Dumb People Town - Ali Macofsky - Wookie Mistake

Episode Date: September 6, 2022

This week Ali Macofsky comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is all about hair, or the lack of hair. The second story follows a pregnant woman at McDonalds. The final story is about the worst place for a proposal.If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. 

Skypains Avenue Hey, Tatties. Welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population.

Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. Population. episode of dumb people town population you population McCloskey Oh Ali McCloskey hi long time come I haven't seen you since we're in a different country it didn't feel like a different country though I think much well feels very European did you go down to old gorgeous I didn't do too much of old town exploring but I just thought I, I didn't do too much of old town exploring, but I just thought, I mean, I had never been to Canada before, so I thought this was going to be like a crazy international experience. Well, Canada's not. Canada's just like a Rush song.

But Montreal. Canada's the United States in 1978, essentially, is what that is. Yeah, I mean, I got to go back. Sure. Toronto feels very like hybrid New York, Chicago, like Chicago North. Yes, very Chicago North. That's a great way to describe it.

I love Toronto. I think Milwaukee is like mini, I'm gonna call it mini Toronto, mini Chicago. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a suburb of both cities. So for fans of ours who may not know who you are, I'm gonna tell everyone, get on her stand-up. You are one of my favorite, I will say, young stand-ups doing it today,

but of the newer comedians. Which is crazy because you've been D7 years old. I am. She's still got new faces. And she has a new face. This is a new face. You had a procedure done. I had many procedures done.

I'm an industry plant, and they paid a lot for me to look this young-ish. You look great. Thank you so much. I'm just such a fan of your comedy. Every time it comes across my TikTok, I'm like,

okay, I cannot wait to see. Is Shaved Head, what album is that off of? I love that bit. What album? I don't have it. You don't have an album?

What future album is that going to be on? Shaved Head bit is one of my favorites. Is it? Yes, it's a great bit. It's such a good one. Lots of good comedy bits for you.

All right, well, so here's the thing, and what I love about your comedy too, not afraid to make fun of yourself, not afraid to say I did this stupid thing, and that's what we're going to look at stupid behavior, and our fans send us the stories. Oh, my God, I'm the dumbest. Well, then you're going to hold tight,

and you might be able to give us new insights into some people's behavior. Tell us how, you're like the forensic person, like when they be able to give us new insights into some people's behavior. Tell us how. You're like the forensic person when they're like, let's get this serial killer's idea to get into a serial killer's mind. You're going to help us figure this out. Our fans send us stories. You're dumb Hannibal Lecter for us. Yeah.

All right, dumb Lecter. Let's do this shit. No, but our fans send us stories. At Daniel Van Kirk on Twitter. Hashtag dumb people town. And then he knows who sent it. First, let's jump into a story. And as always, Ali, anywhere you want to take these stories, go with it.

Take them. We all have a steering wheel. Okay. We're all driving. We'll go with you. Okay. This was sent in by Brew. B-R-E-W.

Brew VR for life at Brew Pounder. Brew virtual reality. So is he sober? Can you drink beer virtually? I think you can do anything virtually. Yeah, you can do anything virtually. Can you drink beer virtually? I think you can do anything virtually Can you get drunk virtually? I just found out about virtual strip clubs What?

So porn sites But it's avatars, right? Well, okay, I guess I said this wrong I'm dumb But there's live streams I think you can go to a strip club digitally online And watch it live. And they can come up and talk to you.

It's almost like a group camming. A group cam. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Hold on. I want to hear about this business model. Dan's like, I want a woman talking to me while I'm looking at a Japanese businessman in the distance. So it's more like all the fans.

Yeah. It's not only fans. You guys, that's just distance. So it's more like all the fans. Yeah. Not only fans. You guys, that's just only me and you. Only a bunch of fans. That's all fans. Only fans and just other people. And other people. And other people watching.

So there we go. So BrewVR. BrewVR for life at BrewPounder. Thanks for sending it. This is just the guy's name who sent in the story. Okay, here's the headline. Ready? This comes from Newsweek.com.

Bride calls off wedding when bald groom's wig falls off mid-ceremony. Oh, yeah. The bald bit. We're back to the bald bit. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. So wait, wait. So get it if you can.

I don't want to make you do the bit, but you shaved your head. Yeah, I shaved off all my hair. I looked like Daniel. Gorgeous. I looked great. I had a little bit more facial hair though i do have some whiskers i get yeah you gotta like them for alice size those off do you yeah i have one right now that i'm just keeping for to play with oh that's nice that's great but yeah i shaved off all my hair and like smooth bald not even just like a there was a there was a little bit of hair. There was some hair, but it was tiny.

It was like the razor was in full use. Did you cry when you did it? No, I wanted to do it for so long, but I was so nervous. I was just so scared. Bold move. Yeah. Crazy move. What if I have lumps on my head?

And this was two weeks ago? This was two weeks ago, yeah. Look at Dan's head. I want to call him. Dan's head is gorgeous. This is weeks ago? This was two weeks ago, yeah. Look at Dan's. Dan has a good head. Dan's head is gorgeous. This is fresh. This is this morning. Good, man.

Yeah. I didn't know. I did a backflip into a pool once, and I hit the lip of the pool's edge. So I thought I was going to have, because I can feel a bump there. So I thought it was going to be this noticeable dent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I shaved it, and it looked great. Well, no.

Your mom didn't think it looked great. My mom was very disappointed. She started crying when she saw me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But I shaved it and it looked great. Well, no. Your mom didn't think it looked great. My mom was very disappointed. She started crying when she saw me. Oh, God. So there was crying. Yeah, she cried. She cried. She was like, you used to be so beautiful.

You were so beautiful. Used to be. I was like, you used to be a good mom. And there it is off my fifth album. Upcoming to be album. So, But now let's put into perspective. Dan celebrates his baldness. This guy is covering it up. I embrace it.

I was so bad when guys were. It's like everybody can tell, man. Everybody can tell. Dan, you couldn't pull a comb over. Or a wig. A rug. I look great in a wig. You do actually.

You do look good in a wig. Have you guys heard the theory that maybe Justin Timberlake has fake hair? I hope he does. No, but I'm intrigued. There's this rumor that Justin Timberlake wears like, they're becoming more and more popular. I keep seeing the videos of the guys getting like, they'll be like losing hair at the top of their head. And so they'll shave it off and then they'll put like a sticky pad on on with hair i've seen tiktok says it's like pro it's so good yeah yeah he has like a rug just on the top part of his head yeah well justin dimmer like i don't know what his deal is but i

know that there's well i don't know so you're officially saying he does do this right here on record guys we all have friends i don't know if you know that, but I know you know them who have had the FUE hair transplant treatment. Oh, yeah, Andy Hainsey talks about it. And you would never know. Oh, yeah, Andy talks about it. I support it, but the thing about this story is like,

if you're going to commit to having fake hair, put in the money, make it worth it. Yeah, 100%. Don't let it be sliding off your head. That's embarrassing. I don't want to be married to someone who can't even responsibly get a hair. And that's why I worth it. Don't let it be sliding off your head. That's embarrassing. I don't want to be married to someone who can't even responsibly get a hair. Exactly. And that's why I support it.

