Dumb People Town - Baron Vaughn - Crying Peanut

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

This week Baron Vaughn comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story involves everyone's favorite cocktail...molotov! The second story is a cautionary tale about who you should throw a birthday party for. The final story is a classical fell-through-the-ceiling.

Skypains Avenue Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Vaughn.on vaughn welcome to the show that is a fantastic intro i am so happy to be here we sing it like we're all three richard simmons's baron vaughn do you guys remember like 10 years ago at earwolf studios when uh someone did a magic trick for all four of us, and you guys ran around the room. Oh, yeah. And Baron was like, yep, that was pretty good.

That was a great trick. Yeah, Baron was calm about it, and we just like ran like I was doing laps somewhere. Yeah, I mean, that's what I do. I don't remember why someone was doing magic in the Earwolf Studios. That was in the early, early days. We don't get to see much, but I don't see magic. I don't see a lot of up-close magic. I don't see a lot of up-close magic. Really?

Not a lot of up-close magic. That's true. It's kind of like one of those art forms that people don't get to experience that much. Where you're like, oh, you're right here. Yeah. And the fact that when they happen so fast, you think you can see what's going on. You think you can see. You think you can see.

Your eye mistakes what is there that's what i you know what i actually believe that that is that that turning of the trick is the same thing in terms of stand-up it's like when i see you do stand-up or dan or when we do it on stage it's like you rub the sticks together a spark comes up and something happens that the normal person can't see that it happens, but you're into a show. It's into a thing. And it's like it's almost a sleight of hand. You push the buttons.

Sleight of hand. Well, I wish we were in the same room, but you're far away from us, and I'm just happy that you're with us. And with us. But the world is dumber. Has it not gotten dumber in the pandy in the last several years? I think it's gotten way dumber, like exponentially dumber. Yes. You know, dumber and crazy.

There's a fine line. Yeah. Right? They're next to each other on the cul-de-sac. Which is perfect for the first story because we have both of those. Dumb and crazy? Yes. Well, I love that you brought that up.

Well, let's jump into a story. Yeah, let's do it. And Vaughn and them will find out all the great things that he's doing and where you can see him. How you can support him, how you can follow him. Consume the many projects he's a part of. This was sent in by Megan Laskowski at Soymates4EVA. And the number four, E-V-A. Soymates4EVA.

Okay? Not soulmates. Right. Soymates. This comes from the TC Palm, which means it was written by Will Greenlee, but it is not a Greenlee. He's not doing any of his flourish. There's a guy, Barron, who writes these articles and adds so much more extra information than

you would never need, like over-explains things, but this is just straight up dumb stuff in Florida. Okay. Headline is, Molotov cocktail attack in Fort Pierce. That's just a thing it's an attack with maltoff cocktails how mad are you at somebody that you're like i'm going to make a maltoff i'm gonna i'm gonna light something on fire in my hand and throw it at somebody yes didn't everybody see bronx tail that never works out as as the police i'd be too worried yeah oh my god yeah

oh thanks partner as the police investigation investigation of an apparent Molotov cocktail attack at a home continues at a home yes

this isn't even like I'm disgruntled I'm coming back to the office neighbors on Thursday remarked about the incident but did not seem overly concerned and that's what

this story is about that is Florida that the neighbors are like hey if a molotov cocktail incident happened in your new neighborhood sure and you'd be like that's all i'm talking about the entire time i'm living here oh yeah yeah absolutely someone took the time to collect all of the alcohol around them yeah and throw it at you i light it on fire yeah light it on fire they gave up a good rag i think i think a molotov cocktail is like a baked alaska gone wrong sure yes this story more fire this story though is a it is about the neighbors who weren't concerned right because they are wild cards every single one of them.

Yeah. Fort Pierce police on Monday asked for help in identifying a man accused of throwing two Molotov cocktails at a home. Two? Two? Two rags, Dan. Two rags. Yeah.

He threw Molotov cocktails, two of them, at a home on Sunday, igniting a fire but causing minimal damage. Is that even worse? So he's like- You got all that trouble, you don't even do anything? You don't throw a Molotov cocktail at a brick house, minimal damage. Is that even worse? So he's like, wow. You got all that trouble. You don't even do anything. You don't throw a Molotov cocktail at a brick house. I'll tell you that.

That's a good Jim Crouchy song. You don't throw two Molotov cocktails at a brick house and you don't mess around with Jim. Pretty damn good. Pretty damn good. Pretty damn good. Proud of both of you. Proud of all of us. Forget Broadway.

