Dragon Friends - #1.08. It True, Me Your Nightmare with Tom Walker & The Bear Pack
Episode Date: November 4, 2015After being reunited with Philge and her half brother Dilge, The Dragon Friends are hired as the security detail for Janos Meer during an important meeting with a rival. Hosted on Acast. See acast.co...m/privacy for more information.
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As glory's just beginning, our adventure never ends.
The saga of the heroes that they call the Dragon Friends.
You make your way down into the sewers.
A familiar journey, Bobby, that you have made many times before.
To the court of the Beggar King, one of the most established crime lords
in Waterdeep and head of the shadowy thieves
guild.
Janos, of course, sent you on a mission with his off-sider, Clodric, to rob a house of
artifice and to bring back an amulet from that house.
Since then, you have gone shopping, enjoyed a coffee, had an argument with a group of uptown hobgoblins
And at last you were back to repay your debts
When you arrive at the court
You can see that Janos has not enjoyed waiting for you
And indeed is already in a foul mood
Well, well, well
If it isn't Bobby's shit debts
Come to pay me back me money, Bobby foul mood. Well, well, well. If it isn't Bobby Shitdex.
Come to pay me back me money, Bobby.
I think we're square, oh, beggar king,
in terms of our debts,
money-wise, but I
come bearing good news and the amulet
you requested. Yeah, the amulet I
requested for last night. It's almost
one of the clock right now.
I could have been doing a shit all morning
But I've been waiting here for you. I'm clogged up Bobby. I'm bloody angry
I'm super sorry, but feel free to release your bowels right now
Shut it Bobby
Your apologies your your bloody...
I don't want them.
I want bloody results.
And an amulet.
I want amulet, and then I'm going to get some results.
I hand him the amulet.
You hand him the amulet.
All right, so Janos looks at the amulet,
sniffs it once, because for some reason
that's something that he does.
Cardamon.
And passes it to an off-sider
who ferrets it away into the labyrinthine building behind
him, underground building, that is there, is a sentence I just said.
Great, says Janos, and all we have to do is get Clodric to, hang on, where's Clodric?
Yeah, I don't know, he just left.
Clodrick to hang on. Where's Clodrick? Yeah, I don't know. He just left. Clodrick left?
Yeah.
We had to, like, hot foot it pretty fast out of there.
And then it turned around, he wasn't there anymore.
Clodrick, punctual Clodrick.
Clodrick, never late Clodrick.
Clodrick, always around Clodrick.
Left at the best point of time.
You know what, actually?
He spied a chubby little halfling,
and I believe he followed him down an alleyway.
So who knows?
Knowing his predilections,
he could be there for a good half day still.
Well, I'll have one of my boys look into it.
Hang on, no, hang on.
Make a deception check for that.
But that's pretty reasonable because he does love...
We'll call it 15.
Yeah, but we cut all that
out of the podcast. Yeah, you edited out all of that
for the podcast. Yeah, no one knows about all that
weird stuff. Everyone thinks that was your joke.
Yeah, that's why that was that stunned
silence.
Cool.
Just to be clear for anybody who
happens to be here today,
they are yeah
sorry Dave you know what it doesn't really matter this is all nonsense
what did you get five of five he's not buying it Clodrick Clodrick famous lover of tall beeper Clodrick
Clodrick famous lover of giants
Clodrick
Where is he Bobby
Where is he Bobby shit lies
You're gonna have to come clean
He's killed by a robot
I don't know what a robot is
Oh uh
A glitter man like
Killed him A glitter man like, killed him.
A glitter man killed him.
Yeah.
Well, well, well, well.
Janos, or did he have more?
No, no, but he's gone.
Janos is, if he was irritated before,
he is positively irate now. However, he is a reasonable man and he's willing to give you one last chance to redeem yourselves.
Probably because of the fact that Clodrick was a bit of a creep anyway.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know why you're so upset about Clodrick.
I mean, granted he was one of your workers, but he was...
He owed me a nude painting.
Oh, I can do a nude painting for you.
Well, that is nice of you to offer.
Hey, it would be my pleasure.
