Dumb People Town - Chad Daniels - The No-Dad Challenge

Episode Date: October 16, 2018

This week, comedian Chad Daniels makes his way to Dumb People Town!In Story 1, a group of joyriding teens rob a pot dispensary... but steal the wrong herb.  Story 2 brings us a spicy ramen challenge that sends a woman to the hospital. In Story 3 is the tale of a long overdue debt finally being settled.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Armand Dan Man, dirt, don't be a jerk Cause when the music gets the funny So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk, cause when the music hits the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, talk your downies, Dumb People Town. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you?

Population Daniels. Chad Daniels that is. Hi everyone. Welcome sir. I'm so happy you are here, Daniels. Chad Daniels, that is. Hi, everyone. Welcome, sir. I'm so happy you are here. I'm happy, too. It is a joy. We were in your state of, you live in upstate Minnesota, is that correct? I do.

I've never heard it called that before. That's interesting. Upstate Minnesota? Yeah. Oh, we're up in Brainerd. Oh, yeah. Up north. Up north.

South Canada. Yeah, that's right. That's basically right. Just South Canada. We look down on Bemidji in many ways. Not just literally. We look down on it. On Bemidji.

My family used to go fishing in Bemidji. Of course. That's where everyone went to hockey camp. That's right. In Bemidji, right? Absolutely. But you are, just so people know, you are one of the best comedians out there doing it today. Easily.

By far. And you said that. You told us that, which I am just going to take your words. I'm just reading what you asked me to read. We're reading what you brought in. That would be great. The host is like, how do you want me to bring you up? He said greatest white comedian ever.

I don't know why you had to establish that. From the Great White North. So, no, Colleen McGarr, who books the Moon Tower Comedy Festival, good friend. She was like, have you seen Chad Daniels? This is before we met you. And I had heard your stuff on Sirius, but we hadn't hung out. So she's like, he is a fucking killer. Like, he just slays.

And we were on the show with you at the Speakeasy. At Anton's. At Anton's, or Speakeasy, or whatever. And you were fantastic and you delivered. That's a lot of praise to come in at that level, and you delivered. Well, that's nice. And I love that you also come with a perspective that is not a coastal perspective, a New York or an L.A. perspective, which I think is very important and fresh and perfect for this podcast. We're good.

The dumb springs up. She springs up anywhere. The dumb ghost can show up anywhere we go. It flows freely where I live. I'm sure it does. So we do believe the world's getting dumber. Our dumb boots on the ground. They actually are smart people, but they're

dumb boots on the dumb ground. Our D-bogs, as Brendan, our sound man, says. The D-bogs, as Brendan, our sound man, says. The D-bogs. They have sent us these stories. Dan, do you have one? I do.

Let's do it. Here we go. This was sent in by Ricky at Messy and Stressy. Messy and Stressy. All right. K-K-I. Right? You feel a little messy and stressy.

What was that rat movie with Ricky? The Secret of Nymph. Ricky Ticketavi? Ricky Ticketavi. Yeah. That's The Secret of Nymph, right? I think it's Nym, but you pronounce the P-H. It's the rats of nym.

It's the rats of nym. I don't remember all this. Mrs. Frisbee. Brisbee. Brisbee? Is that a Dickens novel? That's Aversham, right? Lisbee?

Chisbee. Chisbee. Chisbee. Welcome back to Pronunciations. Mrs. Chisbee. Your host, Daniel Van Kirk. A podcast just about words. Mrs. Chisbee.

Stay with us. Mrs. Shit, stay with us. Mrs. Shisby will be on your show. A few people heard that I pronounced a word wrong while making a joke about pronunciations and it wasn't even on purpose.

Ah, damn. Here we go. Colorado Springs, Colorado. God's country. It really is. Just ask them. When they have a book festival,

it is just the Bible. That is the only Bible available at that book festival. But various different kinds of the King James Version. Everything from the King James to the Gideon Version. A group of teens smashed a van through the storefront of a Colorado Springs pot dispensary and stole a number of items on display inside. Did they get away?

Yeah. Okay, so. They drove, this was their plan. Drive a van through the front of a store. And don't, part of me. Who's ballsy? That's ballsy. Yeah.

Part of me says don't have an all glass front of your pot dispensary. Mom, dad, can I borrow the van? What are you going to use it for? I want to hang out with my friends. I just love that one of these kids went in through. Up to? In front of? Pull up in front of?

Can I make one change to the plan? Right here where it says in front of? Well, Jeff said he's just going to go in and take stuff. Why can't we all go in? We're all going to pull into, no. We're going in. We're all going to pull into the place. Let me pull in. We're not getting out of the van.

Roll the windows down. Whatever you can reach. So the person driving is like, guys, I'm not good at parking yet. Can we just drive through it? Just do it. What if it was a parallel parking accident? We're just trying to get in this place. Go right, go right, go right.

Jesus God, Dave. Start grabbing stuff. But the owners of Native Roots are the ones who got the last laugh. Native Roots. I smashed that store just for the name. On name alone. Just for the name. Smashed the shit out of it.

And I feel like we're getting the last laugh. Right, guys? Hey, right? Thank you. That's the other thing I was wondering. People always say that. Like, who? In what crime are people like, guys, we're going to commit this crime and we're going to get the last laugh on this.

No, Native Roots got the last laugh. I know, but then why would they be laughing? I don't know. I guess we're going to find out. We are going to find out. The owner told 11 News that they don't put real marijuana in the items in the display case. That is the last laugh. They did get the last laugh.

That to me, okay, I've always wanted to do this. You've been to house parties, there's a keg. For when we were younger. I know of one of these parties. I would have loved to go duels a keg and just see if people start acting drunk. Have you done it? Yeah. Have you been in a party?

Somebody did it in Chicago. I was not at the party. A keg, oh my God, would be the best thing ever. And people were just like, ah! Remember that Adam Sandler skit from either What the Hell Happened to Me or They're All Gonna Laugh At You? He was like, hey, man, I'm so high. They're like, oh, you're high right now?

I'm so high, man. Really? Yeah, man. That's just parsley or whatever. And he was like, oh, I'm drunk. Oh, you're really drunk? I'm so drunk, man. Just doodles. That's what they said.

He's like, oh, all right, I'm on acid. He's like, we just gave you a piece of paper. Then he's like, all right, I got to go away for a minute. Then he walks away. They're like, what did you do? He's like, I shot myself. There were no bullets. It's such a good sketch. Simple. But yeah, that's what happened at the parties. People were like, there were no bullets. It's such a good sketch.

But yeah, that's what happened at the parties. People were like, ah! That's my drunk college kid voice. So that's how dumb these guys are. They made... Or how smart Native Roots is. Can we give Native Roots a little bit of credit? Now you're back on the Native Roots.

You wanted to back their store on name alone. Now you're commending. Don't ever put the good stuff out in the display case. If you drive through the front window, is it a breaking and entering or is it just breaking? And destruction of property and criminal mischief. It's a breaking while entering. It's a not breaking while entering.