I am so happy I'm on this show. But how, like, what does it say? What do you do? Make a goddamn Molotov cocktail. You're going to go throw that at Jim's house? You're goddamn right I am. You want me to make two? You're not even going to see me couple.

Like, again. And then you go and do it. And then nothing happens. No damage. You want me to make two? They're not even going to see me come. Like, again. And then you go and do it. And then nothing happens. And you cause almost no damage. You fail. It's such buildup. It's like the whip guy in Indiana Jones. Like, all this flurry.

And then he gets shot. Yeah. Or the knife guy. It's the knife guy. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's what it was. But here's my thing. There was a store on Beverly.

I don't know if you guys remember this. It was a tire shop. I don't think it's there anymore. Probably money laundering. No, it was a tire shop on Gard store on Beverly. I don't know if you guys remember this. It was a tire shop. I don't think it's there anymore. Probably money laundering. No, it was a tire shop on Gardner and Beverly on the north. I do remember it. Northwest side of the street. And they had a rotating tire up on top of the sign, two tires.

And they used regular size tires. They didn't use oversized, giant prop tires. The regular tires were too small. You could tell that they're like, well, just put two tires up there and rotate. They're too high up. They need to be bigger. You miscalculated.

It's on display. We're all watching your miscalculation every time we drive by. If Randy's donut used a regular size glazed donut. It's not right. Your miscalculation. Every time we drive by. If Randy's donut used a regular size glazed donut. It's not right. So your miscalculation is now on full display. That's what happened to this guy. Yes.

He miscalculated. I also think this person forgot to work on their arm. Yeah, that's true. Could be that too. You got to hit the pitching cage a little bit. You got to get that muscle in shape. You got to make sure your stance gotta make sure you're throwing out a first pitch dan no have you ever thrown out a first pitch at a game that sounds like one of

my many nightmares i have never that's an anxiety nightmare and a half for me that's a dream first pitch and then hit somebody's grandmother right dude i love it left and it hit carly ray jepson uh no it for us like we've thrown we've thrown out first pitches and like farther than you think and it's scarier than you think there's like because you're gonna put it in the dirt right yeah they want to throw high always throw high because the catcher can always stand up and get it anyway those are professionals that right that right right guys we're not. We're not. Police say this took place at about 1140 a.m. on a Sunday. This is church time.

A.m. On a Sunday. On a Sunday. The Lord's Day. They went to the scene at the 1200 block of Avenue L. Video released by police shows a person run up, throw the firebomb at or in a window, and it burst into flames. A second Molotov cocktail hit the roof,

rolled off, hit the ground, and then ignited. Oh my God. But neither of these caused very much damage at all. Why, they just threw a blanket on each thing? A man at the purple single-story home declined comment Thursday, but neighbors stepped in to share their thoughts, which is always, you're in Florida, get the cul-de-sac over here.

Get everybody over here. What do you think happened, lady who hasn't left her house in 12 years? Josh Fisher, a neighbor, said, quote, I haven't lost any sleep at night. It'll be all right. Whatever they got going on, they got going on. Hey, Josh, we weren't talking about you. Wow.

We want to know what you thought. Hey, Josh, we're not talking about COVID. Right. Tell us what you think about what just happened What do you What do you have going on That you don't even want to get You don't even want to comment on somebody else's

Molotov cocktails Whatever they got going on Again Baron, this would be the biggest news It'd be like I can't believe this happened In our neighborhood This is crazy town I'm not losing sleep over it josh fisher said he came outside and police asked whether he'd seen anything but he

said he had not okay quote so this is his quote so quote somebody did something to anger somebody i got shot twice that stuff just kind of happens you know this is not whatever i applaud that person i got shot twice i just kind of know that stuff happens this is the perfect street to be throwing molotov cocktails because no one cares what do you live where do you live on minimize lane avenue i guess this is the neighborhood where a molotov cocktail is equal to a good old-fashioned fist fight. That's the bar. Right. So he knocked over her garbage can.

Who hasn't had that happen to them? I clipped a few roses through a Molotov cocktail. What? It's a Sunday. It's the same thing. Sunday at 11.40 a.m. It's what we do on this street. He said, quote, I feel like it couldn't happen any other way, moving out here from Chicago.

So it's all right. Wait, it's not all right? And it could have happened a million other ways. All roads don't lead to two Molotov cocktails, one off the roof and one through a window. And the house is purple.

They didn't pass over. The house is purple. Who owns the house? it's prince's nephew it is it's crazy guys there's wire this thing that's never this thing that's never that's never happened to anyway this thing that's never happened anywhere is just this is inevitable i mean i guess if you have been shot twice you're like cocktails molotov cocktails i've been shot twice i just moved here. It's amateur hour. Just for fun, how old do you guys want to guess Josh Fisher is?

