Dumb People Town - Chris Estrada - Church Burglar

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

Comedian and actor Chris Estrada (This Fool on Hulu) stops by as Daniel describes a couple on their first date that broke into a church to play the piano, Jason explains why a court spectator was jailed for laughing at the jury during a tax fraud trial, and Randy regales about a man arrested for DUI with Boris Johnson's drivers license, and so much more!

Dan and Ren and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Armand Dan And don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk. That's when the music gets the funny hits. We are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound.

Up or down, it's Dumb People Town. Hey, Tatties, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population Estrada. Chris Estrada is with us, dude. Thanks for thanks for being here man such a fan of yours we got you guys just hang out with you you did our tagging show at the store a lot of fun you were amazing dude this guy hit the stage with such energy you came at the perfect time in the show and you just crap and fire crush city yeah that was a lot of fun it was just fun to it was such a fun show to do and then for you guys to come up and give us tags and like it's collaborative it's a very unique show and it's very i feel like that's the way you operate in the comedy world too

i mean look you have an amazing show on hulu oh thanks that is so good collaborative with so many great people but that's kind of your vibe though you like to work with other people i do i even writing jokes like a lot of the comics i came up with occasionally we don't do it as often anymore but we will meet at like a diner and perfect and we used to put on a timer we used to put on if it was four of us we do 15 minutes each oh shit and then just be like what are you working on what are you working on that's who this guy is yeah and then we'd be like, what are you working on? What are you working on? Oh, that's awesome. That's who this guy is. Yeah. And then we'd be like, oh, what about this? Or what if you say it that direction? So it's like, I love it. That's the essence of that show.

Yeah. Which is kind of the essence of this podcast, too. Like, we all have a steering wheel. We can all go driving. And the world is dumber. And we have stories. And Dan's going to get into it. Ready?

Yeah, let's do one. This was sent in by Brew Pounder, at Brew Pounder. Thanks, bud. Thanks so much for sending it. Or it could be a woman. I don't know. C Brew Pounder, at Brew Pounder. Thanks, bud. Thanks so much for sending it. Or it could be a woman. I don't know. CCH Pounder. Couple on first date breaks into church to play piano.

It's a great first date. You're either having a wild, insane night, or you're the most wholesome criminals. Or your boyfriend is Billy Joel. Or Julio Iglesias. Julio Iglesias. Julio Iglesias. No, but Billy Joel, he's like, I'll do it, I'll do it, but I'm only playing River of Dreams. I'm only playing River of Dreams.

That's not a good town. And Easter Alexa. I'm an angry young man. What a day. I mean, whose idea was that? That's a dude idea. That's a dude idea. That's a dude idea.

Because there's no exit strategy. No woman is like, hey, what are we doing tonight? Do you want to break into this church and do what? Play piano? Deep cut for Sklar fans. This takes place in Hendersonville, Tennessee. Henderson. WKRN.

A couple's first date in Hendersonville, Tennessee turned into a church burglary and then a trip to jail. By the way, church burglar is a great like like indie rock band yeah ska ska band the burglar really you could hear that bass and the horns a lot of bass driven a lot of horns yeah a lot of checkered vans yes a lot of can i say this is a genuine question do you think ska will ever come back totally i into Into mainstream? I know on some level it'll never go away. In the way that it used to be, that like real big fish Ska. Yeah.

Real big fish. I think it will. You think it will. So the fun of the- Goldfinger, real big fish. Right. Mighty Mighty Boss Jones. Mighty Mighty Boss Jones.

Great song. Great songwriters. That is such the impression that I get. That song. Phenomenal. And they had a guy who just danced in the band. He didn't sing. He didn't play an instrument. He was skanking. Just a guy skanking on stage, man. I love. Phenomenal. And they had a guy who just danced in the band. He didn't sing. He didn't play an instrument.

He was skanking. He just skanked. This guy's skanking on stage, man. I love that. Mustard plug. Mustard plug, that's right. Sock with bats. Could you argue that Sublime bridged the gap between ska and reggae?

I mean, no doubt in rock. And Sublime. No doubt it was a ska band. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think Sublime really bridged that.

I think Sublime was the one that you're like, it was the cool one. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think Sublime really bridges that. I think Sublime was the one that you're like, it was the cool one. Right. Like, you know. Dangerous. Dangerous. Yeah. From Long Beach. Long Beach.

Rugs. Dogs. You got a dog running around. Dalmatians. That's good. Right. Okay. Turn into a church burglar.

That's right. Police in Hendersonville said the two people were on a first date when they broke into the Indian Lake Peninsula Church at around what time Thursday morning? Real quick. When do you think they're doing this? They're on a date. On a Thursday. Breaking into a church on a Thursday. 2 a.m. What do you think? I like to imagine that they got

hammered and they went Sunday morning thinking it was Saturday morning. Where is everybody? You guys are on dates too? Everybody's dressed so nice. Did everybody guess? I didn't guess.

