Dumb People Town - Aida Rodriguez - Teddy A. Hare

Episode Date: January 12, 2021

This week Aida Rodriguez comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a returned mascot. The second story is about a man who gets a matching tattoo with his dog... The final story is about possibly the worst proposal ever done.

Star Beans Outta There Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Rodriguez. Ida Rodriguez, welcome to the show. Population U. Population Rodriguez. Ida Rodriguez, welcome to the show. It's so good to have you. Thank you for having me. What a day to be here. I appreciate being here. Dumb is in the air. It's so in the air. First of all, we, I think, just became fans of yours from watching you do stand-up at the Improv. We've been on many a show together here in LA. But you were fantastic on the Tournament of Laughs.

We loved what you did on there. And you're just great. You mean nine months or 15 years ago? Yeah. Does that feel like that was 15 years ago that happened this summer? Oh, my God. Yeah, it does feel like a long time ago.

Well, I love you guys, too. I think you guys are great. And I think it was Politicon. Oh, yeah. It was Politicon where we were there. does feel like a long time ago well i love you guys too i think you guys are great and um i i think it was politicon oh yeah politicon where we were there and i was like oh they're they're of my ilk yes that was that that that panel we did with uh john fuglesang and uh elaine that's what you did i wasn't there wasn't even there but then we got together again on the election night yeah we did that for that show. For the Wisconsin. No Work Comedy Club.

Turning Wisconsin blue. Yeah, that was really fun. And, you know, we've just been a fan of yours. And I feel like you are, you're comedy. And the stories you tell about the stupid shit that happens in your life is like so perfect for this. So that's what we do on the show. We sort of say, you know, the world's getting dumber. And that's my question to you.

Do you think the world is getting dumber? Are we are we just now continue? It's, it's fallen off a cliff at this point. I mean, a lot has happened this week, but is that what you think? I do think, I think, I do think the world is getting dumber. I'm a mom and I had to watch, um, you know, my, my stepfather's from Cuba and he used to make fun of us because we learned algebra in high school and he learned it in fourth grade. And, you know, my stepfather's from Cuba and he used to make fun of us because we learned algebra in high school and he learned it in fourth grade. Yeah. And, you know, we like to rag on communist countries. And true, I'm not pro communism, but I am pro education. And we have to be honest about the level of education in this country with the things that we're seeing now is just, you know, what?

FDR said that the biggest thing that preserves democracy is education. And I just think that, yes, we are getting dumber. Technology has made us dumber. How many phone numbers do you know? Yeah, we've talked about this before. How many phone numbers? I mean, think about 20 years ago in the 90s. I remember my mom, my grandma, and Connie and Uncle Ken.

Do you know mine? I don't know Dan's. We've been doing this podcast for nine years. We are the closest. We. Do you know mine? I don't know Dan's. We've been doing this podcast for nine years. We are the closest. We're like three brothers, and I don't know his number. Are you at Beverly Hills area codes? No. I'm a 323.

Oh, you are a 323. I know Jason's, but you're right. In the 90s, you knew 150 phone numbers. Yeah. Yeah. You used all those brain cells. And now, it's so funny sometimes i'll i'll uh use the navigation to go somewhere that i've been before right that's why don't you trust your own

brain you don't and listen i come from the hood so i could not afford not to know how to get out of a place that you need every exit strategy exactly so it's so funny that now i'm like why am i looking this address up i know exactly where it is i know i don't trust my gut that's crazy well here well we trust you to be able to break down these stories with us so what happens is our fans send to dan and if you want to send them just uh do send them hit through twitter yeah at daniel van kirk hashtag dumb people town and then the he can sort of see to Dan and if you want to send them just do send him hit at Twitter at Daniel Van Kirk hashtag dumb people town and then the he can sort of see when the story is a lot of people send the same story, but the Twitter timeline lets us

know who's the first person. So let's jump into a story. We have Ida here. Let's jump in. You ready? Yes, so funny. You said all that because I just realized I forgot to put the person who sent this in. I will find it and eventually give them credit. Okay, okay, here we go. Indiana restaurants missing taxidermy mascot returned. Okay, first of all, taxidermy mascot. Is it weird that I and it's Indiana? So is it dead? Can you call it a mascot? Also, is it weird that I hope it's like a college mascot that they taxidermied? Oh, like a person. I don't know. Or at least a full size like carrot. Okay, so like a human size carrot that they taxidermied. What's the scariest thing, Ida,

about Chuck E. Cheese? The guy in the costume. The guy in the costume. Who is this guy? We can't vet him. Right. Although if you're drunk enough at a Chuck E. Cheese, the scariest thing is that you think the drummer is eyeballing you. What are you looking at? Yeah, everywhere. It's like the Jesus in all the Puerto Ricans' houses. Where are you from?

Are his eyes following me? That's so funny. You've been to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, so I just think any restaurant that's like, this is our mascot, and it's a dead animal that they stuffed and put right there. And if you put it by the register, you're asking for

it to be stolen. Someone's going to get drunk. Did they cook the rest of the body? Yeah, didn't they? Is this like a served meal? It's a two-for-one? Yeah, the outside became the mascot, the inside was lunch. I bet somewhere in this country there is

a restaurant slash taxidermy where you bring in what you caught or killed. You eat it. We'll kill it. We'll cook it for you and then six months later you get it. Yeah. I agree. I think so. We've probably done comedy in one of those places. I'm sure. There's a place in Denver

that is like an old, what was it? Like the old mill something or other. It's like a steakhouse. The something exchange or something exchange, the Denver exchange or something like that. And they have just tons of taxidermied animals all over. I hadn't been around that many. I don't want that guilt.