The guy who commented that this doesn't matter. He said, whatever they got going on, they got going on. I haven't lost any sleep. He hadn't seen anything. I've been shot twice. Somebody did something to somebody. 52? Jay?

38. 38? 64. Josh Fisher, before we meet our next neighbor, is 34 years old. Oh! I said 38. Then, okay, here we go. Next guy. Another neighbor, just on name alone, we can tell you what he sells at the flea market.

Let's talk about it. Randy Luzar. Luzar. L-U-Z-A-R. Luzar. But he goes, it's Luzar. It's Luzar. Loser. L-U-Z-A-R. Loser. But he goes, it's Luzar. It's Luzar. What do you sell?

I sell leather scented candles. You got a problem with that? I sell the blankets that other people use at this flea market. How do they get them? I have them. He said, I was like, wow, nothing ever that big happened on our street since I've been here, Randy Luzar said. Oh, my goodness.

And then his wife patted him on the shoulder for putting together a sentence. Luzar said he's lived in the area about two years. You've only been there two years. It's not like you've been here 47 years. You can't say ever since I've been here. Back in the good old days. When? 2020? Right. So this is a person who moved to that neighborhood thinking they were going to be the mayor of that neighborhood

that's right yeah they're trying to establish it in the press right let me do this through my comments all my in all my time in this neighborhood you moved here in 2020 well since the beginning he was home at the time quote from randy loser i'm i must have had my headphones on or something i didn't hear anything until i came out he said he started asking around and was told someone threw a maltoff cocktail him him going around the neighborhood what happened i had headphones in no headphones take off your headphones now so i can tell you. They're still on.

He's talking too loud. I was listening to vintage Quincy Jones. You're welcome to come in. Anytime. Okay, Randy. Okay, Randy. I've got some Hendrix 45s. You're all welcome.

Anytime. Randy's house. And they're like foam, like that orange foam headphones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're definitely not AirPods. You guys ever play Hi-Li? He's listening to Beck. I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?

I am. I'm a loser. That song's about me. So I even paired a door. I'm Randy Loser, baby. I know. Randy Loser. Oh, that song must have been torture for him when that came out.

Yeah, it was terrible. Rough time for him. Randy Loser said this is what he left the reporter with before walking away. Quote, a lot goes on on this street unmentioned. A lot goes on on this street unmentioned. Back-to-back on-ons. A lot goes on on this street on metropicity on on back to back on on that goes on on this street unmentioned so to me like whoever i've greenly did go to report on the story he's like i'm gonna go and these people are gonna be like this is the craziest thing i've ever seen in my entire life

and then they show up and it's like nope nope none of us care this is how this works nothing compared to the guy who has a sex dungeon two doors now. What? Right. I still think he's trying to establish himself as the mayor. Like, and I'll keep your secrets. Right, guys. Let you know in the press, it goes unmentioned.

Randy's house. Randy Lazar. You're all welcome. You tell people I gave you that coupon for a free skillet queso at Chili's. You tell people. And then he mimes zipping his mouth and throwing away a key. Police spokesman Curtis Jennings said investigators are, quote, still trying to turn over every stone, which is an odd way to put that

because you turn over. We're turning over every stone. He goes, we're trying to turn over every stone. We can't. Look, we're a police department. Have you talked to these neighbors? I know. They don't even care.

Isn't it leaving no stone unturned? Yes. A lot of things happen on this thing, unmentioned. Don't mention that. Don't mention that. It's turning over a new leaf, and it's leaving no stones unturned. All cases, Jennings said, are taken seriously, but this one is especially brazen, happening in broad daylight.

I love that that offends him even more. according to a report people at the scene quote advised they had no beef with anyone and they had no idea who the male could have been they're all locked up this is like yeah don't disrupt our peaceful neighborhood where molotov cocktails like a thin blue line jennings implored those with information to come forward someone out there and our public knows this person, Jennings said. All it takes is one phone call. I'll get out of here with this. How old do you think Randy

Loser is? Randy Loser. How old is he? L-U-Z-A-R. Moved to the neighborhood two years ago. Like Barron said, trying to be the mayor of this hood. A lot of unmentioned issues. A lot of stuff goes unmentioned on these streets. By design. He had his headphones in.

He didn't hear it. The orange headphones. The phone. Yeah. That's what I'm imagining. That's our spin on it. What do you say, Baron? Ooh.

