Dumb People Town - Byron Bowers - Spiritual Inward

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

This week Byron Bowers comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is all about a getaway with the worst possible vehicle. The second story is a very happy meal. The final story is about an entrepreneur.

Skypains Avenue Hey, Tannies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Bowers. By byron bowers welcome to the show man hey thank you for having me i kind of want to make you byron bowers the third does that make sense i don't know you come from a long line of byron bowers that's hilarious why no are you are you are you being sarcastic you're a third yeah i'm a liar yeah stop it no it's true now i think you're fucking with me andrew bowers the third yep no yeah distinguished very distinguished slave stop it stop it i've

seen you in three years yeah man uh it's been a long time you look a lot older man i i don't want to be mean but you look like man we all have been through some things we all have been through some things past three years i know man uh man. And luckily, we made it through. Made it through. You got a new special. We're going to talk about that later. We're going to talk about people going through things. People going through things.

Dumb things. Dumb things. And I got the first story right here. Okay, go ahead. Let's get it ready. Let's do it. Give me the headline. This is, by the way, sent in by Megan Lasowski at Soymates for the number four EVA.

For EVA. Lasowski's. All right. Here's the headline. You ready? Florida man. We already love it. Oh, yeah. Because you know thisA. Lasowskis. Here's the headline. You ready? Florida man, we already love it because you know this thing.

Someone is messing with you. You've performed down in Florida, don't you? I have before, yeah. And as a Georgia man, they like our cousins that we don't. That's like the line.

Florida, Georgia line. You don't cross it, right? Unless you want to get into some interesting stuff. That's right. Shout out to Florida. Shout out. Florida man caught

after attempting to outrun police on a lawnmower. How messed up do you have to be interesting stuff that's right shout out to florida shout out florida man caught after attempting to outrun police on a lawnmower how messed up do you have to be to think you can outrun the police you just have to be drunk enough to not have like forethought like how this is gonna go no you just putting the pedal to the metal yeah you're putting the pedal to the but you already you're already going like yeah you like fuck it you see a hill and you're like i think i've ever been on one of the those like industrial riding lawnmowers that have two big handlebars and you do you go forward like this like footloose like this and you go like this to turn have you really i haven't

been up i know what he's talking yeah when i worked at the cemetery that's what we would use to mow these things these yeah that's a huge engine on those yep like i'm not saying you got you can't outrun the cops. There's no way you can outrun the cops. But, hey, Paul. First off, as a southerner, right, and we're going to go through this because spiritually you can transcend different things, right? Okay, sure.

So as a southerner, you can't beef up and bore out the motor of a long-wheel. That's what I was going to say. Put like a Corvette motor on a thing. Of course. Or a four-barrel car. And anytime you're in something fast, you always think, I could outrun the police. Right? No matter what it is.

And you're like, how are these guys going to get on lawns? I'm going to drive on grass. I want to know, I wish someone kept stats. There's no way to keep this stat. How many times has that worked out? Never. So you're like, I can outrun the cops. Never.

Never? Well, in motorcycles, it almost always works out because most police forces do not pursue motorcyclists. What if you're a motorcycle? I know two young men that just got caught. Shellroom nameless. Let's out them right here. Don't you dare.

It was, as an older person, you're like, oh, that was dumb. But you're still not saying don't outrun police right we saying this is where you this is where you fucked up it when you outran that's right cuz you're going 176 miles an hour so you're fearless already but you didn't have to just keep going straight right yeah you couldn't go that's where they have motorcycles yeah they was on motorcycle and they got him and one of the motorcycles. Flipped? Blew, like, not blew up, but it broke down. Yeah. But, I mean, you've had enough head start to, like.

You could have made a turn. Yeah. Is what I'm saying. But that's the youth. You know, we all make dumb decisions. Dude, I say, get off the motorcycle, hop on the lawnmower, and take that off. That's what I'm saying. And then all you got to do is you take off your shirt. And then just start mowing grass. Mowing the lawn? You start mowing the lawn, people and take that off. That's what I'm saying. And then all you gotta do is take off your shirt and then just start

mowing the grass. You start mowing the lawn and people are like, let him finish. Have you seen anyone come in this way? I've been mowing the lawn. That's when your three years of Spanish come in. Don't blow your glass. So a Florida man... It's two in the morning. Why are you mowing that lawn at two in the morning?

A Florida man reportedly took quote, cut and run to a whole new lawn. Oh, shut the hell up. Oh, wow. By cutting grass in his gateway vehicle, police say. I don't even know what a gateway is. Didn't they mean to say getaway?

Oh, yeah, getaway. I'm sorry I said gateway, by the way. Oh, I thought they meant, hey, the amount of times you- No, no, it says getaway. If you need Dan to help you read, or Byron. Are gateway building lawn walls?

They started with computers, and they did so badly. Pivot. Pivot. And they're like, we can do this. Get yourself a gateway. Yeah, get yourself a gateway. It comes in a giant cow box.

All right. By fleeing from officers on a lawnmower, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, you know they get the craziest calls. Okaloosa. Yeah. That's it. That feels like panhandle. Right. I have no idea where Okaloosa is.

I mean, Lake Okeechobee is on the west side near West Palm Beach, so I feel like this might be in the same area. Dusty Mobley. That's the name? That's the guy's name. Dusty Mobley. That sounds like what he's doing. Yeah.

Dusty is a cop runner. That's exactly what I was going to say. He drives things. Dusty drives things. If he has a motor, he's on it. If you were friends with Dusty Mobley in junior high, you knew he was going to run from the cops someday. Someday.

