Dumb People Town - Chris Sullivan - Six Feet From Under

Episode Date: November 13, 2020

This week Chris Sullivan comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy to hear about a man who uses Kool Aid to scam Wal Mart.

Skypains Avenue Hey, Tatties, welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Sullivan. Chris Sullivan. He has earned the right to chant Dumb People Town with us because he is a fan favorite. He is a return guest. He has a new musical album that is coming out very soon that you guys are going

to dig and love and buy and support and we're so happy to have you here, sir. Are there other people who haven't earned the right but are fans of the show and they come on and they start chanting along and we're like stop stop stop stop we've had to stop a lot of people a lot we've had to stop a lot of chanting that's right but dude it is so good to have this a good time for you new baby new album uh this is us all of it all of it we're getting getting it all at once we just started shooting season five of this is us we're dropping uh a debut record under the name

joseph the spouse on november 19th and i got a brand new newborn baby son named bear maxwell little cub he's a cub now He'll be a bear soon. That's right. I love it. Well, we've got some dumbness in this. As you start to raise a child in this dumb world that we live in right now. These are the things that you must teach him again. You may be the bravest of us all bringing life into this world.

Let's try and navigate it together. I know you know how this goes. We get our awesome stories sent in by our amazing fans. We'll talk about your album and play a little bit of it a little later. But right now, let's jump into a story while we've got it. You ready, friends? Let's do it. Here we go.

This was sent in by Mike. Video game Vita for life. I mean, you want people to know where you stand on things. Yeah. That's not even his handle. That's just what he's going by these days. And you know he doesn't even like video games. And you know he only likes tabletop. You're so stand-up video games no no no no asteroids with

the roller bro yeah mrs pac-man this is no it's ms she's married to me damn it you don't know whether she's married or not she uh handle is at Brew Pounder. All right, here we go. He just loves some brews. Pound and brews. Video games and pounding brews. That's what I do. Looks like we're all out of brew. That's somebody who doesn't

have kids or doesn't have kids. They have a relationship with. Okay, here we go. Naples, Florida, and this first line is florida trying to as whenever florida can be like like distance themselves so i my my wife's stepdad lives in santa bella which is right near naples so i've been to naples i know exactly this area i know it well so let's get into it chris when you did defending theman, did you do it in Florida? I did a tour of Florida that you would have thought was a world tour. Every 20 miles along the coast of Florida is a new town with a theater and a population of people who will come see a one-man show.

Did you just loot the whole thing? Yeah, you just went around the whole peninsula. Yeah. What is it? Clearwater, Naples, Sarasota. Yeah, Tampa. Oh, you're on the other thing. Yeah, you just went around the whole peninsula. Yeah. What is it? Clearwater, Naples, Sarasota. Yeah, Tampa. Oh, you're on the other side. But they all have completely different vibes.

I mean, but they're all still under the Florida umbrella, but they still feel like so different. A completely different psychosis. You're going to see a barefoot, methed out person in the parking lot everywhere, but it's going to be a different one. Yeah. A different level.

Different region. Barefoot for different reasons. That's right. A Florida man who is also a felon out of Ohio. So that's Florida being like, look, we didn't create this person. We can't claim this guy. This guy's a trans plant. Or that's Florida saying, send him our way.

Yeah, we'll take him. We'll take him. You're poor. You're tired. You're felonious. You're shoeless. You're shoeless. For what it used to be.

Yeah, exactly. A Florida man who is also a felon out of Ohio was arrested after police said he used a Kool-Aid packet to ring up merchandise at a North Naples Walmart. So he's doing that self-checkout. a Kool-Aid packet to ring up merchandise at a North Naples Walmart. So he's doing that self-checkout, and he's just he's picks up an item, and then he swipes that and drops something else. Yeah, he's standing the Kool-Aid pack. Y'all bait and switch. You got six Kool-Aid packets.