46. 46. I was feeling that higher age thing. I'm going to say 58. 58? I think he's 38. 38? Yeah. Okay. We'm going to say 58. 58? I think he's 38. 38? Yeah.

Okay, we're going to have a story one here because Randy Loser, or Lazar. Lazar. Is 64 years old. Oh! Old man. The mayor. He wants to be the mayor. He wants to be the mayor.

My headphones were on. He's running for office. He's running for alderman. Alderman. Yes. Street alderman. He either has those headphones. He's running for alderman. Street alderman. He either has those headphones. I used to be a deacon. He either has the headphones

that have an antenna that are like it's the radio in the headphones and it's a radio. How many times has he yelled at his wife? I'm getting the game right now, guys. How many times has Randy Loser yelled at his wife? No, my other hat. My hat hat.

My going out hat. I don't know which one you're talking about. My hat hat. I thought this was the hat. I love it. That's story number one. Oh, God. Baron Vaughn is with us.

I'm so happy. It's Dumb People Town. We're going to find out what he's got going on, how you can support him, and all the stuff we're doing on the other side of the spring. Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town.

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Before we get into how you can support and follow Baron Vaughn. Which you better. Which you goddamn right better. Daniel Van Kirk has- Just came back from his... Yeah, we're recording it ahead of time,

but I'm sure it was insanely wild hosting the Red Bull Soapbox races. So I thank everybody who came out to Des Moines for that. Go to Daniel Van Kirk to look for all my dates. And as you've heard me say, I want townies and even people from my pen pal-ers to come be involved. I start out the show. I welcome everybody in. And then if you've got a Dumb People Town headline,

I'd love to hear it. We'll say a little hello to each other back and forth, and then we'll get the show going. So grab tickets for that and be a little bit a part of the show. DanielVanKirk.com. And then for us, you can join our Patreon. We're doing new episodes of Cheap Seats, Cheaper Seats, all to wet the whistle as we do

our brand new show, The Nosebleeds, which will be our new UFC Fight Pass. It is so... We love these episodes so much. Six glorious episodes of the show. It's going to be out. We're getting it out there to the world, and we are going to need you guys once they drop to watch them, tell everyone that you enjoy them, and that's the way

it goes. You get it on UFC Fight Pass. So check all that out. Superscrollers.com is our website. Barron, where can people see you? New season of MST3K. All that good stuff. All the stuff. Baron, where can people see you? New season of MST3K. All that good stuff. All the stuff. Yes. Well, thank you very much for mentioning that, Randy.

Yes, there is the new season of MST3K that is out on a new streaming platform. Let's hear it. Its own streaming platform called the Gizmoplex. Yes. Love it. So dope. Without the echo.

Gizmoplelex. Yes. Love it. So dope. Without the echo. The gizmo plex. Dot com. And then also there is the, the final season of grace and Frankie dropped on Netflix. And yeah, it's the end. What a great run. What a great run.

Six. Yeah. Six seasons. Seven. Seven seasons. Wow, man. Good for you man wonderful seven seasons and opportunity years of my life eight years of your life and a chance to

work with like comedy gold and just you know like oh absolutely and then the kind of to learn and watch like really tomlin and you know jane fonda go at it and see how they craft their stuff and like the rhythm that they have with each other that is real rhythm. That's what I was actually just thinking watching the three of you before. The damn rhythm the three of you have together, it's like listening to music a little bit for me. It's like comedy music right here. So that's what it's – watching you guys have your chemistry,

it's like that same thing but their version of it. Just learning from it. So you're in scenes with these guys and did you see – it's like that same thing, but their version of it. Just learning from it. So you're in scenes with these guys and watching them do their thing. And did you see like, was there a thing that either of them did? I just remember, and I'm thinking about it this week because as we're recording this, this is a week that very sadly Ray Liotta passed away and Jay and I got a chance to work with him on Wild Hogs. This dude was the best ever I've ever seen on any set that we've ever done

at taking whatever was going on in his, whatever's going on off the set or whatever's happening, he brought it into the scene. I've never seen anyone do that. So like Peter Fonda, speaking of Fonda, Peter Fonda was in the movie with us and the dude shows up and he doesn't know his lines and meanwhile Ray Liotta's

got to confront him and Ray Liotta is so pissed that this guy's like not standing on his mark and not going and doesn't know his lines and comes back after lunch from whatever he took or drank at lunch. In the middle of the scene he lifted him off the ground, moved him to his spot and was like, stand here

