Dumb People Town - Billy Wayne Davis - Almond Teats

Episode Date: November 24, 2020

This week Billy Wayne Davis comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a knifing that happens during an argument over almond milk. The second story is about a woman with needles where you would'nt expect. The final story is about a boy that tries to bring a grandparent back to life.

Skypains Avenue Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Wayne Davis. Billy Wayne Davis. I put the middle name in there too. another episode of dumb people town population population wayne davis billy wayne davis jay went all name in there jay's hyphenating your middle name is that right or wrong billy if it felt it's all about a feeling and it felt right it did feel kind of right it did feel right now you started playing guitar when you were 12 that is kenny wayne shepherd and i want you to stop hold on great guitarist though he is a great guitarist and i tried to play guitar and it wasn't fun to me and i think that's kind of what you need it to be i think you need to it to be fun to get real good at it so you know what eric clapton always said was the reason why

i play guitar was because it was fun. Had nothing to do about getting women, had nothing to do about being a god or any sort. It's like, it's fun. It's a fun thing. What's a little fun thing I can do? Bill, you know what I never noticed until now? You have the exact same tone and timbre to your voice as the legendary Randy Travis. Have you ever been told that before

yeah there's some like i can sing all right evidently but i don't and like i said i don't think it's fun it's a nightmare yeah i mean if you busted out three wooden crosses or just give us a tiny taste of travis just oh like i could just talk like like no we want to hear you sing just a touch. I don't like to sing, you guys. It's not fun. It's not fun. Can you sing about how you don't like to sing like Randy Travis?

As long as old men sit and talk about the weather. Randy Travis. No, it's this. As long as old women sit and talk about old men darling I'm gonna love you forever come on I know you know it I know every word just a little he's not going to this is like Carson

in 87 stop it this is like when you could do a little bit for this is like this is like when Carson tried to get Eddie Murphy to do comedy buckwheat and he's like hey man dude and Eddie Murphy to do comedy, Buckwheat or something, I think. And he's like, hey, man, do it. And Eddie Murphy was like, no.

And then Carson looked to the side and was like, is he shitting me? Was he 19 at the time? Yeah, he was like, no. It is, it's just more of a fear. Yeah. Like, I don't like. We don't need to start.

I sing all day long. Yes. Like, my wife would probably be like, why are you being so weird about this? Yeah. I sing all day. I'm like, I don't day long. My wife would probably be like, why are you being so weird about this? I sing all day. I'm like, I don't like it. I understand. Well, look, we got business to take care of.

Here's the big business of the day, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts. And it's not really just because of where you grew up, and I love your bit that you did on comedy. We're going to ask you a question about that when it comes to a special question. But do you think the world is getting dumber? Have we sort of, is like global warming, has there been the dumbification of the world?

Or has it always been this dumb and now we're just hearing about it more because of like social media? No, I think that my parents are both, like a lot of people in my family are educators this is something they have harped on for since i can remember is that like even the system the educational system is being dumbed down in a way that's not uh they were like this is it's not good what they're doing right so it's we're we're heading down a slippery, dumb slope. It's basically a slip and slide down a mountain. Yeah, I don't like to believe in conspiracies, but those are systems that people put in place.

So they're by design. So by design, we're trying to dumb ourselves. Not us. Someone is trying to dumb us down. Assist whoever's behind the system and benefits off of our stupidity. The people running the system are great, kind, caring individuals. Well, I think they're dumb, too. There's like a laziness to that kind of system where they're like, how can we make this the easiest on us?

Let's make them dumber than us. And you're like, well, you guys, that's not a huge bar to start with. That's right. You know what I mean? That's right. It's like telling people if intelligence was abs and we basically said to people, you don't have to do sit-ups anymore. They're not going to do it anymore. No one's going to get them.

No one's going to have abs. Nope. No. It's not going to happen. So you got to work that muscle. And there are dumb... What we understand in this show is that there are dumb stories that pop up all the time. Our dumb ears on the ground. Our fans send them to us.

You want to jump into one? Let's do it right now. Let's do one of these stories. I love this. This is, yes. Here we go. Ready? Yeah.

Sent in by Liz Haggerty, at Liz Haggerty. Love her. I know. She's dynamite. She sounds like she's carrying on the tradition of her detective father who's been missing for 10 years, but probably still alive. Yes. Dick Haggerty. This is a show. It's like on after your guys's favorite cop show on us it's called haggerty

right it is uh okay here we go an argument over whether well for just the title alone here we go ready yep i should read you the headline. Man knifed. There's a comment here. Hold on. Man knifed kin during almond milk row. Yeah. So you're going to go, instead of fight, you'll go row, but instead of brother, you'll go kin.

Yeah. Or cousin. It's odd. And look, how has, and I, is Greg Almond dead? Greg Almond odd. And look, how has... Is Greg Allman dead? Greg Allman is dead. Now, how in his lifetime... I think he didn't live long enough for it to become popular, but they should have had Allman Milk.

Allman Brothers Milk. Allman Brothers Milk. Yeah, they totally should have. I mean, you guys, if they would have happened 10 years later, they would have had Almond Brothers. Almond Brothers milk. Is that Midnight Rider? Is that the Almond Brothers?

