Dragon Friends - DF2 #1.20. Not Existing Means Dying

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

Celestia has Risen. The unmaking has begun, it has all lead to this. The Heroes of Yearth have one last chance to use all they've learnt and call upon all the adventures they've had in one last gambit to put an end to Celestia once and for all. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When a goddess returns from years of imprisonment, promising ruin for all The rich and the poor all pray, please don't unmake us Who will protect us from what is in store? The heroes of yore, Brave Heroes of Yarn Destiny be done, These four freaks will become The Heroes of Yarn Celestia is risen! Crinkling and crackling with eldritch energy suspended in the air above the ancient prison the void expanding from her and consuming all

that it touches and as the gathered crowd noticed things starting to pop out of existence around them, they began to panic and a voice cries out, hang on, not existing means dying! And panic spreads through the crowd. On stage, Dinner Munchabout stands over the body of lexicon the magnificent his erstwhile employer lexicon coughs up blood i was wrong about you dinner i know let me let me finish even in this moment there's like a spotlight on Lexicon. He is the star of the show. This is my big, my final death scene. Stronger than I thought.

To defeat Celestia, one season must follow the next. Only the heart can pierce the heart. And as he says that, a black sort of whip of static comes and pierces him through his eye and to the back of his brain. Enough of that, I promise him he could be my little fuckboy in the next life if he lied to everyone. Said Celestia

but it appears he can't even stop you miscreants so watch as mama time kills every i've i've rebranded as mama time mama time now it's not as good no Celestia actually sounds better Celestia is very cool also you've given me a crisis by saying he's your fuckboy in the next life, because I just feel like I don't care about this now. Wha- it's- well he's not anymore, he's dead. I'll just do another one. Do another what? I'll just come back to the next life. No, but they won't be because of the-

No, I'm going to boil you up and then create- You're not going to- You should've said- You should've said. You said what? What is your name? Who are you? You mean nothing to me. I'm dinner. Okay.

Excuse me, is there an opening now for a fuckboy? And her big static eye looks over to Michael Bubbly who's bleeding out and goes, No, that position's been filled. And as she says that, four tendrils of dark energy flick out towards each of you. Please each make a strength saving throw as the tendril wraps around your weapon and attempts to wrest it from your grasp. I see you've collected the weapons, but no good if you can't wield them.

Strength saving. Strength saving. I rolled a 14 plus 6, I got 20. 20? You managed to hang on to the Axe of the Sands. Sunbelt Gongbong, a Charyon. 13. What? 13.

13! Flip the Heart of the Ironwood. Leaves your grass. A charion. 13. What? 13. 13. Flip the heart of the ironwood. Leaves your grasp. Dinner. I don't remember. You don't remember what you rolled? I got a 7. What's going on with your face?

I got a 7. Oh. Wait, you have negative one stre- oh you do. Yeah I do. You're dancing- It's like when you push it into the hands of the- Don't wanna. You're dancing. You're like pushing it into the hands of the... Yeah. Don't wanna.

The dancing pole flips out of your fingers, never to be danced on again. Can it dance on me for a second? Yeah. It goes on, it spins around you. It does a really good move and it does sexy face. What? Uh, Polly Waddle. That's how it's done.

Polly Waddle, what did you get? Oh look, I got a 12 but who cares? So the the blades of grass flick out of your hands and dangle high above me. Oh I fly up again. While you're up there do you mind getting mine too? Yep yep yep, yep. Okay, but as that happens, her other tendrils, there are eight of them. All flick towards you.

Charyon, you take six points of damage. Dina, five. Polly, four. And ooh, that's a nat 20 on you. Sunbelt Gongbonger, you take eight points of damage. Polly Waddle, it is your turn. She's got our weapons. She's got my weapons. Except for Sunbelt Gongbongers, yes.

Well, I'm going to try to taunt. You're gonna try and taunt an angry god? Yeah, at the moment she's sort of half paying attention to you, but the kind of whips are kind of like doing their own thing. She's looking out onto the horizon. Beams of her aura are going out, almost like they're hitting the walls of what you can see reality and you can see things are starting to crack.

