Dumb People Town - Al Madrigal - Monkey Island

Episode Date: January 31, 2023

Comedian/actor/Founder of All Things Comedy, Al Madrigal, is here as Randy tells the tale of a boudoir photo album lost in a divorce, Jason explains how a woman ended up superglued to a swing, and Daniel contemplates how someone tried to rob their fellow passengers on an international flight, and so much more!

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb How are you, buddy? Great to be in the basement. Great to be down in the basement with us. For those who are watching. I'm going to bring down some Totino's pizza. That's what I was going to go with. Totino's. Some flautas. A little Sam's Club mozzarella. Oh, you know what I love that I got to get back in my house? A Deli-Mex chicken taquito.

There you go. Best chicken taquitos in the world. Las Cuatro Milpas down in San Diego. You have to go. Really? In the world? Yes. Four abuelitas. You've been to Germany? You've had Mexican food in Germany? Better. Four fat abuelitas. This is how authentic the Mexican food is. Mexican food

is so authentic that with each taquito they give you a crying baby. You just get one. And you're like, do I have to take care of this one too? Yes, that's your responsibility for the rest of your life. So, Al Magical, you're here. The world is still dumb. Since the last time you've been on the show,

I would argue it's got even dumber. Yeah, a lot of dumb people. Well, we're trending. We're trending, and the only way to fight it, Daniel Van Kirk, our arrow is down. The only way to fight it is through comedy, and we get great stories sent in by our awesome fans. And so shall we?

Let's dive into one, and then we'll talk about what Al's into, because I'm doing great stuff. I'm going to do it from my phone, because that's the way we do it here, and this is how we're going to do it. Why are you scrolling through emails right now? I'm just scrolling through emails. I'm just getting through some junk emails. All right, ready for this?

Yes. It was sent in by Lacey Davidson at LaceyJD18. LaceyJD18. I don't think that Lacey has sent in before. This is a new person. Thank you for sending in. All you got to do is

hashtag Dumb People Town at Squire Brothers and at DannyVanKirk on Twitter. I believe still Twitter is happening. Is Twitter still around? I keep wondering. Al, are you on Twitter? I've been the worst with social media since it came out. You mean the best. So this is how you.

You mean the best. By not doing it, you are the best. I took them all off my phone. This is how you know someone's successful. They're like, I'm not on social media. And you're like, oh, yeah. I don't do a successful life. I think I'm going to quit it.

But I found out I can still search our stories. No one can take it personally if you do everybody, but I'm down. I've unfollowed everybody on Instagram. Well, that feels good. It does feel good.

And then you blocked your whole family. That's fine. That was a weird thing. Your son is like, why is my dad doing this? He's not returning any of my texts

and it's coming up green. Why? He didn't need to do a full cleanse. Anyway, so let me get into this headline. The headline's great. And in the headline, we will try and determine who is correct in this story and who is, I think, who is the asshole.

Right. Okay. Utah woman. Okay. I already hate her. Heavy drinker. No. She's been through a lot.

Let's just already. She's battling with another woman to be someone's wife utah woman forced to give ex-husband forced to give ex-husband i don't like that no i don't ever forced to give ex-husband husband boudoir album in divorce okay listen divorce is hard okay you just want it to be a clean break right you just if you divorce someone clean break maybe you're amicable what's your feeling on it instantly boudoir yeah like sexy photo shoot no no i got that but to have a boudoir like these are wealthy people right all right so should we go to the bedroom or the boudoir i don't think they have a boudoir wealthy people call it boudoir photos everyone else calls it dick pics

i have no idea why have you guys ever taken the tiktok challenge are you on you're on tiktok it's a thing that uh i've seen people they do around offices or whatever where men have to scroll how many tiktoks they get to before it's something like sexy or like like slutty woman or whatever or slutty man that's and um i keep seeing these tiktoks for boudoir shoots everything else on my thing is like sports uh gambling uh animals yes and i'm 100 and i have a whole bit a whole bit about how TikTok tells you exactly who you are as a person. So I think that TikTok wants me to do a boudoir shoot. They're not even, there's nothing sexy about it.

I hear the word boudoir. Yes. And I just think of a dusty pillow. Someone's got to dust out that pillow. Just shake it out. Boudoir pillows. With an older French woman smoking. Into the pillow. Boudoir to dust out that pillow. Just shake it out of those boudoir pillows. With an older French woman smoking into the pillow.

Boudoir. How do you want to do it? Okay, so we know what it is. Would you want it after your horse? On your knees. Okay, God, why are you not excited about it? That was German too. And your shoulders are back. You like this?

Smush them together. So who's wrong? Right now let's just take a gut check. Oh, he is, 100%. and your shoulders are back. Okay. He likes these? Smush them together. Okay. So who's wrong? Do you right now, let's just take a gut check. Oh, he is, 100%. Temperature check. He's wrong for forcing her

to give him the boudoir album in the divorce. Any sort of like nudity being sent to you is under the consent. Well, consent is constantly being reestablished. She didn't want to give it up.

The boudoir album, they printed out the photos. Right, but she doesn't want him to have it anymore. He shouldn't want it either. He shouldn't want it either. It should just, you know what I would do? Burn it. If a cool couple would do?

Toss them in a fire together. Yes, together. But I don't blame her for saying, someday later in my life, I might want to look back and be like, I was beautiful. Jim Rome said it. He said, if you take a picture, it's going to find its way out into the world. Either in the world or it's going to come back and haunt you if you take a picture. But if that picture has only made it to one other person.

I agree. And they were married when they did it. They did it the right way. You disillusioned everything else. Why does he want it and how does he get it is my question. Through court. Through the court. No, I know.

