Dumb Blonde - TBT: Sloan Bella - Mystical Mother

Episode Date: January 2, 2025

Bunnie sits down with mystical mother, psychic medium, and Master Astrologer Sloan Bella. Sloan opens up about her unique upbringing, discovering her psychic gifts, and her path to motherhood and spiritual healing. They dive into deep topics like past lives, soulmate connections, and communicating with loved ones who have passed. Later, Sloan does an impromptu birth chart reading for Bunnie and Jelly Roll, providing insights into their astrological personalities, compatibility, and future predictions.Sloan Bella: Website | TikTokWatch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the BunnyXO show. We have Meet the D-Fords. We have Popaganda. We have more shows that we're adding.

And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats, live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every freaking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from Jay and I, lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get.

It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Gotta go bye.

Is this thing on? Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast, done blonde. Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife that was my goal as a child and here we are what's up you sexy motherfuckers welcome to another episode of dumb blonde today we have our mystical mother here sloan bella i know you've been called a lot of things but you are our mystical mother i love that to you you. I love that. I'm so excited to be here. It's so exciting, dude. So I walked in Sloane has this package that she literally wrapped to the gods for me and we got it open

and it was the most beautiful obsidian ball. It looks like my own personal eight ball. Like it is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten along with tons of other crystals and stuff like that. Like it was, it was really new studio. I know to raise the vibes and have it go really well. I appreciate it so much. It was such a pleasure bringing it because it came off my set to your set. Oh, I love that. Yeah. It came from my home to your home. Literally. It was one that I use that was out every day. So I wanted to bring it to you. Yay.

When I find the perfect place for it in the studio, I will video it. I'll make a video and I'll tag you in it so that you can see where it's at. Awesome, awesome. Sloan, I'm really stoked to have you here. I've been nervous, not going to lie, because there's some things I want to ask you about Jay and I and just life that I don't know if I want the answer to. But it's like you are the most honest person I've seen on the internet who just keeps it 100. I dabble in all things,

like I guess you could say a cult, and I'm obsessed with death, and I love just everything mystical. And when you came across my radar, I was like, who is this woman? And then the more that I studied your story and got to know who you were as a human, I was like, this is my long lost sister. We probably are to some degree. Yeah. It's crazy. It's so interesting. Yeah. Because we both left home at 14, uh, just decided to up and go. I think you were in a warmer climate. I was not, I was here in Vegas. Oh yeah, no, I was in Toronto. So it was more of a stupid decision, you know, to run away with just the clothes you're wearing. Cause it was pretty cold. Freezing. Yeah. It was October. It was our, it was our Halloween Thanksgiving in Canada. So I remember when, do you remember the day you

decided to run away? Absolutely. Like I can visualize it and everything. Exactly what I did. I did. I took a purse. I took my Marilyn Monroe book and out the door I went, I took a trash bag of clothes. Did you own a trash bag? Yeah. And to this day I pack up everything in trash bags. Doesn't matter how much money I have. I will literally throw all of my clothes from my closet in trash bags. And just so I can, that's how I move clothes yeah that's probably the best way to do it till you hang up yeah you can hang them up I mean because they're gonna get wrecked anyway so I don't know I've never understood people who fold their clothes and put them in boxes like if I can put them in a bag dump it out and sort it out and throw it out and give it away yeah

absolutely so I kind of feel like we do know each other in the sense we went kind of in two different directions both sex work, but a little bit different. Well, let's, let's circle back. Let's start from the beginning. Cause I want my, you know, followers who don't know your story to really get to know you, where you came from and how you came to be this just mystical mother. I love that you call me that. You are, you're right. You're just like, I look up to everything you do. I think it's amazing. Oh, that's awesome. Because my greatest gift was being a mother. So that was the thing I was here to do.

I love that. That's what I feel. Yeah. And looking back on my life, there was one thing and it was that. Let's talk about your childhood and where this all started and all that. Okay. So it's kind of interesting because I was adopted. So you never really give much thought as to what happens because you don't remember.

You're like a newborn. Okay, so your mother. Go ahead. My mom had me and gave me up after she gave birth to me. And I was in foster care for 10 months. So people I don't know were watching me. And it's interesting because it didn't occur to me that that would be trauma until my son just had our second granddaughter and I'm watching her and she's not even the age I was when I was adopted.

And I see all the love that went into her. And then I'm like, I have no memory, no pictures, no memory, none of that. I mean, you don't really remember, but I can see with my granddaughter how loved she is. So it, it occurred to me this week looking at her, because she's nine and a half months, that, she's so cute, looking at her that, did I recall, like, what happened in that time frame? They say trauma starts at the moment of conception. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, they do.

There's a book, I'll tell you, I'll get you the name of it. I believe it. Yeah. I believe it. And I know people say, because my parents adopted me at 10 months. And my adopted mother, who was a nightmare for people who know, she was very well-educated businesswoman, overpowering and crazy. Okay, looking back on it, I think she may have actually had a few screws missing.

But it was difficult she told me something and she said she kept coming to the orphanage or she called it that so whatever the place that housed the baby housing place and she was looking for a child she was at 40 looking for a child and she said I was the only one she came back three times and I was the only one that called out to her. So that's karma right there. Next life, I'm not doing that. Right. Very clearly. Well, not doing it.

Do you believe that you signed up for that, though? Like you came here for that lesson? Or do you think it was? I know people like to say that. In the past few years, I've changed my mind. I believe I was kidnapped here, actually. Like I'm being dead serious. I believe I was kidnapped here, actually. Like, I'm being dead serious. I think I was hijacked here. Or maybe people change after they make

the agreement, and then we're stuck in that until we're not. But I did walk away from it. I do know when you're adopted, you don't hold attachment to a lot because they, my family would say, you know, we chose you this and that, which technically, yes. And I think that led me right into stripping, honestly, because it's like, pick me, you know, pick me. And so I never correlated it, but I actually believe that now. And I found it extremely difficult. They were very educated people and well-schooled and very proper. And I'm sorry, I'm laughing at that because I'm so not proper. We all have to laugh at our trauma. Yeah, I know. I really laugh at that. I was absolutely

not proper. My mom was British. And you know, you had to sit down and wait for dinner to be served and clean the table. It's good etiquette. But they were so like, you need to marry a man and be a secretary and I'm like uh yeah no yeah I'm sorry no even at a young age you knew that that's not what you wanted no no absolutely not it when I was a little kid I used to tell my mom I'm gonna go to California I don't know why I had that in my head and my husband's there and you know and he was and he well yeah anyway he was also Canadian so it was really interesting. That too is karma. So the childhood stuff was good. I had the usual.

I went to private boarding school, the usual for the British. Okay, I'll say it that way. In Canada, boarding schools, I would get expelled. You know, I was naughty. Expelled, expelled. Then I went to private school, expelled. You know, that kind of thing. And I would never stay in school.

I wouldn't stay put because I couldn't grasp what they were saying, I guess, if that makes sense. It was dumb to me and I was no good at math, but I was good at English. So I would stay for English and art and then gym and leave or what we call physical education and then leave and get in trouble constantly. And when I was really little, like first and second grade, you'll love this one. I know you'll appreciate this. Did you ever get yelled at in school for talking too much? I'm smiling because I got expelled from school.

There you go. I had to sit at the table and have wait till dinner got served. I had to clean up the table. All that nonsense. Literally like- Yes, nonsense. No, it's crazy.

That's why I'm smiling because I'm just like, I got kicked out of every school I went to. I was called to Nate. I got expelled from school and, uh, kindergarten for ripping a boy's shirt off of him because he was talking shit about my dad. There you go. He deserved it. Yeah, literally. No, for sure. But just listening to you talk, I'm just like, Oh my gosh, it was the same. It was the same. And what I found even more interesting, which is a psychic trait. So I was in school and I was no, my aptitude for math was ridiculous and it didn't have any

except for me either. But yeah, I mean, I can count money. Yes, I can make money. That's all that matters. I'm like, who cares if I can do an algebra now in our forties? Nobody exactly said no one ever. I used to argue that and get yelled at for that too. But I say, what am I going to do? Actually, in astrology, you do kind of need algebra, but now computers do it all. So I don't, but I did. I got humbled by that at one point when I was learning how to do a chart. But I was in a special class for, they now have like learning disabled classes, but I was dyslexic and

ADD and a whole host of God knows what, hyper, hyper person, right? And so I went to a special morning class. I don't know what to call it. I would use a derogatory term, but I won't. Kids in my class could not see, they could not hear. And I could do all of those things, but I was kind of raised through grade school in that class. So it really undermined my confidence. I didn't think I was that smart because I was over here and the other kids were there, but I was able to read braille to little kids. That's what they had me in there for. So I was like, okay, like littler kids that were behind, they didn't have the school system that we have, that our kids would have now. Right. So I felt not very smart, but I didn't care because I just wanted to be pretty because I had a mother that would say, you know, you look, insert insanity here.

So it was very competitive with her kind of. And she was looking back on it. She might have been like a closet alcoholic, I'm thinking, and it was so detrimental, but she did teach me good things because she was a good businesswoman. She was a strong, focused businesswoman and went through three separate careers late into her life, so that part was good. I knew that a woman could do that. She was super strong, so I liked that. I took that part of it, and my dad was the smartest man I knew. Super smart, educated, so smart, could converse on anything, alcoholic and crazy. And so I kind

of grew up in a house and I'm sure your other guests have said it, but I call it covert sexual abuse because I didn't know the name for it, but they took like the bathroom doors off. So I had to shower in front, you know, so look at the life and then move into stripping. You see? So it's kind of a way. My parents took the doors off the hinges too, but not the bathroom, but to my bedroom. And they nailed my window shut and put bells on the door. Like you're a bear.

Literally. I mean, here she comes. Here comes this rebellious ass fucking kid. Yeah. Yeah. But just even having your privacy compromised at such a young age you learn one not to trust people nobody and two to literally skate on thin ice and watch like you're you become like um it's like if somebody moves a certain way you can read

it like you can read oh yeah no i'm triggered by certain people like i'm always like not so much now because i don't care actually going through menopause, I don't care. Like, I'm like, I was telling you about with the weirdo classes. Sorry, kids. The weird classes was it was because I was perceptually not picking up what other people did. But I'm psychic. So they tried to correct that out of me, I think. Did they? OK, so we're winding back.

When you had an encounter with your dad where you asked him um where do we go when we die yeah i asked him yeah i said what happens when we die i was i distinctly remember four turning five and he said you just you rot in the ground i hate when people say that i think he was drunk at the time because yeah who says that to a four-year-old i was so traumatized i ran up to my bedroom hid under the covers and i was was like, hmm, what happened? So then I'm, then me personally, I'm thinking, well, then I should just die now because who cares? That's where I go. I'm like, if I'm going to get there anyway, then so it made me a little bit like suicidal a little bit. Oh my gosh, at four or five? Yeah. Like I thought, why would I be here? Like, what is the point if that's it? And we just rot. I

don't even want to play this game. Like I thinking that so think so deeply like that too at such a young age is is wild it's yeah it's it was obsessive well I'm OCD too so it was obsessive thought rumination but um it the the next thing that happened is my dad's mom came to me but I didn't know who she was just a lady that appeared in my head was this the first time you had ever had a vision or had you been having them before you asked him what happens when we die I had been seeing aliens I call them aliens but I call them earwig men actually growing up because they look like big tall nomadic bedouin with the the tarps on them but they had like you know what a nearwood bug is kind of yeah it has the pinchers okay yes they and the legs yeah the legs and the pinchers and they stand

so these beings look like that in the face but covered in like robes and there would be around my bed every night so i was already waking him up with those stories um and he just thought you're just being a kid i went to no he thought they thought i was crazy because i was adopted they can then use adoption against you because you're not theirs you see so it's like you're crazy so then the visits to the shrink happened and i'm like i can't help it i'm sick you know i never denied it i never tried to change it i just said no they're earwig men at first they looked for bugs and they weren't bugs. I said, no, these are men.

And I always say, I thought they hid under the bed. They didn't. In the closet. I didn't know where they came from. They were around there. So when my, I technically grandmother adopted, but I didn't know her. She died years before I was even born. When she appeared, I woke my dad up.

I snuck down the hall, tap, tap, tap. He slept closest to the door. So that's why I could get to him. And I told him there was a God. That was what I said to him. He got so mad. I want a little psychic baby. Yeah.

I would love the shit out of a little psychic baby. I'd be like, just, oh my God. He got so mad. Like he was like, get to your room, wake me up again. And then the spanking started, all of those things, you know, because they wanted me to shut up, basically. He was raised very religiously, I guess. And then as happens, had an issue with it.

My biggest problem with religion is how can you be religious but not spiritual? You can't, I don't think. It's insane to me. Right. It's insane to me that people preach all this love and this and that,, I don't think. It's one man made to me, right? It's insane to me that people preach all this love and this and that, but they don't practice it. No, they're that's manmade here. And it's money. It's it's earthbound. Yeah. So if you, you don't have to go to church, you do not have to go to church. I never went to church. No one like my dad was off the church by

the time I came along. So there was no church. I went with the neighbor kid a couple of times, but that was at her family's request when I stayed over there. But you don't need church. You either know there's a God or you don't. Yeah. I grew up in church and I, you won't catch me in one now because I just think that the, the people there are just hypocritical for the wrong reasons. Yeah. And it's manmade and it's, it's skewed for them to control the masses. So it's a little bit of a hypnotic for the masses and God is in you. Like your creator is with you, period. You don't just end up here and need man to tell you what to do. Right. In my opinion. Exactly. And I just feel like Jesus was a Capricorn. He was a hell of a lot cooler than people try to make him sound. He was not black and white. No, no, no. He got got mad at people that's what i always say to when people go people say to me how can you swear if

you're spiritual how can you do this how can you do that and i'm like jesus did like yeah what are you saying he wasn't human he was in human form he was the son of god walking on in a human shell like we are so i get to cuss you out because you asked me a stupid question has Jesus ever appeared to you not me no but I I do feel the spirit in me and I can feel it around me but no I have not had that happen I would love that to happen yeah that would be amazing wouldn't it yeah I have I have not had that happen I have had um I have had visions though of when I'm talking to people who who have illness terminal illness like they could be my friends and actually they were my friends and I know they're getting ready to pass and this

one friend in particular was very catholic girl I saw like the virgin mary come around her weeks before she died that's how I knew she was going to die like I saw what she prayed to coming around her. So I was like, okay, she will pass soon. I didn't tell her at that time, but I just knew it. And she passed on Palm Sunday, which was really interesting. Yeah. We're going to dive into some death talk later on, because I have been listening to how you have like predicted a few people's deaths and I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to just going to have a sit down with Sloan and we're going to talk about death. I don't pick that up around you, by the way. Thank God.

All right. Thank you. But so the circling back to, you know, you're this four year old girl. You're being told that what you're saying is wrong. You're being sent to shrinks. You're being spanked because of these visions you're having. Take me on this journey. And how are you feeling?

Like, are you still just like no I'm right or are you just like giving into like thinking maybe there is something wrong with you I always felt like I didn't belong with them but I don't know that I felt right or wrong about it I just knew right so I didn't even attach like a judgment to it I was like I just feel I kind of just feel like they can say what they want and I can say what I I didn't argue except with my dad like you know if this went on from four to ten so it went on like six years and at the end of it if I even opened my mouth he would come flying at me across you know he would just like be like that's it and come he couldn't tolerate it um I wonder if you were triggering something a fear in

him yes yeah maybe you were sent there to for him i i think so because after he passed which my son hates when i tell this story because he's like i don't remember and i'm like because he was a very psychic child my jason but when my dad died okay in in 2006 at the age 80 something, whatever, older, and he passed, he came to my son. I did not get the phone call because they're in Toronto and we're here. So they were waiting for us to be awake after Christmas. And my son told me before I got the call, he came downstairs and he said, you know that grandpa? They only met him once. And he goes, you know that grandpa with the dogs?

