Dumb People Town - Beth Lapides - I'm Not In Here And I'm Not Kevin

Episode Date: January 4, 2019

Comedian Beth Lapides joins the show to discuss the tale of an Airbnb "Super Host" who breaks into his guest house while it's being rented!

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Our man Dan Man, jerk, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits So listen to our podcast band with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk. Because when the music hits the funny hits, we are going to take you down. Stick around. Make a sound.

Talk your downies. Dumb People Town. Hey, townies. Welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Lapidus. Beth. Beth Lapidus. Population you. Population Lapidus. Beth. Beth Lapidus.

One of our favorite people in this glorious damn city. You are somebody that we have known for many, many years. Love so much. Someone who has encouraged us as artists to dig within ourselves. Be truthful on stage. Find your own truth and be confident that just go up and do what you do and you'll be funny. Yeah. I feel like that's the kernel that we drew from. The spirit of the Uncabaret.

The story of you. Truthful. A story of you. Truthful. And it will be funny. And if it's not funny, then at least you're being truthful. Yeah. You have at least that.

You at least have the thing. But if you go out and just try to be funny and there's nothing underneath it, then a little... Well, then you could swing and miss. There's never a swing and a miss if you're being honest. Isn't that the truth? It's the truth. You're always making contact. Well, I love... Oh, we're into sports. Not at all. I guess it's always a first baser. I mean, it's...

It's always at least... Wait a minute. Are you a correspondent for ESPN because you are using all the right terms? First baser. What is it? A single. A single.

A single. It's all about, but it is. The metaphor is making contact. Yeah, you make the contact. The swing and a miss is like I tried to do something that wasn't truthful and then whoop. But it is kind of funny because we were talking about last year, sort of a month ago, towards the end of this year, you guys had your quote-unquote 25th anniversary

of Uncabaret. And the reason why that show is still around, is still a staple of the alternative comedy scene and just the comedy scene in L.A., is because it's always been good. And it always is good.

You book great people. You know, I booked you. We were the first team. By the way, it took us a while to get there. Were we one of the first teams you ever booked? You're probably one of the only teams I've ever booked. So that was a huge honor. I don't think I've ever, because your work

is so conversational to begin with and, you know, when you say honesty and truthfulness, conversational and intimacy are two of those words. And you guys, I'm not saying you're intimate. I'm just saying you do have a real conversation with each other. With each other and then with the audience. And then with the audience.

It's so funny because when I think of, and I know you are constantly always adding because you do the show regularly, but adding new people. This gentleman sitting right here is one of the best truthful storytellers. His stand-up has like really emerged from a storytelling place. So I look forward to seeing Dan Van Kirk on the cabaret at some point. Okay. You know, that's one of the main ways that it grows is just people who are in bring people. Do this person. Do the people who you need to bring in.

And it's so funny because from the stage and from the back of the stage, you ask people kind of what they meant or what was going through their brains as something was happening. It almost was like podcasting pre-podcasting because an idea gets brought forth and you're then asking them those questions. And then the person probably answers your question and develops like two tags onto the bit that they didn't even realize. Oh, yeah. People are always like, oh, my God, that whole thing. I never even knew I had that. Right. Or now that's part of the bit.

I'm going to say this. One of the funniest things I ever heard was on one of the Uncabaret albums was Andy Kindler and I'm sure he never said it ever on a stage anywhere. He was talking about going to theater

and now that I have a 13-year-old daughter, okay, Beth, I have a 13-year-old daughter who's a theater nerd. That's crazy. So I have knee deep in musicals

and all that stuff and Andy Kindler is like, I always love that there's like a couple of people in every musical who can't sing. Right. And then he just was like, I don't have to sing that well because I'm the neighbor's wife. It made you laugh that hard in the thing.

But I just remember listening to it and I'm like, there's no way he ever came up with that ahead of time. But it is just brilliant. Right, Dan? Isn't that so gold? So specific. Well, I'm happy that you're here because I think the other thing that you do really well is you are very insightful into the way people, why people do the things they do. And really getting into what is motivating our decisions for what we do. Right.

And this show is an exploration into the dumb decisions that stupid people make. Oh, great. And we're trying to understand why they do what we do. And this show is an exploration into the dumb decisions that stupid people make. Oh, great. And we're trying to understand why they do what we do. Our fans send us great stories that happen real in the news. Dan breaks them down, and then we've never heard them, the three of us, and we're just going to try and figure it out. You ready to jump into it? Oh, that sounds so fun.

