Dumb People Town - Amber J Lawson and Zoe Friedman - Destination Wedding

Episode Date: June 3, 2022

This week Amber J Lawson and Zoe Friedman come to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. This week's story is about a drug fueled wedding.

Star Pains, out of here. Hey, townies. Welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population comedy gives back. Oh my god. Amber, Jay, Zoe Freeman, I love you guys so much. Thank you for being here. You guys are ambassadors

of comedy, supporters of comedians. I love what you're doing. We'll get into all the great things in your vision. You described it at the golf outing that we did and I was just the Netflix is a joke golf outing, which isn't even your golf outing, but you were there and you guys described it at the golf outing that we did and I was just the Netflix is a joke golf outing which isn't even your golf outing but you were there and you guys described it and I got

chills just thinking about it. We'll talk about all that stuff later. We're here to do talk comedy. You guys have been around the comedy world so much. These guys have done more to lift up comedians than cocaine. And that's saying a lot. Especially for comedians who have been lifted up by cocaine. They've also given a lot lot Especially for comedians Who have been lifted up

By cocaine They've also given A lot of cocaine To comedians We were listening To your cocaine candles Oh god Oh yeah

Cocaine candles Genius Right you just sniff it And then you feel great Yeah I don't know what The smell really is Confidence

That's what it is It's confidence Smells like confidence So we have you guys here We get dumb stories Sent to us by our fans And then then we're just digging into one. Let's do it. That's why we're here.

Send to me at DanielVanKirk, hashtag DumbPeopleTown on Twitter, if you want me to get your stories. This was sent in by Sig Olsen, at Sig Olsen. That's a new person. I've never met Sig before. Sig Olsen sounds like a place that sells speakers. Sig Olsen sounds like a place that sells speakers. Is it Sig Olsen? It's Bang Olifson or Sig Olsen. I got your speakers at Sig Olsen? It's Bang Olufsen or Sig Olsen.

And I got some Danish modern furniture. To me, Sig Olsen feels like an old steakhouse where the waitresses wear uniforms. And they have to like, and the- You've met Sig Olsen? No, and the maitre d' never turns her or his back on you. They always walk up the stairs backwards. For sure. I think it's Sig Hansen and the boats.

Remember the fishing show where they would, or the crab? Oh, like. I think of Sig Hansen and the boats. Remember the fishing show where they would, or the crab? Oh, like an old crab with Sig Hansen. Yeah, yeah. Deadliest catch. Deadliest catch.

So he was like the- How many pots you got? He was the captain of one of those ships. Yeah. Sig Hansen. He passed away, right? No, no.

Sig was the blonde-haired guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that show. I feel like those types of guys, captains of ships and like pitchers, like closing pitchers are just like this odd

you can only be like, you grow up a certain way and you're like, that's what you're going to do you can't be something else just like a Viking a Viking? you can't own a donut shop or anything like that alright, so Sigles and at Sigles this is just the guy who sent the story we haven't even gotten into the story You can't own a donut shop or anything like that. All right. So Sigles and at Sigles, N-S-I-G-O-L-E-N.

This is just the guy who sent the story in, by the way. We haven't even gotten into the story. We don't even know if he's dumb or not. No, he's smart. He owns a steakhouse in Oklahoma. You know, he sent the story in. All right. Ready?

Yes. Florida Bride. Florida Bride. Oh, there you go. Starts with that and ends with that. If you're in Vegas or Nashville or Austin, Austin, any sort of bachelor party mecca, and a woman is wearing a shirt that just says Florida Bride, you're like,

stay away from them. Before you give any of the rest of this, I think we should go around and guess what the next half of this statement is. Florida Bride accidentally bakes meth into wedding cake. That's what I think it could be. Florida Bride accidentally takes a shit in her dress.

Okay, that's a good one. What are you thinking? Maybe that wasn't an accident either. Florida bride takes bath salts and eats entire bridal party. Okay. Florida bride steals a helicopter and gets arrested on her bachelor party. Okay. The headline is Florida bride and caterer arrested at wedding.

