Doughboys - Shockdoughbooerdeath: Lucifers Pizza
Episode Date: October 19, 2023Eva Anderson joins the 'boys to talk pop-up restaurants, haunted houses, and pizza preferences before continuing Shockdoughbooerdeath with a review of Lucifer's Pizza. Plus, the haunting tale... of a cursed maiden in a special segment, Intest-dinner.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Forced to serve demonic coven, searing flesh in Satan's oven,
blackened bones stacked in a pile.
Severed heads slow-cooked in bile.
Sweet release of darkness yearning.
Burning, burning, burning dead alive.
Burning, burning, burning dead alive.
Pie of darkness extra cheesy.
Blazing sauce to make you queasy
Flames inflame a tender colon
Unholy hole now singed and swollen
Stomach rumbled, tumbled, churning, burning
Burning, burning dead alive
Burning, burning, burning dead alive
This week on Doughboys
We consume flames and are consumed by flames as we continue Shock Doughboy Death 2023, a scarifying month of frights and bites with the delectably devilish Lucifer's Pizza. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Die, boys.
Hell come to Doe Hell, boys, the podcast about rattling chain restaurants.
I'm the murder boy, Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, the hill that doesn't have eyes, the spoon wolf man, Mike Mitchell.
Howdy ho, wags. Mike Mitchell. Oh, no.
I.
Mitch,
we are Mario and Luigi.
You're Mario.
I'm Luigi.
And you know what?
I'm feeling pretty good.
You,
you look,
I said you look more off-putting than you did as Joker.
We're,
let's go.
Oh,
that's great.
We're going to,
and then when people listen to this episode, Oh, no. Oh, that's great. We're going to... And then when people listen to this episode,
Oh, no.
Wives, we're Mario and Luigi.
That's right.
You got peanut butter,
and because of that deal, I got Mario.
I think you look great.
You're a good-looking Mario.
And also a good role reversal in that I'm the one who's hung with the mustaches.
You're packing the big boy stash.
Yeah, I'm packing heat over here.
Not quite Hitler stash, but a little bit more modest.
Pretty close.
Pretty close, Nintendo.
I guess we probably don't want too many Italians talking about their politics openly.
Mike Campanelli back in Quincy.
Yeah.
Italians love Trump.
That's what he's saying to me.
They have an openly fascist prime minister at the moment.
Or president, yeah.
We were not going to veer into politics.
We shouldn't talk about it ever.
Now is the time for the Doughboys to get into politics more than ever.
No, we're not going to talk about politics.
We're here to have fun.
Also, I don't know if you noticed our guest wearing a very funny costume,
but we'll introduce them in a second.
We'll introduce our guest in a second.
Made us cackle when we saw her.
Yes.
I just want to point out how just this guy.
Also, this is labeled as a disguise.
On the back of it, it says disguise.
Not a very good disguise.
It says disguise?
You can't pull off a bank job with this disguise.
And then this guy, this is just the wrong energy for mario the guy on the he's too hunky he's too hungry but he's also like hey he like hey i'm mario i'm fucking mario he's like
he doesn't mario energy yeah he's got to be a little bit goofier yeah anyways a good great
disguise whatever that's probably a guy who works at the costume company there's like hey put the
costume on we'll take a picture of you.
Here's an extra 50 bucks.
The glue from the mustache is going into my real mustache hair, and it's going to be a nightmare.
So I'm clean shaven at the moment. I freshly shaved today, and it's kind of working out for me.
So I'm glad I'm not having to suffer from what you're going through.
You got a little rat tail in the back, though, going right now.
Do I?
You look like a little sleazy Luigi.
I tried to tuck it all up in my cap here,
but I guess some of it's some strays.
It's tough.
You look great.
Wags.
I wanted to say,
Howdy ho to the Monster Squad,
who I haven't addressed the entire theme month.
That's right.
And now I got to say, what's up to the Monster Squad?
Who is the Monster Squad?
You know, we don't have to look into it.
They're a part of, they're kind of like an offshoot of Spoon Nation.
Got it.
I had a little song to sing, too.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, I don't have to look at my phone for this.
Well, yeah, but it's nice to have that safety blanket.
Okay.
Swamp thing.
You make my heart sing.
You make everything swampy.
Really good.
This is, Mitch, is a remarkable coincidence because the question I have, because I sometimes
will write a little bit of a thought
starter. Uh-huh. My thought
starter for today's episode is
Creatures from the Black Lagoon,
your thoughts. Really? Yeah, right
there. You can read it if you want. This is perfect.
Kind of ties in. I don't
know if Swamp Thing is a creature from the
Black Lagoon. Should I say you make my heart
green, probably? Oh, yeah, that's better.
Yeah. But Swamp Thing and Sing, they rhyme. in the Black Lagoon. Should I say you make my heart green, probably? Oh, yeah, that's better, yeah.
But Swamp Thing and Sing, they rhyme.
Whatever, we'll talk about this after the episode.
You make my heart scream?
You make my heart green?
Yeah.
You know what?
You haven't addressed either? You make my Swamp Thing?
Yeah.
Swamp Thing, you make my Swamp Thing?
Yeah.
You make Swamp Thing, Swamp Thing, you make my Swamp Thing? You make Swamp Thing, Swamp Thing.
I also, when I wrote that down, I was like, did like Hanford perform this song?
It's possible that someone has just sang this song before.
Yeah, sure.
You've never addressed the Monster Fuck either, your famous song, that I know it's on another podcast.
It's kind of a Comedy Bang Bang thing.
Do you have the rights to it? Do I have the rights
to the Monster Fuck? No, I'm saying Comedy Bang Bang has the rights
to Monster Fuck? Ackerman might own the
Monster... I might have signed away the Monster Fuck ten years
ago. I don't know.
Ackerman's put another story on his house from the
fucking Monster Fuck.
No, I have no idea. I don't think anyone... This is the Monster
Fuck wing.
Let me read about this this uh roast that was sent in uh hey doughboys happy shock dobu or death jesus christ considering
the theme i thought you might be looking for spooky roast for mitch i had trouble choosing
between this or the invisible manhood sorry mitch from brad roast moon man at gmail.com i always like
how they follow up with like another insulting thing they could have done.
Yeah, you don't have to put your alt in the body of the email.
I mean, I'll read it if you do, but you don't have to do that.
The Doughboys meme.
You know the Doughboys memes?
There's a Doughboys memes account.
I've probably seen this.
I feel like we're going to kill our guests if we don't get to them shortly.
There's a Doughboy's...
Look, by the way,
you were supposed...
You were peanut butter,
I was jelly.
That's right.
And then when we go to change,
you fucking take the damn...
You take the Mario costume.
I forgot who was who.
You think you're Mario.
I wasn't precious about being Mario.
I just forgot who was who.
I'm Mario.
It's a me.
Calm the fuck down. Fine. Wait, what was I just forgot who was who. I'm Mario. It's a me. Calm the fuck down. Fine.
Wait, what was I just talking about?
Before I got mad at you? Don't you like the green one?
Because it reminds you of Ireland?
I do like Luigi's green.
You're talking about the Doughboy's meme account, dude.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, Bart.
Thank you, Bart.
The Doughboy's Me No comment did...
They put, like, the sharp knight or something.
Uh-huh.
And then in the comment, it was like, Fat Man was too mean.
And it's like, well, don't say it in the comment.
Don't say Fat Man was too mean.
Then you're still doing it.
You know what I'm saying?
Anyway, Emma, let's hit them with a drop.
Hello, Ghostbusters.
I'm Nick Weiger alongside my co-host, pre-ghost Slimer.
Uh-huh.
Well, just give me the address.
Mitch wanted to keep it a secret.
I'm a man who fears the devil.
I believe in the supernatural.
I believe in a lot of this stuff.
Yes, of course.
Oh, they'll be totally discreet.
Thank you.
We got one!
If there's something strange in your neighborhood,
who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
I'm very afraid of ghosts.
He's actually a scaredy cat.
Meow.
Meow.
All right.
Sure.
So the person who sent that drop in,
look what you did to our guests.
You made them sit here in this fucking mass.
Howdy, Drop King and the entire Doughboys crew, DB's crew.
It was great to meet you and the boys in Seattle last year
and hear my Frasier drop played during the live show.
Wow. Here's my attempt at a silly
spooky drop for October.
Hope you enjoy. Dango
DC from the Dose Chord.
Thanks, Dango.
Wags.
Look, we did a live show.
This is technically our last.
It comes before the last episode.
This is our final record chronologically for us,
but this will be released before our final episode of Shock Dobu or Death,
which was our live show we did with Don't Stop or We'll Die.
We've already performed that show and recorded it as of now.
So that'll be out next week.
And also just for anyone who watches on YouTube,
that episode is audio only.
No video was filmed for that.
So there's just an audio component.
It'll still be here in the YouTube channel. But yeah.
Well, we should introduce our guests because we pivoted.
We weren't going to do this, but it also is a perfect place to do.
I think this worked out great.
There's a term for this.
I have some issues.
Not quite happy accident.
There's some other term.
I have some issues with, we'll get into it.
Let's introduce our guests before we kill them.
Our guest today, return to the show,
Eva Anderson here, wearing a
Bart Simpson mascot helmet,
which feel free to take off at any point.
Hey, guys. Wow.
Wow.
Bit worth it.
Great mascot helmet.
How are you feeling? Because that looks
extremely hot. Great mascot helmet. That's good. How are you feeling? Because that looks extremely hot. It was bad.
I rented this for the show
at a place near our
collective home. Wow. It used to be
on Venice Boulevard. It's called Robinson's Beautilities.
Okay. But then it moved to the inside
of a comic book store that's down on
Sentinella. Oh, I know exactly where that is.
Yeah, and a year ago I looked
and they had a book of all their rental costumes that included this Bart Simpson.
But they were all jammed in a...
I think they're from the 80s, and they're like, oh, those are all jammed in a trailer, and we can't get to them.
But then this week, I went, and they had Bart right out front.
And was it this dirty when you rented it?
Look at the back.
Oh, my God.
He's spotted. He has little spots my God. He's spotted.
He has little spots on him.
He's got all sorts of grease on him.
Look at his teeth.
His teeth are really bad.
This feels like this has been around since 1989 or whenever the Simpsons Christmas special. This feels like a first season.
Season one Simpsons thing.
We do have a Homer and a Marge as well.
Wow.
And they both had a hard time.
They do not have a Lisa.
You made the right choice for the Bart.
You made me a Bart's kid.
That was great.
Also, Bart's sitting next to Mario, oddly an appropriate time stamp for the late 80s, early 90s.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like when these two characters were the apex of their popularity.
These two were ruling.
Everywhere you looked, it was Mario and Bart, right?
Yeah.
You couldn't avoid them.
You couldn't avoid them. You couldn't avoid them.
They were inescapable.
And Bart was in a lot of arcade games as well.
That's true.
It was like you could play Bart.
You could play Bart, yeah.
The Simpsons arcade, that is a great old arcade.
Yeah, it's a fun beat-em-up.
They'll get the Konami one.
Bart was in a lot of bad video games.
What's the one where it's Bart versus the alien?
Bart versus the Space Mutants.
That's a good one.
It's a little janky.
Okay.
I mean, it had some cool ideas, but actually playing it, I mean, I played it as a kid,
and then I replayed it a couple years ago, and it's got some issues.
Bart's Nightmare, I remember being close to unplayable.
Some of those games are really bad, yeah.
And then the Simpsons Wrestling, the PlayStation 1 game, that was really bad.
Do you remember that?
But then Hit and Run comes.
Hit and Run's pretty good, yeah.
They start.
But I also do feel like Bart, like, that does feel like Halloween 1990, 1991.
You're going to be Bart.
I mean, not necessarily that giant head thing, but like a more like a plastic mask, shitty version of Bart.
Yeah.
The other, I would say you're right.
Also these spikes, he I guess used to be up, but they're just like curled into his head.
And there's more spots on the top of his head I didn't see before.
The other major costumes you can rent there, there's a lot of like, there's like a Tweety
bird that's really deranged, but there's a, there's a Popeye and an olive oil that I also
really waffled on that are so
fucked up.
I love it so much.
