Doughboys - Munch Madness: Cava vs Sweetfin with Arden Myrin

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

Arden Myrin (Shameless, Insatiable, Will You Accept This Rose?) joins the 'boys to talk digestive issues and go-to healthy meals before tackling the semi-soft finals of Munch Madness 2023: The Tournament of Chompions: BOWL!  Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash Doughboys media. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, UberEats. At UberEats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. UberEats' global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options.

Put your business on UberEats. Get access to the UberEats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there anytime to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow. Restaurant owners enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on all orders, offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement.

Wow. 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor.

Go ahead and click, or if you're on your phone, use your finger. And click that link. Click that link in the episode description. In 1978, the NCAA began referring to the quartet of semi-finalists in its annual basketball tournament as the Final Four. Since Final Four is trademarked, we can't use it out of fear of litigation. But we can remark upon the remarkable runs of these remaining restaurants as they edge toward the championship of Munch Madness 2023.

Super Bowl City-based Mediterranean concept Kava enters via upsetting the favorite end in the work-lunch region matchup with Sweetgreen. And it'll face off against another Sweetie Pie, Sweet Finn, which knocked off Poké Bar in a battle of delectable inauthenticity in the Poké region. Now, which bowl will take control and punch its ticket to the finale, not called the Super Bowl again due to litigation? This week on Doughboys, the first semi-soft final matchup of Munch Madness 2023, the tournament of champions, Bowl Kava versus Sweet Finn.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weigher along with a Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Weigs. I mitted your roast, which is funny because there was a little bit of tension before we got started. Yeah, there was... Things are roasting in studio. I had an opportunity to roast you, which I'll do now, along with my co-host, Nat King

Bowl. There you go. The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. That's funny. What if it would be funny if we were arguing before and then you said Nat King Bowl? I was like, fuck you. He's a delicate flower. He's a delicate flower.

No, I am not Nat King Bowl. You piece of shit. There you are. Fucking Nat King Bowl. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I almost knocked over my Eddie. We're in a fight. We're in a fight.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's gonna work out. Everybody knows that you're Bowl Houser. Hey. That was courtesy of Steve N, who wrote in a, had a bunch of alts, couldn't decide between Nat King Bowl, Bowl and Beyonce.

I'm trying to get the Walter part of Bowl. Paul Walter. Is that who you're saying, Paul Walter Houser? Cole Houser. Cole Houser, yeah. Bowl Houser, Nat King Bowl. I thought it was Paul Walter. Well, Bowl Walter Houser also works.

Also works. What is instead of Walter? Bowl Bolter Houser? Yeah. Bolzer? Bowl Bolter Bolzer? Bowl Bolter, yeah, Bolzer. Here, Steven.

I love that. If I ever have a baby, that's what I'm gonna name it. Bowl Bolter Bolzer. Who are Steve's alts? It's gonna go great for him in middle school. Beyonce Boles. Oh, that's good. Kelly Bolland.

Yeah. Nice. Gary Bollman, Panan Coleman. Okay, I like it. Bowl Caliber, like the fighting game, Soul Caliber, and then Post Bowl Lone. Okay. Post Malone. I'm a bowl position.

It's my favorite video game. That's pretty good. Thank you. You just fell out with Pokemon. I haven't come up with a single bowl pun the entire time. I believe in you. I believe in you. My stomach hurts today.

I'm mad at you. It's just not a good... I think you're extra mad because you're sitting here in the Pepto. That's what it is. I think you're extra mad because you're eating Pokemon Pepto pre-game. I have Pepto. Hot. Stop racking.

It's just showing the Pepto on hot. Can we keep it here the entire podcast? It's gorgeous. I don't know, Mitch. It's a video more interesting, which apparently where the video is like an issue, so we're not supposed to be doing video, I guess, so. I can't get into it because I can't say what the thing is. We'll talk about it later.

It's going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine. It's all going to work out. It's great to do video to be people be like, Mitch looks like fucking Jabba the bowl. It sucks. Bowl buffet? Bowl buffet. Bowl buffet.

Bowl buffet. It's really good. Bowl buffet is really good. Bowl buffet is cool. Bowl buffet is cool. I feel like you're looking great. You look great. I appreciate that.

You've lost some weight. You look great. I'm officially down 17 pounds. That's a lot of weight. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. Think about a bowling ball that's 17 pounds.

You're a really strong bowler. Hey, bowl. That's true. There you go. There you go. Yeah. You take that weight you lost. Yeah.

Roll it down the fucking alley and knock over 10 pins. Yeah. Let's say hypothetically. Uh-huh. Yeah. I want to try to either hypothetically talk about what we're arguing about, but we can't do it. No.

Emma is shaking her head on camera. We're not going to do it. We're not going to do it. We're not going to do it. There's a fight on camera. That's also not even an argument. This is all coming from you. Because we had a reasonable discussion.

We came to. No. We agreed on a plan of action. We did it. You have a witness that if it's a wiger, yes. You have a witness that I heard yes. Okay. That's fair.

Yeah. I truly did it. I see your point because this is a person that you want to be with. A good network situation. So I want you to know that I hear yes. Yes. And you can call me on air and I'll be like, why are you saying yes to that? You know what I mean?

I have to say that I heard that. There's going to be the thing that people are like, Mitch is being a baby, but then people agree with me when I've talked to them about it. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. If he tries to gas like you. You're talking about people. You mean Susser.

You've talked to Susser. Not just Susser. Okay. You know what? I'm working on it. It'll be fixed by the time you guys finish recording this episode. Thank you, Emma. Thanks, Emma.

Emma's like a real cute today in her hat. Yes, Emma. What is that hat? It's a good outfit. It's just a black beanie. It's cool. I'm in Chicago and it's cold here. I love Chicago.

Shout out Chicago. I'm also in a basement. Yeah, Chicago's great. Are you going to blink if you're not okay? Why are you in a basement in Chicago? We've been taking to a secondary location. What's happening? No, I'm good.

Okay, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Who is the Chicago gangster? What's his name? Oh, Al Capone. Yeah. I was just about to say Al Perez. Perez Hilton.

We have a friend, the last name was Perez. But yeah, you might be thinking of Perez Hilton. Yeah, I'm probably, yes. I'm probably, instead of Al Capone, I'm probably thinking of Perez Hilton. I saw him in a coffee shop once. Did you? Yeah. He's tall, right?

He's taller than you'd expect. He's bigger than you think. Yeah. Okay. Were you thinking, did you bring that up because you want to say bowl Capone? Yeah, Al Capone. Oh, that's pretty good. Al Capone.

Al Capone would be a great strip of a great poor name. I have, I got a couple of, first of all. Al Capone. Howdy ho to Spoon Nation. Howdy ho. And Emma, let's hit them with a little drop, please. Oh. Munch Madness 2023, the tournament of champions.

Bowl. Oh. That's good. Oh, and I really wanted bowl. That's good. Bowl. So good. Yeah.

That's good. Bowl. Great fun. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl, bowl, bowl, bowl.

Bowl. Bowl. Bowl. Wow. Wow. 관 obl earlier though hello guys, Julia alert. I'm Julia host of U song and, or drop King attached as a drop for the tournament champions Bowl.

Kind of Simmons cannon. My girlfriend encouraged me to send this in even though she is smart and doesn't listen to the podcast. Happy tournament boys. Much love Jack. Wow. From Seattle. Thanks, Jack.

That also is such a do Boys so move of like, You said you should send it into theний oh, I don't know movies with like scared. If they don't play, my job like you should do it. Honey, go to the private wing of our mansion. Oh, I have a modeling shoot to go finish anyways. Oh, PS. Let me know if there are any or any file issues if you need a

different format or if it's too long. Jack. It was perfect. It was so good. It was great. Jack, did you know that they filmed the sabotage video behind Jill's paint in Atwater Village? That's a wow.

What a fact. Literally, it's still like you can see where they jump over the thing into the dumpster. It's right next to Jill's paint in the back alley. I had to check this out. It's so cool. Isn't that crazy? That rules.

That rules. Go after the record. Yes. Right on Larga. Yeah, I'm going to get fucking dumped in the fucking. Yeah, you are. And that's the last time we ever saw him. Yeah, no shit.

At least he, at least he died eating pokey. Jay pokey. Wait, Jack from who is from who is the rapper from Seattle? Macklemore. Macklemore. It's not Jack Macklemore, is it? No, I don't. I think he was Professor Macklemore.

I don't know what his real name is. And then he shortened it to Macklemore. Macklemore. He took out the Le. Yeah, he took out the Professor Mack. Yeah, he took out the Le and the Professor Macklemore. What was his giant song? Well, Le is still in there.

It's just now it's thrift shop. It's not. Oh, now it's Mackle. There's probably a phonetic or a fucking linguistics term for when that happens, when those syllables get compressed together. But it's not Jack Macklemore. It's not Jack Macklemore. It's not Jack Macklemore.

I don't think so. I wish that was your favorite musical artist. That you tour with Macklemore. That would be very off brand for me if I was really into Macklemore. Yeah. His time is kind of coming gone. He had a moment. He had a moment.

He had a moment. It could be also it could be Jack. You know who I'm talking about. Nicholson? Yeah. He is Macklemore. Don't get to go to the Lakers game. So I'm into the Tournament of Champions.

Call me Jack Nicholson now. Oh, Jack Nicholson. Winning me over again. Our guest today doesn't have to win anybody over because she's beloved here. The Doughboys Extended Universe. An actor and comedian from Shameless Insatiable. And her bachelor podcast. Will you accept this rose?

Very funny podcast. She'll be in New York April 14th at Union Hall in April 15th at the Bell House. Tickets available at rosepodcast.vodka. Lover of flavors, Arden Maureen. Hi, Arden. Hi. I'm so happy. Arden, thank you for being here.

Are you crazy? I was so excited. But I got the email. Are you kidding me? Also, when Nick was giving the website, it felt like he was having the shakes and this just was like, vodka. He got excited. He had vodka sweats.

He had vodka sweats. He had vodka sweats. I've had vodka diarrhea. Wow. Back in the day, college. Yeah. Like on a plane. I wanted to say, I got a shout out to my friend.

I have a new friend, Meredith, who when she put it, she listens to your podcast. I like that you excitedly said, I had vodka diarrhea like, it was like, oh, everyone's had vodka diarrhea. You haven't had vodka diarrhea? Well, today, my stomach is hurting. So I obviously you've had it. I am. I've had probably every kind of diarrhea.

That's right. Not to sound cool. Diarrhea flavor. You're a lover of flavors of diarrhea. If you, if you, if you rattle off a food, I've had that version. Sure. There's like a, that, that, that country song, just like listing all the types of diarrhea you had.

I got vodka diarrhea and corn diarrhea. I got pokey diarrhea and more. But Meredith. I shit everywhere, man. I do. I shit in the alley. I shit in the plane. I shit in my pants.

I shit on the train. Well, I was, I was going to try to be like, off sheet in middle. And I was like, I can't sing as fast as he sings. I can't reference stuff that fast. It's, it's written. It's impossible to ad-lib, I think. It's not possible. But Meredith, when she added up, she listened to your podcast and she's like, wait a minute,

your cookie ass. She was so starstruck. That she was like, your cookie hammer, cookie ass, your cookie ass. You are cookie ass. Yes. And she couldn't believe that. Now she put her two and two together that her new friend is cookie ass. Shot at Meredith.

But she, she'd known you were on the podcast, but she like, just, it just like crystallized in what capacity. I, she, she didn't know I was on the podcast. Oh wow. Okay. She didn't add it because she was a newer friend. Got it. She didn't know.

And then she was hanging out with me. She was like, oh my God. Wait a minute. I know this. Idiot. You're cookie ass. We've been friends longer than I even realized. Yeah.

Like this is, that's right. That's right. Now how about that? She couldn't believe that she was hanging out with a lover of flavors cookie ass. That's, I, I, I, I've been hurting all day today. Yes. And then Nick and I got into a fight. That's clear.

I didn't even think it was a fight. It was a fight. It's fine. I can't feel he was upset. It's a disagreement. You were, you were, you were more upset than I realized. I thought we, we kind of hashed it out. I thought we came to an agreement and a plan of action.

I think it's all going to work out fine. All I know is that everyone line would be like, Nick's right. Mitch is bad. Fucking dorks. But anyways. Anyways. I'll tell my brother to stop. But I've had some stomach problems today.

I went with a, I wasn't going to say I went with a jack with walk. Which is not, I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I was going to say I went with a jack with walk, which is not, I didn't go with a jack with anyone. I went with a walk with Jack. You didn't pull an auto focus with your friend.

Me and walk aren't jacking off anywhere. Jack and I were walking around the reservoir the other day. Tell me more. I, we've been, we've been eating well. Oh, we'll bleep that. Okay. Bleep it out. Take that out.

People were questioning why we would bleep it. And the answer was because we were like potentially talking to them to advertise. Oh yeah. No, take it out. I thought you already said it. I thought you'd already said it. There is a weird rules about average. I'm not saying nothing.

I'm lying. I just had a tick. We, so we were doing this regardless of the podcast. But also this is what we were having a fight over. Okay, great. So you just, Okay, great. Just kind of twisted the knife there.

Okay, great. So I'm, I've, I've got, I've, uh, Frank Gillespie called it bubble guts, which is a great, Oh yeah. Love bubble guts. Like an expression. It's, it's, it's, it's, and I've been eating salads and like my, my guts hurt.

Yeah. And so, and you gave me some great recommendations, but I was walking with Jack and I had an emergency. I thought I was going to pass out and I was like, I like pass out and then like shit in my pants. Then that's the worst scenario ever for poor Jack. Yes. I wonder what he would do.

If you would just keep walking, do you just leave the, what do you, I mean, I guess you call an ambulance or something. You'd have to go bark and tell a neighbor like, My owner, Jack has pants. And took a nap to public and shitting his pants. Knowing Jack, I know what would happen if you like shit your pants and died is that he would laugh until his soul left his body.

Who is Jack? He would like the weasels and Roger Abbey. He'd laugh himself to death. Jack Allison, our good buddy. Yes. We love him. Oh, this is not, this is not, this is a human.