We'll get into this whole story. But here's what I know. It's one clear indication. They just get visitation rights. Through the court. No, I know. We'll get into this whole story, but here's what I know. It's one clear indication. They just get visitation rights. Him. Him. I get it every second. I get to be with it at a playground while someone else watches me.

Him ordering the book. 45 minutes every other Tuesday. Him ordering the book is a clear sign that he's going to move on from this. All right. Exactly. You never want to be like, have lingering creepiness. No. you never want to be like have lingering creepiness no like okay utah woman has been forced to hand over an edited boudoir album of racy nude photos of her uh to to her ex-husband

as part of their divorce so he can keep the loving messages accompanying them for memory's sake so that's why he argued oh because there's notes in there yeah there's notes in there well then also if i'm her and i don't want him to have it bye yeah i can't find it it's gone right it's burnt that's that's true destroyed yeah yeah i had it but i don't have it anymore to give right but i guess you could go to shutterfly and reorder it if you cared about it so much if he cared about it so much. If he cared about it. Apple books. Remember those? Or like eight years from now, it comes up in his memories. Yeah. 12 years ago. Remember this? Can I see your phone?

That's sad. iPhone does fuck with you like that. Lindsay Marsh, who sounds like she's like the 5 p.m. newswoman. Lindsay Marsh told KSL News that a judge forced her to distribute basically porn after ruling that her husband of how many years? How long were they married? She broke up with him. No, no. Boudoir. Yeah.

That's at least seven years. I'm saying husband of 37 years. Okay. Whoa. Dan, what do you think? I'm going to go 11 years. Jay, what do you think? 19 years. Get your answers in, Tony. Shout at your ham radios.

Or if you're watching this on the YouTube channel, the ATC YouTube channel, that's a good thing. It's a long time. You never know. After ruling that her husband of 25 years, Jason, nice job, had the right to keep the intimate messages she scrawled across the album. Well, message is fine. While the judge eventually allowed her to have the racy photos edited.

So now she's got to go and edit these things. She's got to blur stuff out and whatnot. He still knows what was there. He remembers the things. So they're obscured in order to feel less violated. To me, why is a judge allowing this to happen? Do you know what I'm saying? If he wants the messages, just say you can have the messages you can have the messages but no photos dan also why do you want

the messages this is my thing too first of all i'm 100 on hers i don't think she should have to give anything back no and i agree with al like hey you know what i accidentally burnt it um we had an oven fire right what was in the book was in there book well you just cleaned out sorry go ahead no you go i was saying we just did a big sort of, I hired a home organizer, and we got everything. She did a purge. She did a purge. If it doesn't give you joy. My kids hated her.

It was hilarious. I got the whole family around the holidays. They go, who is this woman? Why is she bossing us around? She doesn't know where stuff goes. Al, you're literally living in a sitcom. This is a perfect sitcom episode. One episode arc. And you're like, I don't know. I'm going to get to in a sitcom. This is a perfect sitcom episode. One episode arc.

And you're like, I don't know. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. She's yelling at me. I'll see. I'll focus. I'll focus. You're working on that box. You're working on that box.

Anyway, so we came across the box of Father's Day cards and Mother's Day cards. What do you do with those? What do you do with those? We had them in a box. I kept everything. Sure. So do I. Hey, honey, remember this one? I kept everything. But I was like, hey, honey, remember this one? I started reading them.

She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, just put it in the box. The throwaway box? No, no, no, we kept everything. But it was like, it ended up being all this memorabilia. In stand-up comedy, we always run across that creepy club owner, creepy club manager that wants to show you a picture of his wife's boobs. I don't want to see your wife. I don't want to see your boobs.

Why is this good for anything? I don't want to know what you like. What is your endgame out of this? You want me to think about this while i'm asking i barely want to eat here even the guys that go like i've rarely run across this but guys want to talk about like sex but then you know that they're married and i'm like i don't want to think about i barely want the lightly battered chicken breasts i don't want to look at your wife's breasts here anyway so it's violating and incredibly embarrassing what he wants to do with it right yeah that's what he wants so she she told the

salt lake tribune she's going to the salt lake tribune on this okay i agree with her i'm surprised they're even running the story even hand even having to hand over the messages is violating she insisted and i agree these are things that were sensual and loving that i wrote to my husband that i loved and you know she pushed the ed on that one uh speaking of ed that's probably the reason why my husband now she said uh lindsey marsh is being forced by the judge to give the boudoir photo okay the only way i can hopefully protect someone else from going through the same situation is tell my story and expose that these types of types of things that he thinks are okay so she's now trying to ruin any further relationship he has with anybody else.

Oh, by the way, if you're dating this guy and you're thinking about getting involved with this guy, he's going to take pictures of you and he will use them against you. They'll go in the boudoir. They're going in the album. Chris Marsh fought to keep, he was. This is the winner here. Marsh said the boudoir album was the only thing that her ex fought to keep during the whole thing. That's the only thing. This guy's a creep.

Creep. Davis County judge. Now, do you think the judge was a man or a woman? Woman. It shouldn't matter, but probably. I'm definitely saying man. What do you think? I sadly agree. Michael Edwards. He's got two male names. Michael and Edward ordered the album

would have to be handed over so that the words are maintained from memory. But I'm going to need to see it in my chamber. I will have to live through it. All rise. However, the photos could be given to the original photographer to do whatever it takes to modify them so that any pics of martial lingerie and that sort of thing, even without clothing, is obscured or taken out. The judge wrote in a ruling share with both outlets. The photographer, a close friend, initially refused to edit the picture because her. So they had a close friend.

The photographer has artistic integrity over the photos they took. Is that why they're saying they don't want to know? Because her clients trust. Would you ask Ansel Adams to edit his photo? That's right. Exactly. Would you ask Diane Arbus? Yeah.

