Dumb People Town - Andrea Rosen - Joop Cousteau

Episode Date: August 31, 2018

For this week's mini, the guys are joined by Stella's Andrea Rosen to discuss the story of a deadbeat dad who lived under a silly alias to avoid paying child support for decades.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Our man Dan Man, jerk, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits So listen to our podcast band with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music hits the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, talk your downies. Dumb People Town.

Hey townies, welcome to a mini episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Rosie Andrea Rosen Hi Welcome to the mini Thank you How are you? I'm good, how are you?

We're so good We're so glad to have you here Daniel Van Kirk is here How are you Dan? I'm good friends Guys, world's getting dumber It got dumber from the last time we did this show till now And by the way, before we get into anything

We do want to thank everyone who's jumped onto The Drip, which is our way of people to participate and get more content in the show and give Jan Flato his money back. Guys, we are going to raise his money back. I think we have so far about 150 people have signed up for this thing and some really nice

donors. We do need to get to like 5,000 in order to get Jan his money back. Before Jan dies. You have 500 so far? We have 150. Well, actually, 163. So, d.rip at d.rip

slash dpt. d.rip slash dpt, and you can just sign up and give what you feel like you can get. And by the way, there's a portion of every single thing that gets given goes to jan flato and we're going to get him his money back uh who is jan flato that is that is unwrapping that answer is like it's so many episodes that's who is it is it real is it a man or a woman it's a guy who's scammed out of fifty thousand dollars by his quote-unquote Russian girlfriend

at a casino because she pushed the button on the thing. Who can't relate to that? I mean, that's a story as old as time. Disney wanted to do that. It was that or Ratatouille. It's called Beauty and the Beach. Yeah.

Jan Flater was the beauty. Of course. But our fans are going to, through this trip, we are going to raise the money to give it back to him. You're trying to get $50,000 for him? We can do it.

And you have $162? Yes, per month. Well, we have various levels. So it's about $150. It allows us to do a lot more things with the people in this town. Okay. Build a community.

But it's just part of that goes back to him. All right. So guys, do that. So world's getting dumber We get stories sent in We do the way to fight back Is humor

Dan gets the stories Andrew doesn't know the stories We don't know the stories Dan give us one Here we go So sent in by Catherine Tuck At

Catherine Lorna So in her handle What is the Tuck rule She bailed on the Tuck Is she Lorna or Tuck Already it's a mystery I think she bailed on Tuck

In her handle Uh huh She tuckeded on Tuck in her handle She tucked it She tucked it and ran She tucked her last name When I think of Tuck I think of the guy from Silence of the Lambs Who tucks his penis underneath Oh

And dances around I think of Tuck Buffalo Bill or whatever his name is Holy You think of who? Tuck Like a tuxedo? No, like those medicated pads

If you have hemorrhoids Right? Isn't that what they're called? I don't have hemorrhoids But somebody I live with does You wipe them? Yeah, it's a wipe Was she a great big fat person? It's like this, I fuck me

Stop It puts the tuck in the handle Alright, so it puts the Lorna in the basket Okay Thank you for sending us in this story Lorna Tuck A man Who was dubbed The most wanted deadbeat dad in the US

Is this your dad Dan? No he couldn't even achieve that He wasn't wanted by anyone Let's not give him any glory Most wanted deadbeat dad in the US That sounds like it was like a moniker given to him by like Joe Arpaio Also like who's keeping track? Sheriff Joe

And how do you, what are the stipulations for qualifying for such things? Also most wanted by who? Like the cops or the kids? By his own family or his own kids It's unclear so far I think the first step for those kids Is not to want that guy anymore Right Just be like you don't need this

It's called cut your losses But no there is something about That notion of Who's the best worst person You don't want to be on that list You're in a deadbeat dad fantasy league I mean we are too I drafted at 10 months

Right So this is a guy He wasn't even a flex option He's your number one option Right He's the worst guy Right He's your go-to guy

A man who is dubbed The most wanted deadbeat dad in the US Has been sentenced to two years in jail That's not that long Is that enough? That's a vacation I didn't know you could go to jail For being a deadbeat dad

He doesn't want to see his kids anyway So for him it's all good Yeah, yeah Guaranteed The first thing he says is Are there visiting rights? And they're like, no He's like, thank you

He's like, perfect I love it Literally like the banner from behind George Bush Just like, mission accomplished Just gets like Dragged behind Raised up behind He was sentenced to jail for two years

Months after he was arrested Near Calgary With the help of a restaurateur Who acted on a hunch A hunch? Those Canadian restaurateurs You know This is like an Applebee's

With an attitude Right I'm just happy That's just called the bees Yeah So the manager or something Was at the store At the restaurant

The store The restaurant A store store. The restaurant. A store where you get food, where you sit down and order food. Yeah. The food store. That's what I'm going to call restaurants. You guys want to go out for dinner tonight? You guys want to go to the food store for dinner?