Caterer. So now you're in bride and caterer arrested at wedding. Caterer. So now you're in with the caterer. A Florida bride and her caterer were arrested on Monday after guests fell ill after allegedly consuming marijuana-laced food at a wedding held at the Springs Clubhouse. I know this story. Because that's what you want. You want your Uncle Eddie to be high around you. Yeah. Unexpectedly.

You saw it too. Amber J. Get your nephews high. This got sent to me so many times. This is out there, Dan. I am conspicuous, Zoe, about the relationship between the bride and the caterer. Now you know who your caterer is.

At what point when you're doing your tasting is your caterer like, you want to? Are we in together? We're on the same page? Should we fuck with these people? You want to drug people without their consent? Do you want to?

That is the spirit of a wedding. I mean, nothing else. You want people to have fun. Do you want to? I don't think she was in it for the right reasons. Right.

The marriage or the wedding? The marriage. Well, I mean, one and the same, no? The marriage, this is,

I just want to mess with people. She wanted people to be jolly. Bride and groom. Do you guys know, I'm sorry, Dan. You go. I was saying, there is a TV show that I have, a reality

show, where they get paired up by psychologists based on their profile and then they get married. They meet each other at their wedding. Wait, what? And they get married. Married at first sight. Married at first sight.

And then the next whole stretch of time is like- And they all have to bake drugs into their wedding. Nothing works out. It never works out. And it's called love at first bite. Love at first high. Here's the thing, though. Here's the thing.

Weddings are obviously stressful for the bride and groom. But there's also a lot of other people that bring stress and anxiety to a wedding. The amount of couples who got in a fight in the hotel room before they get to the wedding. They bring it all there. To unknowingly start letting people open up that third eye. While they're not in a place to maybe do that, the amount of levels people are in. It's irresponsible. People at your own party complaining about how loud your music is.

That happened at our wedding. Wait, People at your own party complaining about how loud your music is. That happened at our wedding. Wait, people at your wedding? At our party complained about how loud the music was. I'm like, at the fucking band. Listen, it's a nice Jewish family. It was a relative. It was a relative. It's always an idol.

Said it's too loud? Too loud. They're like, this is just way too loud. Too loud. Not to us, to the hotel, so that it would shut it down. Went around our wedding and then tried to shut it down, our own wedding. I'm like, you're in this party.

Do you need to hear Lito that loud? Yes, you do. Yes, you do, Dan. Okay, so the Florida Bride were arrested. They had this wedding at the Springs Clubhouse in Longwood. Sounds nice. In February.

The bride, Dana Glennie. D-A-Y-N-A. Never seen it done that way. Dana. Dana. Dana. Glennie. And her caterer, holistic chef, Jocelyn Bryant.

Oh, God. Jocelyn Bryant is like, I'm just looking for the bride who's willing to do this with me. Of Jocelyn's Southern Kitchen, I'm just looking for the bride who's willing to do this with me. Of Jocelyn's Southern Kitchen. What about that is Southern? Edible, Southern. Because when I think Southern comfort food, I think holistic cooking. I really do. Are these hush puppies organic?

It's just gluten free. Fried green tomatoes. Roller green. Fully organic. I don't know. They're both facing charges of tampering. And then a charge. We've been doing this show in one form or another for 10 years.

And we've never seen this charge. Culpable negligence. I can do it. Culpable negligence. That could be a courtroom show. And delivery of marijuana, according to Fox 35 Orlando. Glennie and Bryant. Do you want to do it?

Yeah. The team of. The new Rizzoli and Riles. Glennie and Bryant. Do you want to do it? Yeah. The team of. The new Rizzoli and Isles. Glennie and Bryant. That's their. We always say that. And it's under the cover. I give two names.

That actually is our brand. Has become calling people the Rizzoli and Isles. The new Rizzoli. That twice could be the new Rizzoli. We could every act. No, no. That is. More of an Isles and Rizzoli.