It's a lot. And like you said, they're looking at you. Right. They're looking at you. You're cutting a steak and you're like, you should never have to be like, I'm sorry. Right. Unless you're on the show alone. Then you can say They're looking at you. You're cutting a steak and you're like you should never have to be like I'm sorry. Yeah, sorry, unless you're on the show alone, then you can say you're sorry

okay. So someone returned a stuffed hair on Tuesday that had been stolen from an Indiana restaurant last week, Fox fifty nine in Indianapolis. So was a rabbit, a stuffed rabbit. Yeah surveillance video showed an unidentified customer at the 1933 lounge

in Fishers picking up the taxidermy hair call. Okay, hang on a second. 1933, like a horrible time. You were talking FDR. Who wants their restaurant to be a depression? You learn for the days of the early part of the depression. Do you like? Is there like?

Is it a themed restaurant where you walk in, you can either choose to get in line for possible day labor or get in line for bread? It's a themed depression. Hitler was on the rise. They have a signed copy of The Jungle. Yes, right. Upton Sinclair.

It's super cold. You rub your ears off because it's so cold. Also, I looked at, we'll get into it, but like i looked up 1933 on yelp yes very nice place oh sure three dollar signs in indianapolis that's probably expensive right yeah i mean three dollar signs even in la i'm like do i want that's a commitment that's a lot you better really want that food if you're on three dollar signs and you're looking at yelp it better be good so like maybe this was someone who felt like it wasn't worth $3 signs. They're like, I'm going to get my money's worth. I'm taking that rabbit.

Well, they picked up. Go ahead, Ida. It's also in three Indiana dollars. That's right. Which either means it's super high or it's like... It would be $1 sign in LA. It's like in and out. Yeah.

Because $1 sign on a burger is probably what? Four bucks. Yeah. $2 sign burger, 10 to 12. Right. $3 sign burger, would you go like 17 to 21? Yeah. I don't know.

Because I thought it was... Have you ever spent $21 on a burger, Dan? Yeah, I guarantee I have. You don't think you ever have? Maybe at like a ballpark. No, Ida, have you? Had what? Spent $21 on a burger. have. You don't think you ever have? Maybe at like a ballpark. Ida, have you? Had what? Spent $21 on a burger.

Yes. You have? We've all eaten in hotels. Out across the street from Hollywood and Highland, there's a place called 25th Degrees and their burgers are $58. That's right. I think I have. I think I have. I don't mind spending that money if I can taste the quality. if I'm like this is a twenty one dollar burger, but sometimes you're at a ten dollar burger place and I'm charging twenty. I have to buy a twenty

one dollar burger. I have to steal a stuffed rabbit just to make it all worthwhile, right? You get it. I deserve it. Okay, so they stole they picked up the taxidermy hair called Theodore a hair. Am I missing the pun? Yeah. What is the hair called theodore a hair am i missing the pun yeah what is the pun

there the a hair teddy or teddy a hair teddy a hair the a i feel like there's a what are we what are we missing are we dumb i don't get it theodora hair we're not dumb enough there you go we're not dumb enough to know what that means so dolphins can speak or sometimes they can speak on a frequency level that we can't understand this is happening on like a frequency if you've ever been on like a movie set or something there's a point where someone's like switch your all the people in the production like switch your walkies to one switch to channel two so we can have a conversation we need to switch our dumb walkies to one so we can understand hair

i have no idea and it isn't anything it is not anything but like by the way it could have been something so like some i don't know why i'm assuming drunk person who works there is like name it theodore hey better put an a in there okay then what hair it's a ram theater a rabbit i have no idea um this happened on friday night which also makes me feel like if you just weren't having indoor dining you'd still have your mascot oh yeah yeah who is still having indoor dining indiana there you go jesus just check them out in three weeks they'll be the people dying that's right yeah they're gonna be well it's nice that they returned the uh hair right before they go on a ventilator the animal dressed in a fancy hat and carrying an old shotgun, not new, old serves as the restaurant's mascot.

Okay, I'm sorry. So it wasn't enough. Come on down to 1933 where you'll be held at gunpoint by a taxidermied animal. I love that. For a $3 sign. He's holding the weapon that put him in this position in the first place. Is that mean? The thing that killed him that turned him into a rabbit with a shotgun.

You're not going to have much rabbit left. True. We're the pita chicks when we need them. That's right. Thank you. Stop spilling some paint on this one. It'd be like Jesus holding a cross of him on a cross. Don't you guys ever see like an animal where you're like,

where like a pet of someone wearing clothes and you're like that animal's embarrassed. Yeah. Yes. One of my friends for Christmas put a, this Christmas outfit on the poor dog. The dog looked miserable. Miserable.

Why do you have to do this to an animal after it's already dead? Like if you, isn't that enough? That's disgraceful I mean, you put an outfit on a dog And it just starts scratching It's doing everything it can It wants out

It's not natural Imagine flying on a plane with someone who has A really big dog Who has an outfit on And has to scrunch under the seat For four hours because you're lonely. It's a noose. Because you need emotional support.

And you wanted to play dress up. The animal, which I said, is dressed in a fancy hat and carrying an old shotgun. Fancy hat. Shouldn't rabbits be pulled out of hats, not wearing hats? Ida, look at your screen as you already are. And we're going to put up the photo. Look at this guy. Look at this guy. Look at Teddy hair. The gun is huge. Is that why instead of Teddy bear, he's a teddy hair. That's why it's Theodore, but it's Teddy a hair. Yeah,

but drop the a it should be e Ted e hair like Teddy bear. It's Teddy. Anyway anyway his name's theodore i know what is that this is real that yes now look teddy a hair was returned with a note that says sorry this was a drunken mistake how about how about sorry to the animal he was taking he didn't get a note by the way sorry this is a drunken mistake is also what this person told their ex-wife can i also can i also say looking at teddy a hair if you were gonna go hunting with teddy a hair and he showed up in that outfit of a little boulders hat and a bow tie you but you do not understand what's happening today right this isn't good why does teddy look happy yes because i want to know why did they make him happy because they got to feel better? Because they got to feel better about themselves. They got to feel better about themselves.