Yeah, that's just Greg Almond. Oh, okay. An argument over whether almond milk or whole milk was the superior milk turned violent. As it should. I'm going to tell you something, Billy. I get this. Well, one of them isn't even goddamn milk.

I know. That's a whole lawsuit that's happening in our country right now. Do you know how long it is? That may have been what brought the violence. That's what brought the violence. What is actually milk? And he's like, I have to kill you now. You done stepped over the line.

Someone said, do you know how long it takes To get your fingers Onto the small little almond teats To squeeze that Tiny almond nipples Are very hard to squeeze Tiny almond nipples My favorite ska band I was going to say

That was my favorite Don Hose They're still touring They are still touring They are still touring COVID Them and Mustard Plug Pennywise

And Real Big Fish And Goldfinger They don't even know I don't think they know about COVID. That's how. No. They're like, I don't understand what everybody's saying. We got a full touring schedule happening.

We're doing Warped Tour. Tiny almond milk nipples. Is Warped Tour, I mean, provided we had a normal world, is that still going on? No. It's going on as much as the Horde Tour is going on. The Horde. Ozzfest. Remember Ozzfest?

Oh, yeah. Did you ever go to the festival in Murfreesboro, Tennessee? I went to the Bonnaroo thing. I went a couple years ago after Live Nation bought it and was like, is this it? And they're like, no, it used to be like a festival and now it's a thing. Yeah. I was like, oh, okay. It used to be organic and fun, but you done came in and screwed it up.

Yeah. I was like, oh, okay. Because I was like, this seems like the fair if Microsoft ran it. Yep. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Well, the milk argument turned violent when a Florida man allegedly slashed his cousin with a pocket knife, according to an arrest report. We've talked about how there's gators in every water in Florida.

Every person has a pocket knife. Yeah. That's not even, you can get on a plane in in Florida. Every person has a pocket knife. Yeah. That's not even... You can get on a plane in Fort Lauderdale with a pocket knife and people, they see it and they're just like, no, that's like his keys. Pocket knives matter primarily one time in your entire life. And that is on Christmas morning when you're trying to open up some kid's box or like package of things and you're like, who has a pocket knife?

Right. And it's always Uncle Ken. Did you have a pocket knife growing up? I have one right now. Of course you do. You have a machete. Do you have a machete, Jeff? No, I have four machetes. He's in this whole thing.

I didn't pick the thing. It kind of just happened. The machete picks you. Because he does behind the bastards all the time and somehow talking about horrible people from history turned into him and Robert Evans collecting weapons. Am I wrong? No, you're not.

There was no intention there. It was like an offhand comment and people were like, they should have weapons and people send them to us. Yeah, but then you started giving him weapons. Yeah, but then you started giving him weapons. Yeah. That was a good joke.

They should have weapons. They should have weapons. I bought this giant Home Depot brand Battleaxe for $30 off. It's not an actual Battleaxe, but it is like that

kind of... Don't talk about your wife that way. It gets the job done. It's like $30, so I thought that was funny. I could just order that off and it came to my house. Yeah, it's funny when you do it. I don't think it's funny when a lot of this country does it. You can have it.

The Proud Boys can't. I hope they also just don't send them to Florida. If it's Southern California, LA, this guy's doing it as a bit yeah somebody in like florida they're like no he's got a grudge he's taking it to a polling station we don't we don't ship there right is what they should say police responding sunday afternoon this is a sunday afternoon milk fight yeah if you haven't knifed your cousin and you live in florida then they make you leave uh they responded sunday afternoon to a disturbance at a home in lehigh acres and they arrested justin garcia for aggravated battery a felony justin was freed yesterday

according to the victim he and justin engaged in a verbal verbal argument about what milk is better almond milk or whole milk now how can it get it get that passionate? Better on what terms? Because just in terms of milk, whole milk is way better. Yeah, but I mean, almond milk, you can put almond milk in your coffee and it's still good. 100%. Yes, I agree completely. This was not an argument about milk, Billy. I have oat milk in my fridge. No.

No, this had nothing to do with milk. Right? I agree. This was just like, give me something to slash your ass about the dispute became physical when justin became enraged at the victim for disagreeing with him so it's not even bummed it's about the principle that he doesn't agree and how much did he he probably did agree because he's like whole milk is better and the guy in his brain was like i don't know i mean i could take it or leave it but he's probably right but he's like just for the sake of the argument i would be like

nah almond milk's better and boom or he could just but he's probably right. But he's like, just for the sake of the argument, I would be like, nah, almond milk's better. And boom. Or he could just say, he's like, man, this is pissing him off so much. Keep digging deeper. I'm just going to keep being like, no, almond milk is like, it's superior to the cow. It's way better. Thicker, thicker. I'm going to kill you.

I'm going to kill you. Say it again. Say it's thicker. It's thicker. Police and court records. I bet when he stabbed him, there was like a moment after when the guy was like, I really, this is my fault. I didn't see that. Yeah, because nothing helps bring someone to your side of the argument like a knifing.

Yeah, I was wrong, man. Police and court records do not indicate whether Justin or the victim was advocating in favor of which milk. See, the court should get their story straight. It's someone's job to find out. But I think we will figure it out before the story's over. Go ahead, Dan. Well, do you think the person getting knifed or the person knifing likes whole milk more than almond milk? The person knifing is a whole milk person all the way.