We're more of Charlie's Angels. Friedman and Jay. Well, you know. What Dan is trying to say is that that is the totality of our personality. It's just to make that joke. Just to make that reference when any two names are brought up. Glutty and Bryant turned themselves in on Monday night. Should we go in?

I don't know. They both bonded out. You know what would be fun? You'd be really fun if we turned ourselves in. Good call, yes. When deputies arrived at the wedding, the first person they came in contact with was a man who reportedly requested an ambulance because he was, quote, feeling weird and felt like he had, and this is how you would describe this if you are high. And had never gotten high in your life. He said, I feel like I have, well, this is what, quote.

Do it as an old Wisconsin guy. I feel like I have... Well, this is a quote. Do it as an old Wisconsin guy. I feel like I have drugs inside me. Not that I took drugs. Not that I'm on drugs. Not that someone gave me drugs. Who put them there? Sir, what's wrong? I have drugs inside me.

Bath? Get them out. Get them out. Like a mule? Or a whale? I feel like I have drugs inside Drugs inside me. Bath? Get him out. Get him out. Like a mule? Yeah. Stuff it up his ass. I feel like I have drugs inside me. I need to call my boy. I miss my boy. Like he starts opening up to all of his levels.

Your son's here at the wedding. You know that, right? He's not here, here. He's never here, here. He's at the table, right? Try and reason with your mom's friend, Barb Melnick. You know what I mean? Who's friend, Barb Melnick. She plays Canasta.

Oh my gosh. He said he feels weird and that he has drugs inside him. It's a wonderful, this to me is a jackass prank all the way around. It feels like he thinks it's a possession. Right. Come inside me. Like a ghost has entered my body. The ghost of drugs. Yeah, the ghost of drugs.

Others in attendance alleged that they didn't feel well and felt high or stoned, and multiple wedding guests were transported to local hospitals. Glennie and Bryant served the tainted food to how many guests? How many guests do you think they were like, let's fuck this party up? Okay, so let's think. It's in Longwood. Longwood Springs, something like that. At a country club. The Springs Clubhouse, Longwood.

Okay. Longwood sounds like New Jersey. So it's what's the population of the wedding? It's Orlando police. Yeah, well, how many people were at this wedding? Basically, you're like, who? Florida must be big wedding country, right? You think so?

Okay. 385. Wow, that's a huge wedding. That's a lot of people. I was going like 100. 100? What do you think, Jay? I think it's even smaller.

I think it's like 80. 80? Okay. I think like 150. 150? All right. We're going to take a quick break. When we come back.

This is such a great show. Talk about comedy gives back. Talk about comedy gives back. I have an extremely pointed question I've waited years to ask you. Zoe, if you're going to. I know. You're going to love it. It's going to be a memory for the two of us that I keep forgetting to ask you. And then we'll find out know. You're going to love it. It's going to be a memory from the two of us

that I keep forgetting to ask you. And then we'll find out how many guests they decided to fuck up with. And then Patreon fans will hear a really dumb story from these guys.

These guys have been around a lot of dumb things. They've seen a lot of dumb stuff. If you're in the world of comedy for years, long as they've been around it, you've seen some dumb shit happen. So all that

on the other side of the break. It's Dumb People Town. Happy Friday, guys. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound.. It's Dumb People Town. Happy Friday, guys. We'll be right back. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. We've got Amber and Zoe. You guys are part of Comedy

Gives Back. Creators of it. Founders. Before we get into that, just want to mention a couple things for Dan and us. Oh, for sure. Yeah, look for my July dates at danielvankirk.com. Do that. I'm out there headlining.