And by the way, unless he's taken out the hunters, maybe he's got the gun, right? Let's even the playing field a little bit. Randy and I have always been proponents of animal guns. Give animals guns to shoot back. And then let's see who's going to go hunting. People on our social media, if you follow Dumb People Town or at DPT Podcast, especially the Facebook page,

you'll see what I'm talking about here, but the note where the notes placed and i do you'll notice it's covering up what would be the most disturbing thing about this taxidermy taxidermy rabbit. It's standing on its hind legs, which make up half of its body. Yeah, look, you could see how weird it looks. Yeah, like that note wasn't there, this would be so weird with those little legs. Big legs. Of course. Jesus.

That's creepy, though. It's just. It's creepy. You don't see rabbits standing on their hind legs like that that much. And I watched Peter Rabbit with my kids. Did you? Oh, you did? Yeah.

Exactly. It was like, let's get James cordon let's go ahead what were you saying ida no no i i just it's disturbing it's like whoever's behind this this situation with and i'm talking about the rabbit i don't mean the person who stole the rabbit to have a tryst and then bring it back yeah that is not a clean rabbit that was brought back. That rabbit has seen some shit. You gotta luminol that rabbit and see what went down. How do you wash that thing? There is not enough

Purell in the world. Surveillance footage posted to the 1933 Lounge Twitter account. I would love to see what they've liked. Start following them. Appears to show two men walking off with Theodore as they left the Lounge, which you know they had a drunken. You take it.

You put it back. We'll take it. Two men. Two men. Yeah. It's always two men. A woman would not do this. I'm sorry.

Not even that drunk woman who was arguing with Giuliani and the, who was sitting. That nut job. That crazy nut job. Let me ask you this. Okay. Let me ask you this, okay? Let me ask you this. Even that woman I don't think would have stolen. She might dare you, but she wouldn't do it.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. She might. She might. She might get. I don't have too much credit. She'd be with someone.

Do you even know? Do you even know how many there are? Do you even know how many rabbits have been stolen in this world? Do you even know? You don't even know. That's what many rabbits have been stolen in this world? Do you even know? You don't even know. That's what's so crazy. Very good her. I did a good her.

And I'm glad I don't know her name. The restaurant posted about the stolen hair on social media, and it offered a gift card of how much money for its return. Now, here's what I love. 1933 isn't offering an actual monetary reward. By the way, this and I'm going to guess. They're going to we don't want to lose money on this deal. So we'll just offer a gift card. So but and I'm sure it's not 1933 pricing.

Of course not. It's a three dollar sign restaurant. Okay, so how much was on the gift card? Ida, what do you think? What do you think the reward value gift card was for returning this hair on without a hair messed on its hairy head. Fifty dollars. Fifty dollars. Gift card.

It's a nice gift card. It's a good gift card because I guarantee you this is the kind of place that has a gift shop. Yeah, it's the kind of restaurant that looks nice. They sell postcards of Indiana. All right. I'm going to say a hundred dollars.

Do you think there's a rib place in Indiana, like in Indianapolis, called Indiana Bones? I don't know why I thought of that. You've got to try their whipped potatoes. There you go, Randy. I will say this. I think it's going to be a weird number. Enjoy this $63 gift card. It's like whatever their insurance adjuster told them that they thought it

was worth. This is what you, you could probably get $65 for that rabbit. All right, we'll give him $63 gift card. We'll come out 63. What'd you say, Jay?

You said a hundred. I was thinking of Raiders of the Lost Barks route. That doesn't work. Raiders of the Lost Bark is a pet shop. And Indiana. So I said $100. I just said fifty and I say sixty three. Okay. All right. The gift card offered as a reward. If the rabbit comes back was worth or is worth five hundred dollars. Oh my God, but still remember guys, they're not actually out any money. They're just out

product, which I know translates to money in any business, but still they don't want to put anything up. That's unbelievable. We're not getting they maybe they are three dollars. That's right. I know we got to rethink this restaurant. Well, here is another thing. Bryn Jones,

vice president of marketing and retail for the restaurant's owner. I mean, so she's right. There is a gift shop. There is retail for retail, Dan, and the fact that they have a marketing department. That's what I'm saying. I think they own multiple restaurants in Indiana. There's got to be multiple stuffed hairs with guns and funny hats.

This company is called Hoos Culinary. Told the Indianapolis Star that replacing the hair would have cost how much money do you think it would cost to replace the hair or a hair? I figure you have to factor in little toy shotgun bowler hat and tie. I think that's a real shotgun. It's got to go kill

another rabbit. Yeah, another whole process and then embarrass it by so then you got to factor in man hours. How much did it cost you for the permit tax a dermy? How many times has to go back and check your snares? How all right? So how much do you think I'd a five grand five grand Jason

to replace it? Do that's God. I'm going to say like a thousand dollars. Okay, I'm going to go to two grand. All right. One of you is exactly right. So now I do. We get to. All right. One of you is exactly right. So now I do. We get to play the game.

Who do you think is right? You can stick with yourself, stick with yourself, or if you like someone else's answer, switch to them. I'll stick with myself. Okay, I'm sticking with names. We're all staying put. Bryn Jones, that's vice president of marketing and retail to you guys. Can't believe it said that it would cost about one thousand dollars

to get a new teddy a hair no questions asked no hard feelings the restaurant tweeted our only hope is that he is returned unharmed the hair turned up at the restaurant on tuesday night so it's gone about five days when someone dropped him off in a trash bag with a note apologizing. Sorry! This was a drunken mistake. We covered this. He's well taken care of.

There's also a haphazard sad face emoticon drawn on the note. Do you feel like more effort has been put into retrieving this stuffed rabbit than reuniting families at the border? A hundred percent. than reuniting families at the border. A hundred percent. I also think that this sounds like something that Don Jr. and Eric Trump did. Oh yeah, from top to bottom.

They did this to the rabbit. They also stole it. They had sex with it. They forced it to. Wait, Dan, Dan, I'm truthful when I say this, and I've said this on our podcast before. If you show me a picture of the Trump kids, I

couldn't tell you who was who. I don't know who is Don. I don't know who is Don and I don't know who's Eric. I can't tell you who Tiffany is. I'll call him Derek. That's hilarious. One of them looks like a serial killer. The other one looks like the other one. The of them looks like a serial killer.

