Dragon Friends - #1.03. The Less Theatrical Hobgoblin with Jordan Raskopoulos
Episode Date: August 11, 2015Desperate to escape Daggerford, The Dragon Friends pose as porters to Kithercy Gellantara (played by special guest Jordan Raskopoulos), a righteous paladin that really should know better. Hosted... on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
As glory's just beginning, our adventure never ends
The saga of the heroes that they call the Dragon Friends
When last we left the Dragon Friends
They'd just committed a series of gruesome and entirely needless murders
While they were meant to be auditioning as performers
There was Leonard
Can I cast a witch bolt at Leonard?
The Jailer
Barry
So what else can I do?
You can do whatever you want, but you have to kill him.
And a lion.
God told me to do it.
Now they're on the run after being framed for murdering the Duke,
a crime that, against all odds, they didn't commit.
It was, in fact, the Duke's brother who is desperate to hunt them down
and kill them before they can reveal the truth.
Make sure that our friends do not survive.
Oh yeah, and Filge still has that dead rat.
Please keep voice down, me rat sleeping.
And now, this.
It has been two days since the death of Alexander Tyrrell,
Right Duke of Daggerford.
of Alexander Tyrrell,
Right Duke of Daggerford.
It has been one day since the coronation
of his bastard brother,
Davin Tyrrell,
the man you suspect
was responsible for his murder.
Davin Tyrrell has successfully
framed you for the murder
and you're on the run from his guards.
You have broken out
of his castle, Daggerford Castle, and you are making the run from his guards. You have broken out of his castle,
Daggerford Castle, and you are making
your way back to town, but your hearts
are heavy. For who would
believe three such as you
against the word
of such an honoured gentleman?
It's dark and it's raining
and you have little to say to each other until
you see the town across the
hill. Maybe we shouldn't go back into town.
It seems like a terrible trap.
Nah.
I reckon if we go back into town,
they're going to be,
oh, they're the ones who rid us
of that horrible Swift features
and will get carried up on their shoulders
like a tribute in the Roman days.
I reckon they're going to say,
there's that guy who killed our favourite lion.
Let's get him.
So what are our other options then?
Having a nap.
I don't know, like live in a cave for a couple of years?
Should we rest before we go in maybe?
Can we rest before we go in?
We've already rested.
We've already rested.
Well, I've already got my spell slot, so let's go.
So to be clear, it's about two hours from the town. rested. Well, I've already got my spell slots, so let's go.
So, to be clear, it's about two hours
from the town. You've caught your breath,
you've had a short rest,
recovered spell slots, your hit points are still
where they were at the last adventure. I hope you're keeping track
of them. Ooh, you're on one
hit point, Alex. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you took a beating, so
you're hurting, which is another reason you might want to get to town.
Basically, you guys can live in a cave forever if you want,
and that will be the end of the adventure of the hermits
that they call the dragon friends.
Is this the original Daggerfort town that we were...
Yes, it's the town.
Same town.
You guys, if you remember, you have humble lodgings at the Dragonback Inn.
And you still owe Grim Saltback 50 gold pieces.
Alright, here's a thing. 30, I think it was 30.
If we go back there, we're going to have to give him
that money, but
there's no other bar in town.
No, I have temple membership because I grew
up there and was homeschooled
there. How many plus ones do you get?
None, but I have
lodging at all the
local temples. So we can just go to the local
temple and chill out there. Yeah, this is true. So
just to be clear about what Hing is babbling
about there, Hing is
a junior acolyte of the
Temple of Mystra. Did we
talk about last week how I was expelled or something?
Am I on academic suspension or something? I can't remember.
The shorthand we've been using is a
homeschooled wizard, which is
not a million miles away from the idea.
So you...
Right, but I can go to any temple and there are mortis lodgings there,
so let's just go stay there.
We don't have to pay that bloody...
Can they fix me with magic?
I think so.
Probably.
I assume so.