It's like the horizon is slowly coming in from the land you can see. You know, I imagine this is a pretty big moment for you, Celestia. Absolutely huge. This is my new project. Big project. You know, the problem with projects is that they, uh... You know, once they're finished, doesn't matter how well they went, they come to an end. I'm just wondering, I mean, you've un- you- after you unmaked the world, what's next for Celestia?

I mean, I've sensed a bit of panic there, mummertime. Ooh, that sounds like panicking to me. It's a reasonable rebrand. I think it's relevant We all think it's cringe what the fuck it's cringe yeah the rebrands cringe. I think it's fresh It's not fresh. I don't think it's rich everyone here hates it. Yeah, do I roll for that? Look at the kids. Yeah, absolutely Here we go What's the DC? 12 Wisdom saving throws 12 Absolutely, here we go. Ooh, what's the DC? 12.

Wisdom saving throw is 12. You little bitch! Ha ha! What's next for the great Momma time? That's all I'm wondering. You unmake us, who's gonna watch you? Who's gonna be there for the rebrand Momma time? Okay, so this goddess now shifts all of her, like, unanimous, just like, destructive power on you and says, I'm gonna make you watch you boil your own bones, you little fucking trance.

You're obsessed with boiling! Get something new, you old bitch! I'm a creative! I've got a clock! I'm doing two things at once, can't you see? Boil this! Boil that! I'm destroying the environment and talking to you at the same time. It's cringe, I'm sorry. It's something fresh, you've got a disadvantage on attack rolls. Sorry, just about meant sorry. And two of her tangles flick out and miss you, Sunbelt Gongbonger, it is your turn. I am going to make a reckless attack at Mama Times. Mama Spine!

What do you use? I'm using my axe, my sense of the time. As you look down at your axe, you realize, almost like reverberating with the same static energy that is coming out of Celestia, it starts to shift. The sands move around, reacting to her, and becomes an even bigger, like, warhammer. This huge destructive thing.

You're getting an extra plus one now, it's a plus three. Fuck yeah, alright, so I'm doing a reckless attack. What's her armor class? 17. That fucking hits, 14 plus 6 is 20. So you take 1d12 plus 6 damage. Sucks to be you mother time That is 10 damage. Okay, you

Like a yeah 10,000 hit points. We're gonna be here for a time. Everybody's settled in order another drink So as you strike her the vibration of the sands It seems like the granules get in between her darkness and you see in the middle of her chest a void opens up and there is a shining purple heart at her core charion valeriant it is your turn I'm gonna cast command so she okay save So she is the save on wisdom 12. Okay. She goes...what does she pass? What? I can't hear you over your weak ass attempt to talk to me. You're not a 10, you're a 2. Fuck off. Uh, dinner munch about it's your turn. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, I've got so much magic. Okay. I don't know what to do with it.

Well I'd say dream to believe Demi, that's what I always think. Dream to believe. You know what I think? The only thing I know how to do is shoot my gun. Well by God Demi, shoot your little gun. I'm gonna shoot my gun. Shoot your little gun. I'm getting really really upset about the insult

that you've said about my friend. Oh, absolutely. Okay? You can hear anything that you wanna listen to, Celestia, or should I say, you cunt. Hey. This is, Celestia is a god listening to,

there's like an ant shouting at her, call her a cunt right now. Stop it! Don't! No. Celestia is a god listening to this like an aunt shouting at her car. You're a cunt right now Don't know I'm really really upset. I'm sweating. Yeah sweats mixing with my tears and I loaded into my gun And you just gotta tell me what to roll, baby Make an attack roll for me You shouldn't be afraid by my friend! Make an attack roll for me. Okay. I'll do 20.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Headshot! Ba-ba-ba-ba-bow! And the tear flies through the sky and in and towards Celestia's mouth and she opens it and her tongue comes out and she swallows it and goes, Ahhh! What? Oh, that was tasty. Was that your fucking sadness? comes out and she swallows it and goes Ahhhhh What? Oh that was tasty, was that your fucking sadness? Oh, you gonna cry again?