I think this happened at four in the morning. They'd broken around 1250 AM. Wow. Okay. Thursday morning. Still part of the night. The couple confessed to the crime. Police said claiming they broke into the church because they wanted to play the piano and thought a church might have one they could use

that checks out it's good that logic checks out yeah no no here's what he said i want to get you somewhere where you can mess with my organ she didn't understand and now they're in a church and now they're playing the church organ it's like this isn't what i had in mind uh surveillance a christian bad boy yeah like a youth pastor gone wild yes hey did you see that documentary about the crazy oh the crit that's oh i just thought if you guys have watched pastors gone wild no hill song documentary have you seen that yet no i haven't yes oh i mean it's a he was like the rock star he was like a rock justin bieber's pastor yes i've heard of this guy okay you know that guy and he was like a rock star. Justin Bieber's pastor. Yes, I've heard of this guy. Okay, you know that guy.

And he was like his crazy downfall. But then his kind of, it's an interesting, it's a crazy. And they used him and he enjoyed it. Oh, they used him in such a bad way. Those Australians who were like part of the old. Surveillance footage from outside the church shows the two pulling up to the church in a, sometimes you just know things about people based on what they drive, 2004 Ford Mustang. Oh, shit. All right. So glory days. 20-year-old Ford Mustang. Oh, shit. All right.

So glory days. 40-year-old Ford Mustang. Souped up. Yeah. Oh, Siri's talking to me. The male can be seen with a surprised smile on his face when they try the door and find it unlocked. Okay.

I don't want to blame the victim here, but I know you're a church. Yeah. You still have to lock the door. Lock the doors. Right? Lock know you're a church. Yeah. You still have to lock the door. Lock the door. Right? Right. Lock the door.

Yes. Thank you. Yeah. Do you remember when the crazy floods, obviously the floods happened in, was in Houston? Yeah. Hurricane Henry. And Joel Osteen. Joel Osteen.

Who like his. Mega church. Mega church. Which took over, which they met. Former Houston. Where the Rockets used to play basketball. That's right. And we went up to it to like, see this mega church which you took over which they met where the rockets used to play basketball that's right so we and we went up to it to like see this mega church they would not take in any i'm like this is the point at which you allow people to sleep that's what a church is for you set up

lost their houses this is an arena and then there was like a dude like max the mattress king he stepped in he stepped in i knew a comic from Houston, really funny guy named Barry Laminack, and he has a joke about that, how Osteen didn't step in, but the mattress king did. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Now who do you believe in? Right.

The mattress king. The mattress king. Shout out mattress king. Yeah. After entering the church, they stayed to play the piano for how many minutes? How long do you think they were in there, friends? 45 minutes. What do you think, Chris? I'm going? 45 minutes. What do you think, Chris?

I'm going to say 30. Okay. I think 120 minutes. One of you is exactly right. They were in there for 30 minutes. Both subjects admitted to detectives that they were looking for a piano to play because they both play the piano. They knew churches had pianos, so they were looking for an unlocked church to play a piano just say you're drunk how many times yeah like how drunk are they just you know how drunk they are by the amount of times they say piano yeah yeah yes they say piano three times four

times i say piano four times in that we're looking for a place at a p-paced piano i play piano i play piano don't you play piano tell me you play piano? You have pianos. Tell him that you play piano. So we wanted to find a church to have. Oh, you don't get it? A piano. Hilarious. But you're right. They need to lock their doors.

I'm just saying overnight, okay? Like, you are. Sure. You can open it. Don't be so trusting. Right. This is all said by detectives. This is what I want to say to churches.

Be more cynical. Stephen Fry of the Hendersonville Police. Police in Hendersonville, Tennessee said the couple admitted to, quote, acting dumb. Police said the two also stole four Bibles and two drumsticks when they left. I'm hoping ice cream.

I know it's not, but I want it. Do you want it to be a little ice cream thing? It's a cone with the nuts and the chocolate. Four Bibles. I mean, two Bibles. Yeah, how four Bibles? I mean, two Bibles? Yeah, how many Bibles do you need? Four Bibles. And what I would just say is we weren't stealing these,

we were borrowing these, and we just wanted to spread the good word. Well, so a family friend of ours owned the Christian bookstore Glory B, RIP Glory B. Glory B. And if they ever had someone in there that they thought were shoplifting or like stealing Bibles, they just let them. Because they were like, if that person needs this religion or feels a place that that's what they want to believe in, we're going to like arrest them for wanting to be Christian.

Did you go to church as a kid? We grew up like Catholic, but my mom was like, growing up, my mom was like, we're poor. We have to work. We don't need to go to church. Okay. We need the hours. We need the hours. We need the hours.

