Dumb People Town - Beverly D'Angelo - Chop First, Axe Questions Later

Episode Date: March 26, 2019

In Story 1, a teenager is arrested after trying to get a discount on a Playstation by weighing it as a bag of fruit. Then a Stitcher Premium interview in which Bev spins some yarns about old school Hollywood stories! Story 2 brings us a man who wrecks his home with an axe after he thought his wife damaged his action figures. Story 3 -- brought in by Beverly herself -- is the tale of a diamond billionaire who died during penis enlargement surgery.Visit patreon.com/dumbpeopletown for exclusive video episodes, bonus content, and more!

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Armand Dan Banders don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound On your downies, Dumb People Town

Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town Population, population D'Angelo! Beverly D'Angelo Welcome to the show, Bob A legend Well, hey, I, D'Angelo. Beverly D'Angelo. Welcome to the show. A legend. Hey, I am happy to be here.

I am so happy to see you. It's a reunion of sorts. It is. It's a reunion. We worked together on Entourage and you were wonderful. It is always amazing that when you get a chance to work with someone who you've admired for a long time and just it was such a treat for us and you've always been one of our favorite comedic actresses. You're very well versversed in flattering.

I will tell you, we were great actresses, period. And also who we sought out to sit with when we ate lunch while we were working. I sought you out. No, we both hung out. I followed you guys. I followed you. You don't even remember that. I do.

But, you know, wasn't it a sign of how great that show was? They had the best craft. I've never seen craft service like this. Unreal. Unreal, and like the guacamole truck and people walking we were lucky enough

to do one movie with John Travolta who brought his own chef yeah so that was like it's like wait we're having tri-tip again

for lunch lobster medallions what's happening for a midday snack clams casino what's happening it was like when I was on the set of Superbad.

It was like the first set I ever visited. And I'd never been craft services or anything. And he goes like, what kind of steak you want? I'm like, oh, you have different cuts? He's like, no, we have regular steak and shark steak. I'm like, where am I right now? It's shark steak for craft services for Superbad. Wait, hold on a second.

Was Entourage the best Craft services you've ever seen On any set It was Mom Mom Mom You mean the TV show Allison Janney Yeah

That was crazy That was crazy That was like a restaurant Basically We're gonna make you a smoothie You can really Oh smoothie Yeah

We'll make a souffle Order your chocolate souffle Who had the cornichon Who had the cornichon Who had the cornichon we need 20 minutes to do the flourless chocolate cake just let us know before you shoot your scene and then when you come out do they really bring out a baked Alaska

who has the chicken madera lots of flambe the steak Diane three ways it's a real sign but this came up Because I noticed That your Your quarters here

For the podcast Are quite a They're intimate And illustrious And very special Thank you And it's a tribute To how special you are

And how many wonderful listeners It's the castle That Dumb built Yeah Well we And tell me if you believe this Because this is what We've sort of learned

In doing this Specific podcast How dumb people are Do you think Okay so Is it that the world's getting dumber Or that dumb is just getting louder And tell me if you believe this Because this is what we've sort of learned In doing this specific podcast How dumb people are Do you think Okay so you Is it that the world's getting dumber Or that dumb is just getting louder What do you think?

Both Very good point about dumb getting louder Gee I wonder why Yeah right But You know I will say That the government defunded Public education in the 80s

That's one reason In the 80s And so it's gone down So those are the peoples. That's one reason. In the 80s, and so it's gone down. So those are the people that elected? That's who's come of age, as they say. So yeah, I mean, there's a little reality there, but it's also, everything's out there now. You can find everything.

I'm a researchaholic. Are you? Oh, yeah, yeah. I should be a researchaholic. Are you a WebMD? I'm a WebMD. Oh, God. No, no.

I've got a hang now. What is it? No no no That's baby stuff I'm into like reports And statistics And just Justicia

I record cases And stuff Well yeah Right where it's like You dive deep The deep dive The deep dive The deep dive

Take a deep dive Miss deep dive Miss Beverly deep dive Angela There you go Specifically speaking But you like to be informed You like to have the information. Yeah, specifically.

He just gave me the title of my podcast. I said specifically with Beverly Deep Angelo. But she punched it up even better. Specifically speaking with Beverly Deep Angelo. Yeah, because I like to hone in on a thing. I love that. Anyway, so I do think that everything's accessible, so you can actually see how idiotic people are.

Like just this morning, I did. Can I share it with you? Sure, please. I don't know. I mean, look. Should we say this is the last one? Should we let this be the last one? I don't know. Do you have a story that you brought? Yes, I do. Okay, so then let's save that for the final segment.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Stick around if you want to listen to the story. Beverly D'Angelo brought a story for the last story. Okay, so she's here. Let's jump into a story right now because I know the story. I've sent other ones, but this one was pretty. This is as good as it gets. But is this a good one?

We'll find out. We'll find out. I know, but I mean, I... No, we're going to find out. I think I sent other ones. This might be... Let me see it. We'll look at it, and then I'll dig into the first one.

Read the headline. Read the headline, Dan, on this one. You can see what I sent Noah. There are other ones. Yep, we're going to do that. We're going to do that. We're going to do that. Okay. Okay.

All you need to do is do that. Okay. Let's jump into one right now with her. All right. This was sent in by Brandon Coffran at DeLorean. Coffran. See, that's a dumb name. Sorry.

All right. Brandon's good. Brandon's good. My name doesn't make sense. It doesn't have an ethnic. Who are you talking to? Beverly? Okay, that's lost.

D'Angelo? That's Italian. I know. You get confused. Beverly D'Angelo. There's an apostrophe in your name. It's fantastic, too. And on top of that, there's an apostrophe.

I'm sorry. Your name includes punctuation. Yeah, it's a lot of work. Here we got to work. Brandon Coffrin. This is his Twitter handle, though. At DeLorean underscore Tardis. Thank you.

I wonder what the TARDIS is for. That's like the Doctor Who thing that you're blowing up. You're getting a call. Oh, Beverly. I don't know. Okay. I'm having a party. I'm having a party on Saturday post-Oscar.

A sloppy seconds party. There you go. For a friend of mine who won an Oscar. And that girl that's calling is someone that I need her to help me. I'm sorry. Let's go back to Brandon. Brandon Coffin at DeLorean TARDIS. TARDIS is what they travel around in in Doctor Who.

So he's just got a couple of cool cars. My kids wanted to watch that and I went, don't watch that. Ready? You said Doctor Who? A French teenager has been jailed after buying a PlayStation 4 at a grossly reduced price by weighing it as if the game console was a bag of fruit.

Wow, that's all kinds of dope. I know. But some very smart there. Right. So the 19-year-old man... He's smart. ...named in the French media as Adele. I mean...