Yeah. Let's do it. Ready? This was sent in by Sierra M. at Zinja, Z-I-N-J-A. Is that Sierra Mist? Zero, eight, three, zero. Thank you. I bet that is Zira's birthday.

Right. Did I say Sierra? Yeah. I did, right? Yeah. Okay. I got the Zinja and the M threw me off. Zinja, isn't that like a symbol?

A Zinja? Yes, it is. It is. It is Zinja. Yeah. Oh. The J. Brendan would know.

If Brendan's not even paying attention. No, it's not a symbol. It's not a symbol. Zildjian. Zildjian. Zildjian, which is like one of the oldest companies in the world.

Zildjian to me sounds like the elf from Christmas that you never, like he's the one that's in the closet. Zildjian? Yeah, Zildjian.

Don't let Zildjian make the toys. He's going to stick a nail in it. I was going to say a did you know and I bailed on it. Like Zildjian is like

a bad guy in like a Jewish Hanukkah story. And then Zildjian decided to kill all the firstborn. Oh, Zildjian. A couple was forced to arm themselves with kitchen knives when their Airbnb super host broke into their rental in the middle of the night during what was supposed to be a relaxing getaway. The person who— We're all just trying to—

Somebody broke into their own house. Their own house while somebody else is there. The headline is couple says they had to arm themselves against Airbnb super host, which makes it sound like they're fighting like a villain. Yes. He was just a host. I am a super host. He was just a host. I am a superhost. He was just a host, and then he was struck with lightning, and he got bit by a radioactive spider. This is his origin story.

Honey, let's get this here and be. It's an open floor plan, and the reviews say you get to fight at knife point with someone in the middle. It's an immersive experience. It's like your own personal escape room. Yeah. Jaleesa Jackson. And I'll try my best here. That is not her name.

Jaleesa Jackson. Jaleesa Jackson. Jaleesa Jackson. Miss J if you're nasty. And Cheduzie Uwandu. And that's his best I can do. And I really put my heart into it. I think you nailed it.

They are two anesthesiologists. So they have access to drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we sure that this happened? Dude, they're just the Airbnb-ers. Oh. These are the Airbnb-ers. This is not a new one. Jaleesa Jackson and Cheduzie Uwandu, two anesthesiologists,

doing their residencies in Boston, told their story to the Boston Globe in an article published on Monday. The couple, who met in med school at Johns Hopkins University, we really dig into their life. And they're not the ones who are

attacking people. I think that they're trying to prove that these people aren't crazy. To every step of it. Give them some credibility. We're vetting them. If you're calling them liars, then you're calling Johns Hopkins a liar.

You're calling into question the institution of medicine. If you try and step to Jaleesa Jackson. The couple who met in med school at Johns Hopkins University both work grueling schedules and were looking forward to some rest and relaxation

when they flew to Los Angeles for a one-week vacation in June. Now we blame it on L.A. Damn L.A. God damn L.A. This is a guy who didn't get an audition. Isn't your next-door neighbor, don't they have an Airbnb? He does do Airbnb. And you're like, these people.

Because there's always some crazy, in the afternoon. And fine, I 100% support this. But at Sunday morning, 10 a.m., a crazy gay rave on the deck is not going to like – What you need for your 11 and 13-year-old. Just to like have my 11-year-old looking. Is it still going from all night or it's a new rave? It might be a new thing. It might be a Sunday morning brunch rave.

A Sunday morning brunch rave. A brunch rave. I love a brunch rave. That takes a lot of energy. The line is long. Beth's like, Sunday morning brunch rave. A Sunday morning brunch rave. I love a brunch rave. That takes a lot of energy. The line is long. Beth's like, I can't plan that. Beth, we did not ask you to plan a Sunday. Beth is thinking that we just roped her into planning a Sunday morning.

Am I doing that now? No, you're not. It's a brunch rave. Oh, okay. They don't need comedy there. They're not asking for storytellers. A quick, tight five. So they told the Globe that they booked a guest house on Airbnb that had excellent reviews and their renter

JJ, two letters, was ranked as a super host by the site. When they arrived, they said JJ lived up to that title, making sure there was a chilled bottle of wine waiting for the couple along with a welcoming note.

So that was there. That's what it takes to be a super host at this night. That's not that much. In the note, it did say sleep with one eye open. I'm just going to say it. So he was honest. See you guys around 3am. No!