I would like to go. Please, can we go to a nice food store? Let's go to a nice Indian food store. Can we stop at the car shower on the way? Yeah. We got to get our car shower. We got to eat at the food store Can we stop at the car shower On the way Yeah We gotta get our car shower And we gotta eat at the food store Jonathan Gold

Knew all the best food stores In LA In LA R.I.P. Rest in peace The fact that he lived that long Is beyond me How long did he live?

Longer than he Too long to be eating that food Considering what he ate Yeah Joseph Stroop This is gonna This is about to be a fact That'll tell you everything

You want a Stroop Stroop That's what I was thinking too But I couldn't tell If that was the tune You were doing Stroop You couldn't tell

What I was doing I have a bad ear I have a bad ear It's not you It's me George Bailey You're George Bailey I don't know what that means

But okay It's a wonderful life Oh George Bailey George Bailey Randy went to Take me to the food store, George Bailey Joseph Stroop

Who had been living under the name Now his name was I thought you were going to say Joseph Stroop who was living under a stoop And I'm like, did Theodore Geisel write this Ooh, good pull Wait, was Joseph Stroop the manager at the food store?

No. He's the deadbeat dad. Oh, oh, okay. Joseph Stroop, who'd been living under the name. This is the name he gave himself when he ran up to Canada. Uh-huh. Had been living under the name Joop Cousteau. Stop.

Stop. J-O-O-P. Joop Cousteau. Common spelling on Cousteau. I think it's cool. Joop Cousteau. I-O-O-P Common spelling on Cousteau I think it's cool I think it's cool you guys I've ditched these damn kids I'm living in Canada

What is French to me? J-O-O-P You make me want a jupe It still works So he still wanted a piece of his old name Like He's like I want to get a new name

But I don't want it to go so far from my old name His rapper name is Ju-Ku Yes Which is also the Sklodges rapper It is Ju-Ku You're Ju and you're Ku Ju-Ku

He was detained by the Canada Border Service Agency And transported to the United States on february 15th so at least he got to have valentine's day in canada which is always a great i'm gonna show you guys a picture of him of jup yes jup kusto aka joseph okay when i saw this photo i thought it was a promotional photo and we're all gonna know exactly Who this guy looks like so much Ready? Let's see it Who's that? Looks like The Soup Nazi Or Tony Shalhoub

Is this like a promo for Monk? Guys we were at the diner up in my cabin in Wisconsin This is the same exact pose From that photo Or he looks like the guy who Imitated Saddam Hussein Yes he looks like Saddam Hussein. This is Sacha Baron Cohen's Who's Canada.

Yes. So I'm going to say he looks exactly. I thought it was the Soup Nazi. I know Jupe Cousteau is a made up name. But this guy looks exactly like a Jupe Cousteau. You're saying he nailed it. What he lacked in being a parent He made up for An alias creation

Right Okay If you are If you have spent As nearly as much time On his children As he did on Getting the correct name

Joop Kusto They would be his Forever By the way Photo of Joop Kusto On the Facebook page Of course So join

Authorities were tipped off By the co-proprietor By the way That looks like Half the headshots At my cleaners Oh yes 100% It looks looks like half the headshots At my cleaners It looks like half the people who work at my cleaners It's an impressive mustache

I have to say I have a mustache right now And it does not even come close to the sheer girth The width Also, if I just in a vacuum Showed you this guy's photo and said Does this man love his kids? No

Is this man in a kids? No You would say no No Is this man In a Freddie Mercury cover band? Yes Yes Absolutely You just wait for the hammer to fall Authorities were tipped off

By the co-proprietor All we hear is Radio Joop Joop Radio Cousteau That was good Thank you Authorities were tipped off By the co-proprietor

Of the Bears Den restaurant, which I already want to go to. The Bears Den food store. Wait, is this a Chicago Bears bar? No, but I don't know. I just imagine how great a restaurant in Calgary named the Bears Den would be. What's in it? What's the decor?

It's all wood. A lot of panel. A lot of wood panel. A lot of wood panel. It looks like every basement. Swivel stools. Traps. Bear traps.