I know. That's pretty cool. Adele. It's all right, I know. That's pretty cool. It's all right, I'll play a station with you and I. Picked the device off the shelf and took it to the fruit station and weighed it. So that's how he got the price. He took it over to where you get your own ticket for how much your fruit weighs and just put a PlayStation on. Did we ever tell the story of how when we were in Israel, we spent a semester

in Israel. We were at Tel Aviv University in Ramat Aviv and there was a Super Soul supermarket right by us and Jason and I used to, because we didn't have money back then, we used to like get a bag of bulk food and walk around and do your shopping. It's not right.

It's not right. And so you weigh it at the end and it obviously weighs less than you have eaten. How much does one grape weigh? Exactly. That's what I'm buying. One sesame. You guys always come in here and buy one sesame stick between the two of you. That's what he said.

So they caught us because- Just buy that little piece of halva. They should charge you like a dollar a bag. They caught us and scared the shit out of us. Really? I was going to say, because that just kind of offset. They took us in a back room. We're like, we could never be heard from ever again. Never go back. They took us in a back room and were like, we could never be heard

from ever again. Never go back room. Took us in a back room and they're like, we know you've been stealing and we're like, what can we do? They're like,

just pay for it. I stole something once with my friend Rob and Christy. What did you steal? It was, I think we were in seventh grade and there were,

in this little, Columbus, Ohio, the suburb I grew up in had 10,000 people in it but it was a tony suburb by the way it was in Upper Arlington there's no Lower Arlington but anyway there was like a little kind of what we would call a strip mall

now but there was Murphy's which was the cheap store and then there was the Villager which was less Wexner soon to be big empire. But at the time, it was just a place that my cousin was working in, my godmother. Anyway, so we decided that we would steal things. We purposely wanted to steal.

That was like, let's go steal something. So we went to Murphy's and we stole some sweaters. Wow. And it went really well. It's just like, get the sweater. You know, we just stole a great sweater. It was sweater in purse, not a big, like, master plan. It wasn't even in a purse.

I think we had it in a bag. I mean, we were idiots. We were, you know, we were in a little suburb. What did we know about boosting? So anyway, then we went into the village, the villager, and we were going to steal some more sweaters. But these were Heather sweaters, fancy sweaters. And we went back into the dressing room and we were talking about, well, should we put them in with the Murphy sweaters or too much, too much planning. We were going to switch them out. We were going to switch them out.

Obviously you could hear us. And this woman flung open the curtain and she said, what's in the bag? And my friend Robin Christie was amazing because she immediately burst into tears. She said, wait, Jeff Schmidt dared us to steal this. Fucking Jeff Schmidt. Yeah, and Jeff Schmidt, like his dad owned Schmidt's Steakhouse. And it was like, he was like a big, you know,

big guy in the community and everything. And so it was like chalked off to, you know, these poor little girls. They're getting dared by Jeff Schmidt. Jeff Schmidt locked up for four years. And she cried real tears. Collusion. She had that Jeff Schmidt in her pocket. Were you, did you want to be an actress at that point or no?

No, I didn't want to. Well, I still don't. No, but I must. I must. I mean, that's what I said to Sir Ralph Fiennes done No but But I must I must I mean that's what I said to Sir Ralph Fiennes On this last movie I did Stop

But But anyway We'll get to that later We'll get to that later But no You didn't want to be a No I wanted to be a singer Want to be a singer

Yeah singing was Was my thing It's still Kind of is But you know But it's the one thing I've never like Sold out to

Good I sang in all those movies. Yeah, you sang in a lot. All right, you ready to hear how I did this? Okay, sorry. No, you're fine. Never say it. I apologize.

Audience, audience of dumb people, I apologize. No, you're always welcome. So he picked the device off the shelf, took it to the fruit section and waited. He then put the sticker on the heavily reduced price tag of the expensive console and went to the checkout. Okay. What? Now, I got a bushel of PlayStation. So far it's sounding good to me.

In the United States dollar, on average, a PlayStation goes for about $390. But I have a son. So you get it. How much do you guys think he paid for this PlayStation 4 after weighing it as a bag of fruit? In US dollars, what do you think? Think of how much it might weigh.

You tell the Xbox, Jason. What was the produce? Was it like for tomatoes or avocados? We don't know. Just weight it. They must do a flat rate on their produce. Just guess. What do you think?

I don't think they have a flat rate. Okay, my guess that a PlayStation weighs about max two pounds, wouldn't you say? Maybe. I would guess six. You think that's that much? Okay, I'd say, I don't know, $12. Okay, good.

Jason? $14. All right, Brian? $18. $18. Ding, ding, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. I know. Ding, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.

Oh, I was right. It was six pounds. Adele paid for the six- bag of quote unquote fruit at the self checkout. That's the other key. Self checkout. That's not a dumb guy. How does this qualify as a dumb person?

The store is dumb because the store at this point is like we want you to do our job. We're too tired of paying actual people to do these things. We don't want humans to do it. This is what I would tell the store. Number one, if I got caught and I'm the French guy,

number one, Jeff Schmidt dared me to do this. Number two, which by the way, the movie about Schmidt was about Jeff Schmidt. It was about Jeff Schmidt daring him to go across country with his grandson. Daring him to adopt a guy from Africa Right

So no but the second thing I would say He's adopted a guy in Africa Did he? No he didn't That's in the Rap Fiends movie In About Schmidt He's writing the letter I just want you to call it a new coup Remember he like

I'm not going to fight you on it No one's arguing with you Let the listeners yell at us Don't find out Since you guys are doubting me so hard Nobody's doubting Look he's searching You're gonna do a search

Am I saying it wrong Ralph Fiennes She says Ralph Fiennes I'm saying Ralph Fiennes She worked with him Yeah Am I saying it wrong You know it's weird

We never really worked out What his name was What his name is Yeah What if it was Ralph Fiennes What did it work I think it's weird. We never really worked out what his name was. What his name is. Yeah. What if it was Ralph Fiennes? What did it work? I think it's Ralph Fiennes. I think it's Ralph Fiennes.

Okay, there's a... I know you're still looking for something about... I want it to be Ralph Fiennes. Wait, you've got a computer. How do you pronounce his name? Scarves. On the set with him, you really weren't allowed to talk to him that much, really?

No eye contact. Well, you weren't allowed to say his name. Well, you're not allowed to call him... He wrote a letter to a guy in America. Jason's back. Jay just comes back and steps on what may be one of the best jokes of this whole episode so far.

She said, you're not allowed to call him by name. And I said, of course, you're not allowed to say Voldemort. There you go. Beautiful. Good one. How much did he pay? Get your answers in that. What was the guess?

He's looking at Jay. She said 12. I said 12. Jay said 14. I said 18. He paid. Remember, all you got to do is be closest. Okay.

You keep looking at Jay like he got it right. Well, I should be because the answer is $10. I got it right. Yeah. Beverly. Nice work. Well, I should be because the answer is $10. Yeah! I got it right! Yeah! Beverly! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Nice work. $10 for a PlayStation 4.

No one stopped this guy. $10 for a $400. But how dumb is it to even put that article in the paper because not everybody's going to do that. Number one and number two. I'm doing it. I want to do it. This is what you have to say.