The Valley? You grew up in the Valley? No, I grew up in South Central. South Central. That's right. That's right. That's right. But this is like the good-natured version of those black metal kids.

Do you know these in Sweden? Yeah. Wait, no, I don't know this at all. All these heavy metal, black metal kids. That's right. They were into black metal. They were burning churches in sweden yeah wait no i don't know all these like heavy metal black metal kids like that's right they were into like black metal they were burning churches in the 90s yeah oh this sounds familiar yeah they made a movie of it called words of chaos it was a documentary too yeah this is the very good natured version yeah right yeah they're like what we're just playing it i mean we just really want to move the drum kit around okay so the

drumsticks is the worst part about this the b. The Bibles. That's going to piss off a 70-year-old man in about eight hours. I put them in the cubby hole. I know where they are. They steal four Bibles and two drumsticks. A surveillance video shows the female picking up a church collection plate. Police

say she took it as a souvenir. Okay. That you should not be taking the church collection play yeah leave that they're also off of that thing they're also heard on surveillance camera talking about their shock at discovering a piano based on what you said why are you shocked oh my god babe literally here it is this is the exchange also they were wasted they were can i remind you this is a first date first date yes first Yes. First date. Blind date, do you think? Your family into Christmas? You know, the couple that gets arrested together stays together forever.

That's a great point. Right up until one gets taken to booking and the other is, yeah. Until they throw each other under the bus into interrogation. Here's the exchange from the female. I found a piano. This is what they said on camera. I'm so shocked we found one at the first church. I know, right? Are there? And there are so many more churches I was ready to go to. piano this is what they said on the camera i'm so shocked we found one at the first church i know

right are there and there are so many more churches i was ready to go to oh my god by the way i know right is i you we've all said i know right is this guy being like are we going to get together yeah is this going to happen they're just like i found a piano i'm so shy they're drunk yeah 2004 mustang you know they peeled in what did they play that's what i want to know what song oh i would love to i would love to know the songs brenda rinandi with the regular steadies in the can or meatloaf meatloaf would be great home sweet home that's how much i feel the church pastor discovered the break-in that morning and called the police detectives and patrol officers worked to identify the suspects using surveillance footage police were able to

identify the females 2004 mustang painting it that way not a bad girl they quickly found both suspects from there the two later confessed and surrendered the stolen the stolen church items they quote this is from detective fry they just admitted it was dumb probably should not have done it they knew it was a mistake inherently. They did not apologize. And you were right. The first date dynamic of like, yeah, I guess I'll get you. This is what you're into?

I mean, I don't want to be diamond in the rough, maybe. Indian Lake Peninsula Church Administrative Pastor Drew Alton said he hopes the two people at least learned something from their actions. I would tell them, don't let this incident define you. Adam said he's grateful for the police for their quick response. I will ask you guys this. How old is the couple?

They are the same age. Okay. Same age. Are you going one, you know, both are recently divorced trying to live it up or their 2004 Mustang. Are they young and dumb? And it's hers. And it's hers.

And she drove. Or did she say to him, you can drive this if you want. Right. Or did she say, I have cataracts. I'll steer. You tell me what color the light is. Okay. So how old?

There's a lot of questions here. You know what? I'm going to say 42. 42 years old. Jeez. That's a good one. I'm going to say 26. 54. 54? Yeah. We'll get out of story one on one. I'm going to say 26. 54.

We'll get out of story one on this before I hand it over to Jason. When I come back, I will tell you what I'm up to and we'll hear what Chris Estrada is up to as well, but I can tell you guys that the couple who steal drumsticks, collection plates, four Bibles, shocked that they found a piano when that's what they were looking

for on a first date. Crushed a version of Allentown. Are 20 years old. Oh, my God. Dan, I almost said 19. So young. So young. Chris and I went the opposite.

All right, we're going to take a break. We'll come back and find out what Dan's doing and what Chris is doing. It's Dumb People Town with the great Chris Estrada. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make it sound. There's more dumb people town hey guys welcome back to the show before we get into how you can follow chris and we're going to talk a lot about this fool uh dan tell us when people can see you you got stuff coming out yes the wine i think in february i should be announcing it soon if i haven't already but But go to DanielVanKirk.com. I'm going to be doing a weekend in D.C.

And then I have other dates that I will be doing through March and April. Pacific Northwest. Might be going to Hawaii. Do Waikiki and then do Kauai. So everything's up at DanielVanKirk.com. The official pronunciations of those. Waikiki. Yeah, yeah, Waikiki.

