Dumb People Town - Chad Daniels - Phallic Fiasco

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

This week Chad Daniels comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is one of the worst, and unexpected, experiences you can have in a waterpark. The second story involves a usb cable being where it shouldn't be. Final story is about the worst search party ever.

Skypains, out of here. Hey, townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Daniels. Chad Daniels. Hi, Chad.ulation you. Population Daniels. Chad Daniels. Hi, Chad. The devil went down to Daniels. The devil went up to South Dakota. Chad Daniels Band is my favorite band with a fiddle.

Did you get a freeze yet up in Minnesota? No, no freeze yet. I know. There's no freeze in northern Illinois either. People are like, what the hell? It's called global warming. It's called global warming. I absolutely love it.

I will tell you that when my bits come on XM, and people are like, what the hell? It's called Global Warming. I love it. It's called Global Warming. I absolutely love it. I will tell you that when my bits come on XM, it's Charlie Daniels' picture that accompanies it. Shut up. And people are like, dude. Can you get some of his royalties? So the band Whitney, when the band Whitney comes on, Whitney Houston's picture comes on. Really?

Yes. Same damn thing. You do your work. Serious XM. Charlie Daniels is the biggest piece of garbage ever now like he used to be kind of like an interesting but now he's like just a weird i'm gonna take a crossbow and just shoot people he's one of them rowdy friends okay and he's also dead is charlie daniel's dead yeah okay well he was he was an asshole he was the original chuck d it was the original chuck

d uh but i want you to be getting some of his royalties. Is that wrong? To just want you to- You should get- Charlie Daniels band. Let's be honest. How many Charlie Daniels songs do you think are being played on XM other than one? Devil Went Down to Georgia. And?

That's it. Welcome to the Terror Dome. The Charlie's Angels thing? Well, Chad Daniels is here, and he's one of our favorite stand-up comedians. That's nice of you. People make their way in this business from a number of different paths as to how things are. I think it's amazing that you, you know, we're all stand-ups, all four of us sitting here. You have really carved your way through the world of stand-up comedy.

That's how we got to you. Someone was like, have you heard this guy he's so funny and we're like we don't know him does he where does he live is our first question is like well he's in Minnesota but they're not in Minneapolis then I was hearing bits of yours on Sirius XM like this guy's amazing oh this is the number one album remember a couple years ago and you were just like okay we got to get this guy on you know who told us? Colleen McGar. Oh, nice.

Chad Daniels. He's a killer. Chad Daniels. You got to get him on. And we were like, okay, so we got him on. And so now you've come on

a couple of times. It's so nice to have you back here. It's good to be back. It's good to be back doing what we like to do. Right. To be in the same room together feels awesome.

And make something funny. Yeah, make something funny together out of something dumb. Yeah. The world's getting dull's like it's like found art yeah right we found this this macaroni art of a dip shit let's go at it you want to do it let's do it okay ready this is headed by kyle andrews do you guys remember his handle yet uh jason are you reading it no at late night nachos oh yeah it's a great handle that's great it's a great handle any comic could have gone with at late night nachos you'd be like yeah do you oh you mean so and so yeah yeah it's a great handle to me it's great it's a great handle any comic could have

gone with at late night nachos you'd be like yeah do you oh you mean so and so yeah uh it's like uh ben schwartz rejected jokes yeah it's like a great great late night nachos okay not just nachos no late late night nachos okay i'm gonna read you guys the headline this is a story like uh sometimes i feel like i if i find if i get a good story i'm like oh we'll break this down and riff out and then other ones i'm it's it's its own story like in it of itself it doesn't really but our reactions to it will be good this is more the latter god i love it it's a cautionary tale as well so if you're eating don't eat right you're eating late night nachos be be careful. Okay. Okay.

And a mutual friend of ours has done this, and I thought it was a great idea until I read this story. Let's hear it. Friends shatter their legs and feet after breaking into closed water slide. Nope. Now, Andrew Santino has broken into a water park late at night before when he was like a teenager, late teenager. Yeah. And he was like, oh, it was so much fun.

It was like the greatest thing I ever did was me and this girl. We were flirting. I mean, he's talking about this on air. We broke into a water park. We like had the run of the place ourselves. We made out. Like it was so much fun. I think it was probably like 18, 19 years old.

Talk about wet and wild. So. But this is when that doesn't go well. And I was like, what a fun thing to do. They just leave the slides on all night long. Yeah. Oh, they do? Well, they did at the point where Santino went, they did.

Here, turns out, they did not. Okay. So it's just a lot of... Or could you imagine if you didn't realize it was a tube slide? Because those screws are exposed more. Oh, yeah. Could you imagine looking up 10 feet and still seeing your elbow skin where it was? Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.

You cut your elbow, and I don't care. There's your guys' TikTok. That's my favorite. Have you seen that TikTok? I don't watch TikTok. It's an old Vine. You would love it. I'm going to say it.

Say it. I'm going to say it. This kid is being picked on in the computer lab, and he looks like the kid who would get picked on. He says, I'm about to say it. And he turns around, and he points his finger. I'm about to say it. And they're all like, say it.

And he's like, I don't care that you broke your elbow. And the room goes, oh. I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. Everybody's like, you got it, Zass. I sent it to you. OK.

You did send it to me. You jump in whenever you have it, boys got it, Zass. I sent it to you. Okay. You did send it to me. You jump in whenever you have it, boys. Okay, I will. Two friends each have a broken leg and badly damaged feet after they broke into a swimming pool during a drunken night. I don't care that you broke your elbow. You know what? I'm about to say it.

I don't care that you broke your elbow. The full video is everyone reacts and it's wonderful. So dumb. Okay. Two friends have each broken a leg and badly damaged their feet after they broke into a swimming pool during a drunken night out and went down a water slide. So they broke into a swimming pool. It's not a water park.

It went down a water slide. It's a swimming pool with a slide. I'm assuming there's no water in the pool. No. It's not a water park. It's a swimming pool with a slide. I'm assuming there's no water in the pool. No, it's worse. Also, there are dead bodies in the pool. Two great names. Claire Vickers and her friend

Barry Douglas. We knew a girl named Shira Vicker. Really? Best teacher at RTHS ever and taught forever. i think he even taught my mom bruce vickery bruce vickery he taught driver's ed don't you go to the or a turtleneck in june was just a man i mean he'd be like daniel like a big oh my god i love chad did you go did you go up religious at all to go to church or anything yeah i was made to

go to church yes what what sect of lutheran l go to church, yes. What sect of it? Lutheran. Lutheran. Ooh, okay. So it's not as bad as Catholic, right? Catholic light. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were the first persons to say the F word after they left church. Right.