Now there's like. This is like, 25 years is perfect because. I know. Pre-cell phone. You've been married almost 25 years, right? I've been, I'm closing in on 25 years. What are you? I'm 20. You're in your 21st.

22 this June. Yeah. 22 this June. Okay. Yeah. There you go. So there you go. So another.

What are you, 14? I'm 19 almost. 19. Wow. I'm trying to edit. Someone she believes her ex-husband knew she told the outlet she was so panicked she called the judge's clerk's office to check that it was not an error that's that's how much of a weird ruling this was she called the clerk's

office be like you guys screwed up right you guys fucked this thing up and no and this is the type of situation that used to happen all the time. Like these guys might be loosely affiliated. It's Utah. I'm saying. Oh my God. That's like an LDS. It's like an elders thing. Let's pass it around to the elders.

Listen to her quote. And this is so great because this is her quote to the tribune. Okay. And I love the way she puts this in a way that, you know, she's speaking as slowly as possible. I just want to clarify the judge has ordered me to ordered me to give nude photos of my body to a third party that i don't know without my consent that's what she's saying and i love that she's like i'm this is wild there's like there should be a gag order and i'm talking about the photos too that is part of the

order hearing the judge's order the original photographer'm talking about the photos too that is part of the order hearing the judge's order the original photographer agreed to alter the photos so what i would do with the photos is i would put like i'd black the whole thing out either black the whole thing out or put like the worst name like the mother from throw mama from the train throw that photo on there you know like matt rocky dennis master what was. What was the thing that for a long time was the thing that everyone had? Snuggie or the. Snuggie. Yeah, Snuggie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just put her in a Snuggie every time. Put her in a Snuggie every photo. Marsh understands. You should be able to Photoshop them as much as you want, but leave the message intact. Right. So, however. Every photo is Hillary Clinton.

However, Marsh understands from discussions between their attorneys that her husband is not happy with the edited photos. Good. Good. Good. You son of a bitch. I'm happy husband is not happy with the edited photos good good good you son of a bitch i'm happy you're not happy with the vote she i love that that's gotten back to her to me that's the best shot and also any woman that he dates going forward is going to google his name before that first day here you go after the whole case and this is going to come up but just why does it have to be her? Like, you know, being a guy that's married for as long as we've been married. You can find other stuff on the internet. This is a fuck you, right? That's right.

This is a fuck you. So she clearly broke up with him. She ended the marriage. And he's like, this is my only way to get back. I've complied with the court's order, even though I believe strongly that the order is violating on so many levels. She felt humiliated that she even took those photos again from years ago and had to edit the photos you are denying them personal or intimate access to you going forward that's it like i know you guys are all uh you're all you know happily married and everything but like you know we

live in a world of like nudes and everybody sends each other nudes when you end a relationship if somebody goes hey delete all my nudes you just fucking delete you gotta do it you gotta do it person for the gentlemen who are married pre-smartphone pre-smartphone we know nothing of these i know nothing i know i do not know of this i've never sent a nude is that crazy i mean young people will be like what are you doing so marsh has been ordered more about coming in than going out marsh has been ordered to keep the original album for 90 days in case her ex demands new edits so he can demand his final cut burn in this album after this is the only book i'm ever in favor of burning dan i love you and i love you l after which she plans a burning party to finally torch the painful memories. It's going to be amazing.

And I think everybody should be naked at the burning party. Is that wrong? Is that bad? Is this the new Burning Man? Chris Marsh claimed the images were not as intimate as ex-wife had said, insisting many had been posted online or had hung in their home. Who cares? I cherish the loving memories we've had for all those years.

You shouldn't. No, you don't. You don't. No. As part of a normal and appropriate exchange between husband and wife. Maybe they were, but now. Which you are no longer. You are not.

And sought to preserve that and having the inscriptions, he said. He noted that his ex-wife's take on the order was not my perspective, nor the perspective of an impartial judge. So what's the final deal with this? Just that she's got to make these edits and do that. So I'm going to show you. I mean, I don't. The boudoir photo. You got all the photos.

Randy got to post them. Randy went to college with this guy. He's not his friend, but he does have access to them. He slipped in some of the photos. So here's. Is that just her or is that a boudoir photo? That's just her. That's not a boudoir.

This is her doing the splits in a waterfall. Well, that's great. She's got a bathing suit on. Yes. But I mean, these are not the photos. So I'm going to show you the guy. This is the guy. This is what he looks like.

Does this guy seem like an asshole? He's a finance bro. And we'll post these up. He's a finance bro. He's the worst guy. He's like, he's the guy who's wearing like. He's definitely going to get killed on season three of White Lotus. Yeah. Yeah. like he's the guy who's wearing like he's definitely gonna get killed on season three of white lotus yeah yeah he looks like that guy he looks his room wasn't right right like he's

gonna argue about that he'll get killed in the first episode like it's not even the cliffhanger so he's in this photo he's wearing a vest which means you're kind of cold but in this area not all the way short sleeve short sleeve shirt i'm like you can't wear short in front of the boat so it looks like i own it also the you they people go into patagonia and say can i have the finance bro vest shut up it really is that they they i know somebody who works at a patagonia who says they get requested that all the time do you know the other thing that started because of succession just blank black hats black hats these three four hundred dollar blank hats that has become like a huge in new york and like rich people so this is so so by the way i think this is my solution for it in your prenup or whatever you or if you ever take these photos you sign an

agreement that says if anything happens between us they're gone to be destroyed and they can never be there again right these contracts have to be drawn up so if you're a lead if you're a legal person out there or a lawyer or i guess that's what they're called you draw these things up this could be a whole cottage specialize it yes specialize in in the destruction of dick pics and laying out the groundworks ahead of time or it's an emerging it's an expanding field it's an expanding field it's ever growing guys that is the first story down in the books when we come back we'll find out what al magical is up to he's got some great stuff going on and dan and us and the live dumb people town we're doing uh it's coming together in the best possible way up at san francisco sketch fest february 5th we'll

talk about it after the break this is dumb people town with al madrig. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more in Don't People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. We got Al Madrigal here. Before we mention what he's doing, we need to make a big deal out of this because I want to sell it out. It would be the desire.