Me happy to pose.
But I have another thing that I need to... I start taking off my clothes.
Sister, no!
I had Clodrick on a job for me.
A very important job.
And you're going to have to fill in for him now, Bobby Late Dicks.
Most of his nicknames for you just seem to be changing your surname.
It's pronounced pancakes.
I ate pancakes for breakfast, Bobby.
Janos goes on to explain that he is in the middle of a turf war with a...
You're quite all right, Simon?
Someone said, after I eat pancakes for breakfast,
Simon will be out of commission for a few hours.
Because it's a breakfast food.
Oh, mercy.
Janice explains that he is in the middle of a turf war with another crime lord, this time a dwarf who works out of the ship line, which you obviously know,
and a member of an illegal guild called the Shipwrights.
He is meeting with this crime lord, who is a man named Albrecht Rumsfeld, that night.
That could be a fantasy name.
Something funny pancakes.
No.
Nothing, sir.
And he is going to need your help.
In fact, you're going to need to be his help
because this is maybe one of the only ways
in which you can keep your heads.
The whole place is likely to be trapped.
I need someone to go scope it out for me.
I don't want to be walking into a bloody trap. I walked into a trap once, got me eyes cut out. Then what happened? Magic
spell brought him back. Alright, but I ain't never walking into a trap again. You're going
to go there, you're going to scope the place out. Watch over things.
And to make sure that you don't skip town, he's not letting you out of his sight until then.
So you spend the rest of the afternoon
confined to the court of the Beggar King.
You have access to, you know,
the sort of surrounds of where he lives,
but he's not letting you outside.
You can go anywhere you want in my house.
What's that?
You can go anywhere you want in here.
Oh, cool. You seem to have an interest in art.
Do you have a collection of art?
Yeah, what's it to you, Bobby?
Well, I'm a painter myself,
and so I'd love to see it
if you could show us around your collection.
Well, no one's ever...
Yeah, you're all right.
He takes you down a sewer, let's call it what it is um where he has hung various
paintings um laid out some sculptures from local sculptors that he admires i'm very keen on
provenance i try and only acquire art from within 100 k's of water deep i'm very committed to the
art scene i said we need an art skill. But they
said no. So, you know, this is a painting of a dragon. Yeah, with a big dick.
Yeah.
Oh, that one was...
Ooh, dick follow you round room.
A lot of the...
That how you tell it good dragon dick painting.
That how you tell it good dragon dick painting.
Bobby, as an appreciator of art,
you find most of this stuff to be pretty obvious,
tacky and not very good,
but he's obviously very proud of his collection.
And this is me pride and joy.
A white painting with a picture of a little kid on a bridge flying a kite. Look at it. It's just so peaceful, so serene. It makes me think, you know what, maybe I
shouldn't string people up in the sewers, let them drown and shit. Maybe I shouldn't string people up in the sewers, let them drown and shit. Maybe I shouldn't cut people's faces so they don't cheat me on bloody cards.
When I look at this painting I think I could be anything.
I could even be a baker.
It entirely white canvas.
No one was asking you to... This is bloody art. You see what you want?
Get out of me gallery. Get out.
Especially you sloppy hard jakes.
I'm sorry for my friend, but it's truly a beautiful collection.
You really think so?
I do, with all my heart.
Wow.
Thanks, Bobby.
Pfft. Pancakes?
And I think we can go ahead and say that you have improved your reputation with the Thieves' Guild. Congratulations.
That night, you are escorted by some of the enforcers of some of the Beggar King's men back to the ship line to a sort of open area of the docks where a deal might go down, where
there's not too many places to hide, where everything's a bit out in the open.
There are two large warehouses on either side of what is really essentially a small courtyard, alleyways leading
from both sides into it, and there are boxes and crates that have been taken by stevedores
off ships and put on the docks that are waiting to be ferreted away into the city. The sun is already setting and one of the Beggar King's off-siders, a
man called Byron, tells you that they are expecting Rumsfeld in about 30 minutes.
In about 30 minutes, this guy called Rumsfeld's going to come. Byron is a terrifyingly intimidating half-orc berserker
with a scar splitting his face in half.