That's exactly what I think. Almond milk is too evolved. Right. Yeah, almond milk. Oh, no. The person knifing is a whole milk person all the way. That's exactly what I think. Almond milk is too evolved. Right. Yeah. Almond milk is a... Almond milk takes the cow out of the equation, and that's got upset people. Although it's way more interesting if you are an almond milk proponent and you carry a pocket knife. You're a more interesting character

in a story. Sure. Did they do, like, any field sobriety tests? No. Sunday afternoon. You know both of them were drunk. Both of them were drunk. Sure. Did they do like any field sobriety test? No. Sunday afternoon. You know both of them were drunk. Both of them were drunk. That's assumed. Okay. That's important to me. Almond milk is more sustainable. Very true.

Yes. We could live on almond milk forever. So he gets mad at him. They don't say who liked what milk. Justin punched his cousin in the forehead. Odd place to punch somebody. That's going to hurt your hand more than it is going to hurt them. Yeah, you don't see a lot of boxers going like three jabs straight to the forehead.

Or to me, it's the equivalent of I've seen people punch through walls before. Like that's definitely something. But it would be like someone hauling off and trying to hit a doorframe well listen to this whole sentence justin punched it's not a bad strategy like if someone punched you in the forehead even if it didn't hurt you'd be like why the fuck what just happened more of a confusing and violent this person's insane this is insane well you're already in a milk fight so yeah like don't start casting aspersions. You've pushed it too far. Hey, man, don't bring a pocket knife to a milk. Justin punched his cousin in the forehead, prompting the victim who they don't name, but I'm just going to start calling Kyle, prompting Kyle to strike Justin in the shoulder,

which makes me think these two had a no face rule when they first started their fight. No faces. But he did hit him in the forehead. That's face. I don't know. That's face, Dan. Why would you come back with the shoulder? I don't fight. No faces. But he did hit him in the forehead. That's face. I don't know. That's face, Dan. Why would you come back with the shoulder? I don't know.

They don't know how to punch each other. Shoulder is playful. I think that's what's happening is we don't have two athletes here. Right. These guys aren't boxers. Yeah. Justin then allegedly pulled out a pocket knife

with a three-inch blade. It was small and blue and began chasing his cousin around the driveway and then throughout the front yard of the Lehigh Acres residence. So it's a Benny Hill short. Just the idea of these people running around. Also, enter in our new friend. We'll come in a second.

When Justin caught up to his yakety h second. When Justin caught up to his... Yakety Hicks. When Justin caught up to his cousin, he asked his kin, who's writing this? He asked his kin. He asked his kin. Hey, Paul, it's my kin. Did you ever refer to your family as kin?

No. Not even in the movie Next of Kin, where they were all making those animal noises to each other with Patrick Swayze? I was going to mention it. It's like when you threaten someone in a city. Have you ever seen the movie Next to Kin? And then they're like, oh, okay.

I loved that movie when I was a kid. Yeah, I did too. Do you know this? Dude, Billy knows what I'm talking about. They're in the city avenging... It's Liam Neeson doing Taken, but he's a hillbilly. Right.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Patrick Swayze's in it. Hillbilly Taken? Hillbilly Taken. It's great. And they make all these animal noises. That's how they communicate with each other.

Because you shouldn't be able to hear, like, pigs communicating in the city. Dan, I've never seen that. As the audience, are you on the side of the hillbillies? Yes. You're on the side of the hillbillies. Oh, 100%. See? You are.

Wait, so because coked out city folk took their kidnapped daughters? Yes, it's like if Judgment Night had a retribution to it. It's like if Wall Street, if they just kidnapped some kids and made them coke slaves. Yeah, like Boiler Room. Right. Okay. All right. It is not far off from that but it's liam neeson

you know like key and peel like doing liam neeson shit early the liam neeson's yes but he's got it like that he's got a real he he kind of nails the accent because he reminds me of a couple people i knew growing up where i'm like this is like accurate. I agree with you. That's fucking Neeson, man. Liam Neeson is doing a hillbilly. He's doing a redneck. What would you guess? Probably 91? 90! Yeah, I remember my hillbilly-ish,

my most hillbilly uncle really speaking to him on a level that it didn't speak to anybody else. This is where we take the city. Hillbillies don't take any guff type of thing. Next to Ken, what year, Jason? Do you want to guess? I'm guessing 91. Do you want to guess?

Guess, Billy. I would say early 90s for sure. You got to pick a city. 92, then. I'm going to say 94. I'm telling you in one say. Dan says 91. Where was it?

It's not telling me. Oh, my God, Jay. Welcome back to Jason Can't Google. You've really fallen off. You used to be so good. Didn't he, Rand? So bad. 89.

Oh! Same year as Batman and Beetlejuice. Liam Neeson was making movies back in 89? Yes. Liam Neeson is like, and I'm going to throw a golf. And here's what I want to, I want to play a little game with you guys. Cause Dan gets to play all the games.

