Dumb People Town - Charles Greaves - This Waffle House Is Not A Waffle Home

Episode Date: September 3, 2021

This week Charles Greaves comes back to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. This week's story is about a waffle related bet.

Star Beans Avenue Hey townies, welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population you! Population Greaves! Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population Greaves. Charles Greaves, welcome to our Friday episode of Dumb People Town. How are you, man? I'm doing well, fellas. How are you guys doing? We're so good.

It's so good to see you. We're so happy to have you here in the light of day. We'll talk about how we know you and how we've become friends with you through a wonderful comedy show in LA, The Supernova Show. We'll talk about that later. Just to explain the setup right here, Daniel van kirk he was on the road he's a very responsible human being okay this is why we love dan depends on the context no well dan no dan cares about people so dan was on the road if dan was running for political office i would say dan van kirk cares about people and he will dan van cares dan van kirk will enter a fight between two people in front of a gelsons and try to figure out what's going on dan as for

those of you who were on the road and saw some of the amazing shows that dan has done this month amazing and he kind of slipped a bunch of them in before kind of the world has come crashing down but in an effort to be super safe dan is like even though he's negative everything's good quarantining himself in his own apartment just to make sure and so dan is there we are in the studio with charles and we figured let's just let's try and make this thing happen and i think we can do it we can do it we can do it we're gonna do that on a couple of these and we're just so happy that charles is here so let's jump into a story right away, Dan. Are you ready? Yes. Sent in by Josh Mout. M-O-U-A-T.

I've never figured it out. I know that once we said it right, I don't think I've ever said it right. M-O-U-A-T sounds like this sounds like the name that Stephen Avery's dad would just walk around the house. It's that Mout kid. Yeah. It's the way a Wisconsin person says, I'm out. Mout. Mout. I i'm gonna say that that's not a real name yeah no we it might not be a real name it sounds like stage name m a it sounds like

let's get all the vowels in there yeah uh jay mount we tried all right here we go sent it in fantasy football isn't real hence the name but it can have real-life consequences. Lee Sanderlin. Lee Sanderlin. I'm not saying they currently sell cars, but at some point in their life has sold a car. Lee Sanderlin Ford? Where'd you get that Eclipse?

Where'd you get your Eclipse, Charles? Did you get it at Lee Sanderlin Ford? Lee Sanderlin. Lee Sanderlin. Oh, you just got to it from his house. I got it directly from him. Like auto finder. Auto finder Lee Sanderlin go to his house.

He's got a whole lot behind his house. So he doesn't have a lot, but he calls his own auto finder Lee Sanderlin Mitsubishi. Lee Sanderlin Mitsubishi. Lee Sanderlin knows firsthand about the pain that can come with a last place fantasy football finish. Sanderlin knows firsthand about the pain that can come with a last place fantasy football finish. Sanderlin, a journalist for the Clarion Ledger in Jackson, Mississippi, finished last. Can we really call him a journalist?

You said everything you needed to say right there. Charles said you said everything you needed to say. Mississippi was boom. That's all we need to know. We know something stupid is about to happen. He's going to break something of his own. This punishment is genius, also not that bad. Right.

But could, like the variables of how bad it could go, it's a wide range. Ready for his punishment? I can't wait. He had to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. Oh, God. I know. With one hour subtracted for each waffle that he could eat, which means I would be in a waffle house about 30 minutes. Right.

You're going to try and eat 24 waffles in 30 minutes and get out. How much time do you want to spend in a waffle house before you get stabbed? Have you eaten? That's right. Charles, have you been to a waffle house? I have not been to a waffle house. I think one time I've been to a Waffle House? I have not been to a Waffle House. I think one time I've been to a Waffle House. I went once and I was like, I ordered hash browns and I said, these are not potatoes.