It's a brentering? Yes. Yeah, you'd have to not break, I guess. With this fake pot, those kids weren't laughing. They weren't. So they did get the last laugh. I love that part. If weren't. So they did get the last laugh. I love that part. If you drive through and don't get out of your car, have you entered or you just broke? You just broke. That's what I said.

You just broke it. You didn't really enter if you're just reaching through the window. Well, you did enter the store and cross the threshold. What if they charged them with not braking and entering because they never used their brakes? Right. How about that? Not braking. Not braking and then entering by not braking and entering because they never use their brakes. Right. How about that? Not braking. Not braking and then entering.

By not braking, entering. There's also a DMV teacher there being like, I'll mark off for that. The headline to this is, Thieves hit pot shop but only get away with oregano. That's what they put in there. Though the teens didn't get away with what they thought, they still left a mess.

So maybe they got the last laugh. Oh, yeah. For employees at the Academy Boulevard in Austin Bluffs Parkway Shop to clean up. By the way, add that to the DPT walking tour. Quote, the van went all the way through the front foyer of the business and inside, said Sergeant L.C. Morgan. L.C. Morgan is my favorite Pittsburgh Steeler from the 70s. Initials? Yes.

L.C. Not E-L-S-I-E. I thought it was like my great-grandmother. L.C. Woods. You know, the cat. Or, you know, like there's like... Old L.C. Yeah.

She's not giving milk. Yeah, but there's certain names where like like, older guys have what are now predominantly feminine names. Yeah. Like, there's some guys named Connie. Rosie Greer. Because they're constant. Rosie Greer.

Yeah. Rosie Greer, Connie Hawkins. So it would be kind of cool if he was Elsie. Lucille Jensen. Yes. Lucille Jensen. I might have made that up. No, I think you made that up.

Deborah Browning. Wait, there's not a Deborah Browning. He's awesome. Barb McGillicuddy. Elsie Morgan. I might have made that up. No, I think you made that up. Deborah Browning? Wait, there's not a Deborah Browning. He's awesome. Barb McGillicuddy? Elsie Morgan. Diane Wayne Gacy? I mean... He's a sergeant.

Yeah? With the Colorado Springs Police Department. The smash and grab happened just after 1 a.m. Is that what he called it? A smash and grab? Yeah, that's what they wrote here. Happened just after 1 a.m. in front of several witnesses. What's going down on the street at 1 a.m.?

Pot shop. People have just bought pot. They're like, it's closed. Nothing weird happens. Just vape it out. Look at this van. Oh, shit! They're teenagers.

They probably told their friends. They're like, here's what we're going to do. We have a great spaghetti sauce recipe. We need some oregano. And I what we're going to do. We have a great spaghetti sauce recipe. We need some oregano. And I know we're going to smash and grab. It's your typical Colorado Springs smash and grab. Quote, I was coming out of work and

all of a sudden we heard this big old crash. Says, get ready for this one, Brent Rathbone. W-R-A-T-H-B-O-N-E. That name. I've never heard a blacker name Brent Rathbone Brent Rathbone

He sounds like Bonebreaker who was a cop Bonebreak Bonebreaker is a comic book Yeah, that's a game you play Rathbone Yo, Rathbone, grab your skis, man Let's go, dude Rathbone, what'sbone. Yo, Rathbone, grab your skis, man. Let's go, dude.

We're going. Rathbone, what's up, man? We said 11. I was coming out of work, and all of a sudden, we, so I don't know who he's with, heard this. Unless he's like one of those guys that always, well, we heard this. Who is here? Just me. The royal we.

Yeah, to himself. I'm going to address it. Trent, I don't know. Trent Rathbone. Chester. Chester's stress. There we go. Chester's stress.. Trent Rathbone. Chester. Chester's stress. There we go. Chester's stress and Brent Rathbone. I was going out from work and all of a sudden we heard.

There's Chet and Brent just taking off lunch again. We heard this big old crash. The suspects came out with bunches of marijuana in their arms. Well, it wasn't Brent Rathbone. It really wasn't marijuana. Rathbone called police. He said, suspects, I love this, Brent Rathbone said the suspects showed their

gratitude with him calling the cops by throwing a beer bottle at his head. These teens don't give a shit. Isn't that Rathbone to just go the opposite direction? Well, they showed their gratitude. Oh, they actually showed their gratitude by throwing a beer bottle. Rathbone!

Come on, Brent. Come on, man. We got rafted again. Don't you guys think we could create a Dungeons and Dragons style game of Dumb People Town? Yes. Where you create a character and then someone, like, it would have to be me because I've read all these, like, guides you through trying to survive through Dumb People Town. Like a Rathbone. Like a Rathbone is, like, worth 12. Right. You are mad at your stepdad. like guides you through trying to survive through dumb people town like a wrath bone like a wrath bone is like worth 12 right you you are mad at your stepdad on the ground is a burrito a broken pocket knife like you have to say what you're gonna pick up to fight your stepdad with oh wait

here comes officer high school diploma is it too obvious that we call it Dumjins and Dragons? Duh. At Sklar Brothers. Why did I do that to me? Dan came up with it. Dumjins and Dragons. We need to come up with Dumjins and Dragons. Right? That's the only thing for it. Okay.

Or Dumjins and Rathbones. Quote, this is what Rathbones said. Quote, I just decided to call the cops and we decided to get their plate number and everything. And then I get a beer bottle thrown at me? Is that rhetorical? Yes. I just decided to call the cops, and we decided to get their plate number and everything, and then I get a beer bottle thrown at me? Is that rhetorical? Yes, that's how it works. Why are you surprised? By the way, the people that you are trying to ring up, they're going to be mad about that.

By the way, these people drove into a store. You're lucky they didn't try and run you down, Rathbone. And then get this. I'm ratting on them, and then of all things, they get mad at me. I know. You know what? They were drinking and driving. I don't care for that.

Rathbone has a problem with that. I was shocked, to be honest with you. The van. You should bring them up for that, too. The van, which police have since determined was stolen. These teens. They stole a van? Yes.

Wow. They didn't want it traced. I get it. It was left behind by the suspects parked and still running, sitting well inside the store. That is a lot of smoke coming out of the back of it. Wrath bone. And he just keeps inserting himself.

Yeah. Can I talk to you again for a second, officer? We're good, man. We're good. We got everything we need. I just remembered another thing, though. No. No. We're good. We got everything we need. We got everything we need. I just remembered another thing, though. No? No. We got it. We got it.

An article's already written and posted, sir. But I didn't tell you this one last thing. No, I know you want to, but we're going to go ahead and just... Jeff, just take a statement. I kind of want to hear it. What's the other thing? He keeps saying his name first. They left it parked and running. Oh. Yeah, we see that, Raph.