You need to say to the management, hire more people. I'm doing this. You know how sometimes people take guns through TSA just to be like, you didn't detect this. You need to do a better job. What they're saying is you need to hire people. Like the self-checkout thing, I know you're trying to save money and everything, but you got to hire people. Hire people. By the way, that's just one thing we know about.

That's what we know. Where did he get that idea? Probably from someone else. Right? Sorry to interrupt you. Or do you think it just like dawned on him? No, but if a person, a checkout person were to take a bag that had a PlayStation in it, they would never weigh it and be like, this is fruit.

Okay? So it's a $400 mistake. It's a failure of the system. That's methodical. Someone had... I bet that same guy had tried... Well, I think I'll try it with a, I think I'll try it with an avocado. Hey,

I just bought this avocado. No one paid any attention to me. I got the price myself and checked out myself. And I lifted it up off the thing

so it wasn't that heavy. Maybe I'll try this with some bacon in the produce. I think he built up to it. Yeah. Stop having us do your job for you

and then this won't happen. Or it could have been a one shot. The retail price for a PlayStation 4 is about $390, around $400. Dan, am I the only one who gets mad when they at a grocery store hand you the receipt and the chain if you're paying with cash? In the same thing! All in one big

pile. They give you dollars and the receipt and change. Here's just a pile. Why do they do that? Can't you just push the pile and now get out of here quickly? I hate that. Oh change. Here's just a pile. Why do they do that? Can't you just push the pile now, get out of here quickly? Oh, yeah, that's the other thing is the people waiting. I just want to give them the change. You keep the change. Yeah, or just put the change in my hand first.

I love the person who's so close to me that I'm like, do you want to press in my code? Why don't you? The person behind you and I? Are we hugging? Just take my card. We're hugging right now. Just take my card. Take my life. Here, you can have it. I can smell your breath.

You get in these pants. By the way, speaking of stores, you know, on my way here, I went past this place. It's called the Dollar Store. Look on the side of it. It says, it's on the side of like, I think it's maple, because it's on the corner. It says, nothing in this store is over $1.20. Okay, that's not a dollar store.

I mean, by that classification, any store is a dollar store. That's right. Sure. You use dollars. You use dollars. There you go. Maybe that's it. $1.20.

Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah. But any, Saks Fifth Avenue, it's a dollar store. It is a dollar store. $2,000. That's true. Don't put that on the side of your building. It's on the side. It's on Maple. Adele then went on to sell the

PlayStation for $115 in order to pay for a train ticket to his hometown. I'm kind of like, you're a genius. Now I kind of like this guy. Where's his hometown? There's got to be a catch. His hometown of Nice in Southeast France. French newspaper.

Stones on the beach, though. Yeah, the beach is though. Is it? Yeah, the beach is on big stones. It's Nice there. Aren't I intercontinental? Here's where our guy finally gets dumb, too. Both of you stop it. What? Here's where our guy finally gets dumb, too.

Okay, let's hear it. The thief would have gotten away with the crime if he had not returned to the same shop the next day to try to carry it out again. Dummy. Dude. You got away carry it out again. Dummy. Dude. You got away with it. I'm so disappointed.

What did Gordon Gordon Gekko say? I'm so disappointed. Greed is not good. No, that's like a basis for kind of a divorce. Like, I thought you were that guy. Wait, you're that guy.

You're that guy. He was arrested by police and charged with theft but did not appear in court for the hearing last week at a magistrate court in the town of Monta Belliards. He sent a banana instead. Adele was sentenced to four months in prison.

In prison? What? Now I'm like, guys, four months in prison. Four months? Four months in prison? He's never going to do it again, is he? That's overkill. Well, yeah, he will. He will. This is how this article ends, and then we'll get out of here.

All of a sudden, the article jumps to a whole new line of thought. It's two, no, three lines. It's so French. What is it? Earlier this month in Alabama. What? Wow. In the same article?

Yes. Is it a new paragraph at least? It doesn't indicate. Four suspects. Wow, same paragraph, same article. Earlier this month in Alabama, Roy Moore gave a 15-year-old woman a PlayStation that he found in his home. Earlier this month in Alabama, four suspects were arrested after the theft of a PlayStation went wrong. This is just all about PlayStation crime.

They got caught, you mean? According to the Limestone County Sheriff's Office, which sounds like a music lyric from an old Hank Williams song, four suspects tried to steal a PlayStation from a man who advertised it on social media. But the owner, this is going to pay off, the owner tried to stop the culprits by grabbing hold of the game console and was dragged along the road as the gang drove away.

Stop it. Stop it. As the gang drove away. That's it. The topic of the thing is PlayStation Thieves. That's not the most interesting thing.

The most interesting thing is the guy. Who wouldn't let go? I was going to say the guy who wouldn't let go is he got dragged by a car. I would like, let it go. Yeah, the Alabama story. By the way, is the person who... Is that an Adele song?

I was going to say, a person who doesn't let go when they should let go because as they're holding on, it is only hurting them. That is every Adele song. That is the theme of every Adele song. That's story number one.

Hey, I heard you have a new husband in life. I'm just going to sit across the street and look at you. I'm fine. I'm good. I'm good. I drove 10,000 miles in a diaper just to watch it. I'm fine someone just like you, but I just want to let you know that that's good. But anyway, go back to your thing.

It's all okay. Find a new place to hide. That's story number one. Just checking in. Just checking in. All right, there you go. Story number one. No interest in it. In the books. Beverly D, go back to your thing. It's all okay. Find a new place to hide. That's story number one. Just checking in. Just checking in. All right, there you go. Story number one. No interest in it.

In the books. Beverly D'Angelo is with us, and she's providing a score for this episode. I'm underscoring. She's going to do a story later, so you've got to stay with us. We'll be right back with more Beverly D'Angelo on Dumb People Tell. Stick around. Make us down for more Dumb People Tell. And we're back.

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. We got Beverly D'Angelo here and Daniel. Let's talk about what she's doing now. Yeah, what are you doing? What's the latest? Well, I've just completed a film for the dreaded Netflix with Adam Driver and Sir Ralph Fiennes. Yes. I think it's Ralph Fiennes. I think it's Ralph Fiennes.

I think it's Ralph Fiennes. I trust you more than me, for Christ's sake. You just work with him. Noah? You've been calling him the wrong thing the entire time. It's Ralph Fiennes. Well, anyway, it's called Jonquil.

Jonquil is actually a flower, but it's relevant to the story I play A woman who's been adopted and buried late in life Obviously Discovers that she is actually the child Of people who were incarcerated in Auschwitz Wow She was a discarded child

That's heavy Yeah, there was a nunnery next door And she was discarded And actually it's like a combination. Ralph Fiennes plays the psychiatrist that gets the repressed memories out. And Adam Driver is actually a flashback kind of character who weirdly has a doppelganger in her life. So it's kind of like a mixture of a thriller. It's very moving.