It was poodles. And I said, yeah. And he goes, he's in my room and he said there is a god so he came through my son which was tremendous for me and a nice acknowledgement confirmation yeah because when they cross out of the physical we do go to different levels so according to your belief system, like if you really want to go somewhere that isn't with God, you can go there. I mean, you're never stuck anywhere. You can kind of transition through different levels as you choose. It's your belief system. And he obviously he crossed over to a dimension. I don't believe we go to heavens. A lot of the religions say you're

here and then in heaven. Right. That's not my understanding of it at all. So we go through different levels, kind of like school, but I don't want to say school, but different dimensions. Do you feel, do you get to pick them or is it just how you've lived your life that lifetime and how you gave back and what you did that I think the level that you get to go to next? I, I'm not sure, you know, I can't really answer that because, um, when my son passed, I noticed the work that he was doing was work. He is working on the other side and I had never seen that, but he shows up in a position of helping from the other side. So he went right into kind of helping people, which was an interesting concept because some people I see that are in school, other people are just having fun. Some people are watching their families.

Like when my dad passed, he was around me for 15 years. Like I could pick him up like that. You know, he was like, I'm here to help you because I put you through so much. He was watching. He was actually watching like what I was doing. I felt I felt. And then suddenly the energy was gone. So they will transition. And when they either, and again, time is much different. Time is meant to keep us stuck here. We are kind of, I feel, I don't know that we all choose to come here. I have to say that. I really don't believe that. I would love to hear your theory on that because I always feel like I have always, but I don't know enough and

I'm always open to learning. Yeah. I have always felt like I, maybe it's my way of coping with my trauma, but I always feel like I picked my parents and I needed to learn these lessons in this life. And that's what has made me the woman that I am today. Absolutely. I agree with that part of it. Yeah. When I look at that, though, they tell us that. And I don't know that I hear that. Sometimes I do hear souls are sent here to heal and to teach. I don't think that I'm one of those because I just refuse to say I came here.

She's like, I am not of this world. I am not. I did not. But I do know they do. There are healers and teachers that come down as people to maneuver around people, right? But I feel, I know that kids can leave before the age of four if they don't want to continue on this incarnation. So we have from birth to four. And if you really don't want to be here, I know the soul can leave easily obviously they're kids right they could do anything i feel like children are so much more

in tune with the other side oh they are they live more on the other side they see they they have a whole thing and then we're taught it's not real because if you knew it was real you'd be like why am i here right you'd be like why am i here yeah and as you get older more of your people are over there than here you know i mean like when you as you get older, more of your people are over there than here. You know, I mean, like when you get into your 70s, most of your friends or parents and siblings have crossed. So I actually believe some of us are, I believe the reincarnation cycle was hijacked, to tell you the truth. Wow. the truth. So I believe some of us were forced into coming back here because when we crossed out,

we went where we thought, but I think they kind of steered us down the wrong path. Like a kind of spiritual warfare? Yes, absolutely. I am not convinced we're all supposed to be here. And a lot of new age, I know you hear it all the time. It drives me crazy yeah they say you can co-create I'm like tell the people in Ethiopia that they can create whatever life they want because they cannot because the whole country is gridded and the energy is blocked and stolen so they cannot neither can Haiti neither can wherever you know yeah they can't so stop saying that is it what only first world countries that we can do it yeah so see that's profiteering off of spiritual so they haven't had enough I don't know people just think it's nice to believe in I think it depends on the person

and I think sometimes we jump into something I'll tell you I had a experience once with somebody who passed away unexpectedly and of an overdose. And their sibling, when I saw the sibling pregnant, I knew it was that person coming back because I dreamt it. And I thought, oh, my goodness. And all the way along in the pregnancy, I was like, they were deciding whether they were going to come back in because they wanted to complete the connection, but had OD'd. So they left early and then tried to come back in, but chose not to be born. So that was a stillbirth. And I saw the whole thing. I saw the soul making that decision, like, you know, in the way of this person as a person.

Like, I saw it and I knew it was going to happen. I did not tell the person, but when it happened, I was like, yeah, I thought that was going to happen. So it's interesting. That soul made a decision first to come in and be pregnant, maybe to clear the karma with the sibling, you see, and just live in the tummy and then leave. So I'm not quite sure how it works really. That's wild. That's really crazy. I definitely want to look into that more. So circling back to your childhood. She keeps trying to go there. No, I know. I'm like, let's talk about it, baby. So circling back to your childhood, you're growing up in this house. Take me on this journey. Like, are you still seeing visions? Do you, as a child, do you start talking to them? Do you?

The way that it works for me is I'm very clear audience so I hear things and then I just blurt them out okay so that was annoying again hello blah annoying child so it's kind of like you had to learn how to wrangle it yeah you and you have to learn to know what it is because you can say something and think it's going to be it it's a combination of feeling your body and wording and the wording can come from outside of you, but it comes from inside of you. Like just say this. So when I say it, I get a feel for whether it's my crazy mind or if it's psychic. I also dream things, but not as much anymore. And I used to be what's called, I think they call it a trance channel, meaning I would, in order to connect with people that have passed on, I would step out of my body. So my physical would go to sleep and I would, in order to connect with people that had passed on, I would step

out of my body. So my physical would go to sleep and they would, they say it means they come into your body, but I was not coherent. Like many a friend when I was a teenager say, you know, you just dropped off for 10 minutes there. Like I wasn't on drugs, contrary to what my family thinks. But I would step out and I was able to connect through that. And it has to do with the frequency of the body because it's very hard for them to connect with us and we have to heighten our energy to get out. So to actually do readings awake and like, like this, to talk to people, it's kind of athletic with energy. You have to raise your vibration up. So you kind of have to know how to do that or you get drained because your energy goes and then drops right so

when I was a teenager I would just I call it stepping out I would actually this would shut down like this and I'd step out and I would see them and that first happened when my best friend passed on a motorcycle so I was like 16 turning 17 and he was 18 and I did not know he passed until I fell asleep for 10 minutes and saw him. Oh my goodness. And so my boyfriend at the time said, you just were like acting like you were hugging somebody and taught, but you're, you weren't awake. So, and then I woke up and said, oh my God. And then had to track him down and find out what happened. He came very, very clearly to me. So, yeah. So I, I physically was somewhere else or on the it's the

astral level actually yeah it's out of your body and it's right here is it ever a scary feeling to be out of your body or does it always feel peaceful oh it doesn't feel peaceful no okay no no no I mean I don't know about then because I can't remember right I had a lot of anxiety, but when I'm out of my body, I kind of, I call it like an airplane grounding back in. And sometimes it's very bumpy. You jolt in and other times it's smoother, but I call it grounding in like an airplane. Do you ever get scared that like your soul will get snatched while you're out of your body? How do you protect yourself? I don't know. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm like fascinated. Teach me. They tell you how to protect protect yourself I don't know um yeah no I mean I'm like fascinating yeah they tell you teach me they tell you how to protect yourself I actually pray to God so I ask in the name of

Jesus to protect me yeah I wear crystals like I have all my jewelry is kind of crystal to align it so that they can't get into my head you know uh I kind of feel like I pray. I go in nature. That's the quickest way I find. So I find grass and trees and usually a dirt trail and I start walking up it. I try to eat right. I don't get high or drunk because that will because you won't even care. Yeah.

So I don't do those. But I don't know that you can protect yourself if it's going to happen to you. Right. I don't know that you can. I'm not sure. I have always, ever since I was a little girl, and I've said this on multiple podcasts, seen spirits and dreams. I've had people who have crossed over that have come to me that I didn't even know they

had crossed over. So why do you fight it? I just, it's not that I fight it because I've actually made peace with it now. So it doesn't bother me as much. But I don't know if I, I never want to steer anybody the wrong way. And I don't know if I am the right vessel for like anything other than myself. Okay. So that's perfect for now.

That's perfect. Exactly. Okay. So that's perfect for now. That's perfect. Exactly. Okay. So first of all, when you read energy, you are just giving information like your phone, your phone, the phone doesn't judge me or you. If I'm calling you and I scream at you, the phone is not like, Oh, I shouldn't have dialed her number. The phone does not know. So we are a wire. That's it. So if you have something to say to somebody, say it to them and just say, I'm giving you this, do wire. That's it. So if you have something to say to somebody, say it to them. Yeah. And just say, I'm giving you this, do what you want with it. Yeah. Cause you hold, I, I don't care about being right. Or if, I mean, people can call me crazy. I had one woman insist I was wrong. I'm like, fine. I do not care. Um, you that's fine. But I give the information if I

get it and I don't judge it anymore. When I was younger, I might've talked around it because I'm like, who says some of this stuff? But, um, yeah, no, you, if you get it, give it because they're coming to you because you can hear them. Yeah. So it's like driving to Vegas, you know, how dark that road is at night. And if you see a light and your car breaks down, you're going to go to that house. Now, what if they don't help you? Right. So they, they, they want you to go there. That's why they're coming to you. They want you to do it. And it's part, it is part of what I think you're here to do if you can do it. So whether you like it or not, like none of us grow up and I did not, I've tried to get out of this. I don't, it's not,

no. Yeah. You're like, do you feel like it's, it's almost like a out of this i don't it's not no yeah you're like do you feel like it's it's almost like a um i don't want to say a prison sentence because that sounds terrible but it's almost like exhausting yeah it it bugs the living shit out of me and people yell at me you know how they get at you online yeah like a bunch of bitches anyway no offense to the good ones troll ass bitches but um welcome to yeah that's what they are but they say oh how do you how come you get mad when people you know ask you for a reading i'm like i had people in my house from the age of 20 up until covid yeah like my entire life has been just reading yeah and they came to me physically like like they come to your studio they came and sat down my kids grew up I mean decades yeah four decades like stop yeah you know

and I'm I mean I'm trying to talk on a live show about something let's say and they're like do you do a reading I'm like it no go away no yeah you're like that's the last thing I want to do just let me do my thing it's like if you're a hairdresser and you go to eat lunch and then somebody's like could you just cut my back shut the yeah you're like leave me alone yeah I totally so it's like that and other times I don't want to see things so there's certain things I don't want to see um and that again comes and it comes with the death of my son. And when my stepson passed, I saw both of those things. And people mistake it. They say you're not supposed to speak about something like that.

But I actually saw it. And here's what I learned from telling both stepson and son that they were going to pass. I didn't know which one of my sons. So I told both of my sons to hope that one of them listened. But here's what I learned. A soul is going to do what they're going to do anyway. And you can tell them, is that going to stop them? Now that comes into, we have no control over our lives. So there's exit points in life. And I do know that we have three or four, like my son, Keith, he had several different exit points. What was so interesting,

and this comes to your reading point, about 15 years before he passed, I went to an astrologer friend of mine to ask business stuff for my husband, actually. And he was looking at my chart and my husband's. He kind of will look at them together. And he says a bunch of stuff. And he's like, you're going to have a child that dies. And I said, right out of his mouth, like almost the way I do it. And I said, oh no, you mean my stepson? So he said, no, one of yours. And I never forgot it. I told John, my husband at the time, I told him this. And the minute our son passed, this astrologer's name came right out of our mouths. Like we were like, damn. But I started to get the information about two

months before. So it happens for me like that. And I bl blurted out like he blurted it out he was that kind of a psychic like it it happened to me so never ask somebody something you don't want an answer for because you may get an answer you don't i was not expecting that i asked about business and his psychic side took right over even though he was an astrologer, you see, he immediately, blah. Wow. And it was horrifying. And then when my kids turned 18, I was like, they're 18. I'm good.

You know, when they're 18, you think you're good. Yeah. Not so much. It can happen. And I also remember my husband saying, God wouldn't do that to me again, because it was his stepson who passed, who was nine months younger than me. So my husband had two grown kids when i met him so my stepson and stepdaughter are i'm right in the middle of them and i was good friends with my stepson and i told my husband now i said it's not god who does that we're not living on

god's planet down here that is not who is here and souls have their own journey and path so they will leave when they want regardless of what we're told in society. Right. You know, it, it, it has nothing to do with that. So even if there is a murder, you know, something along those lines, I don't know why that is happening. Because if I can't remember killing you and you kill me, I'm just going to come back and kill you again. Hello, I'm coming after you again. See, and I will never stop it. So as a soul, I'm coming back after your ass. Sloan's like, I got a vendetta. I'm coming back. I'm living as a Scorpio now. I'm coming after you. So I don't know that we even understand karma except to say that it is balance. It is not vengeance. So people often say, you know, this one hit me. It's karma. I'm going to do this to them one hit me it's karma I'm gonna do this to

them no it's balance so maybe I need to learn balance maybe last life I didn't want children and so this life my son came to me who I wanted desperately and then he left so maybe now I know that I'm balanced in that feeling do you believe in past life regressions? Oh, a hundred percent. Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah. I've seen past lives. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I've seen them. Yeah. I always think I was like some regal queen, but then I also think I was like some fucking bad bitch warrior. Yeah. You probably, I'm a fighter dude. Yeah. Throughout generations, you know? Yeah. Well, you have class and now it took a lot, long time to find it. Well, no, you would, but you would be different. Your soul would be the same. So you would be in positions of power throughout your life to elevate other people, which is what you're doing here.

You use a play on words, calling it dumb blonde because this stupid society thinks you're dumb. Hello, not dumb. Yeah. You know, like anything but. Yeah. And so you using the play to educate people. It's in your face.

Smack. Deal. Oh, yeah. No, I'm very tongue in cheek with everything I do. I'm going to say it before you can. Yeah. That's, Oh my God. I will out myself on everything. So you can't get, you can't get me. You can't blackmail me. You owe nothing over me. You said something in a podcast that I watched last night on the plane. You said, be real, say what you want and get it out before anybody can ever have anything on you. And I was

just like that. That's how I've lived my life. Absolutely. I love that you preach that to everybody. I do. It was hard. Now my husband is going to hate me for saying this technically ex-husband, but we all know John. So I'm going to shout him out. Shout out John. Yeah, there you go. My man. Anyway, I met him in a strip club. Okay, so. Yeah, we're going back to your childhood. I haven't forgot about that. I met him there and he did not want me saying that out loud.

Now I'm like stripper, stripper, stripper. And so, yeah, it was funny because people carry their own shame about stuff. And I'm like, whatever people's preconceived notions are it's they're gonna have you know that from the internet they call absolutely she's an alien with with you know a horn on the back of her head what they make up the wildest I fight them all the time I'm like fuck you fuck you and fuck you yeah like I shut it down all the time yeah it's you know I'll tell you something I have a good message my my Keith, that passed when we started my channel. I got so mad at this woman. She was trolling me. I'm like, I, I'm going to cross search her name. I'm going to find this. You are me. I swear. I'm going to find

your grandma. I'm going to find your aunts, uncles, your whole bloodline. I'm finding them. I'm going to find your car. I'm going to flatten your tires. I'm going to fuck you up. So my son, Keith, he's sitting there. And he was a Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Scorpio moon. And he's sitting there. And he's like, oh, wow, that's emotional. Sagittarius sun, Scorpio moon. Yeah, and a Leo rising.

So he also had swagger. And he was very cute. And he said to me, mom, do you think Kobe worries about trolls? I'll never forget it. And I'm like, I don't know. I want this woman's number because I can't see straight because I'm so immature. And he's like, no, Kobe laughs all the way to the bank. Now stop looking for this woman and go film some more. So I always remember what he said. What would Kobe do? So that's what I say. But he had to

teach me that. And he it was in 2018. So I was I was like okay I'll listen to you we love Keithy yeah he was so cute and um my husband's a Sagittarius yes I love Sagittarius I love I love Sages yeah they're fun they're fun and they can be oh my god they can foot in mouth and say shit and you're like did did you just say that oh yeah sometimes I have to tell my husband I'm like what the fuck stop it yeah like what are you doing? But he's so sweet. And just, they are very diplomatic. Yeah. They want to have fun. Right. So they don't want to hurt you and make you upset.

Yeah. So that you don't have fun. Yeah. Because they want to continue to have fun. Yeah. And they also like. Very childlike almost. Yeah.

No, Sagittarius is. It's not of the earth. Sagittarius is half man, half horse. So they live on the earth as a different species. They don't feel like us, number one. Okay, people without Sag. And so they live down here and they shoot for what's unknown. So they're always contemplating it.

That is what they do. Their whole thing is about the contemplation of why are we here? Yeah. what they do their whole thing is about the contemplation of why are we here yeah so even if they're the goofiest stupidest yeah childish you know weed smoking speaking about my keithy at the time but whatever they're doing sounds like my husband yeah they're still deeply soulful and thoughtful about where we are and why we are here. Yeah. Oh, he's so, my husband is so deep. Sometimes I'm like, calm down, dude. I have to like bring them out of it, you know, calm down. It's not the time right now. Um, so let's circle back. So you left home at 14 and I heard you say that when you left home at 14, it was, it was life changing for you.

