it come after like theater shootings? No, it wasn't like a theater shooting thing. Okay. Yeah, because I just want to let you know, like most people are probably afraid of you. If that helps at all.

A theater shooter is going to walk in and I'm fucking out of here. Go wash off this Joker makeup. So I had a so get a job. Contribute to society. So the, yeah, I used to have that issue and I kind of like got over it as I kind of was dealing with my anxiety in general a little bit better. But I've noticed post pandemic when movie theaters have been open before. I know it's stupid to say post pandemic, but you know what I mean?

Like, I'm just like, oh, this feel, I have the complete opposite feeling now. Now it feels like I'm escaping like, you know, the fucking cell that is my home. I'm like, oh, I'm out and about. I get to see the movies. So I've been low. I've been loving going to the theaters. I'll say this to the claustrophobia thing. Sadly, probably not that big of an issue with movies these days.

You're, I mean, like, if you're worried about other people, you're probably in there a lot of the time with no one else in the theater with you, besides Avatar, which will be, it was, it was let, I mean, like, here's the thing. I've seen some, some PAC movies. I saw Top Gun Maverick, I think opening weekend. It's like a couple of times. Um, so I've been in some back theaters, but it was never about like crowds. It was never about other people.

It was more just about the feeling of like, this is an enclosure. And again, that maybe doesn't make sense if you've, unless you've experienced it, but I think that when you read a biographies of people, it's very common. The movie theaters seem to be a setting for panic attacks. Like Steve Martin has a notorious story about how having a, he got high and went and saw a movie and had a big panic attack there. And Brian Wilson also had a, I think he had like a psychotic break in a movie theater one time.

And so I think there's, I think there's something to the overwhelming nature of the sound and the image and the darkness of the room. People underrated as a, as how strange of a place it is to be. They walk in and they think like, oh, it's just like room like any other, but it's a, it's a, it's a magical room. But there's, there's something to that. Like that, that you may, it's a, I sit on the aisle. That's what I do.

If I feel, if I don't feel comfortable. I was an aisle guy for a while. I've gotten a little bit closer to the center now. Maybe we'll cut this, but I went and saw a night of cups with a woman. I was dating. Oh, don't cut this night of cups for with a woman. I was dating and like 45 minutes into the movie, she was like, we got to go and we walked outside and she was crying and she was like,

we shouldn't see each other anymore. Oh wow. It was like a, and I was like, did the movie do this? I don't know what the fuck when it happened. I don't know what, we're still friends, by the way. But you never got closure on what happened? Not really, no. But I don't know what, if it was, what was happening on screen that is,

she might have had a, yeah, reaction to the movie. It's like a very, it's like a very, it's like an LA kind of movie. Was it your idea to see it? Yeah, of course. It was not her idea to go. I mean, like, I'm the loser who's like, let's go see Night of Cups. So was she saying we shouldn't see each other anymore because you suggested this movie that made it give her an emotional trauma?

No, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably like other reasons. Like, you know, I'm like a 40 year old child. Yeah, it was just like we're eating like three hot dogs. That's the issue. There's nothing like going, like getting into a fight and then going into a movie.

I can still remember the one I went and actually Ann, who I host the show with, we used to date many years ago and we went to, we got in a big fight and we went to see Unstoppable and I remember every minute of Unstoppable being angry, looking at the training, sad, looking at the train and then... I've told this story before, but during Silence, Martin Scorsese's Silence, I was really hungry and I was on a date for the movie Silence and Nick knows this and I told the woman I was with, I was like, I got to go to the bathroom and I went and I got a hot dog and ate it very quickly because my stomach

was rumbling during Silence and the movie is quiet. So like during the movie, you just heard like... I was like, she can fucking hear my stomach rumbling. Yeah, and so you said you had to go to the bathroom and then you went and you speed ate a hot dog. You came back smelling like hot dogs. She thought you took a big like fucking sticky hot dog shit. I mean, she heard the rumbling, maybe she thought it was like the spirit,

the Holy Spirit is completely moving throughout the Japanese Christians. They are persecuted. I should have just been like, the bathroom stunk like hot dogs. I don't know what the fuck's going on in there. Yeah, I love going to the cinema. Let's have this conversation. You're an A-list member. I'm an A-list member.

What did you like? What's your film? I mean, this is a film where I think we disagree a little bit. My favorite film, the movie I saw this year was Tar. I fucking absolutely love Tar. Can't get enough of Tar. You know Lydia Tar all the time. You're a Tar Head.

I'm a big Tar Head. Yeah, yeah. I was less of a Tar fan, but I completely respect it. I completely respect the respect for Tar. Yeah, love Tar. Yeah. Loved what I see recently. I saw-

I got the Tar screener the other day. Oh, okay. I may see another big screen if he can, but be a good screener. I saw the Inspection recently, really like the Inspection. What's that? It's like an autobiographical film. The director, I think his name is Elegance Breton, but it's like about like, you know, he was like a homeless guy.

He was kicked out of his house by his homophobic mom, and he goes and joins the Marines under Don't Ask Don't Tell. Oh, yeah. And it's like a really well-made personal story. And also it's like the challenge of, you know, it's like, if you've got, after Full Metal Jacket, I think the blank check guys have talked about this, after Full Metal Jacket, it's like every boot camp

makes you think of Full Metal Jacket. It makes you think of Arlee Ermey. So they're like, it's a boot camp movie. It's like, how do you address that? And it's a completely different take on it. It feels completely like removed from it. Oh, that's great. But yeah, it's really well-made.

It's really personal. I like that one. Fucking love Top Gun Maverick, man. Love Top Gun. Love that Maverick. Yeah. I felt that. Did I tell you?

I saw, we saw Top Gun Maverick and the movie ended. And the guy, like sitting in the row behind us, turns to his friend says, some of the best movies I've ever seen in my life. That's awesome. Immediately. It was just like top five all time. That was fucking awesome.

Hell yeah. You know? Come on. Yeah. I felt bad telling, like I was like, I feel bad telling that story about this person who was crying at the reaction of Night of Cups. But then I realized this person,

their dog also bit my dick. And she made like a big comedy video out of it. Wait, she made a video about that? Yeah. That was the thing you told us in confidence. And Prez, I think you were on this text chain. But I think- Yeah, I know the story for sure.

You remember the night this happened? A dog bit my dick and it bled. Yes. So here's the thing. Mitch both gives you not enough information and too much information all the time. So when we found out about this, we found out because Mitch sent a group text

and he just sent the sentence, a dog bit my dick. And then no follow up for four hours. We're like, what are you talking about? I was dealing with my fucking dog bit and dick. We did assume you had died. We just assumed that you were bleeding out somewhere at a kennel.

Pit bull, not his dick off. You fucking bled to death. It's horrific. Here's the crazy thing is that it was the dog bit my bear dick. This is the crazier part about it is like I was- But like your new dick. My new dick. Everyone's like, yeah, he's got a bear dick.

Look at him. I got a cub dick. But it bit my nude penis. Yes. And it drew blood. It did draw blood. And then we did a secret Santa of people who were on text chains together.

And you sent me a picture of the dog with a thing. I said, I'm sorry, Mitch. Yeah, I went to like a Walgreens and had a poster made. The woman who's great. A great body great person. I was like, what the fuck? Like why? And she was like, I think she thought it was her Kong toy.

Which is like a thing like this. That's a compliment, dude. They're like this big and filled with peanut butter. Right. Which to be fair, there was peanut butter on my dick. Yeah. Anyway, I thought you'd never tell the story in the podcast. So here it is out there.

I got the dog bit my dick. A dog Mitch's dick. You've done this show for like seven years and that's never been a story. It's never come up. I don't think I ever. I don't think I ever told the world that the dog bit my dick. Did I?

Who knows? No, you've never told that. I know you've never told the story in the podcast because I thought you never would. Yeah. I thought you're kind of embarrassed by it. I am slight. I mean, it's slightly embarrassed.

Well, your feelings have healed. Even if your dick hasn't healed. That is, that's what I use as an excuse now. Like what's wrong, Mitch? I'm like a dog bit my dick a long time ago. I heard after the dog bit your dick that he went and put himself down. It was support animal. Yeah.

It was the most support for her. She later was like, my dog's breath smells worse now. That's foul. Uh, my dick doesn't smell worse than a dog's breath. For God's sakes. We knew you were joking. Look, we can talk about this all day, but we got to talk about mixed. So let's take a break.

Everyone think about a bitch's dick being bitten by a dog. My question is, what tastes better, my dick? Or if you're a dog, does my dick taste better than mixed? I would say probably yes. We'll find out right after this. We'll be back with more dough boys. This show is brought to you by better help. You know, Mitch, I learned something new about myself recently.

