Dumb People Town - Brody Stevens - This Is Burning Woman

Episode Date: September 7, 2018

This week, comedian Brody Stevens joins the guys to discuss a story in which a woman completes the double whammy of both lighting herself on fire and kicking a police officer in the groin. Enjoy it!

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Armand Dan Banders don't be a jerk Cause when the music gets the funny So listen to our podcast band with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk. Because when the music hits the funny hits, we are going to take you down. Stick around. Make a sound.

On your downies. Dumb People Town. Hey, townies. Welcome to a mini episode of Dumb People Town. Population new. Population positive energy, Brody Stevens. Yes. You got it.

Pushing. Brody, the number of times we just go into your cadence and your... I get laughs on cadence alone. On cadence alone, I get laughs. Pushing energy, it's just from... I don't know, maybe it's getting nervous. It's not wanting to stutter. I have a nasal drip. I don't know, maybe it's getting nervous. It's not wanting to stutter. I have a nasal drip. I don't know. Do you have a nasal drip?

I think so. I think I have some plumbing issues in my... It's working out. I've taken the 118. I do. Pre-chips. Post-chips. I want you to give me, just tell me, and just in the most brody way, how you got here today. Just the streets you took.

Just the streets you took to get here. I took Burbank, started at Riverside, made a left on Tujunga. Could have done Lancashire, but I get confused at the Lancashire-Vineland interchange. It is a big one. Made a left, then a right on Burbank. And there were two car accidents today on Burbank. A lot of aggressive driving. Yeah, I love it.

They knew you were coming. Well, we've got you here, and I'm so happy that you're here because I feel like one of the things you do the best, whenever I've seen you do anything, your stand-up, as you talk to an audience, warming up a crowd, as you did for our pilot a couple years ago, whenever you do what you do, even judging the roast battle, you try and understand the people and why people make the decisions they make.

You're a very curious person. Yes. And you like to connect with people. Yeah. So you're going to be perfect for this. Okay. We're trying to understand dumb behavior because we believe that the world is getting dumber. They are.

As we speak. Yes, bro. Because they need teaching. They need coaching. They need parenting. You guys understand all that. Of course. Of course. Well, this is where we get to do all those things with our good friend, Dan Van Kerk, who's here. They need coaching. They need parenting. You guys understand all that. Of course.

Well, this is where we get to do all those things with our good friend Dan Van Kerkhoos here. Hi, friends. How are you? Hello, sir. And this is a mini episode. This is your weekend snack. Enjoy it. This is a bite-sized snack with the great Brody Stevens, and we have a story, so let's jump right in. We do.

I love doing these stories, too. We're up to 22,000 people following the Facebook page. Thank you to everybody. And thank you to everybody who signed up for the drip. I hope you're enjoying the sort of extra content. Oh, man. Nasal drip. Nasal drip.

We get an extra drip. We get an extra episode, a little mini-sode for the drip. I remember that last week with the guy who would not let his shower end, no matter what, got in his way. It was really fun. Good times. If you're a member of the Facebook page, you should be a member of the drip. It's a small commitment,

and it's something that will give you something extra that you'll love. We have great new pieces of merch that you will get if you're a part of the Drip thing. So lots of cool stuff on the horizon. We want you guys to be a part of that. We have 22,000 people on the page. I think we can get up to at least 5,000 people on the Drip. So let's set that as a goal.

If we do that, then we get Jan Flato his money back in 10 months. There you go. There's only one way. So you have 22, and then you're shooting for five. We're shooting for five out of that to support this system of supporting people. So I'm seeing a five and a 22. My birthday, May 22nd. May 22nd. You got it.

You got it. Yes. Numbers matter. They do. All right. Dan, let's get into it. Emerald is my birthstone. It is. Yes. You got it. True story. Dan, let's get into it. Emerald is my birthstone. It is.

Yes. You got it. True story. Emerald City, Seattle. That's where he's from. Ready? Started. I mean, where he started.

Comedy. My high school girlfriend. May 22nd. Are you serious? Yeah. Come on. It's a goodie. Wow.