An old costume.
That looks like it's been stored in a chimney.
It is so dirty.
It's uncleanable.
Eva, thank you so much for being
here. One of our favorite guests
and we're
always happy to have you back for some
dumb theme thing um and because i know you are a fan of i did and i mean this with affection so
tell me tell me how you characterize i feel like you're someone who likes things that are shitty
and weird yes so thank you so like you like like weird shit but i think you also like the the spooky
kind of veers into that too very often i feel feel like Halloween oftentimes has a lot of overlap with that.
Yeah.
I think October just presents a lot of opportunities to do dumb shit.
Right.
Like it all comes out.
I mean, one thing, can we talk about like what we're considering and you can bleep it?
Yes.
Frankenstein.
That's right.
That looks so good.
The Frankenstein bar.
That looks like shit. Yeah. It looks so good in the way that it would have been shit. It would have sucked so bad. It would have. That looks so good. The Frankenstein bar. That looks like shit.
Yeah.
It looks so good in the way
that it would have been shit.
It would have sucked so bad
and it would have been
very funny to go.
I mean,
I look,
if anyone worked on it
who listens to the show,
God bless you.
It's like,
on the surface,
it looked like a very,
it was basically a pop-up
that had a,
that was a mad scientist lab
that had cocktails
that were served.
It was called Frankenstein's bar.
Yeah, yeah.
And then also that
which also looked crazy.
We may end up doing ******.
Okay, well, then bleep that if you want to come.
And you're invited to come with.
Yeah, if you want to come.
Oh, yeah?
I mean, it's very funny because we mentioned that and then people were like, I want to
go.
There's been multiple people who said they want to go.
Yeah.
I have no reference.
I never watched ******'t know i have no
reference point for like the town or the restaurant you would i i think it's gonna be dog shit it
looks better than it looks better than frankenstein's bar um i went to the blockbuster bar
which was a pop-up on melrose how was that you had to like pull they made it look like a blockbuster
inside and then if you wanted a drink you had to
find the video that was the drink and then take it out and like rent it and it's like you want
like a pink drink you had to get like legally blonde and then give it to them and then they
would start making your legally blonde drink oh man that's kind of fun in theory it's fun in theory
but it wasn't complicated it was needlessly complicated. But I had a good time. I went with some good pals.
That's awesome.
I so went to the Golden Girls restaurant
where they only serve lasagna.
Why?
It was a Garfield restaurant, but they didn't get a permit.
You know, it said there's something on the outside
that I hate Mondays.
Fuck up. Put Blanche's head
next to it
in the quote bubble
yeah Blanche's like
orange skin
you're like
wait a minute
cheesecake and lasagna
and also it was like
a sober restaurant
like it was like
oh wow
you could only get like
iced tea
this sounds so bad
yeah it was bad
it was in Beverly Hills
so anyway
there's this one company
that's doing a lot of these pop-ups.
I think they were involved in movies too.
Okay, yeah.
Well, it seems like they couldn't get a liquor license at this spot either.
That was in like a weird place in Beverly Hills.
Yeah, but then also there's like all the haunts, which are their own things.
And some of them are good and some of them are janky.
But that's like another bunch of opportunities to do stuff.
So, yeah.
So, look, I think that this has been a great theme month.
We almost went to the Queen Mary.
Podcast The Ride was doing it.
We had a pivot.
That's right.
We were getting Shacktoberfest specifically.
And oddly enough, we are going to be covering Shack in a few weeks in the main feed.
So look forward to that.
But Shacktoberfest, PTR kind of covered that territory.
I don't want to tip the hat too much,
but I feel like this maybe would have been
a bit of a redeemer.
I feel like...
Well, a pre-deemer.
Because it would be like, yeah,
it happened chronologically beforehand.
But yeah, I listened to the podcast,
the right episode about Shacktoberfest,
and I was like, fuck, they had a great time.
We should have just gone to Shacktoberfest.
We should have just gone to Shacktoberfest.
Look, my issue with – we didn't talk any scary movies.
We talked about a shark movie.
This is a scary movie.
And then, like, my dream, Eva, I think you would agree with this, if we went to an abandoned hospital or something.
I think that would have been fun.
Like an actual spooky thing?
Yeah, we should have done something.
We should have broken into the murder house.
Oh my god, that is horrifying.
We break the stained glass window and we crawl in
past the Christmas tree
that was left the night of the murder.
I drove by it the other day.
Has anyone bought it or is it still totally empty it's still completely empty uh did you you went did you go
with us the time like me and harrison a bunch of people went i mean i would look in the windows
yeah i feel like one night we did like the 24 hour the 12 hour or whatever movie marathon and
then i think we walked over and like looked at the windows that sounds right i went a couple times
and it is horrifying that house is horrifying it's now gutted this is the
low this is the lowest feel as uh murder mansion yeah and uh i remember i stepped on the grass i
like sunk into the ground but there there was like a tv in the wind like there was like and
there was a magazine from 1959 that i saw through the window wow so it's just frozen in time this
is like a decade ago yeah it's like a this doctor who who killed his wife uh-huh and then tried to kill the kids
try to kill it on christmas then he drank battery acid and killed himself yeah and then the kids
escaped uh but then the house the the relative that inherited the house didn't want anything
to do with it so it just sat completely frozen wow for since the 70s to the
early aughts when finally the la times wrote about it and they were like this is just going on in
this very expensive street yeah it's like a because it's like a spanish mansion it's a huge mansion
and like you could someone buy it so people people bought because the guy owned it forever and then
when i visited the times we visited that guy owned it. He passed away in like in 2000, maybe 12 or something.
I don't know when he passed away.
But then someone bought it and then they still haven't been able to do anything with it.
So it's just this empty house.
But I would never, ever go in.
I don't know if I could ever go inside of it.
It's so scary.
It's scary.
I mean, I would go in a abandoned hospital with you if you came up.
We could find one.
Did you say I'd live there?
Yeah, I'd have no problem living there.
Okay. with you if you came up we could find one did you say i'd live there yeah i'd have no problem living there okay you don't believe in the in ghosts um i'd not that i even don't believe in ghosts you just aren't afraid of no ghosts yeah that's more like a ray parker jr type uh no i'm like i
think i would be able to deal with that because i think i would just sort of accept you know like
whatever something happened here in the past even if there are bad vibes i think i could handle well No, I think I would be able to deal with that because I think it would just sort of accept, you know, like whatever.
Something happened here in the past.
Even if there are bad vibes, I think I can handle.
Well, I think also like a spirit would be like, ooh, and you'd be like, how can I help you?
I'm just going to get out of here.
Are you a blowjob ghost?
You have like you could also easily like empathize with family annihilators.
Yeah, right, right, right.
Well, when you're talking about drinking battery acid,
I was like, how does that kill you?
Does that burn your esophagus?
Maybe.
It was a weird mix.
I just read it the other day, and I was like,
they're not talking about how he drank the acid,
but it was a weird concoction that included some sort of...
So it was diluted a little bit, so maybe it didn't...
He was dead within 15 minutes.
Probably an awful way to
go though one of the
components I believe was
acid that's how we were
always told that's how
we were always told yeah
yeah because I've heard
like a lot of times if
you try to poison
yourself it won't like
render you unconscious
you'll just be in
horrible pain and you'll
barf it up yeah yeah
but you're barfing up
like burning and so
like you're just like
yeah it's fucking
dead within 15 minutes
of the cops come
anyways I think that we should have done like Abandoned Hospital.
And we fucking pitched these things earlier.
Why are you pitching them now saying we should have done them?
We could have done this.
I thought we were going to see Shaq.
I thought we were going to see Shaq.
Podcast the ride, you ruined everything.
And Eva, have you seen any good?
You are a scary movie fan, but –
Yeah, I just haven't – this year, I mean, this year Megan was my favorite.
Megan's a lot of fun.
Megan's great.
But I haven't – I've been more like going to haunted houses than doing haunted films this year.
Interesting.
Yes, but I still want to see like a scary movie or two before that.
I went to – I saw i watched texas chainsaw
yesterday the original yeah wow so good i'd seen it before but i like it quite a bit i've been
and wagger and i are both working our way through the the freddy's i've seen all of them but it's
good to revisit it this is it's it's mostly better revisit for me i watched i finished what new
nightmare and then i'm like okay i'm gonna go back and do all the jasons and then i'm gonna
they're gonna meet in the meet at freddy versus. Jason so I'm gonna do that so I just watched
Freddy the 13th
part one last night
which I'd seen
it'd been a while though
it's good
it is good
you know what
honestly last time
I watched it
I was like
hmm does this kind of suck
and then I watched this
and I was like
no it's pretty good
yeah
I do feel like
the Freddies go like
good bad good bad good bad
there is a little
yeah it's kind of like
the Star Trek movies
kind of have that sort of
you know the evens
are better than the odds yeah cause it's like crazy like the Star Trek movies kind of have that sort of, you know, the evens are better than the odds.
Yeah, because it's like crazy that you
go from like one of the best horror films ever
made to two. Two is
insane. Two is insane. And then
three, which is so great. Three is great.
Three rocks. Yeah. I like four and
five. Five I like a lot.
Five is good. Is that Dream Master?
Yeah. Five is Dream Child.
Is that Rennie Harlan? No, that was number four. That's four, which is also pretty good, yeah. lot five is good dream master yeah five is dream child dream child is that renny harlan uh no that
was number four that's four which is also which is also pretty good yeah yeah five has a guy who
was in the comedy world who used to be around in the comedy world as a child oh oh wood herford
wood herford yeah wood herford is the kid yeah and it's it and he's he's good he's like very young
but it's a weird like part of the the... I feel like we've talked about this
in three different episodes at this point.
Fucking whatever.
Get off our backs.
Who cares?
Who gives a shit?
There was a...
The Doughboys already talked about the episode,
part five of Freddy.
How can you not talk about baby Freddy?
There's a baby Freddy in the beginning of it.
There's a baby Freddy,
and then there's a kid who is the dream child,
like the manifestation of the dream child,
but the dream child is like in utero.
Like she's pregnant with the dream child.
So it's like, wait, so this is like a projection of what this is going to turn into?
Like the six-year-old kid?
It's very confusing.
Yeah.
Wait, then the next one has Roseanne and Tom.
You guys have obviously talked about all of this. Yes.
Sorry.
The next one is like almost a comedy.
Well, that Freddy's dead. Freddy's dead. Freddy's dead. It all of this. Yes. Sorry. The next one is like almost a comedy. Well, that's Freddy's... Freddy's dead.
Freddy's dead.
Freddy's dead.
It's so goofy.
Yeah.
He's the Wicked Witch in the beginning.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's Breckenmire.
Breckenmire is a stoner who plays video games and he gets killed in a Freddy video game.
It's so fun.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I love Freddy.
Freddy's a blast.
He's a good guy.
He's so great.
Yeah.
Freddy's a good guy.
Good guy.
He's a nice person and he made some mistakes.
They should not have burned him.
They shouldn't have burned him.
Maybe he was, you know, the first one leads up to question whether or not they weren't sure he was guilty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kind of sounds like the last five years in Hollywood.
Did we go too far with Fred Krueger?
Treating some of the people who make magic for you like Krueger.
Interesting.
Okay, so let's talk about horror
media for a second. i conclude haunted houses etc like
what are do you do you have any i know it's tough to conjure up your favorites on the spot but do
you have any things that have stuck out in your mind whether those are books movies games um
experiences any sort of like october haunted scary spooky shit that you really have enjoyed
over the years oh yeah um well i just want to say last night I went to the
best haunt in LA. Whoa.
Reign of Terror. It's in Thousand Oaks.
It's in an abandoned
mall, and it's 10 haunted
houses that you go through in a row without
stopping. Whoa. That's cool as hell.
Yeah, it's 140 rooms.
That's amazing. It's really fun.
I highly recommend to anyone in LA that just wants
to go to... And also not... They have to make up all the stories. It's really fun. I highly recommend to anyone in LA that just wants to go to like,
and also not like they have to make up all the stories.
It's not like Freddie and Jason.
It's like original IP.
That's cool.
Yeah, it's cool.
Wait, is it like, does it use the stores or the mall or do they move,
they build on like the courtyard area?