The other one looks like the other one. The other guy looks like a rapist. Oh my God. Yeah, he does. They're awful, right? They're just too awful people that I don't need to know who's who. They look like background actors in the movie Boiler Room. Always doing paperwork

you see them uh with the the marlago uh yeah vanilla ice oh god that's what i'm talking about yes look lost no they were screaming i'm around all these women and i can't kill one they were screaming play that funky music white boy i don't think they even knew that casey and the sunshine band i think they were just yelling at vanilla they were just yelling at vanilla ice play that funky music do you think everyone in don jr's life is sick of him talking about how excited he is for dexter to come back we get it dude you're into it right wait so when vanilla ice was singing and then we'll get back to the story, do you think there's a moment when Vanilla Ice is singing Ice Ice Baby every time he sings it where he thinks to himself,

I wish Suga would have dropped me? I know! Because then I went out on top! Because then I went out on top! He kind of probably would be a beloved piece of pop culture if he had been dropped. Yeah, everyone would be like, remember that guy? Oh, that guy!

Yeah! He could have had a career. He had a thing. We we all had that song we like but now we're just like in the white tupac thank you he would have been one pop yeah ingrained in history forever the worst thing i think for him was having to look down and see the melania double dancing yes that was i mean she was gone. They were long gone. Yeah, they were out of there. They never show. We'll throw one out there and then everybody from a distance people be like she's still here, right? I feel like if I could defend

Vanilla Ice, I feel like he just wanted one gig where he was the best person in the room. I don't know the Beach Boys. I don't know. Background boys. I don't know background singers like Mike love. Yeah, those singers, the background singers are good. Mike love can take a long walk.

Okay, where was I? Yes, you were you're a thousand dollars to return. Yeah, they said brought it back in a trash bag of the lounge in a tweet Tuesday night said it's thankful for the return of Theodore a hair. Oh, I'm calling Teddy here and thanked members of the community who shared the initial post about the missing figure quote and to our new friend who Theodore spent

the weekend with these persons stole from you. Yeah, you're not your friend just because you guys went through something together that they caused is that Stockholm syndrome. I'm sorry a little bit and to our new friend who spent the weekend Theodore spent the weekend with, thanks for returning him so promptly and having a good sense of humor. I don't know where the joke was because they said, I'm sorry.

It's stolen property. I think they said, then they said, we love you very much. You're very special to us. What city was this in? Indianapolis. Oh, Indianapolis. Center of the country, baby.

I thought Fort Wayne, maybe. Indianapolis has too much class. I mean, you know that this shit would never happen in Bloomington. I'll say that. No, no. Terre Haute, maybe. Here's something weird. Strangely, or not, this isn't the first time someone has nabbed a taxidermied animal mascot from a restaurant

owned by who's culinary. They have other restaurants, and I guess they have other taxidermy mascots. You got to nail that shit down. Someone stole a fox named Winston from St. Elmo Steakhouse in Indianapolis in 2018. So I heard this is

on you. I don't want to victim. It's a hustle. It's a hustle. Hey, Jeremy, you want to know how to get a $500 gift card? There you go. Have the rabbit for the weekend. When you say, hey, Jeremy, you're talking about Jeremy Piven, right? No, I think Ida might be onto something, and

I don't love to go deep in because I'm not this type of person, but this could be an inside job. That's what I was going to say. Maybe Bryn Jones is like if every couple of years we just steal one of our taxidermies, it's going to get pressed because who doesn't love a bowler hat rabbit? This is press. This is gorilla.

Are you guys ready to take a look at Winston from St. Elmo's Steakhouse? So I heard St. Elmo's Steakhouse is a good steak at this guy. I've heard. I've heard of this sunglasses on look at him. He's got binoculars. See a peeping Tom.

He's got a little Peter Pan hat. First of all, you know how foxes have terrible eyesight at night and he's got like he's also holding a shotgun from the top down. Yeah, he's holding he's dragging a shotgun and he's looking at binoculars at your daughter as she's changing clothes in her bedroom.

This is terrifying. It's sick. It should be stolen. Okay. Winston was returned to the restaurant a few days later via an Uber, which means in 2018, someone put Winston into an Uber and just told him to drop it off right here. Yes. Drop it off so it looks like you stole it. But wait, drop it off and break its leg to send a message.

here. Yes. Chop it off. So it looks like you stole it, but wait, drop it off and break its leg to send a message. No, but this reminds me of, there was a, there was a store in here in LA. It was a tire shop. Okay. And it was just, it was on Beverly and Gardner and they had like a rotating tire under this giant sign, but it was, the tire was an actual size tire. And I looked at the tire sign and I was like, you need to make a fake giant tire. That's what should be rotating, not an actual because the actual tire looks too small so we can personify our animals, but when it's a real animal, it's creepy. It is right. Yeah, so that's that animal lived like if you have a stuffed animal and the stuffed animals holding binoculars, that's kind of cute, but an actual stuffed right

dead animal with a Peter Pan hat on and I think two bow ties. It's creepy. Doesn't look like he's wearing Winston's wearing two bow ties. Yeah. What's that about? What do we say in comedy? You'd never put a hat on a hat. That's too much, right? I also feel like if you're on grinder to bow ties in your

profile pics really mean something where you like it into. In both ears. Winston's returned via Uber. After how much attention we got, we figured it would never happen again, but here we are. I think Randy said she figured, how can I make this happen again? Here we are.

And there are no consequences. They want to give you a hug. Yeah, exactly. We're friends now. You stole from us. That's how friends are. It's literally like breaking into the Capitol building. There are no consequences. Come on in. Come on in. Grab a taxi.

We're your company, this shit. Knock on our door. Let's go home. Take a selfie. Yeah, take a selfie. Sit in a chair. All right, that's story number one. That's story number one.

Down in the books. Ida Rodriguez is with us. I'm so excited. We're going to hear about what she's got going on, too, on the other side of this break. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around.