That's three bags worth of groceries there, buddy. Personal interest. Can you guys tell me what your favorite Kool-Aid flavor was or is mine was always grape. And I know some people love a cherry. There are discernible flavors. It's not just, you know, just call it by color. There's Sullivan's answer.

I mean, is Hawaiian Punch, is that a Kool-Aid? I don't know if that's a Kool-Aid. My favorite flavor was red. Yeah. Red, orange, green, and grape. I'm an orange guy myself. I never drank the Kool-Aid on Drinking Kool-Aid. I don't think I ever came across a green Kool-Aid.

So Drinking the Kool-Aid is based off of like a mass suicide. A mass murder of people. Jonestown. The Jonestown Massacre. And we just throw that one around willy-nilly. Like, guys, I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid on the Cubs this year it's like really you're talking about a mass suicide you're not going to force your child

to drink Kool-Aid and then just lie face down in their own point this could be a good bit for you guys because other things we say all the time that are completely safe like jump the shark yeah that couldn't be more harmless jump the shark it's Fonzarelli literally jumping shark but drinking the Kool-Aid is a mass suicide that we're all referencing and kind of like yeah be more harmless. Jump the shark. It's Fonzarelli literally jumping over a shark and water's coming over a shark.

Drinking the Kool-Aid is a mass suicide that we're all referencing and kind of like, yeah, have you met Dave's new girlfriend? Yeah, I didn't drink the Kool-Aid on her. So you didn't want to contemplate committing suicide because of her. Because imagine if we, in other ways, just said the most horrible things casually. Like, yeah, you know what? I just, I couldn't

rape the dog on that. What? I'm just saying, I didn't, that's not something I wanted't rape the dog on that. Whoa, what? Wait, what? No, I'm just saying. That's not something I wanted to do. Dan, what did you say? We were just talking about ordering dinner salads. Yeah, I'm just saying. Guys, I'm not going to murder the family on this one.

I really don't think I'm going to write piggies on the wall in blood on this one. Jesus. Yeah, that is wild. Good call, Jay. Okay, here we go. According to the Coll county sheriff's office bradley d young no relation to dennis so there's a so sully where did you grow up sacramento california okay so i'm assuming by the way did you see colin hanks's unbelievable

documentary about tower records oh yeah buddy i spent my youth in Tower Records. So God damn, that was so well done. He's a fan of the show and friend of the show. He's been on before. I just, I thought that was so great. But Sacramento had, I'm sure, some good, bad local commercials, like whatever. Absolutely.

It's because Sacramento, even though it's in California, is a bit of a small town. It's the Ohio of California. Yes, exactly. So even the Comedy club in Sacramento, which is a great club, a punchline in Sacramento,

to walk to it, you have to park in like this sort of parking lot that's a strip mall. And then to walk to it, you walk through towards the backside of the strip mall past the creepiest mattress store you've ever been in. It's so weird.

Where are we? It's like, what is happening? Why are we walking through amazing stores? But there was a really bad local commercial in St. Louis where we grew up for lawyers. And you never trusted these lawyers because they always had funny commercials. I'm like, you guys, you're doing

the law. You don't need to be funny. You don't need to jingle. Just be honest. Keep it grounded. So what's this guy's name? It was Rodney D. Young. No, this guy's Bradley D. Young. Bradley D. Young. But in St. Louis, it was Think Young. Rodney D. Young. And it Bradley D. Young. Bradley D. Young, but in St. Louis, it was Think Young, Rodney D. Young, and like it'd just be some weird guy, like

a farmer with a kid in a headlock. Think Young, Rodney D. Young. So Bradley D. Young. But isn't Dennis D. Young the stick? Dennis D. Young was the lead singer. I almost said the sticks. What am I doing that to Eagles? Yeah, it was Dennis D. Young. Is D his middle initial

or is it some kind of slang for The Young? It's his middle initial. And didn't Dennis DeYoung, like didn't he get all like... Yes, I know what you're going to say. So in this, I guess there was the sticks behind the music or something