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Welcome back to DOBOYS, we are here with our guest Ryan Perez, discussing MIXT, which was founded in San Francisco in 2005, formerly MIXT Greens and has locations in California, Arizona, and Texas. This is doing a weird thing for me because I'm like, wait, I remember MIXT Greens, I think. Yeah, I remember it too. It's not a Mandela effect. It was MIXT Greens.

It was MIXT Greens, but I'm like, did I ever go to MIXT Greens? Because MIXT seemed new to me when I went there recently. I was doing walks with Jack and Susser. My walks with Jack and Susser. It is funny. Coming this fall, they're walking by walks with Jack and Susser. It feels like an hour-long NBC drama.

Yeah, no one watches. Both those guys that worked great for them both lost weight. Me, I got bigger during these walks. That's muscle, dude. We would stop and eat at MIXT. Yes. Every so often, sweet, thin, and MIXT were kind of our two go-to spots. Yeah, which I gotta say, sweet, thin, and MIXT,

both very close to Head Gum Studios, might be reviewing them pretty often. Yeah, we might be on sweet, thin, 18 by the end of the year. My thought on MIXT was like, I wanted to go to sweet, thin, more. So I'll say that. Sure, yeah, more fun. I'll just, I'll say what I said to you up top, wise when we got, while we were eating our salads.

Great. I've never tasted lettuce more in my life. Yeah. What's kind of my thought about MIXT is like, I'm tasting like every bit of the lettuce leaf. I like, I've never, I've never to this degree tasted what lettuce tastes like before MIXT. I'm eating, there's so much fucking lettuce.

Yeah. In every one of these fucking bowls, that even if you have a gallon of salad dressing, you're gonna be just tasting, you're gonna be chewing on lettuce like a fucking cow. Yeah. I think if I was going to customize my order, I would ask for an extra dressing because it's aggressively

lettuce-y. It's a lot, a lot of just raw greens, which is fine, but it's like, I felt like I was eating for 40 minutes continuously, just like chewing the whole time. Doesn't, that lettuce, it's like if you found like, like MIXT greens in a field or something, they taste like, I feel like I'm, like I truly have never tasted salad in this. I'm not saying it's a good thing.

I'm just saying it's like, it's like get, like going to the grocery store and getting a MIXT green fucking bin. Sure, yeah. And then putting some toppings on it. It's tasted like grocery store salad. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah, it's too, it's too, it's not, not very good. That's my guess though is what, I don't know what,

I don't know what they're, how they source their product, but my guess is they're getting just like bags and bins of, of you know, mescaline greens or whatever and romaine, and they're just tossing them in a bowl. I could use some mescaline to get through that. Presum, curious your take on salads. Are you a salad guy? Are you a bowl man?

I enjoy a salad. I mean, like everybody who's like, you know, struggling to maintain a healthy weight. I try to incorporate salads into my diet. Right. I'm reminded of David Lynch. Have you ever heard David Lynch talk about almost directing Return of the Jedi?

No. He tells a story. You can look this up, but he tells a story where he says, I went to visit George Lucas up in, up at his ranch. And we got in his convertible and he took us to a restaurant up in Northern California where, and it's not that I don't like salad, but that's all they had there. And then he talks about how he says,

I didn't, I didn't want to direct it because it had wookies or whatever, but that's how I feel about it is I, it's not that I don't like it. I do. I do enjoy a salad. I just like an option of another thing. Yeah. I feel like Lynch would, why wouldn't he like, wookies are kind of strange.

I feel like he would, you know what I mean? Yeah. That was a deal breaker for him, apparently. I think when he meant Ewoks, because, because I think he meant Ewoks. Actually, I think about it. But yeah, even though I try to be like a health conscious person, but actually that's not true.

I don't know. No one cares about what my diet, I don't know. Sure they do. Spinning out, thinking about it. But mixed, I, to tell you, I never, when you guys proposed mixed, not only had I never eaten in mixed, I had never heard of mixed before. So that shows you how key, I'm not really plugged into the salad world in Los Angeles. It's fairly new on the scene in SoCal.

It's like within the past five years. It's very big in the Bay Area. In fact, that's where I had it the first time, the first couple of times. So it was just a situation where we were up there for, probably for a fucking do a show or some shit. And it was just like, hey, that's the closest. Oh, with me, you're saying. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Close to pseudo healthy option to the hotel. I was wondering, I was like, are you going on a vacation up North and it makes sense, it was just for dough boys. Dough boys outing. We used to go up to San Francisco just for funsies. We'd go to the Bay Area.

I mean, that's a, that's a, that's a nice little trip. You can make that drive, but. It seems like such a bummer that a great food city. Great food city. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. It's just, but, but you, I find myself especially on tour making those compromises. Where I'm like, well, shit. I want to get the fun thing or whatever.

Exactly. Yeah. We got to go to, what was the shitty San Francisco place that the burger place we ate at and we're like, this sucks. Oh, they got mad at us. And they were fucking people enraged. They got so mad. Called Tasty Burger or something.

Yeah, it was, it was tasty. It was Tasty Burger. Yeah. They're like, Tasty Burger is great. You got a review. You come to San Francisco. Went up there. It was like, I guess.

This place fucking sucks. This is like a worse Shake Shack and Shake Shack is not even that good anymore. Yeah. It's fucking dumb. And then people were, they were all just like so pissed off at us. And then we were like, are you all like Silicon Valley? I think they were just like Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley people are just, I've never met a smart one.

I've never met a single smart person that worked in that world. Anyone who's interesting, any good filmmaker that goes and works in that world, they always come back like years later and they're like, I'm working in AI or something. They don't know anything. I mean, it's just before you go to, your brain dies there. I agree. 100%.

But now people are like, we're actually very smart. Yeah, I know. Everybody else thinks you're smart. I don't think you're smart. What do you think about that? We make Twitter run. I don't give a shit. Sucks.

Sucks. Yeah. Fucking awful. But Tasty Burger was bad. Mix. Wait, now I'm wondering, and maybe Emma can chime in. Is Tasty Burger the one in Boston? Or is that a different one?

Tasty Burger is the one in Boston. Oh, it is the one in Boston. I'm trying to find the San Francisco one. Oh my God, I'm going to get so roasted, Emma. Yeah, I feel like I'm going to be fucking... I was going to yell at you, but I was waiting till I had the right facts to yell at you and I don't have them yet. Oh, fuck, I'm going to get in so much trouble.

Check the Doughboys wiki. Probably if a node probably arcades somewhere. That's like me being like, yeah, Regina. Regina, that place sucks. Just forgetting Regina. To be fair, I didn't eat a Tasty Burger too much. That place more came about after you'd left Boston, right? This is you.

You did this intentionally. I didn't do that intentionally. I thought it was Tasty Burger. You're trying to get me in trouble with Boston. I corrected. If I didn't, if I wanted to get you in trouble, I wouldn't have corrected you. I wouldn't have chimed in and said like,

I'm not sure it is Tasty Burger. That's a good point. Yeah. No, I was like, I was trying to have you back. To be clear, Tasty Burger is great. Tasty Burger is great. We liked Tasty Burger a lot. I'll fucking review Tasty Burger when we go to Boston.

Not going to happen. Okay. Why? You're vetoing it? Every time you come to Boston, I want you to stay longer and you don't want to stay. What does that have to do with whether or not we review Tasty Burger?

I want to give you the Boston. If you come, you're going to have the Boston experience. We can have the Boston experience and store review Tasty Burger for the podcast. I got to eat on the local chain. It was one part of the Quincy tour. I didn't get you down to Hell's Neck. What does that have to do with what I'm saying?

I'm just saying, we got to do more of a tour. I got to get you to do, you got to try a bar pizza. We're going to do the bar pizza run. You got to try some beef, some North Shore beef. Super Duper Burger. Super Duper Burger. That's the one.

Oh my God, and the name is way worse than Tasty Burger. Sucks. Super Duper Burger. That sucks. Thank you, Emma. We love Super Duper Burger and mixed up in San Francisco. Those are our favorite restaurants. The Doughboys shouldn't insult them.

Shut up. I work in Silicon Valley. What do you do on Twitter? You know the bird that I make sure the bird is on the home page? Cool, I guess. I make a quarter million dollars a year. What the fuck are you talking about? So mixed up, I've been a few times and it's down here in LA.