Let's go there and rest, Chesh, can we?
So that's where you want to go?
Yeah.
To the temple!
Okay.
You make your way through the town and very quickly as you're approaching the
town you see lights everywhere. It seems that the town is up and in uproar. There's the smoke of
torches and there are obviously patrols going through the streets. So you're going to have to
work out your approach. Now are you sneaking? Are you trying to run there as fast as you can? Or are you just brazenly walking up to the door?
Are we strutting?
Yeah. Have you seen that clip of the Bee Gees?
We're going to give that a crack.
Well you can't tell by the way I'm running around, I've killed a lion.
Okay, you start strutting late at night down the main avenue of Daggerfall.
And I'm like just pointing at people as I walk.
So the two of you are strutting and Filch is desperately in need of medical attention.
Which is very heavy.
What are we going to do?
I'm just being dragged along by my hair.
I just want to say you're both very cocky
for the two that fell off a bridge into the water
while Filge did the final fight for you last time.
Incredibly cocky.
You've got the most hit points.
You walk towards the temple
and as you are walking,
making no attempt to hide yourselves,
you spot a patrol of two guards coming in the opposite direction.
They see you and they call out...
They go,
Oi!
Oi!
What are you bloody doing that for?
What's all that about?
I don't like the look of this at all.
And the other one's like,
okay.
Let me handle this.
Please.
Excuse me, officers.
What seems to be the problem?
What you do out?
I know that there's a curfew out there strutting about?
Well, we're on our way to the temple where I have membership as I am a member of it.
So if you would just let us pass, we'd go and we'd be off your streets in no time at all.
Is this going to trigger a check?
I think that is going to...
What? What? So that is deception because you are escapees from the dungeon of Daggerford Castle,
who presumably is something they would want to know about.
But how would they recognise us?
Where have you been tonight?
Earlier this evening, we were at home with our parents.
We're from a foster home.
Sorry, didn't you just say that you were from the temple, famously supported by
orphans? Yes. Now,
let me explain that for one moment.
I was originally schooled in the temple.
However, uh,
Filger's parents, who are a human and an orc,
that's why she's a half-orc. Hang on, is she a half-orc?
She's a half-orc. And are you a wizard?
Yes. And is that short bloke a halfling? No, no, no.
He's just... I'm a dwarf.
I'm a dwarf. I'm a very skinny dwarf.
Make a deception check, Hing.
Make a deception check.
All right.
This is our first check of the night.
So, Hing, take a 20-sided dice.
Yep.
And what is...
Deception is zero, so I don't have a modifier for that,
but I roll a 15.
Good grief.
Who'd have thought it?
The guards look at you inscrutably,
and you wait very slowly while Colt's turn...
I refuse to break eye contact.
And then one of them turns around and is like,
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Let's just... Yeah, run away!
Run away! See what happens!
And then they do.
And they live another day.
Yeah.
That's a very good point.
Before we pass judgment on those guards,
they're the only two guards to have so far survived
a chance meeting with the dragon friends.
You make your way up to the doors of the temple
and presumably bang three times on the door.
That's the secret knock.
It squeaks open and the shaved head of a junior acolyte of the Temple of Mystra peeks out.
Hi there, prof... sir?
I'm Friso, I'm a member of this temple and I have two of my friends with me.
One is a half-orc and one is a dwarf.
As you can see.
And we were wondering if we could stay here for the night.
Hi, Friso. How are you?
Are we still on for squash tomorrow?
Oh, sorry, I couldn't see.
Have you had a haircut recently?
I have always been bald.
I think I'm used to you wearing that wonderful wig
that hides your baldness so well.
Why are you lying to me?
You know what?
Should we break character for a second?
Generally in improv, you yes and, alright?
This is a lot of blocking going on right now.
It's less yes and and more fuck you.
Anyway, I've...
What should I...
Sir?
So just be aware that anything you say at the table
is what you are saying to him.