Human being. I thought you were taking somebody for a walk. That's why I said barking. You're walking a dog? I don't know. Okay. Okay. I thought you were walking a dog.

I'm wondering what was going to happen to your, I understand your friend. It's not Jack Macklemore or Jack from Seattle. Jack Allison, our good. Jack is in Seattle. That's kind of a crazy question. No, you can't. You can't just say your pants and die in front of your friend.

I could, but I was like very nervous. And then I, I, I called up Susser and I was like, there's an emergency. I like, can I, can I use your office? He has an office. Yeah. And he gave me the code and, and to, to get in and I, I went in and I used Susser's office

and he told me later that when I called and was panicked as I was, he thought that someone was dying. He thought that I was like around someone who had like fallen and needed help. But I went into his bathroom, we saved the day, Suss did, and then I walked by the building the next day and they were demolishing it. Your work was done.

Your work was done. I feel, I'm getting such a strong sense of deja vu. Did we talk about this on the podcast? You maybe were told about it. We were, no, we've talked about it. I just can't remember if we talked about it on the pot or not. Emma, do you know? Casey, do you know?

Um, I don't think so. Okay, I don't think we talked about it. I think we talked about it in the text chain. That's what it was. We were maybe just talking about it. We talked about it in the text chain, yeah. When I started eating healthier, my stomach was very upset for a few months

and I had to take some of the stuff I told you about. That's, that's, that's, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to try it. And then I, and I had to do some like steamed vegetables because I was like, the raw was killing me. Oh yeah. Or do you like spaghetti squash? That's good.

Like stuff like that. Yeah, stuff like that. That was good. I had to do cooked for a little bit because my tummy was like, what is this? Yeah. It's too much. Brown rice, I am like, that's been helpful to me.

But I, but I, uh, it's. The Bart diet, banana, apple, rice, toast. Yeah. That sort of stuff. I feel like a kale will, I can't eat kale anyway. No, raw broccoli is a no. Yeah. All that, like the raw cauliflower is a no.

It's killing me. It's got to be steamed for a little bit. But again, today, same thing. I just was chugging. I chugged this bottle. I like a gas X too. I might have. I'm going to, I think I'm going to try all of these.

I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, you know what? It's going to, I'm going to have a little bit of an experimental, experimental phase. Yeah. With this stuff. Yeah. It's going to be a curious week for you.

I'm going to, I'm going to be, I'm going to, I'm going to try probably all of those things and try to figure out what's going on. But you're doing great. I'm doing okay. Making progress. That's the reason I'm cranky. Things are going crazy.

First of all, I got trapped in my bathroom the other day. No. Wait. This is new to me. That's scary. I have a fear of that. The Quincy boys are coming to town. To me.

They're coming to town tomorrow. For a day. Micahs, Wu Tang, Chankton. Hot. Scoop. Scrooves not coming. We're trying to get you away to come.

Chankton lives up near like San Jose. Nice. And then we're the two California boys. Sanjo Bro. San, Sanjo Bro. And then Wu and Wu Tang and Micahs are coming from Quincy. Got it. So I went into the guest bathroom and I was like, you know, washing towel of guest bathroom.

That sucks. I went to the office. You're a single man who has a place and there's a second bathroom. What are you supposed to say? Okay. People are going to be like, I mean, they will say that. He's extremely rich. He has a guest bathroom and his manners.

Like you have a fucking. I have a second bathroom. You have a play. You have two bathrooms. I went in there to get to get to get bath, like to get like their towels and stuff. And when I opened the door, I was like, that was weird. And then I was like, I closed it again when I was in the inside and it would not open and it wasn't locked.

And I was like, what was your plan? What was your plan? Kick down the door. I like had just so luckily grabbed my phone and I was like, so I had my phone. Yeah. I texted my cat sitters at Caroline and Vincent. And I was like, this is embarrassing. I think I'm locked in the bathroom.

Nice. And they were like, again, I was like, again, uh, this hasn't happened before. And then they were like, we can come and get it. Well, like we have to go get your key, but we can come and get you. If I didn't have my phone, I would have been so much more scared. Yeah. There's a window. I would have been able to like yell, I guess, but, but.

How long until they came and got you out? So about 15 or 20 minutes later or something. No, no, no, no, they had to go back home. They were like, we're going to go back home. But I was trying the door and then I finally got the door open. Okay. And then, and then they were like, I was like, you don't have to come. I'm, I'm, I'm fine.

So they didn't, they didn't have to end up coming. I actually was probably working the door for like 15 or 20 minutes before I texted them. You've had a tender week. You're feeling a little vulnerable, a little shaky. By the way, I think people will hear and go, Mitch is a nice host. Mitch is taking clean in the bathroom for his friends, boys. Right. Like his pals are coming.

They're just wondering some towels. Yeah. And by the way, you're 40. You can have a second bathroom. Thank you. And you can play 28. Yes. Thank you.

Yeah, exactly. And you can. Wash all the jackoff towels and making sure they're clean. You got to wash the jackoff towels. You got to put out new jackoff towels. You got to jack off into those towels and put out more towels. You've got a lot of work to do. We're going to, we're going to go to Musso and Franks one night.

You got to jack off and move us to Franks. We're going to Musso and Franks. We're going to Musso and Franks. They scream, now who's Al Gabon? The machine gun sounds with your dick as you leave. And you, hey, I literally, and then you leave. You know what I mean? It's a big week.

I think the plan is to go on Oscar night. We're going to go to Musso and Franks. Wow. Star studded. Which, which. There is now. Chankton said, Wuso and Chanks, which I thought was very funny. There you go.

That's really good. That was really good. Yeah. He could host the podcast if he wanted to. And then, so I'm like, all right, I did all this stuff. I cleaned up the place. I'm feeling good. Yeah.

Last night I hear like what sounds like a gunshot. I'm like, what the hell is that? I go over it. It sounds like it came from my fridge. I look in the freezer. Nothing there. Open it up. In my main fridge, a Coke zero just exploded.

What? It exploded. That is an option in life? I, I, there was, I overpacked my fridge. Okay. Surprisingly. Yeah. There's too much stuff.

I had some people over for the Super Bowl. Fun. And so there was like a lot of drinks in my fridge. And then you know how when you, when you overpack it, like it can get like colder in some areas. Yeah. Like Coke zero fucking. Ricochet. What's, what do you say?

Why is Peter, Peter North? Is that who it is? Yeah. Kind of Peter North though. I mean, that wasn't what I was thinking. Yeah. With this incident, but so it's a, he's a little bit more precise than that. I think.

Well, this was, who's, who's a guy who's not as precise. I mean, let's just say Peter North. All right. We'll get it. This thing, it, it, it fucking went all over the inside of my fridge. That's a disaster. Truly a disaster. You've had a heart.

You've had a tender week. I've had a tender week. We've had a tender week. Say, we've got a tender, tender match. Celtic's not doing great. Like they're not going to get the one seed. You're on the hat. You're a big fan.

Yeah. It's a new year. The Grant Williams missing the fucking free throws. Missed two free throws. So then it went, after he said he was going to hit both, went to overtime and the Cavaliers won. I thought this. I don't send videos of the Lakers losing whatever game they've just lost.

Well, it was a good piece of video. I wasn't taunting you. We were talking to, we're just, we're just talking to sports generally. I was trying to sympathize with you because like I feel like Coach Missoula is maybe, this is a very talented roster that should maybe should be. Missoula is a dumb ass. I think Missoula is maybe kind of dumb. I don't know.

He knows more than me about basketball, but I don't know. I will say that I've maybe questioned him a little bit when they were like, what do you think of Prince Harry or whatever or Prince William being at the game? And he's like, there's only one Prince in his name is Jesus or whatever. Oh, I was thinking there's only one Prince in the musician. I would have liked that. That would have been his Purple Mountain Majesty. Which is also already like a, maybe like the future king and I don't figure out what

the word is. Yeah, Jesus is a prince. I thought he was the king, the fine king of the Jews. No. Oh, Jesus. Right. Well, I mean, maybe they, I'm sorry, maybe they said like the future king. The future king.

Oh yeah. There's only one king. Still kind of a stretch. Kind of a stretch. Kind of a stretch. Hey, look, if he wins it all, I'm going to church with him. I don't give a shit. Yeah.

But if he doesn't, I think he's a dummy. I got to say that documentary about the Chicago Bulls. Yeah. This is one of the best things I've ever seen. Oh yeah. Chicago Bull Doc is the Jordan documentary. Yeah. I've never seen anybody better at taking somebody like attacked and then like, let me use you

at all fronting me and now I will destroy you. Yeah. Incredible. It's, it's. I didn't know the Detroit Pistons were so scrappy. The bad boys. The bad boys. The bad boys.

They were bad, they were bad boys. Yeah. I didn't know. Now I know. The Coke Zero, I said, I told you was like when you went to Dave's Hot Chicken, which now maybe has come back to haunt me because I'm having a similar day. Oh boy. Maybe I'm getting the karma.

Oh boy. That's right. We're going to turn it around here. We're going to turn it around. I feel like we are turning it around. We're turning. It's already softened. This is, yeah, 100% and talking about.

You tell me you're all good bones. False advertising. It's already softened. We're, and we're, we're talking about something a little bit healthier that we're putting in our bodies this week. That's right. For this entire month, the Munch Madness Bowl. I'm curious, Arden, as someone who has modified their diet.

Sure. Like, like, do you have a go-to kind of like healthy meal? Do you have like, like, okay, well, I got to eat something that just pure sustenance. In real life. Yeah, in real life. That I, first of all, you need to know, as you know, I'm a garbage person. Right. I just reiterate, if you forgot, I am pure trash.

Yes. I do not know how to cook. I can feed myself. I would never feed you. Do you want to know what I eat every night? What's that? Let's hear it. It's so disgusting.

I roast cauliflower and carrots, but I always accidentally burn them. And then I take, with care, I do garlic powder. Then I put. Right now we're on board. Yeah. And then I take it out to flavor it up. I put keto ketchup on it. Okay.

Okay. Sometimes I do this. Then I make. Okay. Then I make. I make what I like to call. This is. You slightly lost me already.

Of course, because it's disgusting. Then I will make what I call egg pizza, where I. Kind of back on board. Let's hear this. That sounds good. So I'll take three egg whites and like fry them in a pan. You lost me again a little bit. Then I take.

This is the healthy. You asked healthy. Yes. Yeah. So that I can eat like trash in between. Sure, sure, sure. So this is what I'm, I wouldn't make it for you. Sure.

Lauren Lapkus has seen it and is like, what the fuck are you making? But Brian's soft. He is like, I want that. So it depends how much of a rat you are. She likes herself more than we do. So she, me, Brian and I. So, so, so then. So then I also love like peanut butter powder, but PB fit is my number one.

But hold on. Okay. Okay. Do you want a side note of that? So PB fit. I like so much. I can't keep in my house because I want to marry peanut butter, but it's like, have you ever had PB fit?

I've never had PB fit. Do you love peanut butter? This is the first time I've heard of it. Okay. So Brian was, Brian and I traveled and both of us are like orphan raccoons. The, by the end of the vacation, every surface was covered in peanut butter powder because basically we, now the rest of us know how to cook. It comes in a big vat.

Yeah. It's basically dehydrated peanuts, but so like as the normal scoop of peanut butter, like two scoops of service that has like 200 calories on like 13 grams of fat. This has like 70 calories and like two grams of fat. You just add water and it tastes like regular peanut butter and you can microwave it. We make disgusting, but we like nobody else likes some, but Brian and I, if you mix it with like pumpkin and like maybe a little egg, some cocoa powder stuff, you microwave it.

You make a little lava cake. You can put like a little dark chocolate in it. You heat it up. Like the peanut butter powder is like a binding agent. It's so good. That's what I'm trying to be helping. The egg pizza, I've got two, I guess that I was trying to work out how it ties into the egg pizza.

Right. That's my dessert. Okay. That's your dessert. Got it. That's my dessert. All right. Thank God.

That's my dessert. I'm still on board. So then we have to say about dehydrated peanuts. It's so funny. Good grief. I don't want you to try it. You would like the PBFET. You would like the PBFET.

I should have brought you a little scoop that I make eggs and put it on brown rice cakes. I put a little like earth-balanced butter marinara. I put the eggs on top and then I microwave it with Parmesan. It's delicious. It sounds disgusting. A lot of components. Disgusting. Disgusting.

And what are you using? Are you using like a keto marinara? I mean, if this is like marinara or... Disrags. Disregular. Okay. There's a way where this seems like maybe a modified omelet. Yeah, it's disgusting.

Pretada maybe? Like a frittata. Pretata, Jason. Ketchup on an omelet. No, the ketchup is on the vegetables because I'm classy. Got it. That's... Because I'm just like Jennifer Lawrence.

But you're getting protein. You're getting... She's one of us. You're getting healthy starches. You're getting dietary fiber. That's right. That's right. Vitamins.

That's my healthy... Because then I like to go out to eat. So, like, am I in between, I've got protein from the egg and the cheese, I've got grain from the brown rice cake, I've got some fat from the like earth balance, I've got my veggies and I've got my flavor. What do you eat? I... What do you eat?

Great question. We're not... We're not... We're not putting on trial. We're not putting on trial. Look, it's... No one's on trial for what they eat. By the way, I'm not proud of this.

Uh-huh. But I love it. I'm embarrassed. I feel shame. Yes. I would try it. You would like it. I'd try it.

I think I would probably like it. You would like it. I... Yeah, it just seems like there's so many concentrated flavors in there. I bet it tastes pretty good. It actually does. Yeah. The people who've gotten past the fact that that's what I'm eating and I've gone, give

me a bite, I've gone... It's actually pretty good. The ketchup on... It's a college food. Yeah. The ketchup on cauliflower and carrots is my biggest hurdle. That's the... That's the hardest part for me.

You know what? The bougie side, I've had people force their way into trying it. If you put the... If you want to be bougie, if you've ever had the chili, the momofucco chili oil crunch, you can put that on. That's the fancy version. That's fun. I like that version way more.