The big thing is there's a lot of these places, at least in LA. I don't think there's a lot of these places all over the country, but I think if you live in an LA, a New York City, San Francisco, Washington, D.C. This genre, there's a place, the last time I worked in New York, there was a place Dig or Dig In in New York, which is very, very similar. That's like, I need, I want a healthy lunch, it's a bowl, blah, blah, blah, and every fucking TV writer in the world has a joke about how we did a lot of Dig In and mixed it, it's like, you know, everybody has, yeah.

It's the thing that does still get me mad, probably because of my time at The Simpsons, where I worked at The Simpsons and people, like I would go to restaurants that were good, and then people would be like, we hate this. You know, like I go once a week to Clementine, great restaurant, and then people would be like, we're sick of Clementine. I'm like, well, you're sick of everything. You get a thing every day.

You get a new thing every day. We get our lease to deliver to us every day, and sometimes we don't like it. And this is exactly how Perez sounded, is what they sound like. And then also on top of that, it's the worst thing. I love a lot of The Simpsons guys, don't get me wrong. Selman, we love you. We're going to see you tomorrow night. Love you Selman.

Father time. A lot of, a lot of, a lot of, Jesus. I just spilled. This is for the video. This is an exciting video. I just knocked my headgum water bottle off. Thank God that was a bottle with a cap on it. Yes, thank God.

I'd have been a catastrophe. Water would have been everywhere. So I just want to say this. You guys shooting at 4K? Is that 4K for show? Can we slow that down? Can we show the spill? That's DR.

Should I ship headgum a sippy cup for you guys? I'm just, I'm just. You know what's funny is that. Refastening the bottle. I'm rescuing back on the bottle after every sip. So someone, someone that like one of our listeners early on sent you a no spill cup. Yeah. You never used it.

No, I did use it. I spilled it immediately. Oh, that's right. You did. I was like, that sounds like a wager to me. And you know what? That thing was fucking dribbling all over your table. Yeah.

That same record. Not the only thing that's dribbling all over the table. Um, I, uh, you have a dog bite. Um, I, it, it drew blood. I, there was. Yeah, I know. You've never, you don't think you'll see that ever in your life. Um.

Your first blood, not me. You did spill. It was like a marvel. It was like a, like a Thanos. It's like the unspillable cup. And then you were like, do you should knock it over immediately? Um, but I just want to point this out. You, before this, before the recording started,

there, uh, uh, uh, a laptop table was offered up. Yes. And you said, Hey, let me see that laptop table. I think that'd be good for the show. I'll put my thing on there, but you didn't like the impression. And then, uh, I don't think it sounds like me, but fine. Then you, then you hit the laptop table and you make your drinks spill. Yeah, I know.

You complicated things. It's too complicated. I think it's still a net positive. Why is your, why is your water bottle sitting next to you on the couch? Like it's a friend. It's just put on a table. But it's, this is like, it's right here now. But then you, but you knocked it over.

But he's got, but he's got to handle an iPad. He's got to read some materials and everything. He's got, he don't mentally has two hands. You know him. He's playing some sort of fucking Marvel snack or that stupid fucking thing. Fucking Wiger's probably on snoot on the whole recording, man. Oh, every person I've talked to that like you've worked for, they've like, Wiger is great.

He's like a machine. I'll go over and, uh, you know, he'll be writing a script and like texting people and playing video games all at once. Like, uh, you're like, uh, the, uh, uh, what is, what's the minority report? Minority report. Yeah. Like you're, you're moving all the. It's true.

Wiger is a talented man. Yeah. Why are you, you know, you don't get enough. I've said Mitch, I've said complimentary things about you, Mitch. Wiger, you're a talented man. I've worked with you a couple of times and you're very, you're, you're, you're a, you're a world-class writer. Thank you buddy.

You're a world-class writer. You really, I wish I had your, I wish I had your focus, your ability. He doesn't like to do it as much anymore. That's, that, that. I'm lazy. Fucking lazy. Work sucks. Got a gift.

I cried and told him that he should do it more than like the last episode we did. And I was like, yeah. No, I mean, like it's like. He's open to soul. Yeah. It's, I think it's, it's, it's kind of a, you know, it developed more of a work to live as opposed to live to work attitude. Oh, so just to address it.

Yeah. We had a friend in the hospital who we thought was dying. Yes. That's a big, that was a big part of the energy. Which I can now safely say, since because he's seen like everything is okay. Yes. Thank God. Thank God.

Thank God. Um, but, but. I was affecting all of us. Um, anyway, uh, uh, mixed is going back to the Simpsons writers thing, thing of it all. I don't think it mixed is good. And I complained about it even today. And I think that honestly, it makes me like other bowl and sandwich places more, which you guys know, Mendocino, Mendocino farms working at Funny or Die.

That was the thing you got a lot. The lot over at the lot where the birthday boys wrote, uh, one of our seasons of the show there as well. Exactly. And, uh, Terrence Malick used to be his old haunt. Terrence Malick used to be there. We talked actually me and a friend, uh, a couple of friends met him one day. That's right.

I remember this. And, uh, we said, we worked at Funny or Die. And he said, oh, Will's place. Oh, I just love Zoolander. When is Will gonna do Zoolander too? He's a big Zoolander fan. That's great. And also one time he worked, there was a restaurant on the lot.

There was a, he, uh, uh, it was called, uh, Gary Arabia. Yes. You've probably talked about that restaurant. But one day we went in and he had a camera on the table and he was just shooting his pasta. And I think he was doing a camera test with the, just, it's probably for night of cups. He's probably shooting the night of cups. Tell Mitch not to see it and look out for that dog.

Anyway, what you were talking about, uh, the, uh. There's a shot at, there's a shot of a pasta on a table and night of cups. It just makes you like dispersed into tears. So moving. Someone's, someone's delivering like a monologue. Well, that's shot is on screen. I gotta say this too, um, the birthday boys production offices were in there and then literally next door to us was like a game of thrones.

And it was funny to think of the next door successes. Like comparatively one room where, uh, a thousand people, maybe tops would see this. And then one room over is like a, you know, like whatever 30 million people were watching. Oh yeah, that's true. In terms of zeitgeist, but the advantage you have over game of thrones is your show did not suck shit. Show did not make me feel like I wasted seven years watching it. Your show ended when people liked it.

I think there was particularly happy that it was over. Uh, anyways, I think that Mendo and tender greens get a little bit of a bad rap because I think it is that sort of thing of like people go there all the time and look, tender, I think maybe both of them have dropped in quality. Sure. But at the time I was like, these are good. And, and like a Mendo sandwich, I'm like, there's a bunch of different Mendo sandwiches that I would like more than the sandwiches we got today.

But that being said, sandwiches we got today. Why you said it, you took a bite of it and you said, are the sandwiches good? Yeah. And I think they maybe are one of the better things you can get there. This, this is a thing. And we, we talked about this with Amelia, who is, who, who picked up the food for us, and was, uh, was, was dining with us is like, the best things from the salad bowl place are the sandwiches we had and then the chocolate

chip cookie we had for dessert. And it's just like, that's kind of an indictment of the whole concept. It was like a cheat. Yeah. It was like, yeah. My thought is like, should it be called witch or, or breaded. Right. Or, or honestly, later on cooked or, or crumbled or whatever.

Like the, the, the cookie, which we have a, an extra one right here, uh, that we can, we can, we can try a little bit more. Give away. As a, yeah, we'll give away. We're going to do, we're going to do a segment. We're going to cookie it. All right. You guess the dog that bit my dick.

You get the cookie. We'll send it to you. Guess the dog. The name of the dog or the breed? The name of both. Yeah. You're going to get both exactly right. Bichon freeze named Alec.

Fuck. Anyway, uh, this cookie is great. It's good cookie. A great cookie. Highlight of the meal. Very chocolatey too. If that's the highlight of the meal and also the sandwich, I was like, the sandwich wasn't, I wasn't like thrilled with the sandwich, but I'm like,

I liked this more than, than, than probably salad. And my salad, by the way, was not bad. It's just that sort of thing of what we were saying is like, you're eating like a bin of, you're eating so much lettuce. It's so much. And I think that there's something of like they, this is a common thing with restaurants and I think they especially feel it with salads is like, we need to inflate the portion size to justify the cost.

And so I, I honestly think every salad you get from one of these salad places, I'm good for now. Mitch is offering me a cookie. Oh, I simply can't. The, the, the cookie is good. I think the, the, the issue with all these places is like, like to justify the cost of the menu item, they have to make these too big. And so like you get through an entire mixed salad.

You get through an entire sweet green bowl. It's like, it's exhausting. Yes. It's so much fucking food. And it's especially it's so much chewing because you're dealing with so many raw ingredients. But I, I think all these places, the places you mentioned, Mitch, Mendez, Mendocino Farms and Tender Greens, which I think are both local to LA. Actually, I'm not sure if Tender Greens might be national.

