Dumb People Town - Chad & JT - That Snake Is Toxic

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

Chad Kroeger and JT Parr (Going Deep with Chad & JT on All Things Comedy) stop by as Randy explains why a Chinese zoo has to deny that it's Sun Bear is a man in a bear suit, Daniel warns about a hiker that brought a snake home and ends up in the hospital, and Jason describes a couple left with "trust issues" after opening potato chips, and so much more!

Thank you. So listen to our podcast jam With co-host Armand Dan And Dirk, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound Bunker Down is Dumb People Town Hey Townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town

Population U Population Chad and JT chad and jt boys welcome oh thank you thank you for having us fired up right i mean i feel like you guys are uniquely positioned to help us understand what is happening you've definitely been to more town halls than all of us included we understand towns and dumb right yeah yeah like from both sides right so municipality meeting you're like look there are dumb people on all sides what is it what is the municipality local government yeah oh dude i do know a lot about that yeah i think we should move the hedges by the park like that sort of people but for that person

it's the biggest thing in the world like when you guys go to a town hall meeting and just completely mess it up uh the three or four people you have to listen to before you step to the mic or four you've been like hours right you're there for hours yeah we've seen some really weird we saw one guy in newport beach we always talk about who went up there this was peak covid he clearly had COVID he was coughing everywhere and sweating shirtless and very tanned shirtless at a town hall meeting is a freaking choice

and he went up there and he's like we need to settle more conflict through sword fighting was his testimony I mean can you argue with him but can we argue with him that's how he used to settle all conflicts I liked what he had to say he's like you know back in the day we would die by the blade and uh wrong today we die by the roller blade yeah he'd put his shirt on basically saying people talk shit without repercussions and in his day which i guess in the 70s you

sword fought is that his day the 70s oh she was different back then. How old was he, like 60s? He looks like 50s. It's tough to tell with some of those crazy people. He's leathery and you're like, I don't really 50s. Sun and cigarettes. It's a window. Sun, cigarettes, and swordplay. In my day, it was swords and fondue.

How old are you? And he's like, I'm 33. Whoa, dude. He's the only regular at Medieval Times. Yeah, yeah. Are you ordering anything today, Richard? Nope. Here for the game.

The usual. You should never say Medieval Times the usual and then be like, we know what it is. Is Dale fighting? How do you know their actual names? The turkey leg. Here's the deal. We get stories sent to us by our awesome fans. We're still doing it on X.

Dan, maybe in the new year. X is a good, I hate, I hate X in general, but it is a good delivery system. It is a good. Threads would be as well. At Daniel Van Kirk, at Sklar Brothers, and just hashtag Dump People Town. And then we know. Yeah, maybe we can move it to Threads. All right.

Let's, should we get in this one? This was sent in by Josh Mout. Mout. Mout. Mout. M-O-U-A-T. Thanks. At Josh Mout.

And this was sent in July. You ready for the headline, you guys? Here it is. China Zoo denies allegations already. If a zoo is denying allegations that they had sex with the bear. Stop. This is kind of great because I feel like this. They left the gate open.

This happens in Asia a lot. Now, okay. China Zoo denies allegations that star attraction is just a man in a sun bear costume. Have you guys seen this? I have seen the videos of this. No, I haven't seen it. There's like a bear that's doing very human actions. Like standing up and it looks like he's got, I want to say like pockets underneath.

I don't know. He's like vaping. He's like. No vaping. It's very. He's got river's eyes as he looks out. I'm going to read this. To block the sun.

Right. Okay, here we go. And it said. He did this. Throwing hand gestures. Gang symbols. They're like, slow down. Yeah, he's affiliated west side

with this he did that with his paw it's a barely believable sight oh my god i hate that i hate it no that's top two in the video that's gone viral a black colored bear at a zoo in china can be seen standing on its two hind legs on the precipice of a rock feature and interacting with tourists by waving its paws. So if you are a guy- A bear would never do this, right? It's like the Shoney bear. Like Roy Wood Jr. had that job where he had to go out in front in the bear suit and wave

people in the restaurant. Actually, I have seen the videos and I thought the bear was real. So now I feel a little duped. Yeah. Bears don't wave traditionally yeah bears don't just do do they how would i know i mean i saw grizzly man once i have no idea yeah i mean i've seen a lot of bear action on tv and like you clearly know that it's a bit like when they're sitting up you're like whoa, that's super weird. This thing is standing on its hind legs.

It was like a guy waving. His hand on his hip. Dan, like a stepdad waving to his kids. I don't even know, anatomically, do they have this movement in their repertoire? Do they have an elbow? Can they pronate? Thank you so much. I'll have to rethink all my bear interactions.

Right? Have you guys ever interacted with a bear for real? I was in Tahoe, and this one gave me a pound but it just gave me one of these yeah he's like what's up dude i'm a black bear he was like wait are you going in the convenience store remember there was that bear that went in the convenience store just got all that stuff i was like after you dude yeah i thought that's just what happens in tahoe is this like a hit job by like the american government to like undermine china which is great because we're like look they have tiktok and it's definitely Is this like a hit job by the American government to undermine China? Which is great because we're like, look, they have TikTok and it's definitely working.