I think we're doing kind of like some dates in the south and around Texas and Louisiana. And then I'll be doing the West Coast, I think, in August. Everything will be posted soon. If it's not already. If it is, I'm going to jump into that break. Come with a DPT headline or a pen pal letter. Yeah, bring a headline or a pen pal letter. I start out the show by welcome everybody in. And then we do a little podcast fun together. And I'd love to hear from you guys. You can be a little bit of a part of

the show, but then we really kick it off. Future X comes out, guest spots come out, and then I come back out and headline. So go to danielvankirk.com. And if you need to eat your emotions like I do, go to 3bestbakery.com and get yourself some Hub City cookies. Damn good cookies. I love them so much. And you can go to superscbakery.com and get yourself some Hub City cookies. Damn big cookies. I love them so much. And you can go to superschoolhours.com, but hey, Nosebleeds is coming out. We are in the midst of making that happen on UFC Fight Pass,

and then who knows where else it'll exist on there. My secret hope is that they run episodes of it on ESPN. This is like cheap seats, but I'm so proud of what we've done. Dan worked on the show, six glorious episodes of hilarity. It's us making fun of old weird footage from the UFC library with great sketches.

Tony Hale, John Hamm, Mary Lynn Ricegub. Andy Richter. Andy Richter, like insane people who did cameras on it. Good stuff. So all that's happening, so check that out. All right, let's talk about Comedy Gives Back because we're such, first of all, we loved that we got a chance to do it

and now thinking back, we did it like with Bob Saget. I mean, he was- So that day, we had the like check-in time for that. And I log in. You guys were doing something. So this was a Zoom. When in the midst of the pandemic. April 4th, 2020.

Yeah, three weeks in, right? And it already felt so long. And then you look back and you're like, we were three weeks in. And we were like, we have to hurry and do this because it's going to end. And we want to make sure we're getting on it. To help people, yeah. That's right.

And we didn't know. We'll be back in the clubs by summer. This is only a bridge. So I log into the sound check or tech check. This is like early Zoom. Yes, before people were broadcasting on Zoom using Zoom. Two o'clock in the afternoon. And it's just me and

saget just both and the producer was supposed to be there but they got pulled into something else so it's just me and him and we had done a show at ucb like a stand-up show or douglas movies or something like that briefly so we kind of know each other and it was just 25 minutes of me and bob saget hanging out like talking, just talking to each other. And everybody's such a heightened emotional place. Cause we didn't know about our world, what would happen. And so we all just wanted like some sort of connection.

So him and I didn't waste any time to just be like, how are you? How are you doing? And it was one of the most, you know, for everything you guys have done, like I had that moment with him for an effort of trying to help other people, but also like I got helped in that moment

and got to have like a great time with bob so we thought like besides the money we raised for comedians who lost all access to income it really nurtured the comedians and the community because we were not together right and you know even hallie mandel who probably isn't hanging at canters with comics late night much any longer whether whether he ever did or not. It was like, this is like hanging backstage or at Cantor's, and I'm so happy. That green room was the best because we were so delayed. It was hard to produce via Zoom, but it was so great.

So it was like Adam Sandler and Jim Gatton. People who weren't on the schedule at all were all kind of meeting up, and it was magical. That was the show behind the show, and it was so fun because we all needed to connect. Well, the fact that we got to do that with him was just. And you could tell since Saget was like.

Oh, he crushed you. He crushed. You could see him just enjoying how fun our show was with him. And we did a full. Some people just tried to mess around. We're like, no, we're going to do an episode of Dumb People Town. We did one story. One story.

It was like this with him. And he was like, immediately got it. He was like in there playing. It was like this with him. And he was like, immediately got it. He was like in there playing. It was really special. Well, I mean, if we didn't explain what it was, it was a digital fundraiser called Comedy Gets Back Laugh Aid. And it was when clubs closed down. And that started our pandemic relief, crisis relief.

So we gave out, starting on April 5th uh grants to comedians who lost all access to income amazing we gave over a thousand grants and that's incredible yeah it felt it felt so purposeful and meaningful in a time that was very hard to find so needed so needed um and comedians were grateful and it wasn't a big grant you know it was 500 however i think the fact that you guys and adam sandler and jimmy fallon showed up for these comedians, working comedians who don't have podcasts, who haven't made it to that level in their career, you know, really felt like that 500 was amplified by people showing up for them. Yeah. Period. You know?