Sure. Except for on Patreon. Except for the Patreon. How many stars? No. How, what percentage of rotten tomatoes did it get? Oh,

probably 43. Dan says 43. No, you'll all go Obama. 44. 44. What do you think? Billy,

what do you think? 36 is the first number that popped in my head. 51. Get your answers in, Townies, because the movie Next of Kin on Rotten Tomatoes got a 56% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Well done. Hillbillies love Rotten Tomatoes. Okay, so get this. They run around, they're punching each other, so get this. They run around. They're punching each other. No faces. Foreheads are allowed. Fine.

When Justin caught up to his cousin Kyle, he slashed his kin on the left side of his torso, causing a small laceration. Oh, God. At this point, this is where I start to love it, the victim's uncle interceded. There we go.

You too. Hey, Dan, Dan, I think... Hey, this is stay far. This is stay far. Right. When you say interceded you mean woke up from the couch porch started cheering one of them on couch on the porch the porch couch it hit the filter so he could intervene yeah yeah they they they stepped on his foot when they were running by hey what the fuck you guys doing then hey all right at this point the victim's uncle interceded holding back justin and separating the cousins until police arrived and i imagine he has one

by one forehead the other by the other forehead and the one is just swinging wildly and he can't get the uncle told cops he was working on a car in the driveway so the whole time they're running around this driveway he's just still changing the oil on this car. He's putting like a new starter underneath. He's working on the car. He's talking about his divorce to himself. The uncle told cops he's working on the car when he heard Justin and the victim victim argue over almond milk after being read his rights. Justin claimed that quote the victim came at him with a stick. That'd be Kyle prompting him to punch his cousin in

self-defense. Kyle said that Justin thinks he is better than the whole family, and now we found out what this argument is really about, right? Yeah, that's Justin's in almond milk, but that's what I was going to say, but that would mean Justin has the knife and is in the almond milk. I don't know, man. Weird. And he probably does think he's better than the whole family. By the way, he might be better than the whole family. No, I'm not denying that.

I'm just saying he probably has an attitude that they're aware of. So what you're saying, Billy Wayne Davis, is that you can be better than the whole family. Just don't think it. Here's the thing is, yeah, you don't bring that to the table. Thank you. No. Right. If you know you're better than the whole family, show up late.

Keep that to yourself. All you have to do is show up late for Thanksgiving and leave early. That's all you need to do. They'll talk about you when you're gone. Oh, yeah. You're the worst. Also, if you ever say the phrase, you ain't no better than me, you've automatically made that person better than you.

For sure. Yes. Do you ever get that in your own family? People who are like, oh, man, big Hollywood guy. Big Hollywood. You think you're better than me, you big Hollywood guy. A couple of drinks in them. It doesn't take a couple of drinks it's just yeah no there's yeah there's you just see a certain look as they approach like here

it comes a lot of it is like what i what my favorite part is they don't think i'll say stuff back and then i say stuff back and they're just like oh and i'm like i'm still from here yeah exactly right they didn't kick that out of me yeah and they're like oh yeah there's a reason i do like you you just needed to remind them of it well kyle kyle stated that justin began to argue with him about quote all their issues there's a lot of it's a lot more than milk and then it came out in the almond milk. A search of Justin turned up the knife in his pants pocket. Why would you not get rid

of the knife? Yeah, throw it man, which means makes me feel like it's special to him. The weapon was compensated and placed in an evidence bag. We will get out of here. Story number one with this. How old spilled? How old is Justin? Now here's what we gather gather he thinks he's better than everybody else he's got a fighting about their issues he has a small blue pocket knife and we

think he's on the almond milk train how old do you think but he could be a whole milk guy and he's sick of everybody else liberal and up their milk sure billy where do you can guess first tig which is the spot in between me and Jason, or third? Where do you want to guess? I don't understand what you just said. You get to guess this guy's age. We're going to guess it right now. Do you want to go first, third, or second? How old do you think he is?

19. 19 years old from Billy Wayne Davis. Damn, I was going to go young, too. Do it. All right, 24. 24 from Jason's club. 17 and shirtless. 17 and shirtless. 17 and shirtless. And toothless. 17 and shirtless. I like that.

In Seattle. Justin is 30 years old. Wow. I was the closest. A lot of time for him to think he's better than everybody. Divorce twice. That's what I'm going to say. I love that you guys thought he was like a teenager that thought he was better than the whole family.

Guys, his kids are 13. He seemed angsty. Yeah. There was a little something to it. It's right under the surface. You're either 68 or you're 17. You know what I mean? You're on the upswing or the downswing.

You're at the same point in the slope, but you haven't reached your peak yet. Well, that's story number one, my friends. There you go. Story number one, down in the books, Billy Wayne Davis is with us, the perfect person to be going through all this stuff. It's Dumb People Town.

Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Look us down. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Sklar Brothers here and Daniel Van Kirk. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. We got Billy Wayne Davis with us.