Exactly. When the Vikings fumbled or something. Right, right, right, right. Son of a bitch! Jesus H. fucking Christ! Honey, you just said sorry Two hours ago Oh honey I don't care I'm all fucking pissed

Save it for next week We're in the ditch You ever put your car in a ditch Have you ever put your car in a ditch Yeah I rolled a car My mother lent me her sunglasses And she said Don't you dare lose these.

You've lost so many pairs. Right. So we were leaving this girl's cabin, and it was on a gravel road, and there was a hairpin turn. Yeah, of course. And as soon as I made the hairpin turn, I go- Glasses. Forgot my glasses. We got to go back.

So I go back to get them. In my head, I'd already made the hairpin turn. Oh, no. So I hit this bitch at 40. And I'm trying to correct, and we barely missed the hairpin turn sign. Yeah. And we rolled it. We went back the next day.

We rolled it into an alfalfa field. And when we went back the next day, there was upturned earth and then space, like uninterrupted space. And then more. Because you were in the air. Because we were flipping. Flipped it. And I was with my friend, this guy named Kyle Ecker, and we ended up on the back of the car. So we were looking straight up into outer space.

And I was like, Kyle, Kyle, nothing. All of a sudden we hear metal bending. We go back onto the hood. All the rest of the windows that weren't shattered, shatter. And we're hanging upside down. I'm like, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. And finally he starts giggling that piece of shit. Oh, God.

He was trying to mess with you. Yeah, he sure was. Literally trying to do a bit. But how funny to just go, I'm going to be quiet so he thinks I'm dead. Yeah. Good one, Kyle. That's quick thinking. That's quick thinking.

Good joke. Great joke. Kyle, you get to walk back and get the sunglasses now, you fucking son of a bitch. What was your friend? Shira Vicker went to, on a trip to Israel with us when we were in high school. When you stole?

No, we stole in college. We were all, and we all got drunk, like at 17 years old, 18 years old. They gave us a weekend away where we were supposed to visit relatives or go do something. Sure, how'd that go?

You just got drunk? So we just went to a bar in Ha haifa we were in haifa right and we all like drank like huge mugs of beer like in we're not equipped to drink like you're just not ready or don't understand it and then the next day everyone was hung over and everybody we like went on and i threw up out the side of the bus as was moving and it just like sprayed over the side of this you could see my mistake on the side of the bus and like we were all just basically caught

and they called her she was the one she didn't get that drunk really at all they called the house where she was staying and they didn't cover for her her house didn't cover for her and so she got sent home so we all stayed and Shira Vicker got sent home and it was one of all stayed, and Shira Vicker got sent home.

And it was one of those moments where you're like, we all could step up together right now. And all go home, and we were just like, Vicker's taking the fall for this one. Yeah. Shira Vicker, hi. I'm the chaperone Bruce Vickery. And you're headed on back.

So the Vickery, to me, seems, and again, from someone who's Jewish and not Catholic. Seems like a room where they keep all the things for the altar. The thing that you swing that smokes. Sconces. Yeah, for sure. Go to the Vickery and get touched, is what they say. Go to the Vickery and get your robe.

There's two extra robes hanging in the closet. You guys would love this Vickery. All right, Claire Vickers and her friend Barry Douglas, right, who sounds like he had a talk show from 1972 to 1972. Or he was one of the three My Three Sons. He was the middle son in My Three Sons. Barry Douglas. Okay.

Doesn't the Vickery sound holy, but only because there's glory holes in it? Yeah. It's like a different way to describe it. Vickery. Vickery. What are these? What do I confess through this hole? Well, a lot of of things you know it's just the rectory right okay claire vickers and friend barry douglas remain stuck in a flume for how long with broken shins and

shattered feet oh before they were rescued stuck in a. Yeah, which is just the tube of the... That's an R. Kelly song. Don't stop. Sorry. It's problematic. Trapped in a flume. Okay. How long do you think they were stuck with shattered feet and broken shins and each having

a broken leg? Chad, what do you think? I'm going to go with... So Sundays are closed. They broke in on Saturday. That's boom. You get there. I'm going to go with, so Sundays are closed. They broke in on Saturday. That's boom. You get there. I'm going to go with 33 hours.

Wow. That would be horrific. Okay. You'd be in so much pain. Yeah, because they can't have their phones on them if they're going down into water. So you've got to wait for people to- Well, if they thought there was water. Okay.

I'm going to say 12 hours. Okay. I'm going to say seven hours. Okay. They were stuck in the flume for two hours. Oh, big fucking deal.

I don't know. You ever had your shin shattered? Man up, Douglas. The two said they broke into Aldershot Lido

in Hampshire in the early mornings of August 4th. Oh, New York City after a night of drinking and decided to go down a slide mornings of August 4th. Oh, New York City. After a night of drinking and decided to go down a slide after splashing water from the

top to generate extra speed, Claire and Barry stepped into the tube together, thinking it was clear all the way down. But just before they came out of the bottom, their legs collided with a barrier that had been placed at the exit. Oh!

Guys. Put the barrier at the entrance. I agreed. So you're going down this fucking tube. Oh! Drunk. I can't. I can't even.

Feet and shin. Everything shattered. It's like an accordion, I imagine. Oh, Lord. It's just all the way up your shins. Let the berry hit the barriers. Let the berry hit the barriers. Could you imagine?

It would be, first of all, you're having the greatest time ever. You're like, we pulled it off. You've been swimming in the pool. You're drunk. You might have said we. You might have actually exclaimed we. Yes. And then Claire goes, barrier. you're drunk you might have said we you might have actually exclaimed we yes and then claire goes

barrier he just goes it's just it's just buried we are screwed they were they were rescued after police were called because they're still stuck in the tube because the barrier is there and they can't get out right they can't climb out yes Right. They can't climb out. Yes. They have broken legs. Right. I love this. Oh, my God. This is insane. Like, it is.

I wouldn't, like, I would never have thought to say to Santino, like, dude, that's dumb. That's dumb to break into a water park, right? But it is on some level dumb. Because you don't know what they do. First of all, it's dark and you have no clue what they do. Maybe they put spikes up at the end. Okay. We've talked about this.