Because there is no safety net, which goes to your larger vision of like what you'd love to create is like a place that can be that safety net for comedians down the road. I mean, what we do is it's a profession as much as Screen Actors Guild and all this other stuff is like creating almost like a comics guild, so to speak. That's right. So there's protections and safety nets and guarantees that you're not going to be alone when you come off stage. Like that's one of our things. Being on stage alone is part of the job. Feeling alone off stage, unacceptable. Yeah, right. Coming Is Back wants to change that and has, you know, through friends.

But it's through people like you guys who say yes to showing up and helping their community, right? We would only be as helpful and able to raise money if we didn't have talent right supporting it it is called comedy gives back yeah the comedians do it the most amazing thing about that night concerning it's a little inside baseball is 4 000 individual people gave donations that night that's huge which says to me that if you guys say it's important if you know bob saget says it's important then people will know it's important. People say, oh, people don't want to help comics.

Really? Who doesn't want to make sure that laughter is preserved? Think of all the joy they've given you in your life, and I think we really appreciate that and understand that now. And we'll always participate in everything, the golf tournaments, the Christmas song. You've been with us Christmas magic.

You've said yes to, you guys have said Christmas magic was. Christmas magic was Avery Pearson, our good buddy who's been on this show, who is just a phenomenal musician. I still love that song. It's hilarious. I love that song so much. We're thinking of maybe doing kind of a new version. Great. Like, same song, but new lyrics, post-pandemic, now that maybe we can sing to it.

Because showing that video now looks like they're the most irresponsible people. Because we are in a recording studio smaller than the studio. i mean you guys were uh you were the headliners we were in the chorus and we were standing but it was you know what it was it's just great i love it because it's not that song as jay said i think is like one of my favorite christmas songs that are really out right now highly recommend people go check it out, Christmas Magic. You can just look it on YouTube. Yeah, find it on YouTube. It is the,

it's the, it's like the We Are the World of, the We Are the World of the comics. But like hilarious versions of singing and everybody was so good. Everybody gets to be an Ackroyd though in that version. It's all comics. Yeah, so we had like one singer,

that person, like a real singer, that person in the Ackroyd. But just all of our favorite people. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I love when all the comedians get together. We just love it.

Anytime we were just with you guys down at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. Yeah, the stuff you guys do there, too. Just the fun we all have together. So how can our audience, like even just off, not in an actual event, how can they contribute and support? What's the website? Where can they go and check it out? ComedyGivesBack.com and you can contribute

on GiveButter. We have tons of links everywhere and text laugh to 707070 to donate. L-A-U-G-H in case you don't know how to spell well. Some people do L-A-F-F I mean it is dumb tough. L-A-U-G-H. And we

have events all the time. So you can contribute by donating the proceeds of any event that you hold. Be ambassadors for Comedy Gives Back. Oh, that's awesome. That's really cool. Yeah, so for your fans of comics, they can dedicate a night, a portion of their ticket sales, a tour. And if you're a fan and you want to keep comics making you laugh, then donate.

Any amount helps. And we have a lot of need. I mean, even though pandemic is over, people are backlogged on all fronts, clubs, theaters, everything's kind of truncated, and people are trying to get their footing. And we're still getting a lot of knocks on our doors, and we can't turn people still getting a lot of knocks on our doors and we don't and we can't turn people away right just can't

I just want you to know that Brene Brown says our patron saint of vulnerability laughter forces us to breathe yeah I agree I 100% agree with that and if you're laughing about laugh laughing brings people together who maybe would never come together on

any thing. So it's just wonderful. I love it. ComedyGivesBack.com. Everyone check that out and support it in any ways that you can. I mean, these are two people that have, you know, been through our entire, Jay and I, our entire 27-year comedy career has been spent, like, knowing you. And, I mean, it's just. Well, and I'm from Missouri.