Um, uh, Mendocino, I think is a little bit more, wait, no, wait. Mendocino started expanding to the similarly to like Arizona and Texas. So they're both, they both have more wider footprint now. Also probably part of the reason that the quality maybe has gone down. 100%. But all these places are just basically, you know, pure sustenance. These are just like, here's a workplace pile. Here is like, you know what?

I got a break in my day and I can't even make this, uh, joyful. Like this also has to be a fucking sloth. Yes. That's the name of the genre. I remember talking about the name of what is this genre, joyless. The name of the genre, joyless lunches. Yes. Like thinking about, I've had sweet green for dinner multiple times and thinking about,

I'm like, oh, that's depressing. Yeah. The night I was in my house eating sweet green alone. Oh, you don't want to do it for dinner. That's the end. That's when you know you're at the end is when you're eating sweet green for dinner. Yeah. I've done it.

I've done that move. We'll do that move. We'll do the tender greens for dinner too, which is usually, that's a little better. But it's like, I kind of think that yes, mixed is not, not particular, does not really stand out. And I think that might be just kind of like, because in this category, everything is the same, right? It's like, are any of these better than any others?

Or is it just like you have enough sweet green where you get sick of it? You're just like, well, fuck it. I'll have mixed because I truly thought that tender greens and, and Mendo when they were at their peak were, were, were better. Sure. And I, and I, and I, honestly, maybe Earth Cafe is better too. I mean, like Earth Cafe also just has so many options. I think Earth Cafe though is also just like a couple locations, right?

That's just an LA chain. Yeah, it's not. It's not. Okay. That's fair. But yeah, no, it's eating sweet green alone at night. Like it can tell like the cat, you can tell like the cats are like feel bad for me. Yeah.

It's like, you just can feel the vibe. Right. The cats are kind of like to go upstairs. I don't want to fucking watch me do it. Yeah, they're like sucks. We can't even bite your dick. To make you feel better. I guess we should get into what we got specifically.

So the, we, we had an order we had together. I actually very recently had the zesty bowl. In fact, last time I was at head gum, I had a zesty bowl for lunch. And I will say the bowl, I liked a lot better than the salads I've had there because the bowl has, you know, like, like a, it's got quinoa and kale as a basis instead of just like greens. And as such, it just feels a little bit, you know, a little bit more filling and just a little bit less of a slog to eat.

For this particular one, I got the falaf salad, which is their mixed greens, whatever that blend is, house baked falafel crumbles, roasted cauliflower, avocado, grapes, cucumbers, chickpeas, fresh herbs, lemon tahini, vinaigrette. Could have used a little bit more dressing. It was perfectly fine. I mean, here's my mixed take. And I said I was going to say this on the pod, Mitch mixed. Hard to mix the containers they put it in.

It's kind of hard to fucking mix up and get your dressing distributed. Oh, I like this. I can use a better bowl. I knew, I knew the reviews were going to be mixed, but I didn't think you were going to say the thing about it. Mixes, he said this right before you got here, mixed hard to mix. And I was like, you fucking nailed it. It is, it is, it's, it's hard to, it is fucking hard to mix.

Yeah. It's hard to mix. I agree with you. And here's the thing, we've talked about this before. I'm not a guy who puts the dressing in and shakes it. You lose so much dressing. And here with mixed, if you lose dressing, you're in trouble. It'll give you enough.

They don't give you enough dressing. They give you a pretty big fucking cup, by the way. It's like a big cup of dressing, but there's so much lettuce. Yeah. But yeah, the salad should be tossed. I'm going to say this like when they make it in store, they do it in a bowl and they do mix it up in huge difference. Yeah.

And I'm like, I wonder why they don't do that. They also mix it in with the dressing though. But I'm like, if you dress, if you mixed all the ingredients and then put the dressing in like, you can mix the dressing on your own, you know what I mean? Like it would be, it would be helpful because so, so often it's like, I had the, the bachelor salad fitting little salad for me. And I was like, oh, I ate a pile of blue cheese.

And then I'm like, now I'm eating the steak. Like I was like trying to get them separated. Oh, you were trying to make the perfect bite with each. I was, I was trying, I was trying to like, I was trying to do that. But then so often I'd be like, oh, there's still a mound of tomato. Like I didn't get all the way through. And I agree with you. It's, it's in, in restaurant, that's not an issue.

They do mix it. They mix it up. And they also ask you like light, medium or heavy dressing. But also it's kind of embarrassing because like you should go medium to heavy, but you're at a health food place and you're like, I guess like light, I should do light, but never go light at mixed with the dressing. I like it. And this is more common.

I eat sweet green more frequently where they ask you the same question, but I always go heavy. I find, and I have no shame about going heavy. The dough boys always go heavy. Always go heavy. Yeah. But, but also I, like part of my thought is like, look, if you're an employee there, you're churning out so many salads, there's no way you're even going to remember the dude,

the fat guy you asked for heavy dressing. Like it's not like, like that doesn't enter into your brain at all. You just, it's, it's all muscle memory by that point. So you don't feel shame. They did seem to remember me, Jack and Susser. It is like if like the fat boys walked into the restaurant. We wrapped our fucking order to them every day we came in there. Yeah.

I just, I just don't know how I, I can't see anyone being excited about going here. Right. Like, can you think of anyone who's like, oh, mixed. This is fun. I think the, I think the, any excitement for mixed that I've ever had has been like, I should have a salad and I don't normally get this. So it's like from the standpoint of like, this is a, this is a more exotic, healthy option. It doesn't come from like, I'm craving this thing.

I'm craving this salad, which I will say back to Mendocino farms. There are times that I'm like craving that impossible taco salad as a salad or I'm craving that, uh, you know, the, the save Drake's farm salad. Hey, they had a chicken prosciutto salad that I thought was good. I like, I, I genuinely think probably not as good for you by the way is my guess, but I just, sure, maybe there's a, some couple that loves to bike or something and. I sometimes have the thing of like, I want vegetables. Yeah.

Like I want that. Like I want, like it's, I've eaten too bad for too long. I need a lunch full of vegetables. And so I could see maybe getting excited about the prospect of a heavy lettuce, like a salad that just has a shit ton of lettuce in it. Right. Like, which you definitely get here. But don't you think that even like Mendo does that?

Cause like Mendo will have like those thick carrots on it and stuff. Like, I'm like, I'm like, I feel like they do like a, like you're getting better veggie. Like this feels so much like it feels like you were saying kind of just like a grocery store roundup of, of veggies. It doesn't, like when I'm eating Mendo veggies, I'm like, this feels like whatever. This came from Mendocino farms or whatever the fuck from the Mendocino from the Mendocino farms. Not from that Swallows guides, whatever they do, not from Swallows farms, Mendocino farms.

I have the menu up here. Prez, you got the cowboy salad. I got the cowboy salad. Now my reasoning for this was that I was like, I'm on Mendo boys here. Yeah. And they got, there were things that were, they were like, chicken fried chicken sandwiches and stuff. I was eyeing the bachelor.

I'm a bachelor. I was eyeing the bachelor. Sure. I, but I ultimately settled on the cowboy salad because I was like, I don't want to get something. I don't want to get some beet salad that I'm going to just hate eating the whole time. And I don't want to get something that's like the cheat actually unhealthy thing on the menu. Right.

So I'm going to go with kind of a down the middle thing that's kind of healthy. And so salads, romaine hearts, grilled chicken, fresh red peppers, black beans, sharp cheddar, scallions, blue cheese and Chipotle honey drizzle. Can I just say that each of our salads kind of describes us. You got the cowboy, the bachelor and old falafel. Exactly. I'm falafel. I used to be a SoCal surfer dude, but I'm a man of the West.

I'm a cowboy. Change that. Nick, because now you've, you've claimed that title. Uh, the, yeah, I, I will say that the thing about the falaf salad is for, it was vegan. And for a vegan salad, you know, like, hey, there's, there's, there's a number of takes on that that could be pretty flavorful. And this was one of them. I think this was a, this was a great option.

If you know what, that's maybe someone who could be excited for mixed. If you're vegan, I could see that, that, that, that's a pretty, that's a pretty like well considered, well composed option. Also though, yeah. Worst city in maybe the United States to say that. I mean, maybe not in the United States, but great vegan food here. Sure. Yeah.

One of the best, like, like, I don't know, I don't know if mixed, would even be that exciting to, to, to be. I'm looking for something. I mean, I don't know. Are you, where are you, Nick, on your journey? Are you, are you eating vegan a lot or? He just said the other day that he was thinking about going vegan. Scared the shit out of me.