You gonna cry a weapon? Why don't you cry a blade? Me? Sorry, I'm just pitching ideas, I'm a creation god. Fuck off! Polly Waddle it is your turn! I put my hands on my hips. Yes.

And I say, hey. Why are you all trying to talk to me so much? I'm destroying your world. I tried to shoot you. Hey, I said hey. What's going on? It's a wonderful kind of day to be loved to each other I said hey don't worry I'll bring that in the new world Oh nice, remaking the universe bringing back I thought yeah I said I'm doing remakes

Well you gotta listen to your heart Listen to the thing Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street In her tendril above you out of reach, cause you're on the ground, she is grasping your blades of grass, of course. But leave them there, probably, you probably don't need them. You always saying how we're so puny.

Yes. Make it a fair fight. Fists only. Now would be a great time to remember the magic skill that is imbued into your blades of grass. Oh yeah! The one we're talking about at intervals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, I say, uh, how do we? You just think about it, you just dream it. I go, hey. I said, hey!

And I think about getting my blades of grass back. And, FWIP FWIP! They appear in your hands and Celestia looks fucking pissed off. The shit is going on! And the tentacles swarm towards you. What would you like to do? You have a moment. This is your last try.

I throw my blades of grass at the nearest tentacle. Okay, make an attack roll please. You need a 16 to hit. Yes, they both hit. Okay, so as your blade of grass hits the first tentacle, it freezes in place. And you can see that the dagger stays in place, but a new one appears in your hand. It's like it's pinned this tentacle up against something. And she screams in pain, like, and is quite surprised. Yes. And I'm also quite surprised.

Oh shit, you're using the god weapons against me? Whoa! That's fucking unbelievable! I'm also quite oh shit. You're using the god weapons against me. Whoa That's fucking unbelievable And seeing as you hit with the other tack the other one is also pinned into place But a new one appears in your hand, but there are six tentacles still Flipping and flipping yeah, and as she gets mad she kind of like takes a breath from screaming and As she gets mad she kind of like takes a breath from screaming and Breathes in and the part that was showing her purple heart seems to swarm back over with black static

Does that deal pierce? Is that does that deal piercing damage to her? Yeah, but it's more that she's you're pinning down her arms There's six of them still flipping around two of them miss you two of them hit you Sunbelt gong for a total of 14 damage Two of them miss you. Two of them hit you Sunbelt Gongbonger. Oh! For a total of 14 damage. Oh shit! 14 damage. Oh, one of them also hits you Charyon for six points of damage. Sunbelt Gongbonger, it is your turn.

Eden. Yes. Can we have a quick chat like you did with Demi? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're dead over there, buddy. I'm pretty close to. Okay. That's fun, isn't it?

Yeah, well... Isn't that fun? Isn't that fun, the game? Coming close to death? Because it's kind of a simulacrum of life where, you know, life's full of jeopardy and ends, but you know, with your character here, you can feel that jeopardy but with none of the danger. Isn't it good?

Isn't it fun? It feels like you're really aiming this at me and I wonder yeah if that's because inadvertently I have killed several of your characters throughout these campaigns I inadvertently inadvertently inadvertently would apply an accident often it was

often it was but not every time I don't even look honestly you don't even remember You don't care. Okay. We don't care about Boosie when you took his life. I put my life into that character Anyway, how many hit points you have left you little bitch I Have no I will have my revenge. I have nine hit points left. That's heaps, what are you crying about? Well you did 14 that time. Yeah, what's the problem man?

So when you said you wanted to be, when you were like, yeah I'll DM, has this all been a long thing to get back at Michael for killing Boushee that night? Look, the answer isn't not no. Because we had a meeting on Saturday, we were going to plan what we're doing for the next year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you said, I don't care, it's all happening this week at the show. Yeah. And it really felt like what you were talking about with this week at the show, what you meant was you were gearing this whole thing up to kill me. Look, feelings won't hold up in the court of law, Michael. You know, when it all comes down to it. Alright. I thought plus sides.

