Dumb Blonde - Throwback Thursday: Shanna Moakler - Her Side of the Story

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Bunnie welcomes the gorgeous Shanna Moakler to the show this week. She's not just a pop culture icon but truly embodies the essence of being unbothered. Shanna takes us on her journey – how she got into the world of pageantry, modeling and acting, and eventually found her way to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood.Get ready for some real talk as Shanna opens up about everything from the lawsuit with Trump, her relationships, with Oscar De La Hoya and Travis Barker, and where things stand with her family today.Shanna: IG Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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forget to sub to Patreon so that you can see the visuals because not only do we have episodes of the podcast, we have exclusive content that nobody else sees on any other apps behind the scenes photo shoots and we're dropping a whole bunch of surprising stuff this year so if you guys don't want to miss out and you want to be the first to know go over to our patreon www.dumbblondunrated.com love you is this thing on bonnie who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast dumb blonde most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child.

And here we are. Hi, babies. Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. And today we have a true icon, one who has lived a full life and not just because of her exes, but because of hard work, tenacity and her sheer will to shine. Miss Shana Moakler. Hello. What you doing? That's a nice introduction.

I mean, listen, girl, I fucking I I've always loved you, but I really had to kind of study you for the podcast. Sure. And you're so you're resilient as fuck. Thank you. And you've been through some shit. Yes, I have. A lot, a lot. And I can't wait to touch base on it.

Sure. And I feel like the media villainized. They're so kind. Aren't they sweet? They're so sweet. They're so kind to me. I've never had to deal with it on your level. I'm just now getting into it.

Sure, sure. And just the outright lies. Yeah. I don't know how you you have are like a pop culture icon thank you literally like everybody knows who you are and if they don't they fucking i don't even live under a rock like for sure thank you i'll be more i got you baby i got you but i just love that no matter what life has thrown at you you've always made it a positive you've always

got back up on your feet and you've always just been like you hit like a bitch and I'm just gonna keep doing me yeah yeah and you're outspoken east coast I love that so yeah let's talk about it so you grew up in Rhode Island yeah I was born and raised in Rhode Island I was born in Providence raised in a small town called Barrington and I was born raised there and I just always wanted to get into the entertainment industry so um there wasn't a big booming one in Rhode Island so I started out in pageants that's how I got into pageantry and uh yeah and I graduated high school I moved to Miami I modeled there I went to New York I modeled there let's uh let's let's slow it down real quick I can tell you're so used to doing interviews because she's like let's get it in

all yeah well we're gonna stop right there so So you grew up in Rhode Island. How was your relationship with your parents? Because I know that they both Yeah, I lost both my parents. That is fucking tough. Yeah, yeah, it's brutal. I'm very grateful that I had my parents for as long as I did. And I mean, it's just one of those parts of life, you know, where you know, it's gonna happen one day, but you just are like, No, it's never gonna happen., you know, where, you know, it's going to happen one day, but you just are like, no, it's never going to happen. But, you know, I, um, I'm, they were married for 52 years and they were honestly like two of the most incredible human beings. And I'm so grateful that I had them. In fact, you know, I, I, um, I kind of, uh, thank them. My, I think my strength and my resilience is because of them, because I had such a strong family um you know

supporting me through all the craziness and the roller coaster ride yeah so uh you know yeah losing them this is my first you know year without them and I'm like I'll cry I'm like talking about them how are you I'm gonna start crying but um you know this is like my first holidays without them and it's it's hardcore it's just I mean it's just that part of life you know that you just never wanted to have happen but happened and so yeah it's been it's been a really gnarly year for me but that's brutal yeah but they they were my strength they always supported me and they were so good to me and you know without them I wouldn't be where I am today and I'm just so grateful you know I know I I have friends that know, didn't even know their parents and didn't have that. So I'm just really happy. I got to have him for as long as I did.

Chachi's just sprawled out, dick and everything, just hanging out right now. Um, so cute. My heart breaks for you. I lost my mom last November and then I found out my dad has stage four cancer this year, so I'm watching him die. So couldn't even imagine you know what you're going through losing them yeah I was prepared for my dad to pass you know he was really I'm the last of four he was he was like 85 86 and but my mom was like just a like a super surprise you know so my condolences honestly no same to you um uh whatever now I got all emotional too, thinking about it. I forgot what I was going to ask. Um, Oh, you said that your mom was surprised. Do you think that she possibly died from a broken heart? She, she actually died first. She died January 3rd. Yeah. She had a

massive like heart attack. Just out of nowhere. No, no really healthy and doing well. I mean, I thought I was going to have her for like another, that she was going to drive me crazy for another 20 years, you know? But, um, uh, um, after she died, I knew, I knew when one went, the other one would be really close, like some notebook style stuff, you know? So, um, at one point my dad was just so sick that I just was like, God, like, please. That's how, that's where I'm at with my dad. Come take him, please. Yeah. Like I don't want him to hurt anymore. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Well back to your childhood, let's get off the sad subject. Um, back to your childhood. Let's get off the sad subject. Yeah, sure. Back to your childhood.

So when did you start modeling? As a baby or like in childhood? No, I started modeling when I was, I went to, I wanted to be a model so bad. My dad had this, it was a dentist and he had this model from New York who would come to just see him and she was a Revlon model. And I just, when she would come,

I would be like, wow. But I would watch like, you know, Barbie commercials and stuff and be like I want to do that you know like I don't want the Barbies I want to be in the commercial yeah I always loved that and uh so my mom put me in a John Casablanca's like model I remember the John Casablanca's they used to be at the malls yeah yeah they're like in the malls and stuff and my only the real ogs know that yeah totally and uh and um i was like 4 11 and like 75 pounds my mom was like i don't know how to tell you you know i'm not gonna this isn't a dream you're gonna have yeah and but she put me in modeling and the uh the pageant uh the miss rhode island teen usa pageant uh people were there and

they were like you should come do the pageant i was like 15 i was like okay and i did it and i placed like first runner up and then i i finally i i just became like a kid model and i started making bank like being a kid like a junior model yeah my parents were like oh shit maybe like she can do something with this you know because i was doing like national campaigns but as like a like like a kid yeah. But then I finally hit puberty and I grew. And the next year I ended up winning the Miss Rhode Island Teen USA pageant. I went to Miss Teen USA. What is doing pageants like? I mean, especially at a young age, did you feel like all the competition?

How were the girls? Like, did it create like insecurities in you? Because I would hate to be judged that young because I was so fucking awkward as a teenager. I guess I looked at it more of like the glamour part of it, like the show. Like I was like, I want to be part of the show and the lights and the and I was excited to interview and like, you know, share my personality with people. And and the girls were great. You know, you made friends and they had events for us and, um, and they would teach you like beauty stuff, you know, and there was lots of networking, you know? So like, you know, they would go to John

Casablanca's, they would go to modeling schools, they would introduce you to agencies. And that's what I was trying to get, you know? And so, uh, even, so even at such a young age, you really just had your eye on the prize. Oh yeah. I was was like what you wanted to do. I was so ambitious. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to and people would laugh at me. You know, I remember being in school and writing down like I want to be a model and an actress. And like it was like out of a movie that everyone like pointing and laughing, you know, but I was like, I'm going to you manifest. I'm going to do it. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to do it. And it's funny because I always wanted to be a model.

And they were like, oh, you're too little. You're too this. You'll never be a model. Then when I became a big model, then they were like, oh, well, I was like, I want to be an actress. And they're like, well, you can't be an actress. And then I became an actress. And it's like, oh, well, you did TV.

You can't do movies. You know, it's always like they always tell you something. I love that. I was just talking about that on my TikTok live today. I was like, they said, I forgot what the question was, but I was like, oh, they said, as an entrepreneur, what would you say? I said, never give up on yourself because you are the only one

who's gonna have your back 100%. So no matter if they tell you no, do it anyways. I said, people try, even if it doesn't work out. I mean, there's so many things I've tried and failed at, but you gotta try. And I think just even the first step, just getting yourself out there. That's the hardest part. Once you do that, then you just keep, you know, one step at a time. Absolutely.

So take me on this journey. You were doing pageants and then how did you end up in LA and sure. Yeah. Was that at a young age too? Yeah. Yeah. I, um, I graduated high school. I moved to Miami. I did season there for, you know, like, um, there. And then I did season there for you know like there and then I well you know we follow seasons and we I moved to New York and I competed in Miss New York USA what does that mean follow seasons so in modeling there's like seasons where you know the weather is really beautiful and all the clients and everyone go to Miami and shoot and then when the weather gets too hot everyone goes to New York and then the weather gets nice there, so then they follow the seasons. I never knew that.

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. So that's what I did, and I loved doing Miss Teen USA so much that I wanted to do Miss USA. So I did Miss New York, and I won that, and then I went to Miss USA. I was actually first runner-up, and the girl who beat me went to Miss Universe, so I inherited the title of Miss USA.

And back then, we were based in Los Angeles, so I Angeles so I moved to LA to be Miss USA for a year and um and that's how I got to LA I was 19 years old I was like the youngest Miss USA in like a decade it was pretty crazy that is so crazy that you accomplished so much in such a short amount of time yeah and I feel like people don't focus on that with you they don't focus on your accomplishments they want to just focus on like comments or shit that gets said and it's like yeah they want to focus on who I dated you know and I'm like I have like and we'll get we'll get to that but that's not you yeah it's crazy to me because I'm like you know I've I've really worked my ass off you know I've like beat the streets of Providence Boston Miami New York LA and I've auditioned for every everything I've ever done I've I had to

audition it wasn't like I was just handed to me one role was handed to me but everything else was not handed to me you know I don't think people realize that no thank you for that of course and that's really one of the things I wanted to highlight in this interview is like you're so much more than what is in the tabloids thank you and um so going back to you doing all of this, like, where are you living? How are you supporting yourself? Well, when I moved to L.A., when you win Miss USA, you got an apartment in L.A. for a year. And you got free transportation. And they flew me all over the country. And I worked with different charities, like Special Olympics.

I went to huge Hollywood, you know, what do they call them? Premieres and things. And I signed with William Morris. And that was like, yeah, that's my career took off pretty quickly. That's when I got on Pacific Blue and became a series regular. And yeah, everything kind of took off. So and then after my year was over, I crowned Allie Landry, the famous Doritos girl. Yeah, I remember. And yeah, I just got a little apartment in LA

and I just hit the, hit the streets, hit the streets. Yeah. So, okay. You're 19 years old. Yes. You're in LA. Yes. How is 19 year old Shana feeling just coming from fucking small Rhode Island, which is beautiful, but yeah, LA was hard at first to get used to especially coming from the east coast east coast people will come to LA and do pretty good LA people will go to the east coast and they usually come back real quick they don't like it as much over there

but it was hard LA is a bigger city it's very spread out and it's very clicky people you know they see a lot of people come and go they see a lot of Hollywood people and so they don't let people into their clicks very easy. So it was hard to make friends, but I eventually did. And, um, I just, I just, I look back now and I mean, I just had the time of my life. It was just kind of felt like where your soul belonged. Yeah. Oh yeah. This was like home and you know, the, my OG, the old crew of Hollywood, I'm actually going to see them all. We're gonna be celebrating one of our OG's birthdays coming up this Saturday. And I'll see a lot of the old school people. And it was just like the best time ever. It feels like a million lifetimes ago, but it was like the most amazing, amazing time in my life. Isn't it crazy? Cause you and I are around the same age. Isn't it crazy to think back to 20 years ago and we're just like, bro, how the fuck did it fly by so

fast? Yeah. It's going to be like 30 years for me. I'm 48. I'm going to be 49. And I, you know, I moved here when I was 19 in LA when I was 19. And I'm like, how did I like, how did, where did those two decades go? I was like, where's my thirties go? You know? And I'm like, wait, my forties.s no like it's so crazy dude my 20s and 30s were a blur I grew up in Vegas so I could only imagine I we spent hella time in LA too so I can only imagine living in that 24 7 yeah it's so crazy take me to one of the first premieres that you ever went to like how did you feel like were you excited was it like were you nervous yeah you know um I god one of my first premieres kind of i

don't even know it would be my first one but i mean one of the most memorable ones um i get oh god i have really i have a really funny story for you um you'll like this okay so i i was friends with kato kalin back in the day oh my god God. And he was like, I got a friend who, um, he was like, I got a friend that needs a date to a movie premiere. And, um,

and I'm like, who? And he's like, Bill Maher. And I didn't really know back then. He just had like a, his show was on like, um,

comedy central or something like that. I'm not a huge fan of Bill Maher and I'm sorry if you guys all are, but, um, I'm not. So, um, but I was like,

uh, all right, I'll go like, fuck it. And it was like, um, it was like this Sean Penn movie,. Yeah. But I was like, all right, I'll go. Like, fuck it. It was like this Sean Penn movie, you know? Oh, geez, yeah. And I was like, okay. And so I go, and he picks me up, and he takes me to this movie premiere,

and we do like the red carpet, and it was like really cool, and I meet like all these huge celebrities and all this stuff. And Francis Ford Coppola is sitting in front of us with his daughter, and I'm just like, this is the fucking coolest thing ever. But I'm with Bill Maher, you know, and I'm like, whatever. Fuck it. You know, how old was Bill back then? I don't know.