Inside the mall.
Yeah, there's other parts of the mall that are functional,
but there's just like enough abandoned stores that are connected that you'd
walk through like large sections of the mall.
That's fucking cool.
It's really fun.
And it's got really, really cool stuff in it.
And like the actors are good and it's so fun.
So that that's it was great.
That is, you know, like that is a nice side benefit of like living in L.A.
Is it like you'll go to like, you know, if you go to like Margaritaville, like the house band there is fucking great.
There's all these great musicians who live here and the same sort of thing.
Like,
yeah,
you'll go to any random sort of thing.
You like hire a princess for a birthday party.
And like,
she's a great actor.
Cause she's just like a working actor in LA.
Yeah.
It could be an actual princess.
Maybe Megan Merkel will come in to your party.
Has anyone ever talked about Merkel almost sounds like Urkel?
Isn't it Barkle?
It's Markle.
Fuck. I wonder if we talked about how Markle kind of sounds like Urkel? Isn't it Barkle? It's Markle. Fuck!
I wonder what it talks about how Markle
kind of sounds like Sparkle.
You think there's a royal
princess Merkel?
You've been thinking it was Merkel all
these years? I thought it was Merkel.
Her
highness Merkel? Prince Harry's not
marrying Meghan Merkel. There's no way she
becomes a princess. I thought it was Meghan Merkel.
No, she's not doing that.
I was like, that sounds like Urkel.
Isn't Angela Merkel like a German?
That's what you're thinking.
Mitch, you're of course thinking of the famous.
The prime minister.
Yeah, the German political figure.
Has anyone ever thought how Angela Merkel sounds like Urkel?
Here's the thing I miss about,
I do miss on TV,
Urkel made me think of this,
is like the TGIF Halloween and all that stuff.
And I do think that now that cable's so like,
there's a million channels,
I feel like they don't celebrate it on,
when you had NBC, CBS and ABC,
you were getting a lot more Halloween celebration
now I feel like sure it's like you know
whatever yeah there'll be
a playlist on your streaming service
yeah like here's some horror movies we got up
there it's a little less curated I think that
there's not as much like produced
wraparound content as
there used to be that's what I like that used
to be a lot of fun when it would be like hey all
the ABC sitcoms
are all going to have
a Halloween episode
and they're all going to air
the same week.
That's so fun.
I mean, like,
now there's like a whole channel
that's like,
it's like our Halloween
and there's programming,
of course,
but like the actors,
you know what I mean?
I don't know.
I just,
I miss that part of it.
Also, Eva,
you are someone who
I saw Delusion,
I think,
with you the first time.
You also, didn't you go to one of the ones where they like scream at you and like are like, you have to like sign the waiver?
Oh, yes.
Some immersives you've done.
Yeah, I've done some weird immersives.
And I'll tell you about delusion this year off mic.
Oh, you did?
I heard from, you went with Jason Wallen.
Yes.
I heard that.
Yeah, we'll talk about it.
Yeah, yeah.
Something crazy happened.
When we went to the – the first one I went to was the house in like close to – like kind of near Echo Park Lake maybe.
Oh, yeah.
Those were great.
Yeah, it was great.
It was really well done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
That was fun.
Yeah.
And then like – yeah, like scary ones. There was one where like I went to one in Burbank one year where they just like put me on a gurney. They were like, you stupid bitch. And then just like rolled me around kind of like a fake hospital set in like a soundstage in Burbank. They're just like, you're a dumb bitch.
bitch.
And it was so crazy. I like paid $45
for it.
They like put me in a wheelchair and they'd be like,
shut up.
And I think they strapped me into it. Yeah, they just
called me names.
They called and said I was ugly. And then think they strapped me into it. Yeah, they just called me names. They called and said I was ugly.
And then eventually they kind of just like left me outside.
That's like such a weird, like,
I was like, you just spend like, whatever,
45 bucks to do it.
And then you're like, this like just sucks.
Makes me feel bad.
Yeah.
Wait, so it was supposed to be like a haunted hospital,
like maniac, you know, in sanitarium or whatever? I guess so, yeah. But it just, it was supposed to be like a haunted hospital like maniac you know uh in uh in sanitary
in sanitarium or whatever yeah but it just it was very weird yeah first i was like in this waiting
room where a woman was like you have a mole on your face you're a fucking witch and i was like
okay and then when i finally got inside they just like wheeled me around and screamed at me
so that was like one of i could have quit there but i i did much worse stuff i got into much
weirder stuff but yeah like but around halloween there's always like a couple things uh that are
crazy there's another show that's actually very fun if you if you're cool with nudity
there's a show in uh in zombie joe's urban death which is running every night um a couple times a
night it's like 20 minutes long. And it has like a
little haunted maze. And then you watch
like a bunch of kind of disturbing
images on stage.
There's music and then you walk back out through the maze.
It's fun. And it's a fun part of North Hollywood.
So highly, I recommend that as well.
Wait, what's the nudity? They're just naked
people like on stage. Like naked zombies?
No, like naked creeps.
Naked weird people. Yeahs naked weird people yeah naked weird
people i feel like you've been to the show like not in october
oh man it's wild but yeah um scary stuff i like horror films i you know i was like
big sam raimi person i love evil dead um this year there's hell very fun dragon hell is good
um i like all the classics.
This year there's a scary book that came out
that I just read. Have you guys?
It's scary. It's more gross but it's very scary
called Whale Fall. Have you guys heard of Whale Fall?
Oh. It's a novel
where
it's like The Martian
but it's about a guy getting swallowed by a
whale. Wow.
And then he actually has to deal with it realistically.
He's like a scuba diver,
and he gets sucked down into the stomach of a sperm whale.
That's cool.
What if we did a really gritty Pinocchio scenario?
But it's like, well, what if this actually happened?
How might someone survive hypothetically?
That's crazy.
Yeah, and that's minute by minute.
How is this guy going to deal with the fact
that he's inside of a living whale?
And going to be digested, basically?
Is that like what?
There's a bunch of things that had happened,
but it's,
yeah,
there's like a lot of,
it could dive really deep and like.
Yeah.
Cause then even if he opens his mouth,
it's like you get outside,
you're gonna get the fucking bends.
Yeah.
There's like a lot of different issues,
but he's like a smart guy.
So he's also kind of like the Martian,
like running through it.
It's the guy that wrote,
um,
uh,
that's called the shape of water.
That movie. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's that guy. The, it's called The Shape of Water, that movie.
Oh, yeah.
The Guillermo del Toro movie?
It's that guy.
The guy who wrote that wrote this.
He was like a big water guy.
He loves water.
If you see Shape of Water, you can tell he likes water.
This guy likes water.
He likes water.
Like a water freak.
Yeah.
But yeah, read Whale Fall if you want to read like a really fucked up book.
Whale Fall.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's like a Bond.
It sounds like Bond.
I mean, Skyfall, I guess is what I'm just Fall. Yeah. Wow. Sounds like a Bond. It sounds like Bond. I mean, Skyfall, I guess,
is what I'm just thinking.
Yeah, yeah.
I want to...
It sounds like Bond.
It does sound like the Bond.
Yeah, it sounds like a Bond.
I think it would be fun
to have a...
Sounds like a Brendan Fraser movie.
I guess, I mean, the whale
is probably what I'm thinking of.
A man who's eaten
by Brendan Fraser.
He has to escape
before he jacks off.
That's how he escapes wow
and the whale is like
the perfect nut
and he dies
well I want to
I said this at the top
before the show started
but
I saw Koala last night.
Happy birthday, Koala.
Happy birthday, Koala.
I think it is today.
I think it's literally his birthday.
I got to text him.
But I told you this.
He had the exact same Luigi costume in his closet.
The one that I'm wearing, yeah.
And I was like, oh, what are you doing?
He's like, I'm going as Luigi for Halloween.
And then I asked his daughter, I was like, are you going to be Princess Peach?
And she's like, no, I'm going to be a ballerina.
So Koala is just dressing up as Luigi for no reason.
He has a daddy-daughter costume, but they don't match.
He just chose, elected to be Luigi.
He wasn't like, I'll be a king.
That's very funny.
I love it.
God bless him.
He's a great Luigi.
You're not really a Luigi type.
We should both be Mario.
You don't think I'm a Luigi type?
No, I mean, I'm not a Mario type.
I'm not the leader.
More of a Gooigi type?
Do either of you guys live in candy neighborhoods?
No.
I mean.
There's too many apartments in my neighborhood.
It's like, yeah.
Technically, I'd probably make it a candy neighborhood.
All right.
technically I'd probably make it a candy neighbor
but uh
my the last on Palmerston
it was definitely more of a candy
and I only did it like a few
times because I don't know I would either be gone on Halloween
or like out or something like that
but this one no now
like I think it could be a candy but
my place is it's weird
I don't think that people will come
which is kind of sad.
I think it's fun.
I like handouts.
Yeah, but when you're in, like, a thing, you're in, like, a set of, you know, there's a bunch of units.
Then it's not necessarily someone's going to go to all the individual units.
It's more like a suburban thing of, like, going from.
I would have to put out a sign that says, like, trick-or-treaters come this way, which seems like a trap.
Yeah.
I don't want to do that.
Let's talk a little bit about pizza because that's what we're going to get into.
So, Eve, I do want a baseline of your pizza preferences.
Oh, I like pizza.
I do like, if I'm going to order pizza, I like a New York style pizza.
And if I'm making pizza, I usually make a grandmother pizza with
focaccia bread as a crust.
That's good.
Wow.
Focaccia crust.
I haven't actually done very effective like normal pizzas at home.
Anyway.
Hot gun spoon man.
But I do like I order a lot of prime pizza.
Oh, yeah.
Do you guys have prime?
Yeah, prime is good.
That's good.
Kind of a newer chain.
And yeah, but I enjoy a pizza every once in a while.
What about you guys?
I will answer, but I'm curious, what are your preferred toppings?
Actually, if I'm ordering just for me, sometimes ordering for teenagers and then you got to
get a pepperoni and stuff.
But if it's just me, I'm getting a white pizza.
Wow, I do love a white pizza.
It's beautiful.
It's my favorite.
Wise is ordering for teenagers sometimes too.
The Megan doll.
If you searched your eBay search history,
you were looking for the original Megan doll at one point, right?
I think it's got to be somewhere.
Yeah, I do like a white pizza.
I think I've become more of a just like a straight like cheese pizza guy.
I do really like a cheese pizza.
But honestly, like I think pizza is a great vegetable delivery mechanism.
I love just like a veggie pizza.
I love just like, you know, we'll a like a like spinach and um and onions and like
jalapeno or something just some combo of a bunch of different veggies and you have that with cheese
and and some sauce and that's delightful that's great if you check your ebay what the fuck am i
talking about we got it like ebay history yeah mitch it's fine i got it i'll have to second
guess your your quip it was fine ebay no it. No, it was fine. I'm a cheese guy.
I've always been a cheese pizza.
I think cheese pizza is the best.
Well, you know, funny today.
Maybe the non-cheese pizza was the better.
But in the abstract, it's kind of cheese is a great pizza.
Look, I've said it all month long since I've tried it.
The best pizza in LA is now.
The HeadGum employees just looked at me laughing
it's just laughing as they walk by
the only time any of the head gum half hunks have laughed at the dough boys
is seeing us in dumb costumes. Look at this fucking idiot.
Look.
Oh, she didn't pay attention.
I think she made the point to be like,
I'm not going to look back in that window.
I've said it since the start of this month.
Quarter Sheets, best pizza in LA.
Where is that?
It's near the Love gas station.
Okay.
I don't know if that's helpful.
What's he talking about?
The gas station from Love.
From the show Love.
Oh, okay.
From the show Love.
No, it is confusing. I thought you were talking about a secret gas station with a friend.
I know I can picture the gas station, but friend. I know I can picture
the gas station,
but I don't know
where it is geographically exactly.
It's near like the short stop
and then what's the little place?
Echo Park.
Yeah, and then there's that bar
right on the corner
that I forget the name of.
We don't need to get too
into the hyper-specific geography.
Well, we should try
to get people to go there.
Yeah, hey, I love
when people try clershies.