It's still here. Oh, you guys got that. Yeah, we got it. Okay. that, Rathbone. We got it. It's still here. Oh, you guys got that. Yeah, we got it. Yeah, okay. Well, let me know if you need anything. Here's my number. We're good. Nope, we will not need that.

Rathbone's also the type of guy who's like, for what it's worth, really thought about being a cop. I mean, I could have passed the test, but then my mom got sick. When he's in line for a funnel cake and the guy behind him is wearing a veteran of foreign war hat, he's like, really thought about joining up. guy behind him is wearing a veteran of forward war hat, he's like, really thought about joining up. Proud of what you did. I thought about it a lot.

I thought about it a lot, yeah. We should hang out sometime. I'm super fun. I work at a bar that closes at 1. Like the cops get so mad at him inserting himself that they pick up the bottle and throw it. Whoa, here I am just trying to ruin your work. I am trying to give information and the cops throw a bottle at me. Yeah, but he admits everything he does that pisses people off.

Here I am just trying to tell them how to do their job and these guys all of a sudden they're mad at me? Rathbone and other witnesses told police they saw the group leave in a separate getaway car waiting on the other side of the dispensary. This is some high-level thinking. They're like heat. By the way, for their parents who are like, we've never seen these kids ever finish a project for school, this is some follow-through. Right. Can we at least just be like nice follow-through? Officers believe there were two people in the van when it crashed into the store and two others in the getaway vehicle.

Native Roots is not the only place police believe the group hit overnight. What? What vans did they steal? Located just up the road and burglarized around the same time was the liquor store named Three Thirsty Goats. No. Yes. Well, I can tell you it was around the same time, but

before. Oh, Rathbone. Where else would they get that bottle, guys? Great call. He's a great point. We got it. It's definitely going to be documented. Duly noted. There's one more thing. I just

wanted to know if you guys want to talk. No. We got to finish. you guys want to talk. No. We got to finish. We did talk to you. But they were done. Oh, man. Okay. Officers, this is how premeditated. He's like, just one more thing, if I could get a ride home.

No. Well, you have a car here. I know. I just always wanted a ride. Mine doesn't have lights. Okay. Well, you keep talking to us. You might get that ride.

Officers tell, this is how premeditated these teens were. Officers tell 11 News, they think some of the suspects broke into that liquor store to cause a distraction while their accomplices drove into the dispensary. So maybe it literally

was happening at the exact same time. They were synchronizing watches. Swatch watches. You guys steal from the liquor store. We're going to hit up. These guys just want to have a party and they're criminals. This is my problem. This is why I'm happy I'm raising kids in Los Angeles is I think there's just too much

free time to plan capers like this for teens in Colorado Springs. What else are you going to do? You have kids? You have kids? Yeah. How old are your kids?

My son's 19. My daughter's 14. Okay. Oh, my Lord. So if your kids tried to put, like, where you live, it's a small town. Yep. There's not much to do. Are you ever worried, like, they're going to get into something because there isn't enough to do?

Well, get into meth? Yes. I'm worried about that. But, well, it used to be. So I guess they'd get in huge trouble now. But I remember when I was in college, there was a party going on. And we went to this place called Stop and Go. It was a gas station. You went to Rochelle.

All right. And then there was a Budweiser truck and a Little Debbie's truck. And we took them. Pull up the back. We took them both. The trucks? Took the trucks. Oh, God.

Dude. Drove them up to the party. Pulled up to the party. We were like, we got the beer. We got the snacks. Oh, my God. And then immediately, you know, everybody was like, what in the fuck? And then we ended up taking them back and got in some decent trouble.

What was the trouble? What was it? Jail time or no? No, no jail time, but we, a lot of probation and then had to pay fines and stuff. But when we brought them back, they checked everything and everything was still there. So thank goodness. But we thought it'd be hilarious just to be like, hey guys, we went to the store and we got these trucks. By the way, that is hilarious.

It's a good joke. It's a great joke. You were making jokes even back in college. The guy's house is like, yeah, dude, I'm trying to keep this party low-key right now. There's only two people here that are 21. We're in college. No one has called the cops yet.

You're outside. You're air breaking in front of the party. And the two people that were 21 had to take three years of community college because that's what it was. Perfect. You know what? They're better for it. That's a four-year university party prank. They're better

for it. Thank you for getting me to get my education. The teens caused thousands of dollars in damage. 11 News has previously reported on a string of similar crimes involving Spring Teens. These are the break-in bandits.

Stealing vehicles. I love Springsteens. Then driving them. Springsteens. Springsteens. Springsteens. I'm driving in my van. Anyway.

They reported on a string of similar crimes involving Springsteens stealing vehicles, then driving them into businesses. This is happening on the reg in CS. Wait, wait. So this is like an epidemic. This is like eating Tide Pods in other cities. Now this is driving vans. Steal a car, drive it into the place.

Did you have to have the Tide Pod talk with your kids? Oh, no. They're smart. They're very smart kids. You're like, yeah, don't do that. 19-year-old in college? Yes. He's in college right now.

Yeah. Away from you or nearby? Two hours away. Okay. That's good. That's enough. I like that split. My kids are five years apart. I have a from you or nearby? Two hours away. Okay. That's good. That's enough. I like that split. My kids are five years apart.

I have a 10 and a five, so I'm just like behind you by 10 years. Yeah. My sister and I were five years apart, and it worked well because we weren't in any school at the same time. Right. Yeah. Right. And there isn't like a competition and also like once the older one leaves, you still

have someone in your house. Yeah. That is kind of- You're like, we still got one. I do like that I have a straggler. Yeah, you still got one. What's up? You're like, are we hanging out? To your 14-year-old?

What's up? I guess we're just hanging out? She's like, no, no. We'll get out of here on this. While not stating if Wednesday morning shenanigans were related, Morgan acknowledged the resemblance. Probably begrudgingly. Wait, wait.

They're not doing a connection of this. He's like, eh, they seem the same. Like, you mean they're not doing a connection of this. He's like, they seem the same. Like, you mean exactly the same? Now, is this the police? I'm going to turn this over to Officer Rathbone. Newly appointed. Newly appointed. He'll talk to you guys as much as you want.

Deputy of the people. Well, here's my thing. Like, Rathbone definitely has theories about how this is all related. He's got at home, he's got a huge map with all the strings. Beautiful mind. Yeah, beautiful mind. Beautiful mind garage. But, I mean, do you think this is police speak for trying to keep it quiet?

Like that they believe that this is... They don't want to show their cards? I don't know. This is a quote from Elsie. There does appear to be a pattern with regards to similar crimes like this, not only with dispensaries, but with other businesses as well, which means they're just hitting up whatever they want. So if you have a storefront business in Colorado Springs, you have to lay in your bed

at night and be worried that someone's going to drive a truck to it. That's the thing. That's story one, guys. What you should do is have the Braveheart sticks pointed out so when you drive in, you're done. Finished. I think Rathbone was part of this, and I think he was there to throw off the cops. Right.