So if you just wait here,
it should be about 30 or so,
if that's okay with you guys.
Do you guys want some bread while you wait?
Yeah, I'll have some.
Yeah.
Okay.
We want bread.
Well, there's some sourdough there, some rye, some pumpernickel,
we've got some olive oil, do you want to bring some balsamic as well?
Did me ever tell you about me relationship with bread?
Byron lays out the plan very quickly before you can continue
and explains that he now has to
leave the courtyard and in fact will be returning with four other lieutenants of the beggar king
as part of their delegation. They will be meeting at the seventh bell with Rumsfeld in order to
negotiate a truce for the two have been in a
turf war. Now, do you remember what bell
I said? Do you remember what bell? Seventh bell. That's correct,
yeah. And whereabouts
are they meeting?
The environs, is it an open
space? As I said, it's a courtyard.
There's an alleyway which you've come down.
There's another alleyway coming the other way.
And we're just being the muscle for
Janos. You're hiding. You're here to case out the area and to be added protection.
It was made very clear that neither of them were bringing any type of muscle.
No one is to be armed.
You're there secretly to make sure that nothing happens.
Okay, I have a plan.
I take out my rod, is it called a stationary rod?
An immovable rod.
An immovable rod. Really thought you were going to go with the invisibility dust, but
go for it.
No, I'll say...
No, no, your plan's better.
What I will do is... We hide behind a rod!
No, no, no.
I will get Filch
to... I will hold the rod,
I'll have her throw me up in the air,
and I will
press the button until I'm hovering her throw me up in the air, and I will press the button,
and so I'm hovering over the top at a great distance.
And then Filge and Dilge will take the invisibility powder
and have that to cloak them.
All right, that's excellent.
How will you get down?
I'll press the button and I'll, like, oh, you fall!
All right, excellent.
Well, why don't you just make for me...
We'll just say that throwing a halfling is easy for an orc,
so we'll say it's DC 10.
But tell me how many points you beat DC 10 by
in a strength check, a straight strength check.
Right before rolling?
Can we help?
This is an opportunity for us to kind of bond.
Can I help?
You can help, so you can roll two dice filled
and tell me the highest and add four to it. The highest is eight, so you can roll two dice, Filge, and tell me the highest, and add four to it.
The highest is eight, so it's twelve.
Oh, okay, that's not a great throw.
So they throw you once, and you make it about six feet up in the air.
We just not have same chemistry as old times.
And you press the button, so the system works.
You happy to just...
No, I'll say, hey guys, let's try this again.
I'll, uh, Dilj, if you could catch me, and why system works. You're happy to just... No, I'll say, hey, guys, let's try this again. I'll...
Dilj, if you could catch me.
And why don't we try this one more time?
So we roll again.
I'm going to let you guys do it one more time.
However, you don't have very long before they arrive,
so this is pretty much what you get.
Yes, 18.
18.
All right, great.
So you get...
Just like old day when we'd throw halfling into a cliff together.
Huh?
You get about...
They imagine they clear you about 13 feet
up into the air. You're up in the shadows
next to one of the
two warehouses that are overlooking
this courtyard, and you are
basically clinging onto a
giant rod that is connected to nothing
hovering at that distance.
What about the rest of you? What are you guys going to do?
This makes Dilj feel alive.
This feels good.
Dilj been living pretty safely till now, Filj.
It time you live.
You live barbarian like me.
Literally like two minutes before they get here.
Okay.
We bond later.
Oh, wait.
Oh, you have the powder already.
Oh, I have the powder.
Okay.
Ready?
I don't know.
I can't read instructions. Oh, sister. the powder. Okay. Ready? I don't know. I can't read instructions.
Oh, sister. Let
Wizard Dilge do this.
And I'm going to roll to comprehend how I use the
powder. Alright. Okay. It's very
easy because you're a wizard. It's a
four.
You think
you eat it. Yep.
Ah, sister.
It's simple. Like all powders, this best eaten.
Please.
We shove it in our mouths.
Yep.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
We invisible now.