Okay, here's what happened. I'll read it. A bride in India reportedly called off her wedding upon learning that her groom was bald. According to India Today, the wedding ceremony was underway and I'm going to try to do my best. Uttar Pradesh, India.

That's good. When the groom fainted on his way to the altar, when he fell, said the outlet, his wig fell off, revealing his baldness. Okay, this is such... This is why you don't have an arranged marriage. Oh, well, arranged marriages are still common in the Indian subcontinent,

and the Times of India reported in March that around what percentage of people in the Indian subcontinent, and the Times of India reported in March that around what percentage of people in the country opt for a marriage arranged by family members or matchmakers? So I'm just going to have you guess. What percentage of people do you think in this subcontinent of India are still doing matchmaking? I think a lot. Okay. I'm going to give me a number. I'm going to make that one.

Okay. We'll go first. Jay, what do you think? I think 60%. Okay. Oh, I think it's like 37%. What? What do you think?

You think more than 60%? More than 60%? Go with your gut. I'm going to go 77%. Wow. Okay. And if I'm wrong, this podcast is over. I'm watching it.

The Times of India reported in March that around 85%- Oh! I was going to go higher, but I got nervous. I saw you start to go at it. I was about to say 90%. Oh, really? I thought you were going to go in the 80s. You still win. Dana, how could I be?

I believed in you. This is my podcast. 85? I know. You own it now. See, that's the thing. Everyone who does, for the most part, people who do arrange, I want to get arranged marriage. Right?

You want someone else to work it out for you. Yeah, because then you're just like because here's the thing marriage you guys know after time you're like who is this my anniversary today 18th anniversary today who is this person next to me and you like well after a while you just feel you

have kids I mean I don't know I've never been married or had children or anything describing it to a team no but you are nailing it but it's like after you have kids it stops even becoming like you meet because you're like, they're sexy and I just want to bone them all the time. And then after a while, you're like, this is a business. It becomes like a business relationship. Dude, 90% of my relationship with my wife is logistics.

Yes. I'm like, did you pick this up over here and got to take this over here? I'm going to the store to pick this up. You got to move the car over here. Also, if it's an arranged marriage, you never have to second guess yourself. You second guess other people. Somebody did this wrong. Yeah, this up. You've got to move the car over here. Also, if it's an arranged marriage, you never have to second guess yourself. You second guess other people. Somebody did this wrong. Yeah, you just –

You have someone to blame. And then you look at them and you go, hey, look, we both – they did this to us. We're just trying to make it work. So you could do – it's not – you know, it's not me. It's you. There's not that. It's them. It's not us.

It's that person. It's my uncle. Yeah. I think arranged marriages are beautiful because there's no, like, expectations besides, like, we're sticking together no matter what and then if something does arise like you get to build your relationship through this like weird

circumstance I think it's great. There you go so 85% of people so he's arranged had he met this person well in this case neither the bride nor the family the bride nor her family knew that the groom was bald upset the bride, the bride nor her family knew that the groom was bald. Upset, the bride called the ceremony off mid-ceremony. Why are you going to be upset about that?

Why are you going to be upset about that? I don't, this is the- You can't change him? I don't like being tricked. Tricked is one thing. If you're going to get married, it has to be based on a foundation of trust. If you're going to be arranged marriage- This is the picture that they use in the-

Oh, God. Like, the bald shaming also is so out of control. So our buddy Goldie, Julia Sharp, wrote a fantastic book about baldness. So you're going bald? So you're going bald. It's so good and it's so smart. And Larry David talks about it all the time. And it's just like, yeah, I actually think bald is –

I've seen so many people pull it off and make it look super cool. Yeah. I think bald dudes – Dan, you're one of them. I'm just saying that like I've seen so many people pull it off and make it look super cool yeah i think bald dudes dan you're one of them i'm just saying that like i've seen so many dudes will smith's wife okay there you go you better take that out of your mouth the bride's family begged her to reconsider however she maintained her refusal said india today as a result the matter was taken to the police and eventually i'm trying here a panchayat meeting was called i'm doing my best people you're doing great britannica the encyclopedia i don't know explained that a

panchayat is the most important adjudicating and licensing agency in the self-government of the indian caste okay consisting of five or more members the panchayat cites as a court of law. So you go to them to go. What do we do here? Right. Cases are heard in open meetings in which all members of the caste group concerned are entitled to take part. Types of offenses adjudicated in meetings of the panchayat are breaches of eating, drinking,

or smoking restrictions, infractions of marriage rules, breaches of caste, customs, and feasts, breaches of its trade rules, and so on. During the Pinchayat meeting, the bride and groom's respective families agreed to call off the wedding between their children. Additionally, the groom's family was forced to cover the cost of the wedding. So that sucks that the groom's family had to cover the cost of the wedding. But the deal is and now is it going to mean he won't be able to No, no.

I think he has to go forward and be his bald self. Well, I think this is where I'm showing my lack of knowledge on this. You must say hey, I'm willing you can arrange a marriage for me.

Here's what I want. Right. And then you find someone who wants the things you have and they have the things you want. And so she's just saying like, this was on my list. Do you think it was on her list? Well, I mean, I feel like she.

I feel like it would have to be to feel entitled to call it off. I feel like it wasn't on her list or else he would have. But maybe it was on her list and he's like, she'll never know. How do you think she's never going to know? And if you're arguing for her, begging her to come and marry you, that's a terrible place to be in a marriage. To be like, I'm begging you to do me this favor and marry me. Yeah, you got to let her go. You got to let her go.

You want to find someone who loves you for your baldness. Exactly. I want to tell this guy, like, Dan, you're a bit about shaving your back. Sure. Shaving your back. That's real love. That's real love. When someone's shaving the back for you, that's real love.

That is real love. They've taken you for who you are. Exactly. You know that there's none of this. So keep your shit clean. If it wasn't this, something else is going to be wrong. Okay. During the meeting, right, they were forced to cover the cost of wedding.