Little Joy, Little Joy.
Little Joy, thank you, Casey.
It's on the corner of Little Joy,
which they've redone.
That's where a girl tried to fight me once.
Really?
Yeah.
She said I'd stolen her money from video poker, which I had not.
Wow.
Which she thought I had, and she tried to take a swing.
I was like, oh, no.
I'm living my life.
I'm in it now.
Was this part of an immersive?
It could have been.
You stupid bitch.
I don't remember what also like because that was an immersive it was called like
uh
the depths or something like
it had some name and then it would be they didn't tell you
like the immersive where they just call you a
bitch I feel like that
I feel like they would have made Blags and I cry at that
thing like alright
just shut it down.
I mean, also, it seems like they very well could just be idiots that put this together.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely possible.
Well, that's what I've heard about a lot of escape rooms, is they are just people who
bought an escape room kit, but they're poorly put together and just kind of shitty, or the
puzzle doesn't make sense.
They're just like, ah, fucking whatever.
Wait, have you been reading Yelp reviews of escape rooms?
I've read some Yelp reviews of escape rooms
no i yeah there's no there's you have to like do quality control for escape rooms because there's
a lot of really good ones that are like really well designed but there's also a lot of just kind
of random ones yeah people are just like trying to cash in on the trend yeah um mitch you like
a cheese pizza any other favorite pizza varietals? I mean, for me, you know this.
Like, I get pepperoni and onion at Regina.
I'm now like a straight up pepperoni pizza.
I don't even like as much.
I like like pepperoni and some sort of veggie, like onion or peppers now.
But cheese pizza to me is is the number is the
number one if i get dominoes i do pepperoni and green pepper on one half and then sausage and
onion on the other half that's a lot of fun that's that's my that's that's my that's my mix but i but
mostly cheese if i'm getting uh well quarter sheets this has like all sorts of different
pizzas and they have a great version of a cheese pizza but prime pizza I'll do like a cheese and if there's people there I'll
get like also I'll get like a pepperoni or something I guess I still but like pepperoni is
I don't know that's boring too you're not that much it's not that much cooler when people who
make fun of cheese pizza for being boring pepperoni pizza isn't that you're not that much
cooler that's not that much cooler it's not that much cooler for choosing pepperoni pizza.
It's not that much cooler.
Stop thinking you're cool because you're eating pepperoni pizza.
Yeah, what the fuck?
I'm sitting there.
You're sitting there with your slice of pepperoni,
judging someone with a slice of cheese.
You're the same thing.
What would they think about that back in the old country?
Be like, Mamma Mia.
That's what they'd say.
They'd say, Mamma Mia.
They'd say, Mamma Mia. That's what they'd say. They'd say Mamma Mia. They'd say Mamma Mia.
Just think about the old country
next time you act that way.
Think about the old country
next time you want to talk down
to someone with a slice of cheese
and a slice of pepperoni.
So Italian that you put on the mustache.
All right, we got to talk about Lucifer's Pizza.
We're going to take a break.
We'll be right back with more Doughboys
here on Shocked Doughboy or Death 2023.
Lucifer?
Lucifer?
Wags, we've all been there.
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Welcome back to Doughboys.
This week's chain, Lucifer's Pizza.
Lucifer's was founded in 2008 in the Los Feliz neighborhood
by Adam borich
here in los angeles uh their core gimmick is their spicy pizza sauce which comes at four
different heat levels which we'll talk about uh there are five locations in the greater la area
and i'll read this quote from the website we believe high fructose corn syrup to be evil
our only opinion but as so we have a strict policy of no hfcs in our products they seem to be evil, our only opinion, but as so, we have a strict policy of no HFCS in
our products.
I like that.
They seem to be, for the most part, trying to locally source ingredients and making stuff
in-house.
That's great.
It's pretty quality stuff.
I want to say something.
Yeah.
I remove one glove, and I'm Mario Jackson.
Hee hee.
That's also very late 80s, early 90s.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That is the kind of thing that would, yeah.
Oh, Toad.
Come here, Toad.
You know, he- He loves Toad. Toad oh come here oh toad you're so you're so beautiful
this is all one big simpsons t-shirt
the bottom is like mandela's the man dude
operation desert storm yeah it's a gopher shirt all right The bottom is like Mandela's the man, dude. Operation Desert Storm.
Yeah, it's a go for shirt.
Princess Peach and Mario and Princess Peach is like,
they said it wouldn't last.
Was that what happened at the,
I'm trying to think of the MTV Movie Awards.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, right.
We do have sex.
That was like, that was Presley.
Lisa Marie Presley.
When they kissed.
Weird era.
Michael Jackson did some composition, uncredited composition.
This is a whole thing that you can watch fucking YouTube videos about for Sonic the Hedgehog 3.
What?
And the music he has in it is really rad.
It's really good.
But some of it is variations of...
The melodies kind of got reappropriated for Stranger in Moscow and stuff, but it's a chip's like some of it is like variations of like it got the melodies kind of got reappropriated
for like Stranger in Moscow and stuff.
But it's like a chiptune version of it.
Weird.
Yeah, it's great.
Sonic says like,
What does he say there?
What does he say?
Chamon?
Chamoy?
Chamoy is a sauce.
What does he say?
Chamon?
Chamon?
Chamon.
Chamon.
Is this a made up word?
It is like a made up word, but I think it's kind of it's like it's supposed to be like come on. Chamon. Shaman. Is this a made up word? It is like a made up word, but I think it's supposed to be like come on.
Like shaman.
Hamon.
Okay.
He's talking about hamon.
In the Weird Al spoof, it says hamon, hamon whole wheat or rye.
So he's like saying hamon.
Oh, that's funny.
That's funny.
It's kind of like a shamon, I think.
Another big part of the thriller video.
As a boy, that was one of my first big Halloween.
They'd start airing the thriller video on MTV.
Love that thriller video.
Good video.
So where was I going with this?
We were talking about something.
Oh, we were talking about Lucifer's Pizza.
So the topic of the episode.
No high fructose corn syrup.
No high fructose corn syrup.
That's good.
Sometimes that stuff's too sweet.
I concur.
I'm not a big HFCS fan,
and I like that policy.
So we had it today
before we recorded,
but Mitch and I also,
all of us have had this place
in the past.
I think if you just live in LA
for long enough,
it just, Lucifer's Pizza
ends up being the pizza
that's at a work function
or at a party or whatever.
We've all had it over the years.
I've had it a number of times.
I think I was, like, the first time I heard it,
I think I was a little pearl clutchy.
I was like, Lucifers?
They're going to name the place after the, you know,
the prince of darkness?
The prince of darkness?
Yeah.
I mean, you said this month that you're getting
a little less scared of Satan.
You have said that.
But were you really scared of Satan, like, 10 years ago?
And has it been?
I think 10 years ago I was maybe the, it was not the peak, but it was way up there as far as afraid of Satan.
Really?
Yeah, I was still afraid of him quite a bit 10 years ago.
Now it's kind of fallen off.
And then I'll be honest, the Lucifer's Pizza cover, he's kind of handsome.
It's a hunky devil.
You were saying he looks like the Skrull Not Zippers version of the devil. Yeah. He's a hunk. He's not of handsome. It's a hunky devil. You were saying he looks like the Skrull, not Zippers person of the devil.
The devil, yeah.
He's a hunk.
He's not that scary.
He's kind of like the devil of like, oh, things are a little hotter down here.
He's kind of like a little bit of the cartoon devil.
He's got a little pencil-thin mustache.
Right.
Yeah.
He would make some people horny for sure.
For sure.
Some people.
Almost all people. but i i i've
been a little less afraid of it i still would never name my place lucifer's i think i would
be too afraid would you name your child lucifer no way on earth i wouldn't even name my child
damien that's too scary would you name your child lucy probably too close honestly that's too close
wow okay uh so the um so lucifer's pizza i i picked it i i
went to the melrose location there's a bunch of them you know there's like a half dozen in la i
think five five actually currently um like i said and uh i i got that and i had that last week and
then we had it again today um it had been a while since i've had it but uh but i had some experiences
with it over the years.
And I would say, honestly, probably what we had today just before recording was better than what I got last week. But Mitch, I'm curious about your experience because you also got it outside of the meal we had today.
Yes, I got it yesterday.
I was saying to you before that I never – I was laughing in my head because I was thinking of Michael Jackson being like
oh no don't hit me Goomba
I'll be small like the children
laughing
laughing
he's trying to shrink down
oh no it's a Koopa Troopa
oh no I'll be small like the children
yeah that's good
I guess Mario doesn't turn into a child
but you get what I'm saying it was he gets
he gets small oh no i'm child size oh no yeah um i got it yesterday and um i was really thinking
about what i think about this place because it is such like uh hey we're gonna have people over
and watch scary movies and we're gonna get lucifer's pizza sure or even i mean it doesn't
like i've had this in the summertime or whatever i think it's like like a uh you know
a step above um we're gonna order instead of ordering all dominoes which is a good thing i
like dominoes but like hey we're gonna get lucifer's pizza you get a bunch of lucifer
yeah i've had that happen like at the office or whatever yeah we're ordering lucifer's for the
for the team but it's never also made me that much more excited than like a Domino's or something.
Like a little bit, maybe.
I don't know.
I would say it's a quality local chain.
Sure, yeah.
Yesterday, I was like,
I've never been excited about this.
And then I got three personal pizzas.
I ordered three.
And I, just to try different stuff.
Well, yeah.
And I was eating it. I was like, this is good.
It's quality.
It is.
It's good.
That's the other bit of context that I had to, like,
as I was at these two experiences, I was like, you know what?
It's mostly been someone else has gotten it.
So it's like, here's a thing that maybe was sitting in someone's car
for a while, or it's, you know, like, whatever.
I feel like you never got it in its ideal state,
and these were closer to that experience, the way it's supposed to be presented.
And also having some, you know, authority over what the toppings are and what have you.
I picked up from the Melrose location.
And let me say this.
Mitch mentioned the horny devil.
There is just kind of a little bit of a layer of sleaze to this place.
In addition to, like, kind of like the sacrilege, there's also kind of like a like you know like like hey it's hollywood baby and this
this is an example of that inside the restaurant there's a huge wall-sized lit sign that reads
providing oral pleasure that's you know what though if you were in the devil's house would
you flinch at something like that you wouldn't know. No, it's in character for Lucifer.
Yeah.
But it is like a little like, it's one of those things where that, and the other thing I'll mention, which is one of the pizzas we got today is called the ring burner.
It just kind of, there's just kind of that sort of stuff where it's just like.
How do you think they're going to react to that back in the old country?
No, they're going to be incensed in the old country.
They're going to be saying Mamma Mia.
It's like.
They're going to say Mamma Mia.
It is like, I listened to your guys episode of guys going to be saying Mamma Mia. It's like, it is like,
I listened to your guys episode of guys where you talked about hot sauce.
Guys.
That's right.
Great podcast.
But you don't want to think about your butt.
You don't know.
While you're eating.
And I also don't want to think about like,
I wasn't ever thought of my butthole as a ring either.
Yeah.
And I'm nervous about my ring now.
I don't know if it will burn.
I don't want to think that it might burn.
Well, that's a whole other thing, which we'll get to.
But I just, I feel like.
Oh, no.
No, I'm just.
We'll talk about it.
I'm going to speed through my experience.
First off, there are only two pizza sizes there.
There's personal, which Mitch got, and the XL, which I got.
And you pick your sauce, spice, intensity. The two that I got, I got. And you pick your sauce spice intensity.
The two that I got, I got one of their signatures.
One of them is the Greek lamb rosemary pizza.
And I got that with blazing sauce.
Their hottest, most intense sauce, because I'm a bit of a heat seeker.
I was hoping somebody got the lamb pizza.
I can't wait to hear about it.
I thought this was delightful.
It's lamb, caramelized onions, feta, kalamata olives rosemary garlic chopped parsley and mozzarella uh not to you know like
the right ratio of rosemary good and garlicky and i thought the lamb was well cooked i don't know
this this is like like an interesting sort of it almost felt like it was from like a different
concept in the sense of like i know this whole place's thing is like hey we have like these
recipes that we decided to the family recipes we decided to turn
into pizzas.