Make it sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. This is dropping when? This coming Tuesday. Oh, this Saturday. We got to tell you, live Dumb People Town,

we're doing on Saturday at Nowhere Comedy Club. We did a show with Ida at Nowhere Comedy Club. We love those guys so much. Our guests are Zach Galifianakis and John Paul White, the lead singer of the Civil Wars. Tickets are available at eventbrite.com. Get your tickets right now. It is going to be such a fun show.

I want to see everyone who listens to this show there. Pre-show hang is going to be a Patreon story. So that's going to be really fun get your pre-show add-on you get an extra show and then the late show hang so eventbrite.com we got a greenly and we got a greenly it's going to be so much fun i'll say this we got a greenly and stuff i hope so if the article it should be out by that that's the plan yeah uh ida you have a stand-up special that people can watch am i correct on hbo max no it's on Netflix. Sorry, I'm going to bump it up. No, I'm working on my hour special for HBO Max.

That's right. That's what you were telling us. That's amazing. Where are you going to do that? What's the plan? Are you putting the material? How far along are you right now with it? I shoot in June and I'm shooting outside. Nice. Where are you going to do it? In in june and i'm shooting outside nice where are you gonna do it awesome where in la in new york yeah in new york fun i like new york sure where where in new

york do you know in the bronx um we're we're uh solidifying the venue now yeah tosh brown is i love it that's so yeah i'm shooting it in new York. I'm excited about it. I'm so excited. So much to talk about. Well, I mean, I don't know. It's just been a really uneventful year. I wish things were happening in our country. Yeah, that's crazy awesome. And HBO Max doing some great stand-up specials. Our friend Beth Stelling had one of the best specials I've seen in years,

you know, on any platform there. And I just think they're doing such good stuff. I love HBO Max. Who's the dad girl? Dad girl? Daddies. Daddies think they're doing such good stuff. I love HBO Max. Dad girl. Dad girl. Yeah. Dad girl. You know what's so funny is that I have just started

coming to HBO Max because I started with the cult. The Heaven's Gate cult. That four-part series is freaking unbelievable. I lived in San Diego when that happened. You did?

Yes. So I lived in Rancho Bernardo and that was right down the street from us in Del Mar. And it was the creepiest thing because when that happened, you could see the cloud, like the

darkness and the fumes of that house with all those bodies in there oh my god but it was 10 minutes away from my house that was happening 10 minutes away from our house first of all how did they get access to that big of a house that thing was humongous and in an area that is very expensive that had money you know it's funny uh michelle uh the lady from star star trek's brother that's right was he was he was part of the cult they had i mean the properties there are so expensive they're so big they're beautiful and but also disconnected from san diego right because it's like such an affluent place yep so they must they must they had to get hustled really hard in terms of putting all that money together for that house.

And then, you know, transit. This documentary is insane. I don't know why. I'm just like ridiculous. I'm such a cult. I'm such now a cult like enthusiast, not an enthusiast, but I want to know everything about cults. And I say this to my kids who are 15 and 13. Every day I'm like, don't join a 15 and 13 every day. I'm like,

don't join a cult. I do that too. To your kids? The church of Christ people were coming. You know, my daughter went away to school, the church of Christ people were coming for her, but I grew up in not a cult, but I call it a sect because it's way bigger, but I grew up seven day Adventist. I call it a sect because it's way bigger, but I grew up Seventh-day Adventist. Oh, wow. And so I wasn't allowed to wear earrings. I had to wear dresses, no pants. Wow. Friday nights, the electricity would go off like Jews.

Yes, yes, like us. I mean, not us, but Jews. Yes. Yeah. So we grew up, you know, and it just scared me so much to see how much power the pastor had in my church. So I've always been afraid of that. And I've always been like, don't join a cult. And watching this the last four years.

So it is a cult. You touched on it. A hundred percent. These people have lost their identities. Because they bend themselves into pretzels explaining behavior, that reality. Alternate reality, alternate facts. They bend themselves into pretzels explaining things that you

just are like, that's not true. Did you hear the lady, the woman who died, did you hear the audio? Her audio? So they have audio of her. She was one of those QAnon people, but she was talking about all of the officials from California and saying she was one of those QAnon people but she was talking about all of the officials from California and saying she

was coming to get them but if you hear her like talk it's when people say how did the Holocaust happen and I'm like like this it's mass hysteria it's like you if you listen to this woman you're like wow

she was gone right and this is what was fed to her and how it's like you if you listen to this woman you you're like wow she was gone right and this is what was fed to her and how it's just insane insane well let's let's jump in so again you're shooting in june it's gonna be released later at the end of the year yeah great um so on social media how can people follow you so that they know when that's coming um funnyIDA on Instagram and Twitter. Do it. I stay clear of Facebook because Facebook is where it really gets grimy. Yep, yep. But Facebook

on Twitter and Instagram, Funny Ida and follow her and her special. Again, we've seen her and done so many shows with her. She's so good. You will love her so much. People who are listening to this show, if you're not on her comedy, get on it now. And the Netflix special is called what?

So people can check that out. It's part of Tiffany Haddish's series, They Ready. So I'm episode three. Nice. I love it. Beautiful. All right, let's jump into another story. Are you ready?

Yes. This was sent in by La Asesina. Love her. La Asesina. La Asesina. MMA. Dan likes Asesina. La Asesina. MMA. Dan likes to be. The murderer.

It doesn't mean the murderer. Right. She's an MMA fighter. She is. She is. Here we go. There are few relationships as close as that between a human and their pooch. Many owners would do absolutely anything for their beloved pet.

Hopefully not put clothes on them okay do you have a dog you have a dog right no you don't right now okay no oh here's the headline guy gets matching tattoo with his dog but didn't realize the mark on his dog was the neutered symbol so in this guy's case he went he went and got a tattoo in an act of solidarity after thinking his rescue dog had been cruelly tattooed by a previous owner. Yeah, you never want to find out what that is. First of all, I love how much he loves his dog. Me too. So someone marked the dog neutered, so they knew it was neutered. Which is what is a common practice.