It's kind of like a mixture of a thriller. It's very moving. It's kind of like a mixture of a thriller and an emotional movie. It's not a rom-com. It's not a rom-com. That is beautiful. It was hard to make. I can only imagine. It's called Jean Cui. Jean Cui.

Jean Cui. Jean Cui. I just saw a trailer yesterday. I've never heard anything about this movie. For that one? No, I've never heard anything about this movie. They've never heard anything about this movie They're keeping it under wraps It's Netflix man It's the way Netflix does things

I think that they don't want to draw attention They don't want people to see it It's like the way that they don't give their ratings It's like they're making all these movies Not telling anybody about it I'm kidding but I'll be promoting it Good good There's also like some CGI I've never heard of this movie until yesterday I'm not telling any bit about it. I'm kidding. But I'll be promoting it. Good, good.

It won't come out for... There's also like some CGI stuff in it. I never heard of this movie until yesterday. I saw the trailer for it and I want to watch it so bad. Badly. Beverly D'Angelo, Steve Guttenberg classic, High Spirits. Oh, yes. What? Yes.

Because you know why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But okay. Why are you saying that? Have you guys seen it? No I had never even heard of it High Spirits

Liam Neeson Peter O'Toole Daryl Hannah, Steve Guttenberg, Beverly D'Angelo When was this done? 1987 I think It was Shot in 87, I think it came out in 88 There's a story behind it from my part

It just looks so It looks like 80s movie fun Fun or funk? Fun Well, no, here's my end of the story I was married to an Italian Duke and I met this

writer in Los Angeles. His name was Neil Jordan, and he was just beginning to become a filmmaker. He didn't have an agent, didn't have a lawyer. You've got to get an agent. You've got to get a lawyer. You've got to get an assistant. The assistant part is important.

See, this is why our Stitcher fans are lucky. They're getting all this. This is amazing. So anyway, I fell in love with Neil, even though I was married, and I moved to Ireland. Anyway, I fell in love with Neil, even though I was married, and I moved to Ireland. And this was a Hollywood movie that Neil was making to follow up a film he'd made called Mona Lisa, which was brilliant. And it was conceived of as, you know, one of those rollicking, romping things, but it was based on something real. Yeah. There was a guy in Ireland who, there was a law in Ireland that you didn't have to pay taxes on a house if it didn't have a roof.

So there were all these old stone castles and magnificent manors that had become dilapidated and everybody just took the roof off but this guy had one of this these dilapidated manners and he decided to um advertise it as a haunted castle so you could check in and you'd stay in this dilapidated leaky horrible place and listen for the ghosts so anyway that was a real thing yeah and so from that idea you know neil got the idea of like, wouldn't that be funny? And Will and who was the other guy? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah.

But Will, but I can't remember. But they, but they. Okay. Anyway, so they were brought in as script writers because they really knew how to make a Hollywood movie. Yeah. And Neil didn't. And it was, you'll see. It's so much fun.

They like go to this, the thing that can see is like this guy. You don't know how much fun it is. I know, but the trailer makes it look so much fun. The guy sets a thing and he tries to get people to like fake pretend there's ghosts there. And then real ghosts end up like showing up.

And Steve Guttenberg falls in love with the ghosts. I play the wife of Steve Gutenberg who's, you know, and her father's rich. Oh, her dad owns the castle. Or his dad just bought the castle or he's going to buy the castle. I can't remember the plot. Anyway. Gutenberg burned so

bright in the 80s. He invented the printing press. He did invent the printing press as well. Am I wrong to say that? No, you're not. All right, let's get back into the show. Dan, you have a second story for us. I do. Oh, great.

I can't wait. You ready to do this? I love this show. I want to come every day. You got it. I just love talking about dumb stuff. Door is open. Dumb people.

Like when you wake up, you go, I turn on CNN just to see like how bad it is. It makes me so angry I have had to stop But go ahead Alright ready That's what you can't do though I know You can't For the life of me I just tried to figure

Any story where I could Where I could get you To call me Sparky But I couldn't do it For the life of me I'll call you Sparky Oh it's my favorite We did okay

There's so much love There's so much love That came from the first one That came from the first one We were doing that scene In the tent In the first one That came from the first one We were doing that scene in In the first National Anthem In the tent In the first one And we're lying there

And they were concerned that it would be You know So we thought a way to make it You know, to lighten it a little bit Would be like if we're just cuddly and affectionate Yeah And had nicknames Yeah

So that's how we came up with Sparky I mean, even in Christmas too, like how many times you say it. That's the only thing I say in Christmas. Yeah. I actually walked off Christmas. You did? I did, yeah.

Wow. I'm glad you came back. Yeah. All right, ready for the second story? Sent in by Robin at Robin Runs. I just came back the next day. 912.

Okay. All right, your call time. Nobody really knew I was back. No one gives a shit. It's a mental thing Where's Beverly? She'll be back tomorrow

She's at her hotel sleeping and getting ready for tomorrow Okay ready? A Wisconsin man caused chaos in his family home After taking an axe to his personal possessions After he thought His wife had damaged his prized action figures Dude Okay so he

destroyed all of his stuff. Because he thought someone had touched some of his stuff. Genius. Genius. With an axe, too. With an axe. Okay, so he wanted to kill her then? No.

You want to ruin his stuff? You want to touch my stuff? I'll touch it harder than you could ever touch it. See, you've got that actor thing in you. But you show the... You understand. You justify the actions of your... But I also think there's a certain level.

I think Beverly's right. I think there's a certain level of like, if you really want to touch this, look at what I'm capable of. No, that's what Jay said. I didn't say that. Yeah, I said that. We've got to stop giving him credit for stuff.

I don't want to give him credit. He doesn't ever want to give me credit. I said it. After he thought his wife damaged his prized action figures. I don't really have a problem with action figures. I can get behind anybody's collection. But don't go that far on something you just think. Go that far on something you know.

Dan, you know the rule in Wisconsin Chop first, ask questions later No, chop first, ask questions later I think you did it I think you did it to me I didn't do nothing I didn't do nothing Did she actually

What did she do to the action figure? What did she do? Dan, let's give him credit, first of all, for having a prized action figure collection and having a wife. Those are two things that don't always... Kudos to you, buddy. Often those are mutually

exclusive things and he figured it out. But obviously she wasn't that happy. Will you get rid of the action figure? I blew some of your action figures earlier today because I hadn't cleaned over the... But she's more Wisconsin. Can I please of the action figures? I blew some of your action figures earlier today because I hadn't cleaned over there. But she's more Wisconsin. Can I please get these action figures out of here? This is so embarrassing.

No, they're mine. You've got to get these out of here. I told you, you've got to get things out of here. I love action figures. I love those phone call dolls. I think they're all awesome. I don't have a problem with action figures. I don't either.

This is my reason for not getting into them. Are you really? Lurleen Lumpkin, the singing waitress from Spittle County in the Simps either. This is my reason for not getting into the bar. Are you really? Lurleen Lumpkin, the singing waitress from Spittle County in The Simpsons. Lurleen Lumpkin. Really? Yes. That's awesome. I love all that stuff.