I will be uh doing shows everywhere leading up to the special which i think is going to drop in april the rose gold hour so you'll still have a chance to see that and i'm probably forgetting stuff but if you go there you'll see in my brand new website thanks to green iv collective i just want to shout out a good townie who said i'll fix your website i love it name's aaron she's awesome i love it uh chris estrada is with us and if you haven't seen this fool and this fool uh do you get that brought up all the time you're gonna love this fool and yeah this next fool he's on the show so here's what i love about it as a person who didn't grow up in that it like to me as i'm watching i'm like okay this shares a lot of really

great stuff with reservation dogs, which I love too. I feel like those shows are very hand in hand, but I'm like, I love that this is in culture and sort of the way you were brought up that I was not, and yet I have full access to it. Yeah. We try to make it so we try to not make it too referential in a way we try to make it so, we try to not make it too referential in a way. We try to make it like incredibly specific, but in a way that like the problems are as universal as anything else. Completely achieves that. And somebody like Frankie, who's so good at that sort of style as well. Like the dress up gang makes the biggest things out of the smallest incident.

Yeah. Smallest incident. And finding that nuance in relationship and everything else. Because when you, you know, this is sort of happens with Chicago. You say Chicago or you say South Central, people have these first like thoughts about it. And to go like, no, this is about relationship and about people. It's not. It's life here and growing up here and perceived notions of who people are or what they should be.

Yeah. We were really inspired by the movie Friday. Do you guys remember Friday? And how much of a like, kind of like you didn't have to be from that world to really like enjoy that movie percent and the way we like pitched it was always like Friday but directed by the Coen brothers. Yeah so we can make the show a little off

be just like more cinematic and it's beautifully done man. I truly it's like if you're thinking and I know people certainly as you go into the break if people don't know the show already if you're're not on it, like get on it. You can just binge and watch the whole damn thing. Yes.

And catch up. Some time around the holiday. Are you guys making more? What's the story? We're waiting to hear. Okay. We can do this, you guys. We can make this happen.

So everyone watch it and let Hulu know that more needs to be made. Yeah. Power of literally just at and then company. This show is amazing yeah this show loving this one yeah it really goes a long way because they expect us to say it yeah they expect us to say of course they're going to be like of course you want it to happen right i always say one audience member is the equivalent of 10 creative people yeah yeah in terms of like in terms of just saying yes i want to see this because it's indicative of like an audience

yes you know did you get that from people who just, you know, fans who found the show and found you and they're like, oh my God, you just, you totally captured my experience. Yeah. I get a lot of people. You know what's so funny? I get random people who I wouldn't expect. Like I got a message from this guy who was like, I'm Polish. I moved here to the States when I was like in my teens and my mom's a janitor.

And we have an episode where the mom character steals toilet paper from her job. Such a great episode. And she was like, he was telling me, he goes,

I really relate to it because like my mom was a janitor and she stole cleaning supplies from her job. Sure. Toilet paper all the time. So just like,

you'd be surprised who it resonates with. Yeah, the more personal it is, the broader it is. Yeah, so yeah, I always get really nice,

like people always like, it really resonates with me, all types of people so i love it again we grew up as jews in st louis and i'm like watching this show and i'm like man i get everything that's going on right that i fully connect with it and then of course you have like crazy character like frankie's character that is unique and you haven't seen it before it's also okay to be like this is a world i don't know. They're sharing information to me about this relationship. I feel like Rami. Like,

yes, I know that's a great, that's a perfect example of a world that I don't know. And I'm like, yeah, this is great. Even the British office, when the first British office came out and they're like making fun of a town

nearby, like Slough. And I'm like, yes, or that's where they are they make fun of the next time i'm like yeah like i like i don't know any of these references but i get what they're saying but i get it because i've done that right there is a there is a that town in our life all right this fool check it out anything else where people can see you

live stuff and whatnot i'm gonna be at american comedy co in san diego december 21st to the 23rd. So right before Christmas. Yeah, there you go. There's your Christmas present down there in San Diego. Go see him and I'm sure those shows will sell out. So get your tickets now. Love it. All right. This was sent in by Carlene McDermott.

She be Carlene. Wonderful. Here's the headline. Court spectator jailed for laughing at jury from gallery during, and I won't tell you how big the price was, during a tax trial. So, guy in the gallery. Yeah. Why is it called peanut gallery?

That is supposedly racist, actually. Really? Yes. We're not supposed to say peanut gallery anymore. What is it? How? What do we know? I think it maybe had to do with, I don't know, so I don't want to speak out of school but i definitely think it's like i'll look into it thinking slave

peanut farmer type of a thing really yeah so we can't say peanut gallery we can't say gallery yeah i'd rather so this this like if i go if i okay this is gonna jury this fool is jury duty summons you're like as comedians and people, we are creative time. We're like, this is the worst thing that could ever happen. But they're not even a jury, right?

I know this person, someone watching the laughing at the people in the jury and it's making people uncomfortable. So the person in the gallery gets jailed. There are people who just go to watch court. It's very, they are the jury. And you're looking at people out in the court.

You're like, what are you doing? How boring is your life? I mean, you can just watch judge court, you're like, what are you doing, man? How boring is your life? Thank you. You could just watch Judge Judy, Judge Mathis. Right. You can laugh all you want. I will tell you, though.