You can have that. I'll make that for you. That'll be my dinner party. Especially keto ketchup. I'm like, how does keto ketchup taste? It tastes really good. You have to get the... It's not cheap, but there's a brand I'll tell you that I like.

But it's not... It doesn't have the added sugar that a Heinz does. That's right. But it tastes... It actually tastes really good. Okay. Wags and I didn't know about this peanut butter, peanut butter powder. It's legitimately so good, and you can literally just make it into peanut butter.

You just add a little water. I put a little salt in because it's not quite salty enough. The best kind is PB Fit. We're going to be doing bumps of it before it shows. It's just so exciting to make a joke about doing lines of this. There's a thin film of peanut butter powder all over every surface, like the eye... It's like a trail. They cancel and gruddle.

Like me with peanut butter powder. You're going to love it. On tour, our carry-on, we get arrested for having just full with fucking PB Fit. Ryan ordered it. He was embarrassed to order it because we were freeloading for my brother in Rhode Island at the house. I was like, he ordered it. He was like, oh, this will last the whole time.

We'd eaten that whole thing in three days. We had to order two more. You're going to love it. I think we... A powdered peanut butter sounds great to me. You're going to love it. It is. It's better for you, obviously, then.

Yeah. Okay. Apparently, a lot of bodybuilders use it. They put it in the product. It's not what I'm doing, but... I'm good friends with a lot of guys like that, so I guess I'll just ask them. Yeah. Other brand is PB2.

I like PB Fit. Wow. Mm-hmm. You mentioned Rhode Island. Yes, sir. You're a very, very funny book. Lil Miss, Lil Compton. Talks about Rhode Island.

I'm curious because we're talking, so we're just so bowl-centric here. Yes. Yeah. Chowder, I know, is such a thing. Yeah. In New England. And there is a Rhode Island clear chowder, which I don't know if we've talked about on the podcast before.

You look befuddled, but... Clear chowder, you get quicker. I've never seen... I've only seen the very, very thick creamy chowder. Uh-huh. Like TSA Pre-Check Clear? Yes. Oh, there you go.

There you go. I understood. There you go. It took a second, but I got it. There you go. It took me a second. You have to see your eyeballs. Yeah, yeah.

No, no. It's like... You're doing great. We never got the name. You're a champion. I never got back on track after I fought with Y. You've been doing great. You know what?

You could restart your day at any time. I said, let's just start with going to county right now. We're not going to nationals. Let's start with going to county. You're a champion. You've been scoring left and right. It's my sadness. It's my sadness.

County with all these fucking chumps at county? It sucks. Wait, if we can't beat county, come on. That's a good point. That's a good point. You guys can't lose. We got this. That's a good point.

I want to return to clear chowder because you look confused. I've never seen clear chowder. This is interesting because I know this is the thing I've seen served at places of like, hey, this is Rhode Island style chowder and it's a different approach to than the Manhattan or the New England clam chowder. I've only seen New England. The clear of the chowder. Oh, yeah.

I've only seen New England, too. I mean, like, I've seen the Manhattan clam chowder, the red one, right? Have I been lied to? Did you have a Del's? You've been lied to. No, it's real. It is real. I'm not really a pilot.

Did you have a Del's frozen lemonade in Rhode Island? No. Wait, didn't we talk? Didn't we do? We talked about doing it. Yeah, we were talking about going to go. Or coffee milk? No.

We have not done that, but we talked about it. We didn't do that. Oh, because Del's have the, Del's have the, what do they call them? The beers that are half juice. The Chandy's? Chandy's. The Del's juice. Del's juice.

Del does a, it does a Chandy's. I mean, I know it's known for lemonade, but. By the way, you know that I, my obsession with D'Angelo's, you said you had a really nice experience at D'Angelo's. Love D'Angelo's. Insanely tasty. It's really good. It's like so much better than I expected to chain sandwich place to be.

He said D'Angelo, yes. I believe. Whoa. I did say D'Angelo, yes. Yeah. What did you have? Did you have a grinder or did you have a pocket? This is a great question.

And I wonder if I can look through my notes and dig it up, because we got so many sandwiches. This was at one of our live shows, Mitch. I believe this was with Gabris and Carl. Then Gabris and you and Carl kind of like, we're going to be meaner to the other restaurants. They didn't live up to D'Angelo's. They didn't live up to D'Angelo's. Guess what? He's coming back to Quincy, or to Boston.

Wags is, and he said that he's going to stay longer this time. When are you doing it? I think in June, right, Wags? When are we doing it? I'll look that up. If you're there, I want to come. Wow. I want to come.

Wow. Wow. That might be there. That's amazing. That would be, I mean, that would be huge for us. I don't know if you know where you're getting yourself into. I want to come. I want to come.

I'm a monster. It's, it would be very, it's in Medford. We're doing a show on Medford. I know Medford. We're doing a show on Medford. Yeah. Beautiful. Medford Mass.

Oh, I know Medford. Yeah. Medford. Medford. Yeah. Medford. Sounds like a guy in your crew. Medford?

Yeah. Yeah. Medford sounds like the smartest guy. Medford would move you. If you were like, ah, I broke up with my girlfriend, he'd show up with his truck and move you. No questions asked. He'd loan you like a crate to use as like a side table. Medford sounds like, I mean, because I don't, Medford isn't like a, but as a name, it's

not like Medford is like a really smart part of town or something like a, but I'm saying like as a name, it sounds like a bookie. It's bougie. Sounds like a brainy guy. It's a brainy guy. It's a brainy guy. He's, he's will hunting in a way. Uh, here's the, here's the rundown of what we got from D'Angelo and let us know, Arden,

if we, if we did things right. We got a, a lobster roll and a lobster sandwich. Hot. We got a Thanksgiving toasted. I believe this was a, was a midget recommendation. Fuck yeah. We got the number nine, which is chicken, onion, peppers, mushrooms, and American cheese. That's my girlfriend.

We got, we got a Greek wrap with the Greek dressings. Their dressing is insane. Great dressing. Great dressings. And Italian toasted. Ooh. A cheeseburger. Wow.

So you guys were dieting. And some clam chowder, which we were just talking about. And I mean, why did it spread? Do you have a memory? Do you have like a physical reaction of which one you're like, ooh, that was the one that really like, did it for you? So here's the thing. We went to the other plot, the other, on the other New England chains we went to Kelly's

roast beef. I got another joke. I say it. Yeah. Thanksgiving toasted. Sounds like a Thanksgiving at the Erdbrink house. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That was good. You're back on track. You're back. I felt like you. You almost perked up. As you said that. I also liked that, that Emma was like, Emma's like doing work for us.

And I'm like, looked up and was like, yep. That's right. Sure. But it did bring you back to life. It brought me back to life a little bit. You have to step. Thanksgiving toasted brought me back a little bit. Yeah.

I like that. I'm not going to lie. That Thanksgiving toasted was good, but to answer your question, the thing that really like kind of crystallized D'Angelo was like, oh, this is a standout chain is we had gone to Kelly's roast beef. We got the fucking, the lobster roll there. Which was $30. It was so expensive.

It was a monster chain. We went to D'Angelo. Still an expensive sandwich at a chain restaurant to get the lobster roll. Lobster's not cheap right now. Right. But it was, it was better. It was like, this is, this is noticeably better than the Kelly roast beef version. And bigger too.

I'll fucking, you come back to Quincy. I'll catch you a fucking fresh lobster. I'll jump down there and get it myself. I'm going to go to a fucking fresh lobster roll. You think I can't get you? There's a place people drive in Tiverton right near my, like they come, you come, you see it. You look over the water.

You get a fucking lobster roll. Are you kidding me? You come to the commons lunch in Little Compton. They got fucking lobster roll. We'll take a boat out. We'll go out to a lobster. Rob's trap. We'll just pull one out.

The lobster fishmen get pissed. Yeah. Oh, they'll be pissed. Are you doing characters? Are you being yourselves? On myself. Okay. On myself.

Okay. Got it. I, I became his like cousin sully. That was like, yeah. Well, look, we have a lot of bull related content to discuss. Right. We're going to get into the tournament champions right after this break. We'll be back with more.

Oh shit. Oh shit. This show is brought to you by better help. You know, Mitch, I learned something new about myself recently. I learned I can stick to a bedtime routine. Wow. I can go to the bed at bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every day and stick to that because getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because

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box. Do it. Welcome back to Doughboys. We are here with Art and Maureen. For Munchmanus 2023, the tournament of champions, Bowl, the semi-soft finals, Kava versus Sweet Finn. Art and before we get into things, you're drinking cold brew right now. I've never had one.

You've never had cold brew. No. Your first ever cold brew you're having on the Doughboys podcast. Look, it was my first time having cold brew, I think I would like maybe go insane. I can't even drink cold brew. You warned me that it's a lot. Yes. It's like the fentanyl of coffee.

It's just straight coffee. I'm trying to kind of, I put a lot of ice in and I'm trying to kind of face it up. It's intense. I put a lot. I'm liking it. You want to have a specific type of diarrhea? I have some cold brew. Oh, I'll be having diarrhea later.

Don't worry. Luckily, I have a jumpsuit, so it'll be hard to get it to my pants. That's what Jack and I were talking about. There were scooters and I was wearing sweatpants and I was like, what's better for me to like have to like go shit in like a bush or is it worse if I'm like scootering home and just like shitting my sweatpants on the scooter? I need you to know and I'm going to throw my brother onto the bus here. I might also just say I've shat in public before.

I've shat my pants in public. I shat with Jack before when I was going to Lake Tahoe. Yes. So I'm not trying to say I'm not better. So my brother one year, I think he shat his pants maybe two days in a row and he said it was always right when it was like, this was years ago. He's not very successful. He's a family man now, but he was in New York, I think it was after a New Year's Eve coming

home and it was right when he got in his building and the way he likened it and I feel like you can relate. He said it's like his kidneys got excited like golden retrievers that knew they were going to the beach. Yes. Like they were close to home and they started doing like laps like, oh shit, we're close. It's always when you're kind of close to the and they start wagging their tails and going around and then it's just over.

Yeah. It's like you're near, but you don't get the key in the door and then you're shitting your pants in public. No, I've definitely started peeing or shitting with pants on while I was looking at a toilet. It was that close and it's just like, I've done it this year. Yeah. It's like a picture you're also just being in the bathroom and like not making any effort and just looking at it and going, I choose this, this is my choice.

You don't have power over me totally. Yeah, I'm not in the mood today. Um, yeah, I think scootering away, shitting your pants is the most would be more embarrassing there. You just have to go to it. Like everybody shits in the bushes in public once a year. That's where we pay taxes when I was when I was driving with Jack and that's the first time he ever, I almost saw him laugh himself to death.

Yeah. I went to the side of the road and I shit off the side of the road. Yeah. And then when we were driving back, there was a father and son looking at the view like in my shit spot. Like the sock was, I had to use a sock. Yeah. I, every time I go jogging, I've, I've like shat on neighbors, lawns, I'm shat, I'm shat

everywhere. Yeah. No, there's something about like the, just the motion of running and it feels like it biomechanically, it shouldn't be that simple, but you're just shaking everything up. Jostling everything up. Jostles it all into place. And then again, if you get close to home, but you're not quite there, the golden retrievers come out.

You'll think of that next time you shit your pants. I think that I've sweat more from having to shit or almost shit than I have from any workout I've ever done. You know what? That's right. And that's the American way. A few apartments ago, someone shit in our alley, buy our laundry room once and then like had a pair of boxer briefs that they'd clearly wiped themselves with and then just

like kind of neatly folded and put on top of the pile of shit and I kind of was like, I just remember looking at it and kind of being like, you know what, they do the best they could. This is clearly an emergency. We all been there. Yeah. What were they supposed to do? Got away.

Good on them for the gorgeous Marie Kondo fold. And it's like, that doesn't smart joy anymore, I'm gonna leave this here. The shit is in like a little bow. It's a little square. How do they do that? It's a little square. Yeah. Good on them.

Yeah. That's because they like themselves. Amen. Well, look, Kaba defeated Sweetgreen in the work lunch region, Sweetvin beat Poké Bar in the Poké region. That gives us our current matchup. And what would it turn out to be Mitch? Yes.

Look, just like the 2020 election, I'm maybe having voters remorse with my, with my, with with Kaba over Sweetgreen. Wow. I'm, we'll get into it. I'm shocked as I, I'm shocked that Kaba beat Sweetgreen. I have to say. We were surprised too. Mitch and I both picked Kava and it was a tough decision, but I will say, I think Kava

maybe does deserve to be here. Well, it's like last year. I'm not saying Kava doesn't deserve to be here. We picked Ben and Jerry's over, or over Cheesecake for dessert. Yeah. We picked Ben and Jerry's, but they earned it. Exactly. I'm gonna say this.

I do think Kava deserves to be here. Yes. I'm saying I've grown to really enjoy Sweetgreen. Sweetgreen is great. I think I got Kava Sweetfin. I love Sweetgreen. Sweet, Sweetgreen has, has, has kind of won me over a little bit. It's showing you a little ankle.

It's showing me ankle. It's, hey, you know, it's showing me more than ankle. It's showing you side cleavage. I mean, that, that gets me cross-eyed, but I, I, uh. Time for a jack with walk. Walk. I'm not going to believe what I saw today. Yeah.

Tell me about it. He, he gets off on just what I tell him. Side cleavage. Yeah. Um, I, uh, I, I try to eat healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Sweetgreen has been a real, and then I'm like, oh, I can do, I can do some rice in the salad.

That's like such a huge, and also that sort of thing that we talked about is like just going all salad is like hurt your stomach. I'm like, the fact that I got like the sweetgreen wild rice in there, kind of like solidifies it up or something. Yeah. It's like a roast mushroom. There's some roast things. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's, and that's another thing too. I'm, I'm starting to come around on sweetgreen. Unfortunately, we eliminated it from the fucking tournament. Well, look, we always have fat chance kitchen or losers bracket. It's true.