Someday. That's what he was voted in high school. Because he got away on a bird scooter. He got away on a hovercraft. You know how you got to fucking fast? You got to go to a fleet of cops on a hovercraft? You got to lean like this? You got to literally be parallel.

Parallel. Like a roll runner. He got roll runner stickers on his hovercraft. Smooth criminal. Smooth criminal. Dusty is the type of person who would boost the motor of a hovercraft. That's right. For sure.

He was arrested on Saturday after a bizarre police chase deputies added that this arrest came just how many months after mobley jumped into a swamp to escape deputies who were looking okay so prior to this how many months before had he got hit he risked the swamp into a swamp in florida that's a death wish you're basically saying you don't care this is better than i mean listen we all know this is, you may get the swamp, you can actually reason with an alligator. Yeah, for sure. Man, that's the best bar of all time. To clear that? Yeah.

Dusty fleeting the police, faced with gun charges with a pump. So he eluded by jumping in the swamp. Just swamp. Jumped in a swamp. Swamp. That is. a swamp. Swamp. That is. That's the definition of swamp people. How many months before?

How many months before did he jump in a swamp to elude the police, and now he's trying to evade them? Byron, you want to go first? Take it or last? You can go. Since they use the months with an S on the end, I'm going to say it's one. One month. Okay.

One month. Because they're trying to throw us off the trail. I'm going to say four months. That's exactly what I was going to say it's one. One month. Because they're trying to throw us off the trail. I'm going to say four months. That's exactly what I was going to say. Really? Dan, you got to come up with another one. Two. I'll go two months. Get your answers in because Dusty Mobley

jumped into a swamp to escape deputies who were looking to serve warrants on him seven months ago. This dude's been on the run for seven months. That's like a different lifetime. Maybe he's living in the swamp. That's different, man. Seven months ago, we were different people.

I also think in seven months, they're kind of like, we don't really care. We've moved on from Dusty Mobley. Yeah. Seven months. Maybe he was feeling like he needed attention. Or we're going to let him lay low and think he got it. Do you ever think they do that where cops like they-

I would also say it's swamp justice. Like if you jump into the swamp and you survive- Home base? No, I'm just saying it's a wash. That's a different jurisdiction. Right, right. Led to gators. International waters apply.

If you went into the swamp and the swamp decided that you live, then fine. You're good. You go back to zero. This is like an old if the witch floats, we don't burn her to death. A hundred percent. If the swamp doesn't kill you, then you are meant to get a new fresh start. All right, so the sheriff's department. But you know he's in one of those towns where they're like, guess who jumped in the swamp?

Dusty. Dusty Mobley. They all knew it. Who else could it be? My brother keeps jumping into the swamp. No, Byron, it's one of those times where you go, guess who jumped into the swamp? Say it again. Dusty Mobley. No, no, just say Dusty. Guess who jumped into the swamp. No, Byron, it's one of those times where you go, guess who jumped into the swamp? Say it again. Dusty Mobley. No, no, just say Dusty. Guess who jumped into the swamp?

Dusty. Which one? It's one of those times. There's more than one? Which Dusty? Dusty from the lawnmower. The lawnmower. Oh, okay. Henderson or Mobley. Alright, so the Sheriff's Department said deputies went to his home. So they're now looking for him from that other –

Sure. From the swamp. Seven months. That is what prompted them to go get him in that seven months. Oh, wow. At what time on Sunday on Pascoe, Brock's, and Circle in Holtz? So put that down. Oh, yeah.

So they're knocking on the door and then out the back of the garage. So what time? You see it. Here comes the music. Okay, what time? Wait, what time? What if... But I'm imagining that he's rigged up something where it is like half of the hoverboard

and a push lawnmower. Everything's all together. And it's on top of a bird scooter. He's doing all three. I like the push thing. Like, he just busts out of the garage. Both handles down. I feel like they're serving a knock warrant in the middle of the night.

I'm going to go 2 a.m. 2 a.m. Jay, what do you think? I'm going to say 3 in the afternoon. What do you think? I'm around 6 before church. 6 a.m.? Okay, fine.

On a Sunday, he did it at 9.30 a.m. Whoa. Give him a little time to rest, right? Rest for an outstanding warrant. But Mobley allegedly tried to escape, speeding away as fast as a John Deere ride-on lawnmower. That's not that fast. It can't be that fast. It's not that fast at all.

Until officers caught up and used a stun gun to capture him. And you know that there was at least a block of them walking alongside. Sir. Just stop, man. I'm going to take you. I'm going to take you, Dusty. It's out. It's out. You hear it turned on.

I just turned on the gun. And that cop and Dusty went to high school together. Dust, come on, Dust. I'm telling you, I'm going to tase your ass. Dan, so I love that you said on foot because the next sentence is in the article. It's unclear if the officers gave Chase their on foot or were they in a patrol car. See, 100%. They were just alongside walking. Who gets

tased from the patrol car? Listen, that's a long way to get tased. That's a slow move. You gotta practice that in some type of a class, right? To tase somebody? A drive-by tasing? That's probably... Not that they give a shit, but I bet you you're not supposed to be able to do that. No, you should not.

Tase from the car. That's what I'm saying. And that leads me to believe that they're walking on foot or running. Unless you want to. And you're like, come on, Dusty. Fuck it. Side taste. Donut. Side taste. As the car's spinning.