Tommy John, pitcher, surgery, May 22nd. He should have said I had Brody Stevens surgery. Yeah. Jimmy John's. Push for that. Tommy John, pitcher, surgery, May 22nd. He should have said I had Brody Stevens surgery. Yeah. Jimmy John. Pushed for that. I had Jimmy John surgery. I had a sub put into my elbow. One of my bits.

You ready for this? This was sent in by Miller JJDJ. Miller JJDJ. What would JJDJ do? Also, is that maybe just like the coolest DJ name? W-W-J-J-D-J. Miller? Yes.

Miller Park. Been there. Milwaukee. Fonzie statue. You got it. We've been there too. We ran the sausage race. Oh, you did?

Yeah. You did? Go sure. At Miller. Who won? We tried to do a bit. Basically, I was ahead and then I pulled. Who were you? I to do a bit. Basically, I was ahead, and then I pulled. Wait, who were you?

I was the Polish sausage, and I was the Italian sausage. You were the chorizo. I was the Italian sausage. But let's tell any townies who don't know what we're talking about. So in the seventh inning at Miller Park in Milwaukee, four employees of the organization. And you don't know if you're going to run it that day. You could just be working. You come in, and you check your sheet, and you're working in PR or whatever and they're like,

you got to run the race. Like someone in the front office can do it? Or someone, a concession stand person. Not a concession, I don't think it's a concession stand because it's separate workers. It's people who work for the team. So like, you know, and usually for them, it's an annoyance. For everyone else who's sitting out in the crowd, it's like a bucket list. I want to do it.

So we went down and we asked someone who worked for the, because we were in town doing it. So we went down and we asked someone who worked for the, because we were in town doing Comedians of Chelsea lately, and we asked somebody who worked for it because we knew, the Cardinals were in town miraculously. We talked to Okendo. It's meant to be. We talked to McGuire. We talked to a bunch of people.

And then we say, hey, who's running the sausage race? And they're like, you guys want to do it? And we're like, come on. They're like, but you got to run it. You can't fake it. So I was like, well, what I'm going to do is, Randy, I'm going to fake an injury. Jay went out in front and then fake like he had a hamstring injury. And I looked back as the Italian sausage and I helped him up and we crossed the line together.

The Italian and Polish sausage. And it made it on baseball tonight. Oh, it did? Yes. That's what it's all about. Phenomenal. That's what it's all about. Good time.

All right. And if you're lucky, a baseball player named Randall Simon hits you in the head with a bat. Maybe. Or Milton Bradley. That happened. He got arrested for it. Did he really? That's assault.

So this was sent in by Miller RJJDJ at Miller RJJDJ. Thank you so much. I want to remind people because sometimes I forget. You can send me these stories at DanielVanKirk. Hashtag dumb people Tom. Make sure you do both of those things and you'll get how I find you. All right, ready? Yep.

We read you the headline, which is probably all we would need to do a whole show on this story. Lit herself on fire hit officer in groin. There you go. That's that's a double win the $10,000 on America's funniest on video. That's a double double.

That's a hot foot which is more self-destouble. That's a hot foot. Which is more self-destructive? I actually want to know. That's a great question. Lighting yourself on fire. Yeah, lighting yourself on fire or... Hitting a police officer in the groin. I would say hitting.

I mean, you're kicking. Or hitting. I mean, you got to stretch. That's a great question. Would you rather? I'm going to ask all three of you. Would you rather... Keep breaking it down like you were. Would you rather

light yourself on fire or kick a police officer in the groin? I would rather I would say kick a police person. But you might go to jail. You're not going to go to jail for setting yourself on fire. Yeah, but you go to jail.

Even if you kick a cop in the nuts, you will get out of jail and you will still be yourself. If you light yourself on fire and you have burn marks for the rest of your life, that's just your arm. Exactly. Just your arm? Yeah, I'm not saying you gotta engulf yourself in flames. Protesting the Vietnam War.

Still, I think the burn... I mean, they're pretty equal. Is he in uniform? Yep. This is an official police... That makes a big difference. I mean. You don't know it if it's just a regular guy in street clothes. Yeah, you go to the Vegas and they have, you know, 20 bucks to kick me in the nuts. One of those.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Undercover cops there. And you're like, boom, you're arrested. Randy? You need to get the numbers up. I think I would light myself on fire. I would definitely light myself on fire.