There is no way in the world that what this is. Someone went in the back and just grated a sponge and that's what we're eating. The floor at a Waffle House is always sticky. It always is sticky. The one time I went, I lost a shoe because i think it's stuck and you're still there and i was like even the carpet you got a carpet and his friends it was like the end of like an action movie they're like leave it charles just go i i just went to a waffle house when i was on this last run of shows oh you did where were you the waitress goes you're gonna sit right there

at that table and i i did there you go i swear to god i'm not exaggerating that was exactly she goes you're gonna sit right there at that table like as though i was late for dinner and my step are you gonna argue are you gonna argue with her i did not no no you do not oh my god not man you see where she tells you stories been there three times every time was insane um okay like dan if you told me that like two of the three times you went to a Waffle House, you saved someone's life, I'd be like, yeah. Well, one of the times I was at a Waffle House, I started talking to this waitress about her tattoos,

and I go, what's the hourglass tattoo for? And she looked at me and goes, perfect answer. She goes, that's for all the time i'll never get back oh my god what about the time spent on the tattoo yeah right there's some time you won't get back jesus the time you spent getting that tattoo and if you told me that you were at a waffle house and you watched a woman have a baby and then the guy who did the babe made the baby with her broke up with her within like 10 minutes of the baby being born, I'd be like, yeah.

Yeah. I'd be like, but you'd be like, was she a good waitress? You were going to sit right there, baby. Okay. How many? He ended up eating how many waffles? I want you guys to get your guesses in now, and then we will figure it out by the end of this.

How many waffles? he has to be there for 24 hours. He gets an hour deducted for every waffle that he eats. So once he eats 24, he's gone. Yes. Or he stays for 20. 14 hours. I'm going to say he

ate 8 waffles. I'm going to say it was like tremendously disappointing. Like 5. 5 from Jason Sklar. 13. 13. Okay. ate eight waffles okay i'm gonna say it was like tremendously disappointing like five five from jason sclar 13 13 okay we'll get into this here we go ready yep it started innocently enough but with a decidedly ominous tone sanderlin knew what lay ahead of him he tweeted out i'm coming to you live from brandon mississippi waffle house i'm sorry let me take that back he said i'm coming to you live from a brandon mississippi waffle house how many houses does brandon mississippi have five must be like sabaro's in new york yeah it's a it's mississippi yeah

you're gonna get a few everyone has one in their house it's like the fast and furious uh movie series it's like whatever you're like really there series. It's like whatever. You're like, really? There's nine? There's going to be a tent? It's like they couldn't. It's like the Mitsubishi dealerships. Yeah, out of their houses. Out of a house. Out of a house.

That's it. He said, every waffle I eat shaves an hour off the clock. And here is a photo. This is a picture. The first one he tweeted out of the Waffle House. For anybody who looks at Facebook, this is what a Waffle House looks like. That floor looks sticky. That floor does not look clean.

By the way, those chairs are not comfortable. No, they don't want you to stay. They're like from the set of a 1970s version of the play Cabaret. But I love the light fixtures. That's a diner thing for me.

It's stuck. Those chairs are stuck to the floor they are stuck to the floor and it has nothing to do with like the fact that they stuck them there that is just because the floors are that sticky i'm surprised at how much light is coming into this this place all right moving on because you usually can't see two waffles in the first hour but it got much harder from there managed at one and he tweeted out an hour and 10 into it two more waffles and one human who is dead inside and this is what the guy looks like i will show him to you now he's essentially a southern andrew santino that's right he's southern that is those waffles are huge so one waffle is just that huge it's the entire plate guys how many waffles do you think you could eat in 24 hours?

I swear to God I could eat at least 15. No way. 24 hours? I could probably eat like 12. I would eat one an hour, and I could probably eat 12, and that's it. Well, that'd be one every other hour. I feel like some parts of my body wouldn't work after a while. Oh, well.

You're going to find out that he's an idiot. Four waffles down, he said. Been here for one and a half hours. So that's not bad. He's four waffles and one and a half hours. He's doing well. He's doing well. So that means I have 18 and a half to go.