And you had been through a lot when you left home. Can you take me on that journey when you finally decided to leave home? Yeah, it was the greatest thing. I know it pissed my family off, so I'm sorry. Uh, sorry, not sorry. Sorry, not sorry. But, uh, yeah, I packed my little bag and I wore like pants under my pants. So baggy pants over my skinny pants and sweatshirts cause it was freezing. It was October in Toronto, actually up north. And I went to school and my friend's sister drove me to the mall to the bus station. And then I just got on a bus and went to Toronto where I had been. We had moved up north. And of course, nobody would take me in. You know how that is. Yeah, they're like, no,

you're not a wayward child off the street and now and absolutely not so I ended up in the flop houses and you're gonna love this maybe not but the they called them flop houses somebody corrected me and said they call them something else now but where all the drug people go and I'm not gonna lie I liked LSD go ahead uh you know yeah I love that drug yeah um but I ended up in houses with like I I'll say the needle people, the people that use needles. And I was so OCD that I couldn't stand it when they would, I did not do that. But when they would shoot up, they just leave the needles in the cigarette ashtrays on the floor. So I, like the good OCD girl, would pick everything up and wash them.

And I, that we didn't know about AIDS exactly yet at that time, but it was that year that it was, it was like an 81. It broke. And I was already doing that, but I couldn't stand it. We're going to put it back in their arm from the ashtray. That drove me nuts. Like even I was like, no. And I looked in the paper for a job.

So I was always looking in the paper and there was this club and it was called the Fillmore's West, not East. And the owner, he was looking for cocktail waitresses. This is before Tracy Lord's. Okay. So nobody was checking ID. No one cared. Okay. Nobody cared. And so I went and met with him and I had no money to buy a little, he wanted us in a bathing suit with little heels. I had no money. So he gave me a hundred bucks back then and I could have just bailed, but I didn't. And I went and bought it at Capizio's. You remember that store? It's a dance store. So I went and bought this little shiny gold, shiny little bathing suit and these little shoes. And I went and I started waitressing. And then I met one of the strippers and she was like,

I need a girl. We're going to Fort Erie for the weekend. She goes, you want to do it? I'm like, not really. I don't think so. I'd have been like how much yeah yeah well then she says she says um she goes well I have some clothes for you and I'm like not really she goes well it's whatever she said and I'm like okay I'll go the most terrifying thing because it was horseshoe tables back in the day yeah with a whole bunch of people and you're completely naked like you've gone on stage and you're complete and i was like i did not understand what they were looking at i was that immature like i knew i had a body and i know that people look but i was like i don't how you were 14 14 oh my goodness yeah 14 it was a little bit yeah it was a little bit horrifying and then when i shame on those men

though well i don't think they well i mean i looked young but but maybe they thought i was i don't know what they thought they know assholes those men know yeah they probably knew i was and i was terrified i was traumatized and terrified my friend was like doing all kinds of things up there and i was like i'm not making those faces. Like, I'm not going to go. Were you still a virgin? No. Okay. No, no, thank God. No, I knew people, but I mean, you're 14.

What are you getting out of it, really? Yeah. You know, it takes till you're probably 20 to understand what you should do, or at least I felt. Sorry for such a personal question. I was just trying to see where you were at. Oh, no, no. I lost my virginity young.

I learned at age 10 that men would pay for that kind of thing like if you take your shorts down always the stripping they'll give you money so how old were you when you lost your virginity 12 oh my goodness oh my goodness that is so young no I'm not that's no judgment that's coming from a place of love we have a 16 year old I would my heart would break yeah 12 it was a kid my age so okay like, okay. Yeah. It was not an adult person. Um, yeah. Young little boyfriends. I'm like, okay, I'll try that. And I was like, I don't get it. Wow. I was like, no, really. I was like, I don't, it took me years. And then when I had my kids, I was like, I get it. So for me, it was about having my children. Yeah.

That was important. The other stuff I could do without. Yeah. It's never been about the sex for me. Yeah. You know, after the stripping life, I was like, I hate everybody. Yeah. Don't try to kiss me. So you said at a young age, you learned that men would pay for things. Yeah. Have men paying? Oh, yeah. Neighbor men. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I wear little shorts out and stuff and they call you over. And, you know, five bucks if you show me what's in your shorts so i did that i've got to say i did it but i was 10 and i knew better did i did i not but you're a child that's not your that's not your responsibility to know it isn't yeah those men that are disgusting and you'll love this it was the girl scout troops father who else would it be i just got goosebumps yeah i will fucking kill a motherfucker dude like I'm laughing just fucking piss me off yeah no they're really weird but our whole society

they are yeah weird isn't putting it nicely well I look at it and I'm like you're married you have your own kids looking back at it now you know um my abuse as a child came from both my mother was abusive sexually as well so when I talk about, a lot of people are very uncomfortable with it. Even my husband would be like, well, maybe she just didn't know what she was doing. I'm like, come on. What would she do? She would check my crotch when I came in the door. So she would put her hands down my pants and check.

Yeah, yeah. And like put her fingers in you? Yeah, yeah. That's what I lived with. kind of stuff yeah so and when you tell people they're like i know it yeah i know no so you run i mean i never did that with my kids i was always knocking people don't do people don't do i won't even bailey i don't even look at her when she showers at me no that was she not that woman knew what she was doing oh she knew she was trying you know what it was she was trying to have power over you yeah oh yeah she would do stuff like cut all my hair off and then tell my dad i did it no i didn't do you think that's why

you have short hair to this day i wonder because i've had it long like yours and then i'll cut it short right now i don't want to go through the grow out stage oh no it's the worst there's. There's that. I don't know how I'm going to appear on camera. Like, well, luckily there's like wigs and extensions and everything. Yeah. You could do that when it gets to about here. I may try to grow it out, but I have a little face. I love your short hair though. Your look is a vibe. And I would told you when you came in here. 60s vibe. Yeah. 60s. But I love it. It's like very twiggy. Yes. Yeah. I like that kind of thing I love that I think I mean when my mom cut my hair it was like I had long hair and she would just cut like you know so you look like an insane kid that your brother cut your hair off by accident she's just jealous of you

yeah it was I had a horrendous stepmother too she didn't do the things to me that yours did but she beat me and emotionally physically that's the same she probably wanted to do something else and couldn't you know take you down that way yeah horrific horrific left a huge scar yeah it it was interesting because um that has to be a mental illness though like you for sure you just can't be mean to any sort of child on a continuum is fucking wrong with you yeah i can never know your face is hilarious no i love you oh my god no i'm the same way when people talk about my trauma i get like i really giddy and like i nervously laugh it's just it's a trauma response yeah oh absolutely but it's just you cannot be mean to children if they if you're mean to children you are a fucking just a piece of shit evil human being you're a weirdo you are a fucking just a piece of shit evil human

being you're a weirdo yeah children are the most innocent things on the on the earth they they don't have you don't have any recourse really as a child i mean my kids my kids had a lot more recourse like my keithy if you if you told him no you couldn't go out he would turn around and say i'm gonna tell people you did you michael jackson me at that time and I'd be like don't laugh his ass off don't do that it was like 10 and I said what did you just say and he'd go ha ha ha and then you know so the kids got more brash as they got older but for my generation because keep in mind I'm almost 60 which we know but which I speak ad nauseum because I can't believe I'm here uh It's very humbling to grow old, like everything you thought you were when you're young and it wouldn't go away, it's gone.

Whatever it is, you look in the mirror and you're like, who is that? A different person, you know, just so different. But for me, it was very hard with my mother. And I remember running away at 10, running away at 11, running away at 12, my dad would find me. Obviously, I didn't get very far. I mean, who are we kidding? And the other thing that I learned from my childhood was to be a distance runner. So when they would start whatever it was they were talking about in the home, I would leave when I was five, put on sneakers and go out the door. Because back then we all took the subways in Toronto. We all took the buses. That wasn't abusive. Like all the little kids went in little groups. And it wasn't like today where you're like, get off the subway.

Yeah. You'll be kidnapped. And we drop our kids everywhere and micromanage. It was not like that. And I wasn't the only kid out, you know, all my friends, you know, and we lived in a good neighborhood in Toronto, uh, shout out to Lawrence Park and we lived there, but I became a cross country runner to get away from it. So I always had practice and I just have used that to cope my whole life. And it's been the biggest blessing. I would advise people with anxiety and trauma exercise. It is a blessing. Like it comes first in my life, period. I preach that all the time. Whenever I was gone through, whenever I had just gotten out of a severely abusive relationship and I first got with Jay, my body was in fight or flight.

I didn't know what was going on at the time. And this was right before I started hitting my spiritual journey. And I would wake up at, out of a dead sleep at six o'clock in the morning, throw my shoes on and go jog. We'd be on tour and I would jog around the hotel that we were in. Like anywhere we would go. If I started having a panic attack, I would just go jogging. Like it really does reset. It saves your life. Yeah. Saves your life. Did you ever take the, I took Klonopin for a while. Did you? Oh, I was a Xanax addict. I didn't do Klonopin, but give me a little Xani Bonaduce and I would be in heaven. I did the Klonopin. I love Xanax. Yeah. I was was so bad i was having like 200 panic attacks a day and i was always in the emergency room and i thought people were poisoning my kids too i always went

to the emergency yeah i'd run straight there like they're gonna help you me too they lock your ass they give you xanax yeah and fucking colonic but i went so much the doctor told me he was like he didn't call me bunny but he said al, Alyssa, cause that's my real name. He said, Alyssa, you can't keep coming in here. He's like, if you're not going to take the Xanax, do not come back in here. Yeah. Cause you're not dying. Right. Yeah, exactly. Stop it. Yeah. Yeah. I would be, I would be so crazy that I was actually, and it can be spiritual because in the midst of my panic attack, I was, I'm super psychic. Like I would see any kind of energy around me, anything good, bad, or ugly. Yes. And that would freak me out. Yeah. So I would go places and see things like I went to Disneyland with the kids and I would seeing like demonic.

And this is true. Like my, I think Keithy was like three and we were with Tanner and Jason, their little friend. and I was looking around and I got stuck in one of those cars you drive and I'm like oh my god I can't I would see something coming at me and it's because I was so open yeah that they will utilize that if they're a little bit dark to come in and torture you I'm convinced of it I'm convinced of it you can hear in past podcasts where I I don't want to keep circling back to me but it's like the yeah the shit you're saying is giving me confirmation that i'm not crazy you're not crazy how many times have i said that my panic attacks i would look at people and their faces

would look like they're melting yeah changing because you're seeing what you're seeing in the midst of a panic attack i can see people's Yeah. Well, you're seeing a lot of people have attachments. You're actually seeing that. So call it non-human entities attached. I don't go as far as to say they're all demonic unless I can tell by the shape I see. Right. But people walk around with things on them. That's why addicts can't get their drugs up because they have attachments on them who like the drugs. People don't get that. Addiction is a frequency, not a mindset. It's not a lifelong thing. I know Dr. Drew will yell at me. No, I love that. It just gave me goosebumps. It's not a, it's not a lifelong thing. It's a frequency. Once you shift the frequency, you can remove the addiction. You don't think about it because you don't live in it. Wow. It's family patterning. You may come from a family that has a habitual habit of living at that frequency, but that's not, it's not like your gene pool is white. No. Yeah. I don't believe

that. Of course I go against medical science here, but yeah, I don't believe I think that everything is, I love Eastern medicine. I don't like anything about Western medicine. No, it's very damaging. I had my kids, my husband delivered my kids. i did not go to a hospital i took no drugs i was fucking savage it was savage oh god because childbirth is barbaric yeah i haven't had children this lifetime because i fucking am so scared of it like it's so barbaric it it is but it was interesting i think i might have died during child. You could a lot of people still do believe it or not. It's pretty intense. It's a pretty intense thing. And, but I really enjoyed it. I weirdly, I wanted to feel my children. I spent so much time numb that I actually wanted to feel them. Mimi has two kids. She's like, no, I don't like that one. Do you?

Poor Mimi over here is like, I can feel her butt I can feel her butt cheeks clenched over here I know they're like I remember I remember saying just before I pushed my first son out I think I'll go to the mall and look for a pair of shoes oh my gosh John's like you're not going anywhere I'm like no really we can hold this off till later like then I was like you had you're into it then yeah that part i was in uh yeah and uh you both my kids were like nine pounds so it was yeah baby turkeys yeah goodness little watermelons oh my goodness long 22 inches long and i was like it's watermelon they were it they were watermelons yeah goodness and he did that just fucking just fucking shira over there i gracious i that's my ocd once my mind sets to it

i'm not changing i will not change i get it it's circling back to you did this first gig when you were 14 yeah did you jump into full-time dancing after that pretty much yeah i'm at 14 yeah yeah no one no one asked for i mean i had id that didn't say I was 14. It said I was 16. Not much better. Still. Yeah, still. And in Toronto, the clubs, and I went to the Fillmore's East at that time. So it was the same owner. But I applied there as a dancer kind of behind his back.

Right. When he found out I was dancing, he never looked at me or spoke to me again. The owner of that club. Like he literally shut me down. I guess he didn't expect whatever. And I'm like, well, the money is good. Well, I feel like men in that industry are such creeps. Misogynistic.

Right. So he probably, to you, you were a waitress, so you were innocent and you were pure. And then when you crossed over, you were just like the rest of them. Yeah. In his mind, that's how. Totally. Yeah. I had the greatest time at that club though it was yeah it was i loved dancing yeah it was so fun and but but i also was shocked some of my friends would get pregnant and they would make more money pregnant and that freaked me the hell yeah that freaked me out um there was weird shit that would go on in the booths this is before

this is before girls had to pay to work in a club i quit when i was 23 because i'm not going to pay to work in a club like yeah it's work why am i paying you like the house fee yeah so we didn't have that when i did it but we did tip the dj at the end of the night because he removed whatever was wrong with your body with lighting, the importance of lighting. So he would do that, but we didn't have to pay the clubs. Like they were looking for girls. There was such a stigma to it. So we got paid quite a bit, which was really good. And I traveled from here and I went to Florida. So I worked Toronto, California, Florida. And it was a shock when I came to LA because the clubs where liquor was served were all, I mean, were sorry, all nude was just beer. And then full nude was no alcohol, but Toronto,

it was like anything goes like huge clubs, everybody's drunk and God knows what. And this is where I drew my conclusion that most men are gay because they would come into the clubs and they they had their young men friends with them but they had their rings on and they're so I saw so much of that it really jaded me like I was a jaded bitch after that trust me I'm gonna my next book that's gonna come out after this book that's my my life story I've already decided I'm gonna call it little black book oh and it's literally gonna be just everything about dancing and escorting and everything. See, I didn't quite do the escorting a couple of times, but I could never show up on time. That's why you're an hour early today.

I'm like, for Bunny, I'm showing up. I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm like, I will be there. Well, first of all, the time said central time. So I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, what if I make a mistake and it's not really central. And so I'm like, I'm checking with, I'm calling John. I'm like, it's central time. What is it this time? He's like, stop calling me. I'm so sorry. It's a two hour difference. Yeah, no, it's two. I have to look it up though. Cause my mind will go off running and then you'll be like, where is she?

But it was so fun. No, I'm glad I got here got here I'd rather be early but at that time I was so like ADD that I couldn't commit I could barely get to a club you know like I could barely get there all over the place yeah no I was just very much on the go like I still carry I still I traveled like that I still travel like that I'm here there and everywhere so it was hard and the dancing was easy because I do one set. And at the time in Toronto, we had to go on stage for three songs, clothes, underwear, nothing, right? And you could table dance. Do you remember when you had to carry the things on your head? No. Oh yeah. Okay. We had like boxes. They did not have, you could dance in the horseshoe, but for people at regular tables, just like this, we had like boxes.