This is the first time we've been on the road with this show maybe since the pandemic, right? No. We just did a run. We did a dumb run. Yeah, we did. Oh, yeah. What's wrong with you, Jay? Hold on. First time we've been in San Francisco since, sorry, at Sketch Fest.

You were in the right. You were did a wreck. First time we've been at a festival in San Francisco called Sketch Fest. This is the first time we've ever done this podcast. No, it's the first time we've ever. We're unveiling it at Sketch Fest. It's at Cobb's Comedy Club, which is one of the best clubs in the country, but it's big. So we want to fill it with you guys.

Huge room. Huge room. 400 seats. Let's fill it. I really do want to fill it. 380, whatever it is. San Francisco comes out and shows up. I, however, want about 15, 20 people there.

Stop. No, Dan. Dan, why would you put that on? Why not have a nightclub called Wolfgang's and ask when you're there to go in the basement because the basement is the exact same size as the venue. Whoa. Same. So we could have a whole other show going on down there.

The other show downstairs we're going to be showing. Really creepy, too. Boudoir photos on the loop. Yeah, there'll be a boudoir shoot. Boudoir shoot. Boudoir shoot's downstairs, guys. That is my hometown. That is my home comedy club.

That's the comedy club that first started working me, along with the Punchline. Yeah. And San Francisco people come out in force to see this show this show will be amazing so we've got uh robbie hoffman who is so great she hasn't been on the show i love her she's such a funny comedian she's like if larry david were used to be a hasidic woman is now a lesbian right and hilarious and hilarious she's so good eva kim our friend eva kim is going to be d going to be DJing which will be fantastic

and then we're working on potentially one more guest. We'll let you know when it happens. And I bet we'll be going over the things we got stuck inside us last year. It's a wonderful it's a tradition. San Francisco tradition. So that's on February 5th. That weekend before Jay and I are going to be in San Diego at the American Comedy Company

Thursday through Saturday night and then we'll be up in San Francisco. And I will be there at... And I will be there at Takedos. Yeah. I'll be at Sketch Fest the night before on the 4th doing stand-up, and I'm doing the Risk show. I love Kevin Allison. Kevin Allison from the States.

So danielvankirk.com, superscleros.com. Al, people can see you on Lopez v. Lopez, right? That is Friday nights at 8 o'clock. Even if you do not watch it, please record it. DVR it. DVR it. Just leave it on. Leave it to play.

I don't care if you watch it. You can watch it. It's doing well. I just heard a story about George Lopez. And Aaron, am I allowed to say this story or no? Okay. I just want to talk about, just because Jay and I got a chance to work with Lopez on his TBS show years ago.

We did a little thing. We came in as the racist Warner Brothers. But we weren't racist. We were like from another time period. They shot us in black and white and everything we were saying was racist. Also, it was so funny that I broke three times and ruined the sketch. And I'm like, oh, this is why I'm not ever asked to do sketches on a late night show. But it was really fun.

I also did sketches on Lopez tonight. I was a Chilean miner. Remember when the Chilean miners? Yeah. Oh, my God. And then I was also a Latino Abraham Lincoln. I don't remember the sketch. By the way, I love it.

I love both. That's hilarious. So Lopez was at like an auction, and he was at Dodger stadium with albert pujols erin our wonderful producer and engineer uh is a huge st louis cardinals fan and there was going to be a pujols jersey signed up for sale at this auction and lopez bought it for erin bought it before it could go up for auction which he probably you know it probably would have sold for more. So I don't know if that's a great idea. He may have low-balled it.

He did not low-ball it. He did not low-ball it. I could also see him donating a significant amount of money. I'm sure he did. Yeah. And so he bought this thing, so it sold for a good amount of money, and then he gave it to Aaron. That's awesome.

Isn't that great? So I love this guy. It's a thoughtful, generous gift. And knowing that it's just pretty. Aaron, you love it? Love it. The listener aaron you love it love it aaron loves it it's so cool and it just makes me love the guy on that reason alone go watch the show lopez very generous dude and he's doing it with his daughter mayan lopez it's his real life daughter and it's just it really is a group everyone says this but it's the most delightful people. And George is like a really funny, generous dude.

I play a big stoner. Yes. And I love it. It's great. Was there a little bit of method acting going on? You be the judge. You be the judge. See what he's taking.

Watch it. Don't drug test him on the set. And so watch that Friday nights. Lopez versus Lopez. That's awesome. All right. Let's jump into another story. Shall we?

Story number two. I'm going to read the headline. And again, this is, I don't know if this woman is the dummy or if the people are the dummies. Okay, good. I love it. Woman's horror after she ended up sitting on super glued swing in vile prank. Oh, that's horrible. That, okay.

I would. As a man who just flex sealed his entire home because of the storm. Of course. These super glues are insane. They are really nuts.