He's always been old. I think he's like the same age as me, but he's like real fucking proud to have me like on his arm. And he's like with like the guys, you know, like his friends. I'm just like, oh, Christ. You know, like, no, no it's not happening anyway so we after the premiere Sean Penn goes up to him and he's like hey we're gonna go to Jack Nicholson's house good old

Jack yeah come on come on up with him and I had known Jack and I had known Sean whatever when we get in the car and Bill puts his like hand on my leg and I'm just like oh no I don't want them like you know like no like I'm not no but um this is terrible this is a terrible story but it's fucking i don't even fucking care like i can't stand him so uh

this is this is payback bill so um like he cares um but we uh so we go up there to like jack nicholson's house and you know and and it really fun. And he's trying to get Jack. Jack is a fucking icon. Oh, he's, he introduced me to my, um, basically to Oscar de La Hoya. I was like at Jack's house and he was like, this is the golden boy, you know, all the ladies love this guy. You know, I love Jack. Yeah. And I was like, he is hot, you know? And, um, and then I remember when I, I went out like the out like that week and I met Oscar. And I was like, that's the guy that Jack was telling me about, you know? And when Oscar and I actually ended up.

Did you meet Oscar with Bill Maher? No. Okay. Just two separate. Two separate things. So how did it end with Bill Maher? And we'll move on to Oscar. Yeah.

And then we'll go over there. So, you know, he's trying to get Sean on his show. And he's trying to get Jack on his show or whatever. And then he wanted me to show whatever and then he wanted me to sit next to him and i didn't i don't know this is like comfortable so i like how old were you i was like 20 okay yeah it's a baby i was like a baby yeah and crazy how like and bill maher's the same age i swear how old is bill mark can we google that because he was old back then i feel like yeah i feel like he's not the same he's always kind of looked like the same yeah yeah he's like one of those people that like constantly old yeah you know what I'm talking about like Mr. Rogers love Mr. okay that's what I thought that's what I thought I was 40 when I was

20 that's crazy that's even worse Bill come on so like yeah whatever So anyway we end up leaving And he was really angry That I didn't like When he was like When I moved Typical Hollywood dude From sitting next to him Like he wanted the guys to think

That he had this like Hot little blonde with him And I was like No I don't want them to think That I'm with you Bro you're like old as shit Yeah so And in the car

He was like really angry with me And so I just started talking to like the driver and stuff and then we got out i love how nothing phases you girl i need to do your birth chart because i know you're an aries but what's your moon um i think i'm a virgo okay gotcha i could see that for sure like i'm not i need to do your birth chart after the show because it's just how unbothered you are is fucking priceless. Oh, like I was like, you're going to ruin my time. Like I was like, I came out here to like, you know, like just to have fun. Like I had no expectation.

Yeah, no expectation. I wasn't here to date you. I was just like, we were just going out as like friends and, you know, whatever. And then he got out of the car. We got out of the car. And I remember I walked, I had a doorman. I was on Wilshire Corridor back then. And my doorman knew me and, you know, he walked in and he goes,

I just want to let you know that you are one of the most disrespectful young women I have ever met in my entire life. And I was like, excuse me. And he's like, shh. And I was like, did you, did you just shush me? And I, and he was like, he goes, and I just want you to know, I will never ever be seeing you again. You should have let those men know that you were with me. And you are completely disrespectful. And I was like, first of all. Yeah. I was like, I'm not your bitch. I'm not your girlfriend.

And I don't need to let anyone know that I'm with you. And I was like, and I'm totally fine, like, not seeing you again. And I remember he left and my doorman was like, what the fuck was that? And I was like, I don't know and ever since then I've been like fuck Bill Maher I'm like fuck Bill Maher oh god that is that's a priceless fucking story yeah I'm like thanks Kato fucking Caitlyn yeah where the hell's Kato Caitlyn I don't know he did Big Brother too not too long yeah like Celebrity Big Brother but I feel like he pops in at the weirdest times yeah the weirdest like he popped in for the OJ shit

yeah he popped in for like yeah and I did Big Brother and he popped in and the weirdest times yeah the weirdest like he popped in for the oj shit yeah he popped in for like and i did big brother and he popped in and did a little stint on there and then just like ran off and yeah that dude has made a fucking career off just popping in and like being like people's friends like it's just it's crazy yeah yeah that's what he's known for i don't he's not an actor or anything is he i don't know what he's ever done okay I know but he's somehow a fucking household name so he figured it out for himself you know Hollywood for you you know people can like yeah no but make a name off themselves just just being themselves I guess being roommates of people exactly um yeah so let's let's move on so you what how old were you when you met Oscar? I was like 22 turning.

I was like 22, 23. So you had originally met him when you were 20. Didn't really know who he was. And then kind of just like you guys crossed paths again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. So take me on that gap. In between 20 to 22, what are you doing out there?

I'm working. I'm on the USA show Pacific Blue. Yes. I got that list right here working and you did a bunch of shows you did pacific blue you did csi entourage yeah iconic people love that how was it on the on the entourage oh that i mean that's such a great show and you know that show was so successful so good when you have a show that is so successful and everyone's making money yeah that's really fun have a show that is so successful and everyone's

making money yeah that's really fun because there's a lot of money and everyone's really happy and so it's a nice place to work how are all the boys they're just amazing yeah yeah kevin connelly is like so awesome i've known him forever he's such a good guy and um yeah everyone on the on the show i love all those guys just amazing i love that for you it's just such an iconic show you know um and you also were on the wedding singer yeah that was my first that was one of my first roles um I ever did I was at a barbecue and Adam Sandler was like hey do you want to like that's the one role where he was like hey do you want to yeah you know be in this movie and how do you just go to a barbecue with Adam Sandler I don't know I'd shit my I'd shit my pants because that's that's

father you know that's the thing like you know back then every night you went out you know you were just everyone used to go out back it wasn't so pretentious yeah like there's so many celebrities just ran in the circles like that's how Vegas was yeah Vegas and Hollywood were so much alike like I would go to the fucking palms and Pamela Anderson would be there fucking yeah Anna Nicole you know like everyone nobody had security going out no one had security it was like really fun I would go to the fucking Palms and Pamela Anderson would be there. Fucking Anna Nicole, you know, like everyone, nobody had security going out. No one had security.

It was like really fun. It was like the playboy mansion, you know, parties when he first, you know, lit the candles in the grotto. Yeah. And after his marriage,

I mean, those parties were awesome. Everyone went like Leo and oh yeah. Everyone. I think Leo is still partying. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think he's stopped

yeah all those guys and I love all those guys yeah absolutely so getting into TV yes how did you get into it like you were like okay I'm gonna do TV I'm done with modeling I don't want to do pageants anymore is that what well I won the big the big one you know and so there's really no more to do in pageantry for me. You know, I could have gone and done Miss America, but it's a scholarship pageant for girls that really want to go to college. Yeah. And I wasn't going to go to I had no desire to go to college. So she's like, I already know what the fuck I'm doing. Yeah. I'm like, I want to, you know, and I for me being an entertainment, you know, going to college would have taken years of, you know, where I need to be auditioning and stuff.

you know going to college would have taken years of you know where I need to be auditioning and stuff absolutely um yeah so um yeah I was just beating the like just auditioning auditioning auditioning how I have a question though so girls literally strive their entire life to make it to that Miss America pageant yeah how do what do they what is life after pageantry for those girls who are like hard lifers for a lot of them America, you know, it's not really a beauty pageant. It's really girls that have like a platform and really want scholarship money to pay off their tuitions and stuff. So it's more of an interview. They say it's a talent pageant,

but it's really more of an interview pageant. And so those girls, you know, they really want to be, you know, they have like a plan already. Like they want to be in aviation or doctors, lawyers. Okay, so there is life. Yeah, there's life. Like they're going, you know they have like a plan already like they want to be in aviation or doctors there so there is life yeah there's life like they're going you know to go do stuff where in Miss USA Miss Universe those girls are more entertainment based they want to be um you know they want to they want to be in movies hosting acting modeling so we always say um we always say uh you know Miss America is the girl that lives next door and Miss USA is the girl you

wish lived next door. But it's more of a beauty patch. It's more based on physical beauty. It's not so much college based. All those girls are gorgeous. Didn't Donald Trump used to host those? He owned it. Yeah, I worked for Donald for a long time. Did you meet him? Did he ever grab you by the pussy? Oh, I met him. Yeah, he and i were in like a crazy lawsuit together and against each other and together what did he ever grab you by the pussy no i just had to ask he wasn't my biggest fan oh no what happened um well can we talk about it oh yeah we can totally talk about it's actually pretty famous um you know uh there was my title i used to run i was the executive director for the Miss California USA pageant. Right.

And I had a title holder named Carrie Prujean. And she was a very religious girl. And when she competed at Miss USA, Perez Hilton asked her about same-sex marriage. Because at the time. Perez is coming on the podcast tomorrow. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah, yeah. Tell him I said, what's up?

Tell him if he says another thing about my daughter, Alabama. We're going to the mattresses. I will. I will tell him that. Please tell him that. I will. Yeah. I'll tell you a little more.

Okay. Yeah. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about Perez later too. But yeah. So Perez asked her about same sex marriage. And at the time it was very controversial. We had like prop eight going on and it was a very big deal.

We were like marching. And she was religious. Yeah. She was. Yeah. She was. She was very. Yeah. She was very very big deal. We were like marching. And she was religious. Yeah, she was, yeah, she was, she was very, yeah, she was very religious. Right.

And so she just said that, you know, she stated, you know, that she just felt like, you know, marriage was between a man and a woman. And, you know, that was like her opinion. But the way it came across was really offensive to a lot of people, especially in pageantry. There's so many, you know, we have, we have just have a huge gay community. Yeah. And so it was really offensive to a lot of people and then she basically uh kind of like breached her contract started kind of like running all

over the country a huge church the in nam it's called the national organization for marriage it's very it's kind of what created prop a and it's very it's highly funded right and um and then you know like the baptist churches from the south kind of latched on to her and i think i remember that yeah i wanted her to kind of be like the face of you know of anti-gay marriage and stuff right and started paying her like massive money amounts of money to go to these churches that kind of had like anti-gay rallies right you know associated you know homosexuality with like bestiality it was like awful oh so you know we were trying to like be like you're under a contract you can't just go do these appearances without us and all this stuff so trump at first we had to go to trump and be

like we can't control her like and she's losing her mind and he we had like this big you know press conference over at the trump towers it was like can spin film festival with the cameras and stuff and i wanted her to lose her crown i thought you know her behavior just the way she treated us wasn't very pageantry like it was you know because you want little girls to be able to look up and everybody's entitled to their own opinions but at the same time it's like you don't talk about religion and it got just gross it got in nasty we had sponsors you know that are like i'm a game you know where we just gave you hundreds of thousands of dollars and, you know, she hates me.