And he's like, let me mark myself that. Because he didn't know, he thought it was a tattoo from some a-hole before he rescued the dog. Maybe he thought it was. Yeah. Maybe he thought the dog just got a tattoo. Cool tattoo from this dog. He thought the dog went to Cabo when it was 18. Yeah.

And just got a tattoo. Where did this happen? This? I don't know. You just asked me a little while ago do i think people are getting dumber yeah here we go here it is i mean the dog had a teardrop which means he killed a golden retriever in prison sorry that's funny i'm sorry um okay here's i'm gonna share a picture with you guys right now this is the picture of the dog This is a common mark on a dog that you will have.

And then this is him getting that tattoo onto his arm. I love that nobody stopped him. Right. I also love that the dog wants to be painted like one of them French girls from Titanic. That dog is laying full exposed. That dog's like, what, you want to see it? I'll let you see it, man. I lived a rough life before you adopted me. Here go yeah no shame in my game that might be the next missing animal from

that restaurant that's right don't don't trust yeah don't trust 1933 nope uh sadly for this dude his cute act of unity with his pet was entirely misplaced when it was quickly pointed out that his dog's tattoo was actually a symbol used by veterinarians to mark rescue dogs as neutered or a gay Bob Barkard. So now he's going to have to figure out a way to turn whatever that thing is into something else. Or he says,

now I guess I have to get neutered. I don't want to have false averages. I got to suck my balls out through a vacuum. Here we go. I want to see a picture of him because he's definitely on hinge yeah oh god yeah yeah he is wait but so maybe he's like what can i turn this into an anchor right yeah he's gonna have anything what makes this already sad tale even more tragic is the fact that the guy went ahead and shared photos of the matching tattoos on social media before being told it was a mistake and here's one thing we know about social media they're never gonna correct you no very forgiving no one's gonna make fun of

you for any mistakes you make right that's my favorite reply when somebody says like some sort of dumb correction on twitter i just write back actually because that's all they're doing all twitter is just everyone saying actually actually my new thing is just saying no. There you go. I do LOL because that makes them angrier. Yes. You're not supposed to find this funny. You're supposed to be mad. Here's what he wrote on social media. For those of you who know Bear,

first of all, he's got a dog and he called him Bear. That's a problem. For those of you who know Bear, you know that he has a tattoo given to him from some previous owners. It sickens me to know that people actually tattoo their pets. So tonight I got his tattoo. And then now we will see this.

Again, I love this guy. And in terms of his empathy for this dog. He loves his dog. Absolutely. But you know that there's that one person in the comment section that says, kill yourself. Oh, you know it's there. Yeah.

Yeah. He says it wasn't long, or it says here, it wasn't long before someone spotted the guy's unfortunate new inking and pointed out that it wasn't an abusive previous owner, but a mark for rescue centers to identify dogs

who had been, quote unquote, done done and it was done in sharpie so it could have totally come off someone commented that means he's neutered my rescue female has one to makes a cool story though that's somebody really trying to cool story is how much talking down is

that person makes a cool story though for you yeah i'm sure you'll have fun telling this. Yeah, but how does this guy lean into it? Like, he just becomes, what was that guy, the pickup artist, Mystery? Where he's like, you see my neutered tattoo? Like, he tries to use it as a conversation starter all the time. He could just say he loved Prince and he found his own symbol. This is it.

Yeah. I'm taking back the symbol. There you go. Yeah. I'm the artist formerly known as a smart person. Naturally, it wasn't long before others chipped in asking if it meant he was neutered uh you're going to be telling this story forever no big deal though people are it's like some shade no big deal i would say a tattoo is the biggest deal yeah also it kind of looks like a tattoo symbol and a pokemon

you have no tattoos i was indoctrinated young. I was told that whatever part of me I tattoo, when I go to hell would burn extra hard. Really? That's some 7th day. I'm going to use that on my kids, goddammit. No, but you and me and Dan and Jason were all like NBA players in the 1980s. We had nothing.

No tattoos. All right, that's story number two wow so what do you do if you're this guy's friend so ida you're this guy's friend and you you love how much he loves you love how much he loves the dog you definitely have to love him but do you say let's figure out what we're going to turn this into you know first you well birds of a feather right so the friend also probably has the tattoo yeah exactly of something that they he shouldn't have right yeah um what do you do when some you know i why not keep it that's what i'm thinking too first of all you said hey i this is what i thought and own it because how much i love my dog yes lean in because

here's the thing one girl will fall for it one girl will fall if you can get laid with that she's like i thought you were neutered and he's like yeah well i'm sorry that's the thing though i want to ask you guys because i did not did any of you know that that was the symbol no i don't know i mean most people the the percentage of people that would know what it is and then also see it because it is higher up on his arm. There's plenty of times where it will not be seen that like the answer. No one's going to, and if they do,

they'll be like, are you neutered? Be like, no, I just, what if someone says, so what does it mean? Then you have a chance not to make up some awesome stories that like we're

all being neutered. It means I love my dog more than I do researching things. I have the coronavirus vaccine. This is what they give you when you get the vaccine. When you get the vaccine, this is it. Just tell people you were really into that 1990s computer game, and that's a symbol from that. I love it.

There's story two down in the books. Okay, when we come back, give us a little tease of what we're going to have on the other side. In my opinion, it's the worst engagement proposal of all time. The worst engagement proposal ever. We got it. Ida Rodriguez is with us. And for Patreon fans, we're going to have a story with just her about her life growing up in Florida.

Can't wait. We'll be right back after this break. Stick around. Make it sound. For more Dumb People Town. All right, Dan, should we get to some shout outs? I mean, I love saying thank you to people who support us more than anybody, and that is our townies over on the Patreon.

So let's say hello. Thank you. Goodbye. Good afternoon and good evening to Joel Prinster. Oh, the Princeton. And on to Princeton before you. That's what I said. Now, let's also say hello to Brendan McCarthy. Oh,. That's what I said. Now let's also say

a lot of Brendan McCarthy, a car and a little car. He list. Brandon's got so big, so big. Do you think when he punk somebody's like you just got McCarthy? You got McCarthyism. That is straight. Caitlin, Reedman, Rydman. I don't know. I tried Rydman. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Caitlin Rydman on the Reidman. I'm going to read it. B. O. G. G. E. S. S. What do you say Ram? B. O. G. G.