old man and he like just used all this like, all the anger man, and he just used all this, all the anger that you could tell he was having at Peter Fonda for not being professional enough to show up and care about the thing. He put it into the take and it was the best take ever. I'm like, this guy, so anyway, we gleaned that from him. I'm wondering if there was any of that

that you gleaned from these guys. What an incredible story. Yeah, I mean it's just like watching them be so damn real and like really work really hard on it to understand the scene or understand the character or understand the emotion in this place where they're not thinking about it anymore sure you know what i mean the best and just watch them just watch them like work it hard when they're like not filming you know because they were like especially jane and

lily like there's a lot for them to do you know what i mean there's a lot for them to do on this show and they really like shot it in a way where and wrote it in a way where they're together a lot so like them having their real chemistry and like you know i would assume like it was a little bit like that but what but most of the time it's like them trying to be in the state of comfort and the thing that i loved the most about being on this set with these people from this generation with martin sheen and sam and sam waterston as well yeah they were on sets before cell phones yeah so it's like in between takes they actually just kind of talk to each other yeah yeah i know it sounds cheesy but it's like as simple as like not watching like you know i came up on sets where cell phones were regular so there's always like

the moment to take away sure you'll look at the cell phone they kind of go to their whole trailer for privacy for that but when they're on set they either are trying to talk to each other or work on the scenes. And both of those things are the same thing in a way. Yes, because you're talking about the chemistry of like actually literally understanding the way they communicate to each other when they're not doing the scene. Absolutely. And then bringing that in. And bringing that natural rhythm into the thing. And it's like that's one of the biggest things that I witnessed happen all of the time.

Great. It's so cool. And then on like the other end of the spectrum, the craziness that is Mystery Science Theater of commenting hilarious and crazy shit, again it's like there is mystery science theater we owe a debt of gratitude to them for you know for our show cheap seats and now the nose weeds were forever linked with those guys and what they do but you and jonah and hampton it's like you guys are our favorites and so the three of you guys being just super silly and as funny as you can be sniping just out of just jokes per minute.

Then it's so fun to watch. It's like another skill, you know, from what you described. And just like you say, it's like mystery science theater 3000 is something that has been so present in comedy culture for as long of us as all of us have been around. I mean,

and it's influenced so many generations so it's like bringing it back it's kind of like watching it influence other people that influence other people that don't even know that they're already in the lineage yes dude to be a part of it for you to be a part of it to be in that now you're part of that history of that show is that has to feel amazing because it was yeah it's it's fantastic but it's also a lot of pressure i know it is at first but you guys established your own thing i feel like yeah absolutely you know what i mean and there's a lot of people who were nervous you know suffice it to say mostly us you know about bringing it back but we felt like really confident with what we did, you know, and what we made because we're making the show.

And having Joel's guidance is a whole different, you know, that's the thing that really put people over. It's like, oh, we're not just like doing it ourselves. We're not, you know, we're like literally linked to the lineage. Yeah. That put a lot of it together. yeah link to the original to the it's the only show i've ever seen that's had cast changes and that and it just is a it's the same thing but it's a different version and i just think it's every incarnation has been amazing and i love mike nelson i love you know uh bill corbett i love those guys and you know of course the three of you guys are like again friends of ours who we

sort of come up with so i just i love that show so much i'm so excited a new season how many episodes total 10 12 i actually have absolutely no idea uh but also i wanted to shout out to kevin murphy the yes servo and uh j elvis weinstein oh yeah as well yeah amazing yes love those dudes all right let's jump into another story, shall we? Let's do it. Sent in by Joseph Gaccione. Gaccione. Right?

Hey, Gaccione. G-A-C-C-I-O-N-E. That's the game you play with Italians when they try and grab your nose. Gaccione. At Ancient Wisdom, D-U-M-B. There you go. Kentucky Man, this is the headline, sues employer over birthday party. A Kentucky man took his employer to court after they threw him a birthday party he didn't want.

And I'm telling you right now, he is not the dumb person in this story. I actually heard this story. I actually heard this one. Let's get into the details. So it was a birthday party he didn't want. And a lot of people are like, just don't throw me. I don't want to be reminded how old I am. That's like when someone doesn't ask you and they give you a puppy for a gift.

He is 100% 100% not the dumb person in this story for suing them. The plaintiff, an employee of Gravity Diagnostics, sued his employer after the fallout of a birthday party they threw for him in August. I have an August birthday.

I get it. Yeah. According to court documents, the employee had notified the office manager that birthday parties trigger his anxiety disorder and that, quote, being the center of attention will cause him to have a panic attack. Yeah. He doesn't want it. He doesn't want it.