Okay, Friso, I know what you're going on about blocking and improv,
but would you like me to get the head of the temple for you?
No, just let us in would be best.
You live here, that is also fine.
Okay, please let us in,
and I will take my friends up to my room.
She looks terrible.
Oh, yes, do you have any...
Fix me.
Yeah, cool.
Well, it's certainly my turn to clean,
so I guess I'll be mopping up orc vomit.
All right.
Oh, no, wait, it's half orc vomit.
Lucky day for me.
Always so glad of our little chats, Friso.
Well, I know where my room is because I live here,
so I'm just going to go there with my friends.
Do so. Okay.
Okay. After a painful
conversation, as the acolyte
slowly and angrily
picks up a bucket and starts
cleaning, you make your way through the stone
stairs and past the
ensconced torches
into the temple
itself. Mystra is the mother of magic.
This is a temple, but also
a house of magic.
And this is where you did your schooling.
Such as it
was.
Can we just rest?
Maybe because I have a feeling
that someone in this temple
is going to either betray us or try and question us or we're going to have to fight.
So maybe we should just take some time to rest.
We should hold up in your room.
Your room, just so you are aware, is because as all acolytes, you took a vow of poverty.
Your room is like a small wooden board and a bowl full of quinoa.
That is very expensive.
Is this poverty quinoa day?
What do the poor eat?
Quinoa.
And only just some scraps of rotting kale.
Well, it's just you all laugh.
Daggerford is a farming community
which mostly grows quinoa, so actually the way that the economy works
is that quinoa is very cheap, but if you want some bread, you're joking.
Yeah, you are full of jokes.
All right.
The bloody jokes.
So you could probably, one of you could sleep on the bed.
All right, well, let's prioritise and I'll sleep on the bed then, obviously. Let's put Filge on the bed
because she's about to die.
Do you want to have a little
lay down, buddy?
Do you want to cuddle up to Katie?
While you're working this out,
there is a soft knock on the door.
Don't come in!
Don't come in!
The voice goes,
Friso? Is that you?
Yes! No, but don't!
Are you wanking again, Friso?
Yes! And you don't want to see it again!
Remember what happened last time?
You were very embarrassed.
Do you want to very quickly make a perception check for me
and try and beat ten?
Fourteen.
Fourteen.
Okay, you recognise the voice as Mistress Lorna,
who is the mistress of the temple,
but she was also your teacher.
So you have a long history with her.
Oh, yes, we do.
Yeah.
No mistress.
Mistress.
I quickly pull the covers over Filge
so that as much of her is covered as possible
and I crawl into the upper corner ceiling of the...
and just stand there like Spider-Man above the door
so that she can't see me if she comes in.
Can I make a perception check
to see if I believe that he's wanking?
I'll do the noise if you want.
I don't see why not.
What do I got to be?
Don't come in!
It's a very easy check.
It's a 10 because the noise of Friso wanking is horrifying.
And one doesn't forget it.
So how do you critically hit
knowing that I'm not wanking?
How do you just nail that?
What she says, she says, Friso,
I know what your wanking sounds like.
And it sounds like this. And then she
flawlessly replicates it.
How does she do that though?
She goes,
flawlessly replicates it.
How does she do that, though?
She goes,
Ah!
Mistress, I've been working on my wank screens.
She opens the door.
I've never been more embarrassed
to be not touching myself.
Well, as you can see,
I'm just here by myself.
Freezo, freezo, Freezo.
Have I taught you nothing?
Apparently not.
I was your teacher.
Little teacher joke there.
Anyway.
She sees the orc and she, despite your best efforts, Bobby,
in a tiny room with literally nothing except a plank of wood
and a ball of quinoa that you chose not to hide in. I didn't think it was that big a ball. I think wood and a ball of quinoa that you chose not to hide in.
I didn't think it was that big a ball.
I think it's a bowl of quinoa.
Is it a barrel?
She looks at
you and she says,
the guards came an hour ago.