Let's take them down one zoo at a time. That's our policy is the zoo policy. We've had bad luck with animals from China. That's true. For some reason, I feel like the bear would be smoking a cig. Yeah, exactly. Bears around the corner. During his break, he's like, what?

Bears can't smoke cigs? Bears recreating that skyscraper poster from New York. Eating lunch from a pail. Bears used to be tough, man. They were different. Remember when bears used to smoke and settle things with swords? All right. However, there's apparently more of the meets the eye at the Sun Bear exhibit at the Hangzhou

Zoo, which is reportedly a popular tourist section. The neat sen who posted the video is convinced that the quote talented bear is actually a human in a costume reported the Hangzhou Daily. The zoo on Saturday denied the charge. Like, what if you're the guy who has to speak for or a woman who has to speak for the zoo? Just be like, that's not. We don't. What do you mean? Why?

Why would we do that? woman who has to speak for the zoo just be like that's not we don't what do you mean why why would we do that adding adding that the temperature on the day the video was taken was 40 degrees celsius and a person wearing a suit would not be able to tolerate the heat that's their excuse that's it interesting it was pretty hot so i mean you can't really call this fire if it's what's 40 degrees celsius like 200 degrees it's like 90 that'll melt you that's pizza cooking 40 is like 100 degree 98 yeah i'll just look it up look at it i think it's i think my guess is it's 81 degrees my guess yeah let's guess i think it's what do you think it is like 200 he said 200 i think if i remember from australia 30 was like i'm gonna go with 90

90 40 is 90? Yeah, I think it's 96 degrees. There's so many listeners. What did you say? 81, Dan? There's so many listeners who know exactly what it is. Yeah, all right. So you said 100. Are you ready?

4 degrees is 104 degrees. Whoa! Now that's a pretty good excuse, you were saying. Good cook of pizza. They pointed to the bear's human-like movements while standing and waving, and what also appeared to be pants-like folds around its rear while standing and waving and what also appeared to be pants like folds around its rear while standing commenters on the gmu article yeah you shouldn't be like pulling up your fur yeah his his fur hemmed right i was like yeah why is this dude got cuffs

it's a posture more upright than human said one. Another claim bears forelimbs cannot spread out to the sides. This is undoubtedly a human being. You guys are right. One Weibo user come out and I love that. Like now you get all the bear experts like, no, excuse me. This is what it is. That's to be really funny. It looks like he's wearing a leather jacket.

This is not the first time that zoo in China has grabbed headlines for raising eyebrows in 2019. Yangqing wild animal world in Shangzhu, a city in eastern China in Jiangsu province, sparked controversy after it asking its workers to dress as gorillas, reported the press. Wait, so there's precedent for this? Fool me once, dude. Fool me once. Shame on me.

The real answer is probably the saddest, right? It's like, well, we took this animal out of its habitat in its entirety and the only species it interacts with is people so it's just mimicking the movements of the only sort of i now i want it to be a guy has now i want it to be a guy who works for the zoo get the guy who cleans up the thing he'll get in the suit could it be like more nefarious too could it be like CRISPR technology and they've actually gene edited bears to make them more human like? I mean, that would be unbelievable. And they can't tell us that, so they'd almost rather we think it's people. There was a bear that fought in World War II

I believe. Oh, for real? It was officially a Polish soldier and fought with the Allies. And it was decorated. I thought it was a Nazi bear. Nazi bear. I don't think so, no. Nazi bear is like the sequel to Cocaine Bear. I would like to see this transition to just humans being the animals at zoos.

I think that's much more ethical. Well, when the aliens get here, we may get that chance. All of a sudden, our whole perception on, well, no, it's cool to look at them, may change. I hope I get like primo real estate, like I'm where the lions were, not where the bugs are. Yes. Right. You hope you get the alien version of Disney where there's a lot of room for them to run out here. Yeah, exactly.

It's fun. It's like a living room setting. Yeah. You know how the penguins will have like, it'll be like an icy machine decoration. Right. This looks like ice, right? Right. Oh, yeah.

Totally. That looks slick. Yeah. Anyway anyway just paint it white they won't know yeah that's where they're at so here's what the zoo said about the asking humans to dress as gorillas in 2019 the zoo defended itself and said uh that the human gorillas were special were a special program designed to entertain tourists on april fool's day oh did you know april fool's day was the in China? I didn't know that. We now know it is. International with April Fool's Day. It added

that it had not expected the arrangement to cause a misunderstanding from visitors. That is such a backtrack of like... Also, sort of a good prank. It's a great prank, but like the old, I didn't know you'd be offended by that, is like the non-apology. Yeah, of course. Sorry, you couldn't handle that. How about this? In 2013,

CNN reported that a zoo in Luhai, Hainan, tried to pass off a large hairy dog as a lion. What is happening at China's zoos? I've seen people do that with Labradoodles a lot. A visitor told Beijing Youth Daily that when she and her son approached the cage marked African lion, they were greeted not by a mighty roar but a bark that's great why is the lion barking why is the lion barking have any of you guys in person heard a lion roar

no you can feel it wow it's mind blowing the furry beast turned out to be a Tibetan Mastiff also cool enough to just go see a Tibetan Mastiff. I've never seen one of those before. I'd pay good money for a Tibetan Mastiff.