He's out in front of this. He's saying, hey hey this is my story right my day my birthday you know what you know you can do for me nothing give me a massage just leave me alone get me a gift certificate by anybody right right right i don't want to be the center of attention fair fair warning about that as well yes the employee asked the man the office manager days before his birthday in August to not arrange a birthday celebration as they did for other employees. So the manager hears this, then turns around and says to everybody, he wants it. Right.

He wants it. Yeah. I mean, he's saying this, but. Don't listen to fake Jake. He wants that. You know what I mean? Yep. He wants that.

You know what I mean? Yep. Then, on August 7th, two days after my birthday, or more importantly, four months and five days before the Sklar's birthday. Three days after my daughter's birthday. There you go. On August 7th, the employee's birthday, the office arranged for a lunchtime birthday party in the lunchroom for him. He doesn't want it.

He does not want it. He said no. Days ahead of it. It's not like he got up that day like, hey, we're having a birthday party for today. And he goes, oh, you know what? Can we not? He said it well in advance before anybody went and bought a goddamn sheet cake. Here's what I don't want.

I don't want everything. Dan, that is literally like someone saying, I am allergic to peanuts. And then them saying, here's a peanut butter sandwich. Eat it. We made it for you. And you have to eat it. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Those things that you just saying, here's a peanut butter sandwich. Right. Eat it. We made it for you. And you have to eat it. Oh, I forgot to tell you.

Those things that you just ate, there's peanuts in them. I was on a plane once before Southwest got rid of peanuts. And it was still in that window of like they would have to not serve them if someone had a peanut allergy. And these people who were being problematic, they eventually said, we have peanut allergies. And so then the flight attendant, I did a whole Twitter thread about so then the flight attendant i did a whole twitter thread about this the flight attendant who had a gorgeous ponytail he grabs the mic up martial arts expert the pa up front and he goes well i guess we can't have any fun today because we're not having peanuts because two people say they're allergic and i was like i don't think you

can say that i don't think they he can say it, but they were... He doubled them out. They were assholes. So I think he felt like they were lying. Yeah, they probably were saying that just to get him... You're saying they cried peanut. Yes. You can't cry peanut if you're an asshole.

The employee... Now it's his birthday. It's August 7th. He told these people, these a-holes, well in advance, I do not want to do a party. He said that he found out about the party as he was headed to his lunch break to go do his own thing, which triggered a panic attack, which he told you it would do because he does it. It gives him anxiety. There you go.

They want to see him have a panic attack. The incident caused the employee to, quote, leave the office suddenly and spend his lunch break in his car. The incident caused the employee to, quote, leave the office suddenly and spend his lunch break in his car. The employee sent a text message to the office manager asking why she failed to accommodate his request to not have a party. He's right. Because Deb doesn't give a shit. That's right. She makes it about her.

She doesn't believe it. She's like, she tells depressed people, get over it. Get over it. Walk it off. Turn that frown upside down. Why are you so sad? The next day, the employee was called into a meeting in which he said he was, quote, confronted and criticized by the office manager about his reaction to the birthday party. Oh, you mean the one I didn't want? So now you're going to give him more attention by singling him out.

Well, you shouldn't have been born if you didn't want to have a birthday party. It's like, hey, we can't stop the birthday party from happening. Yeah, you can. Oh, you don't want to celebrate anything? Okay. You don't have been born if you didn't want to have a birthday party. It's like, hey, we can't stop the birthday party from happening. Yeah, you can. Oh, you don't want to celebrate anything? Okay. You don't like celebrations? Dan, it's like the guy who grabbed the microphone, the ponytail, the martial artist slash Southwest.

He's like, oh, I guess we can't have fun at the office because of Jim over here. Right. Do you celebrate your birthday, Baron? Are you a birthday celebrator kind of what do you like what is a good birthday for you yeah like give me a perfect baron von birthday i mean honestly i like things to be really chill you know i like um i like a simple meal and a slow day that's what i like right i think in the future i'm going to experiment with like like trips yeah do it yes that's what i'm thinking but the key is it's your call right I think in the future I'm going to experiment with trips. Yeah. Do it.

That's what I'm thinking. But the key is it's your call, right? At your pace. It's your terms. At your pace, your term, your calls. No one else gets to be like, hey, Baron, it's your birthday. We did all this for you. You're going to go bowling.

You're going to go skydiving. You're going to do bungee jumping. You're like, yeah, but I'm afraid of heights. Well, it's your birthday. I didn't realize you hate people. I already paid for it. Yeah. I didn't realize you hate friends. I already paid for it. Yeah. I didn't realize you hate friends.