where the Piazza brothers or whatever, the two brothers who were in the band sticks and Tommy, Rodney De young is an insurance tommy what was the guy tommy in sticks yeah i can't roll deep man what's his name rand tommy who tommy shaw tommy shaw all they want to do is get up and rock and then this dude created this

like rock opera for mr roboto rodney d young the young amigos i'll never be able to afford this Rodney DeYoung, the Young Amigos. They're dressed like the Three Amigos. call 523-1351 today okay so we got it right he got it right so proud of you isn't it amazing that even on youtube like i understand like current commercials let's throw it up on youtube but at some point someone thought that rodney d young's commercial was important enough they're like i gotta upload this on my channel for this moment these two and Jon Hamm. It's probably their joint YouTube account. You're joking, but Randy's about to send that straight to him.

I'm about to send that straight to him. So there you go. Go straight to him. Wait, what were you saying? They wanted to do a rock album and he got in with it? They wanted to do, they just wanted to rock. Tommy Shaw and the Bandsticks were like, hey, we came off these old things like Rock in the Paradise

and all those, you know, that album that was a great album. So the Don't Let It End was the one about like the story about, you know, it was that song. And so but but the Mr. Roboto was they wanted to do a rock opera about a guy who's a robot and he's not allowed to rock. And so he was giving like the Styx members of Styx like lines, lines to read like it was a play on stage. And meanwhile, they're following Ted Nugent in front of a stadium full of people. And they're doing some small play on stage. Guys who aren't actors who are like, so, hey, let me out of jail. I will not let you out of jail.

But I'm just a robot. I am a man. And you're like, wait. And the crowd is just like, play the guy. An arrow shoots past their head. Like Renegade, for Christ's sake. Yeah. I'm a man and you're like wait and the crowd is just like play the guy play the arrow shoots past their head renegade for Christ's sake. Yeah, so that's what they were up against

dynasty young young dynasty young should put that on the album. Yeah, he faces grand theft and shoplifting charges. Oh, Chris is I meant to tell you if you guys all I think ran the person to see me Rand's the only person who didn't see me, but the thing I had on for Halloween with the neck tattoos and the sleeves.

I saw the sleeve. And the gauges and all that. My buddy Riley, who's from Sacramento, was like, dude, I'm going to tell you, you look like you sell tires in Sacramento. And he was like, you don't know how I feel. I've been to that as a... I know that America's Tire Company. I will say this.

The fact that you grew up in Sacramento, uh, Sully, I, I think it allows you to play like the every man character because it's what makes me. Yeah. What's my,

it's what makes me hard. Yeah. One truth. It's where I get my street cred and, uh, it's how everyone can relate to me. Men, women,

mostly children. Right. You jokingly say that, but Sacramento could be a me. Men, women, mostly children. Right. You jokingly say that, but Sacramento could be St. Louis. It could be Rochester, New York. You know what I mean? It's got like a Midwestern sort of... Our friend Dave Newman lives up there, but it's just... Yeah, lots of farmland, lots of different topographies.

Right. So police were called to this store around 5 45 p.m sunday that would not the time i would think you would do your kool-aid scam although or maybe exactly exactly the time yeah right when nobody expects they were called to a threat of theft in progress which means someone was just watching him do this and called the cops live in the moment this is happening swiping it again yeah yeah no it's happening right now. Right now, a store loss prevention officer watched him scam. That was me.

I was a loss prevention. Watched him scan merchandise with a Kool-Aid packet concealed in his hand like he's a little magician. So the items rang up over the brilliant. I know. So the items were rung up ring up

at twenty four cents each. Also didn't. That's how I learned that Kool-Aid doubled in price. I remember when it was like ten ten. That's right. I know. So the items would ring up at 24 cents each. Also, that's how I learned that Kool-Aid doubled in price. I remember when it was like 10, 12 cents. That's right. It's really blown up. Young rang up three packets and some other small items totaling

$24.44. I'm going to ask you guys, what was the grand total of how much worth of merchandise he actually got? So he paid $24.44. Yes. And we want to know how much was he trying. What is the value?