But, I feel like they are also quick drying. Yes. And this woman's a real fucking dummy. Right, because you would have seen like a wet swing. Thank you. What is that? Hey, what is that goo? Yes, and this woman's a real fucking dummy right because you would have seen

Thank you Enough to stick her to bottom to the seat and to the swing it would have to be a significant amount of Horrible prank so horrible horrible horrible By the way the best dad ever for Flex seal is this woman walking around with dragging chains of a forever flex seal is amazing are you a do you do pranks i i i used to do april fool's but wait on my father you're in your special on your father on my father in my special it's a true story when a ballet studio oh yeah and i did shrimp my daughter's ballet shrimp the hell out of it shrimping ain't easy it's an unbelievable special you trimmed it i hid i hid shrimp but that's more a vendetta that is a vendetta the pranks were you know i'd tease my dad yeah yeah but like pranks

whoever is doing something like this also this is just mean like prank wars stress me out yes what about children sitting on this? And what about bear skin? What about bears? You ready to hate the... This is sent in by Carleen McDermott at SheBeCarly. Woman found herself in a sticky situation.

Oh my God. Is this the New York Post? No, but goddamn you. When she sat on a child's swing, smothered inothered was this a menu at a southern restaurant barbecue sauce we smothered these biscuits yeah by the way smothered also to me like sounds like you did something inhumane to whatever piece of chicken it's very rare that we have something that denotes killing someone and being like delicious or being like a

Jewish mother. Okay. We smothered this chicken. Firefighters had to use petrol. Firefighters. By the way, that so I was going to say that breaks it down, right? Yeah. Oil. Oil breaks it down. Petrol. Gas. Gas. To deactivate the super glue and free the woman from the playground.

It is thought that vandals maliciously smeared the strong adhesive onto the swing in a wicked prank. Wicked prank. The swing could have been used by an unsuspecting toddler. This is what you were saying. Or before the woman fell victim to the trap. So also I'm also wondering why is...

We all went to parks with our kids. Why is this woman getting on a swing? I can't remember the last time I got on a swing. If a little kid's going to be on your lap, and they don't have the little sort of bucket swing with the straps. Or the wherewithal. I'm going to ask you guys a question. Growing up, did you ever do the swing and then let yourself do a backflip?

No. That's crazy. A backflip? It became a big thing in Rochelle. Dan, you did not do a backflip off. Three days before the end of school, Brandon Watson goes, he swings, he does the backflip over. His arms get caught in the chains. He breaks both of his arms.

God damn it. Three days before summer. Just this. So he's in this thing all summer. His whole summer is just this. I was too scared to ever. I never did. I would do the jump, you know, big jump off.

Let me change scared to smart. Big jump is fine. And then that's jump, you know, big jump off. Let me change scared to smart. Big jump is fine. Dan, you were smart. I used to do my move with the kids when they were little and this kills for all young parents out there. I would get my toddler and they were going in the swing and I would look at

it, a leaf or anything, a little twig, and I'd go, hey, I'm going to pick this up under no circumstances will you kick me in the booty and just open it up wide and just let him have at it and then do like the

biggest pratfall just destroy best dad of the world three stooges it's a great dad joke you know what the pranksters did also when they put the petrol on there? They came in and lit her on fire. That felt excessive.

After the fire department, they came in and were like... I love that someone, you know, obviously people comment. One person said, what's wrong with these people? By the way... Great comment. I need to comment on this right here.

What's wrong with this man? What's the best thing you can say? Then this person's comment to me might be the dumbest thing ever said about this whole thing. Not the last one? Not this one. What is worrying is who walks around with glue. This is what you're worried about? Huffers?

It's either done on purpose or they're on glue. They're on glue. They're on glue. They're on glue. They're on glue. They're on glue. They're on glue. They're on glue. So do you, obviously you're old enough to remember this, the old Reese's peanut butter commercials where like the woman is sitting in the. At the movie theater. At the movie theater with an open jar, the guy sitting with an open jar of peanut butter

and the guy from the balcony like jumps, is scared by the movie and then like a piece of chocolate drops in. I'm like, who who is what psycho is showing up to a movie theater with just an open jar of peanut butter and pawing it out like a bear like a bear you enjoyed this movie i can't talk right now i gotta stick my open hand into a jar of peanut that should not be allowed in any way shape or form like i hope covid stopped that no but there was another commercial where two people were walking i showed this to my daughters i was like you guys this is the dumbest thing ever you know how you like raise

peanut butter cups watch how stupid this is two people walking around a corner a man and a woman she's holding an open jar of peanut butter and he bumps into her hey your peanut butter is in my chocolate your chocolate's in my peanut butter hey asshole why are you walking around with open peanut butter so unsanitary i just got my food you know and unsanitary. I just got my food at any sporting event. Yes. I got my food. And then you have to walk, especially if it's at halftime. Oh, my God.

The weave. The weave with the sneeze and the breathing and all. You need a dome. I was guarding. Food dome. Please have like a nacho. A chafing dish. They should give you a metal serving dish

this is crazy so your shire fire and rescue services so this is in england sent to the park to rescue the woman a crew from bedale was called into the fema whose hand had become stuck on the chain of the swing so it wasn't in the seat of the swing it's in the it's on so you put your hands on the chain and then now you're stuck you're stuck to the thing and you can't how did she call i don't even know is there a chance she was targeted i see this woman this woman should get it and i'm looking at this woman this adult woman and like she's the type person that would get on a swing let's lather them up well it's that the fact that you don't see this gooey ass swing just sitting there.

I mean, if it's on the chains, it's half a dried bird turd. I'm looking for it. This is on the chains on the side. I'm going to put this in the same category of like adult coloring books and adult kickball league. It's like at Disneyland.

You don't need to do that. You don't need to get in the swing. Like, I'm not blaming the victim, but by the way, I would say in every single scenario, and Al's character on Lopez vs. Lopez would agree with me, if you're fucked up, all those things are wonderful. Then it's all, then you're into the games. Then you're into, then you...

I have definitely done some drunk swinging before. Sure. In boudoir. If you're high swinging and this happens to you, then you're like, this only happens when you're high. This only happens when I'm high. You'd also be in denial. Like, I'm not really stuck. This isn't happening.