You think Rathbone questioning the cops allowed those kids to get away? I think he called the cops to make them trust him, and then he gave them a bunch of fake information. Right, and then just got them away? It would work. It would work. God damn you, Rathbone. But all he got was oregano anyway, which is Rathbone. They're going to start putting, I think, like on sidewalks in front of like storefronts.

No, they're going to put the like two or three poles. Like cement posts in front of the thing. That's story number one, guys. There you go. Down in the bugs. Yes. Chad Daniels is with us. This is Dumb People Town.

We have more great stuff, so stay with us. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. We have more great stuff, so stay with us. Stick around. Make us down. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. Our guest is Chad Daniels. He's got four,

count them, four killer comedy albums that are streamable. You can get them on iTunes, Amazon, Spotify, wherever you get your music and your comedy albums. You get them get his

your latest one was Footprints on the Moon Footprints on the Moon which I believe at some point that year was the number one comedy album in the world

in the universe I think it was in the universe I think it was it was number one for a while wasn't it yeah it was the number one

streamed album in 2017 look at that that is ridiculous get on that it is that way for a reason so definitely check him out Yeah, it was the number one streamed album in 2017. Look at that. That is ridiculous. Get on that. It is that way for a reason. So definitely check him out. And if he comes to see you live, chaddanoels.com.

If he comes to your town to do stand-up, go see him. Check him out. Now, this drops tomorrow, just in terms of timing. And you're in L.A. right now. But what is your next? Are you away this weekend? You're at the Improv, I think. I'm going to be at the Improv in Irvine.

Very big, very big club. The 17th. And then 18th through 20, going to be at the Improv in Irvine Wednesday, the 17th, and then 18th through 20 I'll be at the Improv in Tempe. Oh, in Tempe, Arizona. Fantastic. We're going to be there in two weeks. We'll be there right after you at the Tempe Improv. I'm going to leave something for you. Just a little. In the green room. Yeah, and then you're going to have to find it.

You're going to poop in the green room? We have clues. I love that. Well, check him out when you get a chance to see him. Before we get into the next story that we have, we have some Drip members that we wanted to call out and say thank you for participating in The Drip. And if you haven't joined The Drip, we know there are thousands of you that could be joining right now.

It is such a great way to get extra content. Yeah. And support this show in a very special way. And we're deliberate about these. We're reading in the order of the people who signed up. So you got in early. You've probably already heard your name or you're going to hear it soon. And I don't like when podcasts do like, here's 45

names or here's 60 names because they just rattle them off. We don't want to take enough time to actually say thank you to each of you guys. And also, you know, if sometimes in podcasts you hear 45 names, you're like, how can I skip through this? Don't skip through this because these people are part of our town, and we want to thank them personally. I don't want to skip over Andrea Lewis.

Neither do I. You don't want to skip over Andrea Lewis? No, I don't. I like to take my time. I like to get nice and wide when I read Chris. The other fun thing is us deciding how to say a name. That's what I was going to say. I get wide.

It's us deciding how to say a name. I was saying Widener. I get wide. See, I was too. I'm on the J, and J wins so many of the guesses that I'm going to go with Widener. Widener sounds like a pear cider. I might just walk out of here on this next one on Kelsey Walker. There you go.

Do I walk out of here on Kelsey Walker? Kelsey Walker, Texas Ranger. I will never at Sklar Brothers, you guys doing this to any of these names. Lisa Van Ameren. These are soft ones. She's got to be from Wisconsin. Lisa Van Ameren sounds like a special fan that you turn on that doesn't have blades,

but it rotates. Does Lisa Van Ameren oscillate back and forth? Van Ameren is also the nicest ottoman you can buy. David J. Bascom. Esquire. If he doesn't go by DJB, DJ.

I cannot wait. DJ Basco. If this next name is not from, this is the founding family of Wisconsin. Alicia Brosterhouse. Alicia Brosterhouse. Have you had the Brats at Brosterhouse? They're unbelievable. You guys got to try it. It's great.

Brosterhouse is like when you're like, you went to a different fish fry place than you normally go to. You keep telling everybody else they should try it out. Guys, you got to go to Broster House. First of all, they give you a beer while you're waiting. What? Right. They give you that little thing.

They give you a beeper and a beer at Broster House. Marshall O'Connor. Marshall O'Connor. Sandra Day O'Connor of this list. Seth Krinsky. Krinsky. Krinsky. Okay.

Go for it. Gemma LaJoy. LaJoy. What if it's Gemma LaJoy. LaJoy. What if it's Gemma LaJoy? LaJoy. I'm wrong, but... I think it's Gemma LaJoy. If it is, if we're getting that wrong, dear, I'm so sorry.

It could also be LaJoy. LaJoy. I don't know. John, and then, of course, this one might be really hard. John Daniel. If he has one more name, he's a serial killer. John Daniel. Thank you to... John Daniel Gacy.

John Daniel Gacy. Hey, thank you to everybody who did this and we really appreciate you. Join the Drip. You guys would love it. It is not a big deal, and yet it is a big deal because it gives you all kinds of extra stuff and really supports the show. I think we're pushing up around

$500. I want to get to $5,000. I do too, and I think we can do that. Alright, let's jump back in. Yep, this was sent in by David J. Bascom at MrDavidJ, who I think we recently, or no, yeah, right? In this. Yes. You're going to hear that.

DJ Bascom. DJ Bascom does sound like a guy who's like a country guy who all the people in the rap world just trust. I know he shows up in overalls. He looks racist, but he's all right. He's incredible. DJ Bascom.

Who do you guys want to sample for this? Well, DJ. Should we get a DJ Bascom? Let's get a Bascom. Let's drop a Bascom beat on this shit. He has those fresh beats. Yeah. A woman who tried a spicy food challenge.

This is also a little gross. This everybody knows. I've told you. A woman who tried a spicy food challenge and ended up Shit through her eyeballs. with a stay in the hospital

and bleeding from the bum has vowed to never do it again. Oh, I'm sorry. Has vowed to definitely do it again. Did she say definitely do it again? She's like, if I had a chance, I would do this again as blood is trickling out of her asshole. She took a spicy food challenge.

It ruined her to the point where she had to go to the hospital and she's like, I'm going to do this again. Once my anal fissures heal, I'll go ahead and pump up the volume again. Re-rack them. Let's go. Hey, man. Blood clots. Friendships don't. Shannon? S-H-A-N-N-E-N. Shannon-rack them. Let's go. Hey, man. Blood clots. Friendships don't. Shannon?

S-H-A-N-N-E-N. Shannon. Shannon. Shannon. No, thank you. Golding. You just said no, thank you. Was rushed to the hospital, pooing blood a day after chomping down on the infamous Sam

Yang hot chicken flavor cup ramen as part of a viral spicy ramen challenge. Okay. So she's not even like at a wings contest. I thought she had friends. I thought this was like, hey, well, I thought there was a crowd. No, there was a crowd of people at a bar going like, let's go eat, eat, eat, have this ghost pepper. And you're like, I understand the peer pressure

but the internet made her do this? That's something too. Spicy ramen challenge, If you're going to eat something and put your body on the line for it, at least get a free shirt.