But like the marketing of it is kind of like, hey, we're kind of the edgelord pizza.
You know what I mean?
So to have like a dish that's a little bit more, has a little bit more thought behind
it.
I don't know.
It feels a little asynchronous versus the tone of the spot.
Wait, can I ask?
Because it was delightful.
Yeah.
Is the lamb ground lamb or was it like braised
hunks of lamb?
No, it's like hunks of lamb.
It's like off of,
I don't know if it was
off of spit or not.
Yeah, you had like
ground pieces?
Yeah.
Okay, you also got lamb?
Now I get to refer to my thing.
Wags, I too got
the Greek lamb
and rosemary pie
to the 10 inch.
Now I think my memory
is failing me.
Let me look at my pictures.
Man, after my own heart.
See, these are the Kalamata Olive.
That looks beautiful.
It was surprisingly good.
I was going to get a cheese pizza, which then why?
Because we got it today, and then we got a cheese pizza,
and we'll get to that in a second.
Yeah, I guess they were more kind of like –
but they were still kind of like formed into pieces.
I guess it was more sort of like – I'm looking at my photo of like formed into pieces like they i guess it was more
sort of like like i'm looking at my photo of it here we also made that different there's a little
like like a little like kind of a meat nug kind of meat balls yeah made with ground lamb kind of
yeah it's like lamb sausage almost yes that's that looks really good for both you guys no that one
was tasty and then the other the other one we got uh was quattro formaggi, which is not the traditional cheese this one has, as you might assume, for cheeses.
And this one also a lot of garlic on it, which was great.
Yeah, I thought this one was another just like solid.
It was honestly, even though it had the sauce on it, and we just got the medium intensity sauce for this one. It was kind of akin to a white pizza, just because it was
just so cheesy. I wonder if Dracula
would be pissed off. He's like, I come
to Lucifer's Pizza, there's garlic all
over the pizza. You are my friend, Lucifer.
You put garlic everywhere. I can't have this.
They're friends? We're friends.
Well,
why does he think he's being
impersonating an Armenian person?
I... Who are also friends.
Was that personal size or did you do the large?
No, we did XLs for both of them.
Because I was like, I want to get the proper pizza.
Because that's always the thing about the ratio.
You get the personal pizza and the ratio is off.
But that one was another winner.
These were both, like, solid.
They were, like, good pizzas.
Toss salad, which had – the description says spring mix.
So this is just coming out of a bag.
Spring mix, tomato, red onion, cucumber, and balsamic dressing.
I arrived and the pizzas were ready.
And she's like, let me make your salad.
And, like, she went back and did it in, like, 15 seconds.
So I think it was just assembling, you know some spring mix and some some pre-sliced
uh pizza toppings which is fine uh the balsamic was whatever uh the main thing i'll say is
uh and we got some ranch dipping sauces and some marinara dipping sauce the marinara i think was
just like the no uh no heat intensity uh which was kind of a little bit of a disappointment.
Here's one thing I do want to say about this whole thing.
It's like, it's fucking expensive.
Like I was kind of like really shocked
how much we spent on two pizzas and a salad for two people.
That was one of my notes.
It is, it's expensive.
And we ate almost all of it.
It wasn't like, oh, we had a feast.
It was like, oh, okay.
These XL pizzas are kind of like, you know,
for two people, we had like a few leftover slices.
Mine came out to $71.
Whoa.
Yeah.
And I got three small ones.
And if I'm being honest, I could have eaten one and a half of those pizzas on my own and been fine.
Yeah.
The personal ones are 10 inches.
They're not even – like I feel like a personal pizza shouldn't be 12 inches.
Isn't that a normal personal one?
I don't know.
Whatever.
It's like a little pizza from a movie theater yeah it seems 10 seems small too well my whole thought when i first got it yeah
i got i got the baked wings as well wags uh which we got some today the flame baked chicken wings
that's right i got my spice level was medium on those maybe should have gotten hotter because
we'll talk about those wings in a second but uh and i got extra ranch so I could have two ranches. No ranches arrived.
So I was like, there's no ranches.
This sucks.
And the wings we're going to talk about are,
there's not a ton going on with them.
So it was a bummer.
There was no ranch.
And then I was like, man, I got like personal pizzas.
This is going to suck.
But then when I flipped over the box for that lamb pizza,
it looked good as hell and it tasted good as hell.
And then the same for the other two.
I got a buffalo chicken pizza and I got that medium spice.
Yeah.
And I got a ring burner, which we'll talk about again.
And I got that fiery spice.
The Greek and rosemary one, I just, I did no spice.
Zero spice.
But all three of them tasted, they were good.
They tasted good. They were well-made. Yeah them tasted, they were good. They tasted good.
They were well-made.
Yeah.
Nice toppings, nice ingredients.
They were good.
Let's talk about today's experience.
So we got the, we again got the ring burner.
Now, you didn't specify a sauce intensity,
so I just asked for the hottest because I figured, like,
that's the whole point of this thing.
Yeah, yeah.
So we got the Blazin' Sauce on the ring burner.
This is their spicy pizza, which has has like, you know, pepperoni, which I didn't eat.
But, you know, it has a bunch of different peppers on it, a bunch of different spicy components.
I'll get a full inventory in a second here.
And then we also got just like a straight cheese, just a baseline cheese, which we got with the, you know, the no spice intensity level.
Also got some baked wings.
We got a cannoli
and then we got a Greek salad.
Eva, let's start with your thoughts.
I really was interested.
I remembered the ring burner
from when they first opened
because I would walk past
the place near my house,
the original Lucifer's location.
I would see the ring burner
and I would just be like disgusted.
Yeah, it's fucking nasty.
It's like, why would you do that?
What are you doing?
Don't do this.
Here's what it is.
It's pepperoni, jalapenos, black pepper, bell pepper, chili flakes, and mozzarella.
So it's, you know, the jalapenos.
Not even that much of a ring burner.
Yes.
That reminds me of the sketch from when we worked on Comedy Bang Bang together.
Oh, yeah.
Where Scott would eat some wings and they had pepper
on them and he was so upset because it was spicy yes yeah the idea of including black pepper and
like your ring burner and be like see it's got black pepper um i'm not as much of i'm not as
much of a heat seeker as you or natalie um but i do like spicy food every once in a while i thought
it was really good i thought it was delicious and i I thought it was delicious. It was a little zippy,
a little challenging with that
extra hot sauce, but I thought the whole
as a slice of pizza,
I had a whole journey eating it,
and I really enjoyed myself.
The wings, nothing
to write home about. There's
nothing going on with those wings. They're
boring. The wings are boring.
They seem unseasoned. They certainly are unsauced. They're just those wings. They're boring. The wings are boring. They seem unseasoned.
They certainly are unsauced.
They're just not buffalo.
They're just like a spicy rub on them that isn't every flavor.
But it's very subtle.
And maybe they're throwing some Old Bay on that or something like that.
And then some ranch dipping sauce.
I do want to say, and I didn't have ranch.
And it was just like, these are plain.
I used like a weird ranch I had in my fridge.
A bacon ranch or something.
That's not good.
It doesn't work.
But I think that for baked wings,
like the texture is good.
I've had baked wings that are like very gristly
and not good.
And I think that they are,
they're cooked well.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Yeah.
Do you agree or no?
Do you think baked wings is like
what McCartney and crew call it
when they blaze up backstage?
The 80-year-old man.
You could also do, you could do the sitcom.
You could do Thomas Hayden Church.
When Thomas Hayden Church and Paul McCartney get lit.
And Steven Weber.
Yeah.
They're all together.
Tim Daly.
Tim Daly.
Should I text Thomas Hayden Church and be like, what do you think of baked wings?
Should I ask them?
Like about the concept?
Like just that with no other context?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
See what he says.
Did you guys ever smoke weed and call it baked wings?
They'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
I told you not to call or text me ever again.
I think the wings are included out of a sense of obligation of like, we're a pizza place.
Pizza places are supposed to have wings.
Fine.
We'll fucking throw some wings in a pizza oven, but they, they, they don't seem to have
much, uh, much thought put into them.
Um, the salads, I think I feel similarly, like I feel like the Greek salad was fine,
but it was also just like a bunch of spinach
with some kalamata olives and some um and some feta and then a handful of like sun-dried tomatoes
on top when it's a greek salad that it was all spinach which i was like and then also when it's
just not a greek salad when it's also like a vinaigrette i'm like that's not you need to have
like some sort of greek dressing on this. It all felt like, beyond the
pizza, I felt like it was all felt like you were
having dinner at your friend's house.
Yeah.
That's a pretty good explanation.
That's basically spot on. That is it.
But the pizza is tasty.
But the pizza is good, and this is
a pizza place. Here
is my issue.
The place is Lucifer's Pizza.
They are leaning into
how spicy everything is.
And this is a point that was already made
about the Ring Burner pizza.
We got
the fucking blazing sauce on the
Ring Burner. Not only I got the blazing
sauce of the Greek Lamb Rosemary pizza,
we're both like, this tastes like nothing.
There is no real heat to this.
It's funny because I got the one level down
from my ring burner yesterday
and it was like, whew, this is kind of spicy.
But I'm like, it seems kind of like
it's on a whim maybe.
It's pretty mild.
I mean, I feel like it's like some pizza
with hot sauce on it.
It's kind of that level of intensity.
I dashed some fucking crystal onto my slice.
And it's like, for a place that's like,
this is a fucking spicy pizza.
This is our thing that we do.
Hell.
Hell level.
This is hell level.
And especially-
Natalie told me that she like went in
and saw you looking in the mirror at your ring
and you're like, my ring's ice cold.
She told you that?
Yeah.
She made a mirror.
Did it have like ice?
It's blue and icy.
Ice are forming around it.
Like crystallized shards.
Crystallized shards.
It's a, it's a uh it i like like especially because it has like pizza by its nature has a
bunch of cheese on it and dairy is going to cut down the heat intensity of anything like
i really was hoping for at least one fucking pie there that was just like oh this is a little bit
of a challenge oh this has some real heat to it. Cause like, like I'm not saying we,
I have to have fucking Howlin raise.
This has to be the Howlin raise a pizza. But if this is your whole gimmick,
I don't know.
I kind of want something with a little bit of,
of actual intensity here.
Here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's fair.
I think that's very fair,
but the pizza is fine.
Yeah.
I think the pizza is decent.
I,
I,
I,
I,
the pizza is better than I thought it would be.
So I don't know. I, I think the pizza's decent. The pizza is better than I thought it would be. So, I don't know.
It does just feel like the extra stuff feels kind of like just like something you're eating at a friend's house.
It just feels completely extra.
The desserts were good.
We got a cannoli today.
Wait, desserts?
Because the cannoli was the only one I tried.
The cannoli, and then I had the tiramisu yesterday. How was that? Both were good i got we got a cannoli desserts because the cannoli was the only one i tried the cannoli and then i had the tiramisu yesterday and both were good and i don't know if they make those
in-house or if they you know if they grab them from somewhere else but they were both decent
but if i were to go and like that's the thing is like you feel like you need wings but they're not
even buffalo wings no they're baked wings i think that and also this place is fucking the spicy
place shouldn't they have a fucking hot wing?
Shouldn't they have a super spicy wing?
Yes.
That feels like a no-brainer.
You could call it a puss lighter.
Try the puss lighter.
You get this puss lighter wing?
Fucking sear your snatch off.
Yeah, they should have... The pee is hot, too.
Wait, what?
The pee comes out hot.
I like that that was for me, so I'm like, yeah, I get it now, too.
Yeah, they should have some spicy wings.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah, okay.
Well, look, let's...
My piss was ice cold after I ate my meal.
Unfortunate, Wags.
We need hot piss.
We need a burnt ring.
You're not giving it to us.
I want to see a fucking bubbling witch's cauldron in my toilet afterwards.
I don't want to be looking at some fucking
like a Gatorade jug at the
sidelines of a basketball game.
Make it hot.
You pissed cubes.
I'm pissing out cubes.
We should write this into Yelp. Be like,
Sir,
I pissed cubes last night.
Your pizza's so not spicy, I was pissing cubes.
