Dumb People Town - Aparna Nancherla and Michael Che - Hung in There

Episode Date: October 22, 2019

Dumb People Town comes to the Bell House in Brooklyn for their LIVE with musical guest Rhett Miller. After a few Flatos, the guys welcome Aparna Nancherla and Michael Che with the Florida Man Game. Then they discuss the story of a man who is falsely accused of stealing and takes great measures to prove his innocence. For story 2, WE HAVE A GREENLEE with a report of an avocado causing a problem. 

Star Beans on Air. Oh yes, Bell House! We did it! We finally gentrified Brooklyn. I'm so excited about tonight's show. Amazing guests. I'm so happy you're all here. It's a packed house. It feels fucking great. We've been doing this. The last time we came here and did this show,

we did not have this element of the show. We've been doing it live at Largo. I don't know if any of you have heard the live Largo shows. Largo, a beautiful music venue. The Bell House is a great music venue. And a guy that we have doing music for us tonight is someone we met when we came to L.A late 90s and he was a fixture at Largo his music is so good he's someone we love so much and he fits it perfectly

would you please welcome to play a little bit of music and our theme song and he'll be here throughout mr. Rhett Miller everybody right now. Hello, dumb people town. Woo! Alright, alright. I'm gonna rock and roll. That's what I do. I'm gonna play y'all a song that I co-wrote with a guy named Bob Dylan. No big deal. But it's not about that because anybody can write a song with Bob Dylan.

I'm playing it for you because of Dan Van Kirk. Hails from Illinois. And I wrote this song, technically all I did was I took a Bob Dillon song and I put new words on it and then I found a manager who knew Bob Dillon's manager and I got them to get in touch with each other and get permission from Bob Dillon to put this song out as if it were a song that he and I sat in a room together and wrote. So that's how you write a song with Bob Dylan. And the song is called Champagne, Illinois, and a lot of people from that place, Champagne, Illinois, have taken issue with this

song. And I think that's unfair because in the song, I'm not saying that Champagne, Illinois is hell per se. Champagne's a college town, and it's real easy to get stuck there. You live there and go to college there, and you graduate college, and you don't want to go out into the real world, so you just stay there, and maybe you sleep real late every day, and then you walk down to the diner in a bathrobe, and you get some eggs, and you talk about Kierkegaard, and you pretend you're still in college, and then you turn 40.

So it's not hell exactly. It's more like purgatory. I'll let you be the judge. The bottom line's been snorted. Oh, the bottom card's been dealt. No one knows, like you know right now, how truly bad bad it felt All your life you wasted Oh, dreaming about the day Where could bees kill off their queen And carry all her eggs away Oh, and if you die

Fearing God and painfully employed Oh, you will not go to heaven You'll go to champagne in the north Up north in Chicago Where booze makes no one blush Memories come back to you In a double bourbon rush Memories aren't all bad

And neither, my friend, you. There is an argument there must be some heaven meant for hearts that are half true. Oh, but if you spend your whole life rolling horses into Troy, oh, you will not go to heaven. You'll go to Champaign, Illinois. No, you will not go to heaven, you'll go to Champaign, Illinois. No, you will not go to heaven, you'll go to Champaign, Illinois. Roll on blacktop highway Circles towards the sun Springfield's in the distance And that's the last big one After that comes judgment

Our judgment will be swift You will be swift. You will be eliminated, but here's a parting gift. Oh, if you die fearing God and painfully employed, you will not go to heaven. You'll go to champagne and annoy. No, you will not go to heaven. You'll go to champagneaign, Illinois. No, you will not go to heaven. You'll go to Champaign, Illinois. Yeah!

Yeah! All right, you know how this works, guys. Other musical guests get up here and they do the Dumb People Town theme song. And I've noticed a trend with these other musical guests on the show. There's a lot of lyrics in this song. And when the Sklar brothers reached out to me about being on the show, they were like, and also you get to sing the theme song. It's really easy. I'm like, I've heard the theme song. It's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But what they underestimated me on was that I actually sing a lot of words all the time. That's what I do for a living. So I listen to these other people, and usually their versions are like this. Dan and Ren and Jay will share tales of folks. And I'm like, bro, you are not getting the point of this song. So it goes like this. Dan and Ren and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose They never choose to make the news

Breaking down each epic fail in Florida There's half-price bail, I'm happy to say They couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam With our co-host, man, Dan I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with our co-host, Dan Kirk. Don't be a jerk. When the music quits, that's when the funny is. We're going to take you down to the ground.

Make a sound. Hunker down. It's Dumb People Town. We're going to do that one more time. One, two, three. You know what? I really appreciate the clapping, but I'll tell you this right now. One time, I did a short-lived talk show with Sharon Osbourne. It was the very first week of production, and it was what in a restaurant world might call a cold open. So I was there. They had a giant studio audience at 11 a.m.

And everybody, I walked out there all by myself, just like this one microphone, one guitar. And I started playing my song. She goes, now, ladies and gentlemen, we've got Rhett Miller. And they all looked at me like I was an idiot. And I started playing my song. And then she looked at the audience and went, and they all, all these freaking grandmas started clapping and I'm like there's gonna be three minutes there's no way you're gonna keep up with this but you know what the good thing was that heard tiny tiny bulldog ran up to the base of the microphone and started barking at me so loud they had to cut the whole thing and they never used the show it's kind of amazing that that never took off as a talk show.

All right, I'm going to give them a clean take so that they can use it as their new theme song version. It goes like this. Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose We'll make the news, breaking down each epic fail In Florida, there's half-price bail, I'm happy to say They couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast jam with co-host our man Dan Van Kirk Don't be a jerk, just win the music, it's the funny hits And we are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound, hook it down. It's Dumb People Town. Rhett Miller. Rhett Miller. I'll take all of that you got.

All right. Oh, geez. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Welcome to New York. So talented. Rhett Miller. So good to be here.

It's been a while since we've been here. Should we start off the show? I think we should. Hey, townies. Welcome to a live episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Here's what I love about New York, how affordable it's gotten. It actually went in the other direction. A lot of people thought it was going to just keep getting more expensive, but it got away. We have a great show tonight, and if you know what we do. Just a suggestion in New York. You should really develop the peers. I feel like you guys are wasting that opportunity

to put restaurants and stuff there. And just have one blue bottle coffee. Just one. That would be great if you could get one. Okay, here we go. So what we like to do on this show is we have a spirit animal in our universe.