Or a guy dressed as a Tibetan Mastiff, I would take that too. Why is a Tibetan Mastiff on its back leg? Well, we have the guy dressed as a collie. That's right, Canadian. Also, the lions don't show up a lot. I've been to the San Diego Zoo a bunch, and they're never where you want them to be. Dogs are way better. Dogs do their job.

Dogs will do tricks. You can get it to do stuff. Look, if you throw the Frisbee, that lion will go get it. That's what I think. Other animals in the park were similarly mislabeled. Beijing Youth Daily reported that another dog in the wolf cage and a white fox on display in the leopard enclosure. So they're not even... They don not even...

The signs don't even match the animals, what it is. The park told us... Dan, you hate zoos. I know you hate them. But a disorganized zoo? It's even worse. Let me see if I can... Find the video? They're beating us at a lot of stuff, but it seems like we still have the upper hand

when it comes to zoo entertainment. Here's the bear. Look at it look dude oh that's a real bear dude the bear has no ass i don't know where the skepticism comes from i also think it's a real bear it clapped it's 100 a real bear people like oh a bear is supposed to look like this that is uh oh my god that's an asian it just clapped that is a that is a bear built like detlef shrimp he's got he's got shrimp watch him clap look at this clap dude that is that's 100 of them you think that's a bear jay what do you think that's 100 a bear no no that's 100 a person in a bear he's got wrinkles on the back it's a different it's a completely different

type of coat look at this look at Look at it. He claps it. Come on. He's like bowing. Just that dismount is completely animal incredible. I'm just more, yeah, I think he's just on the wrong diet. Yeah. You gotta feed him better. He's on a cage diet. Yeah, exactly. There's no vegan bear. Alright. He's a vegan bear. So that's

story number one. Down in the books! We'll tell you guys how you can follow these guys at the top of segment two and what's going on with us. Hey, it's Dumb People Town. Chad and JT are with us. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make us down. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show.

Chad and JT are with us. Before we tell you how you can check out their awesome podcast and all the videos and cool shit they've done. If you love Dumb People Town, you will love what these guys do. Period exclamation point all that stuff let's tell them what we have going on in our stuff so if this comes out before the new year which it might uh we are gonna be in portland oregon on the fourth at uh helium one night one show let's sell this freaking thing out right the next night we're doing the wet city comedy uh festival in uh

seattle at the crocodile and then at the beginning oh then we're gonna be in alaska we're gonna be in fairbanks alaska which i love so much great town really cool people on the 18th of january and then the uh beginning of february we are back in denver at the comedy work south beginning of march we're at uh at mark ridley's comedy castle in detroit and then beginning of March. We're at, uh, at Mark Ridley's comedy castle in Detroit. And then beginning of April, we're at Acme in Minneapolis. And then the end, we're going to do a moon tower, moon tower.

So in Austin, end of April, good stuff coming up. Superstylized.com. You can see all those dates and whatnot. Dudes. Tell us like, how can our fans support you guys and watch you and enjoy your stuff?

Yeah. Well, we have a podcast going to be challenged. AT all things comedy. Love it. Uh, we had new tour dates coming. Well, we have a podcast going to be with Challenge AT, All Things Comedy. Love it. We have new tour dates coming. Ours are finished, but we'll be back on the road in February. You can get tickets at challengeat.com.

We'll be in Orlando, Tampa. Nice. Miami. Florida, baby. Tempe. Texas on there, too. Texas. Great.

I love it. San Francisco, Sacramento, and more coming. Nice. and you guys both do stand up do you then do do you do any live podcasting or whatnot or come on stage together and do stuff as you go how does it work we do a q a at our at our live show at the end so that'll be like 20 minutes that's always super fun it gets rowdy yeah it's rowdy what what do things keep coming up that people want to know? Like what is like for you guys one of the funniest things?

And I'm sure you kind of have done it so much that you now have answers that are really funny that can go with what they ask you. They ask us about butthole sunning a lot because that was a prominent part of our series. And then they ask us, we did a lot for small penis support. So they ask us a lot about how small our penises are. That's great. Are you asking for you or for us like who are you for a friend yeah I don't think they feel we'll get like really revealing dudes who are like I have a really small penis and they just

want to connect and they're always really trying to connect but their penis is so it's always like a really handsome guy who's like finally I get to be out in the open about this really You are giving really good looking dudes with small penises a chance to be who they are. That's our demo. That's your mission statement. One guy showed up with his mom. We came out with some shirts that say, I have a small penis or I have a small dong. And he's with his mom wearing the shirt.

That's great. She knew. She knew. She knew where it came from. Yeah, she knew it was going to happen. She's like, I made you that way. Yeah, she mom wearing the shirt. That's great. She knew. She knew where it came from. Yeah, she knew it was going to happen. She's like, I made you that way. Yeah, she bought him the shirt. Honey, let the world know.