Yeah, you're from Missouri. And in Chicago. There you go. And when you guys were the Pages, when I was at Letterman, right? I mean it's just well and I'm from Missouri yeah you're from Missouri and then Chicago and when you guys were the pages when I was at Letterman right yes you and Eric Randy was a page

I didn't do it but Randy was a page and then you're Comedy Central Comedy Central and then your dad at the improv like passing us

at the improv when we first came here in like 2000 this is my question for you we worked together in 2016 was that Blue Bottle Blue Ribbon Blue Ribbon Content Warner Brothers at the Improv when we first came here in like 2000. This is my question for you. We worked together in 2016. Was that Blue Bottle? Blue Ribbon.

Blue Ribbon. Content Warner Brothers. Yes. Yeah. That's how I really met you. In your guys' waiting area, you had a mid-century Papa Bear chair. That's right. Do you know what happened to that chair? That's my boss's personal chair that he brought in, Peter Girardi.

Can we steal it? I wanted that. When I was leaving, I was- That's my dream chair. Tell your he brought in, Peter Girardi. Can we steal it? I wanted that. When I was leaving, That's my dream chair. Tell your boss that Dan wants to buy it. We have a listener. It was like a green tweed

with a footrest. I'm not a mid-century person. Are you guys familiar with what a hopper bear chair is? No, I think I do. By the way, when I was talking about you, two, you know,

in our weekly meetings after you and I had met, and I said, there's this guy, he's a comic, his name's- Call him a kid. The time is 2016.

We're much younger then. When I told him about the chair, he's like, oh, this guy, he's a comic. Call him a kid. At the time, it was 2016. We were much younger then. When I told him about the chair, he was like, oh, that guy has good taste. You know, he felt very, like, he felt seen. That's a problem. Because it holds you. It holds you. And it had the beautiful ottoman. It had all of it.

It had all of it. And it was that green, beautiful green. Yes, like that, right here. I remember. So that chair is my dream chair, right? And I love that you waited this many years, six years to ask him this question. We have a listener,

a dumb people's not a listener, his name is Justin. He lives in Wisconsin and he works at a furniture place. They redo furniture, bring it all back to life. Yes. And somebody had,

in the back, like storage, they just had this old ratty Papa Bear chair sitting there, right? And he goes, he asked the asked the boss he goes what's the deal on this chair he goes somebody dropped off they never came back and he goes do we care about it and he's like no and he goes can i have it he's like whatever you want to do with it have it so he hit me up and he goes uh do you want this chair i'll redo it and i'm like 100 then a week later he goes i don't know how to feel worse than i do already. Someone bought it.

Someone came in and said that that was their mom's chair. And so they had to take it back. That's bullshit. Antique road show bullshit. You're going to love this. I go, dude, it wasn't meant to be. I'll find my chair someday. I'll get the next one.

The one that's out there for me that someone will eventually die in and then I'll get it. You dress for the poppet chair you're going to get. The woman who dropped it off had cancer and passed away. What? And her family didn't know what had ever happened to her chair and they were able to find it.

And I go, thank God they found it before they gave it to me. Even if they had, I would have driven it back to Wisconsin and sent it to your mom's chair. Yes, you would have. So you say that now. No, you would have.

This is crazy. Dan would have. All right, let's get into this. One last thing. I looked up the story we did with Saget, just so everybody can hear the headline. Oh, yeah, what was that? Remind me. Melissa, this is the headline.

It was sent in by Andrew Nickel at Nickelicious. I remember. Nickelicious. The headline was this. Maybe someday we'll unearth it. Melissa Jacobson accused of pooping in Wisconsin Kmart. Oh, God. And that's all Bob Saget needed to have a great time.

Oh, that is... All right, clean up aisle three. Okay, guess at the wedding that they got high. We're back into it. I said 150. You said 100. Let me see if I can remember. You said 385.

Jay said 80. They kept it small. About 35 people. Wow. Which is also so much that you aren't going to get away with it. It's so little trip. It's so small. I know.