My favorite, favorite, favorite line from that is they go out to the other bar that isn't the regular bar. Where she's singing in the other bar. And they're just showing how to. It's a rougher bar. Rougher bar. Fuds. they're just showing it's a rougher bar rougher bar fuds they're drinking fud beer and one guy

turns to the other guy and says let's fight and the other one's like them's fighting words I like the best line I think from that one from that particular one

was because there were three of them but the best one was Madge says you know you've been lying to me and he says it takes

it takes two to lie Madge one to you know, you've been lying to me. And he says, it takes two to lie, Madge. One to lie and one to listen. Okay, but so... And Bag Me a Homer? I finally Bag Me a Homer. Is that the song? I wrote that song. You wrote that song? I wrote that song.

It's a beautiful song. I was like, that's a brilliant song. Well, the basses were loaded on the diamond of my heart when the coach called me up to the plate. Okay. Anyway, I'm not going to sing the whole song. I love that. But here's the thing. You wrote that? Yes, I did.

And listen to this. So I write this song. It's a beautiful song. And I gave it to them. It was perfect. They said, yeah. And then they sent me all these things to sign to give away the publishing. And I went, no, I'm not giving away the publishing

I wrote the damn song And they said Randy Newman wrote the theme song And he doesn't have the publishing It belongs to Fox So I just never signed it I just never signed it And so I kept the publishing

So to this day It's like there's a little You know You get little checks Yeah the gift that keeps on giving It's ridiculous Now I know people Why people wanted to be To own their own publishing In the record industry So to this day, it's like there's a little, you know. Do you get little checks? Yeah, the gift that keeps on giving is ridiculous. Now I know why people wanted to be in the record industry. To own their own publishing.

Back then. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, yes. The basses were loaded on the diamond. I've been swinging and missing and loving and kissing. My average was.008. So I, what was it?

So I spit on my hands,ed the dirt from my cleats And pointed right toward center field This time I'm hitting a home run This time love is for real Oh, gosh! So good! It says we're loaded on the diamond of my heart When the coach called me up to the plate

I love it, man. Blur lane. But my reason for not wanting to ask for yours is I'm too afraid of like, I'll end up being like, where am I going to put all, like I'll run out of space. I don't want to get down a road of loving something. And then I have to build my life like, well, we need a toy room for my, like, I can't, I'm too afraid. Ikea shoving.

Yeah. It's not a bad idea. Okay. Here we go. Madison police responded to a domestic disturbance call on Sunday night after the suspect called 911 to report police on

himself. The suspect called 911 himself because of his actions. What? I did something bad. I'm out of control. It's also the ex's fault. That was Scottish. I'm out of control. It's also the ex's fault. That was Scottish.

I'm out of control. I'm out of control here. Someone's got to stop me, eh? He called 911 on himself because of his actions in response to drinking too much and then overreacting when believing his wife had damaged some of his prized property action figures.

So she didn't even damage them? I was just kidding, Carl. I drank too much. I just moved them. I drank too much and I had an ax too close. I told her. Because there is, because just picture it. He sees the action figures.

They appear to be damaged. The first thing he does is he has to walk somewhere to get the ax, unless he's just carrying the ax around. I've got a living room ax. That's the bathroom ax, Lurleen. Put it down. What's the bathroom ax doing in the living room? He's got the kitchen ax.

Well, that doesn't belong there. Go put it back next to the toaster. That's the garage ax. That one smells like potpourri. That's the bathroomaster. That's the garage axe. That one smells like potpourri. That's the bathroom axe. Why is the garage axe where the kitchen axe is? Honey, where's the Davenport axe? Did you take the entryway axe and put it in the bathroom?

Give the foyer axe. The foyer axe. We don't even have a foyer. You're drunk. Well, we need to get a foyer because I have a foyer We need to get a foyer Because I have a foyer For your ex Buy the ex for the home you want

You don't shut up You're gonna be my ex-wife Alright I'm an action figure An action figure What was that guy's name with the ex They don't even say They don't even say his name?

You know there's There's an umbrella of stupidity For the journalist writing People can't even write anymore Hello I overreacted Sir you gotta tell me where the axe is I hit it I hit it with an axe

Sir who did you hit with an axe? Where are you? All of them. All of them. Wait, hold on a minute. I just have been on a completely different tangent. I thought it said that he axed his other stuff. Because he thought she touched

but he didn't ax his action figures. Okay, sorry. I'm on the right tangent. You're right. He was drinking too much and overreacted, believing his wife had damaged his prized action figures. Police Chief Mike Covel said in a daily incident. Mike Covel gets a name. I know. He gets a shout out.

The guy who did it doesn't. Well, because he's a supporting character, so he's seeing how this whole story is actually about him and what he's trying to achieve. Mike Covel is like, I'm going to love Mike no matter what. Mike Covel is like my approach to big games. Yeah, that's right. Mike Colville is like, I'm going to love him no matter what. Mike Colville is my approach to big games. Police said the man used a log splitting axe to destroy, ready? Let's hear what he destroyed.

To destroy a TV, the stand it sits on, which makes me hope that's what he yelled, and the stand you sit on. I'm going to kill you. We know it's not a flat screen. We know it's not a flat screen. How does he not have a flat screen? It's definitely one of those TVs that's deep. It's terrible. A laptop.

Those don't even exist anymore. Dude, you took an ax to a laptop. Can you buy those? Can you buy a TV that's not a laptop? Maybe from a hospital. Okay. Yeah, or an old Irish bar in Chicago. The tube works fine.

Here, just put the aluminum foil on the antenna there. Hit it a couple of times. Every tube in Chicago has one of those multicolored strips that is like the coloring screwed up. Just fix it, guys. We can go to Walmart right now and get you a 40 inch for 80 bucks. I didn't know there was a rainbow in the movie The Artist. Black and white. Excuse me.

He used the log splitting axe to Detroit. Should have said Roma. I know. Sorry. The TV and the stand it sits on, a laptop, and a bunch of other items inside the house. The suspect's wife was not even home at the time. So he's not even trying to scare her. That's not even for her.

Obviously, he doesn't have anybody to even ask questions to. Something's going on there. If you don't text me back I'm gonna think you did it But you know what Maybe part of what's going on is The guy Nobody even cares about him No one's paying enough attention to him

I want attention is what it is I just wanted the cop to be like Okay alright Who are you really mad at What are you really mad at As long as they put my name in this article I'll be fine And they don't even put the name in the article.

So I think he walked into his room where all the action figures were on the shelf. One of them was laying on its side. It should have been up. In the sunlight. And he lost it. And he lost it. The suspect then moved outside and smashed the family car with the ax. Wow.