Speaking to local media, the bride's uncle said the groom's family should not have hidden the fact that the groom was bald. If they would have told us about the groom's baldness, we could have mentally prepared the bride and she would not have been shocked. You cannot expect a marriage to start on a falsehood. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying too. But I think now that we keep getting more and more into the story,

I'm like, this can't be the first time this has happened to the guy. There must have been something that caused this man to be like, I got to do the bald cap this time or the wig. And he was obviously so nervous he fainted walking up to the altar. Yeah, he's a bad sign. He knew it was going to fail. My question is, has he fainted before? And did he anticipate the faint?

And if he didn't anticipate the faint, I mean, this is a guy who's like, I got to do everything I can to try and land this one. Well, as it turns out, the bride isn't the first woman from Uttar Pradesh. I'm really doing the best I can. Dan, you're doing great. I mean, I've never been, but it sounds good. To call off a wedding for a rather bizarre reason. Last May, a bride left her groom at the altar upon discovering

that he couldn't recite his multiples of two. I mean, that's bad so i buy that more than the ball but you only know what you've been taught he can't help nobody sat him down it's like two four six eight and then what okay nine no then he goes back i feel like it goes 12 7 13 i'm not you can't have odd numbers in there the groom's family kept us as a quote the groom's family kept us in the dark about his education. He may not have even gone to school, a cousin of the bride told local media.

One plus one equals what? In June, a bride-to-be refused to marry her groom upon learning he needed glasses to read. Oh, that's messed up. Okay, Allie, now where are we at? Now that's messed up. I understand the multiplication. I'm with the multiplication girl.

I get that. But here's somebody going, this is sort of when you do sperm donor, right? When people go, give me the breakdown of the person. It's like, do they have any underlying genetic diseases or any of that stuff? Mental illness. This person goes, I don't want to marry anybody that's going to have kids with glasses. I mean, but we all have glasses because we're all looking at our phones. I mean, who doesn't have glasses?

Like, I need glasses. I agree with you. And for a year of my entire life, I didn't need glasses. Like, you may have to have glasses. All right, last one. Last one. Yeah. And in July, a woman called off her wedding moments before the ceremony started by calling the police and telling them that she simply didn't like the groom.

What's the police doing in India? Like a Rodney King beatdown on this poor guy. No, they just come in and go, hey man, is that the only deal with arranged marriages? Someone else handles it for you? Officers are like, yeah.

Arrested. She's not feeling it, dude. This is a misuse of police funding in India. You think so? I don't know. You say defund the Indian police? Yeah. Defund the panchayat.

Wait, Dan. They're doing too many weddings. Which I'm probably saying wrong still. That's crazy. What are you, the marriage police? Yeah. Yeah, that's how it works here. But the bride who said, I don't want to marry this guy,

she essentially sent the dish back. You know what I mean? Yeah. She was like, send it back and bring me another one. Yeah. They all did. Multiple as a two, reading glasses. Also, how do they keep records of this?

I wish there was an American version of that, of being like, we had records of everyone who just left at the altar, wasn't into it. I wonder if it's like college football, where you get one transfer and then you have to sit out a year. Well, it's probably all documented because of their cast system. The arrangement probably actually has some sort of filing.

So I'm going to arrange with this woman. She's already turned down two people. It's like, oh, well, red flags. Those are red flags in your background. It's like draft day. You're like, man, I fell. I was told by my parents I was going to be drafted in the first round. I was going to get married at 27, and I just got called.

What's her Wunderlich score? How does she read through what's going on? Could you read the defense? That's story number one, my friends. First of all. I feel bad for this dude, but then also just say you're bald or let it go. Yeah. Just be yourself.

I don't even say let it go. Embrace what you are. She's a shallow tool. She got lied to, though. But she's also a little shallow. But it's preference. Preference, fine. It's preference.

Being a bald guy, I'm instantly, by some women and men, I could be instantly ruled out or instantly ruled in. So maybe that's your thing. So wait, so you were talking about this this and I want to go back to this. When you shaved your head, did certain people... Oh, it was a different type of guy. Really? Yeah, so tell me. A different guy is into you. Because I dated a shaved head woman and I loved her. It was a lot of wooks.

I was on a rave cruise. I had hair at this time. Wait, wait. You've said three things that we can't gloss over. Rave, cruise, wooks. What are wooks? Like super hairy dudes? It's an especially codependent mooch or someone so intoxicated they require the assistance

of others to ensure their own survival. That's not how I would describe a wook. How would you describe a wook? A wook is like someone who goes to festivals and wears those baggy, flowy pants and just is down for a good time. And then he didn't realize that you were really a wrong person, so he made a Wookie mistake. Here's one. Here's one from Google. What is a Wook at a rave?

A Wook is a hippie, most often a music and festival fan that at its basic form owns nothing and borrows everything. Yeah. So they loved you because they thought, why? I don't know. I think because when you're a woman who shaves your hair, it kind of sends the message of like... Anything's possible? Anything's possible. I thought you were going to say...

I don't need hair to define me. A lot of men who have things in their mouths were into you. Oh, like toothpicks and stuff? Or just any sort of random. Like a tongue. Or anything. Chewing on something constantly, like a straw. Meat.

Dan, I will go in a different direction. I'll go with the story that your buddy told who was working with a musician. And he's like, the musician, famous musician was like, let me play the new song. And he wants to go play him the song on the soundboard with all the bells and whistles on it. And he's like, no, just go sit down with the guitar and play me the song. Give me the bones of the song. Just give me the, strip it down. Bare bones.

Just give me the song. He's like, no, no, I want to play you a thing. He's like, just play me the song. So a shaved head woman, it's like, that's the full face. You get the full, you're like. You can't mess around. You get attracted to that person. Then you're like full you like you can't if you're attracted to that person then you're like i like you for you there's no shadow cover it up with some crazy

hair like you are who you are and i see you for exactly who you are yeah however let me say this so we were in when we just went on this like crazy hike here we go no it's not burning man my wife's going to burning man this year did I tell you I went to Burning Man anyway so I'm in this sunglass because I thought

my sunglasses I lost them so I had to like buy a pair of sunglasses and I had a pair Jay was with me and I had a pair that I was going to get

and I saw like two very normal looking women who worked there and one of them said get the black and the other one said get the white and then there was a woman

with a shaved head. And I was like, what do you think? What do you think? Right now, tell me what you think. I'm like, you're it. Well, because you know she's willing to make a choice. Right. And so she was like, you got to get the white.

It's more fashionable. And I was like, I'm getting the white. I literally just trusted her because that's who it was. Because she made a bold choice and it worked. Why can't this woman be excited about the bald-headed guy? Because she was lied to. She was. But if the bald guy meets a woman and she's like, you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to shave my head in solidarity so that the two of us, and then he's like, yeah, I don't like that. Yeah, he's like, keep your hair. I didn't sign up for this. He uses her hair to make a wig for himself. He's like, thank you so much. That is the deepest form of connection.