We talk about him a lot. He... The Liger of Dumb People. Yeah. He's almost like a religious figure. Like if we had a wild, wild country,

he'd be the leader of it. That's right. He would have 27 Rolls Royces and none of them would work. None of them. I'll have 27 Rolls Royces and none of them would work. I'll be up on cinder blocks. His name is Jan Flato. If we can get him up on the show.

Love you, Jan. Love you, Jan. His sunglasses never transition. They're like Caitlyn Jenner. It takes a while. They're like Caitlyn Jenner. It takes a while. They're like Caitlyn Jenner. They could kill you. And show no remorse.

Okay, so. So there are a lot of things about this guy, like truisms about him that Randy and I and Dan try to come up with. Rhett may even have one or two. And so I think we like to start off the show just to get warmed up. This is our calisthenics. For example, Jan Flato's primary care physician

is a veterinarian. Okay, that's good. Jan Flato likes to tell women that he's about to pull his troops out of Syria. Bad idea. Bad idea. Jan Flato was born at a drive-in movie theater. Off season. Jan Flato has a saying,

pap smears are for pussies. That's true. Jan Flato has both washed his hair and peed in the same sink. I got one. Yeah, let's hear it. Come on, Rhett.

Jan Flato has a green thumb, but it's genetic. His dad has a blue thumb and his mom has a yellow thumb. Perfect. He hates gardening. Jan Flato's birthstone is sheetrock. Jan Flato orders his water rusty. Jan Flato once gave

a Cinnabon as a wedding gift. Here, I'm going to jump in with this because it's an email I got from Jan Flato two days ago. Oh! Hi, Daniel. When you're in Brooklyn for the live Dumb People Town, please let my fellow

Brooklynites know I'm one of them. Born in Brooklyn. Lived there till I was 30. Why am I reading this like Brody Stevens? You got it. Sheepdog is my bay home. You got it. A short walk to the beaches.

It was a great place to live. Great restaurants. Went to Lincoln High School less than a mile from Coney Island. Love the Cyclone roller coaster and Nathan's hot dogs and fries. Can't think of anything better than a gathering of fellow townies in Brooklyn.

Love you all. Flato. Yeah. That almost makes me feel bad for saying Jan Flato has herpes on his back. Or me saying Jan Flato once got a DUI on a carousel. Jan Flato likes his hair like he likes his women. Split ends.

Oh! Jan Flato once lost a pet tiger in a Walmart. Jan Flato jerked off to Star Trek The Next Generation He just loves a future society Where everyone gets along, alright? Talk about a Klingon Jan Flato once punched At Sklar Brothers Jan Flato once punched a man

he was pretty sure was that fucker from MacGyver. Jan Flato is in a Dog the Bounty Hunter cover band. I don't think I can beat that one. Mine was just Jan Flato taught his pet bird how to say who let the dogs out.

You want to call it? Should we call it at that? I got one. You do one and then Randy will. Jan Flato went to the beach and lost two metal detectors. That's great. That's a great joke. So good.

At Rattmiller. At Rattmiller with all of your compliments. Jan Flato thinks the the Eagles are a lot better Now that Glenn Frey is dead Alright I think we're warmed up Are we warm? Are we warm? We got you know

Part of the fun about doing this show In cities like LA and New York Is that you get amazing people to come in and do it. We're so excited about our two guests. I could list all their credits, but you already know who they are. Please give a warm welcome to Michael Che and Aparna Nancherla, everybody! Yeah, dude. That's how we do it. So happy to have you guys. Hi.

How are you guys? Yes. This is fun. This is good. Well, we believe the world's getting dumber Do you guys believe that the world's getting dumber? I'll say hard agree That's a hard agree

You can agree with that, I'm sure I mean, this is kind of perfectly designed for both of you, this show We get stories sent in by our great fans out there Many of you guys, thank you so much Dan gets them, we don't know them So we've never seen any But Dan, should we jump into a story? We can, but at first, we've never seen any. But Dan, should we jump into a story? Because we've got them here right now.

We can. But at first, we're going to play the Florida Man birthday game. Oh, yeah. This is great. All right. Here we go. Michael Che. May 19th.

Yes. That is your birthday? That's my birthday. Here you go. On May 19th, if you type in that with Florida Man, your Florida Man is Florida Man tasered after walking around the neighborhood naked in the rain.

Here he is. Ready? Oh, Jesus. He looks like the evil brother of Wreck-It Ralph. I feel like he's getting tasered in that picture. Did they say why he was tasered? He was naked in the rain walking around his neighborhood. He's the first college professor who's tenured that got fired.

Yeah. Naked in the rain could be an R. Kelly song. Am I wrong? Is that too soon? No, it is. It is. That's a different kind of rain. Rhett Miller.

Rhett Miller. Yeah. September 6th. Yeah. Virgo. Virgo. I was a Virgo until they changed all of it. Yeah, what the fuck is that all about?

Whoa, bro. It's almost like it's arbitrary Okay So when we lived in New York And we did our show Apartment 2F Back in 1997 here We wrote a joke about that About astrology We said something good or bad may or may not happen to you

in the near or distant future. That is so Capricorn. That is so Capricorn you have no idea. Rhett, you're naked. You're Florida man. You're naked.

Well, it's not wrong. Naked Florida man starts house fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill. Wow. Not going to lie, those cookies look pretty good, though. Yeah. Why didn't they just say man going through divorce?

That is a full meal for this guy right here. Here's a fun little tidbit from the story. We actually covered this on Dumb People Town. I remember it, yeah. And this was my favorite part. When firefighters got to the home around 5.30 p.m. That's some late afternoon nakedness. Which is the 2.30 a.m. of day drinking.

Yes. They could see smoke coming from the inside. They knocked on the door. At that point, a naked man opened the door, said, I'm sorry, then closed the door. By the way, also could have said that to the children. He doesn't speak to anymore. Exactly.

I'm sorry. They left out the part where before he opened it, he said the words, tell her. You can just see the fat dripping right off those cookies. And I will bet you, even if the house burned down, that George Foreman grill still works.