People are like, hey, we all had the bread. We know exactly what happened here. We all ate the quiche. The outlet also reports that when authorities asked Glennie, that would be Dana, if she had requested the food to be laced with marijuana, she reportedly, quote, stared with a blank expression. She's still high. Before denying the food had THC in it. Nope.

Like, ma'am, did you put weed in this? So what's her husband saying? What's her new husband? He's not even in this story. Yeah, he doesn't even get mentioned. I know, where is he? He's trying to separate himself. He's in jail with her caterer.

What happened? You would run that. That's a lack of communication, right? You know that like they're starting off on a pretty bad foot. So marriage, marriage is all about building up capital. Like, do I have enough now to be mad at you about some little thing? Can I hold this over? Can I now use this to go to the comedy gives back golf tournament and stay late so you

have to pick up the kids from school? No, I want dinner there and drinks November 14th. I'm going to stay through the end and the roasting and all that stuff. I'll be there all night. And the auction and all of it. Because you laced our food under our wedding. So a smart husband

would be like, I'm staying in this. I forgive you, honey. But you owe me. I don't forget. I forgive you. According to Click Orlando, the following things were collected as evidence. Ready? Chocolate-covered strawberries. Of course.

Wine glasses. Cookies. Brownies. Pudding shots. Pudding shots. If your wedding has pudding shots, that's all ready. THC is in all this. And then the last thing it lists, in quotes, this is perfect.

Does your grandma want a pudding shot? Run it back. Chocolate-covered strawberries, wine glasses, cookies, brownies, pudding shots, and quote, a handful of lasagna. What is that even? Which handful? You can get some of that. Or a handful of.

What's that? Lasagna. A handful of lasagna. Don't eat it, Mike. I'm not. I'm just. It's revenue. Sebastian reached in. A handful of lasagna. Don't eat it, Mike. I'm not. I'm just forever. Sebastian reached in. He reached in and said, this guy comes to my house and gets a handful of lasagna.

Is that how they do portions? Like 375 calories for a handful. I'm going to ask Joe. You guys bought 200 handfuls of lasagna. I'm going to ask Joe Mattarese about that. The outlet reports the lasagna and a piece of bread collected at the scene tested positive for THC. Of course. They had weed lasagna.

That's probably a nice way to put it. But it was in everything. Sprinkled it on everything. Right. They were out of their gourds. I mean, that's a lot. It's not just one thing. They hit all target.

If you're not, no, you're about to get high. So, but Dan, imagine you had the way I would eat at a wedding. I'll have some lasagna. I'll have some bread. I'll have a cookie. I'll probably have a brownie, and I may have a chunk of strawberry. That's right, because, you know, calories don't count at weddings. You're wasted and fat.

Wasted. Wasted and fat. Ran, your story about being hungry at your house and not knowing. I was hungry at my house, and there was was no snack food and it was like, we were so past due to, and I start looking for food and I looked in a place where food does not exist. It's up with the menus and my

daughter's like, birth certificate. Should be no food, but menus. Her birth certificate and like their academic achievements and I was like, oh, what's this cookie doing up here that I should have remembered that my cousin gave me that was completely full of pot. It's gigantic the size of my head. I'm like, ooh, this is a good chocolate chip cookie. Ate the whole thing. The whole thing. You probably felt you were,

by the way, you were blinded by the fact you found like a morsel of food, right? I was so happy and so and I wanted that treat and that stuff and I was so high that I was like, as I was getting down. No, no, it's before you had to put your kids to sleep. I was putting my daughter to sleep and she was like super young. I mean, I remember she was on like the tiny bed before we moved to a real bed.

Yeah, this was like 10 years ago. Oh, my God. And after a while, she's maybe three years old. She's like, Dad, can you stop talking? I'm like, I can't. He's high as a kite. He's like, let me try out this bed. Come on.