Because I just don't want it on my record. What? You light yourself on fire is, I just don't want it on my record. You light yourself on fire is, yeah, you want a clean sheet. So am I, and you said you'd kick a cop. I don't want to say I'm kicking a cop. Wait, no! You'd kick a cop? Nobody's saying you want to. Is it a random

police officer? Yeah. I'd kick him. I'd kick a meter made. But you gotta think about it. Is a meter made a cop? I'd kick a meter made. I am not going to jail. Can I tell you a crazy story? Just a quick crazy story about parking. Parking. Yeah.

It's our show. What is it? Yeah. Meter maid. I mean, it's like a guy. Meter, yeah. Parking. Parking attendant.

Enforcement officer. Enforcement officer, right. Parking notes. So I parked for, I was getting a coffee before I was coming over here to this place and I was parked a little bit into the red. Ooh. I come out and there's a ticket on my car. Are you serious? Most of my cars, I swear to you.

How much, Jay? Like the front bumper was across a red. That's it. No, not the wheel. Not the wheel. Front bumper. Yeah, I wouldn't think you'd. Technically, you are in the red.

But still, $45 or $50, whatever, $60. It's going up. That's a Kangol cap. It is, if you're LL Cool J. That's a Grammy's, part of a Grammy's accessory. If you're Bruce Harris. All right, so I come. Cardinals.

I then go somewhere. I'm like pulling in somewhere else because I have to mail or park somewhere. I forget. I park, and I see a parking guy driving towards me. And I know that my thing, that I'm walking over to pay it. And he's waving at me. And I'm

so mad from the other one that I'm like, I'm coming in hot. This guy's going to feel the wrath of the other person. I'm going to pay it up, pay it forward. The negativity into this guy's life. And I'm really pissed. And he pulls up and I'm like, from far away, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to pay it up, pay it forward, the negativity into this guy's life. That's nice. And I'm really pissed. And he pulls up and I'm like, from far away, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to pay. It's not like I don't know how to pay.

I'm like mad, right? He pulls up. It is the crossing guard from my kid's school who is easily the nicest person I've ever met in my life. He is so nice. He hugs all the kids. He's the sweetest guy. He's a little too long. And he's like, hey, it's a Wonderland, parent.

I'm like, hey. Remember when I acted mad 20 seconds ago? Did you ask him if he could get rid of the ticket? No, I was like, hey, man. It felt really bad. And that has happened to me so many times. The answer is don't come in hot. You can't do that.

Don't light yourself on fire. Jay, you lit yourself on fire. But if given the choice, light myself on fire or kick that guy in the nuts, I would have kicked him in the nuts. Not the crossing guard. Crossing guard. Kick him in the nuts. No.

That guy doesn't do that. Kick him in the nuts. I'm telling you. We're not encouraging any violence against any police officers. But given the two, I'm not risking going to jail. Nor am I. I want to hear more about this crazy lady. We are in Hampton, New Hampshire. I don't feel like we've been there very often. Never am I. I want to hear more about this crazy lady. We are in Hampton,

New Hampshire. I don't feel like we've been there very often. Never. Dumb people. Never. But it doesn't really matter because a Massachusetts person

was arrested in Hampton. It's a woman. A Massachusetts woman was arrested in Hampton over the weekend after police say she lit herself on fire in the back of a police cruiser,

then kicked an officer in the groin. Yep. Okay. If she's lighting herself on fire in the back of the police cruiser, then kicked an officer in the groin. Yep. If she's lighting herself on fire in the back of the cop car, who's that kind of on? On the cop. Don't give her matches. Do they check for lighters and all that? They can't put you in there with a weapon. How do they know? Maybe she had it stuffed

down her bra. That's true. Brody's right. There you go. Breast concealing? Yeah. They're just like, hey, I may need this. Brody's right. But either wayast concealing Yeah Or just like hey I'm a needy Brody's right But either way Either way Protection

It's on them though Cause that's their job Is to And they'll even tell you They're like Fuck I fucked up Do you have anything on you? Is there any

Please trust me Is there a lighter in your bra? Right That's I mean that's That could be a pickup line In any bar That's a pickup line

I read the game I read the game. You know, if you're on a first date and you ask someone, do you have a lighter in your bra? And the answer is yes. You just don't want to follow that up with, I can put one there. You're like, what 7-Eleven do I need to drop you off at?