I'm already in immense discomfort. Settle down. Please somebody launch me into the sun. Then he tweeted out this photo of him finishing up his waffle. Look at that plate. He's putting syrup on it getting it down he's getting it down getting it done and he said immense so yeah he's using a vocabulary that is larger than what we expect journalist vocabulary he's a journalist that's true he then says two kids picking eye of the tiger on touch tunes got sanderlin ready for his fifth waffle but then he started to hit a wall i

love that there's kids trolling i said five wow i said five dan so you're saying he hit a waffle wall there you go you're my waffle wall he thought he could do more but then he started waffling officially stuck in neutral he tweeted out need to find that extra gear and push through this waffle thoughts and prayers please and then he tweeted this photo out. Thoughts and prayers is funny. I like how serious he's taking his thoughts and prayers. Have you used thoughts and prayers ever, Charles? Never.

To anyone? No. Even if they're sick? No, I want to do thoughts and prayers. Give him a waffle. Thoughts and prayers. I'm thinking of you. Bitch, do something.

Do something. Right. I'd like to tell our listeners for our audio format show, everything will be up on Facebook for sure. You can see all the photos. But also, all you're missing out on is just like grandma plates and waffles. You're not. Just whatever you're picturing is exactly what it is.

Would you guys agree? Overhead shot of waffles. Overhead shot of a waffle that is like three-fourths eaten, two-thirds eaten. He said at 7.07 Central Time, three hours, 4.7 waffles down so many hours to go yeah i'm gonna ask you guys at 4.75 waffles how long do you think it took him to eat the last quarter of to get to five waffles right how long did it take him to eat that you've seen this guy you know that he likes to use the word immense. Some kids are playing Eye of the Tiger.

You know what the Waffle House looks like. He has to get psyched up for it. Yeah. I like that they're playing in the Eye of the Tiger. How long did they stay to cheer him on? Because they were like, I can't do this anymore. Right. They probably couldn't hang in as long as-

Eye of the Tiger, not a good song choice. I would have gone with Twisted Sisters, Stay Hungry. You know what I mean? That's good. Eat It by Weird Al Yankovic would have been great. Perfect. So how long do you think? Hungry Like the Wolf?

There you go. I'm going to say it took him another 45 minutes to get that down. Oh, no. You know what? Hour and a half to get that down. Okay. So here's the hour and a half. I'm going to say two more hours to get that last quarter in.

I'm going to say five hours hours to get that last quarter in. I'm going to say five hours. Okay. So five from Randy. What did you say, Jay? I said two hours. Two hours? And you said you landed on an hour and a half, right, Charles? An hour and a half to get the rest of that down.

Okay. All right, we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we're going to find out how long it takes this man to eat a quarter of a waffle after he'd already had four or just over four and a half, to be fair. And then we'll find out everything that we're up to, everything I'm not up to anymore. And then everything Charles has going on. We'll be right back after this. Suspense.

Right after this. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Charles Greaves is our guest. We know him from the great show Supernova.

He's a fantastic young comic doing his thing. And Supernova is an amazing show that kind of emerged out of nowhere in a beautiful way in Los Angeles. Dan, you should do that show for sure. Yeah, you'd be great on that show. It is so fun. It's outdoors. It's kind of in the most unlikely place, the weirdest part of Hollywood right there,

but it's behind kind of Hollywood Boulevard and between three buildings, there are huge movie screens out on the sides of the buildings that are playing like incredible space shots. As someone, Howie Mandel said, I feel like I just got launched in space with Jeff Bezos, which I thought was funny.

Perfect. And it is just the atmosphere outside. It's usually completely packed outdoors. So you feel safe and the vibe around the vibe in there. The audiences that come are just amazing. So you've built a beautiful show. May I say, well, thank you. It's not only just amazing. So you've built a beautiful show, may I say. Well, thank you.

It's not only just me. It's me and my partners. But it was a lot of hard work. But we got it done. And we're fortunate for it. It's been a blessing. So I'm grateful for it. For us, too.

So you've gotten a chance to work a ton with people. You have a manager now, which is awesome. Our buddy Dave. I did. Dave Rath. He's one of the best in the biz and one of the funniest people out there. to work a ton with people you have a manager now which is awesome our buddy i did dave rath yeah one of the best in the biz and one of the funniest people out there uh it speaks to and dan we said this to you remember years ago we said dan you should just you're so good at creating premises on through the podcast i'm like you should do stand-up and dan like got on his own did it and

he just literally in in hopes you you did the first part of it but booked a 55 city tour of headlining stand-up shows all over in clubs and cool rock clubs and whatnot and that's just due to your hard work of being like i'm gonna go out and do it and then you guys set the show up and it like look at all the good that comes from it yeah seriously it was you know what here's the crazy part so my partner mark um I had worked on him with shows on shows before. And he's like, you know, he's like, I don't understand what's going. Cause I, he, I would always do his shows. He's like, I don't understand how, how you're not getting booked more and how you're not bigger.