I'll be checking back in on you. So we don't talk to you ever again, right? Right. You just shout at us every now and then. No, not in the middle of the night. Wait, hang on a second. Did I say middle of the night?

But their first night in the house took a turn for the worse when Jackson, that's Jaleesa if you're nasty, woke up at 5.30 a.m. to the sounds of banging at the door. She got out of bed and heard a man shout, quote, I know you're in there, Kevin. I've never thought about this, too. What if someone does have someone come to their house for some sort of vengeance and they've Airbnb'd it? They're not there. You're there. That's going to happen.

That's a good movie. That is a movie. That is a good movie. That is a movie. That is a good movie. What if this dude is like in a memento kind of situation and he doesn't remember anything that's happened? He's trying to piece his life back together. He's trying to piece his life back together. Who are these people that are in my house? Yeah. I don't remember.

Is it a sliding door situation or an Airbnb? I can't tell. Ooh. I know you're in there, Kevin. My response would be like, I'm not in here. I'm not Kevin. And I'm not answering that door. And then the response from outside is, shut up, Kevin.

I know you can do voices. When she opened the door. It's Hollywood. You're a voiceover actor. When she opened the door. Why? No, okay. Yes.

Okay. I know. Beth, that's on you. No, Beth. No. No. Don't open the door. Don't open the door. Call the police. Don't even go, Beth. No. No. Don't open the door. Don't open the door.

Call the police. Don't even go to, don't go to the basement. Nope. And don't open the door. Don't open the door. Don't shut a mirror. Don't shut a mirror. Like, wash your face, shut the mirror, and look up quickly.

The person isn't even like, I need help, or they're not saying, hey, I'm looking for a friend of mine. They're yelling, I know you're in there, Kevin. And you open the door. I'm going to say anything after that, a little bit on you. A little bit. You have to know to keep it shut. Like, the cop taking the report later is going to look up from his pad

when you say you opened the door. You definitely didn't. He's going to be like, so you definitely kept the door shut. And Jillian's going to be like, wow. Nope. Nope. Dan's thinking of the person looking up at that point. You want me to write, you opened the door?

That's the story you're telling? You opened it? Well, I am from Boston. We open doors for people. Johns Hopkins University. Very girly. Make sure you get that in. We're residencies.

What time I remember was my name, Kevin? And then you know that dick cop, everything you say after is like, and then they came rushing. And this was after you opened the door. So to be clear on the timeline, I just want to know if this happened after you did the dumb thing. After you opened the door. After you did the dumbest thing that a human could do. So let's call everything in the rest of this after you opened the door. Just trying to figure out when you had actually open the door to let this crazy person in.

If that happened in a movie, the entire theater would just go, no! Why? As she's unlocking the door, they're like, no! This is about to take another fun turn. Because when she opened the door, she confronted the crazed man and told him to go away. That's some Boston shit. That's some Boston shit. That's some Boston shit. That's some Red Sox just beat the Dodgers.

We have confidence over L.A. right now. Jaleesa's like, mm-mm. You know one really good way to get people to go away? Don't open the door. Leave it shut. Okay. She opened the door. She confronted the crazed man and she told him to go away.

Then she shut the door and called JJ. It was then that she heard a cell phone start ringing on the other side of the door. The call is coming from very close inside. From the front porch. Oh, great. Hello, JJ? JJ? Yeah.

I know you're in there, Kevin. No, this is Jaleesa. Jaleesa calling you. I'm Jaleesa calling you. Oh, great. Hello, JJ? Yeah. I know you're in there, Kevin. No, this is Jaleesa. Jaleesa. I'm Jaleesa calling you. Oh, my God. That must have been a crazy moment. That's another moment where in the movie everyone's freaking out. Everyone's freaking out.

JJ confirmed her fear. What do you think his cell phone ring was? Like, you definitely don't think he said it, right? Open the door. Get on the floor. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do- right? Open the door, get on the floor. Like the one that everybody's parents have. No!

Set your damn ringer. Also, I love that Jaleesa's boyfriend or husband or whatever, he's just asleep. You take care of it, baby. You got it, baby. Just handling the whole thing. Is that a loud noise, Jaleesa? I'll go up there, but I'm letting in whoever it is. Fine. Just let me sleep.

The grueling schedule that I have. I'm still jealous from Boston. I know. And the wine that he left. What was in the wine? What was in the wine? So she shut the door and she called JJ. That's when she heard the cell phone start ringing on the other side of the door she just closed.