Every couple years, you hear about somebody down in the Ozarks who was jumping off a cliff. And what a lot of people don't know, in the Ozarks, every once in a while, there just happens to be rebar. And someone will land on rebar, and it goes right through them. And it goes right through them. Or just like there was a guy I knew growing up, and he was in a wheelchair because he just dove headfirst into water that nobody had swum in before. No one knew how deep it was. It's a silly move.

I know. It is. I hate to pick on a guy in a wheelchair. Of course. But I'm sure he would also be like, dumb move. But that guy, so these guys, hopefully, to hundreds of people in their sphere are the cautionary well now us and now us and now all the thousands of people listen if you ever break into a water just look

before you leave or don't do it how about don't or do it but you better do what they're gonna do when they get there that day and just make sure everything is operating of course like you if you break into a water park for at least an hour, you have the part-time job of checking So don't go through a tube. Don't go through a tube. Without checking. You have no idea. Because there's no way to know in a tube.

Only open air slides. Only open air slides. Yep. Right. Check the top and bottom. Yes, the bottom for sure. For sure. I can't believe they put it on the bottom.

What if they would have put like a crisscross rebar? Right. One of those and they just went straight Play-Doh factory. Oh, God. Right through the end of the slide. Through it. Because you're right. What are you preventing?

Yeah, your leg goes off. What are you preventing at the bottom? You think someone's going to jump up from the water and climb up the slide? Yeah. In the middle of the night? Exactly. No, they're doing this to break people's shins so that someday there's a story. I think so too. Yeah, there's a terrifying story. I'm honestly asking this because I haven't been to someday there's a story. I think so too.

Yeah, there's a terrifying story. So I'm honestly asking this because I haven't been to a water park in years. Sure, I have. Okay. Oh, I have. I just came from one.

Are they super expensive? Like the tickets, are they like outright cheaper? No, it depends. Like if you're Wisconsin Dells, you're going Noah's Ark, I think you're looking at like 42 bucks for the day,

maybe 60. I think Hurricane Harbor, which is the one that's connected to all the six flags, is about 65 bucks. Okay Hurricane Harbor, which is the one that's connected to all the Six Flags, is about $65. Okay, $65. Per person. Is that a hopper?

You go in both parks, though, with that $65? No, $65. I mean, Six Flags is like $90 or $85. I think they're pretty reasonable. Yeah. And then they offer you $40 frozen pizzas. Right, right. I think that's where they get it.

And Coca-Cola that's all crushed ice. And then you sit down to eat it in a beehive. You sit down where bees are making honey. You get two options. You guys want to sit with the bees or the ants? Or the murder hornets.

There's so many bees it's like a Kurt Braunler bit. There are so many bees you walk out a kurt braunler bit there are so many bees you walk out with a beard i remember one year up in wisconsin dells i have so many wisconsin dell stories do you have any dell stories you ever go south to the dells i will yeah okay driven through the dells a ton there's a great tim harmston bit about a beard of bees where he has the record yeah and they go oh that's you've got some bees there. Some bees. Some.

The most bees. The most bees. Ever. It was my nephew Hunter's birthday, and he wanted to go to a water park, and our family was not going to shell out the money for everybody to go to Noah's Ark, which is like cream of the crop water park. I actually want to do that next time we're there. It's wonderful. I took all my nephews there a couple of summers ago.

We had a great time. night and so we all we all could afford to go to family fun land and so family fun land is just kind of a step down sure you know there's like go karts and they like find one that works like put the f you yeah family fun there's a there's a like a mirror fun house like that in of the water park. It's like swing around fun town in St. Louis. And at one point I look over, and you guys know I don't drink beer as a rule, as an option if I have one. But I look over, and it's $5 for 32 ounces of beer. And I look at my cousin Kenny, and I go, you just want to get fucked up. That's right.

Let's do it. We got so hammered at Family Fun Land. Oh, so much fun. Come here, kids! I know. I know. I can't believe a guy named Kenny would get wasted in a place called Family Funland. That's where Kenny's were made. Yes. Yes. It's what Kenny's were

born to do. Do you guys mind if we play through? It's a video. When you're at Kenny and you show up at Family Funland, it could be you may have never stepped foot on property. They will say welcome back to you. Good to see you again. Good to see you.

Dan, we get that sometimes when we've never been somewhere and we're like, oh, you've seen us do something. They just feel like, yeah. That's you not realizing that you've seen us on something. And you can't say, hey, we've never been here before. Then it becomes our bit. How do I know you? And it's like, I don't know what you watch.

Do you want me to list all the credits? Now we're going to be an asshole here. So they got rescued. That would be Barry and Claire. After police were called to investigate reports of kids messing around in the pool. Claire said, I couldn't think straight as the pain was excruciating. Yes. Quote, it was like a scene out of a horror film Like Saw

How about just Saw I don't want to say Saw Like Saw Maybe more hostile to I never saw Saw You don't need to You should see Saw I don't know I flip back

I go up or back and forth on that Graphic description warning for all of our listeners Graphic description warning I might not be able to hear this I'm going to make eye contact with you Her right leg was completely broken So her shin bone was pushed out of her skin And she shattered every single bone

In her left foot That's called a compound fracture Yeah her skin and she shattered every single bone in her left foot. So that's a compound fracture. Barry, how did that come to be? Compound fracture? Yeah. This feels like a Your Mom's House episode. Compound is things put together. Why is it non-compound

fracture? Also, compound is where like a cult leader makes everybody live. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it should just be called the gross one right exactly how'd you break your leg it was the gross one my bone was i had a sticky outie i would accept that my buddy claire do you think we're gonna starve in here i'm not i just ate my knee my bone meeting cartilage her right leg was completely broken as i said uh shattered every bone in her foot barry broke his left fibula and shattered both of his ankles.

Oh, my God. I'm imagining that they went down side by side or- Yes, one on top of each other. That's wild. Like, you know, laying on top of him. Like, let's go down together. Yeah. Oh, no, yo, they probably went slalom style maybe.

Who knows? Okay. All I know is like even Tiger Woods is like, you know, start to know where you're going. What a quote. I mean, they're so lucky they didn't go one after another. Well. Oh, shit. Did I ruin it?

No, no, no, no, no. That's what I did. I don't know if it's in here. I skipped around some of the stuff because it got deep. I can't. But okay, it's not in here, I will say. She almost went head first. Oh, well.

At the end of that, you're dead. Or you're dead. Or your hands. It depends. I don't think that your hands, because you wouldn't know it. Stop your head. Yeah. I don't think they would.

I don't think anyone's stronger. I think no. She's done. No. Okay. Thank God she did not do that. Yeah. What are we going to do?