Sweetgreen could work its way back into the main tournament in bread dead redemption. We're going to see. Bad chance. Can't do it. Oh, wait, sorry. It's still in the tournament. I love. Are you kidding me?

It's great. It's delicious. Sweet. Well, between these two restaurants, I, there's one that I got for a long search, but also kind of similar to sweetgreen, sweetfin I came around on. I never had really, I wasn't like a poke bowl kind of guy and, and we were, well, yes, let's see. Arden, what is your issue with poke bowls?

Thank you. Well, I want to just say, I've never had either of these restaurants before. Wow. So this was really fun. Wow. I'm a fan of flavors. Oh, very much so. Lover of flavors.

Um, I want that on my tombstone. Okay. Here, for real. Um. No name, just lover of flavors. Cookias. Cookias. Um, I have to say, when I, the first one I saw on the email was sweetfin and I was

like, like, I've been avoiding this, I think it's the idea of a chain raw fish salad bowl place. Yeah. It's so disgusting to me. I'm so grossed out by a pokey chain. Like it's so revolting, like the idea that it could kind of be out all day and you're putting a bowl together, like to pull a, but it's raw fish. I was so grossed out, but I got to tell you, I liked it.

Here's, I liked it. I mean, I, I, I like it quite a bit too. And I can't remember. I liked it. I'll order from there again. Here's, here, to your point, Finn isn't appetizing. Get Finn out of there. Get Finn out of there.

Sweet bowl or like, uh, anything sweet sushi. I don't know. It's like, uh, okay. Neither of those refer to pokey, but they're just, we're just pitching them. I'm just saying, but there you go with the P. Who gets hungry when you hear Finn. I don't want to eat a Finn. I agree. The, I, I live right near here.

There's one right near here. I've avoided it for years. I will order from there now. It was delicious. My guess on the origin of the name is it's an attempt to clone sugar fish. They're like, okay, that was sweet Finn. You know, it's so sweet green, sweet green and sugar. Exactly.

It's like, it's like all the same sort of ballpark of, but, but it does not sound particularly toothsome. And like Arden, we had talked about with our buddy Oscar Montoya, uh, when we taught, we did the pokey region. I have a built in sort of revulsion to pokey, especially chain pokey. Revulsion. Yes. I love sushi.

I love it. I love sushi. But there's something about just seeing like, like it's, it's like a frozen yogurt shop, but like here's our little vat of octopus and right next to the halibut. It just, it seems a little gross to me. That said, I had good outings for sweet Finn so far. And we've, we've said the thing that is grosser to us is the sushi burrito. But yeah, 100%.

It's disgusting. I, and I don't, I mean, I will try one for the sake of trying it, but I never want one ever. Um, I. I'm with you. I never, I never wanted to, to eat pokey and the idea of it is kind of, is kind of nasty to me. Right.

Sweet Finn also sounds like a DC villain or something. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. King shark. Sweet Finn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I agree with you. Jonathan majors is joining the DC universe finally going to be sweet Finn. It's going to be sweet Finn. Sweet Finn. I like that work. Sweet Finn. Sweet. He's like a, well, you know, they already have a shark.

I guess they could make it work. Yeah. Let's figure it out. We see movies with sharks now, they're walking around, you know what, give me a shark movie back in the ocean. Give me another Meg. I mean, there is another Meg coming. Splat.

You got so excited. You splashed water. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back to life. We like it. That's where they should keep the sharks.

Keep them in the water. Don't bring them on land. Yeah. Put them back in the ocean, I say. Put them back in the ocean. I don't want to see all these sharks walking around. Not unless it's Shark Tank and your Barbara Corcoran. Thank you.

It's great to be here. There you go. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. And I don't like sweet Finn. It reminds me of a shark Finn. I just don't get the name of it. I don't love the name either.

I agree. And the concept of poke I was against, but then I started to eat it. Oh my God. It's so good. And I like it. I loved it. I am a fan. I mean, not as much as I am a fan of like a big Greek bowl, which we'll talk about in

a second, but I do really like poke. While we're breaking down names, the name Kava, to me, maybe it has some some meaning in Greek that I'm not aware of it. To me, it just kind of sounds like I think it sounds like one of like a hundred apps that you might have. Yeah. Like I got Kava. It helps me.

I forgot about it. Yeah. Kind of a nothing name. Yeah. No good. Kava sounds a little bougie though. Like Kava to me doesn't sound like a chain. Kava sounds like, oh, it's Friday night.

We're going to go to Kava. You know what I mean? It's to get like a wine cellar. We're going to go like that. You know, Kava. Oh, I know Kava. Like it's got that back room with the cigar bar. You know what?

In like 2004, it would be the best restaurant in LA. Yeah. It's like West Hollywood. We're heading over to Kava. Yeah. You know, it's like they've got like a Bravo show. They film there. Right.

Kava feels a little bougie. It is. I think that is though kind of their branding. They are trying to be like, this is the upscale like work lunch set. I mean, they started in D.C. and so I think that's a big part of it is like just power lunches. Yes. You know, people who work for lobbying firms.

Look, we're going to talk about both of these, but bitch, it's a tournament of champions, which means we have extensive guidelines decreed by Commissioner Susser. Oh, fucking shit. It's time for chew rules. I can tell you, I can tell you when a big bowl of poke is not what you want is after you've chugged half a bottle of Pepto Bismarck. You did that to yourself. How did I do that to myself?

I don't know. You chose to do that. You should have not had the fish. You should have chosen the edamame or something. The issue is I put in my order last night and then today. You didn't know that Satan was going to move into your body. And then you know what? I'll, I'll a little, a little spoiler alert.

Can I say this? Yeah. Yeah. It's because of Chipotle. Wow. Ooh. Another semi-soft finalist. Will it affect next week's matchup?

We're going to find out. I had, I got the hot sauce at the red sauce at Chipotle before I'd never had it before. Never had it. That's my go-to sauce. I never had it. Wow. It fucking kicked my ass. Yeah.

It's the sneaky spicy. Everybody knows you're a delicate flower. I am a delicate flower. I know. Fucking, I am a big, beautiful, delicate flower. You're like a peony. Yeah. A big, beautiful flower who had red salsa diarrhea powering through.

I love that. My mom used to read me that book at night as a child. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. All right. That was a beautiful tale. Were you in the night kitchen? Was that the one with the little kid?

Yeah. That's right. Covered in diarrhea. Little kid was kind of naked. In red sauce. That's right. That's right. It was written by the, Laurie Sendak.

Yes. I don't remember. I don't remember that. It was the same guy that did really rosy. Are you checking out your library app right now? Yeah. Yeah. He's not naked the whole time though.

Got it. He falls into like a batter suit at this point. Yeah. Yeah. It was really cute. Also, he's got quite the peace on him. Huge dog. If you give a mouse a cookie, a big one.

Oh, that's a good one. That's a classic. Yeah. You can ask for some milk. Yeah. Wasn't there, oh yeah. If you give a moosa muffin, the sequel. I don't know if people know about the sequel.

Less heralded. I feel like it was just kind of a more of the same, you know. I don't know if I've ever read it. It's on my to read list this year. Are you good reads? I believe in you. We're doing the Mitch One Book Challenge this year. Wow.

Yeah. Are you reading Moby Dick? No, I gotta. A bunch of our friends are reading Moby Dick. I hear it's a lot of whales for many, many people. Yeah. I think there's a chunk where you're like, okay, New Bedford, let's wrap it up. Right, yeah.

I mean, I was saddest of all with the descriptions of the whales because I knew that the narrator was just trying to escape his own twisted prison or whatever the fuck. It's from the whale. Have you seen the whale? No. Did I? The Wild Moby. I think the acting is very good.

Who's in it? Brenda Frazier is good at it. Oh, the whale! Yeah, the whale whale. Yes. You know, I auditioned for it. I guess I didn't get it. Not to play the whale.

Not to play. I guess I didn't get it. I mean, I would love it if you had played the whale. I would have loved to see you in the whale. If Arden showed up in the whale, that's an extra star or two. I would have loved to play the whale. I would have gotten a method. I would have gotten right to regular peanut butter.

I would have gotten regular pizza, not egg pizza. Oh, what I would, McFlurries. But you would have been having fun and if you see the whale, there's no fun to be had. No, it's not enjoying those meatball subs. We'll talk about it afterwards. I was going to ask you what part you auditioned. I auditioned. I was like a person coming over to the house, but it was like a big, maybe an X or something?

I had a big part. I had a big part. I think, you know who got it? I think Lily Rabe. Samantha Morton, I think is in the movie. Samantha Morton. Then Samantha Morton got it. There you go.

I guess I didn't get it. Oh, I could think it was probably Rabe when you said that too. I did a good audition. I have to say I did a good job. I don't even know if they watched it. I remember I had to film it New Year's Eve one year. I'm thinking, really? You need to watch this New Year's Eve?

Do you know who I heard? What a great industry. What a wonderful profession. The values of time. Yeah. Treat you with dignity and respect. Yeah. This is what you're going to do with your time.

I have to get in today. Yes. Okay, great. Do you know who I heard audition for the role of the whale? It was between Brendan Fraser and Payakon. Oh, well Payakon, I mean, it would have been crazy at the box office to have him be in two huge movies at the same time. Yeah.

He would have been good. Yeah. He would have been good, but I'm glad the way it worked out. Yeah, yeah, me too. Like, if you flip their two roles and Brendan Fraser is in Avatar the Way of Water and Payakon is in the whale. I don't think either of those movies works as well. I think Brendan Fraser is really good, so I think it maybe could work.

I think he'd be great. And I think Payakon is really good too. Yeah, he's also good. So I think Payakon in the whale, this is probably gibberish to you, so I apologize. No, I'm here for all of this. Payakon is in Avatar II, the Way of Water. He's a whale in the Avatar world. Yeah.

Well, he's a Tolkien, a whale-like creature. Yes, he's a Tolkien, the whale-like creature. That's right. But I think Brendan Fraser could have done a good job in Avatar II. Yeah, he would have been great. Yeah. I wonder what it would be. Would he be in the suit from the whale or would he be in a pike?

Like, would he be in a Tolkien suit, rather? I think what you do is you just get him in one of those mocap suits and just scale him up. Yeah. Just like, you know, you just take Photoshop and look, increase him like 8000%. And then this, check me if I'm wrong here, but like, would you have meatball subs floating in the water? Yeah, I guess so.

But I guess it's more like the whale world. Yeah, that's right. Okay, all right. It's glowing. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Well, you know, speaking of the whale-wigs, it's one of the rules. Read those rules. That's right. It's time for two rules. Today's woke food culture means you get dragged if you order coffee that's not fair trade. Well, I think we need to get rid of AOC and bring back ALEE. Let's stop talking about preferred pronouns and instead talk about preferred proteins. And this restaurant better have a men's bathroom.

All right. Chew rules. Rule number one, salad ain't valid. Bowl is the goal. No salads. Rule number two, chili is silly. Chili is not considered. Rule number three, stew won't do.

Bowl of viscosity must be above stew level at minimum. We want goop, not soup. Rule number four, when it comes to strikes where the bowling alley, not the batter's box. That's right. Strikes aren't bad. They're good. Three strikes, you're in. The Mitchedendom.

Two strikes, you're also in. That's called a 7-10 split decision. Rule number six, drinks are in the gutter. Sides are also in the gutter. Rule number seven, however, drinks are in the nutter. Sides are also in the nutter, which means you can consider both. Rule number eight, cookies are oaky, but are they Christmasy? Cookies may be considered.

Cookies may not be considered, rather. Every guest must be asked the question, is Christmas a cookie holiday? Which I will ask you now, Arden, is Christmas a cookie holiday? Obviously, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Hard yes.

Snickerdoodle, honey. I do love a Snickerdoodle. Obviously, you're not a monster. I like a Snickerdoodle too. I took a stance just recently that cookies are bad. I really had to walk that back. You walked it back pretty quickly. A cookie ice cream sandwich with Snickerdoodles.

It's fucking great. It's so fucking good. You want to know what my favorite ice cream is? Fuck. What's that? McDonald's ice cream. If I could make that. Like the soft serve?

Yeah. Yeah. McDonald's ice cream is fucking great. It's so fucking good. If I could make a Snickerdoodle McDonald's ice cream sandwich, are you kidding me? Sounds great. Or the Ben & Jerry's that we had last year, that was gorgeous. Yeah, good stuff.

I would love that. I've got a nice chew in this Snickerdoodle. There's a little chew, like the texture has a nice chew. One hundred percent. I might have to go take a jack with walk. Is it giving you side tip? Are you getting side tip excited? This whole thing is giving me side tip.

Isn't Mrs. Claus giving you a little side tip? Rule number nine, when it comes to bread, there's more that will be said, which is rule number 10, chips are also bread. And Mitch, you mentioned the whale, but the whale is actually not a rule. It's part of the rating. It's part of the rating. This was a new thing that you added that would get a refresher. Sorry, there's two long annoying bad things that we do.

The rules. Yeah, that was the first one. And that's also the shorter one. Yeah. All right, first up, cava. I'll say this as a reminder for everyone, I am not eating meat this month because I think part of the idea of a bowl place is it should be healthful. It should have plant-based options.

Yeah. And so that's what I'm going for. And so at cava, I got the lentil avocado bowl. Let me read the description here. A plant-based bowl that's all about texture. This is vegan. Great for when you want to feel healthy but don't want to sacrifice flavor. Nice.

With falafel, roasted veggies, roasted eggplant, hummus, avocado, pickled onions, Persian cucumber, lentil tabbouleh, cabbage slaw, spinach, supergreens, schoog, and garlic dressing. I also got a side of- People have really been roasting you about your schoog. I don't know what a schoog is. I looked up how to pronounce it and I said it right in a previous episode, but then I forgot what it was this time. You sound like freaking shaggy, dude.

Schoog. Schoog. Schoog. We're in trouble, schoog. We are in trouble. We're in trouble. Okay. I thought this was great.

I will honestly say, like all the textures were great. It's more at cava. I don't know if that impression is accurate in the Velmaverse. I don't know what a- Sam Richardson is, I think, shaggy in the Velmaverse. Really? Wow. I believe so. Wow.