And then he stops and he finishes his donut and then he go get So a no look taste. Also he said it when he did it too. Side taste. Mobley was wanted by the Police and Connection for alleged theft of how much money? How expensive is the boat that he apparently stole? Tried to steal before he jumped in the swamp? Stole.

I want to say $2,500. $2,500? $2,500 boat? What do you think? I think it's like a $12,000 boat. What do you think? I'm going to go with $2,500. $2,500. $2,500 boat. What do you think? I think it's like a $12,000 boat. What do you think? I'm going to go like $2,500. I'm going to go $5,000 boat.

He is one in connection to the alleged theft of a $40,000 boat. Oh. Okay. This dude is trying to flee on boat, on lawnmower, into a swamp. He's like a real-life Jim Croce song. This guy, he went through a boat. Either way, he's not successful. He might drive anything with a boat, but he's definitely not getting far with it.

Jebedee Sabres was stolen by a suspect who reportedly used heavy machinery to cut a hole in the side of a metal building to gain access to the building on Highway 4 in Baker. So he knew a boat was in a building. Use the thing to cut a hole. Like a cartoon. Yes. To cut a hole in and pull the boat. This guy is like a – he's like Wile E. Coyote. That's what I was thinking.

Right? Here's the name Dusty. Dusty Coyote. I wonder what his real name is. Byron Andrew Byron. The third. I got relatives in Florida. The third. Relatives in Florida. Florida back in.

Relatives in Florida. Do you talk to them? Rarely, but yeah. Mobley was charged with a string of offenses, including grand theft, grand theft of a vehicle, felony criminal mischief. That's always a fun one. Two counts of resisting an officer, possession of a concealed weapon by a felon, carrying a concealed handcuff. They rang him up. Carrying a concealed handcuff key. I rang him up. Carrying a concealed handcuff key.

I didn't even know that was a thing. And possession of drug paraphernalia. According to deputies, he also had a pipe containing what appeared to be meth residue and a revolver on him when he was taken into custody. I love that he had all this on him. He had like a goddamn utility box. You don't have to bring everything with you when you hop on the mower. Put that in there.

He had a kit. He had a that in there. He had a kit. He had a John Deere. He had a little John Deere bag. Like a little to-go bag. Baby, I'm about to flee. Give me my bag. Where's the bath pipe? Where's the –

He got his list. I got my pipe. I got my revolver. He got all the stuff you trust, right? I don't drink no five-hour energy drink. Get me out of there. There's no room for this. I need the pipe.

All right. The statement of the sheriff who are on the Facebook page, of course, sparked much amusement among the locals after he said on Sunday, a Holt man who jumped into a swamp to avoid Okaloosa Sheriff's Office deputy trying to serve him warrants was not successful yesterday when he put a John Deere riding lower into high gear and tried to outrun pursuing deputies. And we're going to did it in the morning.

I'm going to find out if there's any more of this right here. So we're going to end on this. The first story we're going to end on this. How old is Dusty Mobley? You know Dusty Mobley tried to jump into a swamp to avoid the police for a stolen boat that he tried to cut out of a building with heavy machinery. How old do you think Dusty Mobley is if he was going to pull all this off? Byron, where do you want to go?

I'm going to say 40. Okay. 40. Oh, man, that still seems kind of young. It does. All right, what do you think, Jay? I want him to be like 60. You want 60?

I'm going to say 60. Okay, what do you think? I think he's 26 years old. Okay, one of you is exactly right. Oh. Now we get to play the game. Who do you think is exactly right? Here's the thing.

He can't be young because that generation don't even – this is old school. They don't want a boat. There's a lot of planning. This is an old school thing. Yeah, you got to have a certain skill set. You didn't grow up with phones or nothing. You did not. Doing this type of –

Sure. Yeah, or at least you came into it. My thing is what did he want to do with the boat? Swim around. Go around the swamp. The problem with stealing something like a boat is, yeah, you have to have a buyer. Right. And he doesn't feel like somebody who has a buyer.

Well, this is Florida. Like I said, people I know who get weapons and certain things always go to Florida to get it. Sure. You go there. That's where there's murky rules. There's a whole market that we can't see. They got some crazy. I know somebody bought a spider.

What? Yeah, like a rare spider you're not supposed to get. You can get all types. A rare spider? Yeah. I'm going down to Florida. One of them is named Blue Tarantulas. No.

I'm going down to Florida. What are you getting? In the mail. You know what I mean? In the mail? Yeah. What the hell? Came in a jar? Byron. Come on are you getting? In the mail. In the mail? Yeah. What the hell? Came in a jar?

Byron. Came in the mail. In an envelope? So now we're going to play who do we think is right. Who do you think is right? I think Byron's right. I think he's 40. I think I'm right.

I'm saying 60. I'm staying at 40. That's the instinct. You went so fast. It made me feel like I was wrong. Well, it said. And that's the number that popped in my head. But I'm saying he went fast when he said one of you is right.

I felt like he didn't have time to process my answer to say that. So you're going on that? So I think it's – You didn't think it was Jay's? 60? No. Okay. Get your answers in, townies, because Dusty Mobley,

the man who outran the police and jumped into a swamp, and I guess they just let him stay in there. Swamp justice. Swamp justice. What are you going to go get him? They tried to cut a boat. I literally cut a boat. A hole in a metal building and stole a boat.

$40,000 boat. Then tried to elude the cops after they knocked it. It's 930 in the morning on a Sunday to get him on a riding boat. Is 40 years old. Yay! All right. I love it. Context clues.