This date is over. Right. That you're going to rob. Jeanette Driscoll. Driscoll. That's absolutely who I thought you're going to rob. Jeanette Driscoll. Driscoll. That's absolutely who I thought it was going to be. Maybe this is the JD part of Miller, JJ, DJ.

Somewhere Denny Green is up in heaven going. She is who we thought she was. Jeanette Driscoll. Deep Arizona sports reference. Yes, Arizona State. Denny Green. Good coach. Jeanette Driscoll of Leominster. That's a place, guys.

Leominster. Leominster. Leominster. Was charged with a host of crimes. Police say an officer encountered Driscoll Sunday at about 10.30 p.m. That is prime HBO show time. Yep, that's post 60 minutes. Maybe Nadal's playing late at the US Open. I don't know.

Stretching it out. Near the Kennebunkport, Maine. Kennebunk Savings Bank at Winnikunnet Road. Can we stop with these names? I can't. And you know what? Part of me wants to keep reading because people take it so personally that I've

never heard where you live before. I've never heard this before. I'm sorry. Kennebunkport, New Hampshire. Kennebunkport, Maine. Kennebunkport, Hampton, Kent. Kennebunkport, Maine. Driscoll was ordered to leave the area for loitering, but she refused officers' commands. How's that conversation

go down? Hey, ma'am, could you please clear the area? No. No. No, I'm not going. No, you have to leave. 1030 on a Sunday, ma'am. Ma'am, you need to leave. You are loitering right now. This is me telling my kids they have to go to bed. Ma'am, please get out of the area.

Nope. Ma'am. Nope. I'm a police officer and I'm telling you to do something. If you don't do it, you will forcibly take you out of the area. You will be arrested and then you have no recourse whatsoever. I'm going to go sleep in these hedges. No, you're not.

No, you're not. No, you're not. I can see that. Yeah, you know, you got to listen to law and authority. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. I can see that. Yeah, you know, you got to listen to law and authority. No, I don't. Well, you know what? What? I'm going to get more commands.

I'm going to bring more officers down here. I'm going to bring meter maids, crossing guards. It's not just commands. We will take action. I'm looking for my ATM card. Nope. No, you're not. You cannot take action. I'm looking for my ATM card. No, ma'am. No, you're not.

You cannot do that. What are the handling fees? $4 for an exchange. Can I borrow your ATM card? No, you cannot. Ma'am, you may not. You need to get out. Go back to the hedges.

I'm just at 7-Eleven paying my bills. Money smart. Ma'am, I need you to leave. She was ordered to leave the area for loitering. Like, what are you doing around a bank at 1030 at night on a Sunday? You're waiting for it to open on Monday. Yeah. You just want to get that early slot.

You don't like waiting in line. Did any of you guys ever do the banks where if you go through the drive-thru, maybe this is only in Rochelle, they have the little tubes. Yeah, it sucks it up. It's my favorite thing in the world. Do they still do that? Yes. St. Louis, they do it.

St. Louis, they still do it. In LA, no. Elon Musk invented that. No way. That's how he's going to send you to Mars. You get in a tube. You swivel the top. Yep.

And then it sucks it up. And then they send back like two lollipops. Yeah. And you were like, as a kid, you were thrilled. I loved it. I used to beg my mom to not go in the one closest to the bank. Yeah, because you want to see it travel as far as. The movie Tron was based on that.

Really? Yep. Little Jeff Bridges was driving. Was it Jeff Bridges in that? I think it was Tiny Jeff Bridges. There you go. Shetland Jeff Bridges. Son of Lloyd, brother of Bo.

Son of Lloyd, brother of Bo. Lloyd Bridges, don't you know? We own that. Just so everybody's listening. We own it. We own the rights. Quote, quote, officers placed her in custody. Driscoll became agitated during the arrest and struggled to get into the cruiser.

The way they write it is she's having a hard time getting into the cruiser. She doesn't know how to get into a car. Remember, we've talked about this so much. When you're trying to get your drunk friend to leave somewhere, get in the car, and they're like, wait a second. Wait. No, get in the car. She's like holding the side of the door, not letting them push her head in. Let me tell you guys a quick story.