I agree that it should be the option.
There should be an option that's like, hey, like Lucifer level.
Yes.
Give us Lucifer level.
There you go, Mitch. That's the Yes. Give us Lucifer level. There you go, Mitch.
That's the pitch.
There, you fixed it.
Lucifer level, something that's going to knock my fucking socks off,
even if I'm someone who's craving spicy stuff.
Or here's something fun, too.
You want to make your order ninth level,
and then you can just order the ninth level of hell.
That's good, too.
Betrayal?
Is that what it is?
Yeah, that's where Judas goes.
Judas and Brutus.
Oh my God.
They're in the central circle
because they're the betrayers.
Yeah, isn't there a third?
There's like three traitors
or is it just those two?
Is there a third one?
I think the mouth of Satan
eternally weeping
is gnawing on the three traitors.
Those two of them.
I can't remember
what the third one is.
Or maybe it's just two.
But he's just eating their heads.
Yeah.
Right.
Ray Allen after he left the Celtics.
To join the Miami Heat.
I know.
Wow.
Traitor bullshit.
He wanted to go to hell.
All right.
We're going to take a break.
We're going to find out who that third traitor is when we be right back with more Doughboys.
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All right, welcome back to DOEBOYS as Shock, Doebo, or Death continues with Lucifer's Pizza.
It's time for our pitchfork score.
So, Eva, here's what we're going to do.
We're going to each go around, give our closing argument on this chain,
and give it a score from zero to five pitchforks
because it is the spookiest of months.
I would give it maybe three and a half for the pizza,
but I'm taking off a half for the sides,
even though it is a pizza place.
And for the ring burner just not being spicy enough, you sold me on that.
I thought it was tasty, though.
So, yeah, I'm giving it three flaming pitchforks.
Wow.
Good score.
That's a good score.
I wanted to say this mustache is so big, and there's, like,
sticky stuff that goes beyond your lip.
Like, I just don't understand where,
yours fits your face.
Yeah, mine's kind of like.
Do I have a small lip area?
Now I have a.
I guess I always thought of Mario and Luigi's mustaches
as being roughly equivalent,
but they also have like different proportions faces.
So maybe like to try,
maybe to make it feel like Luigi.
It should be a little totter.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's also going to like rip my mustache off for real when I take it off.
Your actual mustache.
My actual mustache.
You could use some oil like a little Vaseline or a little wind seed oil or something under there.
And then it will be easier to take off.
I think I'll just have Wagger rip it off at the end.
We also both should like in, in the Mario fashion,
we should talk until one of us, like, says something unfunny,
and then the other one takes over.
Which would...
Like the old school, like, one player, two player,
take turns way.
Yeah.
Yeah, way of going out.
Except if we would just be constantly going back and forth
with every other word.
I'm going to also give a shout out, Eva, to you.
When you had the Bart helmet on,
Bart helmet,
the Bart mask on, you were doing very
good. You looked like what someone
on the Hollywood
Boulevard would be doing.
Yeah, like a mascot
arm and gesture work.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I'm auditioning.
Strikes over, but
I might need another job. I have a Bart head now, I, you know, strikes over, but, uh, I might need another job.
And I have a Bart head now.
So if you see me on Hollywood Boulevard,
like take a picture.
Bart is motion capture.
I don't know if people know that about the Simpsons,
but Bart has forever been motion captured.
If you wore that to Hollywood Boulevard,
they'd kick you off for your costume being too nice.
In comparison to theirs.
Spider-Man,
we can get the fuck out of here.
Wags. Also, you said Ray, I went to the heat. I didn't get the fuck out of here. Also,
you said Ray Allen
went to the heat.
I didn't get that.
That's like the devil.
He went down to the devil.
What?
When I was like,
he's a traitor,
Ray Allen,
and you said he went
to the heat.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's like,
it's hot down in hell.
Miami heat.
Well,
they even mentioned that too.
Oh, well,
sorry. It's fine. And then, did we figure out who the final traitor was? It's hot down in hell. Well, Eva mentioned that too. Oh, well, sorry.
It's fine.
And then did we figure out who the final traitor was?
It's not.
It's pretty anticlimactic.
Who is it?
I said Traitor Joe, which was fun.
You did say Traitor Joe, and you sold it better during the break.
What, Traitor Joe?
Yeah, there you go.
That's good.
All right, thank you.
Emma, if we can always use that one, use Mitch's second read.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
If we don't use that one, use Midge's second read.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Okay, so the third traitor is just another person who betrayed Julius Caesar.
It's just Cassius.
So it's Cassius and Brutus.
And Brutus and Judas?
And Judas, yeah.
Judas and Brutus sound like a fun duo.
It could just be those two.
You don't need a third guy. Yeah, you don't need a third.
Get Cassius out of there.
You got Pachka, Satan.
Yeah.
There you go.
Et tu, Brute, and Cassius? Cassius out of there. You got Pachka, Satan. Yeah. There you go. Et tu, Brute and Cassius?
Cassius, you too.
If you were Cassius,
wouldn't you be like,
what the fuck?
I'm like with these two guys?
Yeah.
Doesn't seem fair.
Did I tell you guys
the thing about
when I saw Jesus Christ Superstar?
I feel like I might have said this
on the Doughboys.
Every year I've been going to see
Jesus Christ Superstar with Mookie.
Okay.
And there's this one touring Judas who's really good.
And this last year he wasn't in the production and we looked it up and it's because he did January 6th.
Wow.
An American Judas.
And it's on the Wikipedia page for the musical Jesus Christ Superstar.
Wow.
That's really funny.
Yeah.
We're just like, oh, what happened to that guy?
Oh, no.
And the way he got caught is that he was wearing a mask when he started the Capitol Police
House.
He was wearing a custom Michael Jackson jacket.
Wow.
So everyone was like, only one person has that jacket.
And they probably rants on the tour bus for Jesus Christ Superstar about being like a Oath Keeper.
That's so funny.
Anyway.
The Doughboys will never,
you can always come and tour with us
if you've done January 6th.
We don't care about it.
I'm now like licking the sticky part of the mustache.
It seems not good.
Anyway, I think that I was like,
I'm like Lucifer's is whatever.
Lucifer himself is scary.
Sure.
He still does scare me a little bit.
The restaurant, I was always kind of like, whatever.
But it is a fun, like, especially at Halloween.
Hey, we're getting Lucifer's Pizza and we're watching scary movies.
That's fun.
Sure.
There is also, I think, a much smaller chain, but Slasher Pizza-wise, which I brought up.
Which I have not had.
Which has more themed, I feel like, Jason and Freddy type pizzas.
And that place, I think, maybe is a better pizza than Lucifer's.
Lucifer's is a bigger chain.
Yeah.
And I don't dislike Lucifer's.
I think Lucifer's is good.
And I don't dislike Lucifer's.
I think Lucifer's is good.
I think it is a nice option for pizza that's not Domino's but also isn't like high-end pizza.
Right, yes.
But it is really expensive. But I do think if you got like – if you're in and you want a personal pizza, like they got a great buffalo chicken pizza, which makes you confused that they can't do buffalo wings better.
They got a great lamb pizza.
They got like great.
If you're,
if it's a few people each ordering like their own pizza,
I think you're going to have a good time with it.
The sides are nothing to write home about,
but their sides also aren't bad.
I think I'm going to go a little higher.
I'm going to do,
you know what?
3.75 flaming pitchforks.
Wow.
It's right outside.
That's a good score.
I think it's good.
I was like surprised that today when I had it again, I was like, this is good.
If people brought this pizza to a party, I would be happy.
If I got some of the small pizzas apart, I'd be happy.
The wings are not, you know, I wouldn't be thrilled about the wings and the salad seems
like a salad your friend made.
But overall, the pizza and what they're trying a salad your friend made but but overall the pizza
and what they're trying to do i wish that the that they had a higher level of heat but still is it
still falls under like oh yeah they make a spicy pizza and they do a good enough job 3.75 flaming
pitchforks kind of did an italian guy voice there with it they make a spicy pizza they make a spicy pizza. They make a spicy pizza. They do a good job. I think
we're going to be ballpark buds here.
I mean, like, I like
Lucifer's Pizza, and so the score
I'm going to give it is a good score.
I think this place deserves a good
score. I think it's
maybe just like, you know,
understand what the threshold
for good is on this podcast,
which is where I'm going to land here
i think this place is uh executes quality pizza i think it's yeah it's maybe a little bit too
pricey for what it is maybe a lot of the branding is a little too edgelord uh it's not it doesn't
deliver on the the spiciness promised by the premise uh and uh it's really just pizza is the
only thing to get from this spot but that's okay it's also a pizza place so that's what they're trying to do so that doesn't necessarily count as a big strike against it but it's really just pizza is the only thing to get from this spot. But that's okay. It's also a pizza place.
So that's what they're trying to do.
So that doesn't necessarily count as a big strike against it.
But it's not a huge thing in its favor either.
So I think Lucifer's Pizza lands right at three flaming pitchforks.
I think this is a three-fork chain.
I think this is a solid option if you're in the area.
But if I'm visiting L.A., if you're from out of town i'm saying
like hey where should i what are some spots i should hit up i'm not necessarily going to note
lucifer's pizza i think this is like a fine option if you want to get it for lunch or you want to get
for pizza some night some night like it's i'm glad that it exists and i hope it does well and
i've enjoyed my pizzas from there uh including these two visits um But I also feel like this isn't a place that knocks anyone's socks off,
both in terms of quality or heat intensity.
So three forks.
I think that's where it lands.
Three pitchforks.
Yeah.
That's a good score.
That's a good score.
That's a good score.
It's a good score.
It's honorable.
It's an honorable score.
But you know what's not honorable?
The hauntifying tale of the cursed maiden that's
right it's time for a segment and i hope you're hungry because we are having in test din in test
dinner What the hell? Yay! Intestine, but dinner.
Intest dinner.
Yay!
Easier to write, like, see on the page than to say aloud.
Intest dinner.
I hope you're hungry because it's time for intest dinner.
Use that one, Emma.
You can use that last read.
Yeah, sure.
Do you think Mario and Luigi, we said that Italians love Trump.
Do you think Mario and Luigi would be at January 6th?
I don't think Luigi would.
He's too much of a coward.
Oh, that's good.
He'd be at home crying.
Even if he-
The building's old.
It could be haunted.
Wario.
Wario would be there.
Wario would definitely be there on a big motorcycle bike.
Yeah.
I think the thing with Mario is I think he's kind of so brand conscious that he's kind
of apolitical.
I think he's kind of like so brand conscious that he's kind of apolitical. I think he's one of those guys.
He's like Michael Jordan talking about how like, you know, Republicans buy sneakers too.
He doesn't ever want to actually go on the record about anything.
I think that's how I think of him.
I think Mario would jump over Biden and then the bridge under Biden would collapse and he'd fall into lava.
And then he goes in the castle and it's Pelosi.
He saves Pelosi.
He would save like Marjorie Taylor Greene, I guess, in this scenario.
Anyway.
All right.
I'm dressing up like Italians.
But here we go.
Let's do this horrifying tale.
That's right.
Let me tell you about the cursed maiden who sounds perfectly ordinary until you learn she was a witch.
No!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
The maiden, yeah.
The maiden sounded so ordinary until I heard she was a witch.
Yeah, you hear she was a cursed maiden.
It's like, okay, it sounds normal to me.
I don't know what's possibly cursed about her.
Well, the curse is she was a witch.
Oh, my God.
And you know what happened?
That witch, the town, they got fucking pissed off at her.
They cut her up.
Yay!
They cut her up into a bunch of pieces.
Stupid bitch.
And we saved her fingers.
So you can reach in here and then feel the fingers.
So it's one of those sorts of things.
I washed my hands
I also washed my hands
ooh fingers
it feels slimy
yeah there's some fingers
oh that's gross her fingers
yeah her fingers are in there
fucking witch's fingers
that's gross
and you know what else
they also kept her eyeballs oh my god Fucking witch's fingers. Fucking witch's fingers. That's gross. And you know what else?
They also kept her eyeballs.
Oh, my God.
You can feel in here.
And, oh, these are gross and slimy little balls that you can reach.