If I was playing detective. First off, this is like some shit I would do If I still lived in this house Stop it I'll be honest with you You're describing my life Because for fun For fun

It does sound fun And Jumping Takes 60 out of the game Yeah Because I barely would jump now Sure You know what I mean

Yeah Like jumping I jumped and I ruined my back Can we say this Jumping is a young man's game Into a swamp You know it's a cushy Swamping is a young man's game. Into a swamp, you know, it's a cushy. Swamp jumping is a young man's game.

I played basketball in a league last Sunday. Not last Sunday. My back is still out. Still out. I need a cushion. My back is out. Your back said no. Stop it.

All right, there you go. That is it. That is the first story down in the books. When we come back, we're going to talk about Byron's Dusty, we're going to talk about Byron's new special. Phenomenal. So cool. The way it was shot and all this stuff.

We'll talk about all those things plus stuff we have going on on the other side of the world. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more in the people town. All right, guys.

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Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Before we get into story number two and before we get into what Byron is doing, we want to remind people that Randy and I are going to be in Alaska doing shows. Yeah, doing these three days in Alaska. It's been so long since we were in Alaska. I'm excited to do these shows. We're going to do them on December 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.

And then on the 8th, we're going to be at the Fillmore in San Francisco for a special event. And then we're going to be in Denver in January, San Diego, and beyond. So just check superscleros.com. And Daniel's got some dates too. Yeah, just go to danielvankirk.com. All right, Byron, new special out. Let's talk about it.

How can people consume it? How can people consume it? It's shot in a boxing ring. It's on Hulu, and then it's on Disney also, which is crazy. That is crazy. Mickey done put a nick on the screen. You know what I mean? Shout out to Los Feliz.

Yeah, exactly. Come on. So talk about special i mean is it the collection of you know your best stuff that you've been doing for a while um i think it's a collection of of how i got to this moment yeah it's a very spiritual thing and and i definitely stripped it of some jokes to make the story a little bit more impactful yeah and it's cinematic. It's more of an indie film than an actual. Oh, wow. That's what I gather.

Yeah. That's what I gather from it. And I just, I don't know. And stuff that I've read about it as well, people love how deep you go in this thing, which, you know, every time we've hung out. It's like we have no doubt. We know you're funny.

You're a funny dude, period. But every time we hang out with you, we always talk about deep stuff. hung out like we have no doubt we know you're funny we're funny dude period but you're every time we hang out with you we always talk about deep stuff so it's like i love that you brought that to the forefront with this special which is we're all trying to do something that is a little bit different that catches people's eye and i feel like this will i realize it's the game that that keeps us from doing this because we have to fight to do something different and you have to fight to promote something different and they don't fight to promote something different and they don't want to do this they just want to uh cookie cutter special right you know so um my instincts

was why i held out so long i probably could have did a special like you could have like 2014 or something yeah um and i just wanted to show us uh that we could do something different. And it's a tribute to when Special started. Yeah. Right? Because when Special started, they were just that special. Yeah. Even though they was on stage.

And then the title is an ode to like the old titles of comedy albums that nobody could talk about publicly. That's right. You know, people will watch comedy in the basement. Or, hey, I got this album and it's just a handful of people listening to it. And then word of mouth, it gets spread. Word of so yep um it's a lot of tributes like that um watching like uh raw and it had like an intro to it yeah or richard getting out of his car with his wife and walking into the thing yeah so cinematic so i wanted to uh attribute all that stuff to it to it and then then comedy being compared to boxing.

Yeah. The technical parts of it and the fight that we go through. And my girlfriend, who's also a great filmmaker and producer, was able to get behind me and fight. And luckily she just won an award, a DJ award. Nice. And we were going in. So those things helped. That all lined up.

Yeah, it all helped you know so um did you make it yourself or did you make it and then sell it or did you make it for them no we pitched it that's great and you had already made it or you pitched it you pitched the idea of it that's great and then fx who who usually uh is is an artist-based uh network you know with shows like atlanta and stuff like that sure um they was excited about it and they went in on it that's is an artist-based network, you know, with shows like Atlanta and stuff like that. Sure. They was excited about it

and they went in on it. That's great. That's awesome. I love it. I love it. So the name of it- Shout out to FX for taking the chance

because they definitely took the chance. Amen. Name of the special so people can see it. Spiritual nigga because I know y'all don't want to say it.

Yeah, I can't say it. Only Nazis and black people are allowed to say it. I just go spiritual and then I go quiet. It's what I do whenever I'm listening to rap music. It was a black lady because she don't like it, so she said spiritual inward yesterday,

and that was the first time I heard a black person say that. Oh, yeah, because she didn't want to say it. It also then sounds like I-N-W-A-R-D, like spiritual inward. Oh, spiritual inward. Dude, damn it, Kirk. See, now there inward. Spiritual inward. Dude. Damn it, Kirk. See, now there's another talking point for you. That's how I can sell the hoodies for the culture.

And if you write out inward. I'll write it out. Yeah, I'll write it out like that. Wow. Are you kidding me? Right here. If you do that, can I get one? The spiritual I-N-W-A-R-D.

Yeah, you hear it right here you know i mean chop this up and we're gonna chop it up because it's got it's about to be released in um australia new zealand that's how they can say come on dude yeah because you know inward inward inward inward i love it all right man that is so good for for fans of this show and and everybody who listens to this show is a comedy fan. We've cultivated what I think to be some of the best. I love our fans so much. And they are respectful of comedy.