So you'd go, the guide by a dance, you go pick a box up and stand there and dance in front of them on the little box in your heels. No, never had to do it. I said, but I,

I, everybody always says that I glamorize being in the, in sex work. And it's not that I glamorize it. I literally grew up, grew up in Vegas where fucking sex work is glamorous. Yeah. It's not,

it's not. Yes. When I was dancing dancing it was like the anna nicole's the fucking pamela anderson's the carmen electra's like it was a very taboo thing it wasn't like it is now dancing was very like taboo and you know yeah yeah yeah yeah it was for me too it was like horror if if one more man calls me that i will come that is i get that at least 10 times a day yeah that triggers the shit out of me i laugh because well now i'm like it's miss horror to you yeah but i will scratch your eyes i make it into merch i make money off yeah yeah that's smart

see i gotta learn because i get too emotional i go right into like okay no fuck yeah now now all the hate that gets thrown at you just turn it into money into what i do yeah that's what i'm gonna do now yeah dumb blonde that's how i started that's why i'm saying literally people talking shit about me i know because it's like really hair color like and that's another thing with my mom growing up she wouldn't get me barbie i had to have skipper okay something happened to her when she was yeah i could somebody made her feel less than now now and that was what she wanted to project on you but my thing is is like you go your whole entire life till you're 40 years old not having a child and then you go get one and you treat her like this yeah it was very um it was very yeah it was difficult because you have nowhere to go you have no family because once they cut you off you're cut

off in the adopted circle I will say my cousins in the adopted family were always very kind to me. So I've let cousins that are, they'd actually be second cousins because my first cousins are older because my parents were older. Um, but I have a brother that my mom and dad had after they adopted me, but he doesn't talk to me either. So, yeah, I didn't even call when my son passed, which was interesting. sounds like he's like her yeah I would bet yeah without insulting anybody right publicly so moving on you said that you stopped dancing at 23 yeah what had you already met John at that yeah I met him in a club let's bring John in yes because you and John have a long time we like I don't want to say tumultuous long oh it's tumultuous okay long tumultuous we're friends what kind of relationship do youuous. Long. Oh, it's tumultuous. Okay. Long tumultuous.

We're friends. What kind of relationship do you think it is? Do you think it's karmic? Do you think it's soulmate? Soulmate. Now, this is interesting because soulmate can be anybody. Yes. Your kid, your parents, your whoever.

It's definitely both. It's 100% karmic because, as I always tell the story story but it's true i was going to florida to work i worked in miami so i was going to florida and i came into the club in the valley it was just a topless club at that time that i was in in the in the valley a real hood rat club no offense but it was anyway i would just you know do the dance contest win and then take off because i'm so add i don't want to stick around. So I was going to give the bartender money I owed her. And I saw John at the bar facing the TV. And when I looked at his back, I kid you not. And I was with my friend. We were, he came in the club with me. I said to my friend,

I said, my little gay friend who was coming to Miami with me, I said, see that guy at the bar, I'm going to marry him. Like I knew it. And I saw one dark haired baby and one strawberry blonde on his back. So that is actually how I introduced myself to him. And he said, are you high or would you like a drink? He's like, you are right up my alley.

Yeah. I saw my children. Yeah. I saw them two boys and I saw Keith. He, Keith, he's a strawberry blonde. Well, he was a toe head at birth, like a real toe head. Beautiful hair.

Are you a natural blonde? I'm a dark dishwater blonde. OK, gotcha. Yeah. And sometimes I'll go red. Sometimes, you know, it changes. But now I love blonde. So yeah, I'm a short haired, dumb blonde.

There you go. There you go. Not so dumb blonde. Yeah, exactly. Stupid people. And I have to say it. We should put the stupid people show. Yeah. But John was there. So, exactly. Stupid people. I have to say it. We should put the stupid people show. Yeah.

But John was there. So I was on my way. I was also married to somebody else at the time. It was a four month marriage. I made a mistake. And the voice in my head when I was walking down the aisle talked outside of me and said not to get married. And I ignored it.

Yes, I did. Because we all do that. Because we think we know better. So I ignored it. I did that twice. Yeah that because we know think we know better so I ignored it I did that twice yeah did you oh yeah didn't you want to kick it before jade third time's a charm baby yeah yeah exactly I was his second marriage and he was mine but six months later I came back and I saw his friend in the bar he was not there so I said to his friend can you call your friend because he said he'd be here like I was so literal it was ridiculous and he came over and we started dating right then and we weren't really apart like

and that was it this is year 37 and we've only been divorced since October so it was I know I moved out why are you guys divorced you guys love each other I feel like so much love yeah i do love him he was annoying um john you're annoying it off after two babies and a fucking lifetime together stop being annoying you delivered the kids too i mean yeah he did he did deliver john some slack sloan i'm like oh he's so funny um he now lives in our house with uh mykids, my son, and there's no room for me right now, like literally to do my podcast. I'm down the street in my studio slash where I stay, but then I go there to see the grandbabies. I'm back and forth. I drive a lot, but which is good for my ADD. It's excellent. But what was so fascinating when I met John, this is true story,

our dads worked together and and we're both nicknamed slim okay yeah my dad was born in 1917 his dad 1912 but they work for the same company wow in the same line of work his mom her first name was Kathleen my mom's middle name was Kathleen okay and we're all from Canada and the family's so I know it's karmic. There's no way our backgrounds are very similar. What I think happened, because I can't get away from them and I will pick men that are 20 to 25 years older. And that is a sign of abuse.

Like that does come from that. However, I get their timeframe and their culture. Like I'm not current, I'm back then. So all the TV shows they grew up with, I get. How they- Your adopted parents were also older. Yeah, yeah, yeah. current I'm back then so all the tv shows they grew up with I get yeah how they your adopted parents were also older yeah yeah yeah my dad was in his 50s and my mom was 40 and then I think turning 42 when she had my brother so she got pregnant right away pretty much there's two years between us so she got pregnant on her own after she adopted probably because she was not as nervous

about never having kids you know for her and it obviously it was karma because she felt the need to do it. Right. To begin with, you know, so that was karma. So everything was kind of, my brother was a Scorpio. You know how that goes.

Rough Scorpio. I love Scorpio women, Scorpio men scare me. Yeah. They can be there. They're my husband's a Scorpio rising. He's an Aries Scorpio rising. And I'm just like, you never know. They think think he's and he's very psychic he's and see for psychics and this goes

for you too you're what i call a sensitive so you don't work professionally as a psychic it's not your profession but you operate psychically and not just once or twice you do everything psychically so that's a sensitive so you do your business through your psychic ability. So most successful people do, do that. They just don't counsel others day in and day out. Cause it's not, that's not what they're here to do. They're here to do this business, but use that insight. And John was very much like that. So I really appreciated it. And every, every step of the way he's been on my journey like like on our way here my bra broke so he drove me to Victoria's Secrets to get a replacement like on the way here in town no he he wasn't he's uh he's with the grandkids right now but I'm like we have to get a bra he

just looks at me he's like you have to catch the plane I'm like bra please so he's good like that um but if I were to say hopefully he doesn't get mad but it's it was the alcohol like it's a lifelong journey with the alcoholism or the alcohol alcoholic not not according to him okay but i feel that it's a problem so if you drink and you talk to me in a certain way when my kids are older i'm not going to listen to you it's a trigger for you yeah yeah he needs to understand yeah it's a huge in an abusive home where alcohol was he did as well like he his dad was very similar to mine you guys are opposite ends yes the spectrum though like yes he was more normal yeah well that but that and he took took it on whereas you were like absolutely

never that's how I am like I'm sober I won't do drugs I won't drink like nothing no we planned a drink uh for Mimi's birthday it's like a special occasion when is Mimi's birthday the 30th April 30th so April 28th we're gonna go out and tie one on but I have to bring my own bottles like I won't drink liquor at a bar because I don't trust it. Oh, because they spike it. Yeah. Mimi, they spike it. Yeah.

I don't trust anything. Drink out of Bunny's bottles. Literally. Yeah. So, you know, it was just two different ways of accepting. Yeah. Once I had kids, too, I think that any kind of drugs or alcohol is off the table for me. Like I get very serious.

So I'm a mom that way you know women are caretakers so we hopefully don't go down you know I didn't want my kids to see that from me yeah I'm not saying I didn't do drugs I did as a teenager but uh yeah so I finally got fed up with it but I'll tell you what I think really happened I've given it a lot of thought because he drove me batshit crazy a lot and was my best friend like he's the first person I call so it's I mean I love him yeah I just don't know what to say I did from the minute I saw him even when he's annoying and you know I put his name in the freezer yeah to block him he knows that secret yeah he used to throw his name out of the ice cube tray I used to put it in there freeze it so he wouldn't bug me. At least you didn't put him in a jar with nails and a whole bunch of spices. No, no, no, no. I wasn't trying to kill him. I was

trying to back him off a bit. None of it works actually, by the way. They're going to come forward if they want to, right? But it's funny because we were struggling when I got pregnant with Keith in our relationship and I wasn't sure I wanted another child so I asked Keith to tell me if he wanted to come through I wasn't opposed to not having the child or not you know honestly that was my mindset I wanted a career I was kind of selfish I had Jason I was good with one child even though I saw two and I really felt like Keith wanted to be born so I had him and I'm is the best thing I ever did it He was my tie to learning things that my first son taught me different things. But my Keith, he taught me really huge lessons. Obviously

he passed so huge lesson. But when I separated from John and I planned and didn't let on and then suddenly I just left. He was so mad. And yet he would show up for dinner the next night. Come get me and I'm like, I'm gonna have my independence over here because I was such a young girl too, you know. But after that, it was six months later that Keith passed. So I think Keith's birth was for us to work our karma out. I think we completed that cycle. And so we can be really good friends now without having any kind of issues. Right. You know, I mean, we can have issues, but I have my own place. Right. So bye. So I feel like John's going to just be in your life.

Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. And it's, I know you say a lot on your podcast, because me and John were talking about this, how people don't know how you're with Jay, because it looks like it should not be according to them and their judgmental ass selves yeah John and I were always like that because he was much older and so people people would say is that you're you're if our son is that your your grandson and your daughter it's like no I fuck him yeah I swear people people are stupid yeah no you know not not everybody but there would just be random so we always looked not when he was younger but we always looked kind of now when you see us because he's he's at that different stage in life he just turned 78 so yeah and uh he still can get you

though if he wants to so i'll give him that but it's funny your friends are your friends and it's timeless like whoever you love is who you love there is no path for that I always tell everybody when I met Jay it was literally like my soul was like there you are yeah like I recognized him and I had known him in every other life too and we have had the craziest relationship but like that dude is my best friend he's my John he's yeah my best friend literally even when i'm freaking mad at him like i could just put a fork in his forehead which i tell him i'm drive there and stick one in your forehead oh don't be hurting john yeah damn it you'll love that you're saying that um but it's

funny because he is my best friend like everything that i've ever done my work he's always there like and he can bug me while i'm doing my work. But he's still always there to pick it up. And he's really good. Our little granddaughter loves the shit out of him. She looks at him like she knows him from somewhere. It's the strangest. She's friends with me. But wherever he goes in the room, she's like, it's so funny.

She just loves him. Yeah. She just sees him. And she checks for him. Like her little head pops out of your arm looking for him. Oh my goodness. It's the cutest. So let's talk about your kids.

Yes. Because those are your light. And you have said numerous times during this podcast that you came here to be a mom. I did. I didn't know it, but I did. Yeah. Let's talk about it. Oh my God.

Take me on that journey. I loved being pregnant with Jason. Loved it. Like loved it. I was like, look, I'm, I gained 197 pounds. I really did. I bet you were so cute though. Cause you're so tiny. No, no, I was a beast. It's like a wildebeest out there. But, um, my stepson called me a blueberry because I wore blue overalls and I was so huge. Like, I mean, my belly was like, it was hideous, but I mean, cute. It was Jason. And I

just absolutely, I loved breastfeeding. I breastfed for two years and, and we, we co-shared the bed. The kids didn't have their own beds, you know, they, they did, but I brought them all in the bed with me and my son does the same. So it's kind of cute. Um, they all co-sleep, co-sleep, I think is what they called it. We just called it chair in the bed. But I just, it was the best experience of my life. It changed me so much. It changed me. It just, it was incredible.

And then you become this like even more paranoid OCD person with kids. You're like, you know, you realize you're responsible for them. Mimi's laughing over there. You're just like, no babysitters I made that's how she is yeah yeah family members only my mother-in-law my mother-in-law was on set you remember psychic friends network back in the day so we did my client reenactments that the show did Linda Georgian was a friend of mine and Dionne Warwick was the host that's the only way they put it on in the air but my mother-in-law would be in the green room and hold Jason and I'd

breastfeed in between takes and hold Jason and I'd breastfeed in between takes and come back. Yeah, I dragged her everywhere with me and she did it willingly. So yeah, it was the best. And when I got pregnant with Keith, it was, Jason was so lovely. And I was kind of mad when I got pregnant again, because it went so quick, that first two and a half years that I'm like, oh no, there's another baby coming. I don't, you know, like now I can't give to Jason because I'm now going to have two. So I was kind of mad at first, which was weird. And then I got into the pregnancy and both my kids told me their names at ultrasounds at six months. So I wanted to name both of them Matthew. Like I had that in my head. They're going to be Matthew something, right? I don't know why.

I just like the name. So with Jason, I heard Jason. So at six and a half months, I'm like, he's Jason. And then with Keith, I heard Keith. John's like, who do you know named Keith? I'm like, nobody. You're like Keith Richards. Yeah.

He's born on the same day as my son. Oh, December 18th. Yes. Oh my gosh. Good hit. That's crazy. Yeah, Keith Richards. it's he's born on the same day as my son oh December 18th yes oh my god good hit that's crazy yeah Keith Richards um Keith he was not like Keith but he could have been maybe I guess um but yeah when I got pregnant with Keith it was so different because that was an extraordinary thing when when I gave birth to Jason I flew out of my body. I was pushing. They said push. My mother, birth mother was there and she had a mirror. She's like, look, you can see. I'm like, I don't care.

You know, my head's spinning around. And so John was there and he was holding me up and, and I'm push, push, push. And I'm thinking to myself, this is actually hell. I need to get, I told John, go down the street get that kid he used to play baseball I said he sells drugs find him no give me the drugs but it's too late at that point anyway I flew right out of my body and suddenly I was looking above myself and I saw Jason who hadn't even come out at age 19 handing John a little girl and she was hispanic mixed and i a baby girl and she had wavy hair and she was a little toddler and he was hand like handing her over like it was over my body but i'm watching it john's over there and i knew it was his granddaughter that's our

first granddaughter baby lila and i saw her when i saw, oh, my God, there she is. She's here. And I described her. John's like, that's weird. It was like the absolute description because it wasn't anybody we thought who it would be with and this, that, and the other. And with Keith, I was screaming as my legs were up. And I was in the jacuzzi. And something told me to get out of the jacuzzi because it didn't feel right so John's like don't push don't push and I'm like why the midwife was on her way it was almost to be Christmas and he's like the head is purple I'm like so meanwhile the midwife gets

there John actually did this I got to give him kudos for this he pushed Keith's head back inside yes for the love of God I yes no seriously I couldn't even feel it though because I was so like what's happening right I was just like you're but for him to even be able to do that he did it he jumped right that's one thing about him he's really good at that like if you're having an emergency he will stop and help you yeah and he doesn't care you can't leave this man no it's been all up in your hoo-ha literally with his literally felt like a mac truck after but he keith was tangled down here and under here john untangled him the midwife came in and so turned me and then keith was delivered but then he had to go to the hospital and this isn't even funnier story but not so i'm there and i'm i don't have any clothes that'll fit so

i'm wearing john's pants and i said you stay with jason i'm getting in the ambulance with keithy keithy went and our doctor was heidi fleiss's dad oh who was doing the movie and in trouble for tax evasion at the time so they banned him from the hospital oh no so then the hospital called social services on us for having a home birth and all of that shit and little keithy had to stay there one week they want to make sure he was okay because he got strangled coming out but he was fine and he was nine just over nine pounds and he was in with the little like drug babies that were the size of your hand it was I was like like little like not even a pound babies and that blew my

mind but I was still like really angry that my Keithie was in there so I go to anger first always I'm like how the fuck you want to get my kid out of here yeah and so Keithie came home and he was just so cute and that changed my life too. But when I got pregnant with Keith going back, I'm always going backwards. That's, I have a lot of cancer planets. We do that. We go forward and then we look back.

Astrology lesson. Yeah. But when I got pregnant with Keith. That explains why you say that you came here to be a mother because cancer represents mother. Yeah. Like mom. Yeah.