Before we get to stuff that he's doing, we want to mention a couple things. We've got live Dumb People Town. Well, this will be after. This is after. Yeah, this is after. We had a live Dumb People Town. But we do have a live Dumb People Town. So let me mention this. We mentioned, we revealed on our last uh at the live show we haven't revealed it live on this

show yet we revealed to the audience at that show so when that drops you guys will all know but we have a special guest on another live dump people town the holiday dump people town party which is on uh december 12th that's a saturday uh and it will do it up again these are the most fun things in the world please get on it get your tickets event bright.com live dumb people town get on it right now december 12th uh and what else dan what's going on for you buddy anything else you want to promote so i'm going to figure out the holidays go to danielvankirk.com for all the stuff that I'm doing. I do game nights. I do bingo. We had a great one last month with Halloween.

Halloween go. So we'll be doing a Thanksgiving themed one this month. Go to DanielVanKirk.com to just have a good time. Turkingo. Yeah, you can win stuff. Billy Wayne, tell us how people can follow you, how they can check out your stuff, and what should we be directing these people to?

If you Google my name name you can choose whatever way you want to get in touch or follow me that seems to be the best way to promote that sure great i uh i i've also um i'm touring hardcore no mask uh mostly basements yeah you like it it feels very nervous for no i just only basements. Yeah. You like it in the close space. This feels very nervous. No, just only basements. Only basements. And low ceilings. Wow. We want a lot of humidity. Oh, my God.

That seems counterproductive. Seems weird. And a fan just to blow all expectorant around. I like that. Just to get it. And then we do like a group kiss. Oh, God. That's your closer.

I don't know if this is the best there was the aerosol tour it is electric oh god i i thought i would get some pushback from from like my agents and managers but they were all like they were like they're happy to have people working they were like money money money i love when you're gonna be the covid i'm just kidding when do you think i know i know you are when do you think we will get back to touring around yep i don't a year they i don't know do you miss it though like like not as much as i thought i would i'll'll be honest, because of stuff like this. Yeah, this is fun. And if I'm being completely honest, it's the most balanced my whole life has ever been my whole adult life.

Because it's for the first time in my adult life, I'm not going nine different ways. Right. And I've been able to get a lot of my shit straight which is interesting it's funny because i mean we have kids i don't know if you have kids but uh yes yeah so i mean it is great to be around the kids people ask like do you miss the shows i miss the shows i miss i miss doing a great show on the road and then hanging with fans afterwards. Like that to me is so joyful and fun. And it reminds us why we do what we do. I don't like getting on a plane. I don't like waking up in the morning and figuring out where am I going to park my car and then coming back

and then getting back early and waking up. I don't love that. I'm not just, it's not, I'm not a fan of that, but the actual standing on stage and doing comedy and the show is good is great, but it's not always, you know, it's, you don't know what you're going to get. There are times where you don't know what you're going to get,

but so I missed the one element of it, but I'm happy to be around so I can relate to you. For sure. I miss the traveling part. If I'm being honest, I like to go. Oh, two different places.

Yes. I like the travel aspect to get there. But once you're there, don't you love being like, okay, this is the oldest. Where's the best breakfast spot? This is the best breakfast spot. This is the oldest restaurant in this town. This is somewhere that everyone's like, you got to check this out. Jay and I love writing comedy about all that stuff and then bringing that to the first part of our act.

That's one of my, that's, my wife has always been like like how do you just go into a city and in the first 10 minutes oh because i really love doing that's right i love being in the new city because i'm like what is this place about how what are these people dealing with what are they thinking of why are they pissed why is the one vegan restaurant in bloomington, Indiana called the Owlry, named after owls, which are carnivorous animals. That seems odd. It's weird. Especially in the college town. Yeah, exactly. You should be better

at that. Are you guys ready to start? We're recording this right before Halloween, so we have some stories that I thought would be fun for that. But when is what? So think back to when Halloween was. Yeah, or make it all year round. We're scared most of the time

anyway. This was sent in by Jeffrey Alberghini. Alberghini. There it is. At JJ Alberghini. That's G-H-I-N-I. I love a good pesto Alberghini, I'm telling you. And I like it al dente. Alberghini is like an affordable Lamborghini. It's right. It's a 23 000

lamborghini knock off open open like this even do the doors open down instead of up just kind of a hassle yeah you gotta climb on the door to get into the car all right you ready yes a woman has been left shocked after a ct scan showed that she had two metallic needles what disclaimer for graphic this okay this would be graphic yeah she had two metallic needles embedded deep in her brain how do you not know that that has happened well I don't know. It's cut off the part of her brain that remembers that somebody. Or maybe just the part that cares about such things. Yeah. She's like,

it acts like piercing her pain. Yeah. Or just her apathy. They go to pull it out. And she's like, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no. Put that back in. I'm really enjoying not caring about stuff. Starting to remember stuff. Put that back in.

That's it. The darkness is coming back. Get it back in. The Chinese woman was involved in a minor car accident and advised to get a CT scan to make sure there was no damage to her head. By the way, a minor car accident. Yes. No, so the car accident isn't where she got the needles in the head.

That's where she was thought to like, hey, check to see if you have a concussion. And the fact that they found these, it's like trying to find a needle in a Chinese woman's head. There you go. It's very difficult to do. Fortunately. Well, it's actually easier than a haystack. It's a little easier than a haystack.

Well, because you can't CT scan a haystack. That's right. Fortunately. Although none of us know if you can or can't. No, I think you probably can't because it's got to be big enough to slide. Unless it's like a... Not with this healthcare system, you can't. No, I think you probably can't because it's got to be big enough to slide unless it's like a... Not with this healthcare system, you can't.