So people who are listening to the audio, we have these bowls that have a little paper towel over the top of them. Ew.
That you can reach into.
And there's so many of them.
How many eyes does she have?
She had a lot of eyes. She's a fucking witch.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, that's fucking nasty.
It's fucking nasty. You know what else is nasty?
Her skin.
No!
By the way, that looks like it says
Mitch's skin.
It does.
Need a bigger container.
Alright, reach in here.
Hold on a second. Now, hold on a second. This is the curse bigger container. All right, reach in here. Hold on a second.
This feels kind of weird.
Now, hold on a second.
This is the curse's witch.
It says, severed fingers, human eyeballs.
Well, she was a human at a certain point.
Okay.
She turned into a witch.
I can't really tell what the witch's skin is.
It kind of feels like a tortilla.
These could be eyeballs.
They could be fucking balls.
Well, then it would just say testicles.
Forget it.
Oh, that's fucking.
The skin.
Mitch's skin is nasty.
Yeah.
But not as nasty as zombie intestines.
She's also a zombie.
See, this is what I was trying to point out.
It seems like there's inconsistency in the story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, the story.
Look, we need to get back to the writers.
She was a witch.
And then also, okay.
We had to shut down writing because of the strike.
So we didn't write quite beat out the cursed maiden.
Disgusting.
This one is legitimately very slimy.
It has a big oily residue.
And also, this one kind of smells.
Yeah.
Oh, man, that's intestines.
Yeah, that's pretty gross.
Ugh.
Yucky.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed your horrifying meal, because it's time to chase it down with
a glass of the witch's blood.
What the fuck?
Ew!
Thank you.
Wait, so they, like, hacked this witch up and then kept her blood?
Deserved to us?
Yeah, I think in my head, Ken, and it's kind of like she, you know,
her body was just kind of dismembered and various pieces were just, I mean, I think if you were trying to, like, do an autopsy on someone,
you'd preserve some blood, right?
Ow. I gotta pull my...
No, I told you to put the will on it.
Ah!
Why are you doing that now?
Why did you do that?
It just peeled his mustache off.
It looked really painful.
Alright, here we go. Blood.
Wait, it's in a bottle. Does it say
anything on it?
It doesn't say it. Wait, hold on. Blood. Let's drink some blood. Wait. It's in a bottle. Does it say anything on it? It doesn't say it.
Don't read the label.
Hold on.
Blood.
Blood.
Blood.
Oh.
The witch's blood is gross.
Witch's blood.
I guess we can also taste the other things, too.
The witch's blood is fucking nasty.
Yeah.
I don't know if I want to.
Eva's going to pass, but Wags, you and I can taste all of the things.
I'm going to try some zombie intestines now.
Well, this is just revealing exactly what it is.
Yeah, this is just pasta.
I'm eating from the back of the zombie intestines container.
You know, it's not bad.
Is it like maybe that's from a Lucifer's?
I think this is a...
No, I think Amelia made this.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and I think it's like just some olive oil, salt and pepper.
I'll try some.
Mmm.
It's not bad.
It's fucking good.
Yeah, I have some of this.
Good job, Mila.
The blood is fucking nasty.
How's an egg one with some of this?
You got an approximation of a carbonara.
It's pretty.
That's good as hell. Yeah, that's pretty good. Maybe I'll try some of this, you get an approximation of a carbonara. It's pretty. That's good as hell.
Maybe I'll try some of this witch's skin.
What the fuck is this?
I don't know.
Is it a rice wrapper?
Yes.
Were we supposed to guess?
No, that's fine.
I think it's a rice wrapper you put sushi in.
Wait, is that how the game works?
It looks like you were eating paper.
It just looks like you're eating your napkin.
It tastes like I'm eating a napkin.
Yeah, this makes sense. It's got seeds on it.
It tastes like a napkin.
Yeah. I think the thing you normally
would moisten.
It's very dry. Very dry.
This is a dry guy. I'm going to put this back in there.
Wait, is that how the game works at a party?
You're supposed to guess what it is? I don't know.
I don't think at parties you eat it.
I think you just put your hand in the bowl and feel it, and it's goopy and gross.
Got it.
I think only Homer eats it.
I don't think you're supposed to eat it.
Oh, so we're just doing a Simpsons bet?
He's not going to peel it.
Oh, these are string cheesies.
He's going to eat it in one bite.
That's what he does.
That's right.
It's more efficient.
I love digging a string more efficient. I love
digging a string cheese hole. I actually
like that too. I used to peel it
but then I became an adult and I gave up
childish things and now
I just eat cheese like a woman.
Like an adult woman.
What's left? Oh, these aren't just grapes?
Oh, they're grapes. They're peeled
grapes. Peeled grapes.
The grapes do a really good job of...
The peeled grape does a really good job of feeling like an eyeball.
They're like an original, an OG gross out.
How do you know?
Well, you know what I mean.
I don't know what an actual eyeball feels like, but I'm kind of in for her.
Do you guys guess what the blood is?
I think I know.
It's like a beet juice, right?
Yeah.
It's a fucking nasty ass beet juice i was
hoping it would be it would be grape juice oh it's good uh good do you like like any like like
gross dare foods or just like here's an exotic food that's like you know this is maybe something
that you're not used to but maybe they eat in other cultures and kind of try it and for the
curiosity factor i feel like we've talked about eating bugs.
Have we ever talked about guinea pig?
Oh, no.
In Peru, you get a guinea pig a lot of places.
I've heard about this, yeah.
And you can get it like – I got one place I went and got mushu guinea pig.
So it was cooked.
Whoa.
And it was in a little tortilla, like a little crepe.
That was good.
But then I got it with like the face and everything in another place.
And that was like really – that was a lot. Wow. And with like the face and everything in another place and that was like really that was a lot and I didn't
finish it yeah oh I've also
done that like we've talked about like the
maybe not the the
sorry Nick because you don't
eat these and I haven't done it in like decade
yeah but the baby octopuses that are
walking around oh yeah like
old boy style yeah you can get those in K-Town
yeah I used to do that but
anymore I give up childish things.
There's also like, isn't there like the bird, you eat like a bird that has like feathers on it?
We talked about this before.
You're talking about the ordolon, the French ordolon?
Yes, yeah.
Where you have to put like, you have to hang the thing over your head so you experience the animal.
And it's like feathers and bones in it still.
Yeah, it's like a one-bite bird.
Jesus.
That would be fun.
I would eat that.
I guess I'd try anything once, but I don't know about that.
You'd have to be in France to eat an ordolon, I think.
I thought that all of this witch's body was good.
Yeah.
I think the best part of the witch's body was the zombie Yeah. I think the best part of the witch's body
was the zombie intestines.
Yeah, zombie intestines are good.
Yeah.
Give me a bowl of that bad boy.
How does the story end?
That witch,
turns out she didn't even die.
Oh, yay.
Yay.
Dude, I'm scared
Turns out she didn't even die
Is there normally an ending for these?
I guess I should have looked one up
I mean look
I'd yell at you for it but I did nothing
Also
So I don't know
I think you did a great job.
Thanks, Mitch.
Wow, what a segment.
Will we ever do this segment again?
Maybe.
This was appropriate for Halloween, I think.
Yeah, it was fun.
And shout out to Amelia for putting all this food together.
Amelia, you kick ass.
That was fun.
Mm-hmm.
All right, that was in-test dinner, just like a restaurant without your feedback.
Let's open to the feedback.
Here's this email.
So I live in St. Louis, and there's a tradition that trick-or-treaters have to tell a little
spooky joke to get candy as they go door-to-door on Halloween.
Think jokes along the lines of, what position does a ghost play in soccer?
The ghoul keeper.
That's pretty good.
And you'll have the right idea.
It seems crazy to people when they first come here, but it really does add a a fun element to the night and most kids are excited to try to get a laugh
out of people anyway i have a two-part question one were there any halloween traditions unique
to where you grew up two what would be your halloween joke if you were trick-or-treating
in st louis oh man yeah i do I do remember a um
fucking Halloween joke I heard when I
was a kid what do ghosts get in their
nose what's that boogers I think that's
pretty good and it's also like kids
like that because it's kind of gross but
it's like gross in an acceptable to kids
way you know?
So that would probably be my joke.
My joke would probably be
swamp thing.
You make my swamp thing.
That email was from Adam,
by the way. I meant to say this. Adam sent that in
in St. Louis. Thanks, Adam.
I don't know any specific when I was growing up stuff.
I do have a friend in LA who has a bunch of trick-or-treaters.
They live on one of the big trick-or-treaty streets.
And they just put up the sign that says,
Dance for your candy.
And they just blast music outside.
That's good.
That's fun.
And so the kids are just like,
just like doing like a mosh pit before they can get candy.
I thought that was really cute.
That's cute.
Um,
that's a great idea.
Uh,
yeah,
I'm trying to,
I mean like Halloween traditions unique to the area. I have a,
I'm having trouble,
uh,
like parsing that specifically.
Uh,
we did have,
I feel like this is always the the the rumor of
like every town has like if you go to this neighborhood they give out full-size candy
bars that's always the thing there's always some like you know for us it was like the houses that
rung uh the the the liquid country club which is like a golf course if you go to liquid country
club they'll fucking give out like a full-size mr. Good Bar or whatever. And I never actually tried it.
And then also, I feel like every block has the one house you're not supposed to go to.
It's just with their one fucking, yeah, the lawn is completely gone to shit.
And then the light isn't on.
And then they give out unwrapped candy or something.
Or their religion doesn't let them celebrate.
Yes.
That's always fun.
My TikTok algorithm has been sending me women who are crying
because of all the satanic stuff at HomeGoods.
Wow.
And being like, do not celebrate this demonic holiday.
That's good.
And then they also set up the camera in the car, cried, and then added the thing about all the satan stuff at home goods have you ever been to i've
talked about this on the podcast before you ever been to like a christian uh any sort of like
evangelical like anti-halloween sort of event no that sounds like it would be really fun though
yeah i mean it was not fun but i also i also went when I was like eight and I was like wanting to do a Halloween.
And then my evangelical friend like had invited me and another kid to go over to like his church's backyard.
And they had a fucking, I remember I've probably said all this this month on the podcast, but they had like, it was like the Ghostbusters logo with like a witch in it.
Oh, nice.
It was basically like no Halloween is allowed.
This was an anti-Halloween like carnival.
Did you get to do anything?
No.
Wasn't there something like a dunk tank?
There was a devil, but they like couldn't afford a dunk tank or whatever.
So there was a fucking devil.
There was like a Lucifer devil.
Not the horny devil, like a classic sort of like red pitchfork devil.
Just played by like some like church dad.
And you could exchange tickets for wet sponges
and throw them at him not even water balloons wet no they're wet sponges you could re-wet them you
could get him wet and then he was like also a target over his junk well yeah I remember he
would he like played it like he was like really like no I'm scared like he played it like a scared
like you know wimpy devil this guy guy's a freak. He definitely got off on the game.
Sponge down dad.
Give the dad a wet
sponge bath.
He hates it.
That's the only thing I remember specifically from that.
Other than that, I just remember it was a very
generic, just shitty
carnival. Again, they just built
in the backyard of a church.
I've got to run a joke go for
it where do spiders do their Halloween
shopping on the web on the web oh I'm
sorry I won't guess no no you should
guess you just look up Halloween joke
what a ghost drink wags that's good for
the pod what do ghosts drink mm-hmm
bourbon booze mountain boo mountain boo evaporated milk Strink? Mm-hmm. Boo-urban? Booze? Mountain boo.
Mountain boo.
Evaporated milk.
What's this?
Hold on a second.
What's a zombie's favorite song?
These are so vague.
It could be anything.
Teenage Scream.
Teenage Scream?
There's a song called Zombie by the Cranberries.
Yeah. Why isn't that the zombie's favorite song? They could be like, what's your favorite Katy Perry song?
But just song in general, it could be like anything.
Okay. Well, how about this one?
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Evaporated milk.
Ice scream sandwiches.
This one actually, I mean that again, it could be anything.
This one actually does, this one's good.
Why can't werewolves play basketball?
Well, that was depicted in Teen Wolf.