There's so many shows. When we caught shoplifters when I worked at Marshall Fields, you'd have to go to court, you know? Oh, were you loss prevention? Yes. I love loss prevention people. I've written a whole pilot about it. Dude, nobody takes their job more serious this is the crux of my pilot because i was just in college but they were all waiting to be chicago police officers exactly this is stepping stone this is their knob get this guy to executive

produce that pilot it gets made i worked at jc penny and i worked at a department right under loss prevention and we had to check in employees bags and whatnot but loss prevention people serious serious dude and i heard a story one time where there was one guy caught this guy and he was you want to do this shit here you take that to the other town he had like our loss prevention is better than there he had civic pride wrapped into his job it was a guy i think he worked in montebello and he goes you want to do this shit in montebello you take that shit to east that way we don't do that here that's so funny i love it kills me all right here we go but you have to like so anyway i was just saying there there was sometimes where you'd sit there and be

like this is a show for free yeah there was some crazy shit that happens but how loud is your laugh we've all experienced somebody especially if you're shooting a special where you're like i you you can't laugh oh yeah as a comedian you've gotten those laughs where you go god your laugh is so annoying i wish you didn't find me funny right yes i wish so how are you're all over my special robert de niro and cape fear that's a level of laughter it can't be once right no no and it has to be sinister and pointed yeah at the movie theater all right a man spotted of course it's a man of course who was spotted laughing at the jury during a complex i won't tell you how much this tax fraud trial okay has been jailed for contempt of court construction worker michael moynihan not going to tell you his age are you there was seen

pointing at the jurors and chuckling to a friend as judge stephen everett was finishing his summing up of 14 weeks of evidence at chester crown court so he's just roasting the jury to his buddy that's listening to jurors who saw moynihan pointing at them were said to be obviously affected of course and we're looking down at their feet as they later filed in and out of the jury box what because he was making fun of their feet so maybe it's like intimidating or something like you can't yeah he's the worst intimidator in the world the person no one else is supposed to know you're intimidating this person that's right like. It's supposed to be on the very, like... Yeah. But then other people look around and you go... Like that, yeah, you don't do anything.

Just a little laugh out loud. I like that he points at them and he does this. The finger eyeglasses. Look at these nerds over here. You want one of these? What's up, nerd? If I may, Your Honor. Moynihan was asked to leave the courtroom by staff,

but he initially refused to go and then declined to give up his name all right bro if someone's like you're bothering the jurors get out of here and if he's like oh sorry i'm sorry i'm just laughing with my friend he doesn't go to jail right this is the thing i've talked about from when not like the years working door in downtown bars yes i used to think some guys wanted to fight until i realized that some men want to lose a fight right they want to get some men want to get punched in the face there's exact i have a buddy like this yeah and then because i don't think he grew up like in a way that he's

been punched in the face before right and he wants that i go dude you're being don't want this yes you don't want this i go you know what because now it's kind of selfish of you because now you're being self-destructive. You don't want this. Yes. You don't want this. I go, you know what? Because now it's kind of selfish of you because now you're putting this bouncer in the situation where he might get in trouble because you want to be a martyr. Right. Right. It's like somebody can't swim

jumping in the water like we talked about the other day because now someone has to save you and they might drown. I feel like this guy went to court to get arrested. Yeah. Just like he went to,

a guy goes to a bar to get punched. He's like, i'm a bad guy i deserve to be behind bars what can i do god i wish he was that self-aware it's just probably they're so stupid that dan's right because listen the judge asked him to leave immediately he answered back you ought to be patient what does that mean oh my you want to be patient what does that mean oh this is like the worst episode of Impractical Jokers. Right. Like, Sal is in his ear being like, tell him you want to be patient.

Say something that doesn't make sense, quick. You know, at first hearing that story, I was like, you know what? Maybe they're being too hard on this. This guy's an asshole. Right. Thank you. He deserves what he gets. Yeah, this is the prequel to 60 Days In.

All right. So he was subsequently arrested, and it was discovered that he had been at the court for a different trial over unrelated public orders matters. So this guy is a public disturbance. So maybe he's pissed off about his thing? And he's now going to disrupt this other court. Now, if I'm the two jurors who he's laughing at, I then go to his trial and laugh at him. Yeah.

Well, here. You want to hear? You want to kind of? Or I just, I don't laugh at him. I just show up in his gallery front row and just be like stare at him yeah why are you nodding do you want to be confused about how you feel about this guy yeah moynihan of elzamir port cheshire who lost his left leg in an accident in 2021 now i'm on his side come on was jailed for 21 days after being found guilty of contempt of court. Now I'm upset with him.

All right. Everett said. This happens a lot. Just because life did you bad, you don't get to be an asshole. You lost a lot. And you know what? You're going to lose a court case. He didn't have a leg to stand on in that trial. Come on.