And I was like, oh, you know, I don't know what to say. I don't know how to answer that question. And he was like, I got to get you on something big so people can know who you are. Very generous. Yeah, he was. He put me on a lot of shows. And he would have me follow tough acts. Yeah, you get better.

And he's like, you know, because he's like nobody. People would argue. Like, I'm not going behind him. And he's like, Charles, just go. And he's like, Charles can handle it. Charles, go. Charles, go. So I would always go behind like Dia and stuff at at the improv so i'm going behind

these big acts and he's like people are gonna notice you and he's like you know but he's like we need to do a show together and that will get people you know you'll get more favors that way and people will put you on their shows and yada yadaada. That's the way it works. Yeah. So we did a show together at the write-off room in Woodland Hills. That was popping for a minute. Then obviously the pandemic happened. And then this popped up. They approached him and they were like, can you put this together? And he was like, yeah, but I got to have my partner Charles.

We need to have this guy in here. Super cool. And the rest was, you've seen it, so you guys have been there. Book amazing people. I mean, you can be on a show and see Anthony Jeselnik, Pete Holmes, see us, Nick Kroll, and Segura. All in one night.

It's just insane. And so audiences pay top dollar to be there. The lineups are amazing. You always mix in new talent too which is great and it's just you know it's been it's been a joy for us to do so well it's been it's been a pleasure to have you guys on um the last time we had done a show together was before the pandemic we were at the comedy store together right and that was like i don't want to maybe probably second or third time i had met you guys. But it was like very quick and passing.

And I'm like, dude, I really like those dudes. And then Mark was like, you know, like, oh, we'll have them on at the ride off room. Boom. Right off. Like everything went to shit. And then, boom, we have the supernova. And I was like, we got to get the scholars back. We got to get scholars back.

Finally got you guys on. And it's been. It's one of the rooms we do now on a regular basis. We do a good room and dan you know you speak about you've been out in the wilderness doing shows uh how has that been by the way oh the crowds were just phenomenal the shows were the best it was just all the stuff extra that made it kind of stressful as sure numbers traveling sorry but yeah no it was it was amazing man like seeing all the townies and people coming out to shows for whether it was kansas city or lincoln or or where was i lincoln or uh cedar rapids or chicago or

milwaukee madison nashville louisville cincinnati cleveland they were just everybody was great it was awesome you had hilarities in cleveland yeah hilarities in cleveland i love headlining that room it's a club it's one of the best clubs in the country, man. They're just hands down. And so happy. They're surviving. Nick over there is phenomenal. He runs that club.

Yeah. So, so the plan for you though, you are, again, you're sort of coming off the road and you're just going to wait till things die down. And,

and all the people who have tickets for your shows will be able to redeem those when you reschedule those. Yeah. Yeah. And then hopefully high planes will still happen. I'll still be doing that. I think they are going every single person like audience member as well as performer has to be vaxxed i think they might go mass as well so you know that's like an environment that adam kate and holland and those guys control so well and

obviously are so smart and responsible so i think that i'll still be able to do high planes which is great it's just everything else i think will just hold off until the spring. But I promise it'll still be worth it. It'll be worth it because Dan will come your way. And we just want to mention our Patreon page again. We do new episodes of Cheap Seats, our show that we haven't made new episodes in 15 years, and we just started making them on our own.

It's Cheaper Seats. So much fun. Really fun. Really fun. I mean, we've shot five of them, released two of them. We're about to,

in like two weeks, release another one. It's just so much fun. So you can join that page. You go to patreon.com, look up Sklar Brothers, and there's extra stuff from our podcast.

We do an extra sort of weekly pod just for you guys, a video pod. So all good stuff. Please do that. And then we've got some dates that they're still on the books, I guess. We're kind of like.