At least get a free shirt. Do you eat spicy food? Are you a spicy food? I like spicy food. I love spicy food. What's the, can you go like, can you dial it all the way up?

What's the spiciest you can go? Can you do? If someone said here to eat this ghost pepper, would you try it? No, no, no. You could do it. Could you do that? Absolutely not. No.

But if they're like that Thai food and they're like, it's spicy. What's the place? Jit Lada is a Thai place. There it is. It's up on the thing. Oh, my God. We're seeing a picture right now. So I guess this is a type of ramen that is spicy.

There's fire on it. So you're not even doing anything to it. You're just eating something that's supposed to be insanely spicy. First of all, the package is a purple that you normally don't see in the world. Can I tell you something, guys? I guarantee you there's a townie listening to this who's eating this. Yeah. To let you know my spicy palate,

I live in a town where the Mexican restaurant is called Taco John's. Gotcha. There's a gentleman named John making the tacos. You're rolling. It has to be wrapped in. Wrapped in this white bread. Yeah, absolutely. It's hot chicken flavored ramen.

I never went through a ramen stage. Taco John's is the only place where white people are taking Mexicans' jobs in this country. Taco John's. Taco John's. Did you guys ever fuck with ramen? Yeah. My kids love ramen.

There's an amazing ramen restaurant right here in the valley. That's real ramen. You're talking about the package ramen. I make it for my kids all the time. We bought cups of it. Cup of ramen. This looks like every indication on here.

There is a person with, is it her thumb up or a finger up kind of saying. It looks like the chef. She's screaming something. She looks completely white. I think it's a chicken. Is that a chicken? I think she has a chicken. It is a chicken, and they're giving you the thumbs up. You get to see this on the Dump People Tom Facebook page.

Chicken's giving you the thumbs up. Now then there's like four or five peppers in the upper right corner of the fire, and the word mala, which mal in Spanish means bad, but this is ramen. It's a different thing. It looks like it could be something else.

No idea. I'm going to tell people don't eat it, or do eat it, and tell me how it went. What does it say? Hot chicken flavor ramen. Hot is all caps. Hot is all caps. Hot is all caps.

So that's some serious shit. They're like, don't mess with this unless you want to. And correct me if I'm wrong, the character is that chicken is bleeding from its anus. Yeah, it looks like it. There's a little spot behind it. I thought I had to have a procedure, a camera put in my body because I had blood in my stool. And then after this, everything goes down. The doctor goes, everything's fine with you. I don't know why you would have done this. He goes, do you eat beets? And I said, no, I don't in my stool. And then after this, everything goes down. The doctor goes, everything's fine with you.

I don't know why you would have done this. He goes, do you eat beets? And I said, no, I don't eat beets. And then I remembered that I'd eaten half of a red velvet cake the day before. I found blood in my stool. And so I had this whole procedure done because I had a fucking cake. Red velvet. Velvet cake.

That should have been on your list of, hey, do not eat any red velvet cake before you have a camera up your ass. That should be something you remembered before you waited. I completely agree. The fact that Chad Daniels was asked. You're allowed to have the red velvet cake. You're allowed to be concerned about seeing coloring in your stool. But at some point before you have a camera put inside of you, you have to put one and one together. Did I eat anything yesterday?

I forgot. I was in a golf match, and the guy brought me red velvet cake because he knew it would distract me. And by the end of it, I was being an asshole and putting with one hand and just eating handfuls on the green. And still beating him. Like you're the king of a country that doesn't exist. Just dropping red velvet all over the green.

And then dropping it in your mouth. No, I was very careful. Oh, you were eating all of it. You were getting all of it inside. But then, yeah, the next day day I was like, oh, no. Something's wrong with my body. It was. You ate all that cake.

That's like when my kids would eat cupcakes with green icing on it, and their stuff would come out like fluorescent green, and you're like, did you eat an alien? What happened? So, all right. Shannon Golding. She is Shannon. Shannon Golding.

She was rushed to the hospital with all of her blood because she tried to do the spicy ramen challenge. Shannon was with pal Keelan Unsworth. That is not a real name. When they videotaped themselves. Keelan Unsworth. Yep. When they videotaped themselves doing the challenge. And despite her diagnosis and doctor's warnings, the woman has vowed to do it again,

this time with even hotter noodles. Why do you hate that? So she's a dummy to try it, but then she becomes a member of Dumb People Town by saying, I'm going to do it again. This is actually what that Britney Spears song is about. Oops, oops, poops, poops, I did it again. Shannon,

from Greater Manchester, like Wigan, said, I would say this challenge was deadly, but it was definitely a successful challenge. Why? How is it successful that you're shitting blood? Well, I thought I'd be able to complete it all, but I didn't ever think I'd end up in the hospital. How is that successful?

I don't know. Please define success. Maybe she's defining success in a way that we can't see. It's like that episode of Arrested Development where Job says he'll break out of the prison and then he gets stabbed and he wakes up from his stabbing and he goes, where am I? And he goes, you're in a hospital.

I did it. Outside of the prison. And he goes, ta-da. You know how people speak a little differently when they're reading because they have to go from word to word? I believe that Shannon actually talks like that, so I think this is perfect. This is her.

So I was, yeah, success story. After we ate it, I started getting really bad pains. So did Keelan. But his weren't as bad as mine. Here's a gross alert. Later, this is gross alert for the listener. I'm telling you. Trigger happy.

If you need to listen. Later on the next day, I went to the toilet. It was just pure blood. Quote, so I had to go to the ER, and they were asking me if I had hemorrhoids or things like that. I didn't, but I have IBS, and I ate spicy noodles. I think you found the recipe. Yeah. Quote, I was telling the doctors and nurses.

Sounds like a great catch. I'm just saying that right now. I was telling the doctors and nurses about it, and they just started laughing at me. This is the best hospital I've ever heard of. Let me finish that. She sounds like a great catch for Chuck Berry. She says, I told the doctors and nurses, they just started laughing at me. Of course.

Yeah. I found out that the spicy noodles had triggered me to start pleading. You didn't draw that together? By the way, that is an English hospital. If you told me that there's a hospital in England where they still smoke, I'd be like, yeah. They laughed at her. I was in pain, but I wasn't really thinking

about it. I was just laughing at the fact that it made me go to the hospital. So you're laughing and they're laughing. You made it okay for them to laugh. All my family was there. Her asshole is laughing in some way. It's throwing up. It's laughing so hard. Quote, all my family were there telling me I was a dope. They were all panicking and I

just found it really funny. This person is going to weed herself out of this planet within a year. This is part of natural selection. She's trying hard. She's leaning in on that. I'd like a dumb people where are they now when we find out. Let's do the where. Let's check back in with them.