You thought James Cameron looked so good. James Cameron looks fantastic. He does, but also. He looks so fucking good. My rebuttal to you is, you want to live longer? Well, if I can become a Navi maybe, put my brain into a fucking avatar, abandon this corpse. Dammit is 75.

You want to be around when you're 75? I don't know. He'd, he'd look, he looks really good. Wow. He's like, he's got that, he's got that, that, that like, you know, slender. I mean, the same thing happened. Slenderman. Yeah, he's got the slenderman thing.

He's got the same thing happened to Bill Clinton. Just like he went vegan. He just like, like got so slim. Well, he's got that. He's also got that Epstein juice or whatever. He's got the special, the special little concoction they give you. Right. Clinton got like bone.

You're like, there's like, there's like bones I've never seen coming out of Clinton now. He's got new kinds of bones. He's got the new bones. Jack Skellington physique. Okay, so the sandwiches we got, we got the mixed crispy, which is crispy chicken, apple fennel slaw, house pickles, herb mayo on a, on a torpedo roll, and also the grilled chicken, which is also a sliced seasonal apple. They both are apple chicken concepts.

Just one is fried and one is, is grilled. I just don't know if we ever talked about how, how someone described Bill Clinton's being us as a roll of quarters. Do you, do you remember this? Yeah. That was one of the testimonies from people who had been victimized by him. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, wait, is this during the Lewinsky trial or was this later on? This was, this was back in, this was, this was some, this was like the Paula Jones trial or something. Oh, okay. Roll of quarters. I think they also said he was grading on a curve if you catch my drift. Really? Yeah.

A little bit, a little bit of a hook shot. I wonder if they meant the old quarter or the new, well, I guess the old quarter at that time would have been like the new, not that new design with the Washington where the hair is different anyway. I thought he would at least be Sacajawea roll of, I thought he'd be a little bit more than a roll of quarter. Like he's a sex guy. You know what I mean?

You know what, it doesn't mean you have a fucking huge dick. Look at Epstein. Epstein supposedly hit like, they were just like, hey, his dick looks like an egg. And, and obviously Harvey Weinstein jailed a jailed monster. I mean, all these guys are fucking. Yeah, they're all bosses. The dark, dark alley. He like has like no, like he has like a fucking completely, he has no testicles.

Yeah. He had a stick where he injected himself to have sex. I think there's, you know that I, that's my Indiana Jones is to get that stick. That belongs to the museum. There's maybe some sort of relation to, I don't know if it's overcompensation or all right, hold on a second. Don't say that there's a perv slash small dick. I'm not saying that.

No, I'm just, I'm saying that this may be part of the psychology of, you know, that whole weird fucking power dynamic. Sure. Um, we don't need that. We don't need to get into it. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. We don't need to get into it any more than we have.

So we also got the crispy cauliflower. The crispy cauliflower, you know, was fine. It didn't travel well. I mean, that's the thing. It's, it's the sort of deep fried items just aren't going to do that. But I, I think both of those sandwiches were pretty solid. And honestly, if I was going to order for a mix and I wasn't going to care about my waistline, I'd be like, you know what?

That fucking mixed crispy sandwich is probably the best tasting thing they have. Come on. We, are you ever going to get that sandwich though? No, I wouldn't, but I'm saying like the situation would be like, Hey, we're going to get mixed if you want something, which will happen here. At some point there will be a lunch order for mixed. And you know what? I'll be like, fuck it.

Yeah, don't think that's crispy. This is too specific of a circumstance. Yeah. And this is like a one in a million thing where it's like, where you don't have a choice in the restaurant, but you have a choice of the order is like. Yes. Okie dokie. It's never going to, it may, it may, it might happen to one person listening to the

podcast. I think that people who are in, I think, I think in a workplace or like if you've got, you know, we've got a workplace where like, Hey, everyone's going to lunch. I've been, I've been in, you know, I've had standard office jobs, right? You know, or when I worked in the video game industry, it's like, there are times just like, Hey, we're going to lunch at this place. And it's like, fuck it. Well, I don't necessarily want California chicken cafe today, but that's where we're

going. Yes, that's true. I'll fix something. So I think that circumstance does happen. I think it also happens with families. I talked about this while we were eating, but when we were recording the Christmas special, which is a day no one was happy to be here. You, they were like, we can go get some lunch delivered during like the break.

We had a break period. Yeah. And they listed off and they were like, whatever, whatever, mixed. And you're like, Oh, mixed, it would be good to go healthy. Like, let's get mixed. Yeah. And I knew that you were in here basically, you know, against your will. You didn't want to do it.

And I was like, I was just like, let Wiger have his thing. But in my head, I was like, fuck, I was like, this sucks. This day already sucks so bad. And now we're also getting mixed. And also the look on, by the way, I don't know. I don't know how Russia, how you feel about, about mixed, but like the look on the head gum employees face when we, when we said mixed, they're all like, and it was like, Oh, you guys are sick of this already.

Yeah, sure. Yeah. Mixed. Do how do you feel about it? I've never had it because it just has never seemed appealing to me. Wow. I mean, that states it all. That says it all.

I mean, it does. You're down the street for mixed and I've never, I work here. I've never had it. Yeah. That's a bad sign. Well, look, we got to get to our final thoughts, but we're going to take a break and we'd come back with our fork scores right after this. New way to do it.

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We are here with Ryan Perez. It's time for our final thoughts on mixed. So here's how this will work. We'll each go around. We'll say a closing argument if you will on this particular chain and end it by giving a score from zero to five forks. Ryan Perez, you are a guest. Your thoughts on mixed, your fork score.

Oh boy. Yes. I think, first of all, it's a pleasure to eat at a hip Silver Lake place. Like here, I feel like other places we've, anytime I've talked about food on this show, my question has been, oh boy, how much burger can we eat or whatever. Sure. Today I was thinking, what's my new tat going to be? You know, like it's just cool to be here in Silver Lake at Head Gum.

But I would say in this genre, this general genre, this, it really is like, as has been stated, this is food that you get at work when you want to have a lunch and have it and kind of be a, not too caloric of a meal. This is a pretty mediocre version of that genre, I would feel like, the joyless lunch genre, so as I'm calling it now. So I'm going to go with two and a half forks for mixed. And I would say the one thing is like, if I'm over here one day and I want, and I'm just like, God, I just need to eat a ton of lettuce.

I need to get a bunch of lettuce into my system right away. I may revisit mix. Yeah. I'm with you. I'll definitely, I mean, I'll definitely go back. That's what, I mean, that whether, how much I like it or not, I will end up going back. Two and a half forks from Ryan Perez, Mitch, your thoughts, your fork score? My dad would, at work, he would walk and get his, get his lunch every day.

He would go and get either a turkey sandwich. Yeah. Or a burrito, basically plain, no cheese and sour cream, kind of wild. But he was, my dad was afraid of the, I grew up in a household that had drank skim milk. Right. And like a bread heavy. This is like a low fat, like where, you know, like fat is bad. One hundred percent.

Yeah. Household. Completely different era of nutrition. Yeah. And he, but he would walk and get, and he, you get the same thing every, you know, every day. One of those two things. If I am working at head gum every day. I'm not, there's nothing at mixed that I'd be happy with eating on a daily basis.

And I'm a guy who can eat the same lunch almost every day. I, like I, I eat sidewalk grill a lot. Almost, I, like my, my lunch rotation spots are, are the same. You know this, I can, I can eat the same thing a lot of the time. I, I can't, I can't do it there. I, I know the plus side of it. Like, hey, if I'm, if I'm dieting and, and, and eating just salads, I know that I can, this is a lunch meal and I'm not even thinking about the, you know, the joy I get from eating it.

Which you shouldn't with every meal, of course. Like a lot of the time this is a, it's his energy. You're just eating this for energy or fuel, for fuel. But this place just doesn't, it's just as boring as hell. And like now after having it a few times, I'll say this, when we were walking, when Jack in our walks, my walks with Jack and Sus. My walks, they walked, they were friends. And together they learned by each other.

They'd be like, in front of the other. There'd definitely be the scene where like it was just two of them at a certain point. Like, oh man, one of them is not there anymore. And then you look in just one of us is trailing way behind. One of us is even slower. I mean, that would be me probably. I, so we would do these, we would do our walks. And, you know, the options were mixed.

Sweet Finn, the bowls. And then there was this other place, this Mediterranean place. We ate it mixed a few times. Sweet Finn became like, it was like, oh, well, I like Sweet Finn. We're going to do Sweet Finn. The Mediterranean place, we got kebabs. I literally bit into a raw chicken kebab, like not just undercooked chicken kebab. Like raw on the inside.