You know, it was really bad. And he let her keep her crown and I resigned. I quit. I was like, I'm not supporting this. I'm out. I quit. I made like, I mean, I was on CNN. I was on, you know, it was really big news.

Ryan Seacrest. And then I think even she, Trump got sick of her. And then Trump ended up firing her and asking me to come back, which I did. And then she sued all of us. And so she sued Trump and I. And we all had to, like, go to meetings. What did she sue for? She sued for religious discrimination.

Wow. Yeah. How did that end up? This is amazing. Um, she, um, she,

she, she sued us and, uh, so you, she was suing you and Trump. You guys weren't suing each other. Correct. Yes.

Yeah. She was suing Trump. She went after Trump and then myself and my partner in the Miss California USA organization. Um, she had a boyfriend, um, who sent all her, she masturbated a lot and she took videos of herself masturbating.

Well, that wasn't the turn I was thinking was about to happen. She masturbated a lot and she, she sent, isn't that against religion? I'm all for masturbating. I will leave a snail trail anywhere. I am totally fine for it.

You know, I'm please be proud, masturbate and be proud but she um her boyfriend sold all her masturbation videos to tmz and um now you have to understand that now at this point she's become where she was a little religious right she then was getting making a lot of money with these with these churches and so then she kind of became this really very religious woman, but she was not, not to that extent, you know? And I always feel like when people are like that, they're always hiding something. Yeah. I grew up in a very religious environment and my family was the most hypocritical people you could ever meet. Yeah. It's always that preacher who's like, you know, and then he's found in like a motel with, you know, having a homosexual relationship.

Yeah, smoking crack and fucking, yeah, doing weird shit. Yeah, exactly. So we ended up the lawsuit, you know, presenting that, you know, and she denied it. And to like the, you know, the camera went up to her face from her vagina to her face, you know. And then she, so we settled out. Oh, good. Yeah. And ended it.

So that was crazy. Yeah, that. Yeah. Ended it. Crazy. Yeah, that was my first year as a state director. So why did he not like you, though, just because you quit and you took a stance against him? Because I quit and said that I will not support him. I wouldn't support, because you have to understand the contract that she signed is the same contract I signed at Miss Teen USA and Miss USA. And I had to abide by the contract. I couldn't go tell my state directors to fuck off and go do whatever I wanted to do. And I felt like, well, why does she get to breach it?

Because she's bringing in press. Donald loved press, and it's like, I get that. But she's also killing our business. Our sponsors are dropping, and people are offended. Hurting people. Hurting people, yeah. Crazy. Yeah.

OK, so moving on. That story was awesome, though. Yeah, was awesome though yeah so you're doing tv yeah um when did you do the wedding singer um i was about 20 20 years old yeah okay and you met billy idol i did i met him on that i met him on on that set yeah how's his wiener he was a really good lover i'm not gonna lie i do see i know i had a feeling because those rocker dudes for some reason i love musicians and rocker dudes but they the majority of them not all of them are pretty passionate he was he was actually really fun and really cool and he actually was really awesome to talk to he just knew like a lot about like

history and was like really fun conversations at home. And he stimulated you intellectually. Yeah, he did stimulate me intellectually. And he just he was just a lot of fun. But I was just so young. I was like, baby, settle down with like anyone. I was like, wild as hell. So you're literally living everybody's dream. Yeah. He was super fun, though. I love that super fun though i love that so you're doing tv you're doing these movies how are you feeling did you ever fall into like the drug scene in la or no i never did no i never got into drugs um i wasn't even like too much of a drinker really you know i just was high on life just running around and i just wanted so badly to to be a

movie star and to break into movies. And I just was very nuts. I wouldn't call myself like a star fucker because I just ran in those like circles of people. Back then, I don't even think that was a thing. Now it's more like clout chasers. But back then it was like it was where you were and who you knew. Yeah, I mean, people were just everywhere. Yeah.

You couldn't avoid. You didn't pursue them. You literally just ran just everywhere. Yeah. You couldn't avoid. You didn't pursue them. You literally just ran into them. Ran into them, yeah. But I just was so zoned in on just being successful, and I just wanted to prove everyone in Rhode Island that told me I was never going to be shit that I was going to do it, you know? Yeah, I love that.

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So one of my best friends from Rhode Island was a security guard at this. I think it was called it was a big club in West Hollywood. The Eden or something. Garden of Eden or something. People will know that. I'm looking at my notes. I'm not ignoring. I'm not just taking a phone call right now or anything like that.

I literally have. No, you're totally fine. You're like, sorry, I'm going to drink. No, you're good. I'm so dehydrated. I know you said you were, can we say it? You said you were hungover. I'm a little hungover. I actually, I've been on this terrible sleep.

So I went to bed at like 9 o'clock last night, like I told you. And I woke up at like 6 in the morning. and I didn't know what to do with myself. So I went and played like some cards, like some, and I just had like a couple drinks and I was like, oh my God, I got to go do this podcast too. I'm drunk. I got to like. Mimi's fucking hungover too. I was like, I got to get it together here.

They didn't come barreling in until like 3 a.m. I was like, I got to do this podcast somewhere. I'm not drinking with you guys. So. Yeah.m. I was like, I got to do this podcast somewhere. I'm not drinking with you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I went to this nightclub and Oscar, I remember he walked by and I used to go run around Hollywood and then I would go to this bar to meet my friend and wait for him to get paid.

And we would all go get like pizza or go to, you know, whatever after spots we all used to go to. And and he walked by and the other security guards were like, Shana, do you know who after yeah spots we all used to go to and and he walked by and the other security guards were like Shana do you know that was do you know that was that was Oscar de la Hoya the and I was like oh that's who Jack told me about oh that's who Jack was talking about he's really cute and they like do you want to meet him and I was like okay and so they like brought me over to him and and we just like we just looked in each other's eyes and it was just like ding and that was like it um do you feel like it was um some sort of like

a connection like from your life type thing oh my god instantly and i knew i was like i'm and back then i was like i'm never gonna have babies like i'm never having kids like i'm just gonna like live my life and and i met him and i was like, oh, I'm going to have your baby. Like, I was like, I am going to have your baby and we're going to be like, and I was so happy. I was like, yeah, we had a, quite a whirlwind there. Does he dress up in women's clothing? Really?

No, he doesn't. Cause I mean, I, well, I remember when that was going down and I was like, well, how do we explain these pictures? What was happening? You know, he he does drink a lot. He had like a drinking problem for sure. And he's the kind of we've all done some weird shit. I'll do some weird shit.

But he's the kind of drinker that like, you know, he can drink a lot. Yeah. But he's like wasted off the first shot. You know, those kind of people like we have to like babysit him. And I feel like some Latinin americans cannot drink like they can't like some indians they have a really hard time yeah it's like you know it's some people's like biochemistry or something like they just like but like when he drinks like two drinks and he's like like as if he had 50 he can drink 50 but he's like as wasted off the first as he

would be like on the 50th right and um so and but he's very fun like he's a fun person and he's um you know and he loves to sing and he's and he's very social he's very charismatic and you know and he really just you know and you know he's in training you know he would train for three four months in big bear at a time and then you know he wanted to like let loose and go crazy after the fights and just be young you know he was he was 25 when i met him yeah and i was 22 23 years old yeah oh you guys were babies yeah we were like babies and um but you know he's like one of those people that you know would like you know put like the clothes on just to be funny and silly oh god you know what i'm saying somebody took the picture and then

someone took the pictures then tried it to like basically blackmail him you know that is terrible yeah i just the media is fucking terrible like that i've always wondered that i was like is that his kink because i know there are some people with kinks like that you know no no so take me into you guys's relationship yeah you guys met that night and then it was just a whirlwind romance six months later and i remember saying to him like did you just move in with him yeah we like moved in with each other and we just were like madly in love and I you know like he I think our first date like I went to Big Bear and we took a private jet to Vegas and he took me to like a George Foreman fight oh damn that's iconic yeah it was really cool and I just remember people being like champ champ and like I'd never been with an athlete and you know there's a difference between

fan like fans of athletes and fans of movie stars like there's a real difference what's the difference they're just way crazier oh way more fanatic yeah you know fanatical and um and I just was like this is crazy and I didn't really know anything about the boxing world or you know him really I just fell in love with who he was he was very romantic and I just loved his culture and the Latino like kind of you know energy of him and um I'm half Portuguese I'm Portuguese and Irish but um I'm Brazilian and white trash that's what I always say I love it um yeah and we just like we just fell in love but you know we were so young and we had so he he had so much money and had so much power,

and he had so many people just pulling at him from every direction. I mean, we just did an HBO documentary, and I was actually really surprised that he kind of let me be as candid, and he was as candid and really as brutally honest about his drinking, his drug problem, his his womanizing his sex addiction do you think he's trying to right his wrongs now now that he's older yeah absolutely and you know i i he has he did me pretty pretty dirty you know yeah let's talk about that because you had so you had atiana yeah i had atiana she was about one and a half two years old and i knew things

were going on. You always know when they're cheating. Yeah, you always know. It's never fucking not noticeable. Yeah, and that didn't bother me so much as there were all these third parties. There was like, he had just lost his first fight. And there were lots of new businessmen in. And they were making changes and stuff. basically like um he went to go he

wanted to sing he was doing like an album and yeah we were like and i was like you're singing now like what the fuck is happening like it was really weird um but i remember we like i met him at the hilton at universal every time i pass it to this day i still remember and i met him at the universal and um and i just like was like do you want this anymore and he was like you know what he's like I'm gonna go to New York I'm gonna go do Letterman and when I come back we're gonna start fresh he's like I want you and the baby you're my girls we're gonna start the you know he's like go he's like go buy some art for the house go get some you know new things for the house when I come back we're gonna start fresh and I was like okay that was like on a Friday and then do you think he really genuinely in that moment meant

that or do you think he was pacifying the situation because he wanted to avoid confrontation i'll never know you'll never know i'll never know i i obviously i i i it was everything i wanted to hear in that moment um but i'll i'll never know but i i was i was in our home our mansion in bel air and um my daughter was sleeping in her nursery. My mother was there, my girlfriend. And we were watching the Latin Grammy Awards. And I just remember they were like, Oscar de la Hoya is about to hit the red carpet. And meanwhile, I'm calling him like, hey, honey, did you get home all right?

Like, where are you? And he's not answering. And I kind of like, we all looked at each other like, Oscar de la Hoya is on the red carpet. Like, what the fuck is he doing there? And it's in LA you know so we're like wait what and they go to a commercial break and so we're waiting and I'm like what is he doing there why the fuck am I not there like what's happening and then um he uh it comes back and there he is holding hands with his now ex-wife Millie Corde, or I don't know how to say her name, whatever Millie.

And, um, and I just time, you know, and kill bill when that, yeah. Yeah. When everything just slows down.

Yeah. I mean, I just like, I just remember I lost my breath and I just was like, and he was holding her hand and they were like a couple. And I just like, I, my mom,

I just remember. And everybody had publicly known that you guys were together right yeah we were a couple and they just accepted this there was no backlash of like there was really no backlash and he was so powerful and the media was just so he had such control of the media that wow you know yeah I I didn't stand a chance and um and the next day they had a lawyer come to the house and say you and the baby need to move out. And I was like, I'm not moving out. I don't, I'm not, I like, this is my home.