Yeah, so we're going to Moon Tower Comedy Festival. Which I think will probably be much like what Dan said. High Plains in that they'll be super. Vigilant. Yeah, super vigilant about who's getting into what shows, audience, and obviously comics too. So that's happening September 23rd through the 25th. And then Ann Arbor, Michigan. We doing uh the ann arbor comedy showcase the club that we all kind of helped you know save with a fundraiser which was amazing uh so that's the 22nd 23rd friday and saturday

which dan you'll be there on your next when you go back out you're gonna make it happen but uh obviously won't not for this go-around but it looks like next time for sure and and then we just got booked at the Crocodile which is in Seattle which is a really cool rock club so we're doing that

the weekend before Thanksgiving and then in December we'll be in the Tempe Improv the 10th through the 12th and then in February

at the DC Comedy Loft all good stuff supersclash.com you can find that out so when we left Dan there was a waffle house. He was at 4.75 waffles.

So far, he had shaved that off of his time. Remember, he loses an hour for every waffle that he eats. Here's how long. To finish the last quarter of waffle number five, it took him

over an hour. Charles Greaves. Charles, you charles charles for ft dubs yes wow take it he then said waffle number six and i'm eagerly staring into the abyss i hope for it to end also four hours down now he finally finished waffle number six more than two hours after he'd order it that's might be the grossest part of this whole story so it just sits there on a plate that's a cold ass waffle cold breakfast is always sad you're going through a divorce or a breakup cold like cold breakfast things have derailed in your life it's never good with cold breakfast no unless it's supposed to be unless it's cereal but even then it's soggy by the way i think you that could be the new uh

motto for all a new theme for all waffle houses that's a cold ass waffle in a good way in a good way here's my thing though this guy ends up being the dumbest part of the story to me why would you just you're not going anywhere don't order another waffle until you're gonna eat it until you're ready sound like they're like we need the space so so so dan what you're going to eat it. Until you're ready. It's not like they're like, we need the space. So, Dan, what you're saying is eat four waffles, wait four hours, eat four waffles. Yes. Right. So that's six.

That's 12 hours down out the window. 12 hours out the window. And yeah, so four plus eight. So you're 12 hours down. Wait another four hours. Right. And you'll be at 16 hours and then four more waffles i feel like you're telling me a riddle jay yeah i don't understand this are there

any stipulations any rules like what does he like can he not go to the bathroom okay ready here great call charles greece because here's he finally finished waffle number six two hours after he ordered it then he went outside to vomit in the bushes thankfully he said he wasn't being penalized for vomit breaks why wouldn't you just eat 10 go throw up that's right go throw up by the way throwing up in the bushes was like a strange improvement on the landscaping at the wall at the wall house yeah these bushes look really sparse and then like a woman probably laid down in fertilizer it's fertilizer yeah she's there was like a drunk woman at like 10 in the morning who's been drinking all night he's throwing up in the bush and like anyone who's walking by like he's fine he's fine he's fine but what's he doing guys am i am i crazy none of you respond to this why

wouldn't you just eat 10 or 12 waffles and then go throw up? I agree. I mean, I think forcefully throwing up is kind of tough on some people. Yeah, that's fair. That's true. That's fair. Yeah, you don't want to develop a disorder. That's right. It comes when it comes. He tweeted out after the Ago's quick little trip to the bushes outside,

if you know what I'm saying, now back into the breach. And this is the photo he tweeted out with that. Look at him. No, that sounds like somebody who's done it before. So maybe you're right. now back into the breach and this is the photo he tweeted out with that look at him oh no that sounds like somebody who's done it before so maybe you're right he should have been taking throw-up breaks more often right he seems scheduled those yeah boy man back into the breach he says it's our seven where we stand six waffles consumed 11 remain inside are in shambles. This is not that bad. Six waffles, guys.

I mean, it's a waffle house. Six waffles. Six. Six and seven. Two at a time. That's right. Thank you. Like a sandwich, whatever.