After that happened, I still wanted to go to the Mediterranean place more than I wanted to go to mixed. I'm just saying like, that's how not exciting mixed is that I was like, let's go back to the raw chicken place instead of going to mixed. In fact, let's bring a dog in. Let it bite my dick again before I go back to fucking mixed. Mixed is not fun in any way. But for what it is and what it's trying to do,

I'll give it two and a half forks with Perez, because that's what was in my mind. But not exciting. Like it's almost more fun for a place to just be outright bad than what mixed is. Mix is just fucking boring. I don't, and now we're going to eat it so much. And I know you're going to be like, I wish you get some mixed today before the record. We're going to eat it so fucking many times.

Don't preemptively get mad at me. But it's going to happen. I know it's going to happen. But still, you can get mad at me then, not now. But not because you look, but the case would be you're going to, yeah, you will, you will eat it a lot, but to save your life. Yes. To prolong your, this, this life you can get James Cameron age.

Exactly. I'll never look as, I'll never look as good as James Cameron looks at 75 throughout my entire life. It's like a million bucks. He looks great. I'll say this, I got the bachelor salad, which is a steak salad. Yeah. You know, the thing that you, you should get the least. And, and that was the best salad I had there.

And it had some, it's had some caramelized onions on there, which it, it just kind of overtook the, the taste of lettuce. And maybe the bowls are better, but you had a bowl. Yeah. So let's hear it from the bowl guy. You've had a bowl. Just one thing I'd tell on the bachelor salad, if you order that in restaurant, when they hand it to you, they say, will you accept this bowl?

So that's a fun little detail. Here's the thing. I want to go back to something you said earlier, Mitch, about when we, when we got mixed for, during our previous record and you were mad about it. Okay. So let's let, no, I just, I just want to say this. I would, I'm not trying to say that like, you know, I was right. I didn't voice, I didn't voice, I was like, sure.

Yeah, I know. You were silently stewing about it. You were silently. Yeah, we didn't know that's old man. We're silently stewing like a Knight of Cups character. Like not expressing it through the dialogue through your expression. Yeah. This fork is manipulating pasta slowly.

That's how your understanding is in herself. So we, we, we were, No, I'll be verbally stewing in twisted metal coming out this summer. Character's name is stew. Character's name is stew. And you're eating stew? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we worked that in.

So the thing is sometimes you need like working food. You know what I mean? Yes. And if we'd gotten Jersey Mike's, which is, we would have wanted and we would have enjoyed, we would have been so fucking tired that the back half of that day. It would have been a nightmare. It would have been tough. Specifically for you, you would have been, it would have been a nightmare.

It would have been tough. So like there are times when you need this sort of place. And so this, this, the, the, the, the, the joyless work sustenance to borrow a prez's phrasing, the, the, the, the workplace pile is like it has its place just in society. And I think this place does it capably. It's not a standout. It's not really falling behind. I think two and a half forks is about right for it.

But I honestly think this place executes everything well enough to nudge it up to three forks. I think this is a three forker. It's right down the middle. Fair. Yeah. Almost hand holding. I was going to, I was going to say this to you.

You, you, we talked about this before. Like you were like, I used to work out in the morning and I felt like shit. I did used to do that. Yeah. And so my thought is I get having a Jersey Mike sub will maybe make you a little bit tired. Does eating mixed make you feel like good? Cause I don't, I don't necessarily feel good.

Well, I never feel good. That's great. Do I feel good right now? The lot goes into that question. I don't know if it's the mixed in my belly. That's making the, uh, yes, I mean, I guess it doesn't, it's not heavy. It's, it's not, it's not the thing where you're feel, but like is, could you have had a Chipotle bowl and feel just as good?

Chipotle, I mean, that's the same sort of ballpark. I think if I got in a Chipotle bowl, I would have liked it more. I prefer Chipotle. We were talking Chipotle bows beforehand and we're like, we've gotten a lot of shit to put Chipotle even on the podcast. We've gotten, we've gotten back and forth. We've been nice to it and mean to it. And I'm like, Chipotle bowl probably wouldn't make me feel any heavier than,

than what we ate. And it is way better. I would, I would be much happier eating a Chipotle bowl. Our Chipotle journey has been wild on this podcast. Yeah. I think we reviewed it three or four times. I can for it. I remember.

Mike Hanford, one of, one of our, I go way back. You got some of you guys, some of you new, new listeners don't know what I go way back. I've been listening to the show since day one. I go way back. I go way back to these guys. I have history before this. I know them.

I know them. I know the guy before the show, even before they started the podcast. They're going to like that too. They're going to love that. He's good. He's good. He's good. I like it.

He likes it. Those guys got a report. Those guys got a report. He goes back. He goes back. So yeah, that, that play, the Chipotle episode with Mike Hanford, it was the first entry in the platinum plate club. We were so high on a Chipotle.

We all gave it five forks. And then. Really? Yeah. And then the next time we reviewed it, I think was Chelsea Davidson. That was either the second or third time. And we, we were also, and it was, their queso had just come out. And the original recipe queso was really chalky and not cheesy enough.

It was really poor. I kind of like it now, by the way. That's the thing, their queso's gotten good now. I get their queso now, but their original recipe queso was pretty bad. And we were, we were way down on it. And then we kind of landed in the middle. We did it again with the, uh, the bruised brothers, um, and, uh. How the fuck are you recalling all of this?

This is insane to me. I'm just, I'm like, I'm probably missing one. We've probably done it again. He's on the message boards. He knows he's reviewing. I'm actually Darth come on the fucking subreddit. Always posting about giving Mitch shit. Mitch was actually wrong about a super duper burger.

I don't think he's been to Boston. Even though a tasty burger, uh, the, the, so. Darth come. Good username. Pretty good home. Uh, the, the, like, like, what I was going to say is though, I'm fully back on board with Chipotle now. Natalie and I got Chipotle for, for dinner last night.

I'm fucking fully, the app is great. The app is not crap. I didn't actually try the mixed app, um, but the app is great. And it's, uh, I think their food is, they've upped the quality level. Chipotle is a great, Mitch Chipotle is like a great example of like, Hey, this is a non-heavy lunch that's a little bit more flavorful. I think it's, I think it's golden play club. Sure. If you get a burrito, you're going to get the burrito bomb going.

Sure. Yeah. You know, I think, I think you can do all right with the bowl. Uh, well, hey, that was our review of mixed. It's time for a segment. I actually got to pop out real quick. Even more than just, uh, mixed reviews. I'd say mixed to maybe just poor reviews of, of mixed. Well, I think it's two and a half is mixed.

Yeah, I guess it's mixed. I think you're bright in the middle. It's not mixed proper in the sense that like, like it's not like why you're gave it a four and you gave it a one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mid is, as the kids say, mid, mid is the, mid is a word. Mid is, mid is the word.

Mid is the word. Mid is the word that mid, uh, uh, hwg. Here we go. Yeah. That's something. Rachelle knows about that. Rachelle and I were, we were bonding earlier that we, we were, we were both part of a now defunct, um, uh, editing collective, uh,

called racer trash. Oh, wow. Yes. So you're, you guys are all, you're, you're, you know, the, you know, the, as an editor, you hear all the, I said, I'm not, I'm not like a terribly online person, you know, uh, and I'm not terribly young either, but I learned a lot of these phrases through there, you know, the, the.

I was just thinking this the other day. I'm like DVR, by the way, not new. But I was just like, Oh, do so many people like DVR that instead of like tape that doesn't make any sense anymore. Yes. DVR is the new, uh, is that it? But is, is, is it even DVR that is DVR antiquated? I, is like my question at this point or.

I don't think DVR is a brand name. So I think DVR is like the, like, uh, it's not like saying Kleenex or whatever. I think DVR is the net, just the name of the device. We're saying how you say DVR, we're still recording, by the way. We're saying how DVR it is kind of like, is like the new tape it. You know what I'm saying? It was, it used to be, people used to say Tevo.

Tevo is the brand. Tevo. Tevo it. Are you going to Tevo that? I'm going to Tevo. So, so, uh, we've got a segment here. Our producer, Amelia Marino, is stepping in. I'm Amelia.

So Amelia. Also, I got to give Amelia credit before the recording. You want to come in for it? And she's like, no. She's like, no. We got other shit to do. Smart move, Amelia. Rachelle's been sitting here just having to endure all this bullshit.

Why are you laughing? Amelia picked up our mix for us. And I'm curious to take on mix, but also you told us something insane about your family. That, I hate like, we got to address. I feel like we got it. We just got to talk about this in the podcast. So we were just chatting about lunch. Yeah.