She's donating her hair to him. And then she has a toupee. And then she runs her fingers through his hair. All of you two. When she runs her fingers through his hair, which is

actually her hair, is that like masturbation? She's a narcissist. All right, let's take a break. When we come back, we're going to find out what Ally McCoskey is doing, when she's going to put out that album with the bald bit on it, all that stuff, plus stuff that we have going on on the other side of this break. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere.

Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. Hi everybody. We got some things to promote, and Allie's going to tell you how to follow and support her. Well, we're about a month away from a little dumb run.

Right. Oh yeah, we got a dumb run. So let's start with that. Let's start with the dumb run. Live. We should get shirts. The Sklar Van Kirk. Dumb run. 2022 dumb run.

And it's almost like a, almost like a 14.5k somebody running with a knife somebody running with a sword let's make them yeah we're gonna do that we're gonna make those

dumb run so we're gonna be in Nashville Tennessee on the 13th of October and that show is packed it's at the Hutton and it's gonna be

the analog room in the Hutton Hotel we've got Stephen Poltz, great singer-songwriter, he's been playing in Dusty Slay. We love Dusty Slay. He is so great. I love his energy. And he's perfect for Dumb People Town.

My banner mate. Yes. We shared a banner at Moon Tower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. So we got that on the 13th. The 14th, we're going to be in Chicago at the Den Theater. I'm so excited to go to the Den Theater.

We're doing two shows, right? Two shows. We're going to do a stand-up show and we're going to do the podcast first at 7.30, and I just talked to him. I hope he can do it. I think you'll go up first, and then Jason and I will go up second. Wait, hang on a second. That's not the way it works now. Fan scores.

But I'm going to announce it into existence, but Bobcat Goldthwait said he wants to do it, and he lives in Illinois. Let's make it happen. So we'll bring him on to be the guest there. And then the next night we'll be in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the River Spirit Casino doing a show there. Very excited about that. And then Sunday night. Well, I'll be in New York City the next night doing a private show. If you want to go to it, hit me up. Great. Love that.

And then the next night, Dan will just be getting ready because the next night we'll be at the Bell House in Brooklyn. We've got, right now we've got Andrew Dismukes is on the show. Roy Wood Jr. is on the show. And music by the lead singer of The Cutworms. I love him. Max is so great.

When is that show? That's on October 16th. That is a Sunday night, and that is going to be amazing. Get your tickets. We'll put all the links up on everywhere, and we'll let you know how to get them. It'll be on Supersclars. It'll be on DanielBarr.com.

We'll sell those things out. Last two things we've got is we'll be in Ann Arbor the 23rd and 24th of September. Of September. September. And then if you haven't checked out our YouTube our show on YouTube the first episode the nosebleeds it's a reboot of cheap seats Dan worked

on it and a lot of Dan's jokes one of my favorite jokes Dan has I can always pick out a Dan Van Kirk joke and finally we meet your dad's friend from work you'll have to watch this episode to find out where that joke gets dropped ufc's youtube page look up uh nosebleed skla brothers ufc and you can watch it keep checking out keep writing good comments and all that stuff

and that's it for us is the link pinned uh your pinned tweet right now it's no the link is in our bio of our instagram so that's our brothers go right into the bio and you can see it and we and then uh man i don't know if you want to make a last minute trip or you're already there but i'll be in honolulu yeah you will the uh eighth ninth and tenth of this week of september i will be there and then uh i don't know i'm probably forgetting other stuff just go to danielvankirk.com and are you touring around or can people see you i'm doing some touring yeah yeah getting that album ready no i don't know get it ready you should do an album yes oh my god are you it ready. You should. Should I do an album? Yes.

I'm like, are you kidding me? You should do a special. First of all, you definitely should do an album so that you can get your stuff played on Sirius Radio. Do you think I can use something that I already filmed? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. You own it.

If you've never put it down on an album, absolutely. Yeah. A hundred percent. Because they own the video rights. You own the audio rights. Album coming soon. Yay. You should because you have such good material.

I think your stuff would be played on and then your Patreon podcast resting bitch patreon.com slash Ali Makovsky and then if you wanna see where I will be performing

you can go to alimakovsky.com slash shows yes and then I'm on Instagram at notalimac notalimac great

good follow lots of good stand up on there thanks so check her out. Follow her. And Daniel, let's get into it. Yeah, here we go.

Do you guys think you'll gamble when you're doing the show at the casinos? No. Do you guys gamble? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Do you gamble or no? I love gambling. Me too.

Do you really? He does too. Last casino, I did the MGM in Springfield, and I gambled every night. So what's your game? Blackjack, craps. I love blackjack. Real life, I just want a free drink. I mean, we have gambled.

I'll play slot, too. I just hate losing. I played Baccarat. Jay played Baccarat in one of my two other movies. Yeah, but that's wild. It is crazy. Yeah. I'm like, I don't get it.

This is sent in for, I do this every time. Kyle, S-P-E-I-C-H-E-R. Spiker? Spiker. Spiker. Spiker. Spiker. Spiker.

It's got to be your bull. At TV Kyle. That's way easier. Way easier. Thanks, Kyle. Thanks for simplifying. Pregnant woman in Florida throws violent tantrum at McDonald's. I get it.

I support her. I don't even need to hear more. I support her. I'm bored. She doesn't even want to hear anymore, Dan. I wish I didn't have the story. I wish I just took this time to talk about with you guys what I'm dealing with with McDonald's right now. Yeah, what's going on?

McDonald's used to be the Catholic Church and not in the bad way. Not even necessarily in the good way. In the play pit. When you walked in, you know what? It used to be the Cheesecake Factory. You knew what you were going to get. They're going to sit you down. You're going to wait

a while. There's going to be salads bread. No salads or any of that bullshit. McDonald's now, there is no rhyme or reason to any McDonald's. Some of them have breakfast all day. Some of them don't do breakfast at all. Some of them say they're open until midnight. They close at 8 p.m. Other ones say they close at midnight. They're open all

night long. I've shown up at McDonald's on the road after a show. First of all, also, none of them have grilled chicken sandwiches anymore. That's gone. That doesn't even exist in McDonald's. That's what I go to McDonald's for, is their grilled chicken. But if you're on the road and you're like, you know what, I got something for

grilled chicken. No, you're right. You're right, Dan. No, you want to try... I went to McDonald's once. One McDonald's, the first one I went to, they go, hey, just so you know, all we're serving is hash browns and cheeseburgers. By the way, I'm down with that. Sure, but I wanted a breakfast sandwich. So then I drove to another McDonald's, and they go, hey, all we have right now is breakfast sandwiches.