Bear traps Bear traps Near the bathrooms Yeah you know that The bathroom doors Have signs that don't Just say men and women Right It's got cubs

Yeah Cubbies Cubbies where you put your shoes And you're like I don't know Can there be a female cub There's a lot of confusion Around the bathroom

Going which one Am I supposed to go in Is there Are we in the Hibernating room tonight And there's like beds In the hibernating room There's like bloody car the hibernating room.

There's like bloody carcasses. Yes. And bears. And literally, just bears. In Calgary, there are actual bears. Authorities were tipped off by the co-provider of the Bears Den restaurant, West of Calgary,

who found his picture on a U.S. government website listing, quote, wanted deadbeats. Okay, hold on a second. Who is just looking on the, like, like when you go to the internet, what's your, like, I look for, I don't know what you look for. Okay, hold on a second. Who is just looking on the like when you go to the internet,

I look for, I don't know what you look for first. You looking for Dead Beat dads right out the gate? I've never looked for that. I look for new Adidas shoes because my shoes are busted. I looked up Ben Affleck's recent girlfriends this morning. What about his rehab

situation? Yeah, I looked that up. Were you like, I can't believe you left Jennifer Garner for that woman? Well, his first girlfriend after Jennifer Garner seemed quality. Who was the woman who was like the production manager?

The SNL production lady? Oh, yeah. Yeah, she seemed normal. Okay. But that's based on nothing. That's based on an image. That's his first girlfriend. And she's 38 years old.

And who's his second girlfriend? 22 or 25 year old playboy model. So pretty. I mean, so beautiful. Like just great. Great looking. But you're like, that's who you should, I guess, be with? I mean, if he wants to. Like be a, I guess, just I guess I mean If he wants to

Like be a I guess just What's wrong Be a bachelor Yeah why'd you ever get married Be a bachelor He wanted kids Did he

He got them He got kids Think of how busy he is So you were searching For Debbie Dads I guess I was I guess I actually was Oh we brought it

All the way around Searching for Debbie Dads And you got Affleck. Yeah. I didn't go to the U.S. government website. No, no. I will next. Like this Canadian food store did.

Well, a clerk with the U.S. District Court in Grand Rapids, Michigan, told CBC News that Joseph Stroop, a.k.a. Joop Cousteau. Joop Cousteau. Was sentenced on August 20th. So that's how we got recent to this. To 24 months in jail and ordered to pay How much In restitution Which is the amount

He owed In child support So I'm gonna ask you guys He You know he's the world's Most wanted Deadbeat dad Right now

He goes by Juke Cousteau Like Tom Selleck Could play him In the movie About his life How much money Do you think

He owed His family and kids My guess is $5,000 Okay $5,000. Okay. $5,000. Obviously, he owes more than that, but I feel like that's going to be the number. Okay.

I'm going to say like $37,000. Jason says $37,000. Oh, I think he hasn't paid for like three years or, excuse me, hasn't paid for like four or five years and he probably owes $2,000 a month. Okay. Right? Doesn't that make sense? $500 a week? You're saying about $72,000.

Yeah. Jupe Cousteau. Get your answers in. I need to change mine. $12,000. $12,000. That's our official. So Jay says $36,000. $37,000.

And I said $72, 37 37 And I said 72 And I said 12,000 Okay Okay Juke Castile Owes his family Earning him the title Most

Of most wanted Deadbeat dad Owes his family $533,000 What? Wow $533,624.91 How many kids does he have?

And kids are expensive I don't know Kids are expensive That's the message I take away Stroop had been ordered to pay child support During a 1989 divorce According to the US Department of Health and Human Services website, he owed more than

five... Oh, wow. This number is actually... That was restitution. They're saying he owed more than $560,000 in child support. Jesus. I was $500,000 off. And I was the most out of all of us. My first guess was

$2,000. And I was the most out of all of us. My first guess was $2,000. Five of us. You were a hundred times off. Yes. You weren't even in the ballpark. You weren't even on the mat.

Maybe because I'm a mom and I'm like, well, if my husband didn't help out, just bailed on me at least $2,000 worth, I'd be like, go to jail. Just get the fuck out of here. Go to jail. go to jail Get the fuck out of here Go to jail Get in jail Get in jail You owe me two grand

Go You're never gonna see The inside of a food store again Investigators say he fled Despite selling an internet business For more than two million dollars Okay Now I hate him

This asshole Yeah Sold an internet business He's been on the run Ever since What was his internet business? I don't know How to not take care of your kids

Dot com? Dot org. Aliases.com. Yeah. Jupeco. Living in Calgary area. Jupecusto. Jupecusto had become somewhat of a regular at the Bears Den.