Guys, that's a show. Folks, thank you so much. We'll be here all week. I get it made me better. He was really leaning in. We won't talk. He only had one leg to stand on talk he only had one leg to stand up everett said that if the jury members he was hopping mad you know come everett said that if

the jury members had asked themselves why he had been pointing and laughing at them it could have led to the trial being abandoned right he described moynihan's actions as quote threatening and arrogant the trial itself was part of a criminal proceeding that had been going on for how many years? Oh, my gosh. Six. Six years from Daniel. I'm going to say two. Two.

Twelve years. Twelve years a trial. You're closest, Randy. Ten years. Wow. That it cost the taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars. The judge told Moynihan, it's important that everybody understands that the court...

These people have been on jury duty for ten years? ...is a place where people have to pay... Oh, my God. Could you imagine? Oh, my God 10 years. It's a place where people have to pay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Dan. That's a weird situation. What do you do? Well, for the past decade, I've been a juror. You could do 10 seasons of that sitcom.

It's like The Office, but it's jury duty. Jury number three. If you do not believe in, how great was that joke in Jury Duty? No, no. Have you seen that show, by the way? Jury Duty? Oh, yeah. That was great.

James Marsden. I mean, brilliant. Marsden's so good. Another Hulu show. Watch them both. No, but what was the joke, the name of the show, the movie she was doing on 30 Rock? The Rural. The Rural.

The Rural. The Rural. The Rural. The Rural. The Rural. The Rural. The Rural. The Rural.

The Rural. That joke will never not be funny okay so you've been in a writer's room so you're in a writer's room and there are the jokes that like you make the writers go crazy we're just in a writer's room this whole last couple weeks and there are jokes that just make you crazy and you have to be smart enough to know that like this is just for, yeah. The rural juror is a joke that I thought probably cracked the writer's room up. And it made it in. And we all love it. I think about it. Like, weekly, I think about that joke.

The rural juror. It's brilliant. So the judge, it's important that everyone understands that the court is a place where people have to behave, of course. Yes, it's a courtroom. People do not behave in court. This isn't. We're heading down. This isn't an Aldi. To anarchy. course it's a courtroom people do not behave in court this isn't we're heading down uh this isn't an aldi to anarchy and that's a problem i found your behavior threatening

and arrogant it wasn't just rude it was way beyond that and what concerned me most it was threatening to the jury jury and i see that they saw this stuff you know what i'm this is the joker joaquin phoenix is the joker this is a Joker without makeup. Yeah. Same level of comedy, too. So you want to hear someone more awful than that? I do. Moynihan's counsel, his lawyer. Oh, God. Kay Driver.

She's like a- Kay Driver. Not Minnie Driver. Kay Driver. Kay Driver. Every kiss begins with Kay Driver. Her client has been on painkillers, and that made him too relaxed. I had a feeling that-

I was like, this- He might be- This is like a guy with diabetes maybe he had a medication issue right he took the wrong medication the woman on the plane who's like relax doesn't work but here's where it continues adding that he believed the person on the jury was someone he had gone to school with and pointed him out to his friend that motherfucker ain't real remember that woman on the plane so like this that's what she's claiming this is one of those moments driver a driver said moynihan apologizes for his language and behavior adding he realizes now that he that could be very once he realized that

a punishment this is your friend once he realized that he could get actually punched in the face once a fist came close to him he's like i don't want this yeah i don't want this anymore here it is despite fears that the trial might have to be abandoned due to them feeling intimidated the panel later convicted two men including the mastermind of a fake designer clothing scam who ran one of the uk's largest ever carousel tax frauds i want to find i want you to tell me how much how much was the case the tax fried tax fraud case in pounds in pounds how much we're gonna have to buy a converter for this well i mean whatever but i say 10 million pounds i was gonna say 10 million pounds there you go you all right they can both say 10 what do you say 65 million pounds how about 150 million pounds that's so many pounds and we're gonna get out

of here on this before we toss it to ran how old is michael moynihan the guy in the construction there's no way this guy's under 50 a construction worker i'm gonna say 54 who lost a leg 61 54 61 41 41 get your answers in, and then Randy will do a little tease on. Story number three? Story number three. Oh, no, I have a story number three. No, it's me. You're in a different doc.

Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. Guess how old? 31 years old. Oh, 31. 31 years old. Young.

That guy's lived a life. 31 to lose. Missing a leg? Yeah. Construction worker, lost his leg, intimidating people going to jail. Arrested for intimidating witnesses. 31. There's a lot of stuff going Yeah. Construction worker lost his leg intimidating people going to jail. 31. There's a lot of stuff going on. It's a crazy story in court. Story number two down. Chris Estrada's with us. His show, This

Fool, is unbelievable on Hulu. You guys should be watching and then go check him out live wherever you can. Follow him on social media. We'll come back and tell you what we have going on on Story 3. It's Dumb People Town with Chris Estrada. We'll be right back. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Make it sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys.