That guy's everywhere. Good for him. Yeah. He's everywhere. I'm just gonna do the song again. Tomorrow. You know who I pictured when you said that? Sam Waterston from Lawn Order.

And I was like, that's a wild cast. I was like, of everybody in Hollywood, they picked- Is he even alive? He might not be alive. Finally, my turn to be shaggy after all these years. Finally. My teen detective. Hi. Scoop.

There was Seaman with the DNA of the victim. It's Scooch. It's Scooch. I think that kind of is what Filma does, isn't it? Wags, I made my own bowl here at cava. Can I just say real quick, it's just on my- Like so many flavors here. More is more at cava.

They just pile all the shit in. I loved all the different textures. I think their falafel is sneaky good. It's got a great crunch to it. And that was the big thing, because sometimes you get that big old bowl, and it just is like, I'm eating seven layer dip with the utensil. Sure. This one mixes up the utensils and has- mixes up rather the textures,

so you have a little bit of crunch in there, which goes a long way. And I love the pickled onions and Persian cucumber together. You know what though? Sometimes a big dip bowl is not- I love a big dip bowl. That can be good. I'm kind of with Arden. I love a big dip bowl.

That's- I love a big dip bowl. This is your note. Okay, ready? I love a big dip bowl. I love a big dip bowl. I love a big dip bowl. And it loves me. And it loves-

I can't. You got it. And it loves me. And it loves me. Whoa! You just got the part, young man. Mr. Waters. No.

Mr. Waters, then. Little secret Warner Brothers frog over here. Oh, okay. Wow. Wait, I'm saying I love a big dip bowl. It's become the new We Are The World. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

I put my hands up on your hip when I dip you dip, we dip. That's right. That's- There you go. That's something that is related to dip. Yep, that is a dip related. That's dip related. And you know what?

I love a good dip bowl. I love a good dip bowl. I love a good dip bowl. And that- you know what? That's kind of what I ended up tasting like to me. And I kind of liked it quite a bit. I got a greens and grains bowl. Same.

I don't love a good dip bowl. Oh, man. Peterson. Get out of the board. We got to change your mind. Come into the clubhouse. This now, is this a crossover with Scooby Doo? Yeah, we're solving crimes.

We're behind a painting in their eyes. I like Old Man Peterson. And he has like a little moment. Yeah, that's funny. If he was in the musical, Old Man Peterson. I remember when he was a kid, he did have a good dip bowl. I do love a good dip bowl. That's right, Mr. Peterson.

I got- well, let's see if Mr. Peterson would like this. Brown rice. Nice. Tadziki. Wow. Okay. Traditional hummus. Yep.

Crazy feta. Hot. Crazy feta. Yep. Harissa honey chicken. Hot. Half harissa, sorry. Half harissa honey chicken.

Half braised lamb. Wow. Well, there's maybe where your diarrhea explosion happened. I will say they either forgot the lamb or there was like three pieces of it in my bowl. Okay, respect. Fire roasted corn, pickled onions, tomato and onion, cabbage slaw, free side pita didn't come, Greek vinaigrette, lemon herb tahini. Whose stomach could handle corn, lamb and all of this?

You know. Yeah. But by the way, I ordered the same kind of thing. So I'm not, I guess mine. No, you're right that- That's a lot. There's like a- The corn, corn's hard to break down.

That's 100%. Corn gives me a- Corn's hard. But corn's a great, I see. I see why you got excited and added corn. That's an exciting add. And also, I think someone in the, like Reddit was like, this is the bowl I got. And I was like, oh, build your own bowl.

Yeah. And I didn't copy their bowl, but I did use some elements of that bowl. I'll say this, I maybe now get Kava more than I got it before. Fascinating. I am not sold 100% on it and they forgot my side pita and drink, but that's okay. If you're paying for it, you know, say you're at work, you're hungry, you are jonesing for that pita. And it doesn't come, you didn't care because you do this all the time, but somebody else

might care. I'll also say they didn't forget my pita this time, but they did forget it last time. Last time we reviewed it on the podcast. Okay, I mean, that's not great. No, they're not consistent with offering that side of pita. I did delivery, but to be fair, I did do it through the Kava website, which maybe they just, you know, I think they just send it out to DoorDash or whatever. Okay, let me, let me talk about one thing about the Kava app, which I think is very,

is very elegant, but side of pita, you can either check a box on your bowl and it's included, or there's a separate add a side of pita checkbox. And I feel like the second checkbox is more reliable because it looks like a different data point of receipt. I, I just like that. This is, it's kind of the sweet green thing to me now too. I'm like, I could, I could, I can change up this bowl to whatever I want it to be. If I just, I'm taking in things, taking stuff out, you know, kind of like a kava, kava,

kava, kava, kava, chameleon, create your bowl. I'm trying still. No, that made me happy. That actually really made me happy. But I was like, oh, you can, if you, if like, if you're, if you, if you experiment with what you put on there, it's kind of, it's, I get it more now. We had like, before when we ordered, we had like the plain straight up bowls and I was afraid to venture in to make your own bowl because I just didn't know how they worked.

Yeah. And now that I get it, I, I, I, I like it more. I'm a fan. I'm a, I'm a, I'm maybe a kava convert. Wow. You're a kava chameleon. I'm a kava chameleon. I am a kava chameleon.

The, the verse of kava chameleon can be like, I'm some lamb who is a protein. Oh, yes. I'm some lamb in meatball form. Well, I like that. I'm some lamb in meatball form. I don't know. Just a bit, just a bit. We're just pitching.

Yeah, that's great. I'm here for that. This isn't final. This isn't final yet. Um, but I did not get the meatball, the lamb meatballs. I got the braised lamb, which I kind of regret, regret it. I kind of regret it. I regret it, you guys.

I regret it. I regret it. Nellie goes, Nellie's go to is the lamb meatballs and she is like, they were hitting. She, she thought they really worked. Nellie would be so much better at our podcast. Yeah. She knows more about food. Yeah.

She has better taste. But I feel like don't you want, don't you want like, you know, bad things like the, the sort of, I could survive an apocalypse because I know how to feed myself with not real food. Sure. You know what I mean? I'm a garbage raccoon. I can survive.

I'm a junkyard cat. Yeah. I can survive. I think that's important. I'm not bougie and I, and I was an honest, I'm not fancy. So I feel like, like it's an honest, simple. I come at this simply. I'll, I'll, I'll say it in Nellie's defense.

She is also a very much a garbage person when it comes to food at times. She loves Arby's, loves Wiener Schnitzel. That's sexy. Yeah. You gotta put a ring on that. Yeah. I did. I like that.

Okay. Here we go. Last year. You know what? We all have, we all have, everybody likes a rascal. Yeah. All right. Here we go.

Rascal flats. Here we go. Let's hear it. I also got a green and green bowl. Wow. I'm going meat free too. Wow. I did baby spinach, right rice, black rice, tzatziki, red pepper hummus, crazy feta.

Hell yeah. I was thinking about Mrs. Claus showing a side to me and I was like, how would that, you know, don't worry about it. She'd wear an apron. There you go. Which his eyes just crossed. Okay. Yeah.

That was good. Tomato and onion. Persian cucumber, lentil tabula, crumbled feta, garlic dressing, balsamic date dressing. Wow. And salt-brined pickles. Pickles are good. Now, I'm going to be real with you. That sounds like a lot.

The size of this bowl versus the size of my pretty, pretty poquet bowl. This was like an appetizer. I got like an entire grocery store delivered me. No, the price difference was bad. You paid for it at 3-Pen. Let me be real. I'd never had this before. Loved it.

I loved, but it was small and I'm a hungry girl who likes flavor. I'm hungry. I eat and I thought if I was at an office, I'd run a little more than this. I wanted a little more grain, but the flavor, the pickled onion was so good, the falafel was so good. The sweet balsamic date vinaigrette combined with the garlic dressing, just a little of this, a little of that. I like to make a dip bowl.

Sometimes I like a dip bowl. I'll say this. I didn't want to go on the balsamic date. It was nice. It was a pretty girl. The date scared me away. I knew it would be sweet though, and it was like a healthy kind of sweet, and not the corn syrup kind of sweet way.

It's dates. Yeah. It scared me. It scared me. I was eyeing that. You would like it. It was really nice. Next time when you build a bowl again, I have to say it felt like a nice, it was nice to

get to know her. Sure. It's nice to know she's part of my options, because I do sweet green. She felt like a very, very nice chain, a very nice chain. I like it. I've come around because I think that we were both kind of so, so on it last time we did this Wags, right? Okay.

We reviewed it in DC with our friends, Jamel Bowie, and who was Carl on that show? Hart? Yeah. I think Tara was there. Yeah. And we had a, and I think Libby Watson- You've been in Washington at some point. I know that.

Yeah. We did a couple DC shows. We did one with Carl and Nangle, and one with Carl and Jamel. I think we reviewed the cover with Jamel, and anyway, but we were all like kind of in the three and a half fork range. And I think that it's kind of grown in esteem for me. Maybe they've dialed in what they do at their different locations. One opened up near me within walking distance, and it's in my regular rotation in terms of

like a healthy option. Natalie likes it. Yeah. I love Greek. You know that. I like Greek. I'm a Greek freak. I love it.

And this place is about as Greek as Chipotle is Mexican. Right. It's a little bit of a corruption of it, but it does have those flavors, and you can customize. And so I think Kava is pretty solid and has kind of grown in esteem in terms of my fandom. Does this have any legs? A guy who's only into side-tip? And she's like, oh, put those away. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Side-tip. Only legs. Dude, I don't want that fucking front-tip. Should we do that side-tip? Yeah, growth. Yuck. Yuck.

Oh. I'm sure there's a lot of people like that. That's what I want to hear. Side-tip's exciting. He's a peek-a-boo. He's a peek-a-boo. And it's also like, don't tell anyone. Don't tell anyone for your eyes only.

He gets girls gone wild and then imports the whole thing into after-effects so he can just rotate the frame. That's right. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, who's the host of that?

I went to jail. Joe. Joe something. Joe's only just seeing his side of his face. Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah. It's all in profile. Oh, hell, yeah.

Look at that profile. Man, get fucking nut to this. I liked Kava. I get to call him a block. Do you like that I'm so numb to him? Joe, his name is Joe. Joe. People used to go to his house and party in Mexico.

Yeah. Like Jennifer Aniston. They would go party at his mansion down in Cabo. A truce gum. Joe Francis. Joe Francis. Joe two first names. Yeah, Joe Francis.

I liked it. Tilting it in after-effects. Full size. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. Oh, gross. Dude was actually side-titting how it's front. Oh, come on.

Not him. Not him. Man, close your robe. You like a little peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo's fun. Peek-a-boo's fun. Peek-a-boo's exciting. Even as a straight gal, I can be like, oh, I see why I peek-a-boo's

a little side. A little wink on the side. Sure. Kava, I liked it. I'll probably have it again. I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I liked it. I'll probably have it again. I like the crispy onion. I like the dip.

I wasn't like, hello. I'm a monster. Yeah. And it felt healthy. I like, but I, there was no flavor that was really strong for me. Yeah. I was really excited for the crazy feta. Like that.

You name it, crazy feta. I'm like, I want curry. Like it felt a little very healthy, but I, there was nothing that I was like, like, mom, like I wasn't going to like eat it out of the trash. You know what? I may be disappointed with you. I might, I may be for the crazy feta was a, oh, yeah. Crazy.

Like I kind of like it. Yeah. Yeah. Fair enough. It can be good. And I'll also say in terms of fully vegan, because this one was vegan. I didn't have any, any cheese in this. It's still really tasty.

And that, that, that I think is to its credit, but I think that's also to the two sweet fins credit because the bowl I got here, which was the sweet potato pon, ponzu lime was also vegan and this ponzu lime sauce, avocado, carrots, edamame, cucumbers and an avocado. I think you're just sad something. Is there anything in your bowl that made you like, oh? Yeah. Like a little, little, little, little, little, little. Yeah.

What are you like, give it that side 10. Tzatziki. I think that honestly, I think. Well, it's a side 10 of your bowl. I think, I think the falafel. I think that I think just those, just the texture I got from the falafels kind of made me go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. My crispy onion was like, oh, my pickle dill.

And I was like, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That's what I said. But really, I think the texture I got from the falafels kind of made me go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. My crispy onion was like, oh my pickle dill. And I was like, oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

That was my pickled onion. I like to think that this happened in the Cava. And they were like, um. Um, ma'am. Ma'am. You see the guy. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Did you do that with your pickled onion? You did that with the crazy feta. I did that with the crazy. And no, I love that pickle. The pickled onion was great.

Yeah. The pickled onion was, was, was the top tier. Yeah. I liked pickled onion quite a bit. And Mitchell say this, you missed out on that, Peter, because they ate that warm pita as a scoop in component. You missed out. I liked the pita the last time I got it there.

I thought it was great. I was, I was disappointed. That's disappointing. Yeah. It's a bummer. Sweet feta, sweet feta. Can I pee before we go to sweet feta? Of course, yeah.

Thank you. I'm like a two-year-old. Here, let's do this. Mike, we'll come back and we'll talk about sweet feta. We'll be right back. Exciting. Hey, you. You craving fresh, delicious, easy meals?

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Go to athleticgreens.com slash Doughboys. That's athleticgreens.com slash Doughboys. Check it out. Do it. Welcome back to Doughboys. We are talking sweetfin now as we continue Munch Madness Bowl. Sweet Potato Ponzu Lime is what I got. Ponzu Lime Sauce, Avocado, Carrots, Edamame, Cucumbers, Napa Cabbage.

Let me just say this. That sounds good. It was good. Anyone who wants to look at our photos on social media, this thing looked like a million bucks. If you eat with your eyes and their presentation here is really on point. They got a nice bag and everything. It's a great looking bag.

It's got a fun little slogan on top of it. It's cute. It's cute. I forgot what it was. Ponzu Lime sounds nice. The sauce was quite nice and I didn't really make any modifications here. I just kind of took it as it came. The Napa Cabbage on top just kind of layered on there.