Hold for the helicopter, please. Yeah, right. Holding. Over the summer, crews were called to a swath of incidents. Over the summer, crews were called to a swath of incidents. This isn't the only time people got stuck in swings. Where teenagers had squeezed themselves into the tiny rubber child seats. And it was sparked by a TikTok challenge, which encouraged youngsters to get inside while being filmed. So the bucket seats where the legs go through, they're trying to get in there.

Oh, no. That's a toddler game. One county saw how many teens have to be cut free in a space of two months. With the jaws of life. Cut free in a space of two months. How many in a space of two months? In two months in one area, I guess maybe one set of parks. I'm going with the same number I predicted on that marriage, 37.

37? What are you saying? Yeah, I'm going to say 26. Ooh, I'm going to drop that down by 20. I'm going to go six. Six? Six. Get your drop that down by 20. I'm going to go six. Six? Six. Get your answers in.

Shout in. This is from the TikTok challenge. Okay. Similar. People getting stuck in swings. One county saw 18 teens. Wow. Very good.

Maryside Fire and Rescue Services said 14 of those incidents happened in May alone. There's no way all those teens didn't know each other. Which required them to dismantle the whole swing. So, like, at least one of them saw their friends get stuck. And we're like, well, I'll give it a try. And who's the dummy that keeps putting the swing back? Right. You lose it.

You want to cut it. It's just like, we're done with it. We don't get, we've proven we don't deserve to be on swings. We can't have nice things. And again, since we are so old, remember what they were back in the day. They were metal. They were metal. They were metal. They were metal swings.

Yeah. Or that rubber. And the other thing is, we can't have nice swings. To me, this is the definition of criminal mischief, though, isn't it,

though, Dan? Oh, my God. It's totally. Putting super glue on a swing, that's criminal mischief. But if I could find the person who did this to me.

Also, like, how much, you guys would know this with your kids, playgrounds are drastically different from when we were little oh yes because when i feel like it was just metal bars assembled in some way that you could climb around yeah and then like a 40 foot steel slide that was like if you you would slide and you just let kids stick who could learn to walk within the last year and a half climb up to the top of this thing and then slide go down and then a merry-go-round that would just fling kids off into wood chips san francisco city zoo was one of the most treacherous places they had just a uh

in in that playground you're talking about just all metal all metal sharp edges that metal death trap and then they had knives nearby that Have you guys heard about Monkey Island? No. No idea. That's the name of this episode. Monkey Island. Somebody threw just a cement pyramid with no moat around a cement pyramid, threw some monkeys on it. Where is this?

This was the old San Francisco Zoo. There wasn't a tree. Oh, that's how they loved to live. Monkey Island. Monkey Island. Well, by the way, if you told me Monkey Island was a new flavor of Ben and Jerry's, I'd be like, yeah. Or a great bar in San Francisco. Pineapple cones.

I would go to that bar in San Francisco. Are you kidding me? You guys going to Monkey Island tonight? Wait, what happened? They've all just died, right? They were all inbred. It was just like, you know know like a four eyed monkey monkeys

smoking and stuff little owls on a 65 foot slide they would throw that's where they'd throw the poo at you of course well why wouldn't you at this point but my dad used to but my dad used to that's when they let you bring food and feed the animals too so my dad used to, and I know we're completely, but my dad used to, that's when they let you bring food and feed the animals, too.

So my dad would bring, Al Madrigal would take in a huge bag of Granny Smith apples and just chuck them right into the bear's mouth. Feeding the bears. So the bears open up and you're throwing fastballs into a bear's mouth. Why is that bear choking? Because this guy right here is throwing a fastball, a high fastball into a bear's mouth. Why is that bear choking? Because this guy right here is throwing a fastball, a high fastball to the granny's smith. The guy behind your dad's got two buckets of KFC. When you're done, man,

I brought this. I'm going to chuck this chicken out and see what happens. What about the bones? They like the bones. No one monitoring at all. Dude, Monkey Island tells me that no one is monitoring anything. Yeah, we let the kids go to Monkey Island. And that was the same zoo where the kids snuck in and stole the koalas, too, at Christmas to give to their girlfriends. That's...

Is that a dumb people town? Is that real? That is, yeah. Nobody's written a book about the free-for-all that was the San Francisco Zoo. Yeah, oh my God. Oh my God. It is ridiculous. I love it. All right, well, there you you go there's story number two number two out of the books Dan you give us a little taste of oh you know what it

is what is it it's bad stuff on an airplane I love it but not in the way we're used to hearing we'd fly we all fly so much and you're gonna have passengers are the way we're used to hearing. Maybe somebody jacking it. It's not sexual and it's not like violent. All right. We'll hear all of that on the other side of this break. I can't wait. Al Madrigal is with us.

It's Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Al Madrigal is with us. We were just talking in the break about our Patreon, which is so fun. We've sort of changed the tenor of it

and what you're getting and which is much more interactive with you guys. First of all, the level is $5 a month. If you're at a different level and you want to stay there because you're just a true BA

who wants to prove your love, go for it. But otherwise, it's $5. So you jump on and you get all this extra stuff. What we're doing now and this is what you guys can do is you write in and tell us a dumb story from your life and we will break it down so three of us tell us your monkey island tell us your monkey island

right and we will break it down you'll take us home feel free to include a photo of the incident or your time or how old you were when that when it happened anything you want we will spin with if you want to hear us break down your life here we we go. It's so much fun. It's only five bucks. Plus you get ad free apps. Okay. This was sent in by, we talk about practice, at notagame underscore AI. Great, great. Okay.