What are we going to do? It was all I said for ages, said Claire. No, actually, two hours. Tough guy. Graphic content warning. What are you going to do? Was all I said for ages, said Claire. Actually, two hours. Graphic content warning. What are you going to do? You're going to be in a chair for like nine months. You're going to be sitting down for a while. Here's that content warning.

Quote, I was banging and banging as my foot was hanging off. I was trying to hold that up. So Barry said the pain was unbearable. Unbearable? Unbearable. It was one of the most horrific experiences I've had in my life. That was the name of his talk show. From 72 to 72, unbearable.

Unbearier. It's a show you don't want to watch. No, the hook is people won't like it. They like it so much it's unbearable. The pair remained trapped inside the chute, as we said, for two hours. Unbearlievable? Scary. Well, that's Factor.

It's Factor Fiction Show. Screaming in agony. So that's what people thought were kids, is these two stuck in the tube. Just screaming. They can't. Kids are screaming around. They can't. There's no water to splash.

You can't, like, throw anything. You're just yelling out the end of a tube. And like Jay said, you have no cell phone because you don't want it to get in the water. You're in water. Right, unless you have a Galaxy 7. That's unreal. Eventually, they were rescued by three police officers who had been called by nearby residents reporting that kids

had broken into the Lido. Now, I feel like somebody's going to be like, it's Lido. I don't know. Lido to me. Lido. They also were lucky that this wasn't a full-on water park. This was like Spring Lake and Rochelle. There's a whole bunch of houses around it with friends. You'd walk over to Spring Lake, and they have a couple slides as well.

Sure. A little public pool. A lot of my life there. A lot of good girl cheeses and frozen water macaulays. Nice. But if they had broken into a water park, it's all parking lots. No one's going to know you're in there until what you said, until work the next day.

And if it's closed on Sunday. But no water parks closed on a Sunday. I don't know. The ones owned by Chick-fil-A are. Yeah. Fair enough. Thank you. Okay.

Claire is sharing her story in hopes to prevent others from making the same mistake as her. Thank you. If anybody wants to Google Claire Vickers and Barry Douglas because you have a fascination with like slowing down accidents. There is way more details to this that I have left out, but we will get out of here with story one on this.

This is insane. How old is Claire Vickers and Barry Douglas? Are they the same age? They are not. Okay, so how old is Claire and how old is Barry? In fact, we'll do it this way. They're separated by one year.

You have to guess the year that's between them. Okay, great. So if they were 11 and 13, you would guess 12. Okay, we got it. Thank you, Dan. Well, 11 and 13 bones don't shatter like that. There's still little signs. Yeah, there's still little malleable. I can't stop picturing these two going around to

middle schools and giving their testimonials. This is the helicopter paramedics. I hope they do it. I hope they say, I'm going to introduce you to somebody today who made a bad decision. They tell the whole story. They point to bring that kid out, and they go, that kid's me. Everybody looks. I had one of those.

We had one of those at RTHS. This guy told his horrible life story about a kid that nobody believed in and all these things that had happened to this person and how he overcame everything. And he was really championing this person. And he goes, I'm going to bring that person out here right now. And I'm sitting at our table looking and he goes, he goes, come out here. But he can't because that kid's me. Come out here. We had a public speaker in middle school where he had set himself on fire, but lived.

And then his opening thing was, a lot of people ask me, what happened to your face? And I don't tell them the real story. You'll get that later. I like to tell people I was bobbing for apples in Greece. And this kid, maybe like two sections away, it's dead quiet in the auditorium.

And this kid in our grade goes, what the fuck? It was so great. Because everyone was just like, what's happening right now? That's like the moment at which the principal turns to the vice principal and is like, you never vetted this guy? Did you ever see the speech? He had, he's missing an arm because I had to remove it.

And then he's like, well, you know, I can't go to restaurants because they only seed whole parties. And we're just like, what the fuck is going on with this guy? This is the moment where you're like, maybe I shouldn't go into stand-up comedy. He almost turned you off. I did go to one restaurant, but they charged an arm and a leg. Am I right? Am I right? That's when I thought I could do this.

I only like Def Leppard post. I hate to shoulder the load on this one. Chad, you are a guest. You can pick where in the order you would like to go. If you want to go first, go for it. I'll go first. Okay. What?

34. 34. I think they're older. I think they're dumb old people. Okay. So that'd be like 33 and 35. Okay. 34.

Walter Payton. Sure. Kirby Puckett. I think they're 19. Nice call. Kirby. 19. 19. I think they're 27 so 26

okay and 28 okay i agree with i think they're older than they should know what's going on they're not teenagers are are any of you gonna tell this story to your kids yep yeah definitely i might tell this to other people's kids what What if I talk to your kid for a second? You ever go to a water slide at night? Don't. Or, like I said, for at least a half hour, you have a part-time job. And that job is checking everything you're about to do. I'm just going to go up and I'm going to touch my daughter's shin and go,

you like that bone in there? Exactly. You like that stain in this podcast I was on? Listen to this. Okay. Claire Vickers. Get your answers in now, townies. Wherever you are, yell into the Zoom while you work remotely.

Who's older, Dan? Just start by telling us who's older. Do you want to guess who's older? Who do you think is older, Claire or Barry? I think Claire's older. Okay. Barry. Barry.

Claire is older. Oh. Well done, Chad. I could tell Barry was along for the ride. Yeah. Barry was convinced. His cradle was being robbed. he loves the older ladies. I hope at one point one of them said,

you've never done anything like this before? It's great. What could go wrong? Barry Douglas are the year in between. I'll give you that number. The year between the two of them is

45. Yes! They're so old. We undershot it. Claire and I are the same age. She is 46 years old. What are her grandkids going to say about this? She is a grandmother.

She is? Yes. I had to take that out so that you guys wouldn't get us the age. Dan, that could have screwed us up even more. We could have been like, Dan. I will tell you this. Early fucking does leave to doing dumb stuff like breaking into water. Yeah, because raising kids is like working in a factory.

And when they get older, you're like, oh, God, I got to do fun stuff again. August 4th was a Wednesday. This is them on a Wednesday. This happened this past year? Yes. That's my daughter's birthday. Yes. So you know it was a Wednesday. Yeah. This is them on a Wednesday. So this happened this past year? Yes. That's my daughter's birthday. Yes. So you know it was a Wednesday because I was the next day. Claire's grandchildren got picked up by Claire's child.