Can you just very quickly make for me, again,
an easy insight check field
to realise that you're not invisible.
I rolled another four!
I rolled another four!
Ah, I got a 19.
Okay, Filge, you think something's wrong
and you try to convince Dilj
that he has used the powder wrong.
However, Dilj, you double down that this is correct
and that you can only see each other
because you're both invisible.
Filge, me not lie to you. Me never lie to you. We invisible. But me see own hands.
Yes, you see own hands. Me see you hands. Me see you because we blood.
Oh.
So you both just freeze in the middle of the courtyard? Is that what you're gonna do?
Yeah. What are you gonna do you're going to do? Yeah.
What are you going to do?
What would you do?
Bilge is really pumped up.
He thinks he's nailed it with his eating the powder thing.
So we could just stand in the middle of the courtyard.
Yeah, we make no effort to hide and stand in clear sight.
And we're like super casual because we're so confident.
Guys, I can still see you guys.
Oh, you invisible too.
Incredible. I just think it'd be best just for the two guys here, to see you guys. Oh, you invisible too! Incredible!
I just think it'd be best
just for the two guys here to
hide behind that wall
of the courtyard.
I don't know if you guys want to.
I'm trying to...
Sure.
If it make you feel better.
If it make you feel better for dum-dum
we go hide behind wall.
Alright, you guys make self-checks. You're both so cocky that this is unnecessary.
I'm going to make them at disadvantage. So both of you roll two dice and tell me the lowest.
Both roll two?
And then tell me the lowest and check it against your stealth.
And because it's nice, this is moderate, so 15.
I rolled a three and a one.
I rolled a 20 and a four. I rolled a 20 and a four.
You rolled a 20, congratulations, natural 20.
All right.
I'm yet to roll out of the single digits.
At Comic-Con they clapped us when we got a 20.
Yeah, thanks.
If only every day were Comic-Con.
The two of you slip behind boxes and even as you do,
Byron races back and signals.
And soon he is joined by two other terribly intimidating
but strangely falsetto-voiced henchmen and Janos.
Janos, of course, you recognise, but far more interesting to you
is the other alleyway where you see not humans but dwarves,
tough stevedore dwarves coming down the alley towards you. In front of them is a dwarf with a fine, beautiful black beard
and an ostentatious hat, a sort of floppy kind of...
Is that a Saturday hat?
Probably got from a hat shop!
It's like a kind of Venetian hat, if you knew in the magical world of Faerun what Venetian was.
It's a sort of floppy hat and very expensive tailored
leather clothes. This is a figure that you assume must be the head of the
shipwrights Albrecht Rumsfeld who even now calls out to Janus.
Well, well, well.
Well, well, well.
Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Well, well, well.
Well, well, well.
This continues for some time.
All right then, Albert.
Hello there, Janice.
Or should I call you
Fuck Goblin?
You've some nerve there, Albert,
coming into this alley,
calling me a fuck goblin,
when you well know
that my mother was killed by a fuck goblin. I don't want to have to put up with your shit today
Albert. I came here to talk terms. None of me boys have got weapons. None of yours have
either right? I'm a man of me word am I not? Or a dwarf of my dwarf?
Yeah, it checks out, I guess.
Alright,
so we talking this?
While they begin to talk terms, can the three of you
make a perception check for me
at DC 15?
That is a
two.
Is that a four,
a four, and a two? So far, if you count the disadvantage dice I rolled, it's four, three, four, two. Is that a four, a four, and a two? So far,
if you count the disadvantage dice I rolled,
it's four, three, four, two.
What an asset.
I got
six. Yep. And I got
one.
Alright.
Do I get a luck thing?
Whenever you roll a one, you get to roll again.
Sweet balls. Twenty! Hooray! That is Do I get it? I've got a luck thing. So if I do it whenever you roll the one you get to roll again
That is that is some turnaround luck All right, you said you do nasty build and dill
The two the two of you just nailing this invisible hiding behind a box
Thing just enjoying yourself so much and really getting into the one-upmanship of the fight that you are completely just enthralled you've forgotten the Bobby's above you and
You're just having great fun watching sort of you know, a true crime
Thriller play out in front of you me not believe this this just like in novel me read one time
What novel me try to make time to read it?
mmm
It's why bring up if can't remember name of novel?