We're talking about textures and that was the thing that I held in high esteem about Cava very much the case here. The cabbage is from Napa. Is that what the ... It's what they claim, Napa Cabbage. I'm very into the combo of the sweet potato and that sauce. That all sounds so good. It was really tasty.

I think my only thing is nutritionally I could have used some protein protein. This was basically like pure starch and protein and I loved all the vegetables but man I would have liked some tofu or something in there which I guess maybe could have added. We should do a live show on Napa. Bring a bunch of dough boys, listeners and fans and us all up to fucking Napa. I would be there in a heartbeat to eat like fucking Jersey Mike's. It would be like the New Jurassic World just like fucking locusts all the fucking dough boys, listeners, eating grapes in the vineyard.

I would love that. That is a funny idea of going to Napa. Doing a Napa live show. Like high society food destination. All right, maybe we'll do that. The fattest dumbest fucks in America. Napa just stinks for months. You keep screaming show me your side tits and everybody that works at the tasting rooms.

It's 2023, you can't scream that. You can't scream that. You actually can't. That is the issue that introducing this to the show is now people will be like, man show me your side tits for the live show. I'll do it. I don't know if I can pronounce this correctly. Gochujang?

Yeah, I think you're in the right ballpark. Sam and Pocheng. I won't try it again. I don't know the brand. I don't know if it's Gochujang or I think it's Gochujang. Gochujang. So that's black garlic gochujang sauce. Sounds really good.

Asparagus, shiitake, bean sprouts, crispy garlic. Nice. Here's what I added to. So for my base, I got a large. For my base, I got bamboo rice and forbidden rice. I forgot to add that I got bamboo rice as my base. And I did half and half. What is bamboo rice?

Bamboo rice is just basically their white rice. But it has a little bit of a tinge to it. It's like a little bit gray. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's a little green. There's some sort of sweet fin magic that goes on. Maybe like a little bit of cilantro or something in there. Nice. I'm here for that.

Could be. I like both kinds of rice as I got from there. Yeah. I never, the forbidden rice that always kind of scared me off had it today. Pretty good. I love forbidden rice. Pretty good. It's exciting that it's rice.

I love that, yeah. Agreed. And it sounds like you're doing something. Side titty. Little side titty. It's a little side titty. Your patron saint. You just stand by his morals.

You just like what he's saying. Joe Francis is showing some side titty in prison now. Yeah. He's killing it. Joe Francis, future roast. Joe Francis. Bull Francis? Bull Francis.

That works. Yeah. We'll have him in the Napa show. I'm going to kill it. Elegant. I got the bowl as is, but I also added red onion, edamame. Nice. I was going to add cucumber because I like cucumber.

I don't love cucumber, but I like cucumber and pokeballs. Yeah. Interest. Also, cucumber hurts your stomach, but I didn't even think about this last night. Does it? Cucumber can be like a... Tom Tom. Yeah.

Okay. I never have an issue with cucumber on the old tummy. It doesn't really give me the rumbly. Because it has a lot of water. It's got a lot of water. Okay. I mean, from what I've heard. This is fiber.

Who knows? Look, Mama Mitchell told me this back in the day. You know what? I would never cross her. No. We don't want to question her. Why would I? I like myself sometimes, but I don't hate myself.

Because of her words, I was like, well, I also was trying to figure out. I was like, do I put edamame in here? I was like, I think edamame fits better with this bowl. Yeah. So I went edamame over... There's your protein. Cucumber. Crispy onion and avocado.

So I added all of those. I love a crispy onion. I love a crispy onion. I don't love a crispy onion. legg-a man, Peterson! Hi, I don't like it at all. Oh no! But do you remember when you were a boy?

When I was a boy He loved you a crispy. Oh y'all, he waits to do it live. Can I play him as a boy? Bar-ther! What is this, onion? It's got some crust to it. I love this!

Oh, why are you divorcing mom and leaving? That's why he hates it. That's what it was. That's what it was. But I love crispy onion and I went on to marry my mom. Anyways. That's right.

Well look, we're working it out. I just thought that. It was a workshop. We do it on the road first. Yeah. That Napa. I thought all my additions were good. Okay.

I was eating the bowl. I was enjoying it. That garlic sauce is nice. It's got a little bit of an anomami flavor. There's also, I don't think I said it in here, but there is, I feel like there is, oh, I did, the shiitakes. The shiitakes are, I think,

pickled. They were good. They were good. The shiitakes were... I was having... That's what I'm talking about. I felt the same way. I was enjoying it.

There was a lot of umami flavor in there. You were horny for the shiitake. I was horny for the... Side tip. I had a little side tip for the shiitakes. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah.

I got so thrown off. You got excited just thinking about side tip. Side shiitakes in the same room. Side tip covered in shiitakes. Shiitake also very phallic already. Yeah. Yeah. Full chode.

I was in full shiitake mode. Full chode. Thinking about the shiitakes. Sure. I was having a great time. Arden, you were like, in a great way. I was like, oh, I think I just like... Oh, oh.

I think I was just like, this is a bad mode. Yeah. I was just like, and you were like, you maybe shouldn't eat the whole bowl. I saw you eating it. Yeah. And I was like, you're right. So I stopped eating the bowl and I got a... I did a few more forks fulls of rice.

Which you loved. Which I did like. And I put the bowl in the fridge. I probably won't finish it, but I was happy with... I was very happy with my bowl. This is going to turn out to be a very tough competition. I don't know... I don't know who's going to win between the two.

Me neither. This is a real challenge. Fair to sweet fin. I looked at you with your setup of penta, opening that bowl, looking like vodka diarrhea, going, I don't feel so good. Right. Then you opened a poke bowl, covered in crispy onion and raw fish, and you proceeded to spoon it in.

And I thought, that bowl doesn't send it. You already looked like you didn't feel good. The fact that it still tasted good, that says a lot. It still was tasting pretty good. You looked almost blue beige, like sweat. You didn't look like you felt good. You were in distress. I did come in dressed up as avatar, but...

I thought you said you smirked, which were three apples tall. Smirks are three apples tall. Three apples tall. That's wild. How do you know this? They said it on the show. Cartoon. That's like my mug.

This is like a Smurf size. Three apples are fucking big. They're pretty big. They're huge. They're fucking big. Three apples tall. That'd be alarming to see. And awesome.

Gargamel needs to fucking chill out. You're trying to kill something that big. Gargamel and Azrael need to calm me up down. If they were tiny, I get it. Here, toss them in a soup. No, they're three apples tall. Three apples tall is pretty big. Toss them in some Rhode Island Chatter.

Three apples tall. That sounds like a challenge to Nick Wager. Okay. So you liked it. You fucked an apple. This was, yeah. In college, one of my friends fucked a vacuum cleaner and then it nod on his dick. That's rough.

You'll never do anybody listening. If you're looking at, that's not the thing you want to fucking your house. Yeah. Why did he fuck a vacuum? Because it had suction. People do that. Isn't that a joke in scary movie, right? Suction.

He did it. And it nod on his dick. You don't want to do it. Yeah. Don't follow Doofy's lead. Yeah, I'm just saying. Don't do like Doofy does. Their suction is like a nice size.

Their suction, you know, it's there. Why do you fuck an apple? I don't know. Well, I got that from the Henry Miller book, Tropic of Cancer. I'm not judging you. That's where you found out the fucking apple's in a book? Yeah. So it's like that's like...

Wait, what? Well, it's like... I'm not judging you. It's like a kind of 20th century modern classic piece of literature, but it's also like famously horny. Horny? It talks about it. Like how I feel about crispy onions. Yeah.

But what I'm just saying is like, there's like, there's like the high art version of this, which is the Henry Miller, you know, apple fucking. And there's the low art version of this, which is the Doofy. The Doofy. From scary movie fucking a vacuum cleaner. That's fine. Both are things you probably don't need to try. Do whatever you gotta do.

Do whatever you gotta do. I'm just saying that apple might feel better than the vacuum. You would hurt yourself. I would guess so. Just go for the apple. Go for the apple. We'll make it a double. Make it a double.

I'll talk to walk about this. We'll figure out which one we like better. We'll get you a grape. Hot. Hot. And a keyboard vacuum. Hot. Hot.

Anyway, Arden, tell us about your bowl. Yes, please. Don't judge me. Don't judge me because last time I was here, I like underordered because I didn't want to be like greedy. And then you guys ordered a lot and I was like, wait, I can do that. So then I was like, I'm going to do that. This is the longest receipt that's ever.

Look at how, look at what I ordered. Substantial. Multiple photographs. I was like, I wonder how long this is. And I looked and it is, it's long. Yeah. Look at it. It's three photos.

Three photos. Yeah. Okay. That is insane. Okay. Large, high protein plant baseball, forbidden rice. Loved it. Color flower rice because I'm healthy.

Yeah. Help noodle slaw. Fucking delish. Delish. Help noodle slaw. Cause it's like help noodles have like no calories, but it's like a, it's like a spaghetti you'd like it. Sweet potato.

Firm tofu. Vegetable pokey. Tofu. And then the tofu. I should add some tofu. Sriracha ponzu. Ponzu wine. Sometimes I like a dip bowl.

Me so sesame. Crispy garlic. Keeps going. Wow. Bean sprouts. Carrots. And a mommy. Rapini.

Chili oil. Holy shit. Pickled rice. Please. This is insane. Japanese eggplant egg. Pickled rice. Please.

This is insane. This is insane. This is insane. This is insane. This is insane. This is insane. This is insane. Japanese eggplant.

Pickled mango. Pickled ginger. You said three ingredients in one. You said, Hickima. Mango and what. Oh, it wants. That's three different things. Pickled ginger.

Crispy onion. Asparagus. Avocado. Sesame. Rice cracker. xis. Churachbi mushroom. Pickled.

That was in the bowl. That I got a couple of こぴじきゅうが citrus kale salad. Chili ginger noodles. And taro chips. Jesus. They gave me like 78 cents of new tensils. Here's the thing.

They cost $7,000. I'm going to work backwards. The first thing I had. I was hungry when I ordered it. Sure. Okay. They did eventually say you can't add. I kept trying to add on more and they were like, you're done.

Wow. The taro chips are so fucking good. They're unbelievable. They are. And they're only like 120 calories. The taro chips are great. Holy. I'm sorry.

You can crumble them and put them in the bowl. If it doesn't count with your fucking rules of munch madness. They were so good. You have your winner just from your taro chip. The taro chip was like, what is this? This flavor dusting. It was late. It was oily.

It was so good. The taro chips alone to me. I won the second I had a taro chip. Then that weird noodle salad thing that I got on the side. Holy cannoli. This is the kelp? Oh no. The non kelp.

Not the non kelp. The noodle slaw. Which I didn't even remember order. I blacked out. I was like, did I order this? It was so good. That noodle slaw. I got to tell you the edamame, the pickle, the mango.

The forbidden rice. Now, if I were to do it again, it's too much of one bowl. It's a lot. Sure. Yeah. It sounded like it was maybe one or two ingredients too much. Yes. Just one or two.

Yes. It's not the largest bowl that's ever been made. Well, when you get cut off like Kiefer Sutherland at last call, it's like maybe too many. Did you see the video of him fighting the Christmas tree? No. Google it. Wow. In a hotel lobby and he takes down a Christmas tree and it's incredible.

I just want to say. This is Claus ain't showing any side to it if you act like that. I got to be. I mean, legitimately, it was so good. I love that the shiitake mushrooms were so good. The sesame rice cracker. I'm not even a huge mushroom guy and the shiitake mushrooms are good. We're so good.

The chili oil was so good. The crispy onions were so good. It was too much. There were too many things to pick from. It got a little gross, but it was delicious. It had a lot of flavor. It had a lot of flavor and I was very grossed out ordering from here. I loved it.

Fitting for a podcast, a little too much. It was gross. In the end, it works. I'm going to guess I probably asked you guys this before. When you saw SuperSizeMe, were you revolted or did you immediately go order the quarter pounder that he vomited? It did make me want McDonald's. My brother and I went and got that.

Not only did it make me want McDonald's, but it turned Morgan Spurlock into a lifelong enemy. Yeah. I'll say this. It made me want that burger. It did make me want that burger and I did get McDonald's, not immediately, but in the near term aftermath. The one he vomited.

I wanted that final bite. I wanted that burger. I will say, I was not necessarily a full-blown Morgan Spurlock skeptic at the time. I was like, oh, this is an interesting documentary. It was also at the age where I was kind of like, oh, I'll watch a documentary. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then he had the series 30 Days, which was semi-interesting.

It was like he would try to do something for 30 days. It was kind of... I think I was already off the train at that point. Yeah. I mean, I was never really on the train. All his subsequent documentaries were kind of wack. He was no Macklemore for you. He was no Macklemore for me.

But to short answer your question, yes, it did make me want McDonald's. Well, look, the issue... Morgan Spurlock's fucking self-meetooing ass. Oh my God. He did it to himself. He did it to himself. He was like, I'm canceled. I'm canceled.

Everyone's like, all right, good. Get the fuck out of here. He canceled himself. Yeah. He canceled himself. He canceled himself. It's a supersize me too, if you will. He was like, I'm out of here.

Yep. And they came back. Supersize me too. He's back now. That's hilarious. Yeah. He made supersize me too, like, holy chicken, which I was like, that's not even attempted upon.

Yeah, that sucks. You're punting off holy shit, but you're calling it holy chicken? I can't. Come on. I can't. Make an effort. Arna, you had a lot of toppings, and I actually, when I went to Swiefen, I saw a Paikan and the whale.

And there was no more kelp salad, and they were like, pissed off. Because I was there. You know what? I was just mad because I didn't get the part, so I wanted to clear it up before they got there. Oh, it's kind of rubbed it in their face. Yeah. You know what?

Do you think I can't play the whale? Let me think again. I'm going to get ready, you know? This is the sort of thing in Hollywood, like, you can walk into any restaurant, and like, Paikan can be at a table with the whale. It's true, yeah. Oh, they're friends. They're friends.