Shit's impenetrable like Foreman himself. That's right. It's a great grill. Am I right? It's a great grill. Shit's impenetrable like Foreman himself That's right Aparna It's a great grill Through our mutual friends I found out August 22nd Correct

Nice Sometimes we do these And I find something that I have no idea How this passed me because it is so great Like when Kate Micucci was on here and we found out that her Florida man was man ties fishing line to toddler

to child's tooth then pulls it off by driving away in Camaro. This is yours. Ready? Oh boy. Okay. Shirtless man rides motorcycle down highway while lying on his back and steering with his feet

oh my wow look at him I mean that guy just works out his upper body never seen a leg press this is what happened when Jesus came back and didn't

tell anybody I'm just gonna ride this out that's like the definition seen a leg press. This is what happened when Jesus came back and didn't tell anybody. I'm just going to ride this out. That's like the definition of ride or die. It's kind of both. It's kind of ride and die. He's so relaxed. He is. He looks really cool.

This is how you get to live your life if you don't open your mail. I don't have to pay it if I didn't read it. Right. They can't see me if I close my eyes. Fuck off, Deb. How do you practice that? This is the type of guy that would go backpacking

through North Carolina. He's like the laziest adrenaline junkie. He's like, I want to die, but I don't want to do the work. Right. He like hang glides in a sleeping bag. Yeah. All right, you want to get into a story? Let's get into a story.

You guys ready? Let's do it. Good luck. Go. into a story? Let's get into a story. You guys ready? This was sent in by Jason Hodgson at Jason Hodgson.

S-O-D-G-S-O-N. Thank you, Jason. I'm going to read you the headline because the last time we were lucky enough to do a show here at Bell House, we did a story on the same subject, and I didn't realize it until after I had put this show together.

Okay, good. Here's the headline. Man took out 10-inch penis in shop to prove he wasn't stealing. To which the person said, I didn't say you were stealing. Nobody. You got a 10-inch penis you want to show people.

Sir, you're technically not even in the store. Part of me is. Okay. And sir, this is a color me mind. There are children painting kiln blown. All right. It feels like the most creative way to show both your hands. At once. That's perfect That's hashtag truth

Hashtag blessed Hashtag world cup Here we go, ready? This is the man who claims he was reduced To taking out his 10 inch penis To prove he wasn't a thief at a till surrounded by shocked shoppers, which you know

he called over. By the way, if you have 10 inches, you're never reduced to anything. Well, like exactly 10 inches? Well, you'll wait until we get into it. Which is also what he says.

Yeah. This is the type of guy that carries a ruler with him, too. I just want to know how he got to that number. Did he round up or did he round down? That's right. The great thing about this story. If he rounds down, I kind of like him. Yeah.

Right? If he rounds down, we're liking him. That's what I'm saying. That's right. If he says kind of like him. Yeah. Right? If he rounds down, we're lucky. That's what I'm saying. That's right. He's generous. Yeah. He doesn't want to make anybody feel bad. This story was accompanied by so many weird photos.

Now you're thinking, oh, of his dick? No, worse. Here we go. This is the type of story that Dan researches and then has to clear his history. Or go down a dark rabbit hole that is filled with fun. Okay, ready? Here we go.

Here is the man and the woman he is currently dating. Go to the Facebook page so you can play along with this moment right here. Whoa! Look who's waiting to fight Rocky. Those are the deadest eyes I've ever seen.

On both of them. This feels like hour three at the JCPenney glamour shots. Nobody has anything left to give. They just said we are smiling. Or it's like day four of a Tony Robbins conference,

and this is how they look. Well, now the story's starting to make sense. Right? Well, okay. Let's walk through this. How do you... All right, why? Now, okay. Because, okay, let's walk through this. How do you... All right, why? Now, initially you think, oh, someone may have seen a bulge.

Right. And he was like, no, that's just me. That's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe, I'm looking, maybe it was more like, I don't got a steal from you. I got a big ass dick, right? Right, right right right Which is how he settles every argument

Yeah yeah yeah yeah The fuck do I need free Pringles for I got a can right here I'm fine baby That's right I got a sleeve in my pants Officer you really think I was speeding Look down

Yeah The fuck am I in a rush for Right How could How could my alimony be late Eden, look down. Yeah. The fucking minor rushed forward. Right? How could my alimony be late? I got a big dick. That's right. I guess it is kind of nice that a shop owner accused a white guy

of stealing something. I think that's beautiful. Well, we're not even that. Here we go. Steve Whitehurst, that's his name. Of course. Yep. Steve Whitehurst was accused of shoplifting

after suspicious staff spotted a larger-than-usual bulge in his trousers. I stand corrected. Okay. The unsuspecting man and his girlfriend, the best name ever when you look at that photo, Mandy Shenton. Mandy! Mandy!

Mandy, put it down! Mandy be straight Shenton. You know what I mean? You shenton my ass? Mandy Shenton, they were about to pay at Scott's Menswear in Stoke-on-Trent in Staffordshire, England.

Okay. Mandy has not covered that part of her stomach in 18 years. Now that's a new wrinkle. You said menswear. So they thought he stuffed a shirt in his pants. Or socks. That's something that you could do.

They accused him of this at the checkout corner where he was attempting to buy $500 worth of clothing. But they assumed he wanted a scarf, I guess. That's right. But as they were waiting, a female manager made a stinging allegation accusing the man of stuffing clothes down the front of what he later admitted, this is him admitting,

were, quote, very tight jeans. Does he have any other kind of jeans? And those for everybody else are loose-fitting jeans. That's right. As Mandy Shenton's 18-month-old daughter watched on. No! This is the worst Batman origin story. This is how we got the Joker.

Oh, my God. The probing employee, which I assume they did. Oh, come on. Boo. Boo. Boo. Pointed at the man's area. It's at this point in the story,

if you're reading it, you get to the next photo, which somehow escalates this situation. Michael Chang called it. Michael, you called it. You did. He walks around with a ruler. Well, I'm giving Michael credit.

Alright, give Michael credit Michael credit. All right. Give Michael credit for that. Wow. So one hand is holding a ruler and the other is basically going, ta-da. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do with this big dick? I feel like he's probably got giant balls, too. Yeah, I bet he does.

No one ever talks about how big their balls are. No, that's... I mean, like, not unmetaphorically. This looks like what would happen if you put Rob Gronkowski in the aging app. That's what it feels like. That's a great joke. I mean, the haircut is alt-right.

The ruler is all wrong. That goes to another photo because we need to get Mandy back in there. Ready for this? Here we go. Uh-oh. No! Come on, Mandy. Look at that smug look on his face, too.