It's all inadmissible. I'm attacking another fucking tentacleacle. Okay, go for it. What's the arm class? That's a fucking that 20 look at that All right, okay, not 20 you fucking idiot All right, sorry, I'm used to talking to Dave sorry, yes All right, that's ten plus 6 is 16 damage to the thing Okay, 16. Plus then I'm gonna do a bonus action. Yes. And gore and rush at another one. Okay And try and pin another 10. Okay, you can go in rush. Take that you fling duchess dragons properly. So you okay make an attack roll That's 19 plus 6 that's 25. Okay, you hit Okay, you hit it, but it doesn't pin them down. It snakes away and keeps going.

I need to use the god weapons they gave us. But as your god weapon hits her, she shimmers again and her chest opens up, exposing her heart. Charyon Valerian, it is your turn. Charyon is going to cast Tasha's hideous laughter. Okay. So you have to roll wisdom. Okay. I think Demi has to do that laugh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Wait, what laugh? Do I have a laugh? No, but you could do a good one. No, no, you don't have a laugh. Okay, Simon. Okay, I'll do it. Okay, if one of you tells a really good joke,

I'll give a disadvantage to the roll. And I'll do the laugh. Okay. Okay, a really good joke. Is this just for Aiden? No, this is for the, what, for me to think it's funny? Yeah. No, no, it'll be for this joke.

Can I really quickly, just before, because I know I'm going to have to react to this. Yeah. I'm going to do the laugh that I do when a photographer says, do a natural laugh. Oh, great. OK, great. What's brown and sticky?

What a stick You know that crazy that the only time I've heard a laugh like that was when I was like six years old I fell off my bike and my mum laughed at me like that. That's legit. That's a fucking sense memory that unlocked in me I scraped my knee and she cackled so hard Is that how it feels? My son! My son on the floor! And I don't care! I haven't laughed this much in ages!

God, why does it feel so good? She was laughing because there was a goose that was chasing me on the bike. Really? Was there really a goose? Wait, was this at Scarborough Park? I don't know. I think, I don't know. Somewhere in Sydney there was geese and a goose was chasing me and I fell off my bike

and then I scraped my knee and I was crying and the goose was running and like kind of trying to attack me and my mum couldn't stop laughing. Yeah, I guess there are some wounds that even Dungeons and Dragons can't heal. But Celestia! I thought the kind of laugh you do when a photographer is photographing you is like... Oh yeah, no. Have you met our Demi? That wouldn't work.

And so powerful and hideous was the laughter that with disadvantage, Celestia rolled a six and a four and failed. What happens when she laughs? She becomes prone and incapacitated and presumably drops her weapon. I'm going to say she drops the last two weapons. You can make a dexterity check to try and catch it for me if you'd like. That's a 17 from Charyon. Alright, it hits your hand. You now hold the heart of the ironwood and it grows like a pair of great antlers expanding and strengthening. It is now a plus three bow.

And it is now Dina's turn. Aaron? As you look up the horizon is coming even closer. There's only blackness beyond the... And Dina's got their stick, right? Did Dina catch their stick? Oh yeah, Dina, you can make a deck check to catch your little stick if you want to.

Oh yeah, I mean, I guess. You wanna do a dance on your stick? Dexterity. You wanna dance on a stick? Dexterity. Just roll the dice, tell me what it says. No, I'll figure it out. Just roll the dice.

The fucking dice. 17. 17! You catch it, Demi. I've caught it. Dinner, you catch the sleet stuff and it blzzz in your hands and they get a little cold but then they feel oh so warm that hot cold that you know it's like you're holding a warm cup of cocoa but it's cold outside you hear the bells either bells can't the power

of winter what would you like to do the power of winter! Oh yeah yeah yeah and the staff grows The power of winter! It gets thicker and kerfier The power of winter becomes a big Danish comfort Danish comfort? It looks like it would... That kind of vibe of Danish comfort Higa Higa?