I just absolutely, it was was I'm not saying I was the best I would chase those kids ask Jason like I my oldest son when he was being bad I parked my car kicked my shoes off and tackle him on the street like I was that bitch that's how I would be like that bitch you know people are like your mom it's like you were not going off with that kid I fucking told you no yeah and you know no I wanted your mom it's like you were not going off with that kid I fucking told you no yeah and you know no I wanted them to stay away from drugs obviously obvious who you know who wants their kids on drugs said no one but when I got pregnant I it was St. Patrick's Day and I'd gone down and gotten I felt like having sex and John was with his friends so I

went down to the was known as a bicycle club in Burbank and I dragged him away from his friends. So I went down to the, it was known as a bicycle club in Burbank. And I dragged him away from his friends for a quickie on the living room floor. And I literally heard ping. It was like, ping, you're pregnant. And I just remember him saying, I am not out of the room. And I was pregnant. We couldn't know then, right? And then I tell the story, but I really heard one's coming and one's going. So I didn't quite know what it meant. But when I looked up when Keithy would be born and it was a Sag, I knew it was his brother, Jimmy. So I didn't know the timeline, but that was my first hit that Jimmy was going to pass. And that was the stepson. Yeah. He was, um, that devastated me like, because I saw it. And as a psychic person, when you get that information, it's almost like you feel you're causing it. But it's not that. You're getting the strand of information first and you can feel it.

And it's so, it blew my mind. It fractured me. I was not normal after. Like I had a psychotic break. Like, that's what they said. I went to the hospital and ran away from the hospital because I thought the doctor was an escapemental patient. I mean, I was out of my mind. Like, I was just like, I'm not staying.

Goodbye. Yeah, gotta go. Because the voices in my head, like, now they were messing with me because I was so... When Jimmy died it it um shattered me like glass and John as well I'll never forget it but as we got closer to the time frame I had the conversation with him because I kept hearing the voices so I thought I'll go to his work and just jokingly sit down with him because he we learned while I was pregnant he had a drug problem we did not know that I mean maybe his sister did but I did not know that other than weed I mean whatever but nothing serious

and he started doing the overdosing thing and this and that and he did not look like it he was extremely good looking okay and tall and healthy looking and damn you know so he didn't look like he was destroying himself if that makes sense and I went to John's work. He was working with John at that time. And I sat down with him and on his lunch break, he'd always tan out in the parking lot. So I was sitting with him and I'm like, you know, how do you want, how do you want to be buried? And he's like traditional Catholic. And he just answers that. Yeah. He just like, no, he was a double sad. She was the best. He was December 9th and he had a Pisces moon, though. Sweet little Pisces moon.

Really sad for this planet. Too sensitive for the planet. How do Pisces mean us? Yeah, the nicest. The nicest person. The nicest, kindest person. Pisces always is. And they take care of everything and everybody.

But it will destroy them, too. So mentally for him. But anyway, he told me he'd just gone to a wedding and he was wearing his dad's um tie which was the one that john wore to our wedding so he said yeah i'll wear that tie and this that and the other so you know up then i was after keith was born i thought we were safe again this is my thinking i can control or that i understand and i did not they're going to teach you a lesson psychically every single time but it was Keithy took his first steps on the day his on the day his brother died so my son walked and our other son which would be John's son

passed on that day and it just so drug overdose yep at John's work and I just I I heard the phone call coming in and I walked out the front door because I knew I was told it would be by Halloween and this was October 9th and it I can't even describe it I was not normal neither was obviously John and poor Keithy was 10 months old so he never knew he went through so much and that was my first, I remember looking at the body in the funeral. It's not funny, but in the funeral home. And we have already established that you laugh when you're uncomfortable. It was so, I almost knocked all the flowers over. Like I couldn't get out of the room fast enough. And I was like, they didn't brush his hair. Right. He had long hair. He used to wear it in a ponytail. And I was like, his wrong but of course you're dead so your hair is wrong like you're dead and um it was so traumatic for me and I had postpartum too

so I had those two things and poor John he had to get up and go to work like he was supporting us at that time because I had stopped working pregnant with Keith and was looking after Jason and so he was a sole supporter so he had to go back to work and the thing about the grief that I found so interesting is people would call me from his work like he'd forward the phones and I'd answer and they're like yeah how's Jimmy John told me he was you know getting lunch when I stopped by and I'm like he's actually dead like he would not say it no for like a good he was he wouldn't say it I mean people knew obviously people who knew us but he wouldn't say it and poor Jason was three and loved his brother before my Keithy came it was Jimmy who showed

himself on my podcast and so I jokingly thought like is he her first dad because we were fighting at the time I'm like how about somebody else in the family never occurred to me that he he crossed my son over so he came to let me know I always saw Jimmy he showed me how he died much different than with Keith and with when Keith passed when I got that call from my other son Jason who did not know he was dead he just said his exact words 1 30 is it okay to say this we should be talking yeah you asked about the kids so I'm talking about it but when Jace called me I just finished working and he never called he used to text so I picked up for that reason you know how these kids are they don't want to talk to you yeah I've tried to get our kid on the phone all the time yeah don't text me call me yeah they don't like that yeah the 30 year olds don't either yeah um 31 anyway he called

me and he said keith hit the floor and i'm like he fell down the stairs like i didn't understand the motorcycle conversation and i said what are you talking about he said the motorcycle and i said where what hospital i went right to that. He said, Chatsworth. I said, where DeSoto. So I'm on the phone.

I have had a best friend. So did he know, or was he envisioning this? No, no, no. Somebody had called him. Gotcha.

And said, your brother was in an accident. I heard from George, because Keith had gone out to get the motorcycle. John had COVID at the time, was really sick. George and Keith went out to get Keith's bike, because it had been in the shop. really sick george and keith went out to get keith's bike because it'd been in the shop so george was driving shout out to george a scorpio

there you go yeah he's a november 4th scorpio anyway one of keith's friends he was driving keithy's car and keith was riding the bike home and they were going to the gym after that like like my kids do yeah and uh so george did not have my phone number or Jason so he called our other neighbor David David called Jason so that's how I found out and then said call your mom tell her whatever but he didn't know he was dead so David drove out before we got there and then the police told David what happened and he called Jason but I did not get that call but I knew I went complete the the I went numb I don't have feeling I laugh you could punch me I don't have feelings now I don't feel anxiety like you know how it takes over your body I don't feel that anymore but I know I have

it right mentally intellectually but I feel nothing physically so I of course of course, went to anger, but I drove down the street. I was calling the police and they wouldn't tell me. So then David called me and sent me a pin to where Keith was. And I said, you need to tell me, is my son dead? And he wouldn't answer. So I started screaming at him, you killed him. Like I just went right nuts on him, the poor kid. He hung up on me, ignored me, thank God, but he didn't want to tell me. That's what he said later. He goes, I just didn't want to say it. You were driving thank god but he didn't want to tell me that's what he said later he goes I just didn't want to say it you were driving so I just didn't want to say it so I was on the I was on it's funny I'd been on a group text shout out to Carol and she had said let's I had said let's steal the bikes and she was going to put them in her garage and I didn't

follow through because I called John and he said they'll just get insurance money and buy faster bikes right so and I didn't even know Keith had a bike until two weeks before he passed because I wasn't living in that house and they shut the garage on me till I walked up on it one day I saw Jason's bike and then I saw a blue one and I'm like whose is that because I know Jason I have the same thing with motorcycles I will not let my husband have one no no the drivers no this lady just I have the video from a neighbor thank god I had to do all the work though and the police thought I was crazy you're a crazy mom who loves your son yeah that's it I just remember pulling up and I saw the tarp and I went completely nuts they would not let me go near the body. I didn't care.

I don't care what position my son's in. He's my son. I'm here to clean his life up and bring him in. Like that's my job. And I'll tell you something. I think of it, it's to all the mothers that have lost. I hope I don't cry. Anyway, to all the mothers who've lost kids.

It makes me, it's a full moon. I'm going nuts, but it's okay. It's okay to hurt. This is a, yeah, it's very full moon i'm going nuts but it's okay it's um it's okay to hurt this is a yeah it's very painful but obviously but to all the mothers it's a great honor to finish your child's life i learned that because i cleaned up and had help from so many people who helped me clean up my son's life um i felt like i had to like he was not finished and so I felt like I would do everything find out everything make sure all his friends knew how important they were to him and do things in his honor that's how I looked at it now that was it was um

it blew my mind I was just like and I just couldn't understand like people like the police were there I couldn't understand what they were saying I was like what the fuck are you saying and I could see him and it's funny the first person I texted was his ex-girlfriend they were not together her name is Paige I love her dearly I texted her I sent her a picture from across the street don't ask me why I did that she was with her boyfriend now, and they have a one-year-old, 16-month-old child, really cute. And he said, she told me this after, he said, what's wrong? And she said, I think Keith died. So they pulled over. She had the same reaction I did, because he looked like he was sleeping. They covered him, and his little socks

were there, and they were dirty on the bottom. And was like why are his socks because he used to run around in white socks outside on the you know how men are they just go out and she had the same same comment i just felt the urge to send her that i don't know i just had that reaction and she was breathing yeah she would and then jason pulled up he reacted the same way i did he ran out of the car it took three police to hold him back because he was going to fight them he's like his mother that way when he's a guy and mckenna was there my lovely little makeup artist daughter-in-law and she was there and i just watched her she kind of slid onto the ground she's a pisces she just kind of hit the ground and jason just ran like he was a quarterback like trying to get to his brother and they had to like you know

push him like that and so it was unbelievably traumatic i just changed the whole mood of the room but it was no that's okay it was so traumatic to me that I don't even know how to describe it like John didn't get out there to I just and I remember calling him as I was driving up and I told him to shut up because he started crying like a wounded animal not crying wailing the word is wailing I couldn't handle it shut up click and um he couldn't come because he was too sick he had a fever and all of that but I just seeing it just blew my like it just blew my mind and so we waited you wait obviously till the coroner gets there because they have to do what they do and I was uh George had gone George because the police he took Keith's car his family took Keith's car to John's and when the coroner put Keithy on the stretcher his eyes were half open like that's what happens when you die and his mouth was open so I I was above his head and his feet were this way

and Jason was behind me in the corner and I sniffed for him I I wanted to smell him. He was not there. I sniffed his mouth. I looked at, I was like a nut. I looked at his eyes. I had to take it all in because that's how I am. I have to find out everything, but I had to look at him.

I had to see. I didn't have panic at the time. I was just numb, but I could not smell him. He was gone. Like he was out of the vicinity. Now I'm going to tell a really interesting thing after that the next day my Jason was coming home from the gym in Burbank

or wherever he was but I think it was a gym a lady hit him on his motorbike so I was in the emergency room with him she ran over his right didn't break anything but ran over the right side of his leg and wouldn't get off. She was wearing a mask and an older lady and the lady behind her had to bang, bang, bang and then help Jason. The day after that, Jason says he doesn't remember, but Kenna does remember. So Jason, anyway, said he had like a vision in our house and he saw Keith come in with his helmet on go upstairs like he did and he turned to his dad and John said to him in this vision this wasn't really happening this is what Jason saw and he said doesn't doesn't he know he's dead and John said don't tell him

he'll stay longer which would be exactly what he would say. And so Jason said they sat there and Keith came downstairs, sat on our table. We have a low table and lounge table and he sat on it. And Jason and John and him were talking in this vision. And then Jason couldn't stand it anymore. And he said, bro, you died on a motorcycle. You're dead. And he said, Keith looked at him and said, I'm not dead. And they they did what guys do.

They stood up and these two would you know how guys are. They fight like with their chests and stuff. And Jason said he like chest bumped him energetically and then got so mad he swooshed out of the room so technically Jason told a piece of Keith's soul that's a great illustration because he helped his brother leave like at least understand part of that because part we split into different energies when we pass part of his energy went one way but part came home because he wasn't sure because we're not contained see so jason actually did that jason has been a good medium since he was a kid he's actually better than i am but he will never admit it and will ignore this conversation for me saying that. And then that night I slept in Keith's bed and I felt him.

Kenna came in the room. Keithy's cat was there, Tulip. And I felt Keith come through me. But he was, it's fragmented. I knew he was hugging me, but his energy was all over me. And yet he was hugging me. It wasn't like I hug you. It's kind of like a tornado yeah

like like like the static on a tv for like you walk through that and how that would feel it was like that but i knew it was him i slept in his bed and i just said to john i'm gonna sleep in his bed and i went so that i could smell him because i couldn't smell him and that made me he had a very distinct my kids i could you, you can smell your children. Even with cologne on, you can smell them. And when was this? When did this happen? 2020, July 29, 2020. Yeah.

But Keith, Keith, I have to show you the picture. He manifested on my live stream because I kept saying I can't feel him. I did. I felt him move through me and I felt him when I was preparing. His friends prepared the most beautiful send off and celebration. We did the service in the park, guerrilla style because it was COVID. So like 60 people came in the park where he would work out during COVID. The funeral home took his body across the street because there were no nobody was allowed to view.

I threw a tantrum and said, I'm bringing him home if we can't and so they moved him to a different area we signed waivers and everybody was at once was able to see him and I was quite fine looking at his body because I knew he wasn't there so it was very different than when his brother died because something in me thought he was still in there but when I looked at Keith he looked like my Keithy skinnier because you, you lose your volume, but it wasn't like, he's not there. Do you think it's because you had that maternal attachment to him that you feel that as opposed to with Jimmy? Yeah. Oh, definitely. Yeah. I just knew he wasn't there. So, um, I, I looked at the body and I, I actually took pictures of him so that I would remember it. And it looks like him sleeping like a little angel so they could not put clothes on him because his body was damaged

tremendously from the motorcycle so they wrapped him and he looked like a little mummy it was so cute his little face was really cute so I saw that and he manifested I think it was Elvis's birthday somebody emailed me the other night. I was talking about this. So I have like your sets, like a couch that was behind me and it had a blue throw on it. It was in my other studio and they're, they're all crying over here. It made me cry too. I am. I'm sorry. No, don't apologize for being vulnerable. It's yeah. It's the, it, the one way to get at me is to say something about my kids. I will. Yeah. Or to, you know, like negative, I mean, but, um, Keithy came through.

So I was sitting, so I sit at, at the kitchen table. The only thing I took in the divorce was my kitchen table where my kids sat. That's like, I lug a huge, big, fat, thick ass kitchen table around. Cause I'm like my husband, he's obsessed with our kitchen tables for some reason. Yeah. Cause people sit there and talk. That's it. So my camera's on that and my little, so I had it there and the two chairs were behind me and people started going, look, look what's happening behind you.