So at first you just assume that's a coincidence because there's no way this guy can be the guy. Well, JJ then confirmed her fear when he picked up the call, admitting that he had been the man yelling and in fact it was him. Okay, but there is a moment

here where Jaleesa's like, we can clear this up. Right. Hello? JJ? You're not going to believe what's going on. I'll believe it. Oh, I believe it. I believe it because I'm in it. Someone is yelling at us. Okay, can I ask you a quick question before we hang up?

Yeah. Is Kevin in there? No. There is no Kevin here. So at that point, you then also realize that this guy has the keys to the place. Right. So staying behind the door at this point is not an option. Hold on.

He admits that the yelling man had, in fact, been him. Quote, this is JJ. Yeah, that was me, he said. Quote, sorry about the confusion. Life's too short for me to give you an explanation. Have a nice time in L.A. Wait, no. Life is not too short for me to give you an explanation. Have a nice time in L.A. Wait, no. Life is not too short

for you to give me an explanation. We're up. It's 5.30. Life too short to ever hear why you were woken up in the middle of the night with somebody screaming at you.

Life's too short to explain something that needs to be explained. Is it possible this is J.J. Jimmy Walker? Like, is it possible that it's him? I know he's kind of

gone off the deep end. And I'm thinking J.J. Abrams, too. J.J. Abrams. So I think the story should have included that it wasn't either of them. Right. Just to be clear. J.J. Abrams, like, this could be 1974 and we don't know it.

It's also a nice guest house. He might have been time traveling. Yes. Please. Life is too short. I time traveled to get here. It's a long story. It's too short for that explanation.

He literally explains the show Lost. He's like, they're in purgatory. Right, right. So he, spoiler alert. So he says, have a nice time in LA. The couple tried to brush off the incident and had a nice day at the beach. But they said chaos struck again the following night. What?

When a man crashed through their bedroom window at about 2 a.m. while they were sleeping, sending shards of glass flying everywhere. Kevin? Is that you? What if that was Kevin? If that's Kevin, she deserved to be mad about it. It just goes everywhere.

And then the guy who undoes rolls over like, babe, you got to deal with this again. Babe. Tonight on a very special Airbnb. Look. Kevin shows up when no one wants him to. Remember, they're just like, look, babe, last night, we're going to put that behind us. Tonight, we're going to go to sleep.

We have a new bottle of wine from JJ. And you know, as they were laying down, he just said to her, I'm so happy we decided to really, decided to stay here. Look, we are so stressed out. Like, we're both doctors and we both

The last thing we need is what happened last night. I don't need to remind you that we both went to Johns Hopkins. And we're so tired from being residents. I mean,

we're saving lives. All we need is a good night's sleep. That's all we need. Look at how peaceful it is in this bedroom right now. 2 a.m. Crashing through the window.

Oh, my God. The Wando sprang into defensive mode, hopping on the intruder and pinning him to the ground. Unreal. By the way, there are moments. Well, it's his night. It's his night to deal with the disturbance. He springs into action.

It's like a kid. The disturbances are their babies. Last night was her night. Tonight was his night. So when we ever do shows on the road or anything, we always take the first flight back, which means we usually cash out at the club at

like 12 or 1. Get back to the hotel. You're wired. You've just done two shows. You get in bed. You can't fall asleep. It's like 2.30 and at 4.45 there's a car that's going to take you to the airport. So you get an hour and a half of terrible sleep. When that phone rings as the wake-up call, I shoot up out of bed and immediately get a headache that I can never get rid of.

This guy got up out of bed and nearly sprung into action. Well, it was his night for the intruder. Got to put the intruder back to sleep. Quote, I had no idea what was happening, he recalled to the Globe, but I reacted like we were under attack. You were under attack. You were. You were under attack. It's almost you're like a doctor. Jaleesa Jackson then grabbed her phone to call 911, but quickly recognized the man her boyfriend had tackled was none other than JJ.

That's just JJ. His own house. His own house. Oh, man. That's just JJ. I smell meth. By the way, I smell meth, I'm just saying. I smell meth, too.

That's just JJ could also be the name of the TV show. Oh, yeah, that's just JJ. How many shows have you guys developed from these stories? That's just JJ. We are already patent pending on that one. JJ was able to free himself and ran out the door. Nope. Into the window, out through the door.