Welcome back to the show. Before we get into segment three, I want to remind people, not sure exactly when this drops, but Randy and I, beginning of the new year. Beginning of the new year, January 4th, we're going to be in Portland at Helium. I love that club. One night only. First show. Let's fill it out. Let's go Portland.

Let's fill it out. Let's sell it out. And then the next night, we're at the Crocodile, the 5th of January. We'd love that club. It's part of the Wet City Comedy wet city comedy are you doing am northwest when you're in portland oh i don't know maybe steve oh yeah we might we should we absolutely should steve and helen yes i love those guys we absolutely should because we're getting in the night before and doing a private yeah so then i become buddies if i reach out or i can reach out to him yeah please do it because we want to sell i want to sell that out that out. And then beginning of February, we're back in Denver at Comedy Works.

I'm sure you've been there. Oh, yeah. I love that club. We're at the South Club, which I love too. Both clubs are amazing. Amazing. We had great shows last time. We want to do the same this time.

Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle at the beginning of March. And then Acme in Minneapolis at the beginning of April. Moontower at the end of April. And then we'll in Minneapolis at the beginning of April, Moon Tower at the end of April. And then we'll see maybe Alaska in May and then future stuff down the line. I really want to get back to the bell house and do a live Dumb People Town. We just did it.

When do you want to do it? We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Let's see if we can attach it to something. Spring or summer, maybe we'll do it. I love the bell house so much. And we'll be back there. And Kenan Thompson said he'd be a part of that one.

I know. That was great. We'll do that. Anyway, good stuff happening. Superscleros.com.. I know. That was great. We'll do that. Anyway, good stuff happening at superscleros.com. You can check all that stuff out and if this is

before Christmas, if it drops then, Daniel Van Kirk and I did a little thing in the Kenan Thompson Kevin Hart end of the year special on Peacock

that Jay and I wrote on. Is it back that year up? 2023? Back that year up. It's on the 26th. And it'll probably just exist on Peacock after that.

Oh, for sure. You can watch it whenever you want. Great holiday watching. It's a really fun show. I got to see some of the other stuff like it's like early daily show segments and interviews and stuff like that and it's just a great fun show those guys clips and jokes and characters and really good stuff all right shall i jump into this final story sent in by guess who carlene mcdermott at shibi carlene so our fans is the way to do it uh chris is our fans can just

we're still on x still on twitter at skly brothers at daniel van trying to use threads more i like threads i needed to get a little bit better with this like search optimization so maybe eventually we jump over maybe jump over threads but right now it's it's on you just add daniel mccurk at skly brothers hashtag dumb people town send us the story you guys have been doing great so we are so i mean i'm like in august right now looking for stories and it's fun it's we have a backlog but here we go i'm going to read you the uh headline this is just a fun little story dutch police arrest quote boris johnson for drink driving incident drunk driving incident suspect had fake driver's license with the prime minister's photo and date of birth.

So this is not Boris Johnson prime minister. This is someone else claiming to be Boris Johnson trying to get this dude. Yeah. A DUI. And the Dutch have just, uh, elected like the most far right guy ever. So it's like,

what? Like, I'm sure they're just going to start throwing everybody in jail. Now, Dutch police arrested a man in a drunk driving incident over the weekend and discovered that his driver's license named him as Boris Johnson. The fake Ukrainian driver's license. Why do we got to bring Ukraine into this?

Yeah, yeah. Why? They're going through a lot. They are really going through a lot. Can we not have them in like driver's license scams here? Complete with the former British prime minister's picture and correct birthday. So it didn't... Did you have a fake ID growing up?

I had a fake ID growing up. Okay, where was it? What did it say you were? Got it here in LA in MacArthur Park. There you go! You took it outside, took the photo outside? I took the photo in an apartment. They had an apartment set up.

Were you like, I'm going to someone's apartment, I don't know what's going to happen to me? Yeah, well, if you go down there, you can get anything in MacArthur Park. Yes, you can. Downtown Los Angeles, over in Westlake. And if you kind of walk around, somebody eventually will say, in Spanish, they'll go, Micas, which means like fake ID.

Amazing. Nice. And I'm like, let's go. Let's go. I was like 18 at the time. Of course. I wanted to get into bars. Did it say you were 21, or did you push it up a couple years?

No, I pushed it up to like it was 24 okay yeah yeah i mean that's great i mean we had an old bit so when we were one of our first stand-up bits our first band of debts ever like some guy built a huge in our fraternity built a huge board for the kentucky for a kentucky driver's license and we took our picture outside on the roof of the house because he's like the lighting's better outside we're like i don't think we should be outside yeah like what drive sure you know should leaves be blowing through the photo yeah right there's a dog catching a frisbee behind my head I don't think that's ridiculous all right so the fake Ukrainian driver's license had Boris Johnson's picture on it you either better look like Boris Johnson yeah why wouldn't it be your who's dumb here The person who wanted it or the person who made it?