Here's the thing. If you are running from anything or anybody, you cannot become a regular anywhere. Because that opens the door for people to know about you. You need to be moving around. You give up your right to be a regular once you stop paying child support since 89. Someone's going to get a hunch.

Someone. Someone at the food store. So he'd become a regular at the Bear's Den, which is a now closed restaurant outside Calgary's city limits in the Northwest community. Why is it closed? Because of their desire to fight crime? I just think of their

they have like a C rating. Guys, it's outside the Calgary city limits in the Northwest in the community of Bears Paw. Where are the bears going to eat now? I mean, this is a restaurant for hairy gay men, right? That's what this is.

The Bears Paw would be a gay bar in like Chelsea, New York Sure Jew Coop is Is hairy I mean he's got that stache He was well liked by the staff Jew Coop

Said Scott Weinegrad Are you calling him Jew Coop? The restaurant's Former general manager And co-proprietor I'm gonna show you a picture Of

Scott Weinegrad And you're like Oh yeah This is a Canadian crime solving dude Okay Oh this is the one who had the hunch? He looks like a cute little detective Oh yeah

Oh yeah Jeff Daniels would play him He is so sweet First of all He probably gives He probably like eats pussy really good Exactly Number one

And number two No babe we're done You got what you wanted You don't need to fulfill me. He is so generous. Pocket square like on point. He's not even wearing a suit. He's wearing a jacket, a sweater, and a button-up.

And the glasses are hung over the sweater. And the pocket square is ready to go. I love this guy. Did you say Jeff Daniels? I said Jeff Daniels plays him in the movie. He's like a Canadian Sherlock Holmes. Yeah, he's so sweet. He apologizes for solving crimes.

Scott Winograd said he was well-liked by the staff, but that changed in November following an unusual request by Stroop. Joseph Stroop. Hold on a second. What if Scott Winograd said that he himself was liked by the staff? I was very liked. I was very liked by the staff. I was very liked. Until a weird request by the staff. I was very liked. Until a weird request from Stroop came along.

Here's how it all came down. Ready? Yeah. One day, out of the blue, he ordered a cherry Coke, and he wanted eight maraschino cherries in it. One for each kid he hasn't paid money for. Yeah, deadbeat dad right there.

That's the giveaway. That's a deadbeat drag martini. Yeah. Which is just bizarre. That doesn't happen, said Weinergrad. And then straight to the internet to look up deadbeat dads from all those cherries. Too many cherries equals deadbeat dads. That is a kid order, though.

Kid order to eat a bunch of little cherries with a Coke. Yeah. But staff put the drink together and served it to Stru. Staff? It took more than one person? I love that it's... Hey, don't judge their food store Hey hey hey

Guys That's a cherry issue That's Dana I can't handle this Dana handles the cherries Dana will you please Get the cherries Wait you want me to put

Eight cherries Each person who works there Puts a cherry in the drink Everybody has Thank you Dana Everybody's on cherry duty Dana just explained it to us Thank you Dana

About a minute later He calls the server over And he's clutching his jaw And says I biting his jaw And says I bit into a pit And broke some dental work That's me And he holds a pit up

Me You know that happened to me Yes Yes I bit into a pit of a date And cracked my tooth down to the root But you're not a deadbeat dad No Not even could be

Staff at the restaurant became suspicious As maraschino cherries generally don't have pits. They never have a pit. It's like fruit cocktail cherries. He held up this pit that looked like a regular cherry, said Weinergrad. The next day, the man came back with handwritten forms from a dental office describing his

alleged injuries. Oh, so he wants to sue them. Yes. Or he hurt his tooth himself and decided, I'll go somewhere and see if I can blame it on someone else. The old eight cherry Coke scam. Worried about being sued for damages, Weinergrad said he typed the man's name into Google, which led him to a Facebook page started by one of Stroop's sons.

What? I started following some links and got to the Department of Justice website, and sure enough, he was the number one most wanted deadbeat dad and the picture was him from 20 years ago, a spitting image. It was absolutely him. Nothing had changed. Just older, hair loss, glasses now, but I was sure

it was him. Hair loss. I love that he got that. That's such a dick. That is such a like emotionless dick. Should have gotten for him. Weinergrad, just over here laying it down. Yes. You know, typical older hair loss. It's like hair loss.

You did not need to add. Nothing had changed. Not that he was just older. Older. Hair loss. Hair loss. A little of the same. Erectile dysfunction.