I know what's happened. You seem to be
in an awful lot of trouble.
They say you killed the Duke.
I know, Friso, you'd never kill anyone.
The blanket goes, ha!
Friso goes real cold for a moment and goes,
yeah, you're right, I wouldn't.
I would never, ever hurt anyone.
Especially you, mistress.
Oh!
And she goes,
uh, okey-doke.
Ah, this must be your companions. Filch, Bobby,
you must be tired.
I drop to the ground and land graceful as a
cat.
Mistress Lorna claps her hand. No, can he do a
check, please?
Actually, yes.
Can you?
That's an acrobatics check,
and we're going to say,
because you've been up all night and I'd love it if you failed,
that it's moderate,
so you've got to beat 15.
Ooh, a good 10.
I land on my face.
But none of my teeth fall out.
I have many things to talk to you all about.
Something interesting, perhaps.
Please, rest up the night.
Enjoy the quinoa.
Sample of the local artisan broad juice.
Can I ask, Mistress?
Have a goji berry smoothie, why not?
Do you have any bread?
Bread? Are you out of bread? Bread?
Are you out of your goddamn mind?
Oh, it's just, you know, I thought it'd be easy to make some.
All you could do is you could use the quinoa to make a flower and it's not important, it's fine.
So what's going to make me not nearly dead?
Is it quinoa?
What has to happen to me?
It's a rest, which you're about to have, which is great.
So let's rest up for the night.
So she goes night-night and then closes the door.
Actually, she claps her hands and acolytes come in
and they lead you to your own terrible rooms full of artisanal food.
So we're all in separate rooms?
You're all given separate rooms.
So you can wank to your heart's content.
Yeah, from my room.
As soon as they close the door.
I've not been alone in days.
You looked me...
The last time we got up on this table,
got up and did this show,
you looked me in the eye and said that you were done
with the filthy humour.
But you know what's funny?
The last time we did this show,
there were several kids in the audience
who kept being like, oh, so sorry, so sorry, so sorry.
And this time, nope.
So all of you regain.
You can actually roll one hit dice each at your constitution
and gain back that many hit points.
And we're about to meet our guest.
Yeah, we do, because in the morning,
you go down to breakfast
and the temple is
quite empty. Mistress Lorna is still there
eating some kind
of quinoa.
Excuse me, but I got one.
Then you gain, I'm afraid,
three hit points back.
Maybe you might meet someone soon
who is gifted in the ways of magical healing.
Boy, I hope so. Because the other person that you meet at the temple is a quite intimidating figure
dressed in armour, a shield to the side of her table and a scabbarded sword as well.
And to play her today, will you please welcome from the Axis of Awesome, Jordan Raskobolek!
I am Kivisi Galantara, Paladin of Wrath's Eternal Righteousness, Beholder unto the Truth, which is an acrostic that says KG Power Butt.
I did not notice that when you sent it to me.
Now, Kithasi is a level two paladin,
and she's a paladin of the sun god Amuanata.
So what I've done for you, Jordan,
because I like to give gifts to guests,
is I have...
A hot dog.
That would be weird, wouldn't it?
I have put together for you a reading from the first book of Amuanata,
and this includes holy laws and commandments.
You're treating me like someone who hasn't already done their fucking research.
You know what?
This is true.
He's used to playing with people like us.
If you suddenly just dumped on the table a giant dusty book, that would have been amazing.
So here you are.
These are your commandments.
And as a paladin, you've sworn a holy oath to uphold them.
You can just have a look at them in your leisure, but just so you've got something to have a little look at.
So what's a paladin all about?
So I'm a holy crusader.
I am lawful good, so I believe in the law and I believe in good.
I certainly don't believe in killing people for no reason.
And I am dedicated to the god of the sun, Amu-Anator.
So look, I'm a fighter and a healer and a lover and all things in between.
No one to hold them, no one to fold them.
How old are you?
How old is your character?
Rude.