A lot of dumb people. Where have they been? But I would like to see where this woman is after another hot ramen challenge. Right. All my friends were like, well, that's typical Shannon. That's Shannon for you. So I was talking about golf.

There was one time I was playing in St. Louis. We were there. I was there too. You were in St. Louis. We were playing on a public course. Kind of course for like in St. Louis where like someone will not be wearing a shirt. Louis. We were there. I was there, too. You were with me. We were in St. Louis. We were playing on a public course. Kind of course for, like, in St. Louis where, like, someone will not be wearing a shirt. Yeah. Uh-huh.

And we were wearing, like, jeans, flip-flops. Jeans, shorts. Flip-flops. Golfing. And the guys swing, and they're having this conversation. And, like, we're on the whole. We're going to the green, and they're on the tee. And they're coming to the tee for the next one.

So, like, we're hearing a lot of their conversations as we're coming up the fairway. But just snippets. Snippets of it. And they're just talking about this girl that as we're coming up the fairway. But just snippets. Snippets of it. And they're just talking about this girl that apparently they all knew, quote unquote, her name was Sherry. And they're just like, it's about Sherry and she's doing this. And then just this guy is like, he just kind of had enough of the whole conversation. He's like, well, that's Sherry for you.

And this has lived in the lexicon of the Sclars. That's Sherry for you. That's Shannon for you.'s Sherry for you. And this is lived in the lexicon of the Sclardons. That's Sherry for you. That's Shannon for you. That's Shannon for you. Not a quote. Oh, yes, it is a quote. I have a reputation for doing stuff like this. Stop. Well, that's Shannon for you. Just stop. Don't you want a reputation for not doing things like this?

Once. Well, see, but then, okay. Her identity is wrapped up in her stupidity. Okay, so that's my question. Do you ever know someone that was so stupid that, like, you know in their heart of hearts they didn't want to do stupid stuff anymore, but that's who they were? Right. It's like the horrible laugh. Yeah.

Right? Somebody once in the office was like, that laugh is adorable. And now everywhere they go, me. And it's awful. That's, like, awful. Don't encourage that. I'm sorry. Is there a billy goat in here?

Like the jackass guys. Like I feel bad for them. At some point, don't they want to be like, I don't want to ride off a cliff. I don't want to jerk off going out of a helicopter. I don't want to do that. I do. Yeah, I was just going to say that. Does that sound fun?

To myself. That's Chad for you. That's Chad for you. He'll do it. Once I was doing a drinking challenge And I took a shot and ended up chipping my tooth I've just got a reputation for being the dopiest friend Shannon you don't have to live this life

Quote I made friends with quite a few people in the hospital And they were all I feel like I'm reading her summer report She's like it's like a community in here I made friends with quite a few people in the hospital, and they were all asking what I was in for, and I said, well, I ate some spicy noodles.

They were laughing their heads off at me. Yeah, Dad, she doesn't have any periods. Her entire life is a run-on sentence. One was like, I'm here because I've had a stroke, and you're here because you ate noodles. And boy, did we share a great laugh. And then I started bleeding out of my asshole again.

My mom and dad said that was a bad thing. But not my real dad, because my real dad left when I was three. And I never understood why, but then I started bleeding again, and I figured it out. So I've been taking the No Dad Challenge for 12 years. No Dad Challenge. And you know what? No dad challenge. And you know what? I'm going to do it again. Dial up the spices.

But then one day. Okay. I'm going to make a guess here, and this is all on me. This is Chad talking. Shannon's overweight. Don't know. Maybe not. Maybe not after the noodles.

When you chip a tooth doing a shot in a shot challenge for attention, that's good. That's overweight. Or she could just be like Shelley Duvall thin. Yeah, yeah. She's one end of the spectrum. She's probably not up the middle. I'd say no matter what she is, she's very comfortable in her skin. Oh, she doesn't give up.

I actually think she does not care. The very fact that she's like, I will do this again. This person's like, I was in, I had a stroke in a year for eating noodles. And Shannon's like, isn't that hilarious? You had a stroke. Isn't that funny? It was funny though. I showed them all the video and they were all laughing at me.

The video of what? I don't know. But what if the patients were like, I think they sent this woman in here to make us feel better about ourselves. It's like a Patch Adams sort of deal. Her name is Ass Adams. Like a dog in the waiting room. Just to calm you.

Shannon's our comfort animal. She's leaning in, guys. She's leaning in. Quote, the doctors warned me to stay away from spicy food, but I put jalapenos in everything and I I've eaten, and I've never had any problems with it. He said, I guess that's the doctor, I'm just advising you. It's up to you whether you do it again, but I'm advising you not to. But he was laughing when he said it, and I'm still eating jalapenos with everything. I know you went to school for 10 extra years, but fuck you.

I think I know my body better than you. I kind of like her now. She's unbelievable. In the video film Last Nuts, Shannon and Keelan struggled to breathe as they chomp on the $1.25, oh, it's a pound, I don't know, it hasn't been controlled.

Two bucks, three bucks. Of noodles as quickly as they can during the challenge. While Keelan complained of shoulder pain and Hey, here's something that should never happen. After you eat ramen and have shoulder pain. Hey, here's something that should never happen. After you eat ramen, you have shoulder pain. How hot is that ramen?

Rotator cuff injury hot. He probably threw the spoon so hard after his first bite. Then things got spicy when Keelan complained of shoulder pain and I watched his glasses steam up, Shannon said. Shannon said, quote, Shannon said, quote, fucking hell, I've only got a bit left and I can't breathe.

She can't breathe. That's a moment where you say to yourself, what life do I want? This is not worth it. Why am I doing this? Because what happens when we become adults is that we become our own parents in some ways, and we police our own behavior. Some people, like this woman, is like, F that. Keelan manages to swallow the whole pot in just a minute and 35 seconds, but Shannon gives up and chugs water, seven up, and then milk to counteract the noodle spiciness.

She claims she thought other people had been exaggerating the heat before completing the challenge, but rethought that after the first mouthful when it, quote, it felt like her throat was swelling up. Quote, it was so spicy I thought my life was going to end and when I have the rest of it. At that point, we accepted that

people weren't over-exaggerating the vehicles. It actually hurt really bad. I'd definitely do it again. I left a bit of the noodles at the end, so I want to do it again to compete at all. She's a completist. What? I mean, look, first of all, she does have follow-through. You've got to appreciate that. Two,

even in the face of terrible and difficulty, she's still trying to make people laugh. We're just going to die again. I hope I don't end up in a hospital again, but it's going to be crazy. I can see her walking in a room with a string hanging out of her asshole, and Keenan's just like, noodles? Here we go.

Here we go. It's time. By the way, that would be my nickname for her. Noodles? Noodles. We'll get out of here on this, and I'm going to ask you guys. They're the same age. How old is Shannon and Keeneland?