No, we do not want to hear a story. I'll get in, but you've got to tell me a quick story. Turned into an abduction by the cops. She's fighting. The cops are trying to push her head down into the things. I like that she couldn't find the door handle, and they let her work it out herself. She's just struggling with it, guys. Yes.

They placed her into custody. She struggles getting into the cruiser. Hampton police said in a statement, while being transported to the police station, Jeanette Driscoll managed to light her clothes on fire. No! Political protest. There you go.

Against herself. That's how they do it. You saw the cover of Rage Against the Machine. That's how they do it. They're making a statement. Randy was just at Burning Man. This is Burning Woman. This is Burning Woman. This is Burning Woman.

They're burning her energy. Not as good of an event, I don't think. Burning Man was, and I've talked about, was pretty amazing. It was pretty crazy. I think we should have you at this next trip. I'll tell a little. Oh, no, for the next drip. Okay, so here's what I'm going to do.

No, no. I want to tell a little story here, and you can get the rest of it on the next. Okay, and then we'll go back to this and wrap it up. Okay, so I was, all right. here and you can get the rest of it on the next. Okay. And then we'll go back to this and wrap it up. Okay. So I was all right. Okay. So I'm going to get my hair washed because that's just something you do. At Burning Man? At Burning Man. There was like a tent

that they're like, we'll wash your hair for you. By the way, I got a flat tire on my bike and someone was like, I'll fix it for you. They had like a tent where they're fixing bikes and he fixed my bike for me. Unbelievable. Like just did it for free. Because that's the way it is. Wow. People are so nice so not bro you would love it there people i don't think you'd like the dust but people are so nice so nice it's unbelievable so you go get your hair washed and we're sitting around we're talking to people and we're sitting in the waiting area and they're like

come on this isn't like a regular waiting area talk to the people around you find someone you've never spoken to before and talk to the people so we got into a little circle and people are all sharing things about them that are interesting. And the woman next to me is like, this is fascinating. She was like, we said, what's interesting about you? She's like, well, I just turned 50. I just lost my job two months ago. I just got divorced three months ago.

I'm a virgin. I was like, wait a minute. She got divorced. It's like, how are you married all this long and you're still a virgin? I guess that's amazing that you made that work for that long. She's like, so I came to Burning Man. I'm like, incredible. I don't want you to save all this long and you're still a virgin. I guess that's amazing that you made that work for that long. She's like, so I came to Burning Man. I'm like, incredible. I want you to save all this. I've got so much more. So she was like, I came to

Burning Man and she's like, then my friend at my camp last night took me to the Orgy Dome. Leave it at that. You're giving away too much. You don't understand how to hold out the punchline. Was Tina Turner there? Why don't you just tell hold out the punchline. Was Tina Turner there? You want to get more?

Why don't you just tell the end of the story? I'm going to ask you so many things. Dude, the rest of the story is on this week's trip. You went to Burning Man. Wow, that's like going to one of those secret conferences. It was like being on Tatooine. It was like somewhere else. Find out what happened to this virgin

who just got divorced at age 50 who showed up at Burning Man. And if you think that's the only story you're telling, I'm going to make you dig in so deep. How's the parking there? Pretty good. A lot of open space. Took F to the 413.

You got it. Universal Station. So while being transported, Jeanette Driscoll managed to light her clothes on fire. I love that too. She managed to do it. No, guys, to light her clothes on fire. I love that too. Yeah, she managed to do it. No, guys, she had lighter matches on her. Do you think she took her clothes? No, she didn't take them off.

No, because it was burning on top of her. The officer, this is my favorite part of the story. Just if you were driving by and saw this, the officer transporting her pulled the cruiser over and had to remove her from the vehicle and roll her around on the ground to extinguish the flames. Sounds like assault. Also, by the way, good move on his part.

He was like, we got to get you out. We're going to stop, drop, and roll on the side of this interstate. We're going to roll you over. Probably because she's cuffed, right? Yes. So he's like out there rolling her around like a rug. By the way, he also is going to be in danger of getting lit on fire because he's pulling her out. He had to get her out of that car.

If you can't take the heat, get out of the back of the cop car. Driscoll was treated at the Portsmouth Regional Hospital then transported to the Hampton Police Station so she didn't get that burn where police said she kicked an officer in the groin. At what point are you like, Jeanette, stop it. You just rolled her around.