Kersey? What would you like to do? I'm gonna... Alright, here's what I'm gonna do. Tell me what you're gonna do. What? Attack with the star. Yeah.

Attack with the star. Yes. Yeah. Attack with the star. You don't have to. Attack with the star. Why don't you fucking attack with the star? You spent seven episodes getting the fucking star.

But I'm wondering, you said do it in the order of the seasons But which season happens first? It's just a matter of opinion, which one is first Well it's spring, you fucking idiot What, spring is the month of seven of the year? You did it! Seven? It also said the heart had to pierce the heart. So if you start with winter and then go from there,

it would go winter, spring, summer, then fall, and then if we shot the arrow, then that might be all. So it's winter! You're fucking me! It's winter! Nobody calls me an idiot, I'm the boss here! My belt's too high. Yes, what would you like to do dinner? Well, some people stay inside a lot and they don't really notice what the weather's like.

And if they don't know the seasons, they don't know their heat. And if they don't know how to throw stuff they might get beat. What would you like to do? I reckon use the gun again. Alright I'm going to throw it. Alex just fell over a chair. You just fell over a chair. Why? Why on earth? I was just wondering. What? Nothing. I'm going to, I'm using my weapon.

Okay. What would you like to do? Well, I'm going to, well, I can't cast slow. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it.

I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to throw it. I'm using my weapon. Okay, what would you like to do?

Well I'm gonna, well I can't cast slow. Yeah you can. Cast slut. Yeah do it. I'm gonna cast slut in Alex's suit. Oh she's got some big anime titties. Alright, so here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna cast slut. And if she's wearing it...

What is she wearing? I wrote, I wrote, SLOW! I'm gonna cast slut. Yeah, and if she's wearing it Not slut it's crazy that D&D updated the rulebook to be That was crazy, but it's in the handbook and they did it! It's in the handbook, so I don't know. Eden! Yes? You gotta do a Christmas saving throw. No, hold on. It's a cast, I cast Slut. And because it's a spell of cold, that's why it's making her shirt so much shorter.

So, I'm casting Slut on Celestia. Yeah, okay, and her nipples get hard, so she has to use her tentacles to cover them up. That's right. And she can't use them anymore. Okay, I guess that's what's happening. And I use that at her heart. Great, great, great. And that takes out two tentacles. Great. Which there's only four left, which is actually fucking incredible. Polly, what would you like to do? Four tentacles, slither and squirm. I'm gonna get my good friend Sunbelt Gongbonga. I'm like, let's do a Waddle Gongbonga classic. That sounds disgusting. Hahaha.

What is, what? I'm not saying no, but... I'm not saying it's not disgusting. What does it involve? Fling me around by the feet. Oh yeah, that one okay yeah I just thought I assumed it was a 69 oh yeah what do you think now we're fighting for our lives that I was like how about a 69 how would I even reach

well at best I'd be sucking off your belly button. What a way to go, though! I'd be really munching on that cloaca and you'd be sucking on the belly button. Get stuffed! I think we got a new spell. At best! Throw me around like one of your colleagues. I rolled a one and a two. Faceplant. You go pound it slamming into the dust and as you do that tentacles, was that your turn

Polly? Yeah that was my whole turn. Well good waste of a turn and as you do three tentacles slam into your form. Uh, Sunbelt Gongbonga. Is the heart still exposed? Uh, it is still exposed. I'm gonna charge at the heart and attack with the axe. Okay.

You take eight points of damage before this. What? From what? From its turn. You can't just make that shit up, what the- I absolutely can! That is my one purpose! To make shit up! What do you think this is?

This- this feels like you didn't even roll any fucking dice! I did! I'm fucking multitasking! I'm not here talking about sucking up fucking cloacas! I'm holding this shit together! It also makes it better people listening, uh, I'M FUCKING MULTI-TASKING! I'M NOT HERE TALKING ABOUT SUCKING UP FUCKING CLOACAS! I'M HOLDING THIS SHIT TOGETHER! It also makes it better people listening, uh, Aiden is dressed like an elf right now. Hahaha. He's got little cherry red cheeks.