Keeneland is a racetrack in Kentucky. Keeneland. Keeneland. Too much fun leaves marks in life. Living hard, you'll pay the price. Who is gonna get it right? Guess the age.

Guess the age. You can go first, Tig, or third. You pick. Tig is the second spot. You pick what spot you want to go in. I'm going to go first. How old do you think Shannon and Keelan are? I'm going to say they are 38.

38 years old. Randy or Jason? I'm going to say, Jay, I'll go before you. I'm going to say that they're 23 years old. 23 years old. Wow. Randy or Jason? I'm going to say, Jay, I'll go before you. I'm going to say that they're 23 years old. 23 years old. Out of school, but still sad that they're out of school. Gotcha.

They're 28. 28 years old. Saturn is returning for both of them. You said 30. I say 38 overweight. 38 overweight. I say 23 feeling free. I say 28 just can't wait. Shannon, who couldn't complete the hot ramen spicy challenge.

And couldn't care less what her doctor told her. And has never used a period in conversation ever. And made the day for a lot of- Is having a period out of her asshole right now. Terminally ill people. She brightened their day with the blood from her butt. Snatch Adams. Get your answers in now. Because she

is 20 years old. Randy's so happy. He threw a fucking... Texas Longhorns up in this. Let me just say this. Vince Young. And now that I know how old she is, I do not think she makes it to 38.

There's no way. Don't. Shannon, take control of your life in the right way. All right. There's two stories down. Dan, give me a little teaser of what we're going to see in the third segment. We just have a fun, dumb story. Nobody broke a crime.

Well, they broke a crime, but it's not bad. It's just fun. It's more of a fun story. Broke a crime or broke a rule? Committed a rule. Bro broke a crime. Well, they broke a crime, but it's not bad. It's just fun. It's more of a fun story. Committed a crime or broke a crime? Committed a rule. Broke a rule. All right.

Committed a rule and broke a crime. All right, we'll be back with more Chad Daniels Dump People Town right after this. Stick around. Make it sound

for more Dump People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to DPT. We love having you guys here. As we mentioned earlier, thanks for joining The Drip. Please keep doing that. Come see us live at the All Things Comedy Festival. Those tickets will sell out.

We just spoke to Bert Kreischer. I think he's going to be our guest on that show. That's fun. Which is fantastic. Live in Phoenix. That's Thursday night in Phoenix. And then Friday we're at the Tempe Improv. Right.

But if you're in Phoenix, go see Chad Daniels at the Tempe Improv this weekend as it is, and then come back and see us on Friday night, do a headline set there. And then I'll be back there in Arizona. I'll be in Phoenix on the 14th, that Wednesday. Leading up to that, I'll be on tour. Of November, yes. And leading up to that, I'll be on my tour all up and down the West Coast. Go to DanielVanKirk.com if you want to see me in Seattle, San Francisco, Portland, L.A.

San Diego. San Diego. Eugene. And Supersclars.com for our dates, too. ChadDaniels.com to check him out. He is fantastic. I guarantee you it'll be one of your favorites. You'll say thank you to us.

You can also go to BrentRathbone.com. Oh, Brent Rathbone. I did just pick that up after the break. You did? Okay, good. I love you got that during the break. BrentRathbone.com. Oh, Brent Rathbone. I did just pick that up after the break. You did? Okay, good. I love you got that during the break. Brentrathbone.com.

It's just a page. It's explanations of crimes that have already happened. Right. And it's a landing page that sends you. It's a guy in a press conference just waving behind the guy talking.

Perfect. Brentrathbone.com. Are you ready? Let's do it. Let's hear it. Let's get out of here. This was sent in by Liz Haggerty. At Liz Haggerty.

She sends in a lot of stuff. Sends in a bunch. I appreciate it. Thank you, Liz. Thank you. All right. Minersville, Pennsylvania. Is that the most Pennsylvania name for a town?

Minersville. Minersville. Like everyone has just soot on their face. Just a whole bunch of men and women who didn't even want to get creative at all. They're just there to work. They just show up at a factory that is closed. Oh, you thought it was a minor league baseball team? I went with people drinking underage.

That's immediately what I thought. Minersville. It's like the donkey town in Pinocchio. It's just a whole bunch of kids doing whatever they want. Just a bunch of young teen boys making you smell their fingers. That's what I had. Driving vans into storefronts. You roll through that town.

Yep. The Minersville Police Department just received a payment for a parking ticket from 1974. Wow. Yes. That's followed. Minersville Police Chief Michael Combs, I have a cousin named Michael Combs, said he received a letter in the mail last week. Of course it was in the mail.

It was not an email because whoever is paying for this does not have an email. He's like, I was just waiting for ePay. Michael Combs. He also looks exactly... Michael Combs. A man who's never used a comb. Amber vision glasses, comb over haircut. You're close. He has

the deal where he's he got his uniform 20 years ago and he hasn't gotten the neck resized at all. So there's a lot of neck overflow. Yeah. Like, you can kind of see in this photo here how much of his neck is, like, hanging over. He's got a lot of neck hanging out. A lot of jowl action.

I lived in California when I was 21 years old, and I got a job at Claim Jumper. It's a restaurant. Oh, I know. Let me move into one. We had to use bolo ties or wear them. Really? So we had to button our shirt up all the way up. And I remember offering some people dessert as my double chin was over.

And the guy goes, well, not if it's going to make me that fat. Oh, Jesus. I know. That's harsh. I'm like, you're a claim jumper. We're like, no one can finish any plate of food. Right. That's how much food they give you a claim jumper.

He jumped your claim. It was brutal. Damn. Not just going to make me that, but you're not even that big of a guy. Well, that's nice. Were you that big back then? Maybe. All right.

Michael Combs said, quote, he read it. It's addressed, of course. For some reason, I don't know it's addressed of course of course he says in the most derisive way ever to the police department of course with the return address

this is the return address on the letter feeling guilty wayward road any town California so the person also is like I don't want to know where I am, but I'm going to be cute about it. Who the fuck wrote this? Robert Durst? What's happening?

Spell Beverly with an extra E. What? In the letter, there was a parking ticket from 1974 along with some cash and a note. The note said, Dear PD, write it out. You're not friends. Police department. Yeah. Write it out.

You're not friends. Police department. Yeah. I've been carrying this ticket around for 40 plus years, always intending to pay. Forgive me if I don't give you my info. With respect, Dave. Rathbone. Dave Rathbone. Dave Rathbone, one of the best managers in the business.

Dave Rathbone. No, but there is something. Number one, he's definitely taken better care of this parking ticket than his own children. Oh, yeah. We know that. That's something he's taken care of for 40 years. Oh, yeah, yeah. He got away with it.

I can't carry something around for a week without it ending up in the washing machine. Yes. Right. So 40 years is very impressive. So where do you think he kept it? In the wall of Comparto? None of you guys are fat wallet receipt guys. I am.