So I turn, I can't see anything cause the lights in my face and I don't see anything. They're like, there's the face, there's the face. And I'm like, I'm live streaming so I can hear them. I mean, see the thing. And I'm like, oh, it's got to be Jim Morrison. I'm screwing around. I have a picture. It's Keith's profile from his picture. Someone took a picture of me with it behind it and attached Keith's face beside it to show like he manifests, he manifests all the time. So I get get comfort in that although I'll tell you as a medium who's lived through this I still want my son here there is nothing you can tell a mother or a person who's lost somebody that makes them feel better so I don't even think I make people

feel better when I tell them if I tell them I because I miss my son better when I tell them, if I tell them I, because I miss my son. So you can tell me stuff. It doesn't matter. I want my Keith here. I think your soul is always going to ache for him. Yeah. I think that's, that's what I'm that that's what I do. So, but it has brought me so many lovely people who so many people reached out. Oh my God, I was dying. Like I, and so many people people i shout out to the my friend bobby who keith came to her and she painted his picture and then she was a pi and she found every witness so and set up everything i needed to take to court you know to try and figure out what happened she did it and she literally said was it a hit and run it was like my friend Stacy who is a police of Los Angeles said it it caused the accident like if you're on the side they didn't hit him but they pulled into his lane

cause it was DeSoto so six lanes going one way going the other way and Keithy was going to the freeway he was in the closest to oncoming traffic The lady pulled to turn left and she went out like this, which caused him to move into the middle lane. And I have him on the bike. He's upright and fine, like nothing is showing. And then two houses later, he hits a mailbox that the person cemented into the ground and it all catapults him and cuts basically his, this artery here. And so he was dead. And people kept saying kept saying oh your son was doing a wheelie no we hit the mailbox and when it cut him because it was

metal and cemented when it cut him that's a death grip like that yeah that's what that is and then he hit a telephone pole and you'll love not love that but he landed outside a buddhist temple oh my gosh and so the monks were praying for him oh my god when i got there which i liked yeah because my keithy like would like that so i was very happy that people they went they told me they took me over there when i got there and they told me they were praying for him and they were chant you could hear them chanting so he passed right outside of there and it was actually under a really beautiful tree. It's very odd. But I tried to observe everything about it, like every single element,

so that I know what I saw. To understand it. Yeah, I had to. To try to make sense of it. Absolutely. I petitioned the court for three years and finally got all the police video cam. So I saw every aspect of the damage done to my son. All the video. Now I can look at it. John does not want to look at it. Jason and I can look at it. But I had to look at witnesses and how they responded and people around and I had to know. And I can actually hear

through the video. He's friend David on the phone, the police are telling him and he's crying. And I can hear Jason screaming at him through the phone. And I can hear him say, bro, why would I lie? Your brother's dead. Like I can hear that conversation. So it's fascinating. It put everything into order for me. So I can see how it drives people crazy when they don't know, you know, what happened or they can't see it. So I advise people to get as much information as much as you can get, because even though you don't want to know it, it may help you understand a series of events at which will then help you process it. Absolutely. That's what I feel. No, I'm the same way. I want to know every aspect of every situation so that I can either one,

come to some sort of closure in my own life or just know it's just something about being an information junkie. I have to know everything you need to know yeah that's that's the same with me I needed to know and then I needed to abdicate for my son and I needed to I throw parties to celebrate his transition which is his birthday on the other side that's how I choose to see it so I put a bench up in the park that's what we decided to do as a family where he exercised so I decorate it on the day he passed and we have beer and pizza parties and on his birthday we let off firecrackers the neighbors call the police but we do it every year so that's what we do and

his friends come and they always you know I get invited to all the baby showers so I go as him if that makes sense yeah absolutely for every single one of his friends and all the little kids and it's it's it's a nice therapeutic for you too yeah yeah oh no it's really great to watch these kids i wish i know he knows meadow that's my little granddaughter i know he knows her yeah yeah and my my other granddaughter did part of the eulogy at his funeral she was eight she stood up she wanted to oh my goodness yeah she did really brave because I didn't want to stand up so she did yeah really brave well I'm thank you for sharing that with us god I just your audience is like whoa no they love this what

do you mean yeah it's before we get in segue into our next um chapter of this can I pee really quick sorry we're getting our lives together, Sloan. Yeah, I'm getting mine together. I dressed. I'm like, I'm so excited. I arrived here dressed like a sane person. Sometimes I think I'm going to look cute for somebody. And then I'm like, just stick with what you know works.

You look beautiful. You are gorgeous. We all, all of us are gorgeous. Everybody's gorgeous. They really are. But we don't see it that way because we believe bullshit I do and you know what a lot of people are always like why is bunny nice to these people like I was on what somebody sent me a bunch of screenshots today from this um group that's on a website that fucking just does nothing but talk shit about people and they were like bunny is always just so nice to people who have mental illness and I'm like

am I supposed to judge them am i supposed to make them feel terrible about themselves like that's not that's not what i'm here for i'm here to love people and put a smile on their face and correct make them feel good about themselves that's an ignorant comment it's so fucking weird you would not believe the shit i have to deal with online it's crazy i get i get the yeah that one woman my PI was messaging me going I think this is her page she's sending it to me while I'm here and I'm like she's like you can tell she killed her son and oh my goodness to be famous I'm like lady I had no like in my head but you can't fight them back yeah because they tried to say that about us my mom died

before an award show yeah and they tried to say oh was us my mom died before an award show yeah and they tried to say oh was bunny's mom a sacrifice um and that's why jay won all the awards and i'm like my mom yeah like nobody wants her like love you mom but no but that's not sacrificial lamb material that's you know like not happening no it's it it just it's weird and then they say things like you talked it and no that that's how i work that's what claire And then they say things like you talked it. And no, that's how I work. That's what Claire audience is. You say things and it actually happens. Yeah.

So it was just horrible. See, so mine's the opposite. I have visions. And if I don't say anything, it will happen. But if I do, sometimes it like changes the trajectory of it. It's really weird. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, it's really weird. I tell them that all the time.

I'm like, I have to tell you this because if I tell you it, then it won't happen. Okay. Yeah, that's that could be also your OCD. Yeah, making the deals, making the deals. But I know with me when I call it psychic Tourette's, if I keep hearing it enough, I have to say it, or it just eats me. And I wanted to warn both my boys. And I didn't know which one I my best friend was a psychic. And I went to her and I said, tell me which one of my fucking kids is dying. And she's like, I can see the chaos. I can see the lady. And it was a lady that pulled that.

We just found her. It's taken me four years to find her. We just, I put her face everywhere online. I got it off the, would never know who she was, but I got it off the police footage. That's why I knew I had to get it. So now we're tracking her this week. My PI is going to call her.

And then you can put, you can press charges. Well, she's going to have to say why she didn't stop. she's all over my son's body an hour before i got there i have it on police or they didn't get her name nothing she's oh she stopped and then yeah she stopped there look her and her whoever she was with they're looking for shit all over the ground and i'm like it and and then they're talking shit they're talking shit about george's family i have it on tape like i got the police footage. I had to subpoena myself. I had to research how to do that.

Wow. Took me 18 tries. But I kept going into court, getting a subpoena. I've been going down there and they're like, denied. And I'm like, you motherfuckers, I'm going back. But I did it because I knew I had to see something on the footage. And it's actually the one of our witnesses described her and said, oh, no, she talked to the police and they didn't think anything of it. he died six months after that from a fentanyl overdose and so but

he described her so when i saw her on the video i'm like bingo wow yeah i have him on tape so i taped everybody yeah it yeah yeah poor kid was jason's age anyway fentanyl and he was just i felt bad he didn't stop because he said he was smoking weed when he was driving up the street. He didn't want to get busted, but he did report her. And then I can see her everywhere. She's all over the body and the police says, what's your name, ma'am?

And she's like, oh, I'm praying. And she pretends to pray. I want, yeah, I want to kick the shit out of her. Wow, and that is horrific. I watched it and they wouldn't let me. I would never be able to live with that. To go home and sleep. You're not a good person.

To go home and go to bed and know that you fucking killed somebody and you acted like you were praying over them. That's disgusting. She didn't hit him. She pulled out. Right. She obviously knew she did something wrong. She was investigating his body. Then she went to help George.

She got water. So I asked George's mom, do you know this woman? And she oh, that's the nice lady that brought him water. Talking shit to the cops on her way. Oh, that kid comes from a shitty family. And then she's like, oh, yeah, the mother. She's a tall blonde. I'm not tall.

I'm five, six. I'm average. And I mean, and then she's like, the father's older. And then the kid in the car is like, he's like 80. I'm like, how do you know who I am like they they obviously went on I I don't know but they badmouth George and all kinds of shit and poor George was so traumatized because he was what he went sat with Keith but anyway it was so but now I have her name so my PI is texting well you got to keep me updated on that and once you you, you know, pursue it and everything, come back on the podcast. Yeah, and we're definitely doing that.

I mean. Hell hath no fury like a mama scorned, man. Let me tell you. No, this is Keith right here. This. He would hate it, but I hacked, hijacked his phone. No. And hacked into it.

And that's the last picture he had up. But he was six foot four and darling cute. Such a cute little blonde, green eyed, sweet child. Sounds like my type. Yeah. He would love him. He was so cute. And he would have loved you.

He'd have been so excited because you're her husband. He would have loved that. Oh, I love that. His best friend's mom texted me. Oh, my God. Keith would have loved Jelly Roll's music. No. Yeah.

I love that. So speaking of speaking of jelly roll yes you know my husband is obsessed with you and he has just been since last night just hammering me with please ask her these questions please i need answers and like he just really doesn't he has answers but he's just being kind he doesn't know he doesn't trust anybody you know you and tyler henry are like the only two that he trusts. Actually, like, you know, please. And then so I made the mistake of I just never want to ever overstay my welcome with people's gifts, you know, and I just feel like it's it's a gift.

And, you know, like, I don't ever want to intrude. So with Tyler, I didn't really go in depth and I didn't intrude. And he was just, Jay was like, what do you mean? You had him for two hours and you didn't ask him a fucking thing. And I'm like, well, not really. Um, so we will do the complete opposite and I will try to ask you some questions and, but you, so you pulled up our birth charts. Yes. Okay, cool. So you did our birth charts and I'm curious to hear about all this let's go ahead and okay well this is super interesting I'm gonna tell you something super interesting about your man first okay I'll go back to you're the host I should talk about you no talk about daddy since we just talked to daddy

and he said don't forget me we're not forgetting you daddy can I call him daddy yes everybody calls him daddy role okay yeah so the first thing I noticed with him in this life, and I'm going to say it straight out, no matter what he did, whether he's a singer, construction worker, I don't care what he did. In this life, he was never going to be handed anything. His life is about building it for himself from his own constitution. So he wasn't going to, even if he was born into a Hilton family, he was never going to inherit that money because for some reason, the karma in this life is you must do for yourself. It's about getting to know yourself in this life. His chart is totally set up for music, but here's the issue everybody got an issue in astrology yeah okay because he's a

sag rising okay so that's fantastic yeah it's cute but he has Neptune on the ascendant which is musical sun and Uranus in the 12th house he actually channels the music he writes so it comes to him in clairaudient form so he understands what I'm saying because he hears the wording and puts it to paper aka his notes. A.K.A. automatic writing. Okay. That's what we call some people write like this when they're when they're giving readings because it's automatic writing. So he could technically do that. He guides it towards music now because Neptune, which is your Venus's ruling planet. Okay. Because Venus is in Pisces. Because Neptune is up there on his ascendant he

has no clear vision of himself so i'm going to just word it this way i know he's extremely sensitive so let me word it this way anything about him in a physical sense he does not see himself in that way whoever and however he shows up i don't care if he shows up like looking whatever versus how he looks now whatever people people think. This does not matter to him because he it changes for him when he sees himself. Obviously, he can look at himself, he knows who he is, because he's, you know, gone by a mirror, like we all do. But I'm talking, spiritually speaking, he does not see himself. So he is a chameleon in the way he moves. Now, he seems when I look at him,

I could pretty much say, yeah, I recognize the look. Okay. I can see what he'd wear. I get all of that. However, on a spiritual level, that's not. He switches internally. Therefore, that's why his physical isn't important to him. It has to be pointed out to him. Now that's interesting because your chart is all about learning how to take care of self in this life in a physical way. So he would almost call you in to help him do that because it doesn't mean anything to him. And not because of anything he is or isn't, he could be the version of the perfect version of health right now, according to the public, because I know what the public says about everybody. Yeah, they're a bunch of bitches. Yeah, just shut the hell up. You know, it's always like, Oh, you have blonde hair. Really? I never knew that about myself.

Yeah, you know, you're thanks, Captain Obvious. Yeah, that's what I say all the time, whatever. But he doesn't see himself. So when you look at a chart, and you see that Neptune there, see himself. So when you look at a chart and you see that Neptune there, you understand, oh, this makes sense. This makes perfect sense. If he were too focused on self, he wouldn't be able to accomplish his goal. So he's come from a direct past life where the focus has been on just self, like whatever that means. I don't quite know what that means, but self. So he wasn't able to do the other things he wanted to do. And this is like a cycle of three for him in but self. So he wasn't able to do the other things he wanted to do. And this is like a cycle of three for him in this lifetime. So he's accomplished it. And I'm going to tell you something else. I'm going to go out on a limb and do one of my predictions. Okay.

So within the next eight years, he's in another career. So the music thing is not where he's staying. Please don't say politics because that's what it's leading towards. Okay. Well, it's eight years from now and the music is not what he's doing it's so clear he's he's complete okay when we come in you know how they say we have a purpose in a life and we have a goal okay mine was about my children yours is to come through childhood and teach others through your candor and humor and truth and all of that and you're doing it his was to sing publicly but he's finishing that from the most recent past life which ended suddenly now this is even stranger it ended because okay his wiring internally so electrical system heart is very sensitive

so that's what happened in the past life he carries it into this life that's the only reason you need to watch what he does. Because like, let's say he did a drug like speed. I'm just making that up. I'm saying, oh, what if? Don't go trolling us. But if he was to do something that quickened the body, this would be problematic for him

because he's wired that way from the past life. Okay, so there was an issue. He carries that with him. So the music had to come to clear that. It's weird, but I saw that when I was looking at his chart, okay? And so he he has another career it's about eight years from now so this is 2024 jump ahead eight years and i think actually within five he'll stop it this music because as much as he's brilliant at the music it's not actually what he wants i don't know if he tells

the philanthropist at heart okay yeah it's not actually what he wants so when it's not i'm not saying it's bad we're not saying that we're not saying that daddy but it's not what he wants so he's focused in a different direction that's what his soul has to do very powerful chart led by spirit the rulership of the neptune in the first house is placed in the 12th of past life so the first half of this life is completing that life you see yeah some people have just one life some people have three in one life like there's three distinct karmic breaks you can see it in hand reading with people too i'm not good at that but palm reading yeah you can see where their life stops and starts and then it's a whole like they go left totally different

he has that in this life so he will never you think you're rebellious he will never be confined by what oh yeah i say that about that's why not to cut you off yeah everybody says oh bunny's his handler i'm like do you think i can ever handle this man no no no fucking way oh do you get the handler conversation yeah okay shut the fuck up yeah i'm his handler i'm like you guys must not know my no no I can see it in the chart I can see a chart charts never lie so when I look at a chart and then I pick it up psychically I'm like shut up you're not telling that man shit yeah no no daddy wears the pants I control the zipper yeah that's it that's why they're calling you the handler yeah

you have hands in a zipper yeah literally but not the way they mean it. Right. Because they're so, yeah. But it's interesting because he will never, never, never. Even if everybody says, but you're a musician, he will break that mold and say, but I'm not. I believe it 100%. Yeah, I mean, he is, but he won't stay stuck. So he will not. He's already broke so many molds within the music industry. Totally.

So I 100% can see him going somewhere else. He'll probably sing for his loved ones and people, but he will not be doing the tour thing because he's being guided in a different way. It's completely spiritual, completely from behind the scenes. I have to remember this. Yeah.

Okay. That's exactly right. Yeah. I got to tell you something too. Okay. So he's so cute. He has a Scorpio South Node, Taurus North Node,

and the South Nodes conjunct to saturn that's what i was picking up on the ending of the lifetime okay so meaning that life he didn't complete i'm not saying he died early i'm just saying for whatever reason it wasn't finished and it there's a desire line so we came into this life the goal in life in a chart is to die without having a desire right like whatever like let's say you want to buy a yacht and you never did or something stupid like that never do that just fulfillment yeah it's correct and so his his goal in this life and it's very important because i'm sure he maybe feels bad about the way he was raised or whatever like what happened to him just the circumstances but he had to build himself because his north nodes and taurus never

ever will a person with north node and taurus be handed like gobs of money and stuff unless they put into it themselves right that's the karma of that taurus earthbound monetary money build in one these are my tauruses right here. Yeah. And you two look like little Tauruses. Wait, what's your birthday? May 18th. Oh, May 18th. You're early. You're late. Well, you're middle.

Smack dab. Oh, it's so interesting. You two would be different, huh? Yeah, they're complete opposites. Yeah, totally different. You kind of have water in you somewhere. She's a whole Aries. This woman right here is all Aries. Aries and Taurus.

Yeah, I did her chart, and she's got like seven what's in water i'm not sure i'd have to look again it's been a while i see water sorry i see might be a water moon or something i'm not sure i'd have to see this one's quirky over here she's our gym she's pretty much a gemini yeah the quirky one yeah she's pretty much a whole gemini right here i compare her to our 16 year old daughter oh there you are you quirky girl yeah so it's interesting when you're looking at mimi's chart and you say she's all aries that's called a stellium four more planets in the same sign yeah so so jay has a capricorn stuff i know i tell everybody that do i not say that i'm like i said my husband's a sag but he's really really capricorn which how forgive me for not being able to add, what is his age right now?

39. Okay. Then I'm going to tell you exact timing. So, 49, 40, 42. 42 and a half through 45 is when he's out of music and into the next career. Not that he can't do music. I'm saying this is a choice. No one's saying don't sing.

I'm not saying anything that my husband hasn't already said. He always always says I don't want to be 45 years old doing music there you go yeah says it all the time and he's not going to I'm here to prove that but I'm like I'm like lord please don't let it be politics because he's really getting involved in like you know a lot of stuff and I'm like I am not meant to be a first lady okay yeah you are At least you'll be able to dress cute. Right. Geez. Some of them dress cute, but you'll be cuter. Yeah. Of course, I don't know if you can wear a crop top to the UN meeting. If anybody's going to change, anybody's going to change. I would.