We already scheduled it. Okay. There are sometimes you do run into people who can't fathom why you don't love the thing they love. They love. They're like, what do you mean you don't like Outdoor Music Festival in August? What do you mean you don't like Rottweilers? Right. But they are great dogs.

They are. So then he says, here's what happened. He gets criticized, right? Wow. And confronted by the office manager. Yeah. That meeting then triggered another panic attack. Of course.

Jeez. And the employee asked the office manager to stop. So they're also being like, hey, can we stop this thing? Because you're just yelling at me for not wanting a birthday party. I told you I didn't want to have that you threw anyway. Right. So can we just stop that? Wow.

It's got personal. Quick. The employee was then sent home for the next two days. Let's make it more of a deal. And that weekend, he was notified that he was fired over the weekend because of the events of the previous week. Wow. Three strikes. He is not the dumb person in this story.

I cannot believe. I mean, run the diagnostics on this thing here. The employee sued Gravity Diagnostics on the grounds of disability discrimination and retaliation. Don't say that's heavy stuff. They don't know the gravity of this situation. According to the lawsuit, the employee said because Gravity Diagnostics didn't accommodate his anxiety disorder, the birthday party and the events afterward caused him to suffer a loss of income and benefits and emotional distress and mental anxiety, which he told you I'm trying to avoid. He's right.

It's not like this happened and then he's like, oh, this made me feel this way, so I'm mad at you. Which could still have validity. I'm not saying it couldn't. He forewarned it. Yes. He explained. He tried to avoid this. He prognosticated.

The jury sided with the employee. Of course they did. Gravity diagnostics violated Kentucky law. Didn't see that coming. That protects workers who have a disability from adverse employment actions. Wow. We'll get out of here on this. How much did he win in the case?

In total, the jury awarded the employee how much in damages? Baron? What city in Kentucky was this? I don't know that it says. Is it Louisville? Is it Lexington? I don't know that it says. It doesn't say.

Those are the only two places in Kentucky I know. What's the name of the diagnostic? Gravity Diagnostics. Gravity Diagnostics. Oh, don't worry about it. I'm going to say, hmm, ooh, $250,000. Whoa. $250,000.

That's legit. God, and it's kind of right. He does deserve it. Ram, what do you think? It's in northern Kentucky. I know that. Jay? So probably, all right, I'm going to say.. Ram, what do you think? It's in northern Kentucky. I know that. Jay? So probably, all right, I'm going to say.

$250,000, you said, Barron? Yeah. I'm going to say $80,000. $80,000. Like a year's salary. Kenton County. Wait, I get to do mine. I know.

I think it is, I think he was awarded like $700,000. $700,000? Yeah, a lot of money. Wow, okay. $700,000. $700,000? Yeah, a lot of money. Wow, okay. This is traumatizing. Traumatizing. Looks like Kenton County is near the border of Ohio, so it's up north. It's Cincinnati, Louisville, that sort of area.

Gotcha. All right. The total money awarded to the Kentucky man who said, hey, don't throw me a birthday party. And they were like, screw you. We don't care how you feel about things. And he goes, well, that's not how things work. And then fired him.

Yeah, and then fired him. He was awarded $450,000. Wow! I'm going to go Barron. $250,000. Yeah, but you were closest. Of that amount, $300,000 was for emotional distress, while $150,000

was for lost wages. I'm just going to say that can buy a lot of birthday cake if he wants. If he wants to have a party, he could have a killer party now. He doesn't have to have it, Barry. Just for his guys. Don't give him a party. He doesn't want to celebrate. Dude, you could throw such a fun party.

Oh, my God. Think of how much fun he is. I won the lawsuit party is a very specific kind of party. That's the one thing he'll celebrate. That won't trigger him at all. Yeah. Because he's like, I won. On lawsuit day.

Lawsuit day. You know why? Because you know who's the focus of that? The Justice Department. They got it right. There you go. Story number two. Story number two.

Dan, give us a little taste of what we're getting in story number three. Oh, we fall through the ceiling. Fall through the ceiling. And I love every time we do. We're constantly falling through the ceiling. For Patreon fans, we're going to talk to Baron Vaughn if he's got a dumb story that either he did something dumb, we all do dumb things,

he witnessed something dumb or just something dumb happened nearby him in proximity. He's a parent, so I'm guessing like as a dad he's done some dumb stuff. We're going to talk about it. All of that's on the other side of the break.

It's Dumb People Town with the great Baron Vaughn. Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make a sound. For more Dumb People Town. All right, Daniel, take us home.