And, you know, and it just became like a world, like a shit show, a whirlwind like of shit show. And we were in like, you know, we fought for probably like. Did you ever get him back on the phone? No, he never called me again. He had his assistant Raul come to me and tell me that he no longer wanted to be with me and I remember breaking down in Raul's arms and crying I think Raul was crying we were both crying and I just was like is this really I

couldn't even like I just remember sitting on the balcony of that Bel Air mansion with a bottle of vodka and a cigarette and being like what the fuck am i gonna do now and i really thought in that moment that my life was over and i was how old were you i was uh 24 years old you're a baby yeah but i like i you know i quit working to you know i thought i was gonna be a wife and a mom was he very controlling about your working because i know that culture the a lot of the men do not like they did not he did not want me working i quit working for him i quit like everything him i quit like everything so i you know at that point i didn't have like a manager i didn't have an agent anymore and back in the day you had to have those to even do anything there was no social media like

we have today no i don't even i don't even think we have phones like we have i think we had like a flip phone like the brick phone a motorola or something you know the sidekicks yeah there was no uh yeah and like literally like doing the you know one word like the t9 exactly you know that's how i'm texting him where are you yeah 15 minutes later you know but um yeah i was like so it's kind of like that and i i remember the fact that everybody could publicly know that you guys were together yeah and then him be able to just present a new woman on the right that would never fly oh in today's day and age like are you kidding no yeah and the fact that you just had to eat it i had to fucking eat it behind the scenes like did you go through were you were probably going

through postpartum during this too yeah well no my daughter was about two one and a half two years old you know no i just um that's why i I ended up, you know what he said to me? You know, this is so crazy. This part of it, I remember, because he wouldn't see me. And I remember I went out to a club and Paris Hilton was there. And he was fucking Paris Hilton at that time. Even though he was with Millie. You and Paris have a long, extensive history.

Yeah, he was fucking Paris. And I got. Even though he was with Millie? Yeah, even though he had just started dating Millie. And I I knew he was there to meet her and she was like hanging out with me and I was just like why are you hanging out with me like if you're and and and he saw me and I and I left I left the club and um he wanted to meet me and so I went and I met him like the next day and I and he and it was the first time I'd seen him since how long ago was how long uh after it was about a month since the latin grammy awards

okay gotcha and um and uh we were in the car talking and he uh he came to meet me and i just said to him i'm like why did you why did you do that like why did you internationally humiliate me like you know like and i have nothing you know i have nothing now I don't even like know what to like how to like move forward from this yeah and meaning when you say nothing not monetarily you're just meaning like your family or you're talking about I just know at that point in my life like my career was over yeah I had no agent I you know my future I thought I had this whole future planned you know and that was like ripped away from me in a matter of 24 hours.

And I just like, you know, I didn't know, I didn't know what to do. And he just said, oh, I had a chemical imbalance. That's what he said to me. And I said, what the fuck? I was like, okay. And I just was like, well, I don't want to like go to the, like, I don't want to legally go after you. Like, can we like, can you help me?

Like, I don't know what I'm going to do. Like, where am I going to live? Like, where, like, what, like, I don't want to legally go after you like can we like can you help me like I don't know what I'm gonna do like where am I gonna live like where like what like I don't know what to do you know and he was like and he goes you know Shana he goes and at that point we had gone to court and figured out our child support and he goes you know you already took me to court for child support and I'm not happy about that and he goes and if you sue me for palimony he goes I'm not gonna see you or the baby till she's 16 years old and did you guys make out or what did you just have a conversation no we just had a conversation I was bawling and I mean I was still madly and madly in love with him and I just like I thought I was

losing like you know this was the man like I you had your first baby with yeah I worshipped him and and he said you know it goes I won't That you had your first baby with. Yeah. I worshipped him. And he said, you know, he goes, I won't see you or the baby until she's 16. And I just was like, no fucking way. No way would you do that. And then he goes, and he got out of the car. I'll never forget this. And he went around to the drive, sitting in the driver's seat. And he knocked on the window and I rolled it down.

And he goes, I have more money than God. Don't be too hard on me. And he left that gave me goosebumps and he fucking left and I sat in that car I'm only crying I sat in the car

and I cried for like fuck man and I just was like there's no way he didn't I sued him for palimony and I won I love that you didn't

back down though yeah I really didn't have a choice I honestly was scared and you know and I was like and I was saying to him in the car I was like well i don't want to sue you for palimony i don't like let's figure this out but can you help me like can like i don't even know if i have a fucking

car like i don't like can you can you at least like give me you know something so that i i can raise our daughter in a safe environment and i can put her in a good school and i i know like i have some uh support or you know um security but he wouldn't he wouldn't talk to me so I really didn't have a choice and you know in the news back then they were like Shana sues him for 200 million I didn't want not knowing the background of what's going on yeah I mean that was half of his money back then but any woman that has been hurt the way that you were yeah i think you were pretty fucking nice yeah you didn't slander him in the in the public i i wanted him back i wanted i i wanted him back so bad but he didn't see the baby and i till she was about 16 years old wow yeah he didn't my heart

just dropped yeah that is i feel so bad for atiana yeah she she didn't you know didn't know her father growing up you know and they've made amends and he's he's he's made amends with me and he's apologized and he's apologized to her how long did it take for him to apologize and to make amends like did he has he been consistent in her life since she turned 16 he was he was being pretty consistent he has a new girlfriend and i think he's midlife crisising out a little bit damn it oscar he's definitely you know he he's he's trying he's doing the best that he can do and he's really owned up to a lot of his mistakes and his faults and i i will honor and respect him for that you know

he's not he didn't have an easy life and he's not a perfect person yeah and i will always love him as the father of my daughter yeah but he's tried but you know atiana looks at him like a father and she loves him immensely but Travis is her dad Travis is her father like her daddy I love that being a bonus parent that really makes my heart happy because yeah it's

such a hard role to take on and we'll get into their relationship too how is your relationship with Atiana are you guys good are you guys super close? I have a great relationship with my kids. You know, you know, it's it's hard. You know, there's a, you know, parental alienation is a real thing. And we can get into that a little later. But, you know, I was a I'm a I'm a goddamn good mom. I'm a fucking great mother. And I raised all my kids and I did a good job with a lot of heavy shit. Yeah. And, you know, even with Atiana when she was little,

you know, I made sure that because her dad wasn't there, I would go to the schools and be like, I want her in classes with all male teachers. I want her to have positive male role models. You know, I would have her go and spend summers with my mom and dad because I wanted her to see a functioning, healthy, loving, you know, relationship. I made those choices for her to see those things

and be a part of those things. I have a great relationship with my kids. My kids and I never had any bumps in the road until my ex-husband started dating the Kardashian crew, you know. Gotcha. And I don't fault my kids for some of the things that they said.

They were kids and they were influenced. And, you know, but a teenager saying one thing one time doesn't take away the years that I did raising my children I'm very confident in who I am as a mother and um how I raised my children um uh but I'm I'm not estranged from my children I'm very close to my children I love that we have great relationships yeah we'll dive a little deeper into that once we get into their births and stuff like that. But yeah, I just wanted to know where you and Atiana stood.

Because I mean, you guys were babies growing up together. We really were, yeah. Do you feel like the bond, like she's more of like a sister? No, I'm definitely her mom. She's like, no, I'm mom. No, no, no, I'm definitely her mom. I love it. She's beautiful too.

She is. Goodness. I mean, all your kids are fucking gorgeous. I'm very proud of all three of them. But she just has she is a very incredible, sweet, kind soul. She seems like that. She seems very peaceful. She is. She's she's more conservative and much more chill than the other two. Right. But the other two are your karma. Yeah. Oh, yeah. God gave me Vamalast for a reason. I love that. So moving on, you're going through this heartbreak.

You're having to go through this. I did Playboy. Yeah. So is that what you did as soon as you broke up with? Yeah, that's what I did. And he never would. I was on Pacific Blue, and they wanted me to be a celebrity pictorial, and he would never.

He was like, no, absolutely not. Yeah, he was like, no way. You know, Mexican, you know. He's like, no way. You know, Mexican, you know, no, no, no. Um, but at the time I needed the money to like pay my attorney to,

you know, to, um, uh, do the, the palimony suit. Did which, did you guys settle in the palimony suit?

Yes. We ended up settling. He ended up being very, I don't know. Like, couldn't we have just done this like a year ago? I think he just wanted to see if you had it in you. Yeah,

maybe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have a choice. I was like, you know, I'm like, couldn't we have just done this like a year ago? I think he just wanted to see if you had it in you. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have a choice. I was like, you know, I'm like, I'm doing it, motherfucker. I don't want to do this. I was like, I love you.

Please don't make me do this. Like, we'll do it. You know, but yeah, so I ended up doing Playboy, but they wouldn't make me a celebrity pictorial after that. See, so it like ruined it, hurt my career. Right. And so they said, we'll give you, we'll make give you a make your playmate you know you can pick your month and would not be better to be a playmate though than just a celebrity

pictorial cuz isn't that like a one-time thing yeah it's a one-time thing but you get paid a lot more gotcha yeah you get paid a lot more so it's hundreds of thousand dollars or twenty thousand dollars you know and as a playmate you know you have to do a video you have to do certain things but you know what my Playboy experience was the most epic coolest amazing like shooting at Playboy Studio West was Steve Weta, Arnie Freytag

just you know the kings of photography it was just such a really cool time and Hef and just was so good to me I never dated Hef no you don't have to fuck Hef to be a playmate like he was a complete gentleman a class act to me and welcomed me into his home I love I love that whole era of Playboy I felt like that was the time that like women kind of all came together for just a cause and like it was just like yes you know it was like a girl gang

and it was like if you were part of that girl gang I did work for Playboy TV I wasn't pretty enough to make it in the magazine um but I did shoot no I don't listen I shot with uh I think his name was Bill White at Playboy West okay okay yeah and yeah and they they were just like no they were there you know they I mean sometimes they power tripped a little bit. Yeah. Which is fine. Yeah. Which is fine. But I was all, I, you know, partied, I did the whole playboy. Yeah. Like, um, but that era was just, I don't know, like even though it was for a nude magazine, it was so wholesome.

It was, it was so wholesome. It's so weird to say that, but it was, it's so true though. And And, you know, it was. It was good teaching women to embrace their bodies. Yeah, really? Yeah. And it's so interesting because it's like a sisterhood. All the playmates are like a sister. You know, the pageantry, there's sisterhood in that.

I used to try to get the pageant girls to go to dinner with the playmates, but that never went well. Dude, how epic would that be to have a pageant playboy edition yeah that would be crazy yeah there's a lot of girls now that you know do it now that their pageants are over they're like i want to do it yeah oh i wish you did it years ago it's so cool you know tell me about it so i've met hef a couple times too and i thought he was always so sweet he was a little disconnected like he was just yeah he was just kind of like there and just kind of did his own thing i first met him when i was miss usa and i was doing a charity event and he was still married

to kim at that time and i remember he came up to me and he goes you know you're truly a beautiful young woman and i just thought like what a compliment what a fucking compliment from him like you know i mean i went to bed that night like holy shit you know i remember when i was like this is crazy weird people are gonna think it's weird but um i remember my dad used to have like playboy you know say my dad did too yeah in the bathroom in the bathroom he would have him in the bathroom i remember looking at them and i just thought the women were so beautiful and i remember being on the bus and kids were like what do you want to be when you grew up and i was like a playboy bunny yeah i

didn't know what that meant and i remember everyone everyone being like, oh, my God. And then to ironically end up becoming a Playboy bunny later is very, very funny. But yeah, I was 19 when I first met Hef. And then I was with Oscar. I wasn't allowed to do it. But then when I was 25 turning 26, that's when I became a Playmate. And I vied for Playmate of the Year. It was between me and Darlene. They made us go shoot on just a white backdrop, completely naked.