Talk about practice. In-flight theft on Buenos Aires to Miami flight. So this is like a Liam Neeson movie. Go ahead. Okay. But hold on. Yes. 12 hour flight. Any this is like a Liam Neeson movie. Go ahead. Hold on. 12 hour flight. Any flight to Miami. You should expect

to have your shit stolen. There's going to be something going down. Something's going down. 100%. I did a Newark to Miami. That was a rough flight. It really was. Really? Yes. How many pre-boards? A lot. Just. It was. Insane.

I was alert. Yeah. Because, you know when you get in a situation where you tell your kids, everybody look alive. Everybody get heads up. We don't know who's going to come training. When I said Miami, damn right there was theft. That was the least of what was going on. You can't look alive for 12 hours.

Who was, what was the line like? Feel free to fly. Now you're free to fly. Free to move about the country. Fly the friendly skies. Remember that? United, I think. If you're flying to Miami, the tagline is, if you see something, say something.

That feels like, that's a bad tagline for me. I don't know if you guys do this. I assume you do. This is a pro tip for anybody who travels, whether it's as much as us or once a year. Everyone likes to put their carry-on bag above their seat. Stupid. Put your carry-on bag across the aisle from you

above your seat so you can see it. The whole time. Anybody? Because somebody just says, open your seat. You have no idea. He starts fishing around up there. I always think Dan Pro Temp. No, no, no. What's that guy going through? When somebody even moves, what's that?

No, even somebody takes my jacket or someone moves it. Why'd you move my jacket? I go, hey, need a little help up there? What's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything good. Dan. Dan with the deep blabber.

You guys good? You good up there? You good? You good? Need anything? Need a hand? Do you want me to move something for you? That's it.

Because my things are in close proximity to your hand. I have a jacket. I have a backpack. I have a boudoir book. Okay? It's all up there. Any of that shit is touched or moved? You're in the bulkhead, right?

And you are forced to put your carry on up. Above you. You know, you're just like... Even your personal bag. You want your personal bag. You've got to throw it across from you. You're totally right. That's a great call.

So what happened? Thet. Police were called to meet American Airlines flight AA900 from Buenos Aires. That's EZE to Miami, MIA. On the morning of July 5th, 2022, according to court documents, a passenger stole how much money in flight from a person how much another person stole stole in flight i'm gonna say five thousand dollars okay jay what do you think if it's five thousand argentinian there's a chance by the end of the flight that it was worth nothing

it fluctuates a lot i'm gonna say000 is a good guess. I'm going to say $1,500. I'm going to say $800. They stole. This isn't all they stole, but in U.S. dollars from this person, they stole $10,022. Oh, my God. That's more than you could enter the United States with. You have to declare.

We're going to Miami. Was this in the shape or form of a fine powder? Every dollar was already rolled into a straw. I love how I'm all about the rules. But you can't travel with that money. I mean, it's not true. Did we mention it's going to Miami? He stole $10,000 plus two credit cards from passengers seated near him.

By the way, 7,000. Oh, a variety of passengers. $10,000, I think, was from one person alone. And then the credit cards were from other Oh, a variety of passengers. $10,000 I think was from one person alone and then the credit cards were from other people. And this isn't even all of it. $7,000 of that money should have been to pay the custom agents to look the other way. You gotta agree.

Wait, wait, wait. How does he get people's credit cards? Because some people will take their purse and leave it there or their wallet out of their back pocket and put it into the thing in front. And then they just go to the bathroom. I saw a viral video once of somebody who went to the bathroom, came back, and it was like $2,000, $3,000. And he was saying, he goes, someone on this flight took $3,000 from me. I'm not a violent person, but none of us are getting off this motherfucking flight.

Because you know, this is why I said it's like a Liam Neeson movie. You know someone on this flight has your money. We're going to take everybody row by row. I'm going to be asking you some questions. Open up your wallet. I will be touching your wife. What? No.

If you have $10,000 on you, I don't care if it's a flight or the San Francisco Zoo. Keep it on your person. It goes in your underwear. You know what I got? I got one of those belts. You got one? Under the shirt. Little Euro traveler.

You're traveling with Aaron Rodgers? Discount double check. The issue came to light after flight attendants observed suspicious behavior, including a passenger repeatedly walking up and down the aisle and sitting for an extended period of time not his seat that didn't belong to him that's it heads up to these flight attendants who are like good what what you don't that's not you this is by the way this isn't like the end of a cubs game you know what or the beginning of a cubs game i go sit you have no idea how many places I sit. I was trying to be generous. I was trying to be generous. Do you remember the Chicago Comedy Festival when they used to do that?

And it was like a Montreal thing. It's the same people. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just for like Chicago. JFL, Chicago. Yeah, yeah. So we had, it was one of those things where they had a party for us in the bowling alley and I knew everybody.

Right. Sure. And that's, everyone was getting sauced up. My flight was at 6 a.m. Okay. This is a smart move. This is a smart move. You're like, at some point, you're like, I'm staying up all night.

I did it. I was like, but people were getting sauced. Crash. Yeah. And it was just nonstop. Some comic wanted to, I'm spacing on who it is, and he's semi-cop,

he wanted to fight me because I called his girlfriend a bad bowler. Isn't she such a good bowler? And I go, I look at her and I go, yeah, I've seen a lot of bowling, and I don't think she's doing it well. She's not that great. That's how drunk people were. I've seen a lot of bowling and I don't think she's doing it well. She's not that great. You're good.

That's how drunk people were. Yeah, but like slow whisperer. You fucking say that to me. Damn. To me, saying your girlfriend's not a good bowler to me has to be said

in like a mafia style. Your girlfriend's not a good bowler. Can I tell you something? I'll tell you something. She's a horrible bowler. What's the opposite of a good bowler?