No, thank you. No one can afford it. You get yourself a bail and you put the bail on the little track. Stop. Dan, of the four of us, Billy is probably the only one who's lost something in a haystack. No, that's not true. Best job I ever had was bailing hay. Dan! You did not bail

hay. That is a lie. If that's the best job you've ever had, bailing hay. Damn! You did not bail hay. The hell I didn't. That is a lie. If that's the best job you've ever had, you quit doing what you're doing right now and I can get you a hail bail. I can get myself. I'll go out to couple farms and start working next summer. You'd start every day with a full field

and at the end of the day, it's done. It felt so gratifying. And then the next day... With a pitchfork, you put them in piles? No, it shoots out of a baler. It's in a thing and then you stack them oh you as you gotta go it's like you're on a trailer hitched behind a bail no but a haystack is like a mound of hay not a that's what i think well yeah but sometimes your baler cords broke and then you'd have yourself a big

old pile of hay you guys you gotta bail some hay i'm gonna make your kids bail hay Okay Sweet I'm down Have you ever bailed hay? It is Yeah I was raised on a cattle farm Okay yeah So you've done it So that was just a thing We did every year

Yeah It was certainly not fun So it wasn't a job No It was like Go Billy Go bail that hay And you're like

Oh god Snakes and shit Yeah it's not Snakes Yeah and rodents All the time. Yeah. It's like a little field of mice.

Is it easier to find a snake in a haystack? They find you. Yeah, that's usually the way it works. Hey, where are the snakes at? You're like, oh yeah, there's a snake right there. There's a snake there. Give it some mice. Well, fortunately for her, there was no trauma related to the accident,

but the CT scan showed something stranger. Two needles about how many inches do you guys think long? In her head and embedded deep into her brain. Billy is shaking his head now. Oh, I don't like this. If it's more than regular needle. What is regular in this situation? What do you want to go with?

What's your guess, Billy? I'm just thinking like, what's my guess? Yeah. Well, the way you said it, I'm just going to use context clues like we're taking a test. I'm going to say five inches. Five inches. Jay? So I would love to give this.

You want them to be knitting needles. Yes. But then how would you not notice them? I would love to constantly nudge this woman about oh I understand stop needling her I get it there I would say three inches

okay I'm gonna say seven inches is the big old needle you guys your law answers are locked in but think about a seven inch go from the top of your head and then go down seven inches. That'd be like into your mouth. All right.

To be fair, you guys have kids. Yeah. I bet, Daniel, you've never seen an epidural needle. Yeah. Have you? It's like this big. It's big. It's fucking nuts.

It's huge. Yeah, it's big. Terrifying. It's hard in my fridge. It is insane. Terrifying. She had two needles embedded deep in her brain that were just shy of two inches in length. Mine was three inches.

I know. Very good. When you think about that, and then you put that into your head, it goes from seeming small to seeming very big. What's the gauge? Yeah. 4.9 millimeters in diameter. Man man i don't know what that means it's a small needle but why is it in her head according to the chinese website so who did she

go see a magic show that went wrong the woman has already reported the findings of the ct scan to local police she report she reportedly dan worst acupuncturist ever. That's what I was just thinking. I've been to the acupuncture and just forgot them when I left before. You walked out and you're like, oh shit, I got six of these in my hand. I just pulled them out.

Do you guys remember... You pulled them out and some woman in Guatemala was like, ah, god damn it. But do you guys remember? This might be a deep cut for some listeners, but they can go Google it. Hard knocks.

James Harrison got like 276 needles put into his back. Yeah. And that's like his normal. Now, I've never done acupuncture. James Harrison also bench pressed a truck. I've done. So I had a woman. Didn't he murder someone too? No, I've never done acupuncture. Tim Harrison also bench-pressed a truck. I've done... So, I had a woman... Didn't he murder someone, too?

No, no, no. He did not. That was Ray Lewis. No, you're thinking of the white suit. That was Dante Stallworth who ran over someone. Ray Lewis. Ray Lewis, but whatever. You all named nine different NFL players.

Lots of people. That was Ray Carruth. No, he had the person try and murder his wife. Whatever. The NFL does a lot of murder. But I had a woman in New York who was my acupuncturist and my friend introduced me and said this, she was my favorite,

like one of my favorite people in the world. Sure. Older Chinese woman who was Chone Kim was her name. Chone, not Joan. Chone. Chone. It's a cool name. Choney loves jachi oh my god

that's flar brothers all caps thumbs up emoticon she was but with a wink uh you know and she she used to make her own like she used to sew her own thing she would get it from chone choan fabric oh my god no she was amazing but i can't get your mic turned off it was amazing. But I can't- You're gonna get your mic turned off. It came out of love. I can't even believe how good it felt. Like I was not a big person on Eastern medicine and whatnot, but this, I had lower back issues and lower back problems.

And the idea of putting a needle in the top of your head and the bottom of putting a needle in the top of your head and the bottom of your feet to control what's happening in your lower back. Did she put electrical currents through it a little bit? She did. She attached it to a little kind of like a tiny battery and sent some currents through it. And it felt great. Truthfully, I was like, I'm sold on this. It has to be the right person. The problem is she was so good that when I went to try and do it here in Los Angeles, I couldn't find anyone who was even close to her level of what she was like a master. Chinatown.