No, I just mean like, are you like, because paladins sometimes are like wizened.
My character is a human.
So she's in her mid-twenties.
Oh, cool.
So she's a young...
She's like a Hillsong type.
Yeah.
Basically.
One of those cool
churches of the sun god.
We call it Thrill Song.
But in
elf years, you know, it's fuck all.
Okay. So Lorna
comes up to the table and says,
Oh, good. I see
you've met Kithesee.
It occurs to me that she may have a unique solution to your problem
Of being so egregiously framed for murder
You see, Kithese, she explains, is not obviously of our temple
And is merely passing through on
How'd you get in here then?
Who let her in?
We're just letting any
riff-raff in here now, aren't we?
Actually, what happened
was the man who was meant to be looking after the door
had gone to get a mop and...
Kithesee is on her
way to Waterdeep and she has a wagon
for this purpose. Now, it's
not... I'm sure you realise
the guards are out looking for you
and I've already been told by other acolytes
that there is now guards posted at the gates of the Wals town
and it's difficult to get out.
Kithisi has papers that will let her out and through
and it is not unreasonable for a paladin of her stature
to have porters and servants.
So, I've spoke to Kithisi
last night and... Yes, and you
assured me that these people are good and that
the charges are
obviously wrong and
that they are not the kind of people to ever break
the law or commit any murders. Is that correct?
Just to reinforce that I'm
doing everything by the book.
The good book of Amu and Ator. If you'd like
to hear about him some more,
I have some tracks.
Excuse me, Kifusi.
You've got a wagon?
Yes.
Does that mean you have a pony?
I have a bartered steed.
What's his name?
Arthur.
What colour is it?
Brown.
Can I pat it?
No.
Remember what happened last time?
You didn't feed it with that flat palm
and you got your fingers bit, didn't you?
You got a flat palm when you're feeding a pony.
We're going to feed that pony later.
I put a lot of quinoa in my pockets.
So is this a plan that you guys want to go for?
Well, yes, because we need to get out of this town.
Now, if we're heading to Waterdeep, though,
won't there be more guards and people looking for us there?
Well, I'm from Waterdeep, and I'm wanted for being a thief.
So it's not great for me.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
And by thief, I mean thief of hearts,
because I am such a ladies' man.
You wink at Kifusi
as you say that? Wink!
He doesn't wink, he just says wink.
I actually can't wink.
I can blink or I can say wink.
My understanding I think is that Bobby's
been out to country, away from the
city for a while now.
Maybe the heat's died down you think?
I think the heat probably will have died down.
And you've got friends in Waterdeep that might be able to help you.
You do have friends there. There are certainly probably people there that would kill you.
But...
Waterdeep is a large place. It's easy enough to lose yourself there.
Alright.
Use yourself in the music at the moment.
And then she takes out...
Not spaghetti.
Spaghetti.
Okay.
Thank you.
We're set off?
That guy comes back with a mop.
All right.
Let's just go, shall we?
Let's get into it.
All right.
Does Kithisee have any healing powers that might help Filjah before we set off?
You know, you can look at me.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ask me that question.
Just because she's from a different temple, guys.
I'm really sorry.
Can we speak to her really slowly?
Like she can't understand us.
Hi, Kithesi.
Hello.
Mission bone sticking out.
You fix.
Sure, I lay hands.
I lay hands.
I'll grow up.
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Come on. Come on.
Oath of chastity, you guys.
Sorry.
I lay hands and give some hit points back to Filch.
Do you know how many? I think you can give up to ten.
I can give up to ten a day,
so have three hit points.
Treat yourself.
Yeah.
I have a feeling I may need to use the other seven later.
Just so I know for future reference, Kithesee,
can you cast those laying hands on yourself?
Can you heal yourself?
Yes, you can.
Dude, come on.
What?
I'm sorry, Kithnessy.
When I think about you, I heal myself.
So, Mistress Lorna provides you with provisions,
travelling cloaks,
and if you want, she also offers to pass your payment on to Grim Saltback.