And it was between she and I. And that's when he had, like, seven girlfriends. And I think, like, five of his girlfriends were in the contention, you know, that year. But I never felt pressure or anything like that. But I was the first Playmate to ever have a belly button ring. Oh, I love that. Yeah, and I had, like, the little rabbit head. I feel like back in the day, they didn't let tattoos either.

Yeah, you weren't allowed to have piercings or tattoos. Hef didn't like them, but he changed that as he got older. Yeah. And times changed. How do you feel about all the stuff that's coming out about Hef right now? It's disgusting. Yeah. Yeah, it's disgusting.

I mean, there are playmates that I think do things for money and for attention and for fame. And the playmates who really knew Hef and were part of that family, you know, are just completely, it's just vile. And just, you know, let him rest in peace. What the fuck are you guys doing? Yeah. Ripping this man apart and he can't defend himself. Yeah. I have no respect for that shit, you know, at all.

I love that you're standing up for him, though. Yeah. I just love he and, you know, I easter there with my with travis and my children you know i mean he was a wonderful man yeah yeah i love that i love that you're taking a stance especially in a time where it's easy to go fuck off into the sunset seriously gross gross he did so much for so many women yeah so much and and if any of those women were homeless or had a drug addiction he would have he would have housed them taken care of them and gotten them sober it's disgusting for them to do that yeah i never knew that i never knew that he um rehabbed women like yes he did well numerous crazy so after you

did playboy you're getting stella's getting her groove back yeah yeah yeah take me on this journey just yeah i met travis like very soon after and it was literally like the minute i got over i never really got over i didn't get over oscar. And it was literally like the minute I got over, I never really got over, I didn't get over Oscar for a decade or so, but the minute I kind of got past it, I was out in Hollywood and my girlfriend was like, I met this guy and his name's Rob,

Skinhead Rob from The Transplants. I remember that, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and she was like, yeah, I met this guy, like come with me, like I was gonna be her wingman. I was like, all right, and we went to this, I think it was called, like, The Standard or something on Sunset. Oh, my. Oh, God.

Yeah. Had a lot of drug nights there. A lot of people did, I think. Fuck. I think I almost died there one night. Oh, my God. No, cocaine and Xanax was a hell of a fucking binge party. Let me tell you.

Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I went there. And she was with Rob And I think like George Clooney was there That night

He was everywhere Back then He was fucking everywhere Back then Dude he used to I can't even believe I'm gonna say this He

When I used to work At the Palms Yeah He would come And group together All the fucking Cocktail waitresses And they would go upstairs

And fuck him Like I was there When it happened I wasn't in the room But I was I was working Yeah he was single I was never one of the Cocktail waitresses and they would go upstairs and fuck him like i was there when it happened i wasn't in the room but i was i was working yeah i was never one of the cocktail waitresses and he was doing his thing no he was george clinton was the man dude yeah like all he had to do was walk by and bitches would pass out yeah yeah dropping their shorts he was a fine motherfucker though he was yeah he was yeah he's still sexy where the fuck is he he got married like disappeared his wife and yeah just doing his thing he's just living the dream he's living the dream go

george go go george go go george go yeah i think i was like talking to him at the bar or something and then you know she introduced me to travis and he had a big mohawk back then and not you know back then no one had mohawks yeah and he was fucking you know he was tatted up pretty not as much now but he was still tatted up pretty pretty uh tight and i was just like i i this is who the fuck i i didn't know who blink 182 was and um and i kind of was like oh i think it was like with oscar like oh that's you jack and i was like oh didn't they have like little people on the mtv music awards on bungee cords like flying around like that's how i like you know remembered him and um what kind of music did you listen to to not know who blink 182 was i i listened to hip-hop and rap okay got

yeah i listened to hip-hop and rap and uh yeah and um r&b gotcha yeah so uh i had no clue and um and i just remember being like wow he's really you know oscar's so clean cut more suits and he doesn't even have tattoos not Not one tattoo. Not one. And I was like, God, this guy's really fucking tattooed. And I was like, all right, I'll be your wingman.

And they were like, oh, he's getting a divorce. He's in the middle of a divorce. Oh, I didn't know that Travis was married before. Yeah, he was married to a girl named Melissa. Just a regular.

Just a regular girl. Yeah, she's a real estate agent today. Nice person. And I was like, I don't want to fucking deal with a guy going through a divorce. Like, Jesus, what a mess. I was like, I'll just be your wingman. George, send me a beer, you know, like that kind of a thing. Go George, go. Yeah. And, uh, so we just like talked and I remember he called me Oscar. Like he was like, what up Oscar? Like kind of teasing me about Oscar.

Cause I was, you know, I was known as Oscar's girlfriend, the gold digger. Right. You know, I was like, OK. And I was like, what? And then the next week, because, you know, you would go to the same club every week. Every Thursday, you went to the same thing. And she was like, I miss that. Because that's how it was back in the day. I loved it. Yeah, we used to have, like, wasted space out here.

Yeah, you were like, Wednesday, we go here. Thursday, we go here. Every week, you know, that's what you did. And my girlfriend was like, I'm going to go meet Rob again. Like, come with me. And I was like, fuck, OK. And I was like, fuck, that's what you did. And my girlfriend was like, I'm going to go meet Rob again. Like, come with me. And I was like, fuck, okay. And I was like. Fuck, I guess I'll go.

I guess I'll go. So I was like, yay. And so I went and Travis was there again. And this time, like, he came up to me and we, like, I'll never forget it. Like, it was something stupid. Like, I was just like, what's your sign? Like, I said it. Like, what's your sign? Or something it like what's your sign or something like that and we just started

talking and then Rob and my girlfriend at the time Natasha we all went to like back to his hotel because he was staying in a hotel to be away from his wife and and we'd like this hotel yeah we might as Travis's hotel we were all just like listening to music and drinking and having fun. And he and I kissed. And I remember like looking, like stepping back and being like, what the fuck was that? Like, holy shit. Like, I just met like the love of my life. And I was like, I'm going to have your baby.

Oh, here we go again. I was like, I'm going to have your baby. And I just knew it. And six months later, I got pregnant. Oh, my goodness. Which I was, but I mean, and I was so madly, I mean, even like, I never thought I would love again or kind of meet that kind of connection. But Travis is definitely more the love of my life,

way more than Oscar. What is Oscar's sign? He's an Aquarius. Okay. Yeah. That's crazy. Aquarius and Aries. And Travis is a Scorpio.

Yeah, which is crazy to me. But if you have a Virgo moon then that makes sense because Virgo and Scorpio are soulmates I would love to see you guys's charts I'm surprised I'm sure somebody's done them online but um yeah do you feel like you and Travis were twin flames oh 100 because you guys had like a long tumultuous relationship yeah people don't even realize how long after they're like, Oh, they got divorced in 2008. I'm like, yeah,

we lived with each other, like a married couple to like almost 2012. Yeah. Yeah. People don't know that. Take me on this journey. You and Travis kiss. What happens after that?

You guys just instantly, like instantly connected. And he was touring with the transplants and I would drive to his house like every weekend and we would just see each other as much as possible and I just was I mean we just were together I mean did he love bomb you as much as he loved bombs we were the we were the OG love bombers I remember do you get deja vu Courtney please like I do remember watching that was just like I was like oh Christ you know like this is hard to watch.

Well, he definitely has a pattern. You know, it's what I think. I feel like it was a little more acceptable when you guys did it. Yeah. Because it felt more real. Yeah. You know, and I'm not talking shit about them. I'm just saying, like, you guys did do it first.

And it was just more accepted back then, too. Yeah. And, you know, we got our, you know, I got pregnant six months later. And. Were you guys living together by then? Basically. Already? Yeah. I told him on Valentine's Day.

And, yeah, we just, we were just, it was really one of the happiest times of my life. No. Yeah. And when we had Landon, we had Landon. And then that's when MTV came to us and asked us if, you know, the newlyweds were going off and asked us if we wanted to meet the Barkers. And back then, you know, reality TV was so new. I mean, you had the Osbournes and you had the newlyweds.

That was really it. Yeah. There was no other, you know, they were the pioneers of reality TV. So that's when we did meet the Barkers. And that, you know, that was really, I watch those episodes now and I'm like, who are those people? It's crazy. It's like another lifetime ago. watched all all the original reality tv the newlyweds meet the barkers and uh the osbournes loved all of it and i feel like that's when tv was fucking great yeah and because

back then it wasn't scripted right i mean they really just had two teams of people following you around with cameras that was your life yeah and you didn't have to get you know legal to say, you can go eat in that restaurant or you can go into that store. People, you know, have to sign their lives away. You could just you just went to that store. You know, I know how TV shows are shot and I know that they're edited and, you know, they're there. There's always a narrative that they want to paint. Exactly. How do you feel about people always saying that? Oh, Shane, all she did was ever lay in bed. Oh's so fucking annoying it's so fucking annoying because i'm like what do you guys think i'm like narcoleptic or something like it was supposed to be funny it was supposed to be like a little like it was supposed to be entertaining you know it was supposed to be like a funny part i mean that

bed looked comfortable as fuck i i look man i love my beds i i love my beds and i do love sleeping um i do have chronic fatigue like I was diagnosed with that when I was like 19 so when I work when I first start any work schedule I usually relapse and it's very very hard for me to like function and get up and and I you know get real irritable with people but I you know what they don't understand is that I was the one rockin babies all fucking night long right so I So I would, Travis wasn't. He was on tour, and he was at the time,

he also had a pretty heavy pill addiction, you know, that he's been very open and candid about. I didn't know that at the time. I was so naive. I didn't even realize it. You didn't know that he was an addict? No. No, I didn't know at all.

What was he taking, like, Lortabs? That was the era. He was taking, like, Darvisets or, like, Narcos or something. Oh, Narcos. Yeah, okay. Narcos or something yeah something like that like loved a good norco back in the day yeah I'm like I don't even like I don't even know you know if I took a nor I'd like throw up now yes I would too but back then that's what I used to look for because they had less aspirin in them than the blue pills okay I'm like I have no clue

like I didn't even know he was like on him you know he just but that's how he functioned you know and um but I would be you know the the cameras would stop rolling they'd leave around 10 o'clock at night and then you know Travis would go to bed but I would have to go put like Atiana in her bed and I'd put on like you know a movie and then I would go and like rock Landon and mind you I was pregnant and then you know I'd rock Landon and then I'd go lay down with Atiana until she fell asleep and then I would go lay down and then one of them would wake up like five minutes later you know and then I would go rock the baby and then I'd go lay down with Atiana until she fell asleep. And then I would go lay down and then one of them would wake up like five minutes later. You know, and then I would go rock the baby and then I would go, you know, lay down with her. And then when I had Alabama on the show, well, then I had to go put Atiana down, go rock Alabama, you know, you know, then go rock Landon.

And then one of the, you know, I was constantly, so by the time like our nanny would come at like eight in the morning and the crew would show up I was exhausted you know and it was like I need to sleep I've been up all night like working the great yeah you know so I mean so when people say that all the time like oh you're a deadbeat I think I did one episode where the nanny came in and I the nanny stayed the night right and I actually got like I was like I need to get like eight hours of sleep, like a solid eight hours of sleep. Like I can't have it

broken up every three hours, which you do with the newborn and stuff. And so I had Liz, who's still with us to this day. Yeah. She came over

and they filmed it and they asked her, they, she can't, on Meet the Barkers, they filmed her and I said, how were they last night you know so all the people at home thought that i had a fucking nanny the entire the entire time

every night and it was just like one night and then it's like i'm a deadbeat mom that never like who slept and never took care of her kids that's exactly why i wanted to ask that question because i i know being in the industry and having to film our reality show that we do yeah fucking i know exactly that there's always more to the story. And I don't think people comprehend, people on the other side of the keyboard don't comprehend that what you see on TV is completely edited. Yes,

it's real. Yeah. But it's completely chopped up and edited and there's so much to make a storyline to entertain you. It's supposed to, you know, it was supposed to be funny. Yes. But you know, it, and you don't see. Yeah, to make a storyline, to entertain you. It was supposed to be funny. Yes.