She's like so mad. Michael or Parna, would you like to fill in the listener at home as to what's happening right now Yeah I would say Mandy is pointing the ruler At his genital area In both a A confrontational

But Also Stockholm Syndrome-y way She is trapped Yeah She be trapped That is not a woman that looks happy about Ten inch penis There is entirely too little and too much

Shag carpet in this scene right here She's like move your leg cover my c-section scar. Come on, do it. Do it if you love me. She like was in the Spice Girls but got kicked out before they became famous. She's dead Spice.

She's true crime spice In a bid to clear his name Steve Whitehurst Dropped his trousers to the floor To prove his innocence Also didn't have to go all the way to the floor That's right

That's a little grandiose Maybe he did I don't know I've like walked into bathrooms before and seen dudes with pants all the way down the floor standing at a urinal. I'm like, what are you, six? What the fuck are you doing?

Also, I hope the person who worked there was like, no one asked you to do that. No one. Quote, this is Steve, I can't help the way I'm made. I just kept telling her that it was my penis. By the way, no one is talking about the fact that these are photographs

that they professionally had done. This is their Christmas card. Yeah. It's going to be a long winter. A long, hard winter. Despite presenting his boxer-clad lower half to the manager, he was not yet free of suspicion. Like it's fucking Shawshank Redemption.

Jesus. Quote, what is that bulge, the woman asked, gesturing to his heftily proportioned private area? Oh my God. Ready? By the way, when did this article become... No, it's erotic

fiction. It is? Yeah. I was going to say harlequin novel. That's how we think of it. Yes, we are twins as well. Twins. Mental twins. To really bring think. Yes, we are twins as well. Twins. Mental twins. To really bring the point home, we get another photo in this article. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Mandy's stepping up. Oh, no! We've now got a tape measure. We're now doing width. Is that it? Is it the widest dick ever, too? Does she have a microphone on? What is going on?

Oh, you're right. She is mic'd. Wait, what a partner? No, you're right. She's mic'd. She's mic'd for some reason. Also, I feel like that's the biggest he has ever smiled. Look, man. The guy, look, he's proud of his giant penis. And God bless him and her.

Isn't it great, though, that there's no bulge right now? Yeah, I think that lady might have seen it and was like sarcastically said, you must be smuggling some grapefruit. And then he was like, oh, yeah, he whips it out. And now they're like really excited that they're famous. I just love how much of an old man neck

he's got. You know what I mean? It's just tons of wrinkles. I like it. I love old man neck. It's like stacked ham. Alright. You're gonna have that the rest of your life. Stacked. He kind of looks like Mickey Rourke

in Sin City. Yeah. Looks like Mickey Rourke after a fight. He looks like Mickey Rourke. I was going to say he looks like Mickey Rooney. Today. I'll allow it. Jesus. Steve Whitehurst

was then taken to a cubicle by a security male security guard. What? He claimed. That's a typo. Good writing. And made to show his 10-inch penis. The guard shook his head, left the cubicle,

and approached the manager, who said to the guard, please tell me he's got something down there. The security guard replied, no. I thought you were going to say the security guard left the cubicle and promptly went to therapy. When you said cubicle, I thought they were like, we got to hire this guy. You work here now.

Wait, so the security guard has a cubicle? Yeah. That may be the most unbelievable part of this whole story. Who the fuck puts a security guard in a cubicle? Yeah, what is he doing? He took a picture of his dick, put it on his cubicle

wall, and wrote the words, hang in there. Oh. a picture of his dick, put it on his cubicle wall and wrote the words, hang in there. Or hung in there. Oh, yeah. So good. Following what was the craziest experience of his life,

come on, up it, baby, Mr. Whitehurst, Stephen, complained to Scott's menswear parent company, J.D. Sports. Mandy said it was so humiliating why they did to Steve... Sorry, they wrote this wrong. What they did to Steve was disgusting.

Except for to Steve, who was like, yeah, I got a good look? Staff at the store deny asking Mr. Whitehurst to expose himself and claimed there was good grounds to suspect him. First of all, I'm going to go on a limb here and say I don't think there was. Not many people walk up trying to buy

$500 worth of stuff and steal. They usually do one or the other. And then when he took his pants down, how far do you want to go? At that point, you're in like a game of chicken here, and I'd say Steve won. Yeah. I feel like if you take one

of my shirts and put it on your penis, you could have it. That's a good life rule. That's right. We'll just say it fell off the truck. They claim... Wait, that's how big his dick is.

He has to dress it up. For Halloween. Are you going to take it when you put it back on the rack? Yeah. Somebody else is going to buy that shit? It's done. Why does this say as is on the tag? Well, the neck got real

stretched out. They claim they found a missing electronic tag in the jacket that he tried on and the bulge was, quote, much smaller than the staff remembered it. You don't have to be mean to Steve. That's right. It's not 10 inches now.

It's like at full. We will get out of here on this. Would you guys like to play a round of Guess the Agey with Steve Whitehurst? Yeah. I want to guess his age. So, it's straight up closest. You don't gotta be prices right. You don't have to be under. You are our guest.

Would any of you like to go first, tig, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, wherever you wanna go? Guess his age. How old do you think that man is? I'll start the guessing at 46. 46 years old. A year younger than us. Okay.

That either makes us feel great or terrible. Or horrible. No. Or both. I got a question. Is the 18-month-old his kid? No. Due to the fact that they didn't say it,

I'm going to think he made clear to everyone every day that that's not his kid. It's her kid. I'm going to say the 18-month-old isn't even hers. I'm going to go one step further and say maybe he's not sure. Maybe she's not sure. I'm going to put him at

57. Michael, what do you think? I got 52. 52? Yeah. I think he is 49. He wears clothes with his age on it. That's great.

In a year, he'll throw that away and steal another shirt on his penis. Give me the 50. Roll it up. I need to put it in my pants. Yeah, I'm going to say 56. 56 years old. Are there a couple townies who would like to play along? Front row, what's your name, brother? Jake. Yeah, I'm going to say 56. 56 years old. Are there a couple townies who would like to play along? Front row, what's your name, brother?

Hi, Jake. Welcome to town. What is your guess? I'm going to go 61. If he's 61, he looks great. No, I said Botox. He's got to be Botox. Right over here, what's your name? Ashley, welcome to town. What do you got?