It would not be a problem at all.
In fact, I'm going to see Grim.
Actually.
I'm going to see Grim's scar back. It would not be a problem at all. In fact, I'm going to see Grim. Actually. I'm going to see Grim's scar concert very soon.
Mistress, I'm a little bit short of money.
Could I borrow 30 gold pieces from you to pay Grim?
Also, I'll take it out of the orphan's fund.
Thank you.
We're good for it.
All right, so you...
I'm horrified.
She packs your bags.
You decide not to pay Grim Saltback back.
She packs a lunch for all of you.
Thank you.
Of quinoa.
And she provides you, as I said, with travelling cloaks
to play the part of porters to Kithisee.
Yes, I also have a ten-foot pole that needs holding by one of you.
Bags not. Bags not.
Damn it!
You make your way through the
streets and you can see that the
guards have, if anything, picked
up the speed at which
they are searching for you
and in fact it looks like more of them
are going to make their way to the temple soon.
So you're probably, it's good that you're getting
out.
As you make your way down towards the streets
you see that there is indeed a checkpoint
placed at the gates and
as you approach
and Kithasi, you have papers that will
get you through this so I imagine
Yeah, yeah, I just hope I don't have to lie
because I can't.
Okay.
That is one of the commandments.
Oh, yeah.
Never lie or cheat.
Never lie or cheat.
That's commandment number two.
So you make your way to the gate where you see two guards.
The law is the law.
Commandment number one.
You see two guards waiting who seem bored, disinterested,
waving people through.
And as you approach, they ask...
Oh, they're talking to each other.
And they're like...
Have you heard the newest Grim Saltback track?
It's all a lot of horns.
Didn't these guards die?
No.
Are you guys talking about the Mighty Mighty Hearthstones?
I love the Mighty Mighty Hearthstones.
Oh, yeah.
I love the bloody Mighty Mighty Hearthstones.
The song they play.
Get a goblin and dance with it.
It's such a good song.
I love it.
I love it.
Can't get enough.
Anyway, on your way. Thank you. And's such a good song. I love it. I love it. Can't get enough. Anyway, on your way.
Thank you.
And you make your way through.
Just so you know, Kithisee is genuinely a fan.
She has to be.
Yeah, she is.
Can't lie.
Can't lie.
Can't cheat.
You make your way.
As I said, Waterdeep is two days' ride.
Can't lie.
You make your way, as I said, Waterdeep is two days' ride,
so you start walking and you take the opportunity to properly introduce yourselves to Kithisee
and to reminisce a little bit about the time that you've spent
in a way that would be appropriate to reminisce
in front of a lawful good paladin.
So how did you get into being a paladin?
Is that a uni course, like a TAFE thing?
How does that work?
Look, I was an orphan.
Hey, me too!
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, and so it was either that or sex work,
and I thought, you know, why not?
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty liberal about this kind of thing.
I think sex work's just another kind of work, you know?
But, you know, sometimes there's exploitation, obviously.
That's not great.
But, you know, just no judgement if you did.
No, no, no.
Cool.
Anyone have any other questions for Kithisee?
I have a question for the four of you,
which is just that you were all also given mules to ride
and Simon, you were even allowed to touch yours.
As opposed to hovering above it.
So what's the riding order, just so I'm aware of?
Well, who's got the most hit points now?
I think Kivisi will probably be leading the way, I would think.
Yeah, I do have the most hit points, whatever that means.
One of you is going to have to drive the wagon as well.
Bags.
All right.
Well, I guess we'll go wagon in the middle to protect it.
Yep.
And then Filge and I together at the back.
Excellent.
All right.
In that case, leading the way, Kitheseed,
will you just make me a little perception check?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, not good.
Nine.
Nine?
All right.
Excellent.
Thank you very much.
You are having a lovely old time.
You guys stop for a morning snack and have a little bit of...