Let them know. Let them know. ChadandJT.com. Again, check out the podcast. Subscribe to it. You guys will love it. And just follow these guys and watch them live. Dan, should we jump into another story?

Yeah, you ready? Send in by Brew Pounder, at Brew Pounder. Here we go. Person prounds brews. Such a dumb story. Even the headline alone. Hiker brings snake home to show kids ends up in the hospital. Of course!

You know who's going to love this? My kids. And the snake. Do you know what also works? Just taking a picture. Take a picture. Guess what I saw? Probably the same level of enthusiasm from the kids. Picture versus snake. also works? Just taking a picture. Take a picture. Guess what I saw? Probably the same level of enthusiasm from the kids.

Picture versus snake. Dude, let's zoom into it. Let's zoom in and look at a snake. And as a parent of kids, if they're teenagers, he probably brought the snake home and they wouldn't even look up. Look at this snake. Cool. Look at this snake.

Oh my God. This dude's like, guys, wait up. I want to get something for my kids real quick. How do you even get that down off the mountain? Do you just put it around your back and just? He's got it around his neck like a rucksack. I think he's friendly. He seems really calm.

His markings. Kids won't look up from their phone texting. Yeah, that's cool, Dad. That's great, Dad. Nice snake, Dad. No, look at it. It's biting me. Look at it. That's great, Dad. That's look at it it's biting me look at it

an unidentified hiker in australia hey it's biting me can you just not can you just not just leave me alone for five minutes not right yeah yeah hiking in australia too that's already like i thought everything was hiking have you guys been to australia i have yeah dude oh yeah you live there so like yeah everything can kill you in australia yeah stradbroke island have you been there no no dude there's i think they have like nine of the ten most poisonous snakes there we were there we were there our we it was like a you know i was there for college for like three months but we were there and they they're like here's a trip you know weekend trip stradbroke island you're like great yeah and they're like you know every poisonous snake lives here and i'm like

no thank you no thank you why are we planning this walk around everybody just walks around waiters yeah everything's like 10 times bigger there too there's bats flying around huge spiders spiders like eating cows and then identified hiker in australia was quote extremely lucky after being bit by what he thought was a harmless diamond python. Okay. I don't even... You just told me there's a diamond python. You can't buy them harmless. They're always harmful. Unless the snake promises you.

Yeah. Unless he's got a good vibe to him. He looks chill. Yeah, he's laid back. He looks so nice. He was like sleeping. I'm not like the other snakes. I've seen a lot of these. The dad's like, I think this is just a guy and a snake come on we're not in china you're not gonna fool me again extremely lucky after being bit by what he thought was a harmless diamond python

which he had captured and took home to show his kids if i got bit by a garter snake i'd be like it's over i'm start saying goodbye to my family and like it's even though that like that's not gonna do anything to you i know it, do you guys, either one of you own snakes? No, I'm not. You did. Ball python, yeah. You had one? Yeah, cream python.

Did it just naturally die? Or you were like, you're free now. Dude, good question. We had him in college. And then our buddy Mason took him. And Mason's kind of a wild card. We haven't really heard from him since. OK, all right.

But he might have harried the snake.enderson the cat or the snake you might have been like you're free just get out of here yeah yeah yeah so we don't want you here don't you see you don't belong slither away so you never heard from mason again mason could be dead i mean that's just yeah guys who own snakes never get any more validation in life than when they go to a highly populated tourist attraction. That is like for every person who's judged them or the family that they don't speak to, they just have to go to Bourbon Street and they will find so much validation. This is like the greatest sound they can ever hear is, whoa. Did you see that?

Yeah. Like most people with the pet that they love you have to be very cautious like is it cool if i like pet your dog but what's next you're like take it yeah he's fine yeah i mean he is no i don't want this is this guy is like every drunk white girl whose friend is so drunk that she's passed out in a bush. He's saying to everyone, he's fine. He's not fine. He's biting you and you're going to die. Yeah, it's the negative impact of my octopus teacher.

Everyone's trying to put a rest. Wildlife. Yeah. Wildlife never. It's like, this could be my new therapist. Right. My snake's not going to give you a hug. My snake therapist?

Yeah, my snake therapist. Tell him all my problems. He gets it. He gets me. You guys don't get me. It's like, whatever, it's like whatever dad whatever a lot of cuddle therapy with a snake did you guys read britney's book no i've saw it like not yet it's not my first christmas excerpts from it she talks about the snake and you remember that iconic performance yes super hot um but i guess the snake was like starting to choke her a little bit and she's

freaking out or she's like i can't believe that snake was toxic this snake was toxic by the way don't let that comment go under the fucking radar that is solid but that's how she finds out she's into that kind of exactly yeah damn it that's what i hate that i love it so much yeah it was a case of mistaken identity as the reptile turned out to be a poisonous broad-headed snake, which looks very similar to the diamond python. Hey, don't pick it up. Take a picture of it.