But I honestly think, and I think the worst thing you can do to a woman is to shit on her as a mother. Yeah. I think it's really one of the cruelest and most vile things. And I honestly can't imagine going up to a stranger or to a person or going online

and saying to someone, you're a fucking piece of shit mother you're a deadbeat mother like yeah i don't fucking know you from a hole in the wall i can't imagine saying that to a stranger and and saying that to them about you don't know what's going on in someone's home what's going on with their husband and people you know because we had that show they and i know i'm a public person and you know and it's like and you know I put myself in that position but at the same time fuck you you don't get to do that this is where I stand up for us and I have been standing up to online bullies and they fucking hate it just because we are open

online does not give you the right you're right to tear us apart for no fucking reason they're like well you're a celebrity you should be able to handle it how about go fuck yourself you'd never say this to my face yeah exactly you know i'd stand up to the bullies and i don't fucking like it and instagram is the worst like i i can't go live right oh get on tiktok girl you ain't seen nothing yet yeah yeah well instagram's like the well i mean in the way that they don't defend you oh at all like you know i told someone to like go fuck themselves or i called him a bitch the other day, you know, shooting on my daughter, like or shooting on me as a mother or something, you know, and I just was like, bitch, get off my page. Yeah. 30 days.

And it's like and it's just I know they probably have a computer that's just like I said the word bitch. So, yeah, I can't go live for 30 days. But it's like, did you see the comment? Yeah. That person blocked. Is that person, you know, is there any repercussions for these people's actions for that? Like, you know, what if I what if I wasn't as strong as i am and i go fucking blow my brains out like you know do you like i i don't i don't understand it it's really you know it's it's but i back to

what i was saying i honestly think criticizing women like that especially as a mother is really the grossest and lowest form of harassment you can do to a woman. I could never go to somebody's page and just say anything mean. And if I don't like you, I don't want to go to your page. Yeah. Even if I don't agree with it, I'm just like, and keep scrolling.

You know, I don't have to, to word vomit on this person's page just to make myself feel better. If I don't like something, I don't view it. I don't go to their pages. I scroll on by, you know,

like absolutely. I don't pay attention to it, but you know, it's, I mean people, and I used to, when my was big. Yeah in the day. I love myspace We never had problems. We have the top fucking a we have we could put music on our profiles We could design our profiles. It was so Tom didn't fucking fuck with us. Nobody got violations Yes, like bring myspace back please tom where the fuck are you timber

like bought it justin bring it back yeah i think tom followed me on fucking tiktok and i was more excited about that than fucking like i matched with him on on a dating app tom you dirty boy you yeah he was on the. You only get like three people a day. And he's like, yes, it's really me. Oh, my God. That is so funny. We never talk. It was the same picture.

And I was like, is this really the Tom? Oh, my God. That's weird. I would love to see Tom in person. I got to get Tom on the podcast. All right. So moving back to meet the Barkers. Is that kind of where you guys' relationship started falling apart a little bit a little bit towards like the end of the season i think what really happened

or really started to affect our relationship which is the irony to this day for me is he didn't want to be known as like a couple or a reality star he wanted to be known as a musician right which i understand and i respected 1000 you know and you know back then i was like you know i i want to do as a musician, which I understand. And I respected 1,000%. And back then, I was like, I want to do all the things that you see reality stars doing now. I wanted to start a clothing line and a brand. And he was just so against all of it. He was so punk rock.

And that was so against what he had. But he had Famous Stars and Straps. Yeah, he did. Or Stripes. But that was, yeah, Straps, Famous Stars and Stripes. But that was its own company. He wasn't using the TV show he had already created that you know um he wasn't an opportunist with the tv show and um and uh and so you know he's we kind of put an end to it so isn't that the point of

having a reality show though to capitalize off to capitalize and i'm not talking shit i'm just saying like i would think that you would want to capitalize off to capitalize and i'm not talking shit i'm just saying like i would think that you would want to capitalize off whatever you could especially with the attention that you guys were getting yeah and i i just think for him you know he was the star and i think when it became about us like as a couple and i wanted to be like a power couple you know and he he didn't want that he wanted to like you know i think he was used to being the man in the center and the musician. And he wanted to be known and taken seriously as a serious musician. And that I could respect. But that's kind of like where it like it started to decline.

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slash promos it started after the affair with paris hilton okay yeah and here comes paris again yeah there comes paris and i had already got like mind you in that club I had gotten Paris Hilton's face you know like well when when Oscar and I were having a conversation she bippity-bopped in and I was like aren't you fucking this one here aren't you fucking this one she was like I don't even know him I'm like yeah you do and so she leaves and you know he and I continued arguing Oscar and I left so she and I had already had words like that night. And then, yeah, I don't know. He and I were arguing and we kind of like separated. But we were still living in the same house. How did you know he was having an affair with Paris?

They caught him like making out on camera. Oh, gotcha. And it was like all over TMZ and everything. And I was just like, wow. I feel like back then Paris was the party girl. And I don't feel like she really even knew what the fuck was going on because i i had met paris a few times out here and every time i met her she was sloshed dude yeah and i'm not making excuses for her no we were all partying and fucking doing our own thing but 100 she was a kid like yeah i mean and i was a kid i mean i was

probably 26 27 and she was like i think like 17 years old or something yeah she's yeah she was young yeah she was young a lot of these men had taken advantage of her absolutely i i would agree with that 100 yeah 100 but um yeah she i remember this is the big incident with her um we uh i i was i was doing dancing with the stars and i think Bama was like six months old, and the dancers back then, all the famous ones now, couldn't get into the clubs, and they needed me to get them into the clubs.

So we went over, there was like Hyde on Sunset, and then there was this other club, and... God, I remember Hyde. Yeah, yeah, awful. And I was just there for the first time since this incident like last week for jason momoa's vodka launch party not for him but vodka i was like he was there but i've known him

since he was 19 but like can you guys never hooked up no no no no no no i've known him since he's single now since he was a model i mean he's cute yeah he was like young elvis when you know when he first moved to la it was like a model and stuff but yeah anyway um but uh yeah so we were i was at this one club and my girlfriend came up to me she was actually at that party and she was like you you need to leave and she was like mind you i'm married to travis and she was like um travis and paris are coming in like you need to leave and I was like and so were you guys weren't split at the time we were separated he was like I think doing the whole hotel thing oh yeah when I was at the house with the baby gotcha and I

only I wasn't gonna go out that night I just went to get those other dancers those kids into the club and and so when i went down so i went down to hide and um and i was just like doing my thing and um and cheryl burke i'll never forget this came in and was like paris is here and i was like why is she here she was just making out with my husband at the fucking bar down the road you know and um and then i i was like you know what i'm just gonna leave i'm going home like i can't i gotta get the fuck out of here this is you know what, I'm just going to leave. I'm going home. Like, I can't, I got to get the fuck out of here. This is, you know, it's humiliating to be asked to leave. And then, you know, this, you know, whatever. And there she was with Stavros. She was making out with Stavros.

Yeah, she was with him. Yeah, she was making out with him. And I was like, I have a fucking six-month-old at home. And I have a fucking, like, two-year-old and a five-year-old kid. And you're fucking making out with my husband a block down and now you're making out with this dude you don't even love my husband you're destroying my family and you're even fucking love him you know it's not even like this is your soulmate or you're you think you're

gonna have something with him and I'm sure you were really hurt I was destroyed I was destroyed and I I went up to her and and I was like you're you're a real fucking bitch and she looked at me and she went you're she used her voice you know her voice that she does and she went you're a fucking bitch and i just went at it and um you punched her in the jaw right i yeah and i was good allegedly allegedly yeah and i was about to go at it and stavros fucking shoved me um down like if the staircase and if like there weren't people coming up the staircase i probably would have rolled down

the stairs and fucking died and then um yeah and he came up to me and he got in my face he poured a drink on my head he got in my he had like my wrist and was like bending it back and i need him in the in the nuts to get him like away from me and um sam like the owner and stuff, they were all yelling at me. And they basically shoved me out the door, the front door to the paparazzi. And that's what all that footage is. If you Google, it's terrible. And I had to walk from that fucking bar

down to the other bar to go get my car. While paparazzi's following you. Yeah, the paparazzi was chasing me. It was terrible. So that was kind of the end of it all but and then he went to um Paris which is in his book um it's kind of like and he was with Paris and at the time I guess he was talking to Kim too I don't know I think that's when they first started talking as friends and um and he came back he got flown back from uh tour because he was so fucked up on drugs and i got him sober

and i remember telling uh like his friend little so even after all of this um even after you know the situation with paris and stuff like that um and then you know knowing about the kim situation i didn't know about kim at that point you didn't know about him at that point okay gotcha um he still came back to you he came back yeah hey i really need help i have a problem and i helped him and i told little chris i was like you in paris was still trying to call him i was like i was like look at your fucking friend right now look at him that's that's what you do your friend don't bring another fucking drug into this house right don't you do it you know and um it was like some johnny cash type shit you know like i mean i was egging people's cars and

stuff like you know like whose cars did you hate his man like his assistant you know trying to pick him up to take him out to meet bitches and give him drugs you know everyone wanted to be a rock star they all wanted you know they needed him to go party and drink and meet bitches and feel cool right you know but he had a family and you know you're trying to help him heal you know trying to yeah so and we got back together and we were trying to heal over that I actually helped create the girls line of famous stars and straps and I did all the campaigns and I got all my playmate friends and you know Adrienne Curry and Tiffany John Tiffany yeah I think Johnson it's a model you know big models and stuff and

I did all the women's line and stuff and then that's when Kim came in and she was just starting they didn't have their show or anything wasn't Kim Kim was best friends with Paris with Paris yeah it was like the two of them had like a like a who can we fuck competition in LA you know like you know whose husband can we fuck you know like, like, it was pretty crazy. I mean, they really did. It was like wild. It was like, that's why today when they have issues now, I'm like, oh, you know. And I always say this.

Well, life always comes back around. It always, yeah. And like I said, and I'm not defending their actions. They were so young. They were. And I mean, I've done shit that I fucking completely regret that I did in my 20s. Now that I'm in my 40s I'm like why did

I do that yeah yeah for me it's like hey you did what you did yeah you know at least just say sorry or yeah that's yeah that's fine but it's like you know don't be shocked when you you know when you when you deal with an angry wife yeah is that tiktok sound you're shocked yeah yeah yeah so Kim came in and then what happened there so she shot for famous stars and straps and this was the first time that he handled the shoot gotcha my mind you she's wearing the stuff i designed you know and i was just like why is this girl on your because i associated her with paris and you know and i was like why is this girl on your computer like why what's going on and he was like oh i just you know she's up and coming and i just wanted to like you know get involved

and stuff and i knew, things were getting weird. And at that time, we were still, like, you know, kind of working on things. And I had a house in the same neighborhood. And so we were, like, going back and forth to each other's homes. And someone anonymously and randomly texted me their conversations. And I'm pretty sure it was Paris. I'm pretty sure it was Paris. I don't know.

So somebody just texts you from a random number and it's screenshots? Yeah, of all Travis and Kim's conversations. And what were those like? They were trying to meet up at her sister's house to fuck. Which sister? I don't know. Oh.

I don't know. Wouldn't that be crazy if it was Courtney? Yeah, I know. I know. I think Courtney for sure. How would that person have gotten those screenshots? That's crazy. Someone got in her phone for sure.