Supply chain issues? The two of you need to get one store. It's a wild card for McDonald's right now. And this is only something you experience here. Like I'm on the road so much. You never want to hear someone at for McDonald's right now. And this is only something you experience here. Like, I'm on the road so much. You never want to hear someone at a McDonald's say, hey, just so you know. There's nothing good that you're hunting down. There was a snake in the fries earlier today.

Hey, just so you know, our food is actually really good now, and it's made from all natural. No one's going to say that. It's not what I'm here for. It's not what I'm here for. Just so you know, I cut my hand, I bled into all the burgers, but fine. We're out of regs. We're out of regs. Okay, Orlando, Florida, where the best of everything happens.

I love Orlando. Do you really? Oh, I love it. Do you perform there? It's my favorite place, yeah. Yeah, where do you perform there? I think last time I was there, I did the improv. Sure, yeah.

Yeah. I love it. It's a good room. A woman who was upset with how long her order was taking in a McDonald's drive-thru in Lakeland stormed into the restaurant. Oh, my God. Left her car. Left her car, which probably made everyone happy.

That's everyone behind you. You just screwed everyone behind you, right, Dan? Dan, you know she didn't drive and park. Oh, I don't know. You know she just walked right out of her car. Oh, yeah. Deputy said Tianis Jones of Lakeland barged into the restaurant, US 92 East, if you want to go there,

shortly after 5.30 p.m. It was peak dinner time. Yeah, this is heart of the matter. Yeah. Began complaining to an employee at the counter. One minute later, she threw a plastic sign and several bottles towards the worker before walking behind the counter and throwing cups

on the floor at employees. I don't support that. So walking behind the counter and throwing cups on the floor at employees. I don't support that. So walking behind the counter to me. Look, I don't think you should throw anything. But if you're really mad at the counter and there's something to push, I don't endorse that. But I see how you got there. I see how somebody's anger took them. Once you cross the counter, I think once you cross the counter, it should be like getting in a Tiger's tent.

Dan, that's crossing the Rubicon. You cannot cross the counter. I think once you cross the counter, it should be like getting in a tiger's tan. Dan, that's crossing the Rubicon. You cannot cross the counter. I would say crossing the counter could be the name of someone's biography. It's this woman's biography. Crossing the counter. I don't support any sort of... I support strong words and hateful... No violence or no thing

thrown. But yeah, as someone who's worked behind the counter at a place... Where were you working? Love Baked Wings on Melrose. On Melrose? Yeah. I love Love Baked Wings. I'm looking at Lissa over here. I was the wing queen.

Is that one of your favorites? My production office is over there. Wow. And I'll make that place up. Honestly, though, it's lost a little bit of its magic since I left. Since you left. I know. It's not the same.

Have you guys had it? No. So it's not fried. I'll take you guys. I have to take you guys. So it's not fried wings. It's baked wings. I love it. We bake them. What you guys had it? No. I'll take you guys. I have to take you guys. So it's not fried wings. It's baked wings. I love it.

We bake them. What do you go with? What's your order? I know this is so- She still said we. She has ownership in it. Oh, I love that. We bake them.

I want to say this to camera. I know this is so LA, but this place is wonderful. I really, really like it. I'm afraid you're going to ruin the dream for me. No. Don't let her. She's not going to ruin it. What's your order? I only going to ruin the dream for me. No, don't let her. She's not going to ruin it. What's your order?

I only think it doesn't taste as good now that I don't work there. My order. You want Parmesan rosemary? You know, it's okay. I'm so hungry right now. I like the Parmesan rosemary. It's not my favorite. I get an order of 10.

No, bone in. Bone in. Bone in. Bone in. Do the work, Dan. Do the work. Guys, their boneless is very good. Their boneless is so good.

See? They have these sandwiches that use the boneless.. Do the work. Guys, their boneless is very good, though. Their boneless is so good. See? They have these sandwiches that use the boneless. Never done the sandwich. Oh, you got to get the buffalo chicken sandwich. Oh, wait, what? Why aren't we doing it right now? We should be doing our podcast from inside that place. You have to go with me.

Yeah, I will. You can't go without me. Do you know people there? Oh, yeah. You're going to walk in and we're going to be like. They're so nice there. I know the manager. I know the owner.

They're great. You'll walk in and everyone will be like Kelly! They're rooting for you in your comedy career. Not the other employees. Not the other employees. They don't like me.

Why? But the management and the owners they love me. How long did you work there? I worked there for about a year. That's a good amount of time. And did you have any

crossing the corner? Well so yeah so it's right in the heart of Melrose where all these expensive stores are, the resale stores. A lot of influencers walking around. A lot of influencers, people buying expensive shoes that they've waited all night for. Yep. But it's also a dangerous area because there's a lot of high value items.

So people will rob you on the streets. So there were many times where people would be getting in fights inside of the restaurant. People would pretend or actually have a gun in their jacket. Oh my God. Yeah, and I'm just like this little girl being like, can you guys do this exchange outside?

Can you shoot him outside, please? Yeah, I can't clean up a dungeon body right now. It's like a L.A. story. Hi, my name's Bob. I'll be your robber for you. Thank you. Hello, Bob. How are you?

Sit down. So yeah, so I don't condone'll be your robber for you. Thank you. Hello, Bob. How are you? Sit down. So, yeah. So, I don't condone any kind of altercations within a business. I understand being upset. I love when people are mean to me in a restaurant because then I get to be a little bit sassy back. Sure. It opens the door for you. And you have to really choose your words wisely because you're still-

Because you're a smart comedian and these people are not. I will roast you. But, yeah. I don't like videos. Did anyone yell at you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And you're like, and did you just say, you just stood there and took it and then did you talk back at all or no? I talk back, but I do that thing because my voice is so like dry and kind of sarcastic. So I just really lean into that where they're like giving me attitude and I was like, okay. Yeah. I totally understand. Totally understand. It just say everything like we're working on it yeah we're working on it right now my thing when i was bartending is i would always be like i would let them say their whole deal and i just one question do you think that i who does not own this place and makes no money off whatever you do, is personally trying to inconvenience your day?

Or do you think I'm as stuck in this situation as you are? So, Dan, you – Like, I don't – Dan, in that instance, you stepped over the counter. You stepped over the counter. Horribly. Like, I'm on your side. Dan, wait, wait.