Okay. This was sent in by ThreeFourthsGeek at ThreeFourthsGeek. The three is the number. The fourth is the word. Great. And then it's geek,

E-E. Also, they sent this to me because they did it on Twitter, which is the way to do it, at DanielVanKirk, hashtag dumb people town. That's how I find these stories that you guys send in to me. And I've seen a lot of new names recently, and I love it.

I love it. Super cool. Okay. Inmate falls through ceiling trying to escape from jail. This takes place in Indiana. People are still trying to escape from jail, guys. Might have heard this, too. An inmate fell through the ceiling while trying to escape from a jail in Indiana. People are still trying to escape from jail, guys. I heard this, too. An inmate fell through the ceiling while trying to escape from a jail in Indiana.

Jackson County Sheriff Rick Meyer. That is such a cop name. Rick Meyer. It literally is because he's a Jackson County Sheriff. Rick Meyer. Rick Meyer. Sheriff Rick Meyer. Yep.

Posted on Facebook that a man by the last name of Ayers bolted from officers and locked himself in a medical room on Monday. This is a quick little dumb story. He tried to climb through the ceiling and get out of that room. When officers got into the room, Ayers had made his way into the ceiling. The sheriff says that Ayers eventually fell through the ceiling and onto

the floor of the jail's booking area. He literally went right back to where you start going into jail. Sir, we're going to need you to come here soon. There's a museum in St. Louis called the Children's Museum. It's a wild place. I thought it was the St. Louis Museum. Sorry, St. Louis Museum.

That's the one with all the levels and the crazy slides and everything. And there's areas where you climb into these tunnels, and then all of a sudden your kid's in kids like in the ceiling and you don't know where they are and there's like it is weird. I mean it is fun to just walk in. We said it's like a stress test for every marriage because like the second your kid goes up into the roof it's like why didn't you go in there with him? We don't

know where he is. I'm going to the bar that strangely serves alcohol next to all the other kids. You handle it honey. You wanted to come here. I can't fit into that thing. It's like, well, you also can't fit into your 34 pants anymore. So now it's like that fight. It's crazy.

That's up in the ceiling. This guy went up in the ceiling. I'm looking at the ceiling we're in right now. There's no way you wouldn't fall, right? Yeah, there's too much weight on each of these things. Yes. Do you have an exposed ceiling here just have a drop just a drop tile drop tile like to me i have no idea what that means

you know the little panels that you can push up oh yeah it's like every like cubicle office building kind of a ceiling you know right i'm assuming that's what this i'm assuming that's what they have at the courthouse, right? I would think so, too. Yeah. The idea that you would be able... Anyway, he refused to surrender, which I'd be like,

well, dude, you went back to booking. You've already surrendered. Once you fall through, you're done. You're done booking. Game over. So then they had to stun him with a stun gun, which, okay, right, okay,

which I'm fine with because if he's fighting and stuff like that. Dan, as he's falling through the ceiling, it should have made the noise that a video game makes when you die. Yeah, yeah, for sure. He was treated for minor injuries and charged with attempted escape and criminal mischief. I mean, it's the ultimate.

He gets up and he's like, where are you going, Ayers? You want to take a left? Do not go right. And then, of course, he thinks that's reverse psychology. Goes right, falls right back into bucket. And it would have been the best if he fell back down into a cell. you want to take a left do not go right and then of course he thinks that's reverse psychology so he goes right falls right back into bucket and then it would have been

the best if he fell back down into a cell into his own cell into his own cell hilarious full circle although so but if you have cells

with drop top ceilings you're just asking for people to go up yeah that's true that has to happen quick little story number three there you go

little something for you yeah Dumb People Town fans again can you mention what the new show is that you're shooting? You mentioned to our Patreon fans. Absolutely. The new show that I just shot up in Toronto, I think it's going to be out next year, is called Accused. It is a adaptation of a British show of the same name. It's going to be on Fox, I think.

Okay. Awesome. It's a drama. A drama. Do you get to be funny in it at all? Ironically, yes. In this episode, it's like an anthology series. Oh, nice.

So this episode was about comedians, and it was me and Whitney Cummings playing best friends at a comedy club, and this dramatic event happens. I'll leave that for the show. Don't say anything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. I love this.

Anthology series. This is fantastic. Well, look, man, you are a star. And Mary Lynn Rice was in it, too. Oh, nice. Oh, my God.

I love everybody in this thing. All right, so you are a star ascendant as always. All the stuff you do, we absolutely love. Baron Vaughn. Thank you for joining us in dumb people town. Stick around, make a sound, come here down, it's Dumb People Town.