54 years old. All right. I can tell you this. One of you is one year off. All right. Someone said 62. I want it to be 62 so badly right now. I can't even begin to tell you.

Steve the Meat Whitehurst. Come on. You're welcome, Steve. We'll close out the first story, then I imagine we'll go to a song or a break. You guys will tell me. But I can tell you that Steven Whitehurst, stepdad galore, is

47 years old. Oh! Oh! Oh! That's That is our age. He is our fucking age. Get those dicks out. Let's see what you got.

Yeah! Together. Together we're at eight. It would be amazing It'd be amazing to see the moment your career ended. Yeah, right there. All right, that's the first story. What are you thinking?

All right. Let's bring Rhett Miller back up to the mic. He's going to play another song for you. Rhett Miller, everybody. Rhett Miller back up to the mic. He's gonna play another song for you. Rhett Miller everybody! Rhett Miller! Alright, I grew up in Texas. I'm a seventh generation Texan. Alright! And when I was a kid I had to go to... I went to church a lot. And now when I go back to Dallas I don't play this next song

because my sister-in-law gets mad at me it's it's called Jesus loves you Jesus loves you more than I do just because he doesn't know you not like I do Jesus says you'll get salvation if you just keep on waiting and reading the same book over and over again talk to him all night but I'm right here. Well, he makes wine from water, but I just bought you a beer. Oh, you say Jesus loves you,

and I say, what about me? Maybe Jesus loves you, but where the hell is he? loves you he's got the power and the glory he's got a pretty kick-ass story and what do I got I got the hots for you he's got the whole world in his hands And me, I've got Lone Star in cans And I'm bringing one over to you Sitting down next to you Ooh, I'm not discounting the sermon on the mountain

Oh, when I was little, you know they dunked me in the fountain They told me I was born again since then I've been torn And when I think about making love with you I know it would be more than sin I'm a real person, I'm a real love person You can do a whole lot worse than ended up with me then Even though I'm a heathen Not everybody out here is connecting like we've been

I'll take you to the river Let me take you to the river. I will deliver you. Oh, pray to him all night, but I'm your man. He can walk on water, but I will kiss you on the sand. Oh, you say Jesus loves you and I say what about me? Maybe Jesus loves you You say what about me maybe Jesus loves you more than I do Just because he doesn't know you Not like I do Rhett Miller. This nigga made a diss record to Jesus. So damn good.

Damn. You think Jesus had a 10-inch penis, too? Jesus got a 10-inch penis? God made him, right? I mean, exactly. If I was making my son, I'd... No, no, he made him big. Give him a tennis man.

I'd hook him up. Would you hook him up or would you be like, I don't want that to be what everyone thinks about you? You know what I mean? I would hook him up, especially if I know how the story's going to end. Yeah, that's right. It's the least I could do is give you some...

You got about 17 years of good use out of that thing. Is that... I don't know. Maybe make a verse on that? I should. I should do that. The spoken word breakdown in the next verse. I'll bring you in, Michael. Yeah, please. Let's do the remix. Do it.

10-Inch Jesus is a good title for a song. Oh, that is? That's a good title. That is a country band right there. Opening up for Big and Rich. Same band. It's a great band. Thanks. You want to do a second story?

Let's do a second. You guys ready for a second story? Sent in by Derek Shipley, at Derek, D-E-R-I-C-K, Shipley, S-H-I-P-L-E-Y. I hope you guys are ready, because we got a Greenlee. Oh! All right, we're going to explain it for those who don't know. Will Greenlee is a journalist, air quotes,

from biggest air quotes ever. No, from the TC Palm in Florida. And Will Greenlee likes to describe things. We always like to say that he has 1,500 words to fill in every single article, and he has about 900 words of story. So he likes to over-explain things, whether we not like he explained how an anchor works.

He's now tweeting at us. Yeah. I asked him, I said, explain to me what cilantro is again, and he did. Soap. It's a man. Tastes like dishwashing detergent for some of us.

And so when a Greenlee article comes along, the game we like to play is that did Will Greenlee write the over-explained something or did Dan? Doesn't he also kind of look like the evil painting from Ghostbusters 2? Yeah. There is something behind those eyes.

There's 10 inches of terror behind those eyes. Oh, give me the baby. That is horrifying. He did not spend more than $6 on those glasses. I don't have a problem with it. I would say check any storage locker under his name. That's what I said when I see those eyes.

I actually like this guy. I do too. I love him. So the game that we play is did Dan write it or did Greenlee? Dan has gotten so good at this. I mean, there was a time. You can't play the patterns on this. You can't be like, well, we just

had three Greenlees and now Dan's gonna do it. One time Dan did a whole article and all of them were Dan. And then all of them were Greenlee. So shall we get into it? Here we go. Ready? Let's do it.

Port St. Lucie. That's a given. Yeah. Florida. A flap involving an avocado and a middle finger wound up sending a 56-year-old woman to the slammer according to an arrest affidavit. The woman, identified as the victim,

but to help keep it all straight, we're going to call Kelly told Port St. Lucie police on September 13th that the incident occurred while she was watching television on the couch a couch is a cushioned piece of furniture

usually used for seating it may be used for sleeping in homes couches are normally found in the family room who wanted you to know what a couch is? Me or Greenlee?

Now, you are a guest. Rep, you could go first, you could go last. You guys can guess however you want to do it. I feel like if you're good at it, then you wouldn't go with couch because that's so fucking obvious. So I'm going to say that was him. That was Greenlee.

Okay. Anybody else? Go ahead. I drove down here with my buddy Paul Shimbury, and he's a big Jan Flato fan. We thought a lot of things about Jan Flato, and he hired Greenlee to write his biography. Really?

That would be brilliant. Is that Jan Flato hired? That's straight up Greenlee. Okay. Greenlee, okay. He's good. The best. Okay okay Yeah, it's like that thing where it's so bad it's good again It's like genius level

explaining so I'm going to go with Greenlee Randy Jay, what do you think? That's Dan I think that's Dan trying to make us think it's Greenlee I think that's Dan as well Dan is so inside my head.

I don't know what's going on anymore. Like, we should be good at this, but we're not. We're the shittiest at it. This is like me in senior year Spanish after taking it for six years. I'm like, I should fucking know this right now. And yo no soy. It's say. It's say!