Amazing. Well, I've never had it done. Go to Chinatown. What's that? Go to Chinatown. Yeah. Chinatown. Yeah, Jake.

Go there, Jake. Go to Chinatown. Stop. So she reportedly has a suspicion as to the origin of the needles in her head, but she did not want to reveal anything at this time. Okay, so she knows what happened. She got into a knitting fight. Oh, well, or she, yeah, but like doesn't remember it.

A sewing circle gone wrong. Yeah. Sewing circle scrum. Doctors believe the needles must have been deliberately or accidentally inserted into her head when she was very young everything happens that's how everything happens deliberately or intentionally cover your bases deliberately or accidentally yeah you're right that's how everything happened but they say that regardless it probably happened when she was very young because judging by their diameter, they wouldn't have been able to pierce a skull or pierce a fully developed skull.

And also there's no skull or scalp injury. And she has no recollection of any serious head trauma or any head injury. This is where if you believe in aliens, you point to this as like there were aliens. Or you say to yourself this is a chinese woman yes no no do not no i'm gonna tell you i don't think you should i don't think you should finish anything thank you billy wayne davis all i'm saying is that there was a straight there was a time in china where they did not want female Chinese babies. You think they did this while they tried to kill her? Yes.

Whether deliberately or accidentally, it's possible. He went in a really great direction. You did turn the boat very well. We were very worried. You turned the junk around well. Doctors say the needles are unlikely to cause any problems because of how thin they are

and the area of the brain they are located in which also makes me wonder like how much of my brain do i not use like just cut that part out you're fine yeah you're fine i don't know you guys like we were talking about the nfl like so much of it thank you that's very true and and this is spend like 20 minutes with duncan trestle and you'll realize how little of our brain we're actually using amen the woman is not alone in this particular case as we earlier reported about a 76 year old man who had a knife blade removed from his head after how many years i'm gonna let you guys this is a little side story that they dipped in i love it he was stabbed during a fight he's 76 years old Let me just a quick question. Was it over oat

milk? It could have been. Okay. So he was stabbed in the head with a knife blade. How long was it in his head before it was removed? I'll tell you this. The farmer had the four inch long rusty knife surgically removed from his brain. Jesus. How many years

was it stuck in his head before he did something about it? Billy, do you want to go first, Tigger third? Yes, I have a question. Sure. Was it rusty when it went in? No. This is over time.

I think over time it got rusty. Huh. I would assume. I don't know. I would say 35 years. Okay, 35 years. 35 years. So 76, it happened to him when he was...

So, I'm going to say this. Whatever that is, 41. Good call. So, we, as parents for our kids in public school, we have to sign up for something called the parent portal, where you would then have to link to your kid, and that's LAUSD public school stuff. It's boring, but I just want you to know

there was a problem with my name, and I just want you to know is there was a problem with my, my name and I wasn't connected to my son. And I procrastinated for about six weeks dealing with, I just got to it like yesterday. And I was like, I need to deal with this. And I thought the whole time I have to deal with this. I can't imagine having a blade in my head and procrastinating that as long as I'm about to say how long I think he did it. 45 years. 45 years. So not to piggyback on what Jay was saying, but my youngest daughter in LA USD, I tried to sign her up and they give her a pin number and they give her an ID number and a pin number and we have her student ID. We can't find the pin. I think it's in this Chinese woman's head.

I think we need to get out. I'm going to say this thing has been in his head. If it happened when they're young, maybe this is just happening to young kids. I think it's been in there 70 years. 70 years. He's been since a six-year-old. He got into a knife fight when he was six. You don't know his life.

You don't know what he had. It happened when he was 21 and he got drunk. Gilbert and his knife. It don't know it yet. It happened when he was 21 and he got drunk. Gilbert and his knife. It's a children's book. The knife has been lodged in his head until it was removed for 26 years. Wow. 26 years. So, like Jay said.

How do you sleep? Yeah, exactly. How are you? I don't know. You're in your 50s at that point. You've accepted how life is. You're just like, hey, man. Yeah, but listen, because of the blade in his brain, he had not only lost vision in his right eye, but also suffered near

full paralysis on his left arm and leg. You're putting up with way too much. But do you think he connected it to the knife? God, I hope so. It was a four-inch blade. He's like, like man getting old yeah exactly i'm just not feeling the way i would i've got so much to do this week agent right they remove the knife and he's like oh my left hand i feel great

you know what i keep meaning to do that but i got something else too busy to never catch up on the knife crazy yeah all right that's friend. Story number two down in the book. Can I give us a tease on three? The rust part is fascinating to me. There's a lot of oxygen, I guess, in our brain. Oxygen and water. And moisture. And moisture.

Yeah, that's fascinating. Our third story, a little bit of hint, bad stuff at the graveyard. Bad stuff at the graveyard. I don't expect good stuff to happen at the graveyard. All right, when we come back, people who listen to, who are Patreon members, we're going to have a very special Q&A that will only live on our Patreon page.