I'm a trailblazer. Yeah, I would. I'd wear workout pants, but you know, dress it up with heels. Like it's an outfit. I love that. That's my thing. That's an outfit i love that that's my thing that's an outfit um yeah see it's jay has this this is interesting it could be politics but i'll tell you something it might be in a different way than we're thinking about it so it might be abdicacy

something like politics but in a different way right if that makes his own version yeah no it could because he's got he's got pluto in the 10th in scorpio he's got saturn in scorpio and he's got the stellium in capricorn capricorn always supersedes after like 40s 50s and 60s they never are not successful later in life unless they choose to like take off and not do it. Right. Like unless they're like stubborn Capricorns and like, fuck you, I'm not doing it. I have Capricorn in my chart.

Yeah, you do. So now the other weirdo thing about him is I just I have to say this. Forgive me. But I don't know about his love life prior to you or anything. And I don't even care. But he was like a ladies man, huh? He's always been a ladies man. That's what I try to tell everybody.

No, no, he is. He listens to me. Women will stalk him, find him. Yeah. It's his energy. See people? People. It's his energy.

Yes, because he has Mars in Aquarius. Yeah. That's friendly. Now listen, when you're a friendly man and you're not molesting somebody yeah he's not creepy yes you're friendly women take that as flirting yeah so they're like oh he likes me yeah and then he has to chase them away because he's like because of course with the sad rising he's like i just want to be their friends but she like wants to marry me. So for you to marry him is super good because he ran a lot. Yeah.

Well, he running and didn't give me an option. He was like, I want to get married. And I was like, I do not. And he was like, but that's, you're going to marry me. And like, he was the first to say, I love you to me. And I wouldn't say it back to him. And he got mad at me. Like, he was like, what do you mean?

You don't love me. And I'm like, bro, we just started banging. Like, let's give me, it's been two weeks. Like, what are you mean you don't love me and I'm like bro we just started banging like let's give me it's been two weeks like what are you talking about yeah exactly it's I'm gonna pull up yours now I have to like I can't keep it all in my head no you're good I can sometimes but not if I'm not studying a day in and day out okay let me just find you look look who needs glasses here in a squinting and not admit it I Dude, I got my bifocals right here. Yeah. So do you? Yeah. I cannot see without them.

You're too young for that. No, I'm 44. That's super young. Super young. I'd love to be that again. OK. So yeah. You look 44.

So I love that. No, you really do. I love that about you saying that about me. What do I have to pay you to get that? Nothing. I was telling them that that when you weren't even here oh my god yeah i'm glad that you see it in person and think it's okay you look even better in person i do yeah well that's because i actually and like okay that's

good because i put effort into the makeup you look gorgeous when i go on my own it's like i've draggled in um okay so you're his capricorn now it's interesting because he had a vision when he saw you, meaning he saw, okay, like he knew there was a knowingness. We call that spiritual knowingness, clear cognizance, clear knowing. Okay, so he knew when he saw you. That's just it because your, when we look at, see, look at you. This is crazy. Okay, so you're really Aquarius out, but you're Capricorn rising. Now that is what gets you. Okay. So you're low cap rising. That part is what sits on his planet. So you do motivate him. So technically you could say that you motivate him, but it's because you can land in his thread of information. And I will say for you in the next couple of months is going to be a

little bit difficult. I know you mentioned the next couple of months is going to be a little bit difficult. I know you mentioned the new studio and you're doing another show, but you're going up energetically, like your chart is lit. So how do I want to word this for you? Letting go of things that no longer serve you, whatever that means. It could be a pair of like fuzzy boots that you wear because you love them or whatever, right? Letting go of things that no longer suit you and then kind of mourning the loss of who you were because you weren't quite ready to let go of her, but now you're over here. And so you're her, not her, but they're both you. So it's, it's this two timeframes sitting like that, but you have very powerful aspects. A lot

of money, you have millionaires, which is neither here nor there, but you have a lot of aspects. And it's fascinating because your nodes are at 29 degrees. This lifetime, you had to learn how to present yourself in public because you were squashed in the last lifetime. I don't know who squashed you. The mother wound is, you carry mother wound with you over several lifetimes okay several from what i could see the mother wound is not what you think though it's more an issue of not abandoning your own femininity it's not like the mothers did to you but whoever were your mothers and this life

that life and maybe like two back abandoned themselves as women and you chose not to yeah that's your mom definitely did she was a beautiful woman and just fucking let her whole life go to shit yeah see i hate that you you watch that though more than one life that's why you could not in this life okay why you could not and it's so so funny because your mom's like doing this with her hands tell her to knock it off and get the hell out of here Vanessa she's doing no I don't even know her name but she's doing this and and I'm going to say to you it's funny because okay I don't know what area it is that you live in now but there is a whole bunch of family stuff that you're going to dive into family genetics the way the family worked,

and part of where you're connected through history in your family. She's saying that. It was hidden from her. Your mother did not know her whole background. Your mother was not privy to where she came from. And your mother, this is what they're telling me. It's no excuse for your mother's behavior. They like to come through and try to make amendments over here.

But the way that i'm feeling it and i see her to the end of her life she suffered i see her kind of sitting like this and wringing her hands so that the your anxiety is genetic all of that but she was hidden from her own life so she didn't understand that she couldn't feel who she was because it was hidden from her was there something like weird when she was born about, I don't know if you've ever spoken about this. I have not heard you say it, but was she not told her history because she's,

it's not what it is. So you can go back in your family, but it's not what it is. I don't know. It's hidden. I don't know. I don't know a lot on my dad's side. My dad,

I don't know like a lot of that family, but my mom told me that i was born into just a bunch of kentucky white trash witches there was like seven of them and they were just like all had gifts they all were like spiritual yeah she you got from her but no there's something hidden about it there's a tie to your family and it's i forgive me for saying this it's connected to war back in the time so when you say warrior but it's connected to like american war and i almost want to say in the appalachians i have no idea where that is really because i'm canadian huh where is that okay appalachians yeah

but your family was connected to that so there's there's hierarchy in the family unit. And then your mother's side cast out over here. I'm getting that. And it makes her nervous that you're going to find this out. Because it's going to, sorry for laughing, it's going to kind of undermine who you thought you were. Not the witch part. That's probably why you were pushed over here. But it's not what you think. She was hidden.

Your mom was hidden. So they didn't tell her the full truth. Even if they told her truth, it was bits and pieces and not fully true can i stop finding out shit about my weird ass fucking family this life i'm so tired of it like why do i gotta be the fucking gatekeeper for all this shit you know why because you're breaking the cycle and the cycle is not um not throwing yourself under the bus in order to be harmonious in any kind of relationship. Being true to who you are as a female soul. You had to master that.

That's actually what you're doing. And the stark childhood is difficult for you. Now look at that. There's your Neptune in Sag. So you see your husband exactly who he is. Yeah. 100%. Now your stellium in Virgo, three or more planets, you have Saturn, Mars, and Jupiter.

That Mars in Virgo is super hard. Yeah. Super hard. Because regardless of what Jay is, he shows up like that in your chart. Okay. So it doesn't matter the sign that you marry, the energy shows up there. And so he's your third marriage, you said? Okay.

So first marriage in astrology is the seventh house so that was a whiny cry baby man who was codependent and needed you to take care of everything okay yeah so that was the first one all of them second marriage is in the ninth house in a chart of a woman like if you do liz taylor you're going around the whole chart a couple of times like seven marriages right yeah exactly so you have to jump is the ninth house you have libra in the ninth with pluto in libra control control issues dominant possibly violent but stalking okay so that's second husband number two okay so control over your energy so that's probably why you split away from him husband Husband number three. Big daddy over here. Yeah. Neptune in Sag in the 11th house.

Friends first. Okay. Always friends. Even if, let's say something happened and no one wanted to have sex ever again. Friends. Yeah. And that's actually extremely important. Friends and Neptune. Musical friends.

Musician. So you married a musician. Also, higher minded friends. The two of you will go towards where you, where you need to go, whether you think you will or not. Yeah. So it doesn't matter. Like you could say, I'm going to change my life and I'm going to open up a chicken farm and raise chickens and you're, and you'll still end up where you need to be because of that. And it's a spiritual connection because it's Neptune. So a lot of times you're taking your glasses off, looking at him going, I didn't know that about him. Like he, he surprises you. Yeah. That's how I am with those tattoos. Yeah. I'm like,

when did you get that? He's like, I've had this bitch. I'm like, you look like, did you get that? I always see a new tattoo on him every time. Yeah. Where do you see us in like the future in the next like five years jay and i okay the next you're not in music that's what i'm i know yeah don't the fans are coming for me now no like bitch shut up um i feel like when i'm looking and i go around in my head there's a connection to europe with the two of you so i'm not sure what that is but i go around the world and then i go out of the country so is that what is in mind for you? I'm not sure yet, but I mean, I get a connection to Europe out of the country. So I'm pretty sure you're going to do something there. I don't feel you're going

to stay in one place or another. So I don't feel there's a settling energy and I feel the karma of the work. I can't see if it's politics, but I do know it's a different career for both of you. And I do know you're going at it together. I don't see a divorce if that's what any crazy people are asking. No, we're not. We've already made a decision that no matter what we go through, we're sticking it out in this lifetime. Like we are in game for each other. Yeah. I don't see, I don't. Nobody's going to put up with him the way I put up with him and no one's going to put up with me the way he puts up with me. Like we just get each other. Yeah. It's interesting. In the next five years, I do feel though, like your career is going to change as well.

And not, I'm not talking politics with you. You are going through, it'll be the next 26 years of your life, actually, which is a long fucking time, but you're going, you're headed in a different way. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say this, you will actually do this work at one point in your life, period, end of conversation, don't come for me. But I'm literally hearing that right now. That's what you're supposed to be doing as a healer. You're doing it in this capacity, but you're going to figure out a way to do it differently. Like not in a podcast way is what I'm saying. And actually it could be a group way, but it's a one on one way and you will do it. It'll come to you. You have guides around you and you have a lot of

people. You have like wild lifetimes with very indigenous people. So meaning you have that in your background as well. So there's like lineage all the way. You have a lot of people around you, like from many, many, obviously it's many lifetimes because it wouldn't be in the most recent three that you've been that but you have that and you've always been like a medicine woman so I feel like your career is going to go in that direction there's also something to do with art because it comes across as very colorful to me so I'm assuming art but it might not be painting art it could be a different expression I'm not picking up on. I don't get any issues with health. I do feel, I do feel though that Jay has to look at himself and ground into himself. Okay. Like actually look at himself.

By look, I mean understand he's a human. Yeah. And step into it, which I'm sure he knows he is. He has to take his pants off one leg at a time like we all do. Health wise, how do you see Jay? I feel actually like he's pretty robust and consistent with his health like i don't see with him when he passes it's gonna be sudden it's not anytime soon that i can see but i can see like out so he won't be

burdened he has purpose right now not to say anyone who passes young doesn't because they do but his purpose is still here so i don't even get that around him the only thing i would say is his wiring is very sensitive so anything that he eats drinks smokes ingests smells like furniture polish whatever he has to be careful and i don't know if he's aware of that because he kind of pushes himself without paying attention which is typical of sagittarius. They will push themselves into the ground, even if they're like, oh, my foot's broken. It's okay.

I can walk there. He's very aware of it. He has atrial fibrillation. He's had to have his heart shocked a few times. Okay, yeah. It's his electrical system. And I don't think, I get the electric. I can see that.

That's from the past life. That shows in his chart. He came in with that. It's actually, his dad had it. Everybody in his family has it too. So it's's like I don't feel he's gonna pass what I feel with him though um he has to be very careful because he has triggers like sensitive food drink literally chemicals like he's sensitive and I don't know that he's aware of that he is well he's starting to be he's always thought I was crazy because i'm so like get my

blood work done and only eat a certain diet and all this other stuff and he's always thought i was crazy and finally this year he has literally hopped on the same train as me even going to the same doctors and trying to one-up me and get an even better doctor gary brecca yeah and get a better blood test yeah does he do that john does that that with me. I'm like, okay, but whatever. So yeah. So this year he's really like taking it in. Do you see, or can you feel, um, any more children around us? Okay. Can I ask you who Catherine is? That is my grandmother. Okay. Yeah. Cause I hear the name real strong. That's my mom's mom. Okay. Yeah. The name real strong you liked her though right I mean you like your mom I love my mom yeah I didn't like her I loved her yeah you know what I'm saying I didn't really know her okay because I feel I feel

like you I just heard the name real strong so she's here as well because I just heard it god if it's not my mom it's the fucking her too well. Well, I think probably, I think probably the secrets you're going to uncover have to do with her. She was very secretive. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. So I'm, if I'm outing your family, like outing that you're going to find that she's going to come through and try to block it. No, no, no, no. You can't get me. Um, yeah, I feel, um, it's interesting. I feel you're a lot like her. her okay I don't know what I mean by that I don't think I mean looks I think something in you is a lot like her you have when you ask about kids coming to the family are you talking about a male child I wish okay yeah there I feel a boy child part of your karma with with fully understanding yourself as a female would be the concept of creation and what is the thing that human female women can do but to create life

that is the biggest form of creation i just feel like i've been healing so much trauma with my parents that i finally am ready to be a parent like i've helped raise bailey since she was seven and i think that also showed me that, Hey, I'm not going to fuck up a kid's life too badly. You know, that's, that's your trauma response.

You would never hurt a child that, that, that wouldn't, you'd be quite the opposite. Yeah. You're not going to be perfect. Cause when they hit teenage years, you're like,

shut up. Yeah. You know, that's how I am with Bailey right now. I'm like, kid, please. But I feel like I've mastered,

not mastered, but I feel like I can do this, you know, and you can do it. And I just want a little piece of Jay and I together. And then the next best thing after that is being a grandparent. Oh my gosh. Because I'll be at the age to be a grandparent when they start having kids. So that'll be perfect. John was 47 with Jason and 50 with Keith. No. And he had kids at 19 and 20, 47 and 50. And now he's with them with the grandkids. It's about, he loves them. So it's the best thing.

Yeah. No, it's the best thing. You can't beat that. Okay. So I do have a question that we can do on record. Yeah. So I have been pregnant three times in my life. Oh my God.

I, oh, I wish I'd have said that to you. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. I wish I'd said that to you because. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. I wish I'd said that to you because you do have a girl on the other side and you're not going to believe I said that. She follows me everywhere. Yeah. You'll have a little girl on the other side. You told me you were pregnant three times, so no one's going to believe that, but I wish I'd

have said it, but you do. And she's growing up with you on the other side. And now let me explain this. So sometimes we have children here and they pass and they reincarnate and they go somewhere else or they go in a different dimension and we don't see them. Miscarriages can happen like that. Sometimes you can be pregnant they stick very close to their parent or parents depending their entire life so they are like a certain age they go through all of the things and celebrate everything with you that's one child I see like that female yeah I've always said I have a little girl that follows me I haven't seen her in a long long time but before like you know probably like 10

years ago she was always she made herself and it was three years before that that you miscarried um i had so when i was 16 when i was 16 i got pregnant the first time i had sex and um i ended that with an abortion because i was scared i didn't know what to do i was a runaway and then after that i had uh 17 18 19 three 18, 19, three years, three, four years after I had, um, an ectopic pregnancy. Oh, that you can't do. Yeah. Cause you die from that. I had two ectopic pregnancies. Oh, interesting. See, that is from the past life and the confirming that you accept your feminine self inside of you, your femininity. And so you're in this life as a woman, you see? So you experience

that from that life. So there's, there's two, you're also merging in this life. So you're becoming stronger woman and you're breaking family patterning and cycling and that's what you're doing. Wild. Yeah, no, that is what you're doing. So the atopic pregnancy is just to let you know you can get pregnant and you're still a female. Believe it or not, I know we have this war, men against women that the government makes up up. Anyway, souls come and go. We switch colors. That I do know because I've had past life visions. And I'm a little boy in the South.