I blame Glennie. Sure. The outlet reports the piece of bread collected at the scene and the lasagna tested positive for THC, which is the hallucinogenic chemical in cannabis. People, People Magazine, that's where this came from. They weighed in on this? They requested for a comment from Dana and Jocelyn, Jocelyn Bryant, the Seminole County Police Department, as well as the Springs Clubhouse. Nobody wanted to comment on this. It's unclear whether Glennie has obtained representation

to comment on her behalf. I'm going to ask you, we'll get out of here on this. How old do you think Dana Glennie and her caterer, Jocelyn Bryant, are? Are they the same age? They are not the same age. Glennie and Bryant. So how old is Glennie and how old is Bryant?

What do you think? And they had 30 people at the wedding. 35. 35. Hus could be a second wedding. Could be a second wedding. Oh, I know. Yeah.

So how old do you think? Amber, what do you think? I think 45. 45 for Glennie or Brian? For Glennie, for Dana. And how about the caterer? How old is she? She's 35.

Okay. I would say Jocelyn is 30. Okay. She's young enough. I'm an idealist. This could be fun say Jocelyn is 30. She's young enough. She's an idealist. Maybe this is new for my business. This is a new way. New way.

New business. Lenny is bad. She makes some bad choices. I'm going to say she's 50. 30 and 50. 15, 30. They definitely shouldn't be hanging out doing stuff together. Definitely, yeah.

Okay. I'm going to say 45 and 35. Okay. You guys are in the same spot. That's what she said. You're going to take her exact numbers? Oh, you said 45 and 35? Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

Then I gotta change mine. All right. I didn't know that was allowed. No, no, I'm gonna change it. I'll say 40 and 25. So I definitely agree that this is definitely like a why are these two people hanging out sort of a thing. I think that they, she was 40,

I think Glennie's over 40, she's 43. And I think Jocelyn is 31. Okay. 43 and 31. 12 year difference. Okay. One of you got one of their ages exactly right and the other age one year off. Okay.

So who do we think that is? Me. Now we get to play the game. You think it's you? Yeah. Okay. 100%. Not me.

You don't believe in yourself? Go with Amber. Go with Amber. Amber J. Go with Amber. You think it's you? Yeah, 100%. Not me. You don't believe in yourself? Go with Amber. Go with Amber. 50 and 30. 50 was a dumb age. But 30 could be the right age. So vote on yourself. I say me.

I say me. None of you think that this is just some old witch weed loving woman who's like 65 and this young bride. She's like, they're going to love it. They're going to love it. I went the other way. I'm not saying that's the case.

I'm just saying it was funny. We all went the direction of the caterer's young. But the caterer's the one who's got to get the weed. So I'm saying it's young. Why does she have to get the weed? I don't know. I'm going to give you their ages in this order. I'm going to give you Dana Glennie and Jocelyn Bryant's ages in that order.

Remember what you said. Glennie and Bryant are- 50, 30, 45, 35, 43, 31. Bingo. 40, 25. The pot smoking resilient Isles. Sounds like he's just calling. Okay.

You ready? Yeah. Glennie, Dana, then Jocelyn, Bryant, are 42 and 31. Oh! Oh, my God! That was one off. It was really good. It was one off.

I mean, that's who they are. That's what it is. Look at these two. Randy, Randy. Oh, my God. Look at these two. They kind of look the same age. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I put them the wrong way on that. Doesn't she look like, Glennie looks looks like She looks like Helly from What's the movie? The TV show Oh she looks like A character Severance She looks just like

The girl from Severance She also looks like An animatronic character At Disney World She's perfect skin She's wonderful She's very symmetrical With her

Very With the lines and everything She's also stoned She's way too high They are both high as kites. High as kites. I want to know if that wedding, they annulled their wedding. Did it get dissolved?

I mean, the best part is- I hope the DJ never stopped playing. Here's my favorite part about it. Even though that wedding was in town, it was a destination wedding. It went somewhere else. And that's the show, you guys. ComedyGivesBack.com. Check it out.

I love you guys. Patreon fans are going to share a dumb story. They're going to share a dumb story with us, so we'll get that with them. But for everybody else, so shit, we've got to get back to work. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Tunk it down. It's Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Calm your down. It's Dumb People Town. Star Bands Audio. A podcast network.