I'll read it again. soy. It's say. It's say! I'll read it again. The woman identified as the victim, Kelly, told Port St. Lucie police on September 13th that the incident occurred while she was watching television on the couch. A couch is a cushioned piece of furniture usually used

for seating. It may be used for sleeping. In homes, couches are normally found in the family room. The person who wrote that is me. Oh! in the family room. The person who wrote that is me. Oh. Well, we threw him.

I want to say something. And once again, I have used a photo that looks like the advertisement for saying I was killed two months later by a truck driver. Or you're at your nephew's birthday party and you're waiting for them to bring you a piece

of cake. Or I've been pulled over in a case of mistaken identity and the cops were like sit there, do not move. And show me your fucking hands. Or you think the bird poop is braille. Yeah.

Oh yeah. That's a good one. He's just reading reading it. Oh, yeah. He's reading. That's great. That's a good one. He's just reading the table. Reading the table. I look like I'm recreating Jack at the end of Titanic. Oh, Dan. Okay, ready? Yeah.

By the way, I feel so good about getting that. I've watched both of my children being born. I feel better about getting that right that Dan just told me. And I'm not kidding at all. Than one of your kids being born. Than one of them, and I won't specify. The victim, that's Kelly, stated that that, when she was on the couch watching TV,

that's when the 56-year-old roommate, who we're going to call Kim, Kim got upset. They're roommates, though. If you have a 56-year-old roommate, a few things did not work out. Right. You're either very young

and just got dumped and are trying to put it back together, or you're very old and you've killed three men you're Robert Durst I careful I'll end up talking like Robert the horse I know the answer okay here we go I wrote I wrote it. I wrote it. Okay. Robert, your microphone is still on.

What? Can you tell me where my brother Douglas is? Okay, here we go. He's in New York. Excellent. Where was I? Okay. His 56-year-old roommate.

Right. The victim, Kelly, stated that's when her 56-year-old roommate. Right. The victim, Kelly, stated that's when her 56-year-old roommate, Kim, got upset because she allegedly ate all the sliced-up avocado in the refrigerator. Oh, no. That was their treat for the month. I know. You were supposed to ration that out? By the way,

have you ever sliced up avocado? If you don't eat avocado the second that you cut it... Yeah, you can't put it in the fridge. It's already dead. No, it's... The roommate? I know nothing about avocado.

Are we still talking about Robert Durst? I'm sorry. You gotta chop it up. Okay. I don't know where the head is. Check the river in Galveston. I told you. It's not a river.

It's the ocean. Okay. It's not the ocean. It's the Gulf. Let it's the ocean Okay It's not the ocean, it's the gulf Let's keep going Okay, that's what Kelly said Kelly said that the roommate The 56 year old roommate ate all the avocado

The woman said, the 56 year old woman That's Kim, so Kelly said that Kim Yelled about the missing avocado before the victim Showed her the middle finger Which by the way Showed her the middle finger Could Which, by the way, showed her the middle finger could be like reaching down and holding up someone else's middle finger. I'm going to show you this middle finger.

Look at it. An avocado is a pear-shaped fruit with green skin and a large seed in the middle that grows on trees. Known as alligator pears, avocados are high in monosaturated fat and feature prominently in guacamole. Probably. I would say

they are pretty much... Feature prominently in guacamole is the biggest understatement ever. That'd be like saying Michael Che is kind of on Weekend Update. You know what I mean? Well, I mean, yeah Yeah, you are

I have now gone to a picture of an avocado Oh my gosh That was included in the article In case you don't know The reason I included it is because it had a caption That said, a lovely avocado Photo by Sarah Marino T.C. Palm that said, a lovely avocado. Photo by Sarah Marino,

TC Palm. By the way, I've seen a lot of avocados in my day. We live in California. There are a ton of avocados out there. That is by no means lovely. That seems like a bitch. All right, my friends. I've seen a lot of avocados as well.

I've never seen one just standing against the wall. Like, what? What the fuck? Steve Whitehurst's wife has a ruler right next to it. It's like... It's only four inches, bro. That's like

in an avocado police lineup. Yeah. Which was the avocado that did it to you? It looks like the Death Star, if you look at it closely. Okay. So who said what an avocado? Who wanted you to know what an avocado was and that it's included in guacamole? Anyone can guess.

Me or Greenlee? I say Greenlee. You say Greenlee? I'm more a partner. You're hurt. Yeah, you say Greenlee. Greenlee? Rhett? They can't all be you. I'll say Greenlee? I say Greenlee. You say Greenlee? I'm more partner. You're her, yeah. Chase says Greenlee. Greenlee? Rhett?

They can't all be you. I'll say Greenlee. They totally can all be Dan. You don't understand. He's in our heads. He's going to fuck with you until you die. I think that's Greenlee. Okay.

I think the alligator fruit or whatever makes that a Greenlee. I don't think you would have written that Dan Greenlee, across the board play along wherever you are especially if you're literally in this room the person who wants you to know that that's a lovely avocado a pear shaped fruit with green skin

and a large seed in the middle that grows on trees known as alligator pears, avocados are high in monosaturated fat and feature prominently in guacamole. That was written by Greenlee! Two for two. Two for two. Nice job. Our guests did well.

Michael, you did well. The victimized woman, that's Kelly, the victimized woman said that while she was on the couch and after she gave her middle finger, her roommate threw something at the wall behind her and also hit her in the face. Displaying the middle finger is typically interpreted as a derogatory gesture.

It can be made with the right or left hand, and its use often escalates a situation. Contemporary parlance, the gesture is... In contemporary parlance, the gesture is called the bird and is paired with the verbs flip, flick, shoot, or give. Who wrote that? Me or Greenlee? Oh, I know.

Rhett says me. That's pretty close together. Yeah. I'm going greenly. Okay. I'm going greenly as well. Okay. There are moments at this

when we do the live show. We usually get some really high level guests. I just love that somewhere in Florida there's a guy who writes for the TC Palm. And here in New York, Michael Che and Aparna just both said, I think it's Greenlee.

Like, they're talking about him. It's so wonderful. I think that's Greenlee as well. I'm with you guys. God, it is close together to the other one. Jesus. I'm going to say that's Dan. I think that could be Dan.

I'm two for two and I think that's Dan. Clap if you're with Jay. Thank you. Alright, clap if you're with us. Clap if you got a 10 inch dick. Can I say one thing? Dan, stop clapping. Can I say one thing? Can I say one thing? If it is Greenlee,

then I figured out a pattern. I figured out a cheat code. Michael Che. If I'm right. If I'm wrong, then I don't know. If you're wrong about this, you may be wrong about tons of other things in your life. This might open the fucking matrix on you.