Yes. And then she called Bear and was like, I need to let off some steam. That's right. You want to go out tonight. I don't want to get crazy. Right. I just want to go out and have a little bit of fun. Let's break into something.

Wear your flip-flops. We're young. Wear your flip-flops, and then you'll never wear those again for the next eight months. Sorry, number one. Wow, that is crazy. Dan, that is crazy. I'm sorry for those who were triggered in any way, shape, or form. And I'm sorry for these two people who, I admit, you could have very easily been harmless fun.

It is trespassing and breaking energy. But you were old enough to know better. Yeah. I'm sorry. Chad Daniels here, and I'm going to tell you, I'm not sorry if you were triggered because this is how we learn lessons. That's right. The more triggered you are, the less you'll do this.

Stay out of a darkened water barrel. Because we've all had friends that are going to go do something dumb. And now to be able to go, look, I can't stop you from doing the dumb thing you're going to do. You will always remember this story. But just check the gate. Cautionary tale. All right.

First story down. We'll come back. We'll talk about what Chad Daniels has going on as well as the three of us. This is Dumb People Town. We're so happy Chad is back. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound.

There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to DPT, Dumb People Town. Before we get into what Chad Daniels is doing, Dan Van Kirk has some exciting things on the horizon. Starting on the 11th of November, I'm bringing back small group games. It's just a comedy night where we also kind of do camp games or Jackbox. It's very limited because I want it to actually be a hang it's only 12 uh like 12 people they will sell out don't get left out they go for at least an hour and a half and um they're fun it's it's zoom and it's digital uh people with good vibes and then obviously i do the bingos and bingo nights by the way katie dugan came to ann arbor oh really, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a big... So sweet.

I almost didn't recognize her without her garage behind her. I was like, we've seen all these fans in their environments, and I was like, where's Katie Dugan's garage? Yeah, all those shows fall under the umbrella of... I produce them myself. They're called Hub City shows, and she's a big Hub City person. I always think of her when I think of those shows. In truth, just because she's such a good fan.

She's great. She's such a good partner. She just hangs out. So all that stuff's at danielvancurk.com. It's all reasonable. It's all fun, and it's just a good vibe. We have... First things first at Patreon,

where we're doing new episodes of Cheap Seats. Cheaper Seats. Cheaper Seats. It is so silly and so fun. Did you guys shoot the one? By this drop, you should have. It should be out, right? The balloon challenge? No, no, no. You know when your kid keeps a balloon in the air? But by this drop, it should be out, right? The balloon challenge?

No, no, no. You know when your kid keeps a balloon in the air? Yes, yes, yes. It's like an actual national championship. Balloon World Cup. We'll do that coming up in the next batch of that. And you're someday going to do the Super Bowl of Gourds. So we'll do that.

And there's a beard and mustache competition that we're looking at also as well. But we've done Battle of the Network Stars. I know. It's diving. Kabaddi. Kabaddi. High dive. National high dive championship. Cornhole is November.

I mean, there's just, it's incredible. It is patreon.com slash Skulled Brothers. New episode of that, plus extra content, kind of like we do on this Patreon here. Our Seattle shows at the Croc have been moved to May, just so you know. It's the weekend after Mother's Day. So if you bought tickets for that, we thank you.

Let them know. They'll honor you and move you to the next date, which is the weekend after Mother's Day so if you bought tickets for that we thank you let them know they'll honor you and move you to the next date which is the weekend after Mother's Day in Seattle which hopefully won't be maybe as rainy yeah no it'll be actually great but we have a bunch of dates as we were talking with Chad ahead of time you know we have a bunch of dates coming up one month so we're going to Tempe improv we just found out we're gonna be doing now we we always say we're not doing shows on New Year's

and you're going to do New Year's Eve. Do you do New Year's shows or no, Chad? Once in a great while if I can bring my kids or something.

Right. So it has to be worth it. So you're doing New Year's Eve? Are you ready? It's the whole town of Rochelle has to come out. We're doing it in Aurora. How far is Aurora?

Oh, you're in Aurora, Illinois? Yeah. Yeah, it's 40 minutes. Okay. 45 minutes. The entire hey, Rochelle, Illinois come see us in Aurora. Oh, you're in Aurora, Illinois? Yeah. Yeah, it's 40 minutes. Okay. 45 minutes. The entire, hey, Rochelle, Illinois, come see us in Aurora. Oh, the people would love to come on. Come to the early show and then go to your party later.

Yeah. Or do whatever. Or make this your New Year's night activity. Come see us. It's called the Comedy Shrine. I don't know if you know what that is. No. Never done it.

Never done it. Never done the room before. We don't know much about it. We're just going to try and do our best and have a good night there. And then we're in Denver at Comedy Works in January. Come on, Hub City. Go on. Comedy Works and the Comedy Loft in D.C. in February.

And then Hilarities in March. And then back to Moon Tower in April. April and then May we're in Seattle. In Seattle. And we'll see what happens. Chad, what about you? Yeah, what's going on, Chad? Well, I have dates as well.

Just chaddaniells.com because I don't remember them like you guys do. Because we don't have as many. That's not true. Okay. And then I just released an album a couple of weeks ago called Twelfth Night. It is called that because it was the twelfth night I had done stand up in a calendar year. Wow. Which is so bizarre for you. Yeah. Compare that to the last like 20 years of your career. Right. So I was telling you guys, I heard the hour before lockdown and I thought it was ready to record. I was going to record it. Then I took a year off.

And I just did it just to kind of break down the fourth wall and let people see, like, oh, yeah, sometimes shows suck. Yeah. And this one is, it's still fun, and it's really goofy. Sure. And I left in all the crowd work and stuff like that. It's great. Yeah. I love it.

Yeah, it was wild. And thinking of, like, Gary Goldman's special, I love that he left in there, like, the Great Depression. Like, the moments where he had shows where he was like, I just, you know, because then you see the finished product and you know what it is. But it was just fascinating and interesting. And I think people dig that. Yeah.

Well, I hope so. I love it. Well, it's- Twelfth Night. You can get it wherever you get Spotify, iTunes, whatever. And as I always tell people, use your social media for good, and at SiriusXM, request that they play more tracks of your album. Yeah, that's always a great thing.

And if you want to watch it, which I don't know why you would, but you can find it on YouTube. Nice. Wow, cool. And it's probably available at chaddeus.com and all that stuff. Yeah, you can click over. Great. I love it.

Do it up. You guys want to do a second story? Let's do it. Sent in by IntoTheBlueAgain at Again Into. Okay. Here we go. I love it. Teen gets USB cable stuck in penis in backfired attempt to measure length.