A really also good move there is to be like, hey, hey, hey, hey. I understand that you're super upset. Please, I don't want you to waste your energy on me because I'm not the person you should be yelling at. I can affect no change. I can do nothing for you. And so I just want you to save your energy because your energy is great. I love it. I'm with you.

Let me find someone who can. Or Ali's saying it like, I love your energy. Yeah, you have great energy. It's really great energy. Well, I'm also like, I your energy. Yeah, you have great energy. It's really great energy. Well, I'm also like, I'm not, yeah, I have no stakes in like the stock of the chicken wings we have. So like if I have, I'll give you a free thing. Unless you're being an asshole, then I'll be like, you're being. We need to go in there with her.

We said that recently. They have carrot sticks, like French fried carrot sticks. Oh my God. Why aren't we there right now? It's really good. I want to go there right now, Dan. Okay. This woman just loses her brain and throws a sign.

Yeah, she goes behind the counter and starts throwing cups at employees. They said that Jones' relatives came into the store and tried to hold her back and calm her down. Did I say she's pregnant? Yeah. You said she's pregnant. Wait, Dan, does she know she's pregnant? Yes. She's throwing things for two.

She was asked to leave multiple times times but she remained in the store she then called 9-1-1 oh my god herself to say i'm five months pregnant it's pregnant these people don't know how to run a fucking mcdonald's which is probably not wrong about that 9-1-1 is like that you're probably right but we can't do anything they're like do you think this is india we can't get involved in these types of problems. We're not those cops. We're not the caste system. They're a full service police station. We are just not dealing. Also, the fact that she calls.

Oh, God. Do you think somebody was like, throw those cups again. We're going to call 911. She's like, I'll call 911. You're going to call 911? I'll call 911. And the cops should be, oh, go ahead. There is this new thing where when anyone has any sort of complaint, they're acting

like the police are like HR for just life. Yes. Yes. Where they're like my boss is annoying and it's like that's not what we're here for. We're here for emergency. Right. So oh wait your boss is annoying. Hang on let me tell this choking kid to wait a minute. Yeah.

It's so insane. Can you hold your breath? We'll send an ambulance. Investigators said Jones relative and another woman convinced her to leave the restaurant after how long? Okay. How long do you think her time was? Wait, wait. Can you repeat that?

That was a lot of words. Investigators said Jones' relative and another woman, I guess no relation, convinced her to leave the restaurant after about how long? This other woman is a saint. I'm going to say 20 minutes. Okay. Jason, Iran? I'm going to say 45 minutes she's like

there for an hour she like and again she's pregnant I've been around pregnant women they convinced she lost steam and then she gained it again I'm picturing this happening like the the time span that I'm referring to is her like being like throwing the cops from that point until she leaves. She was escorted out by a customer. They got her to leave the restaurant after about 10 minutes. Wow. Okay. As Jones...

She knows. You know your counter altercations. I do have to share a story about an altercation I got into yesterday. Okay, well, you know, we're going to save that for our Patreon. Let's do it. Let's save it for our Patreon. As Jones got to the exit, she turned towards the employees, lifted her shirt

to expose her pregnant belly, then turned again and began twerking at them. Yes! I love an aggressive twerk. An aggressive twerk. I love a twerk that's not for fun. No, it's more of a, like, this is how not in control of me you are. I twerk that's not for fun no it's more of a like this is how not in control of me you are

i twerk me yeah you think you tried to me over yeah i twerk me dan i like that who do you twerk you are i am i love that she weaponized the twerk you weaponize the twerk yeah a twerk that's not for fun it's just so fun when people get so overworked, like your brains turn off and you just revert to this weird version. What's the most powerful gesture I can give you right now? It is me dropping my ass. All the McDonald's employees are laughing at her so loud while she's doing this. Probably one of them was like, I mean, in the end, you had to give it to her. This does break the tension.

She did roll out with a lot of authority. She dropped it like it was hot and again, dropped it for two. I do like when I'm at home, I'll sometimes slowly twerk in my mirror looking at myself and I'll do a sad face. I like to imagine I just got broken up with at a club and I'm like... That's a great bit. The depressed twerker. I mean, I'll do it, but I'm really not feeling it. Can you do that on stage? The misplaced twerk. The depressed twerker. I mean, I'll do it, but I'm really not feeling it. Can you do that on stage?

You should do that. The misplaced twerk. The sad twerk. Something about it feels like it's been done. No, it's not. I've never seen it. I don't think so.

Never seen it. Do you ever have that idea, though, where you're like, oh, I just thought of something and you're like, eh, it's fine. So if you really do it at home and if you've really done it at home,

that's truthful. It's truthful to your life. You'll get this on social media too or at least the link to where it goes. This is the video of her walking out. She's mad. She's mad at everybody. It's a pretty great...

She hangs in the twerk for a while. That was like a punctuation to everything she did before. It's like four exclamation points. Oh, my God. By the way, she looks great, by the way. She twerked, man. Good form.

I say give her whatever she wants. Sheriff Grady Judd described the woman's behavior as outrageous. What's the sheriff's name? Grady Judd. Grady Judd. Grady Judd. I've womanized a lot of women in my life. Grady Judd. Sheriff and King of the Hill character Grady Judge. Grady Judge. I've womanized a lot of women in my life. Grady Judge.

Sheriff and King of the Hill character Grady Judge described the woman's behavior as outrageous. Quote, I don't know why this woman got as angry as she was, but as the saying goes, she's a few fries short of a happy meal. I didn't know that saying. She better not complain about the food we serve her in county jail. Judge said Jones caused about how much dollars in worth of damage. Yeah, what do you think she did? I love all this guessing.

I know, it's so fun. This is the beauty of this show. How many dollars in damage? Okay, so she threw a bunch of cups. Broke a sign. Knocked over a sign. Knocked over a sign. What kind of sign, though?

It was like on the counter. Oh, okay, that's not much. Is that it? Yeah. I'd say... But they're making it a big deal. They're going to try and jack it up. What are you feeling?

I mean, I want to say that can't be any more than $20, but they're going to say like $200. $200, okay. Yeah, I'm going to say like $120. Okay. I'm going to say $300 worth of damage. Okay. Grady Judd said Jones caused about $100 worth of damage.

This podcast sucks. The detective said they have obtained an arrest warrant with burglary with assault, criminal mischief, and disorderly conduct. Anyone with information about Jones' whereabouts better keep it to themselves. Burglary with assault, criminal mischief, dropping it like it's too hot. She really... They can call the sheriff's office at 863-298-6200. I have a feeling I know where she's going to be.

Yeah. At the club. Yes. For sure. I mean, she's going to twerk until she's about to pop that baby out. That's story number two, friends. Oh, my God. It's so great.