And Ryan, you brought up how it's important it is to get sunlight every day. And it reminded me of how my dad's scorpion says that you need, you need to stare at the sun for 10 seconds every day directly at the sun. Yeah. You need to get your 10 seconds in every single day. Yeah. So within this story, you also bring up another thing. Your dad.

He goes by scorpion. Yes, his dad is named Scorpion. He came home one day from Atlantic City and had this giant scorpion tattoo on his hand and forearm. And he was like, I go by scorpion now. So we just as a family had to accept that. So now he's, he's scorpion. I don't even call him dad. I call him scorpion.

That's, you have him saved a scorpion in your phone. In my phone. We love this very much. What is his first name? His first name is Leonard Lenny. Why are you so good from Lenny to Scorpion? That's an upgrade. That is an upgrade.

That's an upgrade. You also told the story where you've got him a bidet. Yeah. So for Father's Day, I got him a bidet and within minutes of him opening it, I got a video back from him. He, he was using it as a toothbrush or like he was using it. He was using the bidet to brush his teeth. Like not, not hooked into the toilet.

No, he was hooked up to the toilet. I'm hoping this is its first use. I really hope that he didn't use it. So he, he's like, I'm about to use the bidet. And I'm expecting him it to be like a reaction video of him using it. But instead the water shoots up into his face and he starts brushing his teeth. And he's like, I love it. Thanks, Amelia.

And that's not even the weirdest bidet story I got from him. You didn't, you didn't want to know it was the weirder one because we were eating. You guys were eating. Yeah. He, I don't know if he was, whatever. We can edit it out if you want. Okay. He's not gonna, he's never going to listen to this.

He, uh. Hey. He got things to do. He's fucking Scorpion. Scorpion goes to the podcast. I mean, his daughter doesn't listen to the podcast. You could, you could, you honestly, you could have worked. If you wanted silence, you could have just worked in here next to Rochelle.

There would have been no noise. But let's hear this dirty. Um, about maybe like a week after Father's Day, I get, I get a text that's like, have you ever filled up your small intestine with the, with the bidet before? Oh my God. I was, I was like, no, I haven't tried this. So what, what's the process? You just relax and you just let the water build up, fill up your small intestine.

And you know, it's euphoric. I'm getting one. I'm sold. Like Scorpion, I have done that. I put the pressure up. I've said this on the podcast where I could feel it on the back of my teeth, basically. Like once you, once you, once you get into, once you get into, once you get into the bidet world and you get used to it, you're like, you, you want to, you want to, you want to,

you want to feel clean. Yeah, an experiment. I don't, I don't ever reach the point where I'm like holding an excess of water inside of me. Like it's always still kind of like, you know, cleaning the surface. Do you have a bidet? Yeah, I got a bidet, a big time bidet. Do you have a tushy? I've got a Toto, a seat.

It's one of those seats you attach. It's got like a, it's, it's like warmed and it's very. Am I the only bidet-less person in this building? Got to get a bidet. You need one. If any, if any bidets want to sponsor the podcast, this is a good time to reach out. I'd love to do some bidet ad reads. Bidet day here.

And also, by the way, goldmine for them. If you had to think about like, which podcast listeners shit the most? I think the Doughboys listeners are probably up there. But are they dirty, stinky shit? Oh, you have no idea. Amelia, thank you so much for your help. Thanks for having me on. I've seen the rain down in Africa.

I was trying to think of a bidet parody for it, but I couldn't do it quick enough. I just want to let it go. It's a lovely bidet. Lovely bidet. Love that bidet. All right. Thanks guys. Thanks, Amelia.

Thanks, Amelia. Are you leaving? I mean, you can sit around the line. Well, I mean, like I said, thanks, Amelia. It kind of sounded like a segue. No, he does stuff like that. No, it's fine. You can stay for the day.

Yeah, okay. Stay if you want. I mean, I think you have work to do, so I thought you could. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. All right, great. Amelia's going to hang out. Yeah, she was lying to us when she said that.

I didn't want to be in here. All right. So look, we're back in studio. It's the return of a segment that we used to do all the time here on the podcast. I've got a mystery beverage and Mitch and Peresimus. Guess what it is? It's the return of the Weigur Challenge. I'm giving a little sniff.

Do you remember that I won this a long time ago? Yeah, you won the Weigur Challenge. Were you the first person to... You might have been the first person to beat me. You might have been the first person to beat me. I feel like I was, yeah. I think you were. I think you were, because I was pretty good at the Weigur Challenge.

Mitch is great at the Weigur Challenge. Yeah. I'm telling you, I'm smelling it right now. I'm getting some citrusy smell. And describe, like, if you can, you got these in plastic cups, but for the listeners who aren't watching the video, what are we dealing with here? We got some clear...

This is a clear beverage here. It's clear. It's not super clear. There's a little cloud. Yeah, a little bit of cloudy. It's like maybe a little bit like a Weigur load. A citrusy smell, Preston. I'm trying to...

It's almost grapefruit-adjacent. It's... Yeah. I don't... I kind of lost my smell since having COVID yesterday, so... In studio now. Let's see here. I'm gonna...

Can we take a sip, Wags? Of course. Where are the exercise? Okay. This is like a familiar... This is like a familiar taste. I think I have a theory, too. I think I...

Wow. Familiar? Maybe it is a Weigur load. Oh! Dear God. You talk that way to Scorpion. She's got that Scorpion sting, Amelia. I knew she had the sting.

As soon as I saw her, I knew she's... Because she's, you know, it's like the whole thing. It's in her nature, you know? She's like... You know. It's... I just...

Like, it's a testament to how little respect the two of us... Yes. Command. Yeah. That who... We're still in the early days of... Relative early days of Amelia's employment. She roasts us endless.

Yes. It's been a year. That's true. Yeah. It flew by. Emma as well. Emma roasts us more than anyone. Yes.

Emma basically threatens to send us to our rooms. I have a theory on what this is. I have a slight theory on what this is. Wow. Should I just go for it? You... Are you going Benoit Blanc on me? I kind of...

I think that I meant... I may have some suspicious about this here beverage. A glass of onion. Keep doing that for two and a half... Quarter hours and you got a knives out picture. Oh my God. Wow. Mitch just finished it?

No. I just... I just... And I completely changed what I think it is. Wow. I think that this is... A G2, a diet Gatorade, white cherry. It's a white cherry Gatorade.

White cherry Gatorade. Mitch's guess. Perez, you got an idea? I like... I do like the Gatorade thing, but I made my... I actually wrote it down. Gatorade zero. Ice cherry or frosted cherry.

Sorry. Sorry. Ice cherry, frosted cherry. I'm going to go with... This is some... I don't know what varietal, but I believe this is a diet Hawaiian punch of some kind. Wow. You know, I was closest...

When I first was drinking, I was like, is this a diet squirt? And then it just popped in my head. This is a G0 cherry ice. Mitch, your instincts to change your answer were dead on, because although it is not a Gatorade, it is a Powerade zero sugar white cherry. Oh my God. So, Mitch, you have won the Weigar Challenge,

which means you get the rest of the bottle. I think both Perez and I can agree. Not the best. Why is Powerade so much worse than Gatorade? You know what? The zero sugar one is... Because at first, I was like, there was a taste of diet to this, but also I wasn't positive it was diet.

I can taste that diet. I don't eat or drink. I don't eat diet beverages for sure. I don't drink them because I can't stand that aspartame taste. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm not on board. I'm not on board. Amelia, do you do sports drinks and do you do diet drinks?

No, to both. Wow. I also don't like the taste of aspartame. It's bad. Yeah. I don't like soda in general. You don't like soda? Yeah.

I just never grew up drinking it, and I think I just never developed a taste for it. Yeah. The only carbonated drink I do like is liquid death. Wow. That's the only carbonated drink I like. Like a scorpion? Yeah, that's a scorpion beverage.

It's that scorpion's thing. Well, hey, that was the Weigert Challenge. Mitch wins again. Congratulations. Just like a restaurant. I had to get the throne back. Exactly. You've won back from me, specifically.

Love to have the rubber match. Wow. Complete the trilogy. Just like a restaurant, buy your feedback. Let's open the feedback. And we have a voicemail today, which Emma's going to play for us. Amelia, I don't know if you have headphones.

Oh, I do, right here. Hey, Doe Boyz. My name is Walter, Walter K93 in the Doe Squad. I recently moved to New Jersey, and I realized around here a lot of restaurant workers, service workers in general, usually default and give you a nickname, like boss or buddy or my friend or something. I think it's a way to just be nice,

but also maybe a way to avoid Karen-ish behavior. But my question for you all is, if you were in their position, what would be your go-to nickname for people that came into your store? Thanks, and thanks for everyone's work on the show. Bye-bye. Thanks, Walter.