Quinoa, good.
And in the afternoon you make your way forward.
And indeed you're having such a wonderful time
that you fail to notice shapes in the outskirts of the forest around the...
Sorry, just pizza shapes, barbecue shapes?
Any type.
Again, snacks appropriate to a game of this type.
Cheetos.
You're suddenly
attacked by a giant triangle.
Smartass.
And it is
therefore, all of you are caught by
surprise when suddenly an arrow
appears
through the trees and lands in front of your horse, making it shy slightly.
Alarm! Alarm!
A voice from the forest calls out.
Give me back me bloody arrow!
That was meant to bloody kill you, wasn't it?
Well, well, well.
Looks like we have something you want.
And... Well, well, well, looks like we have something you want. And you have something we want, which is to not kill us, please.
Now, if I give you this arrow back, are you going to just shoot it at us again?
Now, if I give you this arrow back, are you going to just shoot it at us again?
While you were talking, four hobgoblins have managed to appear out of the woods on either side of the road.
One of them looks slightly put out, holding a bow. Two of them have wicked curved scimitars, and one of them has a leash with a snarling angry wolf-like
dog.
I'm a murderer.
I think to myself.
Now,
Kithisi,
just in the frack-ar.
In the six seconds we have to speak.
Hey, are you allowed to defend yourself if you're attacked?
Fuck yes. Okay, cool.
I just wanted to check you weren't going to wuss out on us.
Right! Apparently swearing
isn't off the...
I will take my arrow back,
but I will also take all
of your money.
And your wagon. And your
wheels of your wagon.
And one of each of
your shoes.
Just, not for me, just because I'll think about it later and I'll be like, well, that'd be annoying, wouldn't it?
Because you'll only have one shoe.
And maybe, maybe, two of you will have the same size feet
and that might work.
But most of you will just be like, oh, I'll be bloody one foot.
So that will have her all, I'll be bloody one foot. So that will I have a role.
I'll unleash me friends and me warg on you.
Listen, sir, you may not be aware of this
but everything you've offered to do just then is clearly against the law.
I'm KG Powerbutt and paladin of Amun-Atul, may his light be upon you.
And look, perhaps you'd like to rethink what you've just said
and, you know, carry on with your day.
Let us carry on with ours.
Yeah, we're really encouraging you to think about your choices you're making.
And he does a really big pantomime.
He's like, well, well, well, boys, let me have a think.
And he poses like the figure.
But that's a famous statue in this world too.
Was Rodin also a famous sculptor in this?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, well, well.
Let me have a think.
Oh, that's the thinker.
I've seen that statue before.
Meanwhile, the other two hobgoblins that are slightly less theatrical
have by now sheathed their scimitars and notched their own bows.
And they're both pointing at Kithisee.
One of them repeats,
you heard the man, drop your gold,
leave everything and walk away.
Alright, now do all of these goblins only have one arrow each?
Is that how this is working?
You can only assume so far.
You haven't seen any more arrows, but you also haven't
seen their backs.
Alright, what about I pick up the arrow
that we have
and I hold it against the neck of the dog?
They are...
And I say...
Just so you're aware, they're about 60 feet away from you
on either side of the road.
You guys are trapped in the middle because they've got the drop on you.
Right, okay, and what you're doing right now is holding an arrow to my neck,
so maybe just put that away.
I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
She'll do it! She's crazy! She's crazy!
All right, let's just roll for initiative, shall we?
I feel like we're being attacked.
Rolling for initiative.
Shall we roll for initiative?
All right.
The Dragon Friends are Alex Lee, Michael Hing, and Simon Greiner
in a DM by Dave Harmon with NPC voices by Ben Jenkins.
Shakira Khan designs our website. The podcast
is mixed and edited by Ben and
recorded live at Giant Dwarf Theatre with music
and live accompaniment by Benny Davis.
Our story's just beginning
Our adventure never ends
The saga of the heroes
that they call the Dragon Friends