I remember name of novel, it's just you put me on spot
What last novel you read?
Why are you, why are you always like this?
Why are you so good for a little while?
Then we argue
Bobby, however, you
Classic Viljan Bilj
Not so easily impressed by Half-Orc Book Club.
Notice, instead, you suddenly see a movement in a window in the warehouse opposite you
and a glint of moonlight on silver.
And you realize in that instance that what you see is a figure, a humanoid figure, with a crossbow,
even now, sighting the distance towards Janice.
I draw my short bow.
Okay, you are hanging.
Oh, no, I'm sitting on it like a trapeze swing.
Like a cat.
Yeah, like a trapeze swing.
I'm sitting on it.
It's like a rod, right?
I'm a long guy.
Yeah.
So I draw my bow, and is it glass? Is it open. It's like a rod, right? I'm a long guy. Yeah. So I draw my bow and I...
Is it glass?
Is it open?
Is it...
It's not glass.
I don't think glass exists.
It's like open.
You're fine.
Oh yeah.
I shoot that motherfucker.
All right.
Excellent.
Well then, go ahead and this is a sneak attack.
You get to add your bonus dice.
Eleven plus...
Something? Anyway, me reading sisterhood of
traveling pantaloons wow me hear that good me reading the bone sundials 11 plus 4 is that right
or plus 5 isn't it is plus 5 your attack? Oh. We did this three days ago.
Which one's attack?
I'm going to, it's plus five.
I'm going to throw you a bone.
All right, you, yeah, so that is enough.
And then d6 plus three.
2d6 plus three.
Oh, 2d6 plus three, okay.
We've been doing this for months.
So if you're all those two.
Okay.
Oh, six plus three.
11 points of damage.
Suddenly, everybody spins up as they
hear the unmistakable sound of an arrow flying
through the air.
Albrecht, you look around just in time
to see a halfling perched probably against a wall,
firing an arrow at where you know you have one
of your own assassins
stationed, and the arrow hits. You also see an arrow fly above your head and hit somebody
that you didn't even notice was there. The two of you really feel like you're getting
to grips with this book conversation, and you're both flat-footed.
I yell, Janos, it's a trap! I thought we said no assassins.
I thought you said no traps! They both draw their swords. Yeah
This the surprise round is over so Bobby you're next
so I
Yelled out. I draw my bow and and you've already've already drawn your bow. Okay, I knock an arrow and have it pointed at Rumsfeld.
And I'm like, and I yell to Janos,
I've got you covered, Albrecht Rumsfeld.
One foul move and I'll pierce your heart
with this true arrow straight into your guts.
Did you say pal move? Thanks, pal.
Are you going to delay your action until he
does something, or are you... Back
away! Back away!
Go back down your alley with your men,
or you will cop it.
Great, so that is a delayed action, which means that
you can decide, depending on what he does later
or not, to fire that arrow.
Freezer's not even here,
so we go up to
Rumsfeld, you're next.
I look directly up to Rumsfeld, you're next.
I look directly up at him and say, cop what, cop what?
Yours.
And I say back, this flinty arrow in your eye,
step off Rumsfeld, Take your men and retreat.
Okay we're gonna call this an intimidation check to see... yes. Wow okay. Intimidation checks!
You are a tiny halfling. He is the famed terror of the ship line. So this is a hard check. DC 20.
However you are fucking flying against a wall and he didn't know you were there so you have advantage
So to rock to dice you need to be 20 you add your charisma modifier
14 plus
14 plus 3 3 17 17 not enough rumsfeld laughs in your face
Three. Three.
Seventeen.
Seventeen.
Not enough.
Rumsfeld laughs in your face.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Wait, Filch!
We stopped talking about book clubs!
Something funny happening!
Rumsfeld, it's your action.
You could...
You have...
Now, you have a scimitar,
you have a bandolier of throwing knives,
you also know that you have assassins in the window.