Wow. And I remember I went to the house, and I showed them to him, and I was bawling. I was just so – I was just fucking broken again. It's exhausting. I've been in relationships like that, and it's like – it just tears you down as a human and as a woman. Your self-esteem is just shot at this point I just and I wanted I wanted

you know I felt like such a failure with Oscar I wanted this relationship to work and you know we did get married and we had a successful tv show and you know and I was so in love with him and so happy and I wanted to have what my parents had for my children I wanted my children to see their mother and father in love and to walk in on them dancing and have what I had. And I just knew I wasn't going to be able to give my children that at that moment. And I showed him the text messages and he deleted them. And so I said, I don't see anything. And I was like, we're going to do this.

Like, we're going to do this. I mean, that's the biggest admission of guilt. Yeah. And then she called. I called her. We had words. And she just said to me that she didn't like white guys. She only dated black guys.

And I was like, Kim, you'll fuck anyone to be famous. Like you really will. And you fucked, you know, that little singer boy and you, you know, and you, you fucked the NSYNC kid, you fucked the NSYNC kid, you know, or whatever. Who, which NSYNC kid? I think she, she was with, um, I don't know all their names and stuff. Yeah, I don't know. Um, you can Google it. Yeah. It's google it yeah it's out there yeah yeah for sure it's definitely out there but i was like

you'll fuck anyone to be famous you know because they didn't have their show yet and then they just got their show and then travis and i really um never really recovered from that yeah well it's hard because that was multiple times and just as a woman it's like your self-pride and your dignity. I felt stupid. I was like, you're just making me look dumb, you know, like. Over and over. You know, over and over. So I filed for divorce.

What year is this? 2008. 2008. So you filed for divorce from Travis. Yeah. Take me on this. You're starting over again. But this time you've got three babies.

Yes. We're starting over again. I go back to my house. He gets into a plane crash. And, well, we actually started working on things again. We started talking. This is where the twin flame thing comes in. Yeah, we started working on things again.

And I guess things, you know, according to his book, everyone can read it, you know, they decided that, you know, they would just be friends. But, you know, I think there's a lot more going on there. But I mean, if you read his book, when people read his book, you know, there's TikToks and stuff about it, too. And I'm like, he was fucking married. Like, you know, I mean, I caught him with like Lindsay Lohan, Kimberly Stewart, Tara

Connor, fucking Paris Kim. Like, you know, he, you know, he was living the rock star life, you know, so. But, you know, we always came back to each other and that's why i always say twin flames because no matter what you guys went through you guys always came back yeah do you think that he'll come back again if things don't work out with him and courtney i don't know you know would you let him come back i don't know i read people ask me that you know i'll always love him i'll always love him immensely and deeply and um I'm not bitter or jealous I I don't know him anymore right I really don't I don't I don't know him as a human being anymore at all so if I ever did hang out with him I would have to relearn him relearn

him and and get to know him as just a friend first and as a person you know but I'm as the father of my children and as just as someone that I I look back fondly on some of the most amazing memories of my life I'll always love him for sure yeah so he gets in this plane crash yeah which was a brutal plane crash I was at the house we were together at that time so this is after you filed for divorce? Yeah, after, yeah, we're not, but now we're rekindling, we were talking about getting remarried. And he, he had just finished tour,

and he had to go do this show with DJ AM in North Carolina, and he didn't wanna go, they got a private jet, and he was like, you know, mama, this jet is really little, and I was like, you know, and he wanted me to go, they got a private jet. And he was like, you know, Mama, this jet is really little. And I was like, you know, and he wanted me to go on it. And I had this really weird feeling in the kitchen, and it was so strange. And I remember going, if we both die,

who's going to take care of my kids? I remember just having that thought. And I was like, my mom and dad are too old, and his mom and dad are too old, and who's who's gonna raise my children like his sister like what like what's gonna happen right and i just said you know honey i don't i don't want to go like i think i should stay back with the kids and i was like you know you're gonna want to go play and come home and i'm gonna want to go and party you know and you're not gonna want to and it's gonna be a big fight and and uh i was like just go and come come back, and let's start our life together.

And he was like, okay. But he took the plane there, and he did the show, and he wanted to get back, and DJ AM had another show, and he was supposed to stay another night and fly home commercially. But DJ AM wanted to come back for a gig, and so they voted on getting this plane, basically. And he was like, I'm going to come home early. And I remember when he got there, he was like, honey,

I have a really bad feeling about this plane. And I was like, you say that about every plane. We both say this about every plane. That's how I am every time we're about to get on a flight. I was the same way yesterday. I was about to cry on the plane. I sat next to a pilot. Until Dita Von Deese showed up.

And I was like, we're both not going down, Dita. Not today. The gothic angel arrived. Yes. Yeah down dita not not today gothic angel arrived yes yeah dita the angel the airline angel arrived but um yeah so he uh it was so weird because i felt like he he called me 15 minutes later after the plane crashed and um and i i felt like they just landed i don't know how to explain it to you it felt like hours went by and they like and i in alabama was in the bed, and it was so weird.

Alabama sat up, and she went, Mommy, where's little Chris? And I went, Where's little Chris? I was like, Little Chris is with Daddy, honey. Like, lay down. Go back to sleep. And I was watching a movie, and I got a call, and it was a paramedic or a police officer, and he was like, Ma'am, is this Shane Moakler?

And I was like, Yeah. And he's like, There's been a terrible plane crash. And I said, and I thought they were fucking around, like joking, and I was like, ma'am, is this Shane Moakler? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, there's been a terrible plane crash. And I said, and I thought they were fucking around, like joking. And I was like, that's not funny. You know, like, I don't think that's a funny joke. And he's like, no, ma'am, there's been a bad accident. And I was like, guys, it's not funny. And he goes, ma'am, I am deputy blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And there's been a horrible plane accident. You need to listen to me. And then I heard Travis screaming. And he was screaming, I'm he was screaming I'm on fire I'm on fire and and he's like we need to airlift him to the Atlanta something and he didn't want to and then I talked to him and he was like they're all gone like little Chris is gone they're gone and and and he didn't want to get on another like an airlift so they blame him so they drove him you know I mean and he was burned on like 70 of his body and uh and i um i think i packed like a shoe and a remote control and a

battery and i fucking flew to yeah in that moment you know like whatever so out of it and um and i was with him for the first like three four weeks um there and um in in atlanta and then we took a tour bus back from Atlanta to the burn center in Los Angeles and and I was there with him there for the first like two three weeks and this is where it went bad we got his computer to I've never shared this with anyone before so it it's kind of crazy uh i got his computer and uh and we were doing it so the kids could facetime with him because mind you the kids hadn't seen their dad now for almost a month and a half and uh we just and we were hoping that him seeing the kids would also give him the strength to keep fighting right you know and uh was he

fighting like infection and stuff like that he didn't have infections but just the pain just the just the what they had to do and what he had to endure surgeries and the removal of skin and just it was really fucking horrifying um i i wouldn't have lived and i was supposed to be on that plane you know i would have and we definitely wouldn't have lived because there were four guys and we would have let them have the back of the plane and travis and i probably would have sat in the front and we wouldn't have had our seatbelts on and we would have, we would have died for sure. So, um, yeah, I always think about that. But, um, uh, when I was setting up his computer and he FaceTime with the kids, but, um,

and he was getting a blood transfusion and I looked in his email and I saw all the emails from all the women. Oh, goodness. And I just like, and that didn't bother me as much as back then you had to, when you went to TMZ and you wrote a comment, right, what TMZ will do, you write a comment and then they'll email you a link and you have to click the link to approve the comment. You can write, you know, Bob or Cindy Lou or whatever you want, but you still have to send it to an email and then you have to click the link um to approve the comment you can write you know bob or cindy lou or whatever you want but you have to still you still have to send it to an email and then you have to click

the link and then tmz will will you know approve it and i saw all these comments in his email that he was posting about me on tmz about what a shitty mother i was and chris little chris about what a shitty mother i was and what a terrible person I was and you know and I had even read some of them and I couldn't fucking believe that he was the one behind some of those comments wow and I left the hospital it'll make you like cry just to say I love the hospital that's so hurtful yeah and I I went home and I cried in my mother's arms for like hours it was terrible I was like it's. And so that's when I was like. Because this is a man that you love, that you're literally.

And I'm like by his side, like, you know, like I flew to be by his side. And I just fucking was like, I can't go back. And I called his drum tech and the godfather of our children. I was like, I'm not coming back to the hospital. And I'm like, and this is why. And I need to like, I need to figure some shit out.

And I granted looking back now I probably should have just fucking ate or licked my wounds and been by his side while he was still recovering from that but at that time I felt like he there's only like two people allowed into the room and he was in LA and he had his father and his sisters and he had a huge hundreds of people were going to the hospital and visiting him every father and his sisters and he had a huge, hundreds of people were going to the hospital and visiting him every day. And I felt like he had a good support system. And for me, I just was like destroyed. And, um, do you feel like he held that against you? And that was kind of like ammo for his arsenal and later on for sure. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, and, you know, and so I just was going out getting drunk, you know, and I think like they, they took

pictures of me with like, I, I, I was friends with Gerard Butler. And I think they took pictures of me. I was friends with Gerard Butler. I had known him since I was like 20. And now I'm like, I guess I'm like 34 at this point. And I saw him at a club. And the paparazzi took pictures of us. And they made it seem like I was kissing him and stuff. But I wasn't.

And then Travis saw that. And then we just never really recovered. It's crazy when they can do it. But if you do. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Men are. Yeah. I'm sorry that you went through that. And that's very hurtful. And I don't think that you should have had to have licked your wounds. And, you know, I understand most women would be like, well, she should have. So are most people would be like, oh, she should have sucked it up. No. When you've already been through so much hurt with somebody. Sure. There's always that one thing that happens that literally breaks the straw of the camel's back yeah that's how i

am in relationships like i'll give and i'll give and i'll give yeah and then if something happened it could be the fucking smallest thing which that was a big thing for you but it could be the smallest thing and i'll be like i'll never talk to this person again yeah exactly you know yeah well we ended up talking yeah i know you guys are just it's just because you guys really loved each other and i really feel like we could always feel the chemistry between travis and you like it was just real it was i feel like you and travis are going both of you are going to be searching for that connection that you guys have for the rest of your lives whether you guys i am i'm still searching for that connection that you guys have for the rest of your lives. Whether you guys,

I'm still searching for it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm single. So I mean, but men are men and I, you know, him and his other situation could be very happy and you know,

whatever. But it's just when you have a love like that with somebody, it's very hard to ever. Yes, for sure. Yeah. It's a once in a lifetime kind of a love. Yeah, absolutely. So even after he hurt you you still went back we got back together and i'll never forget it was the

first he got out of the hospital but he was still like on a lot of medications and very and still healing and um and he wanted to go to a restaurant and And I said, okay. And I remember watching him. It was the first time I had seen him since I stopped going to the hospital. And he got out of the car and he grabbed Alabama and he took her out of the car. And he looked fucked up. Like, he just looked like he has been through it. You know, he had, like, a beard and, you know. And I remember him grabbing our daughter.

And I just was like, that's it. I'm done. Like, I'm going to heal this family. I'm going to heal this marriage. I'm going to let all this shit go and all this hurt and this pain and these affairs and everything. And I'm going to love this man and I'm going to make this family right. And that's what I tried to do. I like cooked for him and I helped give his medications and I wiped his balls and I changed his dressings and I was there for him, you know.

And and he just was like convinced because of the Gerard Butler that I like cheated on him. You know, I was convinced that I did that. Stop being a Scorpio, Travis. Yeah, like just convinced. And he just like, you know, and we were trying to date again, but we just like there's just so much water. And he just like, you know, and we were trying to date again, but we just like. There was just so much water. There was just so much. And we just couldn't, we just, we couldn't do it. And, but we, we ended up living together, you know, and like. Was it just as friends?