Yeah. Right. Don't pick it up. If there's even a question, don't. By the way, and I'm so on the snake side. You are literally walking into his house and picking him up. Like, don't do it. Do not do it

the incident occurred last wednesday just love that reference in the new south wales southern highlands as reported by yahoo australia okay reputable source yeah what what level of yahoo do you think is still operating at peak performance and also in what country right it's like yahoo australia some guy living with his aunt like that's yahoo could have had it all they really they really could have they were like the prodigy like we're gonna dominate google and you're like i think they like sold they were like offered at like four billion denied it sold at like 500 million then the person who bought them like resold them for like 50 million or something. It was an incredible... I mean, I'm

directionally correct. All over the place. I just wonder where Yahoo is still thriving. Hopefully it's all showing. The writing stories about guys getting bit by snakes. When they took away the exclamation point. Yeah, dude. That was it. I'm like, you're not excited enough, Yahoo. Not Yahoo?

We're not happy in any way? You wanted a question mark? The guy might have been using Yahoo when he found out what kind of snake it was. For sure. He's like, I don't trust Bing anymore after that bat incident. Let me look it up on Yahoo. It says it's fine. Everyone's like, use Google.

He's like, I'm going to use Yahoo. I'm loyal. I'm loyal. I've got my own source. No, he's like, I'm going to Google it on Yahoo. It's like, no, you can't. You know, Jeeves still works via Yahoo. Yeah, you can ask him, bro.

The man was hiking with friends when he spotted the reptile and captured it. When he was bitten, he didn't think anything of it until returning home and becoming violently ill. Wow. He got bit capturing. That alone should be like, you know what? This guy didn't want to be. Or drive straight to the hospital that too the dish because you know he had friends who were like i really think michael we should get this look he's like it's fine or if you're gay find the hottest dude if you're

straight find the hottest woman and say you need to suck the venom out of this and i'll take i'll take anybody but you need to suck the venom out of this is like but you got bit on your arm oh shit wait no no Here's the deal. Do you think that Marvel movies have gotten people to think that like, this is going to give me superpowers? This is my origin story. Right. What's the worst that could happen?

I become a superhero? It's not so bad. I start to like be able to see the future. Or to me. To me. You are. We're just in the middle of a podcast here. Hey, guys. Or in the middle of a podcast here hey guys or in or in the middle all good all good or the truth of the matter is like you're like i if i got bit by a something and it was like marvel universe i'd be like um

great now i have to fight crime like i gotta add that yeah because i would still want to do comedy and i'm like i had a fight crime how do you give up your time what's your priority right you have to like tell your family i have to go out tonight and they're like are you doing comedy no i have to fight crime you did comedy last wednesday and last thursday and now you're gonna fight crime tonight you can't do it you're gonna have to tell them no yeah ray mcgibbon hold on go ahead oh yeah you never really think about the burden of having to fight crime. It's too much. Being a superhero looks sick, but then when you have to go fight crime.

Every night. Look for it. Find it. And every crime that happens that you didn't stop is a crime you probably could have prevented if you were just more committed to the cause. And also, why is it only night? Do you just take the day off? All those people are like, most crime happens at night.

Sure, but there's plenty during the day. There is stuff during the day. That's why a lot are like, Oh, most crime happens at night. Sure. But there's plenty during the day. There is stuff. That's why a lot of them do Adderall now. It's a real problem. Well, the truth is like you, I mean,

every superhero is like super cut. So you could either fight and you just get cut straight away, fight crime and be that in that good shape or go to spend that time at the gym. It's like you're at the gym or you're fighting crime all day you don't have any time for friends no time to hang out no time to like party right yeah sneak and push-ups and pull-ups in between busting crime working out at the bus stop what if here's a superhero in a small town there's no crime like don't tell anybody you're that guy working out at the bus stop oh dude what if you're a superhero in a small town there's no crime like don't spray paint that dick

hey quit quit harassing her ray is my sister ray mcgibbon wrote on his southern highlands snake catcher facebook page a lot of action over there on that page. Wait, he's got a Southern Highlands snake catcher? Somebody named Ray McGibbon wrote on his Southern Highlands snake catcher Facebook page that, quote, the hiker ended up

in the hospital after experiencing a large swollen hand and violently vomiting for how many hours? How long do we think he violently? I've never violently. Although it always feels some sort of violence in that heave. This guy's so dedicated to being oblivious that I think it was a long time before he was like, this is an issue.

Yeah. I think it was a couple days. A couple days. 48? Yeah, and finally someone else in the family was like, bro, get that chest out. Yeah, make sure. Your hand is the size of a goddamn balloon. He's like, no, I feel fine. My hands are are big the kids love it yeah it's funny the kids are

entertained by my big mitt i actually like the hand more than i like the snake yeah this is a hand it's so australian what do you think how how many hours you think he was violently vomiting yeah i think i think it's a lot i think it's very austral No, it's the fish and chips. Give him a beer. Something else. I told you no Chipotle. 48 hours, Rand, what did you say? I think 10 hours. 10?

Four. Dude, I'm going to go in between. I'm going to go six. Six? He was violently vomiting before he went to the hospital for three hours. That's a long time to three hours. Oh, nice. That's a long time to continuously vomit. I'm fine.