Chopping off both side mirrors. You'll never know when to change lanes. No. Family truckster. And eventually striking the windshield. If you won't let me look back, I won't let you look back. Eventually striking the windshield with such force that the axe became

stuck in the windshield. When officers arrive What did the neighbors say? Calm down, nameless man Yeah And now if I'm the maker of the car I say, look, we have a windshield that can take an ax There you go

Take an ax and keep on ticking You're always looking for those positive When officers arrive, they found the ax embedded in the windshield of the car Which is, if I'm the cop But they already said that the ax was in the windshield They're saying Look how the article is written It's bad It's like, and then he put the He embedded the was in the windshield. They're saying, oh, who wrote this? Look how the article is written. It's bad.

It's like, and then he embedded the axe in the windshield of the car. Next paragraph. When the police arrived, they found the axe embedded in the windshield of the car. It's all kinds of dumb. It's almost like he just discovered it. The writer. Yeah, but they probably just got out of UW-Whitewater. They're doing the best they can.

They transferred from Marquette after not having the grades. Poor thing. They just learned that a comma doesn't end a sentence. Just let the baby steps. If I'm the cop and we get out of the car, me and my partner, we get out and there's an axe. And no person around, just an axe. To no one, just to the world, I'm going, hey, buddy. Hey.

Where you at? Hey, buddy, you around here? Yeah. So they just charged out of the car without a thought that there was someone with... Were there guns cocked? The suspect was arrested for domestic-related charges of disorderly conduct and felony damage to property. But it's his property.

It's his own stuff. And no one else was there. Why is he arrested? You aren't allowed to do that to your stuff. That's not a law. I can tell her. Tell her what she did to my stuff. Do you know she did it?

No, I'm out of order. You can't be charged with wrecking your own property. What's your name? My name is, no, you know what? We don't even care. Some people would be like,

I am an artist, man. That's how I create. That's how you express myself. I have a question, though. I have a question. If an ax goes into a windshield and no one sees it. And no one calls the cops.

Is that a crime? Does it go in the windshield? Is it a crime? Thank you. But I take issue with that. I don't think that man should have been charged with a felony assault on his own stuff. That was his stuff. Agreed.

That's right. What are we? It's a police state? You own it. It's somewhat of a victimless crime. You bought it. You break it. It's like the reverse. You break it. You buy it. You buy it. You break it. It's somewhat of a victimless crime. You bought it. You break it. It's like the reverse. You break it.

You buy it. You buy it. You break it. It's yours. It's great. At the dollar store. How much was it? $1.18.

That sign is hanging in the mattress store in Dumb People Town. You buy it. You break it. You break it. You buy it. Have fun. Yeah, at the mattress store. Police estimate that the man called.

The water bar. Have fun. Police estimate that the man caused... The police estimate that the man caused about how much money in damages. Okay, so now we get to guess. You already won the last one. Okay, okay. How much damage? Did he have insurance?

Because wait, there's a whole thing about that. This is just putting a price. Put a price on how much damage he did. Don't inflate it for the insurance. Well, the family car is kind of a tip because when someone says a family car, that means it's a junker because otherwise we would have said, you know, his Lamborghini. Boxster. I agree with me. His Wagoneer.

Yeah, so family car means it's a great car. And he did the laptop, the TV, the TV stand that it sits on and other stuff. What do you think the damage is? TV and the TV stand I think is low. Laptop. Laptop is... Who knows what else he did in the house. Windshield, bolt mirrors.

You know, a laptop could be... Was it new? We don't know. If he's got an old TV, does he... It's probably Adele. Does he... Yeah. Right. From the first's probably Adele. Does he, yeah. Right, does he have... From the first story, Adele.

Just kidding. Right, right. Does, I mean, you know, I'm not seeing a high value in his possessions. Okay, okay. So give us a total. Where I'm going with this,

I would say it's gotta be, it's a felony, so we know it's under five, it's over 500. Mm-hmm. We do? I would guesstimate, isn't that a felony?

I guess so. I love that you already knew that. You could check that out. That was part of her... I would guesstimate Isn't that a felony? I guess so I love that You already knew that That was part of her I would guesstimate That's her Italian background Yeah right Answer I would estimate

Yeah but then the wasp part Is like no it's not I would estimate I'm undervalued I'm gonna say $6,000 worth of damage Okay Alright Jason or Randy? I'd say $6,000 worth of damage. All right.

Jason or Randy? I'd say $4,000. Okay. I think he did about $12,000 worth of damage. All right. I think he did a lot of damage. All right, Thomas. My car just got, I was in a car accident recently, and it wasn't terrible.

Do you have a family car? Do you have a car with a name? It was a station wagon, so I mean. But do you drive a station wagon? It was a Prius V. Okay. That's different. And I maintain that

if it was a car of value or import... They would have said Prius V. They would have said it's a Prius V. Look, I'm sticking with 12 grand. Okay, 12 for Randy.

12 grand. Six for Beverly. Six for Beverly. Four for Jason. Okay. Get your answers in and play along, Tonys, because we're going to

get out of here on this. The estimated cause in damages done by the man with the axe who had no information and no name is $5,000. Oh my God. He split it. We split it. Fantastic.

Great. The final thing, the fate of the man's action figures is unknown. Of course it is. Of course it is. Because they don't even know who he is. No one did any damage. He probably killed himself. And number two, just, I hope not.

Number two, you could have done that as a reporter. You could have figured that out. Oh, of course. But why report the guy's name? Why actually do reporting? Why actually do any work? All right, there's story two down in the books. Beverly D'Angelo is with us,

and she has brought a story for the third segment. I'm so excited. I'm glad you okayed this. Yeah, we're okay. We're okay. Stay with us. We'll read it in the blind. Well, Dan will read it in the blind.

Okay, we'll be right back with more Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Dan, should we read some names? I think. You up for that? I think I'm up for it.

Drip names. Are you up for it? I'm up for it. What about Jay? Do we need Jay? Jay, you up for it? I'm up. Okay.

So you guys know we are going to be switching from Drip to Patreon. Do you call it Patreon? Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. And it's going to be simple. You'll get an email and it'll tell you, you just click the link and put your information

in and then boom, boom, boom, you're on. Boom, boom, boom. You're going to get new stuff. There's a new level that we're presenting. There's all sorts of great stuff if you join with Patreon. So that'll be coming soon and we'll just make that switch as easy as possible. Let's read some names. Adam Russell.

I like it. Russell. Straightforward. Straight up. He's got two first names. Two first names. I love it. He doesn't give a shit.

Sounds like a second baseman or a catcher. Adam Russell. How about Rick Martin? What's up, Ricky Martin? He's living the Vita. He is. You guys. Full council member. Yep. Andrew. Andrew. Rick, don't call me Ricky Martin. Ricky Martin. He's living the Vita Loca. He is. You guys. Full council member.

Yep. Andrew. You said D. Rick, don't call me Ricky Martin. Ricky Martin. Andrew Verkooyen. If that's not a name from Game of Thrones. D.

He's a Verkooyen. He's a Verkooyen. House Verkooyen. That sounds badass. House Verkooyen? Yes. You don't want the Verkooyens breathing down your neck. Liz Proche.