Yeah, you think he can.
He's the star of the team.
Yeah.
They get too many howls.
Like fouls. They get too many howls. Like fowls.
They get too many howls.
One last one.
What's a vampire's favorite TV show?
This one's good.
There's all sorts of fucking Dracula TV shows.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
There's True Blood.
Spike. Was it called Spike? It might Spike Ted Lasso
Might be Ted Lasso
Ted Lasso
Ted Lasso
Just Ted Lasso
What's a vampire's favorite TV show?
Big Fang Theory
Yay
That is good
Boozinga.
When we were at the mall to do the-
Hey, that far up.
Boo-zinga was good.
Boo-zinga.
That was better than the actual joke.
A Cold Stone hat last night had a Dracula decoration, and he had a little speech bubble
covering his mouth, and he was saying, boo.
And my husband was like, he's never said boo.
Dracula's not saying boo.
I'm going to try it out this Halloween.
Boo.
Boo.
I say boo now.
Somebody just got a bunch of decorations, mixed them up, made Dracula say boo.
Ghosty's like, the fuck, man?
You fear you're fucking saying my shit?
No, I've always said boo.
I like to say boo.
What if I said, like, I want to suck your blood, man?
How would you feel about it?
I don't know why the ghost
is very much a hippie.
We died in the 60s.
Eva, also, thank you
for recording this
during the graveyard shift.
I don't know if people noticed,
we're recording this at midnight.
Oh, no.
You're right.
It's the witching hour.
It's the witching hour.
It is the witching hour.
This is,
I searched Bing
for some um
halloween jokes oh god uh this first one you got why did the ghost go to the bar to get to get
to get a booze uh booze to get a booze yeah you get a booze yeah there's there's like a
typo in this your friend from the carnival wrote that um okay these this one's pretty fun. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
Sandwich.
Very good.
What do you call a skeleton who refuses to work?
Lazy bones.
A liberal.
This one's pretty clever.
Why don't ghosts like rain?
Wet sheets.
Umbrellas related?
Both good answers.
The answer is it dampens their
spirits. That's good. That's clever.
I like it. That's a clever joke. That's almost
a poem. Yeah.
What do you get when you cross a snowman
and a vampire?
Snowmans aren't scary.
Well, the vampire's the scary part.
Maybe I should have led with vampire.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
Ice cold ring.
Frost bite.
That's pretty good.
Is this like a quality site, whatever you found?
I just chatted with Bing AI. Oh, that's pretty good. This is like a quality site, whatever you found.
I just chatted with Bing AI.
Oh, wow.
And just said, tell me some Halloween jokes.
And spit out five of them.
That's pretty good.
Let's see if Keith Cliff has a good Halloween one.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, so are you going to search AI for Heath Cliff,
or are you just searching?
He's going to. You're going to the Heath Cliff website? Yeah, I was just going to search AI for Heathcliff, or are you just searching? He's going to.
They're going to the Heathcliff website?
Yeah, I was just going to look at Heathcliff.
Don't they wear the mummy suits a lot?
They do like the mummy suits.
They probably also have ones where they're just wearing a wig.
Isn't there a Dracula with Heathcliff, or is it Frankenstein?
He has some sort of monster that's with him at some point, right? He's with the garbage ape a lot.
Oh, the garbage ape.
He will also oftentimes have helmets is a big thing in the Heathcliff.
You know, it's just like a shorthand for something.
So I wouldn't be shocked if there was one where he was just wearing like a helmet that said boo or something like that.
Is Sasquatch a part of like a monster?
Not the monster squad, a monster squad.
Would you put Sasquatch in there?
Well, he's a cryptid, right?
Yeah, I think cryptids are kind of their own thing.
You'd have to be friends with Loch Ness Monster and
Giant Squid.
So are they a no-go on Halloween
stuff or no?
They're real, but I mean, they're
legendary.
Does legendary fall under... I mean, you say
shark movies count as
scary movies. Shouldn't Bigfoot
and Loch Ness, shouldn't they be shouldn't
they get in there i mean if you want you know i do want you can dress up like harry and the
henderson's yeah it's fun all right here's the strip for the the current day i don't think this
is halloween themed um but this is we do see them wearing helmets here heathcliff has a helmet that
says cat and we'll maybe put this up on screen for the in the video feed heathcliff has a helmet that says cat, and we'll maybe put this up on screen in the video feed.
Heathcliff has a helmet that says cat.
He's next to a dog that has a helmet that says
pug, and
two birds who are sitting in a tree
say, I'm not sure what's
happening here. That's a classic.
I think that's pretty good. I think that's pretty
good. The birds are the reader.
The birds are the audience surrogate there.
But there's no joke at all?
Is that what they're saying?
I guess so.
Let's see.
I'm trying to find if there's a Halloween specific one.
Here's one.
It's Heathcliff, and then he's made a jack-o'-lantern in the form of a snowman.
Three pumpkins on top of each other.
And the caption is,
these two ladies behind him talking about it,
he loves the snow.
Yeah, he loves the format.
Peter Gallagher, who's the current artist behind Keith Cliff,
loves the format of having two characters
from outside the action comment on what's going on.
Weird.
Yeah, so it built a snowman out of jack-o'-lanterns.
Speaking of that theme, this one I think is pretty good.
This is Heathcliff, and he's manning a stand where he's selling pumpkins,
carved pumpkins next to a little boy, and it says,
John-o'Lanterns,
and the caption is,
maybe it's the name.
So I think the idea is he has unsold inventory
because he's calling them
John-O-Lanterns
as opposed to Jack-O-Lanterns.
John-O-Lanterns.
I like John-O-Lanterns.
John-O-Lanterns is pretty good.
Is the boy named John?
Is that what we're supposed to believe?
No, I don't think
the boy's named John-O-Lanterns.
Here's another one
that's very close.
It's a bunch of
garbage pills on top of each other and a pumpkin on top and it says junko lantern okay that's good
i like i can i understand that what the point is all right this is not halloween themed but i think
this is maybe fitting just because of its general sort of like you know absurdity uh this is a
self-defense it's a it says self-defense it's a storefront and then outside of it is a self-defense. It says self-defense.
It's a storefront.
And then outside of it is a frog.
I believe it's a frog and a karate gi.
And the caption is, still no students?
With a question mark.
With a question mark.
Is it because he's so diminutive?
He's so small.
Why would I want to learn self-defense from that little frog?
Yeah, I think still no students. Yeah. Why would I want to learn self-defense from that little frog? Yeah, I think.
Still no students.
Yeah.
Okay, I can kind of track that.
Here's one that's fitting, Wags.
Heathcliff is standing in front of a place called Mario's Pizza.
Whoa.
And he has the pizza box open.
There's bats flying out of it.
And it says Halloween toppings.
Bats? There's bats flying out of the box And it says Halloween toppings. Bats?
There's bats flying out of the box.
That one's good.
They're flying into the moon, and the moon also looks like a pizza with bats on it.
Yeah, it does.
It's very confusing.
Did you just look for Heathcliff Halloween?
Yeah, I searched Heathcliff Halloween.
Okay, because I was looking at October of this year trying to find.
No.
Let me go through.
There's one that says, this is my busy season, and it makes no sense.
It's Heathcliff walking with a black cat, and there's two ghosts and a witch in the moon.
There's one where Heathcliff's carbon pump says he's freeing the jack-o'-lantern from the pumpkin.
Oh, like it's kind of trapped within there?
I guess so.
This one is from, this is from the October 31st strip.
So the Halloween strip from last year, 2022.
And this is Heathcliff in front of a house.
And there is a convoy of classic monsters walking out.
We've got a,'ve got a wolf man.
We got a mummy.
We got a witch, a Frankenstein, and a Dracula.
And then up in the tree are two owls,
and they are hooting the caption,
I've always wanted to go to a mash.
All right.
Kind of a slice of life sort of thing.
Yeah.
Here's my last one.
Okay.
Imagine laughing at that.
It's just a person and life.
It's Heathcliff.
He's next to a giant guy in a cowboy costume.
You see here.
Flags.
Yeah.
And then it says there's two,
there's a family watching him from a window and says,
there's a man eating him from a window. It says, there's a man-eating giant Halloween party.
What?
What the fuck does that mean?
That guy's a giant guy?
Yeah.
And then it says, there's a man-eating giant Halloween party.
There's no punctuation.
So that man is a party?
Or I think that he's the party. He's that man is a party or i think that he's there's the party he's a man
eating giant heathcliff is going to a man eating giant halloween party with the man eating giant
look emma can you play the mario
um i have one more and then after that can we play the uh we just play the game over sting
which is a different one.
We're back at Mario's Pizza.
That's what I was doing.
Oh, right.
No, you play the Loss of Life.
That's different from the Game Over Sting.
Got it.
There's two different things.
I got it.
Okay, so we're back at.
I don't need to play.
We're back at Mario's Pizza.
This is a Sunday strip.
This is from October 31st, 2021.
So again,
it's the Halloween strip.
Um,
we are depicting,
uh,
a bunch of monsters dancing there.
We got a skeleton,
a wolf man,
a Frankenstein,
uh,
a bride of Frankenstein,
a mummy and what have you.
They're all bogeying with some music notes.
Uh,
there is a pizza man walking up to a haunted house.
He presents his pizza with pepperoni and eye of newt.
And then the punchline,
I've always wanted to go to a mash.
He did the same punchline two Halloweens in a row.
Two Halloweens?
Come on, man.
Oh, no.
There's no editor. There's no editor.
There's no one being like, oh, great job, Peter.
But you just did this.
I think he's thriving is the thing.
I think people, I think the Heathcliff fans love his current output.
Oh, great.
And he's also bringing in some new fans.
All right.
Thanks for the question, Adam.
If you have a question or comment about the world of Chain Restaurant, you can us at doughboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us voicemail
at 830 go to that's 830-463-6844 and to get the doughboys double our weekly bonus episode join
the golden or platinum play club at patreon.com slash doughboys eva anderson always a thrill to
have you thanks so much for being here for the fair this very spooky episode. Thank you. Anything you'd like to plug? Yes.
I am doing a live immersive show in Los Angeles
November 30th to December 3rd.
If you want to purchase tickets,
they just went on sale yesterday.
This is dropping Thursday.
The website is theshapeofthenight.com.
That's theshapeofthenight.com. That's theshapeofthenight.com.
It's an immersive party about nightmares and dreams.
Tell us the dates it's going to be running again.
November 30th to December 3rd in Koreatown, Los Angeles, California.
Well, if you're in the LA area, definitely check that out.
Give us the URL one more time.
Theshapeofthenight.com.
Awesome.
Well, there you go.
Yeah.
Guys, thanks for having me.
Oh, my God. What a treat. Thanks for being here.com. Awesome. Well, there you go. Yeah. Guys, thanks for having me. Oh, my God.
What a treat.
Thanks for being here.
So much fun.
A thing that we used to do on Halloween Wise,
we use our pillowcase instead of a...
That's a fucking cool bad kid thing.
Then you reach a certain age,
you get a fucking pillowcase,
you get extra candy.
When it's just like,
I'm not going to get any more candy.
It's however many houses you go to.
A little pointer for all of our kid listeners out there.
Would you put your head
on like an uncovered pillow
at that night?
I probably,
I think yes
because I think it would stay
in the bag for a long time.
Oh man.
Or you'd be like,
Ma,
give me like an old pillowcase.
I should give you
some cummy old pillowcase
and you go out there
with that.
Aw.
Ma,
whose cum is this?
Don't worry about it.
Just get out there. Because I'm a little kid. It's not my cum. I shouldn't even know what cum is this? Don't worry about it. Just get out there.
Because I'm a little kid.
It's not my cum.
I shouldn't even know what cum is.
Take the cummy pillowcase and enjoy your Halloween.
Okay, Mom.
Jesus, get on my back.
Wives, I think there's only one last thing to say.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I thought we were going to do it.
Oh, we're going to do it together?
Yeah.
That'll do it for this episode of
Doughboys
until next time
for the Spoonman
Mike Mitchell
I'm Nick Weiger
happy haunting
oh no
see ya
bye
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Sources for the intro are in the episode description.
That was a HateGum Podcast.