They love comedy. I'm telling you guys. Have we ever brought you something you haven't loved? Have we steered you wrong? But go check this dude's special out because he's one of the funniest comics doing it. Like he said, he probably could have done a special in 2014, like at least almost almost 10 years ago he waited to do this now the way that he wanted to do it and it looks beautiful and it's got a great message and it's deep yeah so check it out you've been sad in the press didn't know how to tell nobody or express it then this is the special for you so jay and i

just played we did uh the comedy gives back golf Golf Tournament, which was so much fun, and it's just so good to participate in that. Like, we showed up at this golf tournament, and I wound up donating money while I was sitting there because I loved it so much. They showed a video of all these comics, specials, and people, everybody, talking about John Mulaney and Maria Bamford and all these people talking about the mental stuff that we deal with on that level. And I was like, man, they showed so many comics from their stuff.

And you're like, so many of us talk about those issues and all that stuff. It's deeply ingrained in what we do. If you put a ring around the whole thing, it's like, wait a minute. We've been talking about mental health stuff for years. For years. So it's great that we're digging into it now because I think now everybody's ready to hear it yeah and we lose comics yes we do brody stevens jack knight yeah so it's a thing of like also talking to us that's right yes you know the black community has a stigma in it because they want us to go to church and these things yeah and you're like well maybe there's another way to

talk yeah we can't pray like my dad was schizophrenic and they would send like nobody pray it out yeah pray it out and i'm like you can't this ain't nothing you could pray out that's right this is a technical or something you go to the doctor yeah medical yes shame on you for believing in science all right uh shall we get to a second story yeah let's do it man i love it here we go thank you a red rob Robin customer found drugs in her to-go order. Charlotte police are now investigating. That's the special sauce. Did she order it?

Did she order it? That's the special sauce. Or, because this happened in, I think, Atlanta. A guy was selling crack through McDonald's. Mm-hmm. I think we did that, sir. And somebody got the wrong order. Yes, because they said the phrase, and they didn't know it.

You accidentally said the phrase. So maybe she did that. Like, let me get one of them. What kind of restaurant was it? Red Robin. Red Robin. Oh, yeah. Let me get one of these flicking chicken.

These ticking, ticking chickens. She did something with her head and wound up with chicken, chicken, and then it came. This was sent in by Adam Poulton at Poultski75. I love him. Charlotte, North Carolina. A curbside to-go customer at Red Robin in North Charlotte. See, once you start adding curbside, there's like no...

You're too lazy to walk into the restaurant. No, but I mean, the curbside to-go means like it's a whole other world of the restaurant that like 10 years ago didn't exist. I mean, really, five years ago didn't really exist. There wasn't a lot of curbside. It's a pandemic thing. Curbside to-go customer at Red Robin in North Charlotte says she got more than she ordered when she got home and discovered an edible treat inside her bag.

How'd she know it was an edible treat? She ate it and six hours later. That customer. She saw dead relatives. That customer who wished to not be identified. Why? Why? Unless you ate it.

She ate it. She called it Red Robin. That was she ordered, the Red Robin. Yeah, right? She's right. I'll called it Red Robin. That was the order. The Red Robin. Yeah, right? She's right. I'll take the Red Robin. Can I get a rolling Robin? Like, you didn't do anything wrong.

Also, you're on the news. Yeah. They're probably in front of your house. Did they modulate her voice? Yeah. I don't want to say. Said that her takeout order included a mystery bar along with a business card this is a fucking entrepreneur this is like yes this dude is work you talk about

crack through mcdonald's and i love you said dude like we're just assuming this is a dude and not a woman right this is not a woman who's selling out of both i don't know it could be a woman i took the salad out of the bag i'm sorry i took the salad out of the bag and i noticed this treat at the bottom like a rice crispy Krispie treat, she said. I would have eaten that shit so fast. That would have been the first thing I ate. Yeah. Here's one of the dumbest parts of this story.

I need dessert first. It had a marijuana leaf on the card, so we didn't know if it was infused with marijuana or something else. What? I'd say it is. No. You know exactly. What drug dealers like?

So here's the deal. With my heroin, I put a marijuana leaf on it. Also, no, I just made you a regular Rice Krispie treat, but also I sell weed. Also, if you like the Rice Krispie treat, you're going to love the organic weed. Yes. Both are organic. Just so you know. Farm to table.

Women don't do stuff at Red Robin. They go big. Right right they would start a whole they would be at like uh what's the raw vegan place doing it yeah sure tasty green the chicks selling farts in a jar you see how luxurious her jars she's not she's not dropping a new thing now she sells a new thing now. She sells her boob sweat. Boob sweat. That's what she sells now. Same girl.

Wait, did you say she went to West Elm? She went to West Elm. You know I got a West Elm silverware at the house. Gold. Yeah, it's magic. It's very nice. It's good stuff. They don't mess around.

So it had a marijuana leaf on the card, so we didn't know if it was infused with marijuana or something else. It is. Assume it is. There's no doubt.'s no one now at last check the contact information on the card including the twitter account for the product is no longer active and nobody picks up when the phone number is called yeah so this person was making to go orders at red robin and then including a full business flyer for their edibles menu and giving a free edible. And I'm going to say that that person

This worked a hundred times before the hundred and first That person does not work at Red Robin. How many times have you been to Red Robin and they didn't get your order right? You're like, oh, I'm sorry. So this is a person who works for the person at Red Robin who is distributing it and they screwed it up. And they're 26. Here's

the plan. Here's the plan. It's Red Robin. Numbers are down. I got an idea to get your numbers up. Get in the plan. 26-year-old. Here's the plan. It's Red Robin numbers are down. I got an idea to get your numbers up. Get in the edibles. I guarantee you they'll be back twice. Twice in one night. Because they'll be like, did I go to Red Robin's tonight? I can't remember.