They're friends. Interesting. The, back to what you're saying, Arna, the issue with all of these bull concepts is, because they're so customizable. Do you know who else was there? Yeah. You're on a paltrow from Shallow House. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Your favorite movie. It's my favorite movie. Shallow House. Love Shallow House. It's like deep. Shallow House deep. Yeah.

It's good. So good. Look, we love Jack Black. I do have to say. That works great. Jack Black's a man. Oh, Jack Black's hilarious. I forgot he's in it for a second.

That was fun. Making fun of it. No, I'm sad. It's okay. You know what? He cashed the check. He's doing all right. Listen, he's Jack Black.

He's the man. We love him. He's the man. We love him. His Instagram feed is incredible. But anyways, she was there, too. He's a bowser. Okay.

Good to know. Yeah. He's a great bowser. Yeah. Good bowser. He's a good bowser. He is. The issue with all these bull places, because they're so customizable, you can add so many

components. You can self-sabotage. You can end up in a situation where your bull is suddenly ungepoche. You've got too many components. And one thing I will say to Sweet Fin's credit, they're curated like our house bulls. If you just get one of those off the shelf, or like I did last week with like a slight modification, those work really well. Are you saying that maybe I went too far off the road?

I'm not blaming you. I'm saying these places offer these... I was so excited. Yeah. These places have this as like, hey, go ahead and add all this shit. I highly recommend the mango. These toppings are free. The mango.

Incredible. But you can end up in a situation where you have too much shit and that's almost where I was with my comp. Yeah. But I think that's what you're saying, right? It was a lot. It was a lot. Yeah.

I think that Sweet Fin... Look, not saying which I think will win, which honestly, in my head, I actually don't know... I don't know either, Mitch. I don't know. But I'll say this. I think that Sweet Fin does a better job of the prefab bulls. Prefab?

Does that make sense? Whatever. Prefab? Yeah. It's a good way to say it. Prefab bulls. Gorgeous. Is the Sweet Fin does a better job than Kava does.

Kava, I think now I'm like, oh, you make your own bull. They have a few options, but the options are like whatever. They're like, we respect you. You work in Washington, D.C. on the hill. We know you're going to build another bull. Right. Yeah. They're just kind of there.

They're not highlighted. Yeah. And they're really pushing you towards the prefab bulls at Sweet Fin. All right. Well, it's time to come to a decision here. Yeah. So we're going to rate these two chains. We have too many categories.

I'm going to go first, Mitch, because I'm going to just try to go as quickly as possible. Okay. And Arden, as we go... So, you can add your own category at the end. So if there's something you think is absent from these many categories... Everyone has added one so far. Yeah, you can go ahead and add them. Okay, great.

This is gonna... It can be side to side. No, no, I'll see. I'll see what it is. Okay, great. All right. First up, greens. I'll give this one to Kava.

I just think that they... I think it just had more... Like more of the green ingredients. I really like... I really like their super greens. Fruit and A. N-A. Grains.

Sweet fin because of the rice. Granola. N-A. Protein. Kava. Protein was a... There's a positive protein with sweet fin. Yogurt.

I think I give it to Kava because it kind of has a yogurt-y dressing. Nut butter. N-A. Dips. Ponzu lime sauce was really good. Sweet fin. Dressing. More dressings at Kava.

I'll say Kava. Megan, trainer, aka the bass. Again, I'll go with sweet fin because I really like that rice. The bamboo rice. Bowl. Fuck. It's a really good bowl from sweet fin, but it's also a really good bowl from Kava. I think this is a draw.

They're both good bowls. Silverware. I can give it to Kava. I know my answer for that one. Drinks. I have not had a drink from sweet fin. They have a surprisingly good fountain at Kava, but I'm going to call this one a draw because I didn't get a drink from either place.

Bread. I didn't get the Tara chips, so the Tara chips are really good, but I think I'm going to go with the pita. I'll go with Kava. Treat. Did I get a treat? No. Treat.

Is this a treat? I think they both are. Yes. Treat Williams. Yes. Those are all the... What's the treat Williams category? Just yes or no.

Yeah, just yes or no. I love it. Here for it. I understood. Those were all one category that were the Adam Palli category. Next up, Uncar Plut is Oscar Montoya category, aka portions. Nice portion from sweet fin.

I'm going to say that one was just right. Navi, the Zach category. Zach Cherry. I think that one... Boy, sweet fin might be a little bit more Navi. What's Navi? Like at home on Pandora from Avatar. Okay.

I think fitting in with the Violuminescent, Laura and Fauna. Okay, got it. I understood. I think the meal that you got from sweet fin... Okay, great. Yeah. ...be something you get from the Avatar one.

Speed, the Jordan Morris, like the Hedgehog category, Kava was real fast, and they were ready right on time, and they have a great app. Wow. And then Mitch, you added a category of your own, the whale, which I don't remember what it was.

As would the whale like this. I think the whale would like the Kava more, because it's a little bit more filling and just had more... It's like more... It's a little bit more disgusting, and I think that's what the... Be for your own order. He revels in that.

He would have liked mine a lot. Especially with the kelp. All right, Mitch, you're up. I don't remember, Arden, you can add your own category at the end. First category, greens. The continent. Okay, greens.

I'm going to go with... Kava. Fruit. Sweet fin. Grains. I'm going to go with... Sweet fin. Granola.

N.A. for this one. Nice. Fair. Protein. This podcast sucks. Sucks. Why? We were mad at each other, spent like 45 minutes on stupid fucking rules.

We had songs, it was a musical. I mean, the side tits and the musical was fun. There's some good stuff. Wait, this podcast is great. That's right. You forgot that it divorced your mom when it was young. No, it's good. It's good.

The podcast is good. Okay, I believe he's coming back to life. You are having feelings. I'm coming back to life. He's coming back to life. He's coming back to life. Time to go for a jack with walk. Super horny side tits.

I hope Jess McKenna and Zach Reno don't listen to our podcast. They just would be ashamed. We've been on their show before. We're folding off book. We can't compete with this. Nobody can. What's the next? Lin-Manuel is very threatened right now.

Wait for it. Fucking the bowl I can't. I've never seen Hamilton. It's very good. We watched the first half of Hamilton on Disney Plus, and I think it was one of those ones where the film stage experience did not really click force. You got to see it in person.

Yeah, but I will say, Incanto fucking rips. That has a great soundtrack, and the sort of thing is like, fuck man, he has a really good lyricist. There's some really good songs in this. I'll watch it at some point. Know what that is, and that's going in there.

It's your first cold brew. There's always some sort of prize. Oh, what did I win? Acid. What category were we on? Protein? We just did protein. Did we do protein?

You were thinking about it. Oh, I was thinking of protein. I'm going to give this one to... I'm going to give this to Sweet Finn too. Sweet Finn's the Proat Goat? Sweet Finn's the Proat Goat. I think that Sweet Finn is... I know what you're saying, Weiss.

I prefer the protein at Kava, but I actually think that the protein, especially when you're dealing with raw fish, which is not easy, I think that's a good job. It's the Proat Goat. It's the Proat Goat, wow. Yogurt.

This has got to go to Kava. Yeah. Nut butter. PB Fit. Dips. You could push some PB Fit into either bowl. Obviously. Wait, what was this one?

Dips. This has got to go to Kava. Dressing. That's got to go to Kava as well. It's close. I would say Kava just has so many dressings. They have so many dressings. So the Kava wins it.

And they are good. Megan Trainor, a.k.a. the base. This goes to Sweet Finn. Bowl. This also goes to Sweet Finn. I think you were right. I think Kava's bowl is good, but maybe almost too much.

I don't know what the deal is. Here's what I said. They're both good bowls. And like that large-sized bowl from Sweet Finn is really nice. I don't know. You can make a case for it either. Mm-hmm.

Agreed. Silverware. Silverware goes to Sweet Finn. Wow. We got chopsticks and also nice wooden forks. I do like the chopsticks. For me, I use the spork. Drinks.

This one's going to go to Sweet Finn because Kava forgot my drink. Oh, boy. There you go. That's right. That's right. Will that be the swaying point? I don't know.

We're going to find out. Those chips are so good. They're really fucking good. And my pita was forgotten, so this one goes to Sweet Finn too. There you go. That's right. Treat.

Whoa. In terms of did I get a treat? And the answer for me is I did get a treat from Kava. Wow. I got, I'll tell you right now, it fit within my, I got the,

I think it's called like the Grey Stone Brownie or something. Nice. Hey, it is. Grey Stone Brownie. Grey Stone Brownie? Grey Stone Brownie. Like He-Man's Castle?

I guess so. Exciting. Nice. Wait a minute. That's Grey Skull. You played Skeletor for years. That's true. And you got it wrong?

Grey Stone sounded right. And I was like, wait, that's not quite right. It's Grey Skull. People probably don't know that you played Skeletor. Yeah. And don't look up the clips of it.

But so Kava wins this one. Yeah. What were we on? Treat. Treat. Yes. Okay. Honestly, for both, I would say,

I'd say yes for both. Wow. Ty. Treat Williams. I'm going to give this one to, well, my answer is yes. Uncar Plut, aka Portions.

I like the sweet fin portions. This is, I don't know which way I'm going to go. This is what makes this one really tense and exciting. Navi. Sweet fin. Speed.

Sweet fin. And finally, your category, the whale. The whale, I think would actually like both because of the kelp slaw and because the big messy bowl. So.

Yes. Ty. But you're thinking of the whale also in terms of a literal whale-like creature, Pyokon. Pyokon, I think, would like kelp slaw.

And I think the whale, being the whale, would like some kelp slaw. Got it. So just to really delineate this, the whale refers to both the whale, the Brendan Fraser character,

and Pyokon from Avatar, The Way of Water. I think we're going to have to separate this and make a separate Pyokon. Okay. So that's the whale category. And then we've also got the Pyokon. Would Pyokon like it?

Yeah. Pyokon would like sweet fin and not kava. And then the whale would like kava and not sweet fin. How's that? So I would say that Pyokon is going to like sweet fin.

That would be my rating. Nice. Okay, Arden, we're in the home stretch. We'll go through this. I'm going to give it to Kava. Great call. Fruit.

Sweet fin, mango. Mango. Oh, yeah. Mango. I forget they got the mango. You can't forget in a mango. You can't forget in a mango. Likes.

I forget in a mango. You forget in a mango. Next up, grains. Oh, sweet fin. Forbidden rice, honey, it's forbidden. That rice is great. Forny.

There is something to like to making really consistent rice at scale. Thank you. That's not necessarily an easy thing to do. Agree. Yeah.

So I'm impressed by that. Granola. N.A. Those shoes are great, by the way. Thank you so much. I was just admiring yours. Oh, God bless you. We've got a sneaker game right now.

This is exciting. Thank you. All right, Tarantino, back to the categories. Okay. That's right. That's right. Jesus Christ.

That's right. Did we do granola? Yeah. N.A. Protein. Feederweiger side boob. Oh. Does Tarantino love feet?

Yes. And it's annoying that people are like, whatever. I won't get into it now. Okay. He likes feet too much. You can see over the shot of a foot in the movie.

Oh, God. That means he likes feet. I have a very popular looking feet page. People like my feet. Oh, do you? God bless you. I've been trying to boost mine.

I've got good-looking feet. My mom had good-looking feet. Oh, that's awesome. I have hard feet. Thank you. Yeah. I have a nice arch. I have a long, narrow foot.

I've got a good foot. I've got a dancer arm. I've truly got awful feet. That's okay. That's okay. I'm in need of a petty right now, so I won't show feet. I'm afraid that I won't want a future episode.

Oh, I'm seeing it. I think I might have. Oh, that's okay. Oh, that's okay. They're kind of long. I'm not mad at your foot. Do you see how slim my foot is? It looks like a hairy foot.

Yeah, you're doing fine. I think you're being mean to your foot. It looks sick. Well, when you hold it in a claw like that, like a beta helmet. I'm part of it. Yeah. It looks sick.

I have disgust. I think my feet are gross. It's just taking off one shoe and listening. What's that? You just need to get a pedicure. You're going to get a pedicure. I don't think they smell,

but also like no one wants just an open foot in their room. Right? I don't care. I'm not smelling your foot. I'm not bothered by this. Are you comfortable as a thing? I want you to be happy.

Not really, but let's keep it going. Okay, great. We just did granola protein. Protein. You know that there's some dude who's going to fucking Okay. Load this up and rotate it

so you can see the bottom of my foot. After effects. Protein. Protein. Protein. Protein. I have to remember. Oh, see, I had edamame,

which is a fun. I like the texture of edamame in a bowl. Yeah. But they had, if you're going no meat, they didn't have a ton at cava. Oh, no, I had the tofu.

I had the tofu. Yeah. I do like the edamame. The falafel was exciting. The feta was exciting. I'm going to go cava. Wow. Yogurt.

Cava. Nut butter. PB Fit. Good answer. Dips. Now that's different than dressings. Yeah. Then I got to go cava.

Dressing. I'm going to go sweet fin. Megan Trainor, AKA the base. I got to go, I got to go forbidden rice. I got to go, I got to go sweet fin. Wow.

Bowl. Sweet fin. Silverware. I didn't get any, I got chopsticks and wooden. I'm going to go sweet fin. Good choice. Drinks.

Didn't have any. Bread. That chip. I got to go sweet fin because of the taro chips. Chips are great. And chips are bread, which is a rule of establishment.

Obviously, everybody knows that. Treat. Did I get a treat? I did get a treat by getting this email. Yes. Oh, God bless you. This has been a treat.

Oh, God bless you. This is a treat. Right now, look at that. That's a treat. I don't know about that. Okay. Yeah, put it away. Blacks don't like it.

No, I don't mind it. I'm just like, you're uncomfortable. So, and I can feel that. So, put it away. Okay, put it away. It's going away. It's a treat. Yes.

I need to pet a cure too, as it turns out. Okay. Okay. Treat Williams. Yes. I'm going to say, I'm going to say the size of my order

at Sweet Fin was a treat, Williams. Wow. Uncarplut, a.k.a. portions. Oh, sweet fin. It was huge. Yeah, it's a big boy. Get the large.