Were you guys still fucking? Yeah, we were co-parents, you know, like. But were you guys still banging and like. No, but we were just so in love with each other, but couldn't. Just didn't want to let go. Didn't know how to do it. And so, and we wanted to like you know be like there for our kids and so we lived together like a couple I think till like almost 2014 wow you know and

then till I met a my ex-boyfriend Brian who was a hell's angel and uh and then I got kind of serious with him and then I was like okay I don't think we should be living together anymore like we're not together you don't want to work on this I can't be living with you like you know like you should have your days and I should have my days and we did what was like a nesting agreement where at first we you know we lived together all the time and then we did where the kids stayed in one house and then I would go to the house like Monday to Wednesday and then he would go to the house like you know Wednesday to Sunday and then but the kids would stay in the same place and we would go from our houses to that one house I love how the kids were always the focal point though for sure like

always whatever happened no matter what we've been through we're gonna try to fucking make this work that I mean that was the one thing and to this day it's the one thing that he and I agree on is our kids and just trying to give them the best life possible absolutely yeah so you move on he moves on yeah is it over from there so from yeah it's over i mean i stopped talking to him about around 2014 we didn't and we started following each other right before he and courtney i don't know how long they've been together maybe two or three years i'm not sure and then when he's got with Courtney we we stopped even just being cordial we co-parent you know if there's something I mean my oldest daughter's 24 she doesn't you know people still shit on me

to this day like raise your kids I'm like I have a grown adult like I have my daughter is 24 years old yeah she's a young adult so like I don't like need to rear her anymore you know like let want me to change your fucking diapers like you're like i already had a baby yeah my son's like my first divorce at 24 i'm like he's living with his girlfriend what do you want me to do go what a handsome kid he's they're both just so cute all of them are so beautiful thank you so much i'm really proud of them and i'm he's so talented they're all talented and then alabama she's gonna be 18 you know on christmas eve this month so it's like she is your fucking twin yeah she's and and internally too she's like me you

know she's she has that tenacity and doesn't give a fuck and just yeah it's so ambitious and like you know people hate on her i mean you want to talk about bullying a fucking kid that kid has got it since she was 12 and she does not care yeah yeah i mean she's been raised in it yeah so it's like it's probably second skin to her you know yeah yeah but still no child deserves to be bullied like that no child yeah ever yeah how does it make you feel whenever they did take to like public platforms and kind of talk shit about how you didn't raise them and stuff like that were you guys just a heated argument and it was kid shit or i feel at the time when travis got with courtney um there was like some parental alienation going on there where you know i you have to understand too you know travis even when we weren't together always wanted

to be the super dad i'm the best parent i'm the this and that and i'm like bro you win like you're the winner here like you have all the money and you have all the this, like you're the winner, you know? Give the drummer some, you know? Like you're the, you win. Like I'm not competing with you, you know? Like, but I think, you know, when the Kardashians first came around,

they were enamored just as like young kids would be enamored by them. And I think there was a lot of glitter and fame and you know, they watched them on TV and now their dad's dating one and they're going to be on the show. And, you know, and I think they got caught up in that, you know, which young kids would do. And, you know, they're buying them Prada and they're buying them gifts and they're going to these events and they're meeting Kanye and they're, you know, all this big stuff. And I can't

give them that. I don't have that. I don't have access to that. I don't have the money to do that. I can't buy you guys Prada every, you know, other week and stuff. I can't do it. And my house isn't a mansion like Travis. I don't have a movie theater. I don't have golf carts for kids to drive around. He's fun dad. Yeah, you know, he's everything, you know.

And so I think comments were made, and I think they were influenced. And it was hurtful. And it was, you know, and I've had were influenced and um and it was hurtful and it was you know and it was like you know and I've had conversations with them since and they you know they've apologized but I'm not going to take one comment that my angry teenage kid says to me and and now all of a sudden 24 hours I'm a fucking deadbeat mom no like they all know I'm not we all know the truth I go to bed at night I sleep very very well um with who I am as a woman and as a mother and how I raised my children and you know and and I think now as time's marching on I think they're seeing things and they're realizing and as they become young

adults they're like yeah they see they see through things that they didn't before yeah no I get it teenagers will be teenagers I went through it with our daughter who's going to be 16 yeah yeah you know she she was like yeah we went through a rough patch this last summer and it's like that's just how kids are yeah yeah i mean what fucking teenage girl gets along with their mom yeah yeah you know very rarely very very rarely and i you know and at one point i just was like you know what the the difference between a lot of people is you know that shit was all getting played out in the press with one of the biggest most powerful families in the world you know and I'm I don't and and they're a they're a media machine they own the fucking media yeah I don't so I just got fucking hammered and bullied and just you know and over my fucking

kids who does that who does that to someone over and to with their own children fuck you that family you're disgusting have so they haven't ever been welcoming to you no and i would never ever want to know them ever like and you know and i'm tired of people shitting on me i don't have to like that fucking family right people do not have to like that family you don't like just because the media shoves them down your throat does not mean that you have to like that there are people that don't like that family don't watch that fucking show and don't give a fuck what Kim Kardashian is doing with her ass there are people that don't care I don't fucking care and I'm not afraid of them and I don't like them but what I did do is I removed myself I

removed myself so that they couldn't let my they couldn't bond with my children over hating me and i removed myself and i took a step back and i was like you know what go do what you guys need to do and when you're ready i will be here loving you unconditionally and i will be here as your mother and i will wait and that's what i did that's what a real mom does yeah you gotta let your kids kind of fall and um you know figure it out for themselves because in the end they'll respect you more than trying to control the narrative. Exactly.

Yeah. You know, so. Yeah. Yeah. Good. So you're, you're, so everybody, the relationship is great. Yes. My kids and I are good.

They're doing good. Yes. They're doing good. And everything, everything, you know, this year, like I said, has been a little, little rocky for me with the loss of my parents and you know and I had another pretty bad breakup and yeah let's move on to that so Matthew you're talking about Matthew yeah Matthew yeah that was

a public breakup also that was a public breakup too you guys were together for three years almost three years yeah yeah and I love him I love him very much yeah yeah I'll always I'll always really care and love him we quarantine together and you know, I'll always really care and love him. We quarantined together.

And there's something about when you quarantine with someone. I was watching your stories during quarantine. Oh, God, we were so drunk. We just talked, actually, last night. And we were laughing about quarantine. We were like, wow, we really did the damn thing. So are you guys friends now? Because I do know.

We're working on being friends. It's probably got to be hard to get back with somebody who has slandered you in the public eye the way that he did too yeah it's like you can't trust i'm just so used to being slandered at this point by everybody i'm like i'm like whatever you're like what who else wants to shit on me let's bring it let's go you know so yeah yeah um so you guys split and you guys are definitely just not yeah he's on the east coast and i'm on the west coast and you know i don't know what i'm doing in life right now i'm just kind of like floating and kind of just putting my my my journey in the hands of god and in the universe because i i've just i've suffered so much loss this year that i really don't know and i really don don't, even career-wise, I don't even know what I want to do.

And I'm not stressing myself out about it. I'm just kind of allowing myself grace and to heal. Shaina, you deserve a break. Thanks. You have been going at it since you were a teenager. Pageants, pregnancy, divorces,ces drama like you spent a ride you probably need to take two years of just peace and healing and sitting be still yeah you know I get a lot of my fan base is a lot of women who are divorced and single or going through breakups and you know

they ask me like how how do you do it how do you you know and it's like you just gotta feel it you just gotta feel that pain and you gotta feel that hurt and and it's not fun and it's uncomfortable and you know I tell some of my some of my fans like you know some days I get up and I make a coffee and that's a good day you know that's a good day I got up and you know I was able to do that for myself you know so now it's like that's all I'm doing is I'm just trying to like just heal you have a lot of hurt and I can see it in your eyes whenever you talk about it do you do therapy have you considered going to no I don't like I don't like therapy I don't like it but I um I I definitely am doing the self-work and you know the shadow

the shadow work the shadow work I definitely do do that I mean I do a lot of meditations yeah saves me yeah yeah I do lots of visualization and meditations I do a lot of journaling I do I do a lot of like you know self centering work and I know I'll get through it I'll overcome it but I think with the losing my mother and father, that was like my, that's where I went to heal, you know, that's where I went. And so I have to kind of learn how to heal without that. And that in itself is its own journey. I feel like you are always there for everybody else. And who's ever there for Shane? Yeah, it's okay. But it's not like it and like, you know, we can laugh about it and smile through our pain. But at the same time, it's like you deserve to be able to just take time off and just, you know, fall in love with yourself.

Absolutely. Yeah. Just fucking do what you got to do to fucking just. Yeah. At this point, you've raised your babies. Exactly. You're good. Yeah.

You've done the mom shit. Yeah. You've done the acting. You've done everything. And I still have, you know, I still believe in love and i still have hope like you know i i think there is that person like out there for me and marriage i love marriage um but i i definitely know that i don't want to go into another relationship broken i want to be like healed and i want to you know you know the next relationship i do get into i want it to be one where I understand boundaries

and I understand communication and, and all that stuff and, and break this, that, that sort of narcissistic cycle. Yeah. You know, you sweet baby. Well, Shana, it has been amazing talking to you. Thank you so much. You have such a great story, dude. Thank you. Thank you. I feel like, like we're best friends now. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like we've had moments I felt like that before I even met you but you just you give that energy too I love that yeah it's awesome I appreciate that and I want you to come back come back and visit me and sit on this podcast and talk about whatever you want I'm excited to see what you do next and thank you thank you you know like you're just you're a precious commodity to the world and I want you to know that thank. Why don't you tell everybody where they can find you at?

Yeah, you can find me pretty much on all social media platforms. It's just my name. So at Shayna Mochler on Instagram. Wait, we forgot to talk about one thing. Okay. You have an OnlyFans. I do have an OnlyFans. Yes, I do.

We got to make mama money. Yeah, make, yes. Go visit my OnlyFans. Yes. Yeah, I love it. I don't do anything like pornographic. I don't do anything, like, pornographic. I don't, like, I don't masturbate. But God, if you did.

Yeah. You would probably. I made millions on OF. I could only imagine if you fucking went down that road. Would you ever go down that road? Or no? No, I don't think it's, like, for me. But I do, like, what I basically, like, Playboy style stuff. You know, I do what I basically like, Playboy-style stuff.

I do customs and things like that, but I don't get too crazy on there. But I have a lot of fun, and I chat and talk, and I have a lot of fun on there. Right, good. And I think OnlyFans isn't as taboo as it used to be, especially with OnlyFans TV. I do pageant stuff on OnlyFans TV. I'm teaching girls interview skills on there. I love it. Yeah, it's cool. I just had to make sure that we chatted about the OnlyFans TV. I do pageant stuff on OnlyFans TV. You know, so. Yeah. You know, I'm teaching girls, like, interview skills on there. I love it. Yeah, it's cool.

I just had to make sure that we chatted about the OnlyFans. Thank you. Yes. And, yeah, you can go to my OnlyFans. It's Shayna Moakler. OnlyFans.com at Shayna Moakler. And my Instagram's at Shayna Moakler. My Twitter threads, everything.

We've got to get you on TikTok. You need to be more active on TikTok. I just am starting. So I would love to learn. We got you, baby. From you guys. Yeah. If you please teach would love to learn we got you from you guys if you please teach me like what works because i do not know and i'm not even verified on there i don't even know oh you will once you start getting more active and getting more views

they'll verify you for sure there's no reason why they wouldn't verify you okay cool okay i'm like but i'm learning and bama just like laughs at me i'm like how do i do this just be yourself yeah literally that's exactly what bama does she just gets on there and does her makeup thing yeah yeah I'm gonna try I'm gonna do a live on there this month since I can't do one on Instagram so I'm gonna do a live on there start moving your Instagram over to TikTok okay too like they all talk to themselves but TikTok is sure it'll grow your business tenfold it'll be insane yeah you guys have masters have to teach teach me please teach me we got you baby thank you so much for coming by. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate you.

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