Or is he trying to get Boris Johnson in trouble? Yeah. Picture incorrect birth date was issued on July 24th, 2019. The date he moved into 10 Downing Street. So this is like he's moved. This is the day he moved in as UK's leader. And is it valid until the year... You want to guess when this thing is valid till

on this probably only supposed to be five years so what do you think this is in 2019 yeah so 2024 what do you think 2029 what do you think i'm gonna say even crazy i'm gonna say like some 2030 or how about the year 3000 that's how you know this shit is fake is this conan o'Brien? It's the year 3000. All right, police spokesman. I'm not going to get this right. T-H-I-J-S. How would you pronounce that? T-H-I-J-S. J-S?

Thiege. Thiege. Thiege? Yeah. Thiege D'Amstra said, officers investigated the incident shortly after midnight Sunday when a car crashed into a pole near the Emma Bridge in the northern city of Groningen. The car was abandoned. Groningen? Again?

The car was abandoned, but the police later told the driver was standing on the bridge. So definitely this guy's drunk or smoked too much weed. It is Amsterdam. It is Dutch. Okay. The person could not identify himself and refused to undertake a breathalyzer test, as Dampster told him. And this was the ID that he, the Boris Johnson.

I'm going to be honest. I can't tell if that looks great or bad. It looks like Boris Johnson. Yeah, but I mean, does it look like it blends together? It definitely doesn't look like it was taken in the DMV. No, it looks like a photo taken in Boris Johnson's office or outside. I mean, he's washed out. Yeah, he always has flyaways.

Again, very sunny. He's washed out yeah he always has fly away again it's very sunny he's washed out he's washed out this image was taken from the instagram account of the netherlands police grunt so they put that on their uh groningen center on may 1st 2023 shows the official holding ukrainian driver's license featuring an image of uh boris johnson and groningen after a driver was arrested the item was recovered from his vehicle how old is this we can get that at the end for a small town in zwedhorn west of groningen so this is a dutch guy with this driver's license was arrested what if he looks exactly i'm like most dutch people i have a ukrainian driver's license that's what mine is van kirk would i go with the the dutch thing all right inside police

found fake driver's license belonging to boris johnson unfortunately for this person we we did not fall for this forgery this is the police in ground again being like cheek yeah i mean sorry we didn't we think that's the police being funny yes yeah because of course they no one's gonna fall for it i agree i like to imagine this was a 19 year old wearing a boris johnson mask or hair because he does have like trumpy and like messed up hair a lot of times he looks like lloyd from dumb and dumber too yeah yes very lloyd police could not say where the forged document was made but former russia correspondent kaisya uh hexter in a tweet published by theOS said that the fake driver's license could easily be bought in tourist shops in Ukraine. Wait, the Russian person is accusing Ukraine of doing this.

That's weird. Don't ask. As far as I'm aware, the real Boris Johnson was not in the Netherlands at the time. As far as I'm aware. Yeah. How old? You got to look like your driver's license. Right.

How old was this guy who was trying to be Boris Johnson? Trying to be Boris Johnson. Crashed his car into a pole. No, that was his fake driver's license. How old is this person? I wonder if he's got a driver's license from when he's like, I'm going to drive drunk. Let me take my drunk driving. Getting a fake license doesn't feel like an old man's game.

It doesn't. Unless you're an immigrant and you need some sort of... That's why I think this person is young and i also think just the idea that they didn't look that it was three like the year three thousand they're definitely not checking not dotting the i's and crossing the t's so to speak i'm gonna say early 20s how are you 22 22 what do you think because you really don't need a dry i'm gonna go 36 36 okay 27 one of you yeah is one year off. I'm going to go 36. 36. Okay. 27. One of you is one year off. So now you get to go up or down.

I'll go 35. 35. What are you going to go? I'll go 23. 23. I'm going to go 28. Okay. Get your answers in townies.

The great Chris Estrada. He'll be back. We love him in dumb people town. He is the best. This fool. Watch this fool. Watch it. I'm telling you guys are going to love it so much.

Send a message. Tweet out at Hulu. Go see Dan. Go see Dan. Danavankirk.com. Go see us. Watch it. I'm telling you, you guys are going to love it so much. Send a message. Tweet out at Hulu. Go see Dan. Danavankirk.com. Go see us. Supersclarz.com. See him on the Kevin Hart special. He was hilarious.

I appreciate that. This man from Zuidhorn, west of Groningen in the Netherlands, is 35 years old. Daniel! Daniel! Hey, we love you guys. Have a good one. If this drops around the holidays, I hope you have a wonderful holidays. And oh, shit, we got to get back to work.