Of the USB cord? Of a ruler? I don't even know. Why would you need? So I guess your penis isn't even a USB port when you think about it. It's not. Graphic warning. Your penis is not a USB port.

That's just a straight earphone. No, it's a Thunderbolt. It's an earphone plug-in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just plug-in. What? So you just plugged it in. Okay.

You know you can measure on the outside. I just want you to know. Because, yeah, if you're trying to measure your urethra. Yeah, that's another thing. It's still going to be the same outside. Also, don't worry about measuring it. You're going to lie anyway. Right.

Right. I would just shave your balls. Right. Exactly. Or just make sure it, just know that it will feel, here's the thing about the penis size. Know that you will think that it's not enough and the person you're with will think that it's fine right and now you know what that's all that's all you need to know forever that goes for your own emotional life you will always think you are not

enough and the person will say you are plenty your stand-up show you probably walked off that show the 12th night when you recorded you're like what, what is this mess? And the audience was like, we loved it. It was enough. I think the first part of that is definitely accurate. Stop. Stop. I felt. It felt like putting a USB cord in your penis. This article starts out with some of the most

hack news talk. I'm going to read it. Wait, before you get into it, how much did this guy walk into the hospital wherever he had to get it removed and said, I accidentally. I fell. I accidentally. I fell. There's no accidental in this.

I was charging my dick. I was at 40%. Don't you think it was his sister that gave him this advice? Like, this is how I measure my vagina. Yeah, that's right. Which also makes total sense. That makes sense. She's like, I need to measure my vagina. Yeah, that's right. Which also makes total sense. That makes sense. She's like, I need to measure my vagina.

Can you hand me that brick? I have a hard and fast rule. Ready for this first one? Don't put anything in your penis. He backed up his hard drive and his penis. What? No. A UK teen had to undergo emergency surgery after a bananas attempt.

Also, that's too casual for a news article. Yeah, bananas. Guys, it was like bonkers. This is from the New York Post, though. So, of course, they're like throwing in bananas. Frickin' New York Post. I hate that. It's like a child's writing.

My seventh grader writes better. After a bananas attempt to measure his manhood, yeah, I can do it, resulted in him getting a USB cable lodged in his urethra. S stands for an USB. What? So crazy. Right? It is so crazy.

Stop. Stop what you're doing. The phallic fiasco. That's the New York Post. The phallic fiasco. The phallic fiasco, of course. Reportedly began after an unnamed teenager was, quote, triggered by sexual curiosity and inserted a USB wire into

his urethra. Isn't this sounding? What's crazy is it was a Samsung wire and his penis was Apple. It was incompatible. Of course. Per a wince-worthy study published in the Medical Journal of Urology Case Reports, the sexperiment, don't know if that's a word, backfired when the cable became lodged in the curious teen's

scrotum like an electronic catheter. Wait, it went all the way in and down to the scrotum? What? He kept going. Kept feeding it. Like a plumber snake. Kept feeding it through. Despite attempts to extract... There's a part where this gets so confusing.

Do you plug it into a computer at some point i think you put the other end in your asshole oh this is gonna get wilder than that despite attempts to extract it himself that's your first stop stop pulling it through stop at some point we've all either tried to do like some sort of like home repair or car repair when you get to a point where you realize i need to stop here so especially this one because you think it's like where the red fern grows when he uh he made the raccoon traps where he would pound the nails in yeah and then they the raccoon would stick the hand in but when they made the fist they couldn't get it back out right it sounds a lot

like this exactly okay so you know what it reminds me of in a bizarre way do you remember the show emergency that was like this weird show that do you ever see that show yes go back and watch it You know what it reminds me of in a bizarre way? Do you remember the show Emergency? That was like this weird show. Do you ever see that show? Yes. Go back and watch it. It's for both of your times. About five years before. So it was this show where it was really about paramedics and all the stuff.

And it was so real. But it was like chips. Like chips but for paramedics. And like, they like come to a sewer and you just hear a kid's voice and there'd be like a kid down in the sewer because he like tried to sneak down there. I'm down here. They're like, I gotta go through the theater. Pennywise.

So there was like one where there was like railing on a staircase and a kid's head was, he was like stuck through the rail. Like you can squeeze it in in but you can't get it back out right hotel california you can squeeze your head through any time you like but you can never get your usb port out that was really one of my favorite don henley lines they reworked it okay so despite attempts to extract it himself buddy Stop. The USB cord. This is the part where I go, how? The USB cord became tangled so terribly that both ends were left hanging out of his urethra, his penis.

So how did he get? He got one end out. I'm going to be honest. That's a magic trick. Right. So both ends are out. How are both ends out? Is his day job fixing hoodies?

Exactly. How the hell do you get that to come? Or gym shorts when you're like, I got to route this fucking thing back out of here. You pinch it together and then you pull it through. You pinch it together, you pull it through. You pinch it together, you pull it through. Both ends. At what point, too, do you go, Mom, you got to.

Way before this, you should have said. If this kid's new nickname isn't Ta-Da. Right. Exactly. His friends really missed it. I know. Okay. He should get into sailing.

Okay. James Cordick. So he's got. I'd say we'll call it a Windsor now. Both ends out. I'm going to show you guys. I don't know if it's too early or too late. I don't care. I'm going to show you guys. I don't know if it's too early or too late. I don't care.

I'm going to show you the x-ray. Oh, God. And it looks like an Ansel Adams painting of what's going on with this cord. So I do have questions about this. Wait, that's the guy's dick? That's in his dick? Yes. This is his member here here you can see that shadow also i'm a doctor right hard and i don't think well it's being supported okay he's got material in

there at least when i get it out it's going to be fully charged he's also 19 just so anybody's way we only said teenager wait a second Okay. So I do wonder at times when I put headphones into my backpack and I put them in totally normal, how they get so tangled. This is a Portlandia sketch. Yes. Right.

So that is what's going on. This mask down here. First of all, those are his balls. How long? Oh, you think that's natural? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

This knot back on the end. Guys, I promise I know that we're doing a podcast. It'll all be up. This knot back on the end is never a good thing to say about something that's stuck in your penis. Can we also agree? This cord is so long. Yeah. How long is your cord?

Thinking that's what you needed to measure this penis, which I can tell you right now is about four and a half inches. And if you're getting a little bit more, I'll give you an inch. I want to say he's got three feet of cord in there. Yeah, easily. I'm like, bro, it is not that big. And also, you would want that life. You're not that guy.