Do you guys think something's wrong with me? A nurse from Bow Roll Hospital phoned McGibbon to, God, how happy was he? He runs the snake catcher page, and now he gets the call. No, Dan, he's got a separate cell phone just for snake bites. It's a blackberry. The snake bite phone is ringing. Yeah, they called him to get identification of the reptile to determine a proper treatment. A photo of the snake was sent to him, and he identified it as a broad-headed snake.

Of course. Huge. Let me identify it. They did find traces of venom in the hiker's system. After six hours, he was sent home to recover. During that time, I collected the snake from his residence, got the location to where they found the snake, and returned it back to its habitat. Also, he could have said, I got the snake from his residence.

I picked it up. Collected is made it seem like he had to run around the house. I collected the snake from his residence. Well, they usually have the pole thing, right? And then there's the old people clippers. Is that like the thing from the Korean deli when they're trying to reach the thing high up on the shelf? You've got to get the clipper, get the thing, clamp it, and bring it. Yeah, you've got to clamp the head and the back.

After myself doing the trek and how long it took to walk in and back, the hiker was extremely lucky to make it out after being bitten and injected with venom. And without receiving any first aid. The hiker is feeling extremely lucky. It could have ended a lot worse than it did. McGimmon wrote that all broad-headed snakes have the potential to cause death from a bite, that its venom is neurotoxic, powerful coagulants, and is weakly hemolytic? I don't know.

McGimmon shared the story to educate people. So please, if you see a snake or any reptile in the wild, admire it in its own habitat. Take photos or a video. Please do not try to capture it and take it home. By the way, again, like Jay said, kids probably never looked up from their phones as his hand was like this size. This dad's need to just want to impress his kids so bad. It's going to be worth it. You guys are going to love it. I feel like back in the day, it used to be, don't even

take a photo of it. People thought that was too dangerous. But now we've moved to the point where we're like, well, you have to film it. How are you going to post it on this guy's snake? We get that. Photos we accept now. Get my face really close to it. Oh, no.

That's story number two, my friend. If it was a human in a snake outfit that never would have happened never or maybe even a worse bite i could see it dude snakes should not have two legs my kids think the guy in the snake outfit is cooler than me we love the snake dad all right give us a little taste of what we're going to get. A little potato chip chicanery, I guess. Chip cannery? Chip cannery. The tail is one of his favorite words.

A little potato chip, chip cannery. All right, on the other side, we'll find out how you can go see Daniel live and all the stuff he's got going on in his movie and all that great stuff. It's Dumb People Town with Chad and JT is our guest. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make it sound. There It's Dumb People Town with Chad and JT is our guest. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make it sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back

to the show. Before we get out of here, before we do the final story, a little chip, chip cannery. Daniel, tell us how people can see you and check you out. Wine Club is out right now. You can check that out over, go to Apple TV. You can also follow at Wine Club on Instagram where you can get a chance to

come to the screening the la premiere on the 17th so go see my movie january 17th of january the 21st i'll be doing shows at sf sketch fest uh movie interruption uh stand up and then um our live pen pals rory scoville and i will be doing our podcast there. Great. And, oh, just other places I'm going. You can go to danielvankirk.com. I'll be in D.C. I'll be in Des Moines. I will be in Cedar Rapids. I'll be in Green Lake, Wisconsin.

They loved you in Cleveland. You'll be back there, I'm sure. Oh, my God. I love those guys. Those guys are the best. Yeah. Hilarities is the best club. All right.

So, anyway, danielvankirk.com i love it all right jade last story let's get into it all right this is sent in by carlene mcdermott at she be carlene unbelievable sender in of stories cup there's the headline couple left with trust issues after opening walker's crisp packet say it again couple left with quote trust issues after opening walker's crisp packet so walker's is the brand chris not like a potato chips potato chips he knows he lived in australia so they left with trust issues after they opened the bag here we go chips a pair of snack lovers have been left in shock after opening a packet of crisps potato chips in eng England. Naomi Moulambala and her partner, Ralph.

That's all they said. So much information about Naomi. Huge imbalance in their names. Right? That doesn't feel right. That may actually foreshadow the imbalance in the relationship itself. Yeah, it's already wrong. It's all about Naomi Moulambala.

Ralph Moulambala was like for one year the best six man in the about naomi and malambala so ralph mulambala it was like for one year like the best six man in the nba ralph malambala yeah he was all elbows everybody like scored 18 on ralph samson all right there we go ralph has been settling down to watch some he and ralph and her partner ralph had been settling down to watch something on netflix why do they have to tell us why do we have have to know? In the news article. They're watching TV. We don't have to know they're watching Netflix. What were you watching? Netflix.

All right, we're putting that. No, were we watching Netflix? We're putting Netflix. What was the documentary about that love cult? Is that on Max? Anyway. Something on Netflix in their South London flat when they fancied a quick bag of crisps. The how old account manager?

How old is this woman? Oh, 36. 36. Is this the girlfriend? Yeah. How old is she? This is Noemi Malambada. Yeah, Malambada.

Oh, Malambada? She's got to be 33. Yeah, Malambada's in her 30s. 35. Jeb was like, oh, Malambada. Oh, change things. You talking Malambada? She's a legend.