And I put mascara on him. And he looks so cute. And his little eyelashes are blinking adorably. I'm so mad. Um, alright, 16 plus 6 is 22. Does that hit the heart? Yes, that hits. Alright, uh, I'm so mad. Alright, 16 plus 6 is 22, does that hit the heart? Yes, that hits. Alright, I'm doing damage to the heart. That is 12 damage to the heart.

So you pound upon the purple energy of the heart, but it remains undamaged. Charyon Valerian, it is your turn. Okay, well I'm gonna use the bow. Yes. And shoot. Drawing it back. Straight and true. At the heart.

That's an 18. Oooh. And flying straight and true. The pulsating arrow pierces the heart not in a sexy way you fucking freaks in like a dying way okay so she sounds like this and all the blackness retreats into her for a second and she falls down onto the floor of the stadium and she reaches up she's right next to you dinner munch about and she says Wait, oh you know you were you're you're you're fine. I'm out

Do you don't have to do this? You don't have to do this. This is fine. I I Can make you not a loser. I can make you not a gimp. Don't you want to be a god of the new world, little munchpout? Little Dina! May I call you Little Dina? You can call me Little Dina. I can call you Little Dina because that's what you asked of me. You're my Little Dina. Dina! You're not little. I'm of me. You're my little dinner. Dinner. You're not little. I'm an entree.

You're big. You're not a loser. You're a legend. You are a hero of yurth. I got friends now. Can I just fuck her up? And raising the sleet star. Can I do it with the end, with the bottom of it?

Yeah, absolutely. Here's what I'm gonna do then. Tell me about it. I'm gonna get onto it and I'm gonna grab the top and I'm gonna do a big old jump and skunk it right into that heart. And skunked deep in the heart of the Celestia, the goddess who made this world.

And as I do I say, I'm sorry about that slut spell. And ice spreads across the surface of this frozen lake and Celestia is drawn down into the crevasse and the crevasse is filled and standing in her place is a single shimmering tentacle which lashes out and strikes? This is what a coincidence Sun belt gong bonga Dead in the heart Twelve damage that stings. Oh, you okay over there, Hing?

You okay, buddy? Twelve damage is more than the one hit point that I have. Oh, what a shame. What a shame, and after that, the tentacle slithers down into the hole, never to be seen again. Fuck! And in its place, and in its place,

appears suddenly the dextrous elf elf Saffron Ironbark, the ancient dwarf Callus Bunyonson, and Polly Waddle's father Wayne Waddle. The champions released from their frozen prison stand where Celestia once stood. stand where Celestia once stood. One year later, later, later, later, later, later, later. What the fuck? What the fuck? It is the solstice once again. And the stage is set up for the Merry Reexistence Festival. And you all have been invited back.

You, Polly, with your family and your father. Charyon with your parents. Dinner with your dog. Yeah. Yeah. You see on stage, there's like some kids doing a little play, but it's you guys and it says the heroes of Yearth in a big banner and they're replaying your great victory from the year

before. Yeah. And who, two figures walk onto stage, none other than Neil Meyer and Gavin who are the hosts they're like oh thanks to the Frostopolis Primary School for their fabulous... Reunact but that was really special. Now let's get the real heroes of worth out on to stage and on comes Polly and Dina and Charyon and you all you all you all sit in little chairs and um and this chair really makes me remember gong bong crazy this whole

thing is gonna result in me just having to sit here and watch some of your own medicine Michael some of your own man there, some of your own medicine. There is a giant projector with like a sepia picture of Gongbonger singing in a chair just kind of looking and it says whatever the dates were that he was alive for. Vale, Vale Gongbonger. And Gavin's like, so Polly, tell us where you've been since you saved the world. Oh well, I've, you know, I've been busy and so I'm sorry I haven't called guys. I know I've been a little quiet on the old Yearth group chat lately. You know, obviously I mourned my friend, my dear friend, that bloom guy.