Bro, you're not that guy. Who do you think you are? You're not. I am. What if this is that guy. Who do you think you are? You're not. I am. What if this is how he folds that cord to put it in his backpack? It's a process. Goes to my penis, then I put it in the backpack. The plugged up boy's family transported him to the hospital after he began urinating blood.

I gave everybody a content warning. After initial attempts to remove the wire failed, the teen was transferred to University College Hospital London to see if they could extricate the intra-penile measuring tape. They can't. The whole USB thing is up inside of him. Per the report. You have to laparoscopically make a hole in the stomach and pull it out. You're going in from a different place to get out the way you came.

This gives new meaning to flash drive. I love that he's British, so he can say, bloody hell. Bloody hell. Mum, bloody hell. Peaky blinders. Okay, per the report,

the embarrassed boy asked to speak to the doctors without his mother present, whereupon he confessed to his frightening escapade, which means he hadn't told, he's just like, I gotta go to the hospital. Was he gonna tell his mum? Subsequent x-rays revealed that there was a veritable Gordian knot.

I don't get the reference. I'm sure other smart people do. Gordian knot. Yeah. Of USB wire inside the teenager, which required surgeons. I think Gordian knot is Sting's original name. No. Is that wrong?

It's Gordon's name. Okay. Which required surgeons. That might be my favorite argument you guys have ever had. which required surgeons... That might be my favorite argument you guys have ever had. Which required surgeons to make an incision in the region between his genitals and anus, that would be your perineum,

to yank it out. They pulled the... So it's coming out the back door? A new door. Shaving through the back door window. No, they had like... They're giving him a... Property Brothers.

A pseudotomy. Yeah, they put in a doggy door. Yes. All USB cords go through this flap. They pulled the spooled end through the hole that they had created first, cutting it free from the rest of the wire before removing the remaining bits, literally pulling the plug. Thankfully, and the only reason we can do this.

There's no thankfully in this. The boy recovered without incident and was discharged from the hospital the following day. Fully discharged. Fully discharged.

And fully charged. This is a happy ending. However, he did have to undergo a follow-up scan two weeks later and will require monitoring in the future.

He should thank his lucky stars. Inserting foreign objects in one's private parts can lead to a host of complications. Urinary tract infections, urethral injuries, obviously. A London doctor said, it's unclear why someone would engage in this type of invasive member measuring method. But experts have blamed sounding. That's right.

It's a strange proclivity. People stick rods and stuff in there. And then you... Defined by... What? Yeah, you didn't know that's a thing? Noclivity rods and stuff and then you yeah so defined by what yeah you didn't know that's a thing that's a thing i live in the woods it's more done with metal rods that would be a stick in the woods yeah almost like a gauging system so you start and then work your way out it's that's how we find fucking wells where i live yeah that's why it's called you will strike oil eventually into your i don't mean to be a dick, but no.

There you go. I am starting to think that he folded the cord. Yeah. And went in that way. Because I can't imagine one of the ends coming out but not. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way. So he must have folded it in the middle.

Right. Like folded it in half. And you know what I think too? And then pulled it. Maybe this was obvious to everyone else. Buddy, I know you thought in some way this was saving face. You were never measuring. No, no, no.

You just wanted to get it in there. You just wanted to get it in. I mean, here's another phrase you don't want to say when looking at an x-ray of your teenage son who had stuck a USB cord up his penis. Which we've all looked at. You don't want to say, oh, there's the dongle. Right, yeah, exactly.

Right. Oh, there's our, you know, whatever it is. I don't know why my phone's dead. Right. Yeah, exactly. Right. Oh, there's our, you know, whatever it is. I don't know why my phone's dead. Okay. Yes, sounding. People do this. Last month, a Randy, Michigan man, which we talked about, was left struggling to pee after he got six kidney beans lodged in his urethra.

We did this story on the show. During a bizarre attempt at sexual gratification. That is story number two. Wow. Daniel, that is crazy. And you know what? Today has been outrageous. I am very sex positive.

I think people, when they're not hurting themselves or hurting others, enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. That always has a safe word. Go for it. Have fun. But this was just, much like our first story, ill-advised. Not the way to go about it.

And in both ways, check the gate. Check both ends and see if you're okay. See if you're okay. That's story number two. There you go. Can you give us a little teaser? Oh, I got sent a fun story. Nobody gets hurt.

It's just somebody's dumb. I love it. It'll be a fun, quick story. For some listeners, it will be the first story they listen to today. And for our Patreon fans, we're going to talk to Chad Daniels about something stupid that he's done. And that's what I love about it. Oh, I have a question. Yeah, a question for him.

He might consider it stupid. I don't even know. We'll get into it on the other side of this break. This is Dumb People Town with Chad Daniels. Stick around. Make us down for more Dumb People Town. All right, Daniel, take us home. Okay, ready?

This was sent in by Brian W. Lance at Blant79. Brian sends in a lot, and I love it. Thanks, buddy. Got sent this a lot. It also was brought to my attention by our own Lisa Rubin. I can't believe I just said one of my closest friends.

She's called Lisa Rubin. I was reading the next word and saying Lisa Rubin. Okay can't believe I just said one of my closest friends. You just called her Lisa Rubin. I was reading the next word and saying Lisa Rubin. Okay, here we go. Missing man joined search party for himself. By the way, if the next word was missing and you still called her Lisa, it should have been Lisa man. Missing man. Come on.

Missing man joined search party in search of himself? Yes. This already sounds like the middle of a music video from the 90s. Where the lead singer just walks out from behind the tree and joins the group. What are we looking for, guys? If I had to guess, like 2012, 2013, we did a story where a woman did this same thing. She joined the search party. Yeah, she joined her own search party.

We did. I remember it. I was watching Anchorman with my son on the plane. It's his first time watching it. You want a good plane watch. The moment where they're squaring off with the other news team, with Vince Vaughn's news team, and they make a joke, and suddenly Steve Carell is standing with them laughing

was such an unexpected, hilarious moment that he's in on their joke against him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To me, that reminds me of this thing. Like, he's like, guys laughing at a joke

of a group of people who are searching for him and they're like, what are you doing, Rick? What are you doing? You're right here. All right. A Turkish man

reportedly missing in a forest ended up joining the search operation for himself according to a mind-bending new report. I don't think it's that long up joining the search operation for himself, according to a mind-bending new report. I don't think it's that long. What are we looking for here, guys? By the way, do you know we've been to Turkey before?