I throw all my weapons down and I say,
Come fight me like a man.
And I yell back,
don't you dare call me a man.
I am Halfling!
And I fire the arrow at him.
Yep.
That's a six.
You scream, barrelling your chest,
and you fire an arrow which lands not even close.
Like, if anything, you almost hit Janice.
I'm sorry!
Janice, it's your action.
Oh, enough of this!
I'm going to stab Albright.
Right, you go for a stab, attack.
It is a 15, plus my bonuses.
Which is plus 5 which means that that hits.
So you take damage, you take 58 plus 2.
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I think this what I'm supposed to do!
No one really explained to me!
I'm just happy to be out of house!
You don't need to roll dice for magic missile. Instead it fires three darts with these little triangle dice.
So... Yeah, that's right.
So roll those three dice and add three.
Four, two, and two.
Okay, so eight plus three is 11 points of damage.
Again, Albrecht, you are bombarded by little missiles,
as you see, running out naked for some reason.
Me invisible.
Where me coming from?
Missiles from air?
It drew me your nightmare.
Before you have time to even process this,
magical darts are flying from his hands,
bombarding you as you take a serious hit.
You are bloodied and now starting to look in serious damage. The next up is Filge.
I run over to him on the ground and I put my foot on his neck.
He's not on the ground.
What?
I kick him over and then I put my foot on his neck.
You're going to bull rush him. Great. Make an attack.
Alright, I got 15.
15 plus 5. This is a bull rush.
This is to tackle him to the ground.
That is enough.
So you find the dwarf.
You charge, and suddenly another presumably naked, yep, orc,
charges out from behind the boxes and crashes into you in a tackle,
slamming you onto the ground.
You go prone.
And next up is the assassin,
who has finally dealt with the fact
that the crossbow bolt is in,
and takes careful aim and hits for...
Did I not hit him?
You did, but you didn't kill him.
Five, you take a quill suddenly to the neck.
Oh, my bloody neck!
Five damage, and you start immediately feeling like your joints are locking up.
Oh, not me bloody arms.
Next up is again, now it's Bobby's turn.
Um, I yell out, catch me! And I um, leap from above, I press the button and release and land in the arms of Filch.
Okay, Filch is crash tackling someone to the ground.
You are now falling 18 feet from a rod yelling, catch me.
That's fine.
So can I roll, I guess I roll a perception check to notice him
and then a strength check to catch him?
You can.
Okay.
All right, so the perception is easy
because he's just shouted.
It's an eight?
Yes, you did.
Congratulations, Dilchis.
Pass the dice roll.
And it's a dexterity check to catch him.
Okay.
I roll a two.
All right.
Four.
He got four.
Okay, he misses you,
and for the first ten feet, a fine, and for the first ten feet a fine and for the second ten feet you take...
I... as I almost hit the ground I press the button again and stall myself.
And then...
Make a dexterity check.
Ten.
Five plus three dexterity.
Eight.
You press the button just as you hit the ground and you take four hit points of damage.
So that was a very good idea.
Less points for Dilj,
who forgot that he has the Featherfall spell,
but what are you going to do?
Me in heat of moment.
Me invisible.
Can I keep doing something?
Yes, you can.
We'll call that a rolling...
So you're near them?
A rolling go.
I grab one of the healing potions
and pass it to Janos so that he's well enough to get
out of here as best he can.
So you're just passing him an up and go?
No, it's a healing potion.
Like in the middle of combat.
This guy has my nuts in a vice at the moment and the best that I can get him out of here is our best ticket of...
OK, you throw a healing potion to Janos.
Janos tries to swing, but his arms are both paralysed.
The potion just sort of smacks him in the chest.
Bobby Sweetcakes, you've bloody done it again!
Fortunately, the liquid from the potion drips into the hole in his chest
that it has hit him just above.
You have to drink healing potions.
They're potions.
Simon's just been rubbing Panadol on his chest the whole time.
Quickly, Rumsfeld.
You are now staggered, as I said, bleeding and in serious pain.
I spit blood out of my mouth.
I remain locked with my eyes against Pancake.