Oh, Sunbelt, yes, Sunbelt, Sunbelt gong bonga. Just read it off the auto key. Yeah, Sunbelt gong, yeah bonga. And you know, I've just been touring the country with my new album. Yeah, I've been doing a lot of Christmasy sort of specials. So, I found a gap in the market. You're, you're, you're.

And realized that, you know, my son, who was a struggling musician, but actually got the pipes from mum. So yeah, been busy, been busy. We're promoting my new album right now. That's out this week. Yeah, Mary Dukmus. And a big picture of Mary Dukmus featuring Mitchell Bubbly kind of cowering in the corner with like a bloody hand. Let me see it in the back. Charyon Valeriant, you've gone on to bigger and better things since Saving the World. Oh yes, I'm now ruling my father's kingdom and there's a couple of cool changes I've

made. Oh really? Tell us about them well Well, I mean for instance obviously There has been a commitment to musical education That is so beautiful within the school system of the autumn lands. That's incredible. And I redesigned lasagna. Okay moving on. Moving on from Chad, what about you Dina? It's sideways now instead of on top of each other. Incredible. A lot of people boo that. They're like BOOOOO! Just try it!

Wait can we hear the crowd boo the lasagna? BOOOOO! Can we hear the crowd boo the lasagna? Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo So I've got this one here. It's this one is it's one of those green hot sources Should I put a little on my tongue? Yeah, it's called fuck your ass No, no, no, he's a bit he's a mud man Gavin's face melts off because it's so spicy And then I've got this other one. It's kind of like maroon That one's called it feels like I'm shitting sand Um, and... Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Look, I'd really love to have stepped up here. I'd like to thank Nilmaja for putting me, giving me the position to host this. I have one more hot sauce.

Oh, go on. Okay, yes, I guess the others were shilling their various products. The last hot sauce is called, It'll Make Your Ass a Different Shape. Not gonna try that one, Beth. Okay. Thank you very much, maybe for later.

Look, I just want to say, well, before Gongbonga passed, as I looted his body, as he knew I would want him to do, I knew he would want me to do, there was a sending stone on his body that I found. And I thought it would be only appropriate for me to having not listened to it. Play it now in front of everyone I believe it is Gongbonga's last will and testament. Wow he left a voice memo. Well you know who'd love to hear it his wife, child and several husbands who are all here to hear the final message as well

and someone holds up the baby Lion King style To my friends the heroes of Yrth I leave an amulet of drinking some archaeological gear the hand of a cop I think Some archaeological gear. The hand of a cop, I think. People start crying in the ointment, like... And also... I'm gonna say...

Goth's ring. And my copy of Anran's The Fountainhead. Wow. Truly stirring words. To my child. Oh, he's still going, sorry. I leave the Axe of the Sands. Hopefully you use this to kill your other fathers. Just kind of add to one of me, like, you know what?

I'm just saying, if you ever need to go into your mum's bedroom, knock first. You could see all kinds of fucking, I mean, just crazy shit going on in there. And if you do, it's gonna fuck you up! So here's the axe, in case you wanna kill them all. Please kill them all. I don't even know if you're mine. Gosh, I'm running out of words here, okay, that's enough. And as this message is playing, there's a slideshow of images of various poses of Gongbong as sitting in his chair with his arms crossed in various, various looks of distress and

discomfort on his face. Yeah, different shirts and clothes to show that it's different dates as well. And with that, we look up into the sky, into the endless blue, turning to black as we fly up and away from your earth, who knows when to return. Boy oh boy, it's been a great adventure huh Tommy? It's been pretty good. I'd say pretty fucking seamless, wouldn't you? Yes. Pretty fucking seamless.

Thank you! Good night! That's the end of Season 2 of Dragon Friends. Please give it up for Simon Greiner, Demi Lardner, Michael Hing, Eric Slee, Tom Cotty, and even Lacey everybody! We'll see you next year! Merry Christmas!