No. What'd you steal there? Nothing. So we are, didn't you know, we went on a bus ride. This was so crazy in Turkey. So like we took an overnight bus to get from- Wasn't Turkey where Matt Walsh took an overnight bus

and slept underneath it? Slept underneath the bus. In the luggage. Slept in the luggage thing and then they drove somewhere. We may have mentioned this on that episode. No, I don't remember. Bring it back up. So we ride-

Years ago. We're with our friend Dave Mose, who's a wonderful dude back in LA now. Did you get him in trouble and he got sent home? No, but not quite. You and Dave are staying. So we were taking a 12-hour bus ride from Istanbul to this place called Cappadocia in the center of the country.

It looked like a moonscape. It was very cool. And as we're going there, we're riding an overnight bus. And there's like a flight attendant on the bus. Bus attendant. Bus attendant going up and down the aisle with drinks and other stuff. First of all, as soon as you get on the bus, all the windows go up and 60% of the people start smoking. Awesome.

In a closed bus. And then because you want to go to sleep, they start playing a loud movie on these things. Of course. That everyone has to listen to that's on TVs. Like an episode of Quincy. Because it's like 1993, but it's in Turkish and it's so loud. It's really hard to sleep, but eventually you're driving

overnight and you're asleep. It's one of these things where you pull the bus at three in the morning pulls into this what seems like an abandoned thing. Everything's boarded up. As soon as the bus comes in, the garage doors come up, all the lights come on, and it's making a

huge shawarma. It's like a gas station thing that's alive right just there for the bus it's like an animatronic band like all of a sudden yeah they come up so in the middle so as we're waking up in the flight like as in the morning the flight the bus the bus the bus ride as we're waking up as we're getting about an hour out of our location the flight attendant bus attendant sure is coming down the aisle with this like bottle bottles of stuff and handing them to people handing this bottle to people and our friend dave was asleep and we woke him up and there's a bottle we don't know what they're handing out he opens the bottle and takes a drink and then starts spitting and and gagging around it was cologne cologne they were giving cologne to people.

You know the way a bus attendant, something you've never seen before in your entire life, just walks up and down the aisle and gives you cologne. So you could smell like this hideous cologne. Well, after seven hours in a smoky bus. You want to smell like something else. You want to smell like something else. It was the most insane.

So anything in a Turkish, like a guy missing in a Turkish, I'm like, this all makes sense. I buy it. Did you like the cologne? No. It was hideous. It was awful. But I love Turkey.

One thing we did when we got to this little town of Cappadocia is we rented a car. There were seven of us. We rented a blue convertible, and we drove around this moonscape. There were six of us. There were six of us, and we drove around this moonscape in this convertible and we drove around this like moon six of us or six of us we drove around this moonscape

in this like convertible old old like 60s convertible it was so cool journey it was really really amazing i can't we were 20 years old we did that all right well baehan mutlu who lives in the north like mutlu is like the name you say to a guy, and you say it to him. Don't be a Mutlu? Admonishingly. Mutlu. Behan Mutlu. That probably applied here. Who lives in northwestern Bursa province, was believed to be missing Tuesday after he

wandered away drunk in the forest from his group of friends, which is him. I imagine being mad at his friends. Anybody see Mutlu? Right. Mutlu. You guys are mean to me. I'm going to go find the motion-censored gas station. I'll be back.

Don't go into the woods. Not there, Mutlu. He'll be fine. With search efforts underway, Mutlu ended up joining a group of volunteers who were helping authorities look for him. What are we looking for? He's in the woods. There's all these people.

What are you guys doing? We're looking for somebody. All right. All right. I'll come along. Get me out. My friends say I can't do nothing. I hate my friends. And he's these people. What are you guys doing? We're looking for somebody. All right. All right. I'll come along. My friends say I can't do nothing. I hate my friends.

And he's like still mad. He always answers every question with a question so they never know that that's it. Right. Who are you looking for? What's your name? What's your name? They never get around. What's your name?

They never get around to it. What time is it? You think we'll find him? I don't know. Bunch of drunk people in the woods. Motlow. Bolo. Mutlu.

What's his first name? What's his first name? Behan. Behan. Mutlu. Behan. Mutlu. Behan.

You guys aren't far off. When the volunteers began shouting his name, Mutlu became confused and asked whom they were trying to locate. Who are you guys fucking? You guys are calling my name. I got a question for you guys. Who said my name? Who said Mutt Lou?

Mutt Lou, Mutt me. Which is really it. Then he yelled out, I am here. I'm here. I'm here. Once police learned the man joined his own search party, they gave him a ride home. I will now ask you guys. How old is Bayhan Mutlu?

How old do you think the man who went out with his friends on a Tuesday night. Got drunk near a forest. Whether he got mad at them or wanted to prove he could do something all by himself. Or just went to go pee and then just kept going. He just wandered into the forest. Sure. Helped. Tried to help find himself.

He mutlued himself. And then, yeah. help find himself. He mutt-lood himself. Yeah, and then did. Chad, where do you want to go? Do you want to go first? It's a Turkish goodbye. It's called a mutt-loo. Yeah. But you have to come back again. No, goodbye is goodbye forever. Mutt-loo is I'll see you soon at my own

search party. Right. 63. Jason Sklar. This is, listen, church party. Right. Would you say 63? 63. Jason Sklar? 63. This is, listen, that is me. Which means he would enjoy the activity, right? Yes, exactly. It sounds like a 63-year-old man just retired, and he's like, I'm so sick of this shit.

Also, he wouldn't care because he's 63 when he's like, what are we doing? And no one answers him. All right, whatever. I guess we're just like, he's just along for the ride. I got nothing else to do. Jay? I'm going to say 36. 36 years old.

I think he's 48. 48 years old? Okay. All right. We'll leave it here. Wonderful to have you here today, sir. Chad Daniels. It's great to be back.

Thanks for having me. 12th night, everybody. Check it out. Listen to it wherever. Listen to it and love it. Okay. And I need you to kill. Watch that. Okay. And I need you to kill. Watch that.

Yeah. Bayhan Mutlu is 50 years old. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right. Literally. I was like that old dude. Nice.

You're going to get lost. Be a part of finding yourself again. And by the way, and that is the best advice we can give. Be a part of your own search party. That's a lot of advice today. Can I say something to all three of you? Yes. Mutlu.

Mutlu to you. We'll see you again. Ain't no party like a search party. There you go. Chad Daniels is our guest. And oh shit, we've got to get back to work. Boom. Boom.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

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