You are pinned to the ground by an angry naked orc.
Yeah, that's fine.
I don't care.
Locked eyes with Mr. Pancake.
And I still say, fight me like a man.
Okay.
Next up is Janos.
I'm going to roll a dexterity check to see if I can grasp this potion that's falling down my body.
Why don't you first of all make a constitution check to see if you can overcome the poison.
Alright, let's do that.
It is a two.
So you are still, you are stiffening and stiffening as you go.
So yes, a dexterity is hard to grab a potion.
It is a four.
Alright, you sm- the potion smashes, wasted.
Oh, oh shit!
And you stagger back out of the, as far out of the way.
You start staggering, slowing down as you go,
as you try and make your way to your main.
I'll get you for this, Albrecht, you shit.
Next up is the assassin who is already knocking
another arrow into the crossbow,
firing it at Janos and rolls a one.
So the string breaks probably and you have a precious
amount of time left.
Bobby, it's your turn.
I fire an arrow at the assassin.
That's 19 plus five.
Oh sorry, it's not Bobby, I forgot.
Oh, ballsack.
Dilj.
Was that the best roll you've done?
Pretty much.
All right, yeah Dilj.
Dilj.
I notice the, Dilj notices thej. Uh, I notice the...
Dilj notices the, uh, the chink of light in the window that is the assassin.
Totally.
Yeah, and I go,
It worked before!
And I magic missile it.
Yeah, this is your last spell slot, so go ahead, roll those dice one more time.
This all Dilj have?
And...
Two, one, one.
Two, one, one.
Alright, that's not a lot.
Plus, uh... Plus one. And 2-1-1. All right, that's not a lot. You do six damage, so the assassin feels it,
but is not at all intimidated.
Except fortunately, his string bow has snapped, apparently.
In fact, he's more put out by the crossbow, let's be brutally honest.
Me, the invisible terror that dare not speak it name.
Phil!
Me say, me the voice from nowhere me God me tell you
call off your men and then I like once again you are now this we will call this
a flat intimidation check you because although you know everything that's been
going on you are being held down by an angry, sweaty, naked half-orc
who thinks that they're invisible.
So there's a lot to be scared of here.
So what you have to do for me is just make,
this is a moderate, no, this is an intimidation check.
Yeah, so Alex, and then you can add your charisma to it.
All right, so I have.
Oh, no, you can add your strength because you're an orc.
20.
Another 20, alright?
If anybody doesn't believe these 20s are happening,
just come up and have a little look.
Yeah, that's what this needs.
Just line up in an orderly fashion, one by one.
It all makes this better.
Step right up, step right up. I'm excited.
See the natural 20 in its little box.
Everyone come up and have a bloody squiz at this dice.
Because I'll tell you, it's nothing you can make at home.
Very well.
James.
Billy.
Tony.
Chris.
Tony 2.
Tony Junior.
Tony Senior.
Mark. Matheson, Mary, Barnard, Barnadette, Brutus, Caesar, Lifton, T, Fallback, Fallback.
An impossible number of dwarves.
It didn't seem to do anything during that fight help their wounded boss back as he gets to the safety of the alleyway
while Byron and Janice's men dive forward and help their distressed leader.
As Albrecht is in the safety of the alley, he turns and looks at the three of you, particularly you, Bobby, points his finger at you and says...
He's not who he says he is.
Oh, yeah? Then who is he?
Come here and fight like a man.
Come here and fight like a man.
Let's go, boys.
Yeah!
Let's go.
I thought so.
Yeah, you taught that one, boss.
And in years to come, the men that were present at this exchange
of what would become known as the ship line betrayal
and the start of the great dock wars of Waterdeep
would agree that this was a confusing
and somewhat anticlimactic way for the battle to end. Thank you very much, that's Dragon Friends.
The Dragon Friends are Alex Lee, Michael Hing and Simon Greiner in a DM by Dave Harmon with
NPC voices by Ben Jenkins. Shakira Khan designs our website. The podcast is mixed and edited by Ben
and recorded live at Giant Dwarf Theatre
with music and live accompaniment by Benny Davis.