Oh, Malambada. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not talking about Naomi Clark, who is obviously 24 We're talking about Malabar here Malabar is definitely 41 She is 29 Years old She's an account manager and she was bemused

When they found these Two mystery crisp packets IT engineer Ralph. How old is this cat? Okay, so he's IT. They're definitely working at the same company. They're having a relationship that the company does not know about.

She's 29. How old is Ralph? Yeah. 22. 22. Robbing the cradle. He's an innocent. He is innocent.

22. She's 20 what? Nine? Yeah. 34. What do you think? I mean, Ralph, 27. I'm going what? Nine? Yeah. 34. What do you think? I mean, Ralph, 27. I'm going to say 41.

41. IT engineer Ralph, 31 years old. Okay. Two years old. This is appropriate. Age appropriate. Had just been down to their local Tesco Express. I'm assuming that's a gas station.

Yeah, we've talked about Tesco. To pick up a six pack. We have the guy who got the barcode of his Tesco saver card tattooed on his arm. He was in there so much, he would just have him scan his arm. Scan it? Yeah. All right. Pick up a six-pack of Walker's Prawn Cocktail Crisps.

See? So it's shrimp cocktail chips. Shrimp cocktail chips. Chips? They're either horrible or on the road. Is there real shrimp in there? Is it just shrimp flavored? Shrimp flavoring?

Dude, you get that shrimp dust? Shrimp just shrimp flavored? You get that shrimp dust? Y'all have that shrimp dust? I'll eat it. I'll try it. I'll eat it. 100% would try it. I kind of want to try it. When the pair began to tuck in, they discovered that one bag was full of air, and the other

just had one crisp in it. Whoa. So a full one. They might have won some sort of competition without realizing it. Some sort of contest. It's just like, you then get to take over the factory. Do you guys remember the gray Skittles? Yeah.

I'd be like, we won something. Babe, we're not. The gray Skittles are a thing? Yeah, there was a gray Skittle thing in the 90s. If you got a gray Skittle, what'd you get? It's like, you needed a gray Skittle and then some other deal. And then you could send in, I don't know, you'd win a whole bunch of shit. Dan, is there a Willy Wonka thing?

Isn't gray Skittle what killed all those people on Game of Thrones? Scale. So close, though. A lot of people do that. A lot of people do that. People always jokingly complain about the crisp and air ratio in Walker's packets. So why are you buying them? Right.

People always like jokingly. I got a huge problem. They put too much air in these. And there are definitely some potato chip manufacturers that put a lot of air in there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. To make the bag seem bigger. There's like a quinoa, like a blue corn tortilla chip that they sell at Gelson's here.

The bag is completely clear. And I respect it because you look at it and you're messing around. This is 60% full. And I know exactly what I'm buying. You know what you're getting. There's no lie here. Honest brokerage. Snyder's mini pretzels, unsalted pretzels.

Sure. I think they put too many pretzels in there. Whoa. All the way to the top. There's no distance and air at the top. You open it, and you're like, oh, you're up in my business, pretzels. Stop. You're in my face.

It's like when a bartender. It's like a brick of sand. I always started to wear this when I bartended. It's like when a bartender i always started with this when i bartended it's like when a bartender gives you a drink that you're like oh i need to drink some of this on the bar like like an alcoholic dog yeah because you're like if i pick this up we're just it's just going to be just a like a blood trail of me turning around to go to the but like to me i literally will bend down and i'll be like all right i'm gonna drink some of this real quick this is how drunk you are here too if this tells you how drunk the person is who is trying to drink

it out of the cup without picking it up yeah do you do with your hands behind your back like you're bobbing for sure yes when you get done you go ta-da or you scoop or wash it over your face you treat it like a water well i got it uh no my thing is when i go to a bar and and a bartender without asking me is like i made it extra strong for you and i'm like sometimes you don't want i don't want it yeah you're projecting yeah i want the alcohol you wanted it yeah you want it sometimes that balance of whatever the mix is whatever is right i guess that makes it so the bartender code either of you guys ever a bartender no no so the bartender cut we never were nine years dan you did it but like the bartender code is like everyone's an alcoholic all right and everyone wants more everyone wants more so just

keep pouring it and that's my gift to you right or if you don't like him like dude dan i think a high noon is a little strong i love a good high noon dude i'll take a nooner all damn day oh my god i love it she wish it was high 9 a.m i get mad when i walk in they're like we do white claws i'm like cool you guys are selling seven dollar cans of malt liquor like essentially that's true i i when i started drinking white claws i was like yeah it's good for you it's seltzer yeah she's getting hydrated it's just old english she just malt fucking liquor that's why they can sell the gas station high noon we'd love to have you know what white claw i'll change everything i said if you want to sponsor us

uh fight for us fight between the two of you i'd like to see you fight to the death yeah if i can air in grievance too i think kettle think Kettle Chips has too much air. Too much air in a kettle chip. Thank you for having the guts to say that. Thank you for having the courage. Put your name on it, dude. That's huge. Right? But I do, if you want to sponsor.

Chad and Jakey. No, sponsor Dumb People Town, too. Our joint podcast sponsorship could be a tri-partnership. All right, so this is what she said, Mambala. We had Netflix on, and whilst Ralph went to get us a snack, that's a wild thing. He started shouting my name, saying I won't believe this. He started shaking the bag, and there was.