Just power through it. He said, two kind Mississippians came into the waffle house and gave me some Rolaids. Shout out to those people. Your boy is in pain. I don't think this guy really knows what pain is, first of all. I don't think Rolaids are your best bet. How are you going to have heartburn from sweet bread? Who also has Rolaids on their person?

Who? Like, that is, I mean, it's Mississippi. It is, but I mean. So Rolaids, like, if you have Rolaids on those people, those Rolaids, the thing has been open for a while. It's been in their pants on the top one. Right. We're talking loose Rolaids in someone's pocket. Or did it come in one of those giant packs like Tums?

Right. Like a giant bottle. Like a giant bottle. We eat it like Tic Tacs. You chew them. Ben had a one-line tweet a couple hours later that said, full of waffles but devoid of life. Which might be his book.

Also could be the new theme of the Waffle House. Right. That's the Mississippi version of eat, pray, love. Totally. There it is. Totally. Here's another. Ready for this?

This is why his league is soft. After spending a few hours in his car to recharge his phone, something the rules allowed him to do. No. I wouldn't even have given him his phone, which I understand he needed to tweet this whole saga. He needed to live tweet it. You don't get to go chill in your car for a few hours.

No. This isn't bad. You have people anticipating your waffle demise. Let's go here. If you go up to the front of a Waffle House and say, do you guys have a charger? They'd be like, a Dodge charger? There's no way they would know what you meant. We have a charger for a Dell computer.

True story. That's the one. Second time I was in a Waffle House, guy behind me sitting with his girlfriend. They weren't same-siding it. They were in the booth behind me across from each other. He asked if anybody had an iPhone charger. Because like being on the road and going to the club and everything i had like a charger with me jay you know this you take an advantage of it so many

times with your constantly sure and it's a very long cord yeah i give it to him he promptly charges his phone turns it on then gets on the phone and starts loudly making death threats to people on the phone. And then the waitress was like, are you happy with what you did? I go, I'm not to blame. I didn't want to kill people. You gave him the juice he needed to go out and make death threats. I told you that was the time I was playing tennis just on a public tennis court at Riverside near the 5 Freeway with my friend Bill. a public tennis court at Riverside near the five freeway with my friend Bill. And all of a sudden this guy in just white socks,

like a guy with a swastika on his neck, just sat down and started charging his phone. Like there was a plug in the court where we were and just sat down on our court and just started charging his phone. You got to play around that. Wow. You got to play around it. Wow.

I suddenly start serving left hard. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Oh, man. Okay. So he goes to his car. around that wow you got to play around it wow i suddenly start serving left hard yeah exactly exactly oh man swastika okay so he goes to his car then he says he tweets out we've entered peak boredom hours all the staff went this is what i love this might be my favorite part we've entered peak boredom hours so at this point i imagine it's like three or four in the morning he says all the staff went out for their smoke breaks the waffle house doesn't feel like a waffle home with no one here only at waffle house does everyone leave and they leave him in there to go smoke at the same time you watch the entire staff there's i don't his foot is probably i see at the top of his shoe that's probably on a table dude but what do they care

he's currently clocked in he's the only person working i guarantee you i'm looking in the corner none of this the clicks on the straps on the high chairs work none of them like they're all broken they're all there's no hope there's no hope they will be i feel like they have those yellow whatever those yellow things are like just please step here. That's the only way you're going to make it out. Are those drains? I think they're drains. Because they probably just hose the whole place down once a month. For a second, Dan, I was like, wait, they're being socially conscious.

They're saying six feet distance between those are stickers on the floor. No. Maybe they are. Are those real flowers, Dan, in the vase? Or they're definitely like fake flowers the vase isn't even real it's all an illusion thank you yeah this freaking place he finally finished all right what was our final guess here for how many waffles he got down oh jay you said four charles wood i said five i said you said. I think I said eight. I said 13.

That's right. You said 13. Okay. I said five. Charles is looking a lot better here. Charles is already one for one, I know. Okay. So, I lost my spot here, but I promise I'll find it.