Is it Proche or Proche? Proche. This is our favorite game. I'm going. Okay, let's vote. What's the show on Amazon? Do you call it Bosh or Bosh? It's Bosh.

But I think this is Proche. Proche. Okay. Ran and Dan have it. She puts the pro in pro. That's right. Matt Yonker. Hey.

Yonkers. Yonkers. If I saw him, I'd be like, Yonkers. I knew a Geary Yonker. Hey. Yonkers. Yonkers. If I saw him, I'd be like, Yonkers. I knew a Geary Yonker. That's great. This next one is. This isn't the greatest pimp name ever, ever, ever. Based on name alone, you know this person dresses well.

You know this person has a lime green suit ready to rock. Or he's a linebacker for Auburn University, War Eagle. Or he is a power forward for Georgetown in the mid-'80s. He also, a lot of third-person talk. Like, tells you, like, oh, you don't have to listen to me. I'm just Alonzo Flowers. Alonzo Flowers. Hey, Alonzo Flowers isn't going to go there.

Right. I'm just going to tell you what Alonzo Flowers does and doesn't do. And right now you're talking about something he doesn't do. I'll tell you what he does do, support this show on a great level. Thank you, Alonzo Flowers isn't going to go there. Right. I'm just going to tell you what Alonzo Flowers does and doesn't do. And right now you're talking about something he doesn't do. I'll tell you what he does do. Support this show on a great level. Thank you, Alonzo Flowers. Claire Rogers. Claire.

MD. I love a good Claire name. How about Jennifer Marvick? One N on Jennifer. One N on Jennifer. She doesn't have time to mess around. Based off her name, I want to meet her dad. Marvick?

Yeah. What if his name is Marvick? Fred Marvick. Fred Marvick? Fred Marvick. Marv Marvick. Fred Marvick. Male prostitute. Marv Marvick's pretty great, too. Marv Marvick.

Marvin Marvick is the greatest. So many A's in this. Marvin Marvick is the only white guy to play in the Negro Leagues. All right, how about Maya Alyssa? Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma Maya Alyssa. My Alyssa. My Alyssa. My Alyssa. Jessica Dunning. Jessica Dunning.

Jessica, thank you for being a pillar of the community. She's getting it, Dunning. It means something to me. Dunning it again. Dunning it again. Kim Sarah. Come on now. That is too. Sometimes it's like.

Maya Alyssa and Kim Sarah should be friends. Can we connect you guys up in any way? Are you ready? Kim Sarah could be one name. Okay. This next name makes me so happy because I know this person. You do? This person and I went to Burning Man together.

Oh. She was in our tent with her. You guys just don't get it. Yesabel. I'm saying her name. Yesabel. Jacqueline Wozniackii Are you allowed to say what her tribe name was?

Her playa name is Jezebel Because when she was Her name is in this? Her playa name Her cult name is in this? She spelled it in this way and I'll explain why Her playa name was Je there. And she spelled it in this way and I'll explain why. So her Playa name

was Jezebel because when she was in Catholic grade school, they said to her, she did something wrong. She put lip gloss on this and said, oh, you're a Jezebel. Literally ripped her apart. And so when we were on the Playa this last time

we were there, our friend Spanish John, who's from the Basque region of Spain. That's his name or a real name? His name is John. So when she was with us and she was walking at night a little bit away from us, he would call her to like, hey, we're going this way. But he did it in a Spanish accent and he would be like, Isabel! Isabel! So she put it on here.

Isabel! She's writing tone into all caps on Bell. I love you, girl. Did you even get to her last name? Yeah. Woznicki. Jacqueline Woznicki. Jacqueline Woznicki.

Yesabel, I love you, girl. I'm so happy you're here. Laura Geyer. That name alone, I just see in the credits of an 80s action movie. Laura Geyer. She did all her own stunts. She did all her own stunts. Laura Geyer.

How about Clayton Wise? Clayton Wise. Clayton Wise. Okay, let me tell you something. There's Smart about Clayton Wise? Clayton Wise. Okay, let me tell you something. There's Smart, and then there's Clayton Wise. Clayton Wise wrote a response book to Flannery O'Connor. Clayton Wise is a left-handed reliever. This next name I love so much. You want to talk about Harry Potter.

Do it without a pause. Say the name with no Griffin Hogle. You get a Griffin Hogle. What house are you in? What is the sorting hat? You're not in Slytherin? What are you in, Dan? What does the sorting hat say? I'm going to Community Hogwarts College. Which is what?

Which house is it? It's Griffin Hogle. Griffin Hogle! Dude, the hat, man. It's not in the same hat. It's a baseball cap. It's a Griffin Hogle Griffin Hogle Dude the hat man It's not in the same hat It's a baseball cap It's a different hat We got a Kangol hat that tells you what hat you're in I love it

Thank you Rick Martin And thank you Jessica Durning And of course thank you to my good buddy I gotta get back to Griffin Hogle Let's get back to the show. All right, guys. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. We are here with Beverly D'Angelo.

We had such a good time. Can I just tell you both how much I love you? Yes. Thank you. What about Dan? You don't love Dan? I love Dan, too. Well, Dan knows I do. I even did a video selfie with him.

That's a true devotion. All right, so you guys go back. No, but the thing is, I'm having such a great time. Oh, man, we love you so much. even, I did a video selfie with him. That's a true devotion. All right, so you guys go back. No, but the thing is, I'm having such a great time. Oh man, we love you so much. And this is why you're such a good actress.

And we, and you totally sold this on us and everybody there. And you told us in the break, the movie, the Netflix movie that you pitched, Jean Couette, not real,

not a real movie. You totally made that up. I was worried. I wanted to circle back. I wanted to circle back, you know, because I felt like. You were not offensive up. I was worried. I wanted to circle back. I wanted to circle back, you know. You are not offensive to any Holocaust survivors. You're fine.

I'm telling you what happened. I couldn't talk about the one that I'm about to do. The one that I'm about to do is with Cate Blanchett, Meryl Streep. It's called The Garden. It's based on Franz Gluck's opera, Ermita. Wow.

Where she goes into the garden and she summons hate. She's trying to kill the man she loves. And at the last minute, she can't. And it's very moving. Can I ask a question? Yeah. Is that a real movie? No.

Oh, my God! She's so good! She's so good. Jesus! By the way, every single thing you pitch, I would watch it. I would make and watch all those movies. Oh, it's a game. Wait a minute. That's a game. That's a game. Is Beverly D'Angelo

bullshitting or not? Is this a movie or is it not? Well, here's the thing. You did bring in a story that Dan is going to read it up so hard. This was sent to us by who, Dan? Beverly D'Angelo. Beverly D'Angelo! Let's give a shout out. It was sent to me by Bruce Wagner. Okay. He wrote Maps to the Stars. He's like a great

dark writer. Wagner the dog. Wagner the dog. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Let me read you the headline. First of all, it does, it breaks one of our usual rules of someone dying. Oh no, I didn't know.