And I am a dark-skinned little boy. And I'm in my crib jumping up and down. And there's shag carpet on the floor. Don't ask me when that was. But I see a thick carpet on the floor. And it's weird. And I'm in a nursery or something. So we do switch male to female, back and forth, back and forth. Oh, I definitely carry some male traits for sure. I like,

sometimes I tell everybody in this life, I'm like, I'm so glad I wasn't born a male. Cause I would have already gone to jail for murder. Ditto over here. Like I swear to God, I'm like, thank God. Yeah, I know it's hard, but we go in and out. We carry because we're spirit, which is neither, nor we just are and you come in but in this life you wanted to ground into female so that's what you're doing that also has a lot to do with the way that you choose to show up as a female in a physical sense so you chose your look as a female and that's just like i did just like you two did we choose our look and we choose to come into the world to express it in a certain way some women are making a statement in a different way you know

like they're choosing to dress however it is they're dressing or not dressing. So you chose it. So it's to ground into that for you. So you're doing it. Like you're saying, I am female this time. There's no confusing it with you. Yeah. Oh no, I'm all women baby. I am all women baby. Yeah. So I wanted to ask you, I know everybody asks you about like the P. Diddy's, the.J. Simpsons the all that jazz and stuff like that and I just by O.J. I know right now yeah like sorry about that dude but I want to know about like a couple other throw them at me okay Princess Diana oh my gosh Princess Diana I feel such a connection with her she was very publicly she had a what that is is

that's a very big aura that comes out because she was a public person. So she has to be able to connect with the public, one would hope. She was one of the first videos I did on my channel. She was very much, and I can't remember everything I said, but she's the one that showed me that they trafficked children. She 100% knew about it. I don't feel she's reincarnated. I know some people think she has i feel like she's in a dimension where she's actually doing work to help people understand that here now where i got confused with it because i liked princess diana but then

i don't like what these people do because to be born into that family there's a certain ritual that goes on with those people i'm canada i grew up around the queen you know yeah we hear our nonsense over there um queen lizard okay i said it yeah i had to say she's something was off about her very off yeah but princess diana some charles i can't he's the evil i thank you yes all the indigenous kids in can, they flew over to Kamloops and they just found the bodies this year. When I used to talk about it as a kid, I was called crazy and called crazy before COVID for saying it. I said that queen took those kids and did whatever she did. And they found those bodies from those schools.

They did find them in 2022, I think, or 2021, whatever it was. But you can look it up. Prince Philip. I've always gotten evil vibes from him. Just demonic. They are demonic. They sell out they sell out who okay just think about it we are free souls and we come into this life and we have these people that say they're royalty why what i'm sorry i just because i'm born here in captivity i actually believe that in captivity to them why do i have to listen to you they steal everyone's money they don't do anything i mean why do i care what they do who are they yeah you know i mean they still the queen

the queen of england still owns all the land in canada we have like leases on our property allegedly according to paperwork like no one knows that but if you go research it yeah she made sure because we're still in the british i'm like no i hated i was kicked out of school for refusing to sing God Save the Queen. Eighth grade, boom, out. I hated her. I used to say fuck her. Yeah, nothing ever, I've never seen her really just like, I don't know, you can just look at people and tell if like their soul is like glittery. Yeah, no, no, no.

She's not, but it's indoctrination. She did a lot of interesting things in her life as far as like the history and things that she did right but it's for a reason now princess die showed me specifically showed me maps and i did not know this i'm talking in 2018 i did the video with her november she talked about the children being trafficked always brown skin babies and she's the one that said that that's why i said it i had no idea so she's somewhere helping I think actually helping expose it because I had no and you know how I got her I didn't care to channel her or not she wasn't on my list I was going through Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington that was on my list yeah but I was hiking with this guy and he was doing makeup for her best

friend oh wow and so he was talking about her and it flipped into my head and then I went home and thought I'll do a video on her you know it was here nor there it's just who I feel like doing and maybe I get it right maybe I don't but she was very invested in that and she actually honestly she was okay I'm going to say the word sacrifice but she didn't oh god please but she was taken out yeah Yeah, absolutely. She was absolutely murdered. And I remember, I remember going to pavilions in Burbank the day she died. I remember hearing it on the radio. I went, what? It just didn't sit right. And I mean, it was a lie.

And they set the driver up too. They set everybody up like it was a payoff. The other thing that I got from her, which I don't think I've read anywhere, but it was on the video I did, is that Dodi Al-Fayed's father so Mohammed Al-Fayed the Herod's owner who she was engaged with at the time he was actually there I didn't know this but when I channeled her he was actually there when she was tested what kind of people look up your hoo-ha to test if you're get out of here. But, you know, oh, they're just British, I heard. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's abuse.

Yeah. Hello. But his father was there. So somehow, some way, there was a deal made with them back then. And I think they crossed him out of it. And that's why he, obviously his son died. I understand that pain. But he was so flipped out because I don't think he thought it was going to happen because he had their word is what I got from that video right so they double crossed him too and I don't think I

ever heard him say he was there but I saw him when I was doing that saw the queen mother I saw Diana's father I saw the queen and I saw uh Dodie's father like in just when I was like focusing on it do you think Charles is going to cross over soon I can't believe he hasn't I mean I can't believe that that's him in that body I can't believe that Kate is missing yeah she's missing like I don't care what they say she's not there uh I feel even though she just did a video she just dropped a video um talking about how she has cancer yeah okay I'm a basketball player yeah I'm a basketball player. Yeah. I'm also six foot five. Yeah. Can't you tell? Yeah.

You know, I'm huge. No, I don't. No, I actually, problem is when you play with gangsters, they take you out like gangsters. So I'm just going to word it. So they're spiritual gangsters in a way and not in a good way. They are, it's the same as MS-13. They're just like that, but they put on a different hat and call themselves monarchy right i think they took her out i can't prove it i sound crazy but that's what i think and i don't think i i said first when charles got in he wasn't going to make it like i mean is that even him or are they putting a corpse up there yeah i mean he

the dude looks like he has fucking got two legs in the coffin already yeah he does his hands freak me out yeah his eyes yes if you just look at his eyes they're weird it's very weird and he i'm not gonna say it shut up say it it's fucking wife camilla the side bitch yeah i know apparently they had a kid and i kind of feel like that's true i feel like she had a child like they say she had a child and i feel like she did and gave it up for adoption. Maybe some guy in Australia says he is now he could be crazy. Yeah. Could be cray cray. But I kind of feel like that might be his attachment to her because when you have some weird attachment, yeah. When you have a baby though with somebody and let's say you have to give it up. How do you not think about that? Yeah. You know, but I don't like her shenanigans and games so I've never

liked her I think any woman that can um do what she did to a family and then marry into the family and expect everybody to call her the queen is just is insane yeah um all right so moving on from them yeah Marilyn Monroe oh god I do have a Marilyn Monroe okay you I do yeah years ago I wrote something when I was doing you know blogs on yeah I used to have a Marilyn Monroe. Okay. Do you? I do. Yeah. Years ago, I wrote something when I was doing, you know, blogs on my space and stuff. I used to have a blog. Okay. Yeah. That's how I started out.

Okay. There you go. I wrote Confessions of a White Trash Wife. Oh, nice. Yeah. You're not white trash, but nice. I mean, I came from it. Yeah.

So they say, but is anybody trash? Yeah. Not really. We're all gods, I feel. You know, even those that are acting nonsense anyway i i was thinking about marilyn monroe who doesn't love marilyn i fucking love marilyn yeah and yes they murdered her i've been saying that since i was 10 i don't care they did yeah and it's obvious no one swallows 50 pills without water right if you've ever tried to swallow

aspirin not 50 of them i can't i'll choke no they hot shotted her obviously in my opinion okay so I was channeling and I wrote this thing and people thought I was talking about myself I wasn't I said I felt like Marilyn was born in again in Canada okay like for for real and I felt like she was in entertainment and I said something like I felt like she was a musician and she had two kids or I said entertainment possibly music something I can't remember exactly what I said so this woman reaches out to me I said she's incarnated back down it's hard because psychics can feel them on the other side and here because we are both here and there so like when

someone dies here we don't physically see them but they are here and there so part of them is here we only bring a part down with us and we reside over there so they say anyway that's how i feel about it but this woman calls me and she's like i'm maryland and i'm like oh god the crazies are out anyway her name was uh is sherry lee laird she was born in scotland and actually interviewed for being marilyn monroe she had the dreams the memories the visions she's a musician from toronto She's slightly younger than me, like born in 67, I think, and has two kids. And she, I mean, they say it's her. And when you look at the research, it looks like it's her, but I felt Marilyn had reincarnated back almost immediately.

Yeah. She was like, I'm coming back. Yeah. I felt like that. Well, they took her out. That's a problem with murder. You get murdered and they want to come back because they have to complete. So they either have to wait however many life cycles. You may, you know, I may die, you may die. We might not choose to come back in with whoever we're with now. We might go somewhere else. We always say we will. But when we get over there, we make stupid decisions like being kidnapped over here. But right. Like who chooses certain things? Yeah. And I think our lives are very faded as opposed to free will. We have free will in how we respond, but nothing about what happens to us is free will. Nothing, absolutely

nothing. Because if somebody starts a war over there and your family lives over there, that they weren't supposed to start because of their free will. Now I'm in the midst of their free will. So now I'm on a different path, you see? So I don't quite understand it. And I don't pretend to understand it. And I don't have all the answers. But with Marilyn, I think she incarnated back. And I really do believe that woman is her. Like when I look at her, I get the distinct feeling that it is her. Yeah. So you should look her up. I will. I will definitely look her up. It's an interesting thing. I mean, we all want to run around and look like different versions of Marilyn, don't we? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we all want to run around and look like different versions of Marilyn, don't we? Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, we love Marilyn. Because she's the cutest. Well, Sloan, is there anything you want to promote while you're here? Oh, my God. Just the fact that I got dressed and showered. Yeah. What do you do? Do you have any projects this year?

I do. Well, they're projects. I have to get a team. My young friend says I need a team. You have to. You got to get people who believe in you and support you. Yeah, I have to have a team because it's friend says I need a team. That's what you have to, you got to get people who believe in you. Yeah. I have to have a team because it's so hard to even answer all the emails, but I'm back to my client. I still read clients day in and day out. One thing I would like to

say on your podcast, because more people will listen. My calendar is not booked out for a year. I only book two weeks at a time because I don't want to be obligated to the reading if I change my mind because I'm ADD. Right. As I'm staring at the mic cross-eyed, but I'm ADD. So people always go, oh, your book for a year. No, I'm not. I would never do that. That's ridiculous. Yeah. I mean, I know people do it. They say they're sold. I refuse to let my calendar get like that. Yeah, that would be. I couldn't. Can you imagine? No, I don't even like, I have to plan a week in advance. That's it because you could change. Yeah. I tell my team, I'm like, talk to me, let's get through this and talk to me about the next week after we get through this. Yeah. Because I can't do it.

And if I have to set up readings and then you cancel and I have to send your money back back then six months, what? Yeah. Um, but the projects I hope to start this year, I am fit. I did finish my astrology book, beginner astrology. So I'll be doing the courses with that. And I hope to start this year I am fit I did finish my astrology book beginner astrology so I'll be doing the courses with that and I have to film those videos when I get back that's what I'm doing to correspond with the book it's like a astrology for dummies for lack of a better word but I love that people need it do you know how many people ask me all the time to how to read a birth chart and birth chart and I'm like I that I'm not your girl yeah Sloan's your girl not your girl well this book tells you step by step, like what is your sun, moon and rising?

Because a lot of people don't even know how to find that. I get that all the time. And it's your birth time. And no, you can't just make up a time to make it. I'm like, stop that. I don't know my time, but get out of here. No. So you can do sun on the ascendant and you can rectify a chart, but that's a lot of skill.

So you have to really want to to and you have to do it by the deaths of people and injuries and illness and moves and things like that and then figure out what was happening so you work backwards and there's only very few practitioners that can do that honestly you know like that but anyway that's coming out and I want to start this is just my goal in the next year is to start my grief project which is connecting with all of the people whose children have passed, but I want to do it from the perspective of the children. Okay. The siblings that are left behind and the backstories of the people and how you handle the grief, because I know I handled it so much differently, even than John. Um, I'm, I was very, I was very public with Keith. It was

the most public thing I've ever done. I couldn't shut up. It was weird. Other people get drunk and high. Other people shut right down and never come out of their house. So everybody handles it different. And I also really want to tell people what to say to people because they say dumb shit. And I'll just say this now. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle.

Well, bitch, I can't handle this. So, you know, like, don't say that to somebody. Yeah, that's grieving or just lost their child. Yeah, you can't. Who can handle it? It's like somebody having a panic attack and telling them to calm down. Oh, yeah, you can't. You can't calm down.

You're like, what do you mean? I'd love to. I'd love to. Teach me how. Yeah, I can't. I think I'm going to die and you poisoned me. And I'm in my underwear going to the hospital. I'm running to. Teach me how. Yeah, I can't. I think I'm going to die and you poison me. And I'm in my underwear going to the hospital, running for Mad Dash. Exactly. But that's, that's one of the projects. So I just call it my grief project. And I've met so many people

that are interested. So that's, and just doing my work. I mean, you know, just doing my, I still read people day in and day out, like usual. It's just like a hairdresser. I get up and go to work and just cut hair in a different way. Where can people book with you? When my calendar's open, they can, they book on my website, sloanbella.com,

which we are redoing right now because it keeps crashing because the fraudsters are out. You know how they try to fraud in on your, well, maybe not. I haven't had that done yet. Okay. Yeah. They try to buy like twenty thousand dollars worth

of something and then they jam it with little fake credit cards and then it yeah they do it all the time they do it to my side all the time yeah so they all the all the companies that take the money have checks and balances so it ends up shutting your website down but they still do it like it they'll try it 160 times in a row that's crazy who does that like who's got that kind of time yeah that's it's bots I think it's bots they say but yeah that's what I'm doing that's the project I'm doing yes Sloan I am so happy that we got I am so happy that was like what a two and a half hour podcast oh my god oh my god how great I'd have to do part one and two. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I'm so happy to meet you. It was the best booking ever. Dude, I could sit here and talk to you for hours. And I told

my husband last night, I said, this woman is going to be a lifelong friend. Oh good. I'm glad. Yeah. I'm so glad. I'm so glad because I was so excited. Um, my PR girl, she was like, here's a list of what, what do you want to do well actually she tracked me down and bugged me I didn't bug her she was bugging me you heard that right Mary she was bugging yeah and um Mary bug with her 10 10 text messages a day yeah voice messages she was bugging me and I'm like I don't want to do anything I want to go hiking and that's it and then I looked at the list and then yours was there I'm like okay if you can get me on bunny I'll do it that's how she won me over because I'm like I

don't care this is not then she called me and she's like crazy I just got you on bunny I'm like shut the door I was like she was like would you have a slime and bell on the podcast I said I would absolutely fucking love to oh it was so great I great. I was like, I'm a huge fan. I was so excited. I was like, I'm so excited. And so now Mary's part of my team. She worked her way in. But yeah, it was so great. Yeah, she sent out of everybody.

She's like this one, this one. Oh, I appreciate you so much. You remind me of just things that I experienced and you use your your experience for good which I freaking love and you're not ashamed of what you did I have fought that like people are like lower your voice you have kids I'm like my kids know who the hell I am like how do you think they don't know who I am yeah you know that everybody knows who I am and so I was just so excited oh I'm so excited thank you so much Sloane why don't you shout out your IG and your TikTok and oh yeah it's all under at Sloane Bella any other version of my name is not me numbers in

front of it underscore you know I don't ask for money just so we're very clear do not do that you do not have a curse on you no one can take it off with money if you do oh my goodness it's a lifelong thing and you have to do it through your actions oh you know karmic yes it's karmic if it's a curse it's family patterning through generational behaviors you have to choose to change the behavior wow no one's throwing do you think that orange man bad would be alive if curses worked no right or bush or even obama any of them anybody whoever pick one they would not be alive yeah do you know how many people are out spellcasting against those people all day long yeah hundreds of thousands i'm sure there's an underground community out there

absolutely so they're not really that effective you can do it but it's manipulation of energy so it always goes back to you ten tenfold oh my god that's why i always say return to sender that's what i do i give it to god i actually have because my temper's so bad sometimes because i'm a little bit masculine too so i'm the same way i resort to anger that's my yeah i go right to anger before love anything no anger i punched you out my reaction is fierce like that like just like ah yeah and uh but i give it to god i'm saying please i can't handle this so please take it back wherever it came from i love that yeah that's what i do well you're gonna have to come back and visit me i'm gonna come back and visit you it's gonna be so fun yeah thank you so

much thank you for having me and thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of dumb blonde i will see you guys next week bye