Okay. Okay. Okay. He finishes another waffle. Then he comes up with a plan to get himself out of there just no one even has worked no one's gonna know if you even left no one's gonna know right yeah this isn't oceans 11 dude but first of all there are people who like said they ran the new york marathon and like got into the subway and drove and showed up at the end like i tell them i when i was trying

to coach my daughter into sleeping in her own room for a while at the end like i tell him i when i was trying to coach my daughter into sleeping in her own room for a while i would be like i'll sleep in here with you tonight and as soon as she went to sleep i go back in my bed and then i wake up right before morning and i show up and i'm like i was here all night like that's what you do in this situation you have to check on your ass check so he finishes his his waffle seventh waffle then he comes up with a plan to get out he says it's 407 a.m i have five hours to go which i don't he okay i don't think that time checks out but what i feel like the math is off the math is off math is off he's all out of this college football podcast he's been listening to and the crossword he says he's doing is met at best at six i'm gonna order more waffles and try to get them down try to get them down wow okay

that could be that could describe most marriages he says at 305 a.m i have four hours left the plan here is to order waffles and get out of here, the amount of waffles that he ate in a 24-hour period is nine waffles. Whoa! Charles, I was close. You were so close, man. Congratulations, you win that one.

I spend a lot of time watching people eat waffles. That's my thing. I know what this guy can get down. Yeah, we should. I mean... I know what this guy can get down. Yeah, we should... I mean, I'm half impressed. Why? Nine... Randy, you can eat nine waffles right now.

I think his immune system is compromised just from eating nine waffles. Dan, I used to be able to eat nine waffles. I think Jenny Craig has shrunk my stomach. Dan, there was a time we told you we would go to Taco Bell and order 10 tacos. Then throw them right back up. The sun is rising.

It's a new day. I'm never eating waffles again. That's nine waffles and 15 hours in this restaurant. Shout out to the staff for letting me hang out on a slow night. I tipped them well. Don't worry. This was horrible, and I recommend no one ever ever do this i'm glad he said he tipped them well because i was very concerned i would have loved that too me too because he did take

up their time and there was a person there they had to worry about i don't think it changed their attitude or the things that they did on any other night still hated him i imagine they got jumped into gangs right in front of the cashier no one one cared. How many gang initiations happen at a Waffle House? Probably hundreds. I've worked at restaurants since I was 16 years old. We hate everyone. That's right.

It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter who you are. Unless you tip big. Unless you tip big and shut up. Right. If you're a fun customer, then it's like, all right, let this guy come in.

Other than that, we hate you. We don't even have to know you. I'll mess with you if you tip big. That's what it is. That's all it really is. That's it. You took up their table for how many hours was he there? He was there 15 hours.

15 hours. You better tip per hour what it would have been. Yes, because you're taking up. Grant, no one was there, but you took up that table for 15 hours. I would say to the waiter. How many customers would have come through? Exactly. What do you normally make on a tip night? And I'm going to beat that so you walk out of here feeling good.

So if you normally make $75 on a tip night, that's what you usually make in tips. And when they're $100, I'll beat it by $25. And it's like, you have to. You have to say like, I wonder if the paper paid for it. You double it whatever it is The paper he got embedded

In a waffle house That's how we do it I love it I was hating on this guy for a little bit But I'll give him credit That's pretty good Mississippi Santino we give you some credit That's the story my friends There you go so Charles Greaves

How do people follow you on social? Oh, you can find me, IamCharlesGreaves on Instagram, CharlesGreavesComedy on Twitter, same thing on Facebook. And SupernovaComedy.com if you ever are in L.A. and you want to get tickets. You guys are doing like, what, 12 shows a week, 15? Oh, my God. So it's like, it's dependent.

It fluctuates. Yeah, it fluctuates But probably like Five days a week Yeah Wednesday through Sunday So we are on this show A lot And we love this show Dan Van Kirk

Will be on this show I'm assuming Oh yeah we'll get Dan When you come back in town buddy Yeah And when you're Out of your Self imposed quarantine

Which we appreciate Fans we love you We'll see you on our Patreon And Oh yeah if you want to hear A story from Charles Greaves A dumb story that Happened to him in his life

We said Do you have any dumb stories He said how much time you got So join the Patreon Of Dumb People Town Patreon You'll hear a great story with that And oh shit We gotta get back to work

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