Okay. Okay, dad. Sorry. Sorry. Easy. Sorry we had to have this conversation. Displaying the middle finger typically is interpreted as a derogatory gesture. It can be made with the right or left hand, and its use often escalates a situation.

and its use often escalates a situation. In contemporary parlance, the gesture is called the bird and is paired with the verbs flip, flick, shoot, or give. The person who wrote that is... Greenlee. Yeah! Wow! I got a cheat code.

You know this. All right, wait. You know this secret? I have to know the... Don't tell these people. I know this. All right, wait. You know this secret? I have to know the password. Are you going to share the password? Don't tell these people. I'm not going to tell you yet. I'll tell you after you see I get every single one right.

Okay, all right. I love, you know, confidence before the fall. Oh, I hope I'm right. I want you to be right. Police found a green substance that looked to be avocado remains on the wall. Remains!

This is not a dead human being. This is not a dog picked up from the highway. That fucking detective is trying to correct his case. We luminoled the avocado and put it under a blacklight. The 56-year-old woman, that's Kim, was eating burger meat and avocado from a plastic container when police spoke with her.

By the way, a couple people said, no, that sounds delicious. Impossible meat and avocado, one higher. What are you, keto? That's like the lunch of a very dishonest vegan. It's sofrito. It's sofrito. It was not specified if the container was a common bowl or Tupperware.

The household item popularized through Tupperware parties in the 1950s and invented by Earl Silas Tupper. Who wanted you to know about Tupperware? Dan. Dan? Dan. Dan? Dan. I'm going to go Dan.

Okay. It's very close. He said he doesn't even know if it's a bowl or a Tupperware. Tupper's not even in the story necessarily. Oh, you mean like the time he wrote the lyrics to the thong song? Yeah, all like two verses and then the chorus? Yeah. Who did it? Who do you think, Rhett?

I said Dan. You said Dan. Jay? I think that's Greenlee. Not to be contrarian, but I think that is Greenlee as well. Grant? Did you say? Yeah, I said Greenlee. Okay. The person who wanted you to know about Tupperware containers.

I've never wanted anything more in my life to be right right now. Is me. Yeah! You cracked the code. Michael's got it. Michael is so on to something right now.

Yeah, he knows. And by the way, Aparna too. No, we got the first one wrong though. We got the first one wrong, but now you know. Okay. I figured it out. You cracked the code. I'm Nicolas Cage.

This is like the DeGreenlee code. Kim said that she prepared sliced avocado and told her roommate Kelly not to eat it all. Kim said she threw an avocado at the wall behind Kelly. An avocado plays a small role in the history of the rock band Led Zeppelin. A poster of a large avocado with

two eyes was used in advertising concerts by the band in April 1969 at the storied Fillmore West and Winter Ballroom venues in San Francisco, California. Who wrote that? Me or Greenlee? You guys aren't playing yet.

But you're feeling it. I feel like you're feeling it over here. Rhett, who do you think? I was going to say I wanted to wait until Michael guessed, but that'd be cheating. So I'm going to say that's Dan again. Okay. I also feel like it's Dan.

It's Dan, definitely. Ah, man, you are so confident. Yeah. All right, fine, that's Dan. No, it's Greenlee. What? It's Greenlee. Oh, no.

Because Dan would have to know about that Led Zeppelin album. And there's like too many details in the... Like, it's not just like two details. It's like four. And I think Dan... Have you ever Googled avocados? And let me... Now he's fucking with me.

Let me reiterate how much we don't know what's going on right now. You ever type the words random avocado facts into Google? I've been there, man. All right, where did you say random? Go with your gut, guys. I don't even know anymore. I don't know who I am anymore. I was going to say Greenlee, but yeah, I'll go with Greenlee.

Okay. I think it's Greenlee, too. I think it's Greenlee. An avocado plays a small role in the history of the rock band Led Zeppelin. A poster of a large avocado with two eyes was used in advertising concerts by the band in April 1969 at the storied Fillmore West and Winter Ballroom

venues in San Francisco, California. The person who wrote that is Greenlee. Oh! Wow! Wow! But, I will say

my theory, I still feel, holds true. Really? Okay. Well, I gotta hear the rest of the story. And I'll tell you. Alright, I wanna hear your theory, because this is great. Huh. This is my favorite sentence. Kim denied hitting Kelly.

That fights its way into every dumb people town. Someone said they didn't. I didn't hit her. The 56-year-old Kim was arrested on a charge of battery against the blank old Kelly. As a side game, would you like to guess how old Kelly is when you know that Kim is 56? 23.

How old is her roommate? Wow. Michael says 23. You are so confident. Now you're just confident about every decision. I know her. Oh. Oh. Anybody else?

Aparna, what do you think? I'll say 34. Still like an inappropriate age differential. But young enough to experience new things like avocado. I'm going to go 63. 63. It's like a Golden Girls situation. Jay?

45. 45. I'm going to go 71. Wow. Okay. Would two townies like to guess somewhere out there in the crowd? Right up here in the front with the glasses. What's your name?

Crystal. Hi, Crystal. Welcome to town. What's your guess? 32. 32. And. Welcome to town. What's your guess? 32. And right next to you. Let's just do it. Jade. 65. One of you is one

year off. Oh my god. Can I just say that I love that Jade and Crystal sat next to each other? That is kismet, everybody. They are. His name is Turquoise. You got Jade and Crystal next to each other. There's not a witch too far off.

Dan just wants to watch Hocus Pocus. I fucking love Hocus Pocus. Also, Rhett, I forgot to tell you, there's a not good callback, but I don't want to forget to say it. You're dead right about Champaign, Illinois. And I love Champaign, Illinois. Illini in, baby.

Okay, here we go. Kim is 56. But Kelly, the person we are guessing about, is, one of you is one year off. Kelly is 72 years old. What? Yes. Wow.

That's, yeah. That was good. I thought she was either really old or really young because that's the only people that would call the cops for an avocado. You're totally right. Either really young or really fucking old. You got old. That was great. You either think you're entitled to the

cops coming or you're too old for this shit. You're either a millennial or from the last millennium. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to read the end of this to you because it's fun. The 56-year-old Kim was arrested on a charge of battery

against the 72-year-old Kelly. Luckily, there's time to change as both roommates have a way to go before catching up to an avocado which has a life expectancy of 100 years. Who wanted you to know at the end of this that avocados have a life expectancy of 100 years? How are you defining life?