That's what was in the back. That's professional. That's a good-looking Rice Krispie. Is that multicolored? You know what? Is that the color of the bed? That could be a woman. Now look at the thing.

It is a woman. Too much craft and care. I want this person to go be a woman. It is a woman. Too much craft and care. I was supposed to go on Shark Tank. Also, sweet treats. Thank you. Yeah, that's definitely... By the way, weed was on the ballot recently in a lot more states. It's like the only few states where it's illegal. You are test driving.

It literally was on the ballot. The decision was so hard they were rolling it on the ballot. Rolled it up and smoked it. It says, Kel's Sweet Treats. The Incredible Edibles. And it looks like it does have a picture of a woman. I look at the color. That's flowers.

Hang on. Is R. Kelly selling this stuff? No. Charlotte. Perfect. Charlotte, North Carolina. Twitter, at Kel's Sweet Treats. Kenan did great. We don't know about Kel. Twitter, at Kells. K-E-L-L-Z. Kenan did great. We don't know about Kell. And then a phone number. It was a really good burger.

Would you guys like to guess? Before they got shut down, I have a screenshot of their Twitter account. How many followers did they have? I'm going to read you the bio first. Local in Charlotte, North Carolina. Then a whole bunch of cool emoticons that say basically drug stuff infused desserts and drinks with your name to order so i think you could do some sort of customization on their desserts and stuff if

you want to want to buy charlotte north carolina joined december 2020 right pandemic okay yeah entrepreneurs like how many followers do you think How many followers do you think they have on Twitter? How many followers do you think they have before they shut it down? You know, number of followers? What? 10,000. Okay. Jay, what do you think? So many followers.

And all I'm thinking of is Charlotte and Red Robin, and all I want is that Price is Fried Chicken. How good was that place? You ever been to Price is Fried Chicken? The chicken coop in Charlotte. We were doing the comedy zone there, and it was the best thing ever. All right. I'm going to say 3,200. Okay. I'm going to say $3,200.

I'm going to say $789. I wish, guys. $115. Oh, that's it? They're just starting out. I shot it over. I got about the whole Bible Belt situation. He saw the packaging and was like, this is a professional operation.

I might go to Raising Cane's and get some of that cocaine. Raising C-A-I-N. Yeah, Raising Cane's. I'll have the Raising Cane's. I'll take the Raising Cane's. I'll have a Raising Cane. I'll have a Coke and some Raising Cane.

And then what? That's how you order it. Yeah, that's the combo. The customer. No meth, please. Or all ice. All ice. Ice that shit up. Ice. Get a cup of ice. No meth. Or all ice. All ice. Ice that shit up.

Ice. Get a cup of ice. Why is he giving me so much eye contact when he says that? He wants something. The customer. I've got a great idea. I'm seeing so much teeth he's rubbing. The customer said after she reported finding the edibles to management at the restaurant in University City,

she was told by the employee responsible that they – I'm sorry. I'm taking that again. She was told the employee responsible had been sent home and corporate leadership was now investigating. Yeah, man. You get corporate leader. I mean, if you work for Red Robin Corporate, you're like, we're waiting to do this. This is all we want to do. Activate me, please. Bottomless Fries at Red Robin? Yeah, that's their thing.

Bottomless Fries. The guy, they talked to the guy, and he said, this is what the guy who put the drugs in the bag, this is what he told corporate leadership. They talked to the guy, and he said it was something he didn't know he could do, and that he didn't know it was against their policy.

Yeah. Oh, you didn't know it was against your policy to put drugs in a Rice Krispie treat and slide it into a Red Robin at the curbside pickup? Also, any restaurant would say it's against our policy to put anything in the bag they didn't order. That is a Red Robin. Just what they didn't order at all. Yeah. Don't put an extra burger in there.

That's against our policy. Well, spiritually, look, people are down. That's against our policy Well spiritually Look people are down That's right You need a little pick me up They can't afford Certain restaurants So they want something fast Sure

Maybe you know They thought that this would be Helpful They were just trying to help Oh that's what I said I think there's a lot of times This worked Yeah

And we never heard about it Oh yeah Yeah Somebody was like Fuck I love this Red Robin Most people are like This is great Yes

Customers They're like This is my favorite Red Robin I blame the catchphrase people that are forgetting and not you know teaching people how to properly order it yeah exactly exactly so they then you get just so this might be on the person who ordered with all this is what we're trying to say with all of the marketing material in the bag i don't think you had the special order i think they were trying to grow their business through their to-go orders at their other job. Like when someone puts a rock in a little

thing on your driveway and is like, I do driveways and landscaping. It's like, oh, okay, that's a sample of what I do. It's the ugliest rock, too. I'm like, you couldn't put no quartz? Customers say the biggest worry is now safety. My concern, this is a a quote is that this is very

dangerous for people not knowing what's in it how much is in it she said if a child got it they could possibly be harmed really bad okay fine on the last part but the first two it looks like it tells you exactly what's in it and how much is in it it's well oh so it's a thing of like this lady is not against the drug. She just wants to know who makes it and what stuff is in it. It's Kel's. It's Kel's Sweet Treats. Kel's Sweet Treats. I don't know Kel.