Listen, give me a little tease of what we're going to have Dan on in story three because it's short and quick. Cringe at a funeral. Cringe at a funeral. Cringe at a funeral. And for our Patreon fans, Allie brought it up. She got into an altercation yesterday. And I'm assuming some dumbness flew around.

Oh yeah, we're going to get into that for our Patreon. You have to join our Patreon to hear that. We love doing the extra content for you and for everybody else. We got this story of cringey at a funeral. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around.

Make a sound for more Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make a sound for more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. We're going to take a few minutes or a couple of seconds right now to thank. Or a lot of seconds. A lot of seconds. We might take a couple minutes to thank some of our Patreon fans by name. We love that you guys support us. You mean every single one of you

mean so much to us and that we want to thank you in person and in front of everybody. It's almost like a commitment ceremony. Let's get into it, Dan, shall we? Alright, first up we have William M. Thanks, William M. William M. Bill M. Bill M or the M could be a W upside down. William M. William

upside down W. Sean S. Thanks, Sean. Don't you feel W. Sean S. Sean S. Don't you feel like Sean? S-E-A-N or S-H-A-W-N? S-H-A-W-N. There you go. There's a lot of different ways to spell Sean, right? S-E-A-N is the weird one.

Thank God you're not. That's the weird one? Yeah, seen. But I think that's the Gaelic way. Is it? Yes. So this is the American Sean. Sean.

Sean, baby. Sean of the day. Sounds like it looks. And then Lindy M. I don't know if they have any relation to Bill M. Is it the triple Lindy American Sean. Sean. Sean of the day. Sounds like it looks. And then Lindy M. I don't know if they have any relation to Bill M. Is it the triple Lindy? Ooh. Nice.

Of course I do. Yeah. That's a true local, Lindy M. Thank you, Lindy M. Ready for this one? Yeah. Coulter Longshore. Coulter Longshore.

That is a quarterback in the SEC. He's 6'4", 240 pounds, but runs like a deer. And he works in a lighthouse. Oh, I forgot to say Lindy, by the way. True local, Lindy. Thank you, Lindy. Coulter Longshore. Coulter Longshore.

County. Thanks, buddy. Tyler D. Tyler D. The place to be. Colin McConville. Colin McConville. Another true local.

Colin McConville. Colin McConville. The Conor McGregor of true locals. I was going to say, it sounds like a name meant to be pronounced by Harry Carey. Yeah. Colin McConville. Colin McConville. The Conor McGregor of true locals. I was going to say, it sounds like a name meant to be pronounced by Harry Carey. Yeah. Colin McConville. Colin McConville. McConville spilled backwards.

This is Elnock McConville. Pretty good. Oh, did you guys see the Harry Carey hologram at the Cubs Reds? No. What? You haven't talked about this? No. This is a cheap seat story.? You haven't talked about this? No. This is a cheap seat story.

You guys have to talk about this. Oh, God, we will. This is why. You were in the cheap seats. Hi, everybody. They did the Field of Dreams game between the Reds and the Cubs. They had Harry Caray sing. I'm a bug man and I'm a Cub fan.

And it didn't even look like him. Oh, what did it look like? It just looked like... An old guy with big glasses? Big glasses? Yeah, like an elderly John Candy. It wasn't that far, but it was not. You have to see it.

Hi, everybody. Tell me also that Dennis Rodman's going to call in. If Dennis Rodman gets Brittany Griner, he's going to talk to you guys first. Oh, yeah, he's talking to us on the podcast. Back out of this show. Dane C. You forgot Andrea McGee. I did? Oh, Andrea McGee's awesome. She's been around for a long time. C. You forgot Andrea McGee. I did?

Oh, Andrea McGee's awesome. She's been around for a long time. Dan, man. Andrea, Andrea, Andrea McGee. Thanks, Dane C. Dane C. Could be Dane Cook. Could be.

Salia A. Salia A. True local. Thank you. Come on, Salia. Salia. Salia. Salia.

What was that? Enya. Yeah, but wasn't that Pure Moods? I don't know. You don't run an infomercial for... What was that? Enya. Yeah, but wasn Hill. Don't. The next one is just made. It can only be said in one dialect. Mark C. Hawkinson. Hawkinson.

He's like a tight end who played football for Iowa. Mark Hawkinson. How are you? The Hawkinson kid is still playing tight end at Iowa. He's been there for eight years. That kid's been roughhousing for the last three years. He took a COVID year off. Dustin Eichwald.

True local. Did we say Sally is a true local three years. He took a COVID year off. Dustin Eichwald. True local. Did we say Sally is a true local? No, but Sally. Amy Sterling. Amy Sterling. Sounds like a character on a law and order episode. A perfect example of someone. She's a Sterling example of someone.

Zach Rainsford Chevrolet. Zach Rainsford Chevrolet. Come on down to Rainsford Chevy. Come on down and get the Rainsford prize. What is that? It's Ardhack Buick, but we just inserted Rainsford Chevy, come on down and get the Rainsford price. What is that? It's Ardhack Buick, but we just inserted Rainsford. You knew, yeah. Come on down to Rainsford Chevy, come on down and get the Rainsford price.

Hey, true local Jeff Crowley. Jeff's been around for a long time. Thanks, Jeff. Thanks, buddy. Chris Arneson. Chris Arneson, the Fred Armisen of Chris Armisen. That's pretty good. Mitch T. Thanks, buddy. Chris Arneson. The Fred Armisen of Chris Armisen. That's pretty good. Mitch T.

Mitch T. Thanks, Mitch T. Mitchie, Mitchie, Mitchie, Mitchie. If you are suffering from Mitch T., there's a lot of things you can take. Neil. Neil. That's it. Thanks, Neil.

Neil before Zod. Neil before Neil. True local and somebody we've mentioned many times on this show, Joseph Gaccione. Hey, Joseph Gaccione. Hey, Joseph Gaccione. I got to get the chicken Gaccione. I got a little gnocchi. It's from Joseph Gaccione. You put a pesto inside a tomato sauce.

It's Gaccione. Miguel M. Miguel M. Is Miguel Spanish for Michael? Yes, but that's M&M. That's the Spanish M&M. Miguel M&M. Chris Carney.

I hope they're related to the Vince Carney Community Theater, which is originated in Rochelle, Illinois. We know John Carney in St. Jack's. Jack Carney was a famous broadcaster. And then there's the Hot Dogs place. Yeah, Carney's Hot Dogs. That's right. Lottie.

Lottie. That's the second Lottie I've ever known. I like to party. I'm going to skip one and come back because I want to end. Mara L is a townie. Love it. Thank you, Mara.. is a townie. Love it. Thank you, Mara. Thank you, thank you.