I didn't know. I'm sorry. It's tasteless. It's awful. We've's usually their own fault. We've done it before. There was a guy who wanted to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel and died, but it was all on him and it was really funny. Okay. Not that funny. Billionaire diamond trader, 65 years old, dies during penis enlargement surgery. Okay.

Dude, you already had it all. This is elective. Here's the deal. I guess you didn't have it all. When you're a billionaire, it don't matter what your penis is. Okay, but you do have to get some background on this specific billionaire. Why couldn't he have just gone down to Florida with Robert Kraft and visited an organization? A billionaire diamond trader died during a penis enlargement operation in Paris.

Was it at a hospital? I can't say. Don't say it. Don't you go to Sweden for stuff like this? He's got a family. He was at an unidentified private clinic There's so many red flags here Unidentified private clinic

The red flags get worse He had it done in an Obon pain On the avenue No it was not in the Champs-Elysees In the French capital on Saturday When complications during the surgery proved fatal The experienced diamond expert's Heart attack happened when a substance was injected into his penis.

Guys. Stop. You're a billionaire. Yeah. Yeah, you're a billionaire. So his penis was a lump of coal and he was trying to turn it into a diamond. I understand if you have a small penis.

The money isn't enough to get you away. I understand. But you've got to look at the overall score of your life. Yeah. You're winning. Yes. Overall. Diamond billionaire.

A 9.8 is good enough to win gold. You don't... Yeah. Like, let's... Diamonds are forever. Forever. Forever. Penises are only temporary.

I actually... I don't want to show you this, but I did find a... Do it. No, I can't find it. She can't remember the code to her phone. No. I have a video of the actual procedure. No.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I actual procedure. No. I know, I know. I thought I'd make you guys nervous. A friend of the man's who wished to remain anonymous, yeah, because you're about to not be a friend, said he was always focused... Wait, this is the same guy who took an axe to his stuff. I didn't do it. Yeah, we don't know anonymous.

Was always focused on his appearance and how others perceived him. He's got billions of dollars, hasn't he? Unless you're Fermin from Roma, your dick ain't out a lot. Yeah. So not a big deal. The Argentinian, that is what we used to call him at Omega Diamonds. Yeah, he's not from Argentina.

He looked like a tango dancer. I know. So they called him the Argentinian. He looked like a tango dancer? What is the sentence? According to the man's friends, the Argentinian is what we called him because he slicked his hair back and looked like a tango dancer.

It's true. According to his friends, the only time he forgot about his lack of height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple times a day. Come on. He went out doing something he loved.

Trying to improve himself. I mean, just picture this guy, this little short guy. Read me how much I'm worth. See, that's what I'm saying. The Argentinian is worth. The Argentinian is worth two billion dollars. Money don't cover insecurity.

Like his penis was cut short. Okay. There's more about him, though. A statement on his website read, It's great sadness we confirm that our founder passed away. After living an exceptional life, he will be brought back home to Israel, and his final resting place, he will be dearly missed by us all. The diamond expert started his career in Africa in the early 20s. Is he buried face down?

He's a criminal, look at this Appeared to not go to university And first worked as a masseuse At the Hilton Hotel in Tel Aviv Wow Yeah Maybe he worked on us Moving up

A friend said Billionaire From masseuse to billionaire Yeah, there's something It turned out that he did have some talents Internationally, he was one of the biggest experts In valuing raw diamonds Turn out that he did have some talents. Internationally, he was one of the biggest experts in valuing raw diamonds. It turned out he did have some talents.

It turns out this is an unhappy ending. In 2015, he sold the world's most expensive diamond called the Blue Moon of Josephine to a Hong Kong businessman and convicted felon. And convicted felon. For? You guys want to guess how much? Yeah, let's guess how much. All right, so how much?

How much did she sell the world's most expensive guns? She knows. All right, Jay, so you and me. I'm going to say $45 million. Okay. I'm going to say $21 million. One of you guys is only $3 million. That's a pretty good guessing right there.

Okay, good. $48.4 million. Wow! Yes! The Belgian-Israel billionaire, who, again, he's not Argentinian, whose exact fortune is not publicly known. Say his name again.

Just repeat who he is. The Belgian-Israeli billionaire. You mean the Argentinian? Yeah. Oh, the Argentinian. Because he looked like a tango dancer. Was in trouble with authorities in 2013 along with his business partner. The pair prevented a tax evasion trial by agreeing a payout of 160 million euros.

This is how I think that the guys who did the Fyre Festival are going to die. Yeah. In a penis enlargement? In a penis enlargement mishap. What was the Fyre Festival? You're good. Thank God you don't know. But, I mean, do you see what's emerging here?

It's not just some hapless guy. I see what didn't emerge. It's his penis. Yeah, it's not just a hapless guy. It's like a guy who sold probably a blood diamond to a criminal. To a felon. So God punished you. Along with the guy in Wisconsin.

He put the turtle in the shell and that's your life. And bought off a judge with 103 million. There you go. However, the Belgium customs office suspected them of lying and giving them incomplete information about some of the diamonds imported from Angola and Congo. They claimed $4.6 billion in euros in unpaid taxes as well as $2 billion. That's a heavy tax bill. $2 billion fine.

$4.6 billion, yeah. Billion, that's like a million million per. And now it's like, this is how he's remembered. Died in a penis surgery. Yeah. Guys,

love yourself. It don't matter how much money you have. You gotta love yourself. It's really not that funny. No, but it's crazy. It's awesome. It's stupid.

And awesome. And penis, like at the heart of it. Well, I thought, you know, it's a it's crazy. It's awesome. It's stupid. And awesome. And penis at the heart of it. Well, I thought, you know, it's a man's show. It's an everyone show. I should try to bring something relevant. That guy's life story would be life's not that hard anymore. Guys, that's a show. Excellent.

That's a show. Beverly D'Angelo, thank you. Written by his friend. Yes. And business partner. Beverly D'Angelo, thank you for joining us on Dumb People Town. You are awesome and what a treat and it's just so good to see you again. It has been my pleasure and I hope we get to talk again soon.

You are a national treasure and you will come back soon. And oh shit. Wait, you come to mind. Yeah, check out her podcast. Which is? Here's what I'm doing. I'm recording a bunch of interviews and when I think they're all good enough, then I'll drop it.

So when it comes, you will come back on and we'll promote it. So you won't do it before I drop it? Oh no, we'll do it. You want to do it before I drop it? Yes. Specifically speaking Beverly. Specifically speaking.

Specifically speaking. Do we like that? I love it. Specifically speaking with Beverly D'Angelo? Specifically speaking with Beverly D'Angelo. It's a lot of... Specifically speaking with Beverly D'Angelo. You don't have to say it out loud. You just click on it and listen. It lookselo. Specifically speaking with Beverly D'Angelo. You don't have to say it out loud.

You just click on it and listen to it. It looks specific. Yeah. Okay. S-F-S-S-W-B apostrophe. No. B-D apostrophe A. Okay.

What about just B-D? B-D. I love it. And oh shit, we gotta get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound. Hunker down. It's Dump People Town.