We just put a fire out on you and this is how you repay us? She's dizzy. Her equilibrium's off. She's just trying to get her around. Yeah. We just put a fire out on you, and this is how you repay us? She's dizzy. Her equilibrium's off. She's just trying to get her balance. Brody, you need to be her lawyer. You are Jeanette Driscoll's lawyer. That, by the way, is a great case to make.

Brody, I'm just trying to walk. She's an excuse machine. Yes. You know, I dare say, Your Honor. I'm taking giant steps. I dare say, Your Honor, if the police officer hadn't rolled her around so much, she wouldn't have been so dizzy, hence probably not have accidentally kicked them in the groin. I rest my case.

What if her lawyer was Ronald T. Justice? Your honor, may I approach the bitch? My name is Steven Brody Stevens, and you will address me as such. Yes, I am Ronald T. Justice. You don't need to be in cuffs unless you're into that sort of thing. My client. That's your ad right there. That's the one of the ads.

You don't need to be in cuffs unless you're into that sort of thing. My client? That's your ad right there. That's the one of the ads. Brody Stevens, you don't need to be in cuffs unless you're into that sort of thing. Brody Stevens. But that's from Darren Caffinoke. I don't know if free ads, but that was from a, it's a popular thing. I am stealing that bit.

It was a good pull. It was a good pull. It was homage. Your honor, I may submit that my client here did not kick that officer in the groin. My client had rolled around and in her dizziness.

Let me submit that that officer's groin went onto my client's foot. Not the other way around. A knee would be probably actually more hurtful. A knee would be a lot more hurtful. You know, so what's the intent there? Maybe it was just a reaction. You knee somebody, that's some aggression. By the way, you see a groin coming at you. You might want to kick that thing out of the way.

I just think at some point if I was a cop, I would have looked at Jeanette and been like, when is it going to stop? What more do we need? We just helped you. We got you away from a dangerous bank. We asked you to leave. You wouldn't. We cuffed you up.

Fine. We put you in the car. You set yourself on fire. We put the fire out. And now you kick us It's like when you're telling your kid I've seen people do this And I'm sure you guys have done it

This day is for you Right Do you think this is what we want to be doing today? Do you think I want to be here? When they push you so far Do you think I want to be here? Do you think I wanted to put you out? No

I did not And she the whole time As she's rolling around She's like It's lit yo It's lit yo It's lit yo It's lit, yo. It's lit, yo. It's lit, yo.

It's lit. We own that too. Yeah. Driscoll was charged with assault, loitering, and trespassing. She was released on $10,000 bond pending an arraignment on October 2nd in Seabrook District Court. In case any townies want to go. I want townies show up. We're going to get out of here on this.

I'm going to ask you guys. Brody, you are our friend and our guest. You can decide if you want to go first, Tig, which is second, or third. In a game of guess the agey, how old do you think Jeanette Driscoll is? Too much fun leaves marks in life. Living hard, you'll pay the price. Who is gonna get it right?

Guess the age, guess the age. Based on what we know, do you want to go first, second, or third? I'll go Tig. Okay. Go Tig. Maybe Jason, who would like to go first? I'll go first. Jason Sklar.

She's 39. 39 years old. Yes. Sunday night, pissed off, mad at kids that she doesn't speak to anymore. That's right. Grandkids. She has grandkids in the mix. She might.

Yeah. She's 39. First of all, she's got a deep voice from all the smoking. Yeah. Second of all, she's 29. I'm on fire. Yeah. Can I get the name again?

First name? Jeanette Driscoll. Jeanette's kind of an older name. Okay. I'm going to say over 40. Somebody said 39? Yeah, so just pick a number. It's not Price is Right. It's straight up no matter what.

I'm going to say in honor of Jackie Robinson, 42. There you go. She's doing the number proud. All right. Randy, what do you got? I said 29. She looks like she's 42. I got a 29. Jay's got a 39, and Brody's got a 42. We're going to get out of here on this.

And I'll show her picture right after I say it. Which will be on the Facebook page. We'll say goodbye to all of you. Before we do that, I've decided I like doing this. By the way, Brody said he wanted to go second. And I went second. I apologize. No, you went third.