Depends on who wrote it. That is such a deep question. That's the end of the story? Yeah, that's the final sentence. Then I was definitely green. Okay. Anybody else? I think greenly too.

Okay. Just that line? Yes. I'll say greenly. Okay. I think it's Dan. I think that's Dan. I just think...

I always like when you whisper it. The quieter I get, the less sure of my answer I am. But there is no way an avocado has a life expectancy of a hundred years. I've had avocados go bad from the time I took them home

from Trader Joe's. And Randy looks like he works at Trader Joe's. I have to go back and stock the shelves. Those Joe's aren't going to stock themselves. You want to dress

like you lost your luggage. I did. You look like you just auditioned for summer rental. Look like I just auditioned and didn't get the new Magnum PI. Yeah. You did in my heart. All right. Okay, what did you say?

I said that was Dan. I know. I was hoping you'd whisper it again, like you're at the end of Indiana Jones trying to choose a cup. I said Dan. Like he was trying to put a sack of rocks on something and pull it away. Luckily, there's time to change

as both roommates have a ways to go before catching up to an avocado which has a life expectancy of 100 years. We will end the show, the story, and I'm sure we'll say goodbye afterwards, but I first have to tell all of you that the person who wrote that

is Meek. Yeah! have to tell all of you that the person who wrote that is me. Yeah, baby. We were right. Okay, okay, okay. Before we go, I want to hear what Michael Che's cheat code was. What were you thinking?

First of all, my cheat code is wrong. Okay. But my thinking was the first two things that he wrote, he thought he was helping the story. Right. The couch shit did not progress the story at all. Right. But then the other things that he got right did kind of... He thought he was...

He writes for really stupid people. Okay. That's what you think it is. That's what I think he's doing. He's writing for who he thinks is reading That's what I think he's doing. He's like writing for who he thinks is reading and he thinks that he's like insulting the intelligence of his audience. That's what it felt like.

I'll email some of his stories and you'll be like, there's no fucking way this is real. Okay, but I was wrong. He is crazy. By the way, that is a theory. The theory is either he's got 1,500 words and he only has 900 words a story and he has to make up the thing.

Or he thinks that the people that he's writing for are... He thinks the people he's writing for are the people who are in the story. Right. The world is so dumb that I need to write for these people. Guys, one time he explained what pants were. But, like, he did the Led Zeppelin thing and then I was like,

oh, this nigga's just writing about avocados. The story you think is about the crime, nope, it's a cute little anecdote about avocados. But I was wrong. Fuck, you, goddamn, you pretty good. He gets in your head. He gets in your head. Trick me.

Like everything in Dumb People Town, it escalated quickly. So quickly. Maybe he's writing for people who just woke up from a coma. A cell phone. They need to be reintroduced to everything in the world. He is explaining to aliens who have just landed here. The presidency used to be an office people respected.

There we go. There you go. There you go. Take it off. All right. Go ahead. What do you got? All right.

Before we get out of here, anything you guys want to promote? I know you're on a little. Yeah, do it. Any live shows coming up soon? Live show. Rhett, anything you got coming up? December 1 Hill Country Barbecue down in the basement. Doing my annual Christmas holiday extravaganza.

Where can people find your dates and stuff? I don't know. Internet. Great. Okay, good. The internet is a place. Okay, go ahead. This is this week?

This will come out in the next week or two. Okay, I guess October 26th I'll be in D.C. at the Benson Ball Nice That's a good one And people can find all your dates at ParnatComedy.com It's not updated regularly

But do it You were here last year She was great She was amazing last year And we can see this guy every Saturday night. A fucking great job he does. Anything else? I'm sorry.

I did that dumb thing where I wave at a podcast. That's all right. A podcast is only something you can hear. A podcast is given to a comedian in the early days of their career. Some comedians who are established have gotten one. They take all the numbers. So good.

You can see all of our stuff at superscleros.com. He's DanielVanKirk.com. Yeah, go to DanielVanKirk.com. I'm on tour right now. You can get all your dates. We'll both see them. In November, I'll be in Louisville, Nashville, Cincinnati, Milwaukee. I'm ending my tour in my hometown of Rochelle, Illinois

on November 15th, which is also the day my first album drops. It's called Thanks, Diane. You are the first people I've ever told that to. That's great. And if you are in this room, you can see me on tour on Thursday, October 24th at the Creek in the Cave. I'll be back here in New York City doing my hour.

Thank you, Aparna. Thank you, Michael Che. We're the Sklar Brothers. He's Daniel Van Kirk. Rhett Miller, take us home, buddy. Take us home. And by the way, thank you to all of you guys for coming out here. We'll be out there.

We'll be out there. We got merch. We're going to say hi to you. We got a little bit of merch. We'll see you right afterwards. Thank you guys so much. You're be out there. We got merch. We're going to say hi to you. We got a little bit of merch. We'll see you right afterwards. Thank you guys so much. You're the fucking best. Rhett Miller. I got a time bomb

in my mind, mom. A head ticking, but I don't know why. I call the police, but they don't like me. I hear them whispering when I walk by I got a landmine in my bloodline I'm not immune to getting blown apart she's like a claymore that's what she's there for she's way around here to get blown apart Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Having her on my brain's like getting hit by a train She's gonna kill me Oh, Celeste Oh, Celeste Oh, Celeste Oh, Celeste, oh, Celeste. I got a time bomb in my mind, Mom. It's going to go off, but I don't know when.

I need a doctor to extract her. I've got a feeling she get right back in again oh I've got a time bomb in my mind mom I've got it badly for a stick-legged girl she's gonna kill me and I don't mean softly I got it badly for a stick-like girl Having her on my brains like it's hit by a train She's gonna kill me Oh, Celeste Oh, Celeste

Oh, Celeste Oh, oh, Schlecht Oh, Schlecht Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah All right, Matt Miller. Oh, shit, we gotta get back to work. Thank you, guys. Good night, everybody. Thank you. Oh shit. We got to get back to work. Thank you guys. Thank you.

Everybody. Thank you. Enjoy it. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,

dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,

dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,

dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,

dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,

dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Tugger down. It's Dumb People Town.