If you're not a member of the Patreon, there's all sorts of great new stuff on there. We've launched it and we've sort of re-canoodled it to fit this world that we live in. So please go to, if you look up Dumb People Town on Patreon, you can become a member and there's great new content. Patreon.com slash Dumb People Town. You're right.

Sign up. There's all kinds of levels and you'll get this awesome exclusive interview like we're going to do with him and drop onto our Patreon page. All right. We'll be right back after this. Hey, guys. Welcome back. Stick around Make us down for more Dumb People Town City officials said a man... I hope it is. Good for him. I don't... We don't need the heat. We're just making a dumb little podcast. Send it in off your laptop. City officials said a man was arrested after causing damages to a local cemetery.

Authorities responded to reports of vandalism at a church cemetery on Huckleberry Springs Road... I'm your Huckleberry now. ...around 2.30 on Monday. They don't say p.m. or a.m. and I feel like that is a big that's a huge factor in what's happening on a Sunday, Sunday night, Monday morning. Yes, it's a very different thing.

Very different afternoon on. Yes. Yeah. When the officers arrived on scene, they noticed extensive damage to the cemetery, including dug up spots in the ground and broken headstones. Now you guys know this billy i don't know if i ever told you but i used to be a grave digger that's right and so i remember there's a part of in rochelle there's a part of the cemetery which was for there was two weird parts

one was called the poppers section where they buried people who didn't like have anything so you would have to put these rods into the ground to find their bones so that you didn't dig a plot there. Jesus. And then there was another part that was for there. You would put this rod and then you'd be like, oh, that's ribs. And then there was another part where the gypsies were buried and nothing grew there.

And so one night, like some high schoolers, there was like this kiln. They like hooked it up to a truck just for no good reason and like ripped it out of the ground. Can't believe that. And then two nights later, we came back to the cemetery or like in the morning to work, me and John Loggins, and brand new kiln put up there. And sometimes you'd like see people out by the gypsy graves like in the middle of the night. So I've seen like weird stuff. It's like don't fuck with dead people. At a cemetery. How dead people at a cemetery like how lame do you mean nothing grew there it was all mud everywhere else was uh like grass really nice plush grass but where the gypsy graves were it was just mud

that's why wouldn't that sounds like the groundskeepers no john logan's worked his ass off every day trying to keep that place nice. And he was Kenny Loggins' son. Brother. Mud is gypsy grass. There you go. Mud is gypsy grass. Okay, so they roll up and they find dug up spots in the ground and broken headstones. A witness told officers a man had been seen around the property and damaging the cemetery.

Officers identified the suspect as Danny Frazier. Who told officers... I'm going to interrupt because I like that small town interaction right there where the witness is like, Yeah, man, I've seen somebody doing that. What was his name? It seems like they shouldn't be doing that. They're doing that.

I think it was Danny Frazier. Is that little Danny Frazier? How old is Danny Frazier now? 37. Little Danny Frazier. He told little Danny Frazier? How old is Danny Frazier now? 37. Little Danny Frazier. He told officers he did destroy some of the property in an effort to, because it's Halloween time, resurrect his dead grandmother who's buried at the cemetery. I got news to you, Danny. She doesn't want to be resurrected.

And you know what? Now that you did this, even if she didn't want to be resurrected, she's embarrassed by you. She comes up. She's like, you have. Clean this up, dummy. Little Danny. Little Danny Frazier. Officer said the cost to repair the damages would be roughly $30,000.

Frazier. That's definitely money that little Danny Frazier does not have. Down goes Frazier. Down goes Frazier. Was arrested and charged with vandalism and criminal trespassing. We will now play a game we don't get to play very often here in dumb people time we will get out of here on this no whose home state oh did this happen in was it tennessee missouri or illinois illinois

where is danny fraser out on huckleberry springs Road. This could be anywhere. I was going to say, that doesn't narrow any of those things. I know. That's why this game is so tough. Thinking that he can bring his grandma back to life in the middle of the night or afternoon. We don't even know. Billy Wayne Davis. Man, I'm going to guess Tennessee. Okay.

Because it sounds like some moonshine. Jay, what do you think? I'm going to guess Tennessee because it sounds like some moonshine. Jay, what do you think? I'm going to say Missouri. I think that's our home state. I think it's our home state too. I'm going to say Missouri. It could be, man. It could be.

That's the boot heel of Missouri. That's Cape Girardeau. All right. We'll leave everybody on this because Danny Frazier missed his grandma at 2.30 in the afternoon slash middle of the night in Knoxville, Tennessee.

There you go. 40 minutes from my house. The fitting way Rocky Top Tennessee Conway, baby. It's probably why he stopped digging as he hit rock and he just started

knocking over yeah he hit the rocky top he took the rocks off the top that's right Billy Wayne Davis dude thank you so much for joining us today

anytime you guys all of everybody out there to follow him check him out check out and when the special comes out you'll let us know

and we'll tell everyone about where they can see can't wait to hang with you again man it shows good to see you yes God I love you

miss you guys thank you miss you too alright and oh shit shows. Good to see you, brother. God, I love you. Miss you guys. Thank you. Miss you too. All right. And oh shit, guys, we need to get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound. Hung it down.

It's Dump People Town