Navi. That is, is it phosphorescent? Is that phosphorescent? Bioluminescent? Yeah, bioluminescent. It's got to be sweet fin. Mm-hmm. I'm feeling like this is kind of

redundant with the piacon category, Mitch, but I don't know. He's got to be, he's got to be sweet fin. I don't think so. All right, fair. Speed. I say cava.

The whale. Sweet fin. My cava was for like an actress getting ready for pilot season in 1999. Right. And then piacon. He's going to like the sweet fin

because it's from the ocean. Yeah. Well, look, this is feeling. I didn't get to do a category. Oh, yes, please. I'm sorry. Yes. Thank you.

It's this. Let's see motorboat. Like the Thumper motorboat. Horny. I'm going to call it motorboating. Which one do you want to motorboat? It's going to be so fond to say to a guest, what do you think

about motorboating? Motorboating. Motorboating. What do you want to motorboat? What do you want to motorboat? I want to motorboat sweet fin. I want a man. This might be a tie for me because I

don't know which way I'm going. But you have to motorboat one. Like, which makes you hornier? I'll answer all Mitch's thinking. That's a, that's fucking sweet fin. Yeah. Uh, cava. You're going to motorboat cava.

You're horny for cava. Yeah. Okay. Where do you get a motorboat? I'm sticking with sweet fin. Yeah. Okay. I also just...

You are like a cartoon character. When I do it, I look like the Gungan prince. What's his name? Boss Nass. Yeah. Jar Jar. Jar Jar.

Jar Jar. Who saw me? Yeah. Did you say that on the pod that the name, the state Massachusetts sounds like something Jar Jar would say? Oh yeah. I don't know if I said that on the pod.

Massachusetts. Yeah. My mom thought Jar Jar was cute and my brother was like, I can't ever talk to you again. Wow. Like how dare you. I've come around on Jar Jar.

I think Jar Jar is nice. I think Jar Jar did. I also loved the Ewoks and my brother was like, I can't talk to you. I love the Ewoks. I love the Ewoks. Irredorable. I had a jar that looked like an Ewok.

All right. Arton, thank you by the way for remembering that you had... Thank you. So it was important. It was important. I take this seriously and I feel like that's an important, like a visceral,

it may not be... As a person who hosts a Boucher podcast. Yeah. The person that you're horneous for isn't necessarily the one that you want to marry. It's true. Just because you're horneous at

Fantasy Suites doesn't mean that's who gets the final rose. That's a great point. Do you know what I'm saying? Because it's like it might be too much. You're too horny for it. It's not like...

It's not what you want every day. 100%. So like you might need to turn the video and see the side to it. But it's like maybe you need to take her to a work function. Yeah. Yeah.

Well look, that brings us to this year's version of the McKenna Conundrum for our very first tournament. Which of these bowls is going to the dude to bring Donnie back to life? You have to pick one.

It's going to be Kava or Sweet Finn. We will count down from three to one and say in unison which one we think should advance to the finale. What are the overnight's in the Bachelor?

Are they just called the overnight's? Fantasy Suites. Fantasy Suites. That's next week. They also often show like the outside of the Fantasy Suites and you just hear the Bachelor going like, oh sweet, side to it.

Exactly right. Like can you just, ew, turn sideways please. And then it plays a little bit longer and you're like. Mrs. Claus, I've been a naughty boy. Mrs. Claus is on it this year?

Yeah. In an apron. Had sandals to make up. And she's got a scripture tattoo on her ribs. They all do. They all have scripture tattoo on her ribs.

Okay. If you line up all the Bachelorette's you can read the full script. That's how I read the Bible. That's how I got to know the Bible. That's how I read the Bible. That's how I read the Bible. That's how I read the Bible.

That's how I read the Bible. That's how I read the Bible. That's how I read the Bible. That's how I got to know the Bible. So we're kind of over three to one and say our winner, Kava or Sweetfin. This is so exciting.

I'm actually nervous. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. And this one's going to the big game. This one's going to the bowl finale. Wow.

This is insane. Is that going to be live? Is that the one that? That is. That is absolutely. That is what I'm not going to say because I don't want to blow again.

She's all excited. We've discussed on here. Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. Lauren is so excited. I have no idea. All right, let's do it. I don't know what we're going to determine to now.

We're going to count down from three to one. We will say we should advance. Oh my God. I'm so nervous. Three, two, one. Sweetfin. Sweetfin.

Bet you didn't say anything. He's got scared. Well, you got to say something. You got to say something. Kava. Nice. I almost went with Kava. And I just feel like Sweetfin

really was firing on our cylinders with this particular execution. This is. I think I go cop. It really wanted me over in this last, in this last year. You loved it. Yeah.

I, for me also, it's that sort of thing of I could eat Kava maybe more. I was eating Sweetfin a lot. And I was like, I'm eating raw fish like every other day. We didn't have fish. We didn't do the fish.

That's true. So also we like it even without their main thing. That's true. I was grossed out when that was eaten. I was like, oh, I got to eat this. Loved it.

Loved it. I did love mine. Sweetfin is very, very, very good. I think it deserves to go on. I'm shocked that it's Kava. Try it without the, try it without the fish next time. Try it with an edamame.

Try it with a. I'll have the opportunity to do that because it's moving on. Yeah. Give it a go. Add a mango. I can't believe that. Some sort of fruit like a, like a

fruit and fish bowl would be nice. Mango and edamame was really nice. The loser goes down to. The man. The man who we decided is. Sumner Redstone. Sumner Redstone. Yeah.

A gutter ball. Sound effect. But this, it seems. Thank you, Emma. It seems tough to give it a gutter ball here because it would. I think this is a finalist that was on the wrong side of the

bracket. I think that there, there's a, there's a path that it gets in to the finale. But I think, you know, Mitch, you and I are sportos. Sometimes the Eastern Conference finals is the actual finals.

That's right. And Riverwinds is going to. Everybody knows that. You know, that just happens. Everybody knows that. Yes. But yes, our live finale with our, with our guest, Lauren Lapkus,

Nicole Bayer, Tuesday, March 28, at moment.co slash dough boys. Sweetfin moving on. Now I'm thinking I should change my phone. I'm going to stick with Sweetfin, but wow. Wow.

Maybe, maybe it should be Kava. I'll think about it. It's kind of boring. It is a little bit, but it's also good. It was boring. Yeah. I'll stick with Sweetfin.

Sweetfin was exciting. It was good. I mean, I'm shocked by Kava. You got, I couldn't even say anything. You also couldn't say anything, which I think maybe speaks to your own hesitancy.

And I will say that Kava does have a chance at making it back to the main tournament. I get the tarot checks. Fat chance kitchen. Dude, I'm an improviser. For me to be speechless, like, whoa.

Yeah. Whoa, dude. I'm, yes, ending every day of my life. That's who you are. Yes. And I also like side to it. Sounds like I'm with walk at this

moment. I, I, I, I, I, this surprised me. I, I. I surprised myself. I really like sweet. I really like sweet fin. This is just, I wanted to call it side to my

category, but then I felt like inelegant. So I called it motor boating, which is elegant. I just wanted to clarify for the listeners. I mean, just so when you explain to other people, like Lauren, you

can say motorboat, but for you and your listeners, you can think to yourself side to it. Yeah. It'll be fun to be like, Jamal Bowie, what do you think? Motor boating? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Our refined guests. That's right. That's right. Why do I do this again? Yeah. These guys, something, what

happened? Yeah. And the answer is, yeah, you do. You do. The, um, And then when we're in D.C., right, you want to come to Comet Pizza with us?

They're like, Oh, I fucking talk to these guys. That's right. But I, I love that. I love that addition. And I love the outing by both of these, by both of these spots. Yeah.

It was close. A slumber marker. A, a, a, a convert here. Yeah. I mean, I, I definitely, I wish there was one closer to me, but I, I definitely, uh, I was far.

I didn't have one close to me. I was far for me on the East side. I don't got anything close to me, but it is in my regular rotation. And I'll remain a fan. Hey, just like a restaurant

for your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. And today we have an email from Megan, Megan writes. I don't want to stress or Emma Amelia. Is the E of three? It's no, it's, it's just an

image. Don't need to worry. I might have to go get my cats because it's almost four and they're at the vet. We're almost done. We're done right now. Sorry.

Sorry. Okay, great. Okay, great. Sorry about that. I'll tell them I'd be there at three 15. Oh my God. I'm sorry.

Okay, there we go. This is freaking me out for because I'm a cap man. All right. I mean, you can leave if you need to. I hope not to. Okay, great.

Okay. Hi, Doughboy, Sesser, Emma Amelia and the hunks at head gum. I thought I'd write in with a bowl adjacent tidbit for you, especially when incorporating bowling lingo and the big

Lebowski into the tournament. I teach political science at a university in Georgia. There's a famous political scientist, a science book called bowling alone, the collapse and revival of American community written by

the U.S. Americans are not bowling in leagues as much as they used to, and that when they do bowl, they do it with just their friends. He's asserted that this was a worrying trend showing that

Americans were becoming more insular in their activities and less engaged in their communities, which leads to less trust. His argument is that as people become more detached from their communities, they build

less social capital and this negatively affects the functioning of democracy. His argument generated a lot of discourse and critiques, both then and now. For example, his whole bowling league analogy

overlooks that it was mainly white men who used to be the ones to even have the time and resources to join things like bowling leagues in the 1950s. But his argument about the importance of community

connectivity for a healthy democracy are still pretty accepted. Anyway, have either of you ever joined a bowling league or any other recreational league like that? Love the pod.

Thanks. And please do come to a show in Atlanta sometime. There you go. You go first. Arden, have you? I play tennis at a rec center like

Wow. four times a week and it's so fun. And I started like a year and a half ago and I have all these people I would know like that just are people that I meet.

I played this morning in these clinics and I play at this rec center and I do it all the time. Wow. And it's super fun. It is fun. Yeah. And they're just like a public

parks and it's changed my life and I have like a whole group of friends that I would never know if I didn't go to this rec center. Man, I don't have anything like that in my life. It's really fun.

It does sound fun. That rules. I don't have anything like that either. Yeah. And we actually threw the idea about you and I going bowling for this.

Bowling is really fun. Yeah. It's hard. It is hard. Maybe you and I have to go bowling wise because we threw it out there and you said no, no way. Absolutely not.

That's not what I said. I said, okay, that's a fine pitch. But how does it incorporate into the tournament when we have a certain number of chains that we have to get through to finish the bracket?

I said it was kind of snotty. I said like the tournament's called Bowl. Oh yeah. Yeah. But you were just being an ass to know that. I'm just saying how does bowling

fold into the tournament competition, which is its own thing? There is a guy on my street, Joe Green, from the Green family. Great, great man. And he would take kids with some mental disabilities.

He would take them bowling every week. That's nice. Every week. A great guy. He just did it on his own accord. Great guy. And I would go, we would go

Candlepin bowling. It was a blast. Oh, Candlepin. That's Massachusetts. Great, great guy. All right. It's fun to do activities. It's the first time in my life

I've actually felt I have balance because when what you did as a kid that was your hobby becomes your career, talking about fast food restaurants and the bachelor. Like, but when you, it's like, I realized I lacked balance as an adult and it's so fun to do

something that has nothing to do with nobody cares about your career. Nobody cares. Right. It's really fun. It's fun and there's no pressure to do that.

I want to go bowling again. I think that it would be. You should do it. You know what? Political science. You know the political science I'm hearing this these days? You got to get the vaccine.

That's political science. That's right. That's political science. I was going to start with that and I forgot about it. Listen live on Spotify as we continue our 30 week contract. Arden Marine, thank you so much

for being here. What a pleasure. Honestly, it's truly the highlight of my year. Every year. Oh, God bless you. I get so honored. I was so excited to be part of

Much Menace. I take it very seriously. Oh, yeah. And it was an honor. I can't wait to see what, do we know what this is up against? We'll find out next week. What are the other two?

What are the possibilities? Left. We have Chipotle and pressed, which you reviewed pressed. Again, I'd never had an acai bowl, but it was so good. So good. So good.

And then to add in nut butter, that would be hard for me. My, my vote might have to be pressed. Wow. We're going to find out. Chipotle put me in the state. I'm in today. So that's just another factor.

We're going to find out why as the Tournament of Chompians 2023 bowl continues. Arden, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. You'll be in New York, April 14th at Union Hall, April 15th at the Bell House.

Everyone should go see, see you live. Tickets are available at rosepodcast.bodka. Anything else you would like to plug? You know, I have all these fun things coming out that I'm not supposed to talk about, but I do

have two movies coming out this month. Wow. One of them is called a snowy day in Oakland, and the other one is called Space Oddity, and they're both coming out in March. One of them, Snowy Day in Oakland

is going to be in theaters around the country. That's awesome. And I'm not sure where Space Oddity is, but Kevin Bacon's in it. So you're one degree from Kevin Bacon.

Wow. Wow. Now we're a few degrees within Kevin Bacon. Yeah, it's true. You're two degrees from Kevin Bacon. Right?

If I'm one, if I worked with them, am I one degree? Yeah, you're one degree. You're there. You're one degree. So you're two degrees. Wow. Right?

Very exciting. How many degrees are we from actual bacon? Zero. Zero degrees. I bet it in my pocket. Go get your cats. You got a vet appointment.

Go get your cats. Thank you, Arden. Thanks for staying along. I don't know if this episode of Doe Boys is on next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, and see you. See ya.

Bye. I love you, Nick. Aw, you guys. What's up, everybody? On the next Doe Boys Double. Munch Madness 2023. The Tournament of Champions Bowl continues with two brand new

contenders in the Toilet Bowl. That's right. The Toilet Bowl. Tammy Sager joins to decide which bottom of the barrel bowl is the least offensive KFC, Papa John's, or a bowl of cereal? KFC, Papa John's, cereal.

Who would advance for a chance to join the main tournament? Find out Tuesday only at patreon.com. Slash Doe Boys. Sources for the intro are in the episode description.