Like screaming for her. Shouting for her. Like that kitchen scene in Sixth Sense where all the cupboards are open. He's like freaking out. There's a poltergeist. Get in here. You got to see see that you won't believe this oh there was one by the way you won't believe this is like there's a dead mouse in there

you know what i mean you won't believe this is like one crisp like calm down how is this in the newspaper i'm with him this is like the last like he's had it it's just yeah it's michael douglas falling down this is the thing that sets me off. I've been betrayed by life enough. Now I'm on the warpath. How dare you? There's nothing but air! It's just air. It's all just air.

This would be in the buildup of Michael Douglas falling down. By the way, and this movie, if it starred Michael Douglas as Ralph, would be called Nothing But Air. Nothing But Air! Wow. So I started filming. We saw one singular crisp in there we were in stitches then we got to the second packet it was just air but you didn't pick it up and go man this feels like this feels like i'm hearing one single rattling he bought that's on the buyer

pack a little bit right no no he bought the six pack so it's probably encased in plassing he just picked it up and he doesn't know good defense so and the truth of the matter over overruled you definitely want to bring the like they opened it up and there was no bag so now you can't go back there and be like there was nothing in here i just went through this i bought a i bought a thing off of ebay and something told me i'm like video yourself opening it up that's right and i did and it was it was broke and i'm like hey i mean what do you like they had written like their name and it was it was broke and i'm like hey i mean what do you like they had written like their name or like a thank you deal and i'm like this is unwritten like you can't there's you can't have opened i couldn't have opened it already

so i think i did because this thing the tesco's express or whatever i mean your trader joe's whatever yeah so it pays to be nice to everyone and be cool with people so that they know you at the thing so that you can come back and be like yo man i get stuff here all the time this was completely empty and if they're good and cool they'll be like grab another one man yeah i also i don't want to like be a narc but we're malambato and ralph like a bit stony baloneyed when all this went down. It could have been so hot. They were watching the Squid Game reality show. Dude, there's no chips.

You ate those five minutes ago. That lines up too with his reaction of like, whoa. You're not going to believe this. We got to go back downstairs to the Tesco? This is a problem. In my world they live above the Tesco. They live right above it.

It's only one staircase. You're not going all the way back there. It's a solution. You're not going all the way back there. It's straight downstairs. The couple love a packet of crisps as a snack, but this incident has left them with some issues with walkers. Ralph said, the next day, I picked up a bag of Quavers.

I wasn't risking it again. Is there a more British name for chips? Get us some Quavers. What's going on with the. Is there a more British name for chips? What's going on with the chip game in England? Is it mayonnaise flavored? I got a bag of olives. Yeah. A bag of chips

with mayonnaise in it that you can just peel back and just dip in. I love mayonnaise. Mayonnaise on fries? What are we, belgium on everything dude i was thinking too yeah i thought they had trust issues because well yeah i thought ralph she was like did you go on a date eat the chips with your date and then seal it back he made it so much worse she's like who else are you dating yeah maybe i walked in there fucking housed all these and then was like you're not gonna believe this again it's so like the trust

is you should be between the two of them because they didn't discover it together he didn't videotape himself opening up you know or record himself opening up ralph doesn't even have a last name no yeah jesus how are you trusting guy with no last name he's a man of malambada it's left me with its trust issues with my favorite flavor of crisp all right i picked up the bag of air i was over it it had gone too far walkers it had gone too far too far guys they tried to push me before but now they've crossed my limit you i've gone too far walkers was approached for a comment but are yet to respond. I love it. What does Walkers have to say?

Keep your mouth shut, Walkers. Blame them. We will never. The first rule about these critics is we will never speak. We will never have a statement recorded on the record. The fact that this got reported. Yeah. Just the smallest inconvenience of your life.

You never think like, well, I'm going to go talk to Dallas. let's talk to the authority this article was written and then crw the reporter was called into the editor's office and was like you know why i called you here no no it's an article about the crisp okay what's the what's the problem what were they watching on tv i never does it matter or get on the phone and call them or he comes comes in and they're like, there's nothing in this article. And he's like, exactly. That's the point. I was trying to show you how frustrating it is to open something up and have nothing be there. Yeah.

There you go. Love that. That's it. Great show, friends. Oh, go ahead, brother. I commend Ralph for sticking with them for that long, though. Right? Yeah, this is one of the first.

It is. The couple that files a claim against walker's chips together stays together and then every time he walks into that tesco he's gonna see their their display their stuff right there and he'll see other people buying it he's gonna be like don't do it it's a knife in his heart every day that guy actually i don't buy that bet i wouldn't that. I saw a video of him opening it, too. Blimey! Yeah, for sure.

Got me. Again. Again. Anyway, all right, you guys, that is the show. That's what we do. It's Dumb People Town. Follow Chad and JT. Listen to their podcast.

It's on this network. Go see them live whenever they do. Daniel, see Daniel live, and come see us live. And oh, shit, guys, we've got to get back to work. Stick around. Make us down. And oh, shit, guys, we've got to get back to work.