I'm a fat wallet receipt guy. And it's just like a ton of receipts in there. I got to get them out. It's stupid. I got to get them out. I mean, it's thick. Jay. Jay.

Jay. It's sciatica. It is, really. Everything's got to go in the front pocket. Isn't that what, what's his name shouted in that movie? Sciatica. Sciatica. That's what he was saying.

My ass hurts and my back is causing me problems. With respect, Dave. Not a lot of respect. 40 fucking years, man. How much respect do you have? By the way, you got away with it. It's a victimless crime. Did he pay with any interest?

Well. Does it say? The ticket was written in 1974. Would you guys like to guess how much this ticket was for in 1974 that it took him 40 years to pay it. Parking ticket? Yes. You can go first, TIG, or third. I'm going to say $4. $4. Okay. Jason or Randy?

I think $15. Randy says $15. $10. $10. $15. Since the ticket... Get your answers in right now, Townies, because since the ticket was written in the 1970s, it was for a total of $2. in right now, Townies, because since the ticket was written in the 1970s, it was for a total of $2. Oh my god.

I thought you were way too low. $2. You said $4? I was under the impression he got two tickets, so I was... That's a good point. The chief said the person who paid it was kind enough to add $3 in interest. So you're right. They did pay some interest.

$5. Interesting. You guys. No one sleep on that joke. Quote, he paid us $5, Mike Combs said. So that's 44 years later. So that means I made $3. I can't retire on that.

I don't think Chief Combs understands how tickets work. You don't get the money from the citation. Indirectly, you do. Well, no. I mean, they'll pay the citation and he'll take the three bucks. He's like, I can't retire on that, which also shows you he's thinking about retiring every day. He's been thinking about retiring for a long time. Well, of course he has.

He's a dirty cop and he admits it in news stories. Look, I fell down. I didn't break my leg. I can't retire on that. The Chiefs said that type of ticket would cost someone today $20. I want to go to Minersville. They're only giving out $20 tickets.

$20. If you got to... $65 here in L.A. That's the thing. People are always like, I can't believe this was an $87 ticket. And they're mad in L.A., right? And I'm like,

you understand that if that ticket was anywhere shy of $40... In Minersville, it's $20. But I'm saying, understand that if that ticket was anywhere shy in Minersville it's 20 bucks but I'm saying if in LA your ticket is $20 for being parked where you're not supposed to be like people who gives a shit nobody would care I found a parking space how much is it it's less than 20 bucks nobody would care if it was $35 they have to leave your car out there they have to deter you yes yeah and it's the worst mean, it's like you see the people rolling up and you're just like. You know, so I got a parking ticket for just having like my wheel into the red.

It was the only place I could park here in Burbank. And so I was mad, mad at any parking attendant anywhere. I was so pissed. I was only in the place for 10 minutes. 10 minutes. I came, I was parking in like sort of West Hollywood and I saw a parking guy start to drive up

near my car and I hadn't paid yet. And I got on my car and I was going to go over and be like, I'm going to pay, dummy. Alright? I'm going to the meter. Don't do this to me. I go up with like heat to the guy. I'm coming in hotter than like a hot

ramen through someone's asshole. This guy is the heat to the guy. I'm coming in hotter than a hot ramen. This guy is the crossing guard guy from my son's school who I always give a pound pound to and who I love, who is so nice to all the kids. Robert from right by our school and I was like, listen man,

hey Robert! You need to change gears. Listen man, I had no idea you had another job. I was like, screwed, because I came in so hot. You were mad. You were on tilt from the other one. He gave you a ticket, didn't he? And he gave me a ticket.

That's great. No, it was really, really great, because I was like, now I shouldn't judge any of these people. The chief said that ticket would cost someone $20 today. He said the ticket was for a car with Ohio plates. Back then, the department didn't have the technology to keep track of out-of-state cars. Yeah. I was just thinking the other day.

By the way, you could commit, which tells me you could have murdered so many people in the 1970s. Oh, I was watching a movie recently, and I was like, man, it would be so easy to rob a bank in the 70s. Yeah. Get away with it. I love how they have a price point for current tickets, but no one's parked in Minersville since 74.

No. Nobody's even been there. It's the last person to park there. It's an empty town and a whole bunch of kids. I think it's like 20 bucks. I don't know. There shouldn't be any red zone. You should be able to park anywhere.

He's still blown away that anyone would keep a ticket this long, let alone pay it. Quote, we do appreciate that this individual paid their ticket. And again, we encourage other individuals, if you have an outstanding ticket, please pay it. Oh, come on. Don't get on a soapbox. Get out of here. Shut up. It's like when you're at a funeral and they're like, you know what, we should take this time to see who here wants to commit Jesus

Christ. I'm like, not today. It's not what today's for. Did he go there? Because I'm out. If he's up there, I'm out. Yeah, exactly. The chief said he'd like to track the person down who paid the ticket just to say thank you and chat. No way. He's going to arrest him.

Don't do it. Exactly. I'll do it. I just want to have a couple words with you inside this cell. I just want to lock him up and throw him out of the gate. I'll be on the outside. You'll be on the inside. I know. Don't do it feeling guilty.

Don't do it. Dave, don't. Yeah. Have you ever gotten a ticket in a rental car and then you throw it away and forget about it? guilty. Don't do it. Dave, don't. Yeah. Have you ever gotten a ticket in a rental car and then you throw it away and forget about it? Yes. So you have to pay the rental car fee that they charge you. Yeah. And then you have to pay the ticket, but it's over 30

days because the rental car doesn't tell you about it until it's 30 days. And that's how you teach your kids what exponentially means. It's a terrible, terrible thing. Remember when this was just $30? It's now $30 to the fifth power. That's two stories. Let me ask

you this. If you had that ticket and it was fine, you wouldn't pay that 40 years later. I would walk it in. Walk it in again? Just to be like, I might get five minutes out of it. You'd pay it in pennies. What if it ruined Dave's life and he's been sitting there? This has been the conundrum of his whole life. Before he's about to die. Just to be like, I might get five minutes out of it. You paid in pennies. What if it ruined Dave's life?

And he's been sitting there. This has been the conundrum of his whole life. Before he's about to die. Maybe. It's his telltale heart. It's 44 years. Yeah. That thing. It's like he feels the heartbeat of it in his body.

Maybe he was taking a flight for the first time ever. And he goes, not without paying this ticket. Not without. No. And you know he said to everybody, not without settling my debts. Yeah, he's got to settle up at the bar. I got a score to settle. I love it.

There you go. That's three stories. Holy shit. I love it. ChadDaniels.com. Check him out live. Get it. Stream his albums.

Footprints on the moon. You will thank us for it. I'm so happy that you are in this city and that we could do this. This was a blast. I'm glad it worked out thanks a lot I love it and oh shit

we gotta get back to work dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum

dum dum dum dum stick around make a sound when you're down it's Dumb People Town it's Dumb People Town.