Would you get her? Is she a gutterler. What's the opposite of a good bowler? You come into our lane. You come into our lane and you say that to me? His girlfriend is a good bowler with a circle around her and a line through it. She's a walking foot fowler. It is interesting when you do the all night I have to fly out the next morning because you just get to watch

the night deteriorate. You have nowhere to go. But i was part of the deterioration i get i can't believe i made it to my flight yeah i had been traveling so much at that point so i'm in first class yeah and that's lucky everybody to get their meal and i'm like i gotta go to the bathroom and so i got up and i was in the bathroom for an hour and for an extended period of time for the time you should somebody pounds on the door oh shit boom boom boom like that and i remember opening up and there's this little latino uh steward and I go who did that? And he goes it was him. And there's this guy standing in the middle

with his arms crossed. Which means if you had looked right you would have figured it out. Wasted still. And I go hey you didn't pat on the door? And I go let me explain to you how airline bathrooms. This is a middle of a flight. In first class.

Yeah, in first class. Bro, let me explain to you now. Ow. No, so dumb. And another thing. I bet your wife's a bad bowler. So he looked like, he did look like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets. Yeah, okay, I'm with you on that.

And it's Jeffrey Tambor. It was not happening. And I go, hey, man, let me explain to you how airplane bathrooms work. Red light on. Yeah, you don't come in. You don't come up. You don't even get out of your seat. What are you doing pounding?

I go, there's one in the back. You walk to the back. Yeah. And then he goes, you were in there for very long. I go, I was in there for as long as I was in there. You got it? I was drunk at a bowling alley two hours ago. Just waste, trash.

Yeah. And I swear to you, an image of my wife appeared over my shoulder and said, everyone's looking at you. Sit down now. Sit down now. And I looked around and I just went boop. In mid-sentence. That's so great. She is your super ego, your wife.

She's your guardian angel. Eye mask and just headphones, blanket. But you were in the bathroom long enough to have shit stolen from you. Had you left something on your seat, a laptop and a bag. And that's the thing is that I have heard stories like this of people trying to take laptops. And there's, think about all the electronics are left.

And also when you're going through TSA, I take my wallet out. I take my keys out. I take everything out and I sort of throw it in a zipped pocket. And then here's all my goods, you know, my valuables in a zipped pocket. So this guy is. Kudos to these guys for picking it up. Another crew member observed the passenger with a wallet that looked like it belonged to a female. A little bit of gender.

The flight crew advised passengers in the area to search their belongings to see if anything was missing. One passenger confirmed that $10,022 and 13,800 Argentinian pesos, which is about $25, $35, a hundred, 109 bucks. Thank you. Uh, we're missing one things that anyone we're making fun of Argentina and their

economic collapse. We are, we are. You could go to Argentina, I think in the early 2000s and buy a hotel for $30,000. You could. You could.

I was there. So I went to Argentina in 2005. I was in Buenos Aires and we went to the nicest restaurant in town and got a steak dinner. It's unbelievable. Two nights in a row, it was $40.

$40 American dollars. So this woman is missing over $10,022. And $109 American dollars worth of Argentinian pesos. Another passenger inspected her belongings after hearing about the situation and noticed that she was missing $720.

We're almost up to $11,000. This dude is like, make this guy pick a marker. And $520 in pesos, which is four US dollars, and two credit cards. After being searched, it was determined that the thief had two credit cards in his possession, matching the name of another traveler. Furthermore, a passenger was able to identify some of the bills in the thief's possession based on unique stamps some of the bills had on them. That's great.

Who stamps their own money? You're marking your own bills. I love it. Mark your own bills. Catch a thief trying to catch someone red-handed. When questioned by police, the passenger admitted that he had stolen from other passengers. Big kudos to the American Airlines crew for being so. So if you find this after he takes your stuff, do we get to beat on him while we're in the air?

What happens then in the air? Oh, got me. It's probably a federal offense, right? Now you're stuck in the air, though. It's got to be. It's FAA. It's got to be federal. By the way.

You're in a federal situation. He admitted it after they stepped off his neck. It's like Randy Moss. Yeah. They stepped off his neck. Wild. Moss is going down on a flight when you're on a flight. Are you guys up and involved? is definitely it just depends who's to me i'm like just please i've thrown out a like hey let's take it easy over

here i've had people like sexually going at it on a flight oh yeah and the guy's like and i'm like you're doing it stop looking at me looking at you. I'm enjoying this. I'm just videotaping it. So is she. I'm just filming it and posting it online. You're the one. Why am I the evil person? Do you know the Safeway near the San Francisco punchline that's down low in Embarcadero? Yeah.

I watched the most epic movie fight in there. A guy, the security guard just had had enough. This guy was shoplifting. And San Francisco homelessness is a whole other subject. And this guy had a backpack full of shit. And the security guard was like, not today. The thief grabbed the security guard and threw him on a pile of strawberry, like a strawberry display. It was strawberry season. a strawberry display. Strawberry season.

Strawberries everywhere. And I watched the most epic fight in a... Blood or strawberry juice? We don't know. No, it was just strawberry fight. And finally, I was like, enough. You called it? Very, very loud. I go,

stop this now! Yeah. And both guys just looked at me. I was like, oh. You became your wife to them. Yes. Over the shoulder. Kristen Madrigal jumped in. Kristen Madrigal jumped in.

Stop it now. It's strawberry season. She doesn't just make great tres leche cake. No. She does know how to stop a fight. She does know how to stop a fight. And she can be your personal thing. Al Madrigal, thank you for joining us on Dumb People Done.

This was a great jaunt, right? Fast and furious. I love this. If you for joining us on Dumb People Done. This was a great jaunt, right? Fast and furious. I love this. If you love this show, again, listen to it on wherever you listen to podcasts. You can check that out. Or you can watch it on YouTube. Give it a nice comment. We love to bump that up, too. We love you guys, and

oh shit, we've got to get back to work.