Yeah, you went third. Yeah, you went 42. Man, somebody's still burning. Sorry, man. Jesus. I'm out of it. More stories to come on the road. Before we get with the age, does anybody have any plugs?

Yeah, Brody. Sometimes we do it at the very end, and I think people are gone. Yeah stories to come on the road. Before we get up to the age, does anybody have any plugs? Yeah, Brody. Sometimes we do it at the very end and I think people are gone. We should tell them now. I'll be in Detroit on October 2nd at the L Club. Nice. Doing a little tour. Nice. Detroit.

Where can people check all the dates of your tour? At BrodyStevens.com? BrodyStevens.com. We need to update it, but Brody is me friend on Twitter, all those places. Brody is me friend. Based off Tony and Mr. Lee, my bus boys in New York City. Brody, you good guy. You me friend. You me friend. Brody is me friend. off Tony and Mr. Lee My busboys in New York City Brody you good guy You me friend

Brody is me friend That's what it is That's what it was I love it I think it's so funny Jason and Ran You can see us In Ann Arbor, Michigan

Well first of all This is gonna drop Is this gonna drop this Friday? I believe so Okay so you can see us And Dan at the Improv Yes On Saturday night

The Hollywood Improv On the 8th Saturday night See us there Doing a headlining set of comedy there. Which is rare for L.A. So if you're in L.A. town, you've got to be there. Get a chance to see us do a 40-minute set and Dan do a set of comedy. And then you can see us in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

We have four shows, two Friday, two Saturday, on the 20th and 21st. So you can see us there in the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase, which is downtown Friday and Saturday night. Then you can see us in Denver. We'll be actually in Boulder on October 3rd. That's a Wednesday. And Denver Downtown Comedy Works the rest of the weekend. One of the best clubs ever. Then we're going to do a live Dumb People Town at the ATC, All Things Comedy Festival

in Phoenix. All these dates are on superscholars.com. You can check that out. Then Austin. And then we've got dates in the new year. We'll be coming to San Diego in January. We're going to be coming to, where in February? We've got Portland. Yeah, we're doing Portland. Back in Portland. Back in Portland. Haven't been to Healy in a

while. Portland at the beginning of February, and then I think we're going to come back and do Salt Lake City again, maybe do a live Dumb People Town there. There you go. Check it out. We'll get it going. And I have a special on iTunes and Amazon, Brody Stevens Live at the Main Room, so you can see me doing my late night spot at the comedy store. That's on there.

I do have more shows. I'm inspired. Things are happening. I love you, Brody. I freaking love you so much. And I'm so happy you're here. Thank you. I'll be in Glendale, Arizona in March.

Nice. I love it. All right. We're going to get into this. I want to tell people really quickly, you can come to my Together Tour. The legs are being announced right now. I'll be starting on the 18th of September, and then I'm going to Houston,

Austin, Dallas, Lafayette, Baton Rouge. It's the Daniel Van Kirk Together Tour. Go to danielvankirk.com. That website should be up and running now, or just follow me on Twitter and Facebook. You can get all the information there. I'm dying to find out how old this woman is. I said, Brody said 42,

Jay said 39, I said 29. Jeanette Driscoll. The woman who likes to find out how old this woman is. I said Brody said 42. Jay said 39. I said 29. Yep. Jeanette Driscoll. The woman who likes to hang out at the bank on a Sunday night, refuses to leave, sets herself on fire, gets rolled around in the grass, then kicks a police officer in the groin. It's a perfect night. Checking your balance.

So if you ask her which one she'd rather do, the answer is both. She is 19 years old. Oh my God. And she looks mad. That's a mad 19 year old. What? That's the face of every 19. What? That's what her face is going.

What? She is lashing out. Lashing out at America. She can be in a Bo Burnham movie. She could be in a Bo Burnham movie. That's Bo Burnham's next movie, 19. He started at 13 and went six years on. What would that be, 13th grade? 13th grade. That's a DBT mini with the great Brody

Steven. Although 19 with this girl, 19, she's probably still a senior. Brody Stevens, there you go. Mini down. Have a great weekend, everybody, and oh shit, we got to get back to work. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around.

Make a sound. Calm your down. It's Dumb People Town. It's a good show.