E. S. S. Bojus. Yeah, Shelby Bojus. Bojus. Bojus. Bojus. Bojus. That's bogus. I think it's bogus. Thank you. Maria Pendolino. Pendolino. The Pendolino is the little thing on the it's you know what the Pendolino is. The Pendolino, you know the Pendolino is the little thing on the it's you know what it the Pendolino is the Pendolino is when you get like a really

nice dress shirt and they put those little clips that are plastic on it. Yes, those are the Pendolino. Really you guys thought you were going to say a Pendolino was like the new software update from Apple. It's also a bar. You running Pendolino, because if you're running, I'm running that you know for fourteen point one running Pendolino, because if you're running, I'm running, you know for fourteen point one Ryan Kate's a the Phoebe Cates of Ryan's Molly Temple. I pray at that

Molly Temple sounds like she either on purpose or inadvertently killed a lot of people. You guys don't you guys don't understand, because you've never been a burning man, but I've been to the Molly Temple. John Baron, a baron John tried. I thinkron. John Barron. I think it's Barron. What's up, buddy? Who else? Matthew Payne.

Matthew Payne. My prediction. My prediction. Matthew Payne. Nicole Ribori. Ribori, it's its own self-cleaning tool that operates in your house without the need of you at all. I thought Ribori is like a kale substitute. I thought Ribori is just like a stand-up I thought Rory is just like a stand up room, but Nicholas J, Randy and Daniel. It is Nicholas J, Nicholas J, yeah, J, Mitch Malaskey, which

this will ask. He's been fired from every airport in the Chicago land area to airports in Indiana. Jason and I had a bank nearby our house that we had checking accounts called Pulaski Savings. Pulaski Savings is that was a real bank. It was only one branch. Malaski Savings is in the back of a truck. For sure. Yes. Mitch Malaski, he's my rival when it

comes to me. You're not going to go out and do and screw your life up like Mitch Malaski. No, he got it back together. We got it back together. Great. The next person is a city council member, Jason Heimbaugh. I hope Michigan resigns him. I do. I do. I know what I think in the grocery does, but he wears khakis and I think it looks sharp. Bryce Bettman. Bryce Bettman to me is like you walk in and before you've even thrown down your coat, you're asking the people in your

house. If they heard what Bryce Bettman did also, he wants to know Bryce Bettman. Have you seen Bryce Bettman did also, he was you know, Bryce, but did have you seen Bryce, Batman's house and he walks into every situation. Bryce Batman day glad to be to yeah, Bryce, Babin, he did it. He bought a golden doodle, the least labock, Elise, you're so great, you know, I love you. We have a pillar of the community name Mike. That's all we get thanks. I wish more people would be like him. Oh my Charlotte Matthews, yeah, daughter of clay Matthews, junior and senior,

not and not and Charlotte Matthews. If you're not writing children's books, what are you doing with that? Charlotte Matthews and the golden paper web. Mm David Allen Moore, who's related to David Allen. Great. Oh,

David Allen Greer. I saw more sounds like a comic book artist. And isn't there a comedian named Stephen Allen Green? Yes. Yes. And we didn't we roast him one time? We did. He got mad at us.

We have one of our founding parents or mother or father, however we want to call it, Christy Slattery. Oh, come on, Christy. Love you, Joe.

On Mad Men. And then Joel Schwartz. Joel's a great dude. Joel's up in the Bay Area. I know Joel because he plays my Hub City games. She's a lot of bingo. You guys didn't know that, but I promise you. May the Schwartz. Joel's a great dude. Joel's up in the Bay Area. I know Joel because he plays my Hub City games. He's a lot of bingo. You guys didn't know that. May the Schwartz be with you.

I was going to say may the Joel be with you. Jennifer Davidson. Yes. Hi, Jennifer Davidson. Hi, Jennifer. Thank you. Michael, where are you going to go? L-E-L-L-I.

Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely.

Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Lely. Ooh, that's good too. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Oh, that's good, too. Lay across my big brass bed. Like how big and why brass? Yes, it's Brandon's bed.

And then we have Jennifer. Oh, no, I already said Jennifer. We have Greg. Yo, yo, hey, how are you going? You're on yo, hey, why? Oh, yeah, yo, he, yo, he like yo he yo he yo yo yo he is like a version of yolo i don't yolo is you only he only hate everybody and then let's do one more and i let it go yo hey now

robert nichols which is fine until you switch it up a little bit and you call him Bobby, because then you have little Bobby Nichols. I say I thought it was little Bobby Nichols, Bobby, Uncle Bobby Nichols, Bobby five cents, little by who's going to be there at the water slide. It's going to be Jeff. It's going to be Davey and little Bobby Nichols. Oh, do we have to watch little Bobby Nichols? I don't trust him. They call that because he stole the milk money. He got stuck between the mats. He can swim now. All right, that's some of the

people who help keep this town running. We thank all of you. If you want to hear us possibly goof on your name or you just want to support or you just want tons of great episodes and all the extra stuff doing live zooms. You get to hang out with us. It shows that we do all that sort of stuff. Just go to patreon.com slash dumb people town and we'll say hello to you

and you get extra fun stuff. All right, Daniel, take us home buddy. Last here we go. Ready? This is sent in by Jeffrey Alberghini. Alberghini at JJ Alberghini. He hit up me at Daniel and Kirk and hashtag dump people town. Love it.