What was this worth to him? Right. But we're going to take a break before we find that out. And before we go to break, we're actually going to play a little bit of Chris's album. This is the song. Chris, I have it queued up here, laughing as hard as I can. Do you have anything you want to say about this before we queue up a little bit on it? No. The record was co-written and produced by Taylor Goldsmith from Dawes.

Oh my God, I love him. And this is the opening track from the record. Can I tell you that I did not know that, but in what I've heard from it, that makes total sense. I love that connection. He's an amazing, amazing songwriter. And there's like, in everything he does, and you too, and again, this goes back to my Sacramento comment, there is a slice of Americana, which is like I would put what I've heard from this album

in that great sort of, in the tradition of like Americana music. Yeah, we'll happily live there. And then when we come back out of the break, we'll come back with a little bit of music, and we'll talk about that too. in that great sort of in the tradition of like Americana music so I really live there and then when we come back out of the break we'll come back with a little bit of music we'll talk about that too all right here we go this is laughing as hard as I can from Chris's new album Joseph the Spice it feels like a joke I don't understand So the next time you see me Please don't be surprised

If I'm laughing as hard as I can I'm in the middle of nowhere And I ain't hurting no more So far it's been no fun But then what do I know I'm still looking for someone Who can make me feel something At least better loving Might be just enough

I love it. It's good stuff. That is the song you sing when it's 1.54. They've said last call. We're all drunk, and everybody's got an arm around each other, and we're all singing this at the bar. That's right. You just parade right out of the bar into the streets.

Into the night, and then go soak up the night with some food. And the cold air hits you, and you're like, I need some gravy fries right now. Right now. That's right. So I got to be chris did his he performed the album uh at largo awesome and uh his wife rachel sings on it and taylor was on it as well it was just it i love how much that sound and that vibe that was in that room

transferred onto this album like you can really feel it yeah yeah that Go ahead, man. I was lucky. I was lucky enough. Taylor brought Dawes in to play the record. So it's not just Taylor. His brother Griffin plays drums on the album. Lee Pardini's on keys. And they all wanted to play live shows, too. So for the most part, when I play live, I'm playing with Dawes. It's incredible. It's a good feeling.

That first song that we heard going into the break was very reminiscent of all the reasons why I love Dawes in that way, too. There is just this. It's storytelling. It's simple. It's really good stuff. I'm so proud of you for doing this album. Thanks, man.

It's great. So go ahead. The name of the album is? The name of the album is? The name of the album is Six Feet From Under, and I'm performing under the name Joseph the Spouse. And yeah, I bring a lot of straight-up folk

Americana to it. And Taylor, you can hear it when you listen, brings a lot of Dire Straits, Jackson Brown vibes to it, yeah. I mean mean i've told you this if to me it's like a great like in the i feel a lot of it maybe it's just because of like the stage banter and like some of the stuff that i love about you and what you bring to the stage but like some of that john prine feeling even like a little bit of like weights and it just it just

it's just a great vibe and really good music to just kind of put on that is going to put you in a place of just a good atmosphere i'll put it in your house or your apartment or your car or whatever i'll put in the same genre as like nathaniel rayliff in the night i'll take that yeah there's like this it's a throwback but it's new and in the same way that it's it's something that like if you're an out like i have buying albums if you have a record player, it's the kind of thing that you put it on on a Sunday, and you're like, it could be raining outside, whatever. That feels good.

So we say to our fans, pick it up. Six feet from under. Yep. Joseph the Spouse, a.k.a. my friend Chris Sullivan. It'll be available everywhere November 19th. November 19th. Love it. Okay. I'm It'll be available everywhere November 19th. November 19th. There you go. Okay. I'm going to ask you guys again.

He rang up three packets and some other items totaling $24.44 for a grand total of how much worth of merchandise? Okay. So Chris, you are a guest. You may go first. You may go TIG, which is in between me and Jay, or you may go third. I'll take the TIG slot. Okay. Jay, go first.

I'm going to say $340