Why did I get the vibe that that was recorded at a funeral hall? Walter, he sounds like a very nice guy. He sounds a little bit like when Zodiac calls into the radio station. And wants to talk to Ryan Cox. Anyway, thanks, Doe Boyz. I got to go bury my dad. Oh, my God. So this is an easy answer to me, which is buddy.

This is, hey, buddy, I'm going to be calling people buddy. Yeah, your buddy is... But as far as what I like to hear, I love hearing boss, or boss man. It's like, hey, boss man, don't love hearing big guy, which I'll get a fair amount. Yeah, I get big guy. Don't like a big guy,

but I like a boss. I like a boss man. I like a chief. What about big man? You don't like that? I'm okay with big man. I don't know why a big man is better than big guy. Yeah.

Yeah. But I like big man better than big guy. Maybe because it's like, oh, you're a man. You know, maybe that's some sort of, I don't know. I also like my friend. And then if we're like go to waitress category, like a darlin', like a darlin' or a sweetie. Sweetie's nice, too.

Yeah, it's a lot of fun. But then I'm also like, I love her. Oh yeah. I call my waitress mom. You're getting 40%. Remember me? It was cool how you like sat down in the booth next to me to take my order.

That was those rad. There is, there are certain waitresses that like, probably like a gambling addict in Vegas, just giving her like 60% tip. Yeah. I love you ma'am. You already have to be a gambling addict. You just, no, I've done it.

Yeah. Sweetie is, I think that that's nice when people call me sweetie. I think for me, I would go maybe like, you know what's fun is like, what's up my man? Like, that's kind of fun. Yeah, that's good. That's a good one.

But I also feel dorky saying it. Like, I don't think I can get away with it. But I wish there was a better like gender neutral option. That's a big issue. That's a good point. There isn't like a great like just kind of catch all. Yeah, I can't say I've ever gotten a boss. No one's ever called me boss or chief or.

You're a little scorpion. And sir feels so different than ma'am. Like, I know like a lot of, you know, women don't like ma'am. But sir, I feel like as always feels respectful. I think I just start by saying like, hey there, how you doing? I think that's like, that's what I would probably do. Is hey there, how you doing? Yeah.

This is, if you were the server? If you're the, yeah, you're in that position. Oh, if you're the server, I always, I always like a friend. Or a friend's good. Yeah, boss, I wouldn't do boss or big guy or anything like that. I, sir is a bit tricky because I don't, when an older person calls me sir, I can't stand it. Yeah.

If an older man calls me sir, it feels like the universe is upside down. Yeah, I don't like that. That's, I get that. I have a gender neutral one that I think that would work. Hi there, sweet cheeks. It works both ways. Yeah, if you're Charlie Rose, that's great. Emma, Mila, you gotta, well, Emma, you worked in food service for a while.

You were a bartender. Thank you for your service. Did you have a go to? In Boston too. Yeah, we actually- They'll probably like get the fucking backup fucking asshole. Motherfucker is gender neutral. You can use that for anybody.

But we actually, we had training where we were told not to use gender specific terms and that's partially why I use the term y'all. I'm like not southern at all, but I use the term y'all all the time. Just like, hey y'all, what's up? And it works for everybody. It's funny you say that because I feel like I hear y'all a lot. Yeah. What can I get y'all?

It works really well. Instead of saying you guys or ladies or gentlemen, whatever, just say, hey y'all, what's up? And it just, you can just keep moving through. See, they're way ahead out there in the south. Yeah. They're way ahead. They know.

They're so progressive. The future down there. Elon would hate this convo. Fucking loser. Everyone tries to like, look, I hate Trump obviously. I don't like Trump. But everyone tries to act like they have the juice that Trump has or had and they're all dorks. None of them have that juice.

It seems sweaty. I will admit that Trump had that, it was scary and it was evil, but he had that juice and these other guys don't have that juice. Genuine charisma and was able to like come across as like funny in a way that these, again, a piece of shit, but funny in a way that the other people who tried to become expression. Yes, he reads something like, oh my, you'd be like, oh my fucking, like you would be laughing at how awful it was. It's the grotesque.

It's the mirroring of horror and comedy. And Elon's like Nosferatu. Disgusting. Yeah, making a fucking pronouns joke is just so sweaty. Fucking loser. It sucks. But that is, that's a great point that I, that thinking about, about, and now when I'm thinking about it, like, you're saying like, I do get big guy or big man a lot.

I get like specific. Yeah. Would you prefer small fry? You get small fry? No. But you know what, like, why he's gonna test this as a big guy, you do get that. And then that's like the meanest one. That's the one I don't want to like, like, like, hey, like little guy or whatever.

Hey, they're slim. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's, that one's, that sucks. Yes. If I get called slim, I'm mad. There's never, there's never a scenario where someone has called me slim and I'm happy about it. But I, but like a gender neutral thing.

I think what Emma's saying is like y'all are like, hi, what can I get you? Yes. Y'all, y'all is perfect. Amelia, you got an answer to go to here? Um, I think nothing's better than a sweet older lady calling you sweetheart or honey. Yes. Those are good ones. They're really good.

Yeah. But I don't think I would like that coming from a guy. Yeah. Those are, it's very circumstantial. Um. Oh, Tawag's and I. Mitch, I was thinking about like you're a dog biting your dick, which I don't think Amelia heard because you weren't in the studio.

But Mike, my, my thought I had was what do you think the dog whisperer would say if you were like, hey, a dog, yeah, a dog bit my dick. Do you think he'd be like, you got to bite the dog's dick back? Otherwise you won't respect you. It was a lady dog. Oh boy. But I guess I got to go down on the dog. That's the rules.

So that was the only way to do it. It's getting for the goose. It's getting for the gander. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dobuyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-go-doe. That's 830-463-6844. To get the dobuys double our weekly bonus episode, you can join the golden or platinum play club at patreon.com slash dobuys.

And hey, check out dobuys snack pack on Spotify live. Hang out and chat with us every Thursday at 8 30 PM Eastern. Listen live on Spotify. No. Oh, oh yeah. Oh, oh yeah. These are old notes. Yeah.

It's still in my copy. I guess it's not really relevant anymore. I can probably delete that. Guess we won't be hanging out with everyone on Spotify live on Thursdays at 8 30 PM Eastern. Technically, if we were going by our first contract, we are still in the 30s. We're still in the 30-week window. We're still in the 30-week window. Oh, all right.

So maybe you should just say that until it's still the 30-week window is over. Anyways. Ryan Prez, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much for having me. It's been too long. We'll have you back sooner rather than later. A thrill to be back. Delightful guest to have back in studio.

Anything you'd like to plug at this time? I have a few plugs. I have this show, Mama Needs a Movie. I co-host with my friend, Dan Riemann. And we talk about movies. Very analytical, political discussions. Mitch was on recently. I was on there.

It was blast. Weigar, your invite is coming Q1 2023. I love it. I'm also, this season on HBO, I'm Josh Gad's understudy on Avenue 5. Wow. Rare, rare TV show than understudy. I'm working with Roku. I appear in Roku City on the screensaver.

I'm a little guy who waves from one of the apartment windows. I'm partnering with the 15 to 17 to Paris guys. And we're going to just ride around on trains until one gets hijacked again and they make another movie about it. I get the right story. I'm doing exciting work with David Zaslaw of HBO. We're developing a Roger Rabbit type dip that erases the cartoons even before they're drawn.

I'm writing the book for the Broadway production of Netflix's Tall Girl. And it's going to be one of those Julie Taymor type shows with big puppets. I'm appearing in a Zoom cameo for the official music video of George Harrison's Isn't It a Pity? It's going to be shot here all around Silver Lake. My cameo will be done by Zoom though. I'm going to also, my last project,

I'm going to reveal a little more about myself. A year old. A personal tale that I'm bringing to the small screen. It's a prestige show. It's about what it's like to have too high T. And it's about my illness of having very, very high T. Cooking around titles. Too much T, high T, T times something like that.

But that's just a few things I'm working on. Wow. Look for all of that. And hey. Oh, and I also want to thank Rochelle here to head Gump for out on the side. I'm just sad I don't ever get a guest star on that high T show. Give me before, guy.

Until next time for the SpooBad Bikin' Job, Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. Want more Dough Boys? Check out the Dough Squad, our Discord server. Hit access to that and the Dough Boys Double over at patreon.com slash Dough Boys.