Here we go. A young man recently took getting engaged to a whole new level after proposing ready for this proposing to his woman. I don't know that feels weird while she was asleep

and he shared the entire thing on Facebook. No, this is why Ida got off a book exactly sleep and he proposes to her. He didn't try to have sex with her while she was asleep. According book. No, this is why Ida got off a book. It's exactly asleep and he proposes to at least he didn't try to have sex with her while she was asleep. According to that, we know of or we know right. According to the post,

Michael Mayorga did not know how to surprise his partner. The the the range of terms were giving this person. Yeah, he explains how he had thought about how he would execute the proposal for months, all while being unable to come up with anything just fucking ass so we're three but we're 17 year old who wants to go to prom in a whole new way so you do you feel like you're trying to teach her spanish like as she's sleeping let me try to indoctrinate you with

but here's the thing we are three, so I can't speak to this. I'm going to say this. Ida, is it every woman's dream to be proposed to when they're asleep? While they're dreaming? If it's from a guy they don't like. Yeah, they don't have to hear it. But she doesn't have to answer. There you go.

That sounds really, really creepy. That sounds... First of all, a person who sent in the story and referred to the the the fiancee as his woman is probably dealing with some misogyny issues but thank you that's the journalist that's not jeffrey that is that is briefly.co yeah that's creepy but his possession yes that sounds really weird. But the sleep thing, I mean, there's so many deviances that are connected to sleep. He likes her a lot better when she's not awake. Right.

Honey, I was watching you sleep last night. Those are words no one wants to hear. You don't want to hear it. Guys, am I crazy to think like in this pandemic time, if you're with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and you're trying to find a way to propose to them in a way that they're going to be like, thank you so much. Is it horrible if you just got takeout

from their favorite $3 sign restaurant? And grabbed a taxidermy rabbit. Sure, that's optional. And like made it a really nice, like stay at home date night. No. The best you can do. And then said, and then proposed. Is that wildly bad? How about you're laying in bed and you guys are just, uh, and it's late night and you're talking and you say, Hey, you know what? I was thinking about something and I want to know, I want to run this by you. Okay. I love you so much. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you and i just let's do

this let's get married like how how hard is that right if you're like laying in bed because then it's like and i'd have please i'm just correct me if i'm wildly wrong here but if you just say like you know what life's made up of moments and how many moments are we going to be going to bed together i would like to do it for the rest of our life. Let's do this. All you got to say to me is I got medical. I just don't understand this. Like you're just like, you're like, you got dental. He captioned the picture of her wearing the new ring while she was asleep. He wrote, it's 5 a.m. So he slid the ring on her. Did anybody verify to see if she was alive?

Oh my God. I'll bring up the picture right now. Let's look at the picture and then I'll read you the caption of what he said. He dipped her hand in warm water and she peed on herself. There's him. Of course, he's a Patriots fan. Oh God. Let's look at the picture and then I'll read you the caption of what he said. He dipped her hand in warm water and she peed on herself. There's him. Of course, he's a Patriots fan. Oh God. There's him. He's going double bracelet like he's Wonder Woman 1985. Did he just go to camp?

And then look on the picture of them in bed with her asleep. He went to K. He went to K. He went to K. She is out like a light. It's like he went to Jared, but not the store Jared from Subway. That's what he went to. Wait. He went to Kay. She is out like a light. It's like he went to Jared, but not the star Jared from Subway. That's who he went to.

Wait, so if he slips the ring on her finger, does he feel like she can't get out of it now? She hasn't answered. No, he thinks that when she wakes up, it's going to be so romantic. Yeah. That like she'll wake up and be like, I went to bed and I was just in a relationship and now I'm locked in a relationship.

This is why we need all these white feminist chicks to show up. Yes. Start busting kneecaps. He deserves agency. Yes. This is crazy. She does deserve agency. What if he didn't want to marry him?

This is what he wrote. It's 5 a.m. For weeks now, I've been planning on how to pop the question. You know all my moves and you are one very hard woman to surprise, but the jokes on you because you're going to wake up with three surprises, a phone full of congratulations, notifications and texts and engagement ring on your finger and syphilis and a picture of you sleeping that you don't want all over the internet surprise so he's even admitting he's doing something she isn't gonna like this is a bad way to start it off i'm just

he should have said i'm giving you three red flags yeah he looks like he might have stolen the money out of that purse to go buy that ring thank you this is her money this is your ring girl this guy's got more red flags than a par three golf course. He tells everyone in the caption. I'll let you all know the verdict when she wakes up. Facebookers loved it. Of course

many of them taking them to the comment section to share their thoughts. All that happens on Facebook. Nika Davis said all congratulations to you both, Michael. Real men do real things. I don't trust Nika. I don't trust Niko.

This is not real. Real men do do real things. This is not real. I hate it here. I hate it here. I don't like it. I don't like it. Kia Jones said,

This is cute, funny, and different. Congratulations. No exclamation points. i hope it was written and again i'm gonna repeat what i said before this is why ida rodriguez got off facebook this guy is doing something stupid and then just getting positive about it and getting positive reinforcement for it he's like that because she's gonna wake up and be like what did you do and he's gonna be like nico liked it and this person liked it no but that that's the reason why the bar is so low that is the reason why women think the show

you is romantic yes because they think that's that kind of like they don't realize how problematic that is that's the problem they think dexter was a romance. That's right. Stop. At least he was committed to him. And he's very clean. He's very clean. But like, that's my thing too. It's like, oh, you did this for your own social media dopamine release. A hundred percent. Wait, Dan, Dan, Dan. Did she wake up?

We have no idea. We don't know. I have no idea what the verdict is. They didn't even say. I hope she wakes up in life and just dumps this dude. Get out, bro. That's it. I hope that the very best case scenario is she somehow indicated she would love it if he did this.

But him saying she's not going to like a picture of her on the Internet makes me feel like she did not. She does not know. She does not know. She's not going to like it. And there's one thing you always want. It's not very Aaron Rodriguez. Yes, it does. Aaron Hernandez or Aaron Rodriguez?

Hernandez. And then he has the hat, the Patriots hat. Yeah, and he's a Patriots fan. Exactly. I don't trust any of that. All right. Well, there you go. That's the show.

Ida Rodriguez is our guest. And thank you so much for doing this. And as we say at the end of every show, oh shit, we got to get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound. Calm your downies. Dumb People Town