Who is Kel? Exactly. R. Kelly. No. The customer said she handed the edible over. Kel and Winslow. There you go. Handed the edible over to the Charlotte Mecklenburg Police Department, which is now investigating.

Officers told her they plan to test it to find out what's exactly in it. Fine. WCNC, Charlotte, reached out directly to Red Robin CMPD to get details about the case. This is what I love. We're going to get out of here on this. Okay. On June 24th, CMPD, that charlotte mecklenburg police department told wcnc charlotte it doesn't have the ability to test products for thc these are the police they

should be they can't even test for we there be one guy on staff just take a bite you know like take a bite let's see what happens you know i they ate that shit, they went to the restaurant, and then they buried that shit. This is like, we can't test it with you. They found Kells, and they said, hey, do you do Christmas parties? The Charlotte Mecklenburg Christmas party is like the most slamming Christmas party ever. To them, see them, beep, beep, beep. You want to stay open? The cop said, we don't have the ability to test for THC and that the employee of Red Robin will not be facing any charges. Which I love.

You know how you can get a serial killer, like a Hannibal Lecter, to help the FBI find other serial killers? You mean you can't find one kid to just be like, take two potheads and just be like, gross. You're on staff. I bet you could smell it. CMPD did say though, that officers will explain to the red Robin employee why this cannot happen again. Don't ask.

There you go. I love that on a wrist. It's fine. A hundred percent. Hey, and there, that employee will be a Senator when he grows up. Sure.

Cause he's learning how politics works. That's right. You do this, you get a slap on the wrist, but he's learning how politics works. That's right. You do this, you get a slap on the wrist, but you move forward in this way. That's right. That's right. I love that nobody got arrested. I love that the cops are so – It's beautiful.

Imagine the cops are like, you do it. No. We all got to do it if we do it. Everybody take a corner. All right. Well, give us a taste of – A man sets up a store outside of a store. There you go.

Store outside of a store. you go store outside of a store That's coming up in segment 3 Also for our Patreon fans We'll talk to Byron about something stupid That either he did or he saw Or any of that stuff This is Dumb People Town with Byron Bowers He's got a new special called

Spiritual In Word And no he'll tell what it is New special called. Spiritual nigga. Thank you, and we'll be right back with more Dumb People Town. Stick around. Make it sound for more Dumb People Town. Hey, townies. It's the holidays, which can be pretty stressful, whether

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Jason Sklar. Brought to us by Megan Leskowski at Soymates Forever. Great. Soymates Forever. Here's the headline. Man arrested for stealing tvs from walmart comma comma selling them in parking lot wow side hustle you couldn't set that up somewhere else well doesn't this happen at every concert you take the merch that they're selling there and

you sell your merch as people are heading in to to get no they don't sell their merch i know but i'm saying he's got tvs who cares about how he got them but he's just posting up before people are heading into a place to get a tv he's going to the customers outside of best buy before yeah you have were they good oh they were good a lot of people they were just they were scammed but they would pull up in a white van be like it was a white van i've had that happen to me too these speakers but i had people buy and you bought them and they on the same way and they like hey man i got these tvs and they bought them they took it home and it was uh oven doors what because they fit perfectly and they give you the same weight that's like uh that's like rich

voss's old bit like a crackhead will sell you anything anything that's like i got an oven door i got a i got an iron cord yeah it's like Who needs that So wait But you heard the speakers And you bought them I just bought them And then you just And then I heard I took them home I heard them

And they were good And they still work Mine still work Because I gave them To my homeboy Are they good enough To scare a garter snake That's for our Patreon

No no no wait But but but The good thing is It's weird Because that's kind of The best place Because people go to Walmart looking for TVs. That's what I'm saying.

He's posting up where the customers are coming. Yeah, so, I mean, it's some crackhead type thing. It's foot traffic. It's crackhead logic. But I see the logic in it. You get it. You're not going to go to Home Depot. Right.

Nobody's going in there for a TV. Or Bed Bath & Beyond. Okay. Sell cookies out in front of a Baskin Robbins. There you go. People are coming for dessert. You're coming for dessert. They want something sweet. I got something that I got it for dessert. You're coming for dessert. They want something sweet.

I got something that I got it for you. You can choose to go there. That's why Kells should post it up there. That's right. Kells. All right. That's what the employee, when they leave the Red Robin, they should go work at. That's right.

Go work at Walmart, Outset, parking lot, TV. All right. Knoxville Man, this is in Tennessee, was arrested Saturday for stealing televisions from the Chapman Highway Walmart. So it's on a highway. I mean, do we really? Look, listen, Walmart has a lot of money. Like now I'm kind of on this guy's side. But also, go to a different Walmart.

Agreed. Or go to a Best Buy. Right. But don't go outside of the Walmart you just stole from. That's meth-headed type of thing. Because part of the stealing is the getting away. You don't stay there. Dan, this is half of an idea Because part of the stealing is the getting away. You don't stay there. Again, this is half of an idea.

You did the first half of the idea. I'm going to take it. He's on camera and everything. Yeah. 100%. Then selling them in the parking lot of the store, an incident report obtained by WVLT News states, officers responded to the Walmart around what time? Okay.

What time are you stealing TVs? Well, you want to sell them, too, so you want good foot traffic coming in and out of the Walmart. I say 10.37 a.m. A. Okay. What time are you stealing TVs? Well, you want to sell them too, so you want good foot traffic coming in and out of the Walmart. I say 10.37 a.m. A.M.? Jeez, what do you got? Man, I feel a.m. too.