And then we'll end with a pillar of the community. Let's hear it. Emily Boyk. Boyk. Boyk. Boyk. Emily Boyk sounds like she made it to the state finals. Didn't win, but made it to state.

Emily Boyk goes to state. She sounds like she's someone who – Yes. Or track. Track. Or she also wrestled like 120 and did wrestle. And the headline is, let's hear it for the Boik. Let's hear it for the Boik.

We really should hear it for her. Emily's a pillar of the community. Thank you. There you go. Those are some names. Thank you, guys. If you support our show and become a Patreon, you can hear your name. Well, we will shout you out and give you the love that you've given us.

And let's get back to the show. Boom. All right, Daniel. Take us home, buddy. Okay, ready? Yes. Sent in by Carleen McDermott at SheBeCarleen. I love her.

Headline, remarkable twist at funeral. Comes back to life. You don't want any twists at a funeral. There should be no surprises at a funeral. I like surprises at a funeral. They're all kind of the same. I would enjoy a little bit. You want a little something different?

Like someone's going to come up and be like, this is my dad. And you're like, oh, shit. A man who used a funeral service to propose to the daughter of the deceased has been grilled on social media for poor taste. That's so try hard. You're on board with this?

No, that's so try hard. Try hard. It is try hard. I didn't know that was a thing. Because it's also like the dad was alive at some point. You waited until he died to be like, I'm going to put on this show. You knew he wasn't going to approve. Yeah.

This is exactly my point. He's like, are we vibing right now? What if he just met her at the funeral? Yeah. Should we do this? Well, it's also one of those things where everyone's like, like when someone dies, they're like, they would have wanted me to whatever. Don't say what they wanted.

That's right. My mom, this is so dark and she will listen to this. And this is really, I'm sorry, mom. But my mom is an alcoholic. And when her mom died, my grandma, obviously that was really tough. And so she was drinking to you know deal with it the way that she knows how and so my mom's like drunk as shit like she's like blacked

out at this funeral and she's late and my mom is notoriously a type a like when my mom is sober she's type a she's on it she shows up early like she's very on top of it and so my mom's like like out of the shower her hair is soaking wet it's raining you know like the scene is set and she gets there late we get to my grandma's funeral late and my mom goes it's what she would have wanted and i'm like what no it's not what she would have wanted no that's great and that's something only did she drive you no no we picked her up and drove her there and she's's like, I'm always on time. She would have wanted me to take it easy.

And we're like, I don't think. I don't know if she. I don't think that's the way. He would have wanted me to propose to you. Yeah. Many of the 80,000 who saw footage of him. So I guess this was streamed. Oh, no.

No, they passed it around. They had to pass it around. Many of the 80,000 who saw footage of him popping the question were astonished at him hijacking the ceremony. Oh, he like made everyone else pay attention to him doing it. He got down on one knee. This is like Limpopo province in South Africa. This is put it up on the scoreboard at the ball game. This is the Limpopo River.

Some even suggested he was a pastor conducting the service. What? I mean, that's wild. Here's a picture of it happening. Oh my God. He's down on one knee. He's like, now's the time. Now she's emotional. In my head, he's never met this woman, but you know how grief

makes you a little bit more... It's aphrodisiac. Maybe he was just mesmerized by this woman. He's like, life is a circle. And speaking of circles, I want to give you this ring. Yeah. A video of the bizarre event was shared on Instagram by the group Zim Celebs.

Never heard of it? Love it. No idea. I trust it. Ladies, would you accept a marriage proposal at your father's funeral? This is a first in Africa, the caption said. In the footage, the deceased daughter is seen sobbing with grief in the front row with

the coffin just yards away. The man with the microphone kneels down in front of her and begins talking before slipping a ring on her finger. Some of the congregation can be heard calling out an apparent alarm as he pops the question. Yeah, don't do this here. There's a time and a place. Save this for a basketball game. Save this for an NBA game. Put it on the Jumbotron. Oh, my God. Reports say the man is heard thanking God before being in his girlfriend's life during such a difficult time for her.

He's also making it about him. So this isn't just a random person. It is his girlfriend. His boyfriend. Right. Yeah. He also reportedly claims that his role in her life will comfort her heart while she comes to terms with her father's death.

Right. I'm here to save you. Only I can save you. No, I'm going to take you out of this moment. She's like, I want to live in the grief for a little while. There's a part of me that would be so mortified and then also so thankful that I'm witnessing this life. As a comic, wouldn't you just go up to her and be like,

I have, you don't know what you just gave me for. I'm so not like for you. You'd be like, my future album is going to be so much better because of what happened here today. Then also if like you would always associate your marriage to your dad's death. Yeah. Oh,

he popped the question in the most romantic way, but how great it would be if he pops the question, she's waiting to respond, he gets faint, falls over, and his wig falls off. Well, you know how everyone, when you get engaged, everyone's like, were you surprised? And she was like, yeah, absolutely. Blown away. One of the last places I would ever think. I thought he was going to do it on his birthday because then why would he propose to me on his birthday? But he waited until a time when nobody saw it coming. wanted to he wanted to get her he got her unconfirmed reports say the

man was a pastor carrying out the funeral service who decided to ask for the woman's hand in marriage to help mend her broken heart oh yeah but the proposal stunned many social media users i find it disrespectful one instagram user said in the comments he's too dramatic attention seeker one person commented while someone else uh said the proposal was so wrong. However, a few people had a different take on the situation. Maybe he wanted the father to be a part of it, someone suggested. Oh. Why not do it a week earlier then?

Because. He just didn't have the guts. He didn't have the microphone. He didn't know. That's, to me, I think you'd say no and end the relationship based on that proposal alone. Because he didn't want the proposal. So now he can never say the proposal killed the father. Right, right, right.

It's like, after the fact, you can't say that it did that. Do you think he wasn't going to get the blessing and he waited? I'm sure. We're doing it in the same room, so it's like your mom said. She would have wanted me. He would have wanted me to. Marriage is kind of a death in its own way. Symbolic.

Yes, right? So here we are. That's a show, friends. Oh, my Lord. What a great show, Ally Makovsky. People can find you, not Ally Mack, on Instagram, and they can see you'll post your pics and stuff. Great follow.

We're just so psyched to hang with you. I mean, we just always have a great time when we're with so psyched to like hang with you I mean we just always have a great time when we're with you and to all our fans check her out check out the nosebleeds on the first episode

on UFC's YouTube page leave a nice comment tweet at Dana White say hey dude make more of these that helps us out a great deal and follow Dan McKirk

go see him in Hawaii and oh shit we gotta get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound. It's Dumb People Town.