You can tell he's got ED by looking at him. Wait, you don't know that. No, he needs to go to by looking at him Wait, you don't know that He needs to go to 4hims.com You don't know that Erectile dysfunction I mean, how exciting would that moment be If you're like googling and typing And Facebooking

And then you're like, oh my god It's him That is an aha moment That most detectives don't ever get Like when they caught the Golden State Killer They didn you guys! That is an aha moment that most detectives don't ever get. Like, when they caught the Golden State Killer, they didn't have that big of an aha moment. They were just tired. They were just like, oh, that's him.

Thank God. There you go. Weinergrad's got a hunch. Yeah. I'm going on it. It's so sweet that they call it a hunch. It's way more than a hunch. I know.

It's a sting. I also feel like the Canadian in him would have pronounced something in a way that we don't pronounce it. Like, hair loss, erectile dysfunction. Do you put the emphasis on this? Erectile dysfunction. That's what Wannagrad did. He then telephoned Jupe Cousteau under the guise of wanting to settle the dental complaint and invited him to come to the restaurant for dinner. Come down to the restaurant.

We're going to give you your money. Come on down. Come on down. We're going to settle it all up for you. We're going to give you some tooth money. I got a hunch he should come down here. This guy is so brave. I love him.

Sure enough, he comes in a day or two later, and I talk to him. He said, I wanted to be sure. I didn't want to say this might be the guy or it might not be once he felt sure. Why undergrad jotted down the license plate on Stroop's car and called the RCMP the next day. Wow.

Mounted police. They didn't think they could do anything because they're on horses. We're from Canada. We can't do it. It's out of our jurisdiction. If he wants to play us in hockey, we can do that. We'll put him into the boards for you. Yeah, I'll rough him up and I'll pull his jersey over his head,

but I can't do anything else. It's out of our jurisdiction. If it's a real crime, we don't do that. Yeah, we don't know what you're mad about, but we'll do whatever we can. Can we just give him a hug? Because they said he's not wanted here. He's wanted in the United States

They can't do anything I was quite surprised by that Said Weinergrad Yeah Weinergrad Not to be deterred Then contacted the Inspector General's office Of the United States

He's going all the way up He's making a long distance international call Within an hour I had the FBI U.S. Marshals And the Office of the Inspector General calling wanting more information. Now, that seems like an exaggeration. They really wanted

this guy. I love it, though. Within an hour. By the way. It probably took longer than an hour. It probably took like two hours, but he chose to stay. And I feel like the FBI is getting a bad rap right now in the world. Let's give them credit where credit is due. Getting this guy. Getting Joop Cousteau. You know what they're not being? They're not being a deadbeat organization. They're stepping. Getting this guy. Getting Joop Cousteau. You know what they're not being? They're not being a deadbeat organization.

They're stepping up in this scenario. Joop was arrested by the Canada Border Service Agency on February 1st and taken back to the U.S. to face charges and has now been sentenced to two years in jail. So here's the deal. So he got greedy. You know what I'm saying? He's like, I'm

fine. I haven't paid child support. I can be a regular at the Bears. I want to screw somebody else over. But he screwed, he sort of bit the hand that was feeding him maraschino cherries. The food store. He bit the hand of the food store that was feeding him. You don't do that. I know. Especially if you're a regular there. Like, do it at a

food store that you normally don't go to. Why go to the one? But this guy is wild. He's not thinking logically. He didn't think Weinergrad was going to have a hunch. And now I'm so sad that this place, Weinergrad, lost its business. I know. Bearsden's closed. But maybe Weinergrad is now like a PI.

Detective, a cold case file guy. I mean, that's on CBS. A quiet little Canada town with an old man who's solving crimes. I do cold case files. Canada town. Canada town? Who's going to call me out on that? Canada town, Dan? I called myself on it. Canada Town. Canada Town, Dan. Maybe that's what it's called.

I did it. I'll see you in Canada Town. Canada people town. There it is. But he only got two years after all that. It's not enough. In order to pay the restitution Well, that's good. At least he's got to pay that back. You think when they walked in

To the bear's den to get him He was like He's over here The fat guy with no hair Aging badly Right over here Aging badly That's a mini

There you go Mini episode Andrea Rosen Follow her on Twitter She is at Andrea Fart Rosen Andrea Fart Perfect

Rosen Rosie you were great In our poop documentary Yes Watch great in our poop documentary. Yes. Watch her in the poop documentary. It's available still. You can get it on Amazon. You can get it on iTunes.

Poop Talk. Poop Talk. She's hilarious in it. And also, if you're in LA, you can see her at Crane's Comedy. September 19th. September 19th. A great show and a great person to come and see. And oh, shit.

We got to get back to work. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Stick around.

Make a sound. Look around. It's Dumb People Town. It's a good show.