I'm thinking I'm in the nine. Ooh, store just opened? No, Walmart opened earlier than that. Well, some are open all night. Some are open at seven. So you get enough time to go in while the employees are looking. But if it's 9 a.m., he's

been up all night. Yeah, but he's been plotting. He's sleeping when he's plotting. So here's the thing. You don't want to go at night because the inventory could be low. And so is the foot traffic of people in the parking lot wanting to buy TVs. Yeah, and then employees waking up. I used to work at Walmart. First job I

got fired from That was a fun firing, but that was my one of my first major fires out of many We do a whole thing on that Like nine is or something to get nine. I'm gonna go you got a case to score store store open. I'm gonna go 2 p.m. 2pm. All right for those of you shouting at your ham radios people love when we say that He offers responded to the Walmart around 9 p.m. All right. For those of you shouting at your ham radios, people love when we say that. He offers responded to the Walmart around 9 p.m. In the cover of darkness. You were 9 p.m. You were 9 p.m.

I said 9. P.m. But you were right on the 9. Where they found, all right, this name brings up so many questions to me. Donald Kirkland. Do you think he's from the Kirkland family that sells every- What if he's from Costco? Yeah. You know all the Kirkland brands. The Kirkland nuts and the Kirkland family that sells every- What if he's from Costco? Yeah.

You know all the Kirkland brands. Like the Kirkland Nuts and the Kirkland Grills. He's like, I'm going to start my- If he said, I got- Kirkland sells too many things. You know what I'm talking about? If he says, I got Kirkland TVs. You can get sweatshirts now.

Just say Kirkland. People love them. Thank you. I know. Kirkland makes golf balls. So they found him in possession of shoplifted property. Donnie Kirkland. Donnie Kirkland.

Donnie Kirkland. Donnie Kirkland. Donnie Kirkland. Donnie Kirkland. And of course, Kirkland then ran from responding officers. Yeah. But they were able to take him into custody

according to the police. It's hard to run when you're holding a 50-inch TV. A flat screen, a Vizio. You know what I'm saying? A Roku.

50-inch Vizio. Wow. He like, no, no, he looks like this. Well, no, he's doing that thing where you're shifting

as you try to hold it from the top. I got it. I like the idea of Byron. He's like running like this. No, he's doing that thing where you're shifting as you try to hold it from the top. I got it. I like the idea of Byron. He's portaging a canoe across. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. That's the fastest way to run because you can see. That is the best.

You can't get no leg mobility like this. 100%. You can't hop a fence. You can't hop a fence crediting the TV like this. Right. Byron, the idea of his head going back. His head going back and forth. You better hope he doesn't catch any wind because he's gone. He's going down.

He's going to take off. All right. Afterwards, Kirkland told officers he had stolen how many TVs? How many TVs? He told them? He told them. He's really bad at this. He's bad at stealing.

The devil was high. How many TVs did he steal? I hope he bragged. And he also stole the karaoke machine and camping equipment from the Walmart. He's bad at stealing. The devil was high. How many TVs did he steal? I hope he bragged. And he also stole the karaoke machine and camping equipment from the Walmart. He's a goddamn show party, man. I see what he's doing. He's setting up a shop.

How many TVs did he steal, man? Ten pop up in my head. Ten, okay. That's a lot. I'm going to go four. Your guess from earlier. Sixteen. This dude stole three TVs. Okay. That's it.

Within one. All right, good. The Walmart manager also told officers he saw Kirkland loading one of the TVs into a cart in the store. Yeah. And he was charged with theft. You load it into a cart. How do you just walk out with the TV?

First off, wait, he stole three that day? Three that day and some camping equipment and a karaoke machine to make it fun. Yeah. He's like, I have a fun store. No, you need the karaoke machine to be like, hey, you're going into Walmart? Come over here. I got better. I can beat their prices all day.

To the tune of a song. I'm rolling back. Fuck them. They're rolling forward. I'm literally on a cart rolling back. Come get this shit. I'm rolling back out of here. And he's singing it to the tune of God's Plan by Drake.

It's playing behind him. And he's like, this is God's Plan. TVs. I think overall he stole like 10 TVs. I think he did. He did three in a day? He mentioned three. So you're right. It could have been more, but he mentioned three.

Also, it's like when you mention three, you know. It's like, how much did you have to drink? Three drinks, and you're like, okay, that was 10. You know he was going to get caught. That's greed. It's greed. Even if it was God playing you're like, okay, that was 10. You know he was going to get caught. That's greed. It's greed. Even if it was God playing God, like, nigga, I ain't say greed. You took too much.

Yeah. You took too far. One for the church, one for the house. That's right. You know you got to give one to church. Give one to the church and you're like, okay, we're good. This is for the side room when the church is full. So that you can watch the pastor.

So they can see the service because there's too many people in the room. All right, there you go. That is the story and that is the show. That's so stupid. He is Byron Bowers. He's our good friend. He's got a brand new special out on Hulu and on Disney. It's called One More Time.

Spiritual Nigga. Unless you're a Nazi. Unless you're a Nazi. Look, we can't say it, but we can watch it. All of us can watch it. All of us can watch it. Support it. Support this dude because he's funny as hell. Live life to the fullest.

That's it. There's a lot going on in the world. Live life to the fullest. Oh, shit, we've got to get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound. Don't get down. It's Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Calm your down.

It's Dumb People Town. Starbanes Audio. A podcast network.