Yes. Also a show. Please rate and review me well. While the couple waited for police to arrive, they barricaded themselves in the kitchen and armed themselves with the largest knives they could find in case he came back. They were JJ prepped. Yeah. Cops quickly apprehended JJ, and one of the officers told the couple that JJ, quote,

told police that the Airbnb had ordered him to evict the couple over cleaning fees. So JJ's telling the cops, like, no, no, no. I was supposed to throw them out. Airbnb said to throw them out. This is on corporate. I can't take the fall for corporate on this one. They told me to go through with Airbnb. Hey, you know what?

Look, I would love to have not gone through my window. Look, and here's the deal. I knew already that the door gambit was not going to work. And you know what? Look, I would love to have not gone through my window. Look, and here's the deal. I knew already that the door gambit was not going to work. And you know what? There are shards of glass all over that bedroom, and they haven't cleaned anything up. I just want you to know that. And it's disgusting, and somebody's going to get hurt. That is not how I—

Fool me at the door. Shame on you. Shame on me. At some point, an elderly woman came out of the main house. Remember, this is a guest house. Oh, my God. And asked the couple who they were. Now, these people have been there for two days, and this woman doesn't know somebody's in the guest house?

Who are you? This is the out-of-towners. She said that she owned the property and that JJ rented the guest house from her, but wasn't supposed to be renting it out to others. Oh, my God. And he's a super host. He's renting the hell out of this guy. And this is the first time she's noticed. Yeah, noticed that people who aren't JJ are back there. Right.

In LA, first time she knows. She's got a lot of different friends with suitcases. He's got Kevin. You know that. Well, he's lost Kevin. Kevin is dead to me. I'm very upset about Kevin. Jackson called Airbnb that night, and the company agreed to refund them the $708 they had paid to rent the house for the week. Nice.

That's a good rate. Good rate. It's a good rate. Good house in LA. It's all right. Yeah. But the couple said they didn't get the credit until last week after the Boston Globe made their first call to the company about the story. Airbnb also reportedly offered to relocate the couple to another property for the remainder of the

stay, but they declined, deciding to get a room at a nearby Hilton, which cost them $2,300, including parking and other expenses. Wow. They ran it up. Yeah. They ran it up. They ran it up. Hey, Airbnb's getting this. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They asked Airbnb for

$5,000 to cover the cost plus compensation for the traumatic experience. That's not outrageous. That's not outrageous. Not at all. If you're Airbnb, you take that deal. Yeah. We're a huge company.

And you advertise that you paid it. I was ready for more zeros. Yeah, me too. I'm going to ask you guys, what do you think was Airbnb's final offer on what they were going to repay these people for their time and traumatic experience two nights in a row. What was their final offer? Did they give them the five or no? We don't know.

I'm not answering. He's not going to tell you. So, Beth, you're our guest. Final offer. They could have gone big PR and gone, here's 10. Right. Obviously, it probably isn't that number because I guessed it, but it could be more than that. You say 50,000.

I'm going to say Airbnb is just like, this is a chance for good. We need this to go away. We need this to go away and these people to be happy and to be a win. Like, if anything bad happens, we don't compensate you. We take care of you. We boost you. We need this to go away. And also, they retracted the name Kevin from the English language.

We need this to go away faster than Kevin. Airbnb is like, we've also started a fund to find Kevin. It's called the GoFindMe. Yeah, there it is. You might have a website there is You might have a website there You might have a website there Pay money to go find people Jay, what do you think?

$3,500 $3,500 $3,500 See, I'm on Beth's tip I think it's $25,000 I think they were like Look, we want this to go away We want you guys to be happy

I mean, they already spent $2,300 In just the hotel Fine No, I'm saying the couple did So you know that they're gonna At least make that up Yeah, so I think it's $25,300 in just the hotel. Fine. No, I'm saying the couple did, so you know that they're going to at least pay that up. Yeah, so I think it's $25,000. Okay. And they feel like, look, we settled out of court.

There's not a lot of legal fees. This thing will not be a mess. We'll make it go away. Okay. Except for when it gets talked about on Dumb People Town. Mm-hmm. All right, before I give this answer, I want to remind everybody that we are doing a live

Dumb People Town at Sketch Fest. Yes. January 11th. January 11th, Friday night, and a stand-up show right before that. The show on January 11th, the live version of this. It's your birthday, isn't it? On the 12th. I remember that.

5 to 10. Oh, bad. There we're right in the middle. So right smack of the ab in the middle of both of our birthdays on the 11th at Cobb's Comedy Club, 1030. It is 1030 p.m. We normally do this at Sketch Fest in the afternoon, and we usually birthdays on the 11th at Cobb's Comedy Club 1030. It is 1030 p.m. We normally do this at Sketch Fest in the afternoon

and we usually get about 200, 250 people show up at Cobb's. Come hang with us. Friday night, 1030, let's sell this thing out.

Get your tickets now, San Francisco. I want to go to Sketch Fest. I'm just saying it on the air. I've never been invited. Really? You should do it. We'll talk to them.

Uncap should go and do it. Yes. Would be a great show to do there. You would be fantastic. All right. Anyway. Get your answers in now because Beth said how much?

$50,000? $50,000. Randy? I said $25,000. $25,000. Jay said $3,500. Airbnb's final offer to the couple. $180,000.

$1,000. Oh, my God. Stop. Final offer. Don't negotiate against yourself. To two doctors from Boston trying to have a nice week in L.A. Wait. Where did they go to graduate school?

John's house. It was not made clear to me. Oh, that was not mentioned. It was not made clear to me. Oh, that was not mentioned. It was not made clear to us. Very grueling schedule. Okay. Woken up in the middle of the night while JJ looked for Kevin,

then woken up again when JJ just said, screw it, I'm going through the closed window. They were offered, the amount of money they were offered by Airbnb was $2,700. Oh my God. $2,700. Oh, my God. $2,700. What's up with that?

That's what's up. I told you. They said, we'll cover the $2,300 hotel bill. We'll spot you four notes. $400 just to keep your dumb doctor mouth quiet. The company also offered to pay for five therapy sessions, according to the Globe, for JJ. For who? Five.

Two. Five. You're just getting started. JJ needs our therapy. Wait a minute. Can I say something? JJ needs our therapy. I know how you feel about therapy.

Because here's the thing about that. No. Because the way the world works is we don't know. Maybe this couple needed therapy so much. Yeah. And this was the only way the universe could, like, conspire to get them

into therapy. They're like, well, it's free. I don't know. We'll go. And what if it changes their lives?

And what if it changes their lives? This could be the best thing that ever happened What if one of them is like, I shouldn't be a doctor. Yeah.

What if the other one sends a bottle of wine to JJ? Yeah. You know what? You indirectly helped us. You changed my life. I looked inward. I looked at my own childhood. I looked at how I

formed my life. I looked at the way I address people on a regular basis. We don't communicate well. You should have saved me. All that. It's all going to come up. This is so great. That is the most bad response to this story ever. I'm so happy that little tidbit was in there. Five therapy sessions. Five therapy sessions. Five therapy sessions,

but the couple declined. They declined. Beth would have been like, you know what? You throw in a Reiki and I'm there. Throw in a rolfing section and I'm there. This is exactly the couple.

That's the stupidest thing when you talk about the couple. Dumb people town. Dumb people town. Take it. What if it's given to you? What's the worst

that can happen? You guys communicate. Like you said, you guys talk to each other? Let me ask you, though. I would probably take the $2,700. Sure. And the five therapy services.

I got a story I'll tell the rest of my life. Totally. We didn't get hurt. Yeah. We spent a week at a Hilton in Los Angeles. All ended up being paid for. And we started going to therapy. We've got a great story.

We got an extra $400. I'll buy an Apple Watch and call it a day. Therapy. It's win, win, win, win, win. Just like Beth Lapidus on Dumb People Town. It's win, win, win, win, win. Hey, so Uncabaret goes on Sunday nights.

Sunday nights. We're kind of all over the place. Where people can find it, Uncabaret.com? Yes, and on social, Uncabaret. Follow the Instagram, follow the Twitters, just at Uncabaret. Follow the Instagram, follow the Twitters, just at Uncabaret. At Uncabaret, yeah. It is a great show.

I recommend going back. Yeah, you guys have to come back, too. Oh, we will come back and do it, but I'm saying I recommend going back, getting the— You can get it on iTunes. Can't you get the— Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a whole catalog. The whole catalog of old—

To hear people like— Mike McDonald's Do The Lines. Faye Dunaway. Him coaching Faye Dunaway through an audition. His story about coaching her through the audition as she's driving through the Paramount gate is one of the greatest stories. Any last words for me, Mike?

Yes, you're Faye Dunaway. Do The Lines! Do The Lines! Unbelievable. It is classic stuff we've got a lot of stuff on audible too check it

another reason to join that Beth Lapidus thank you for coming here and oh shit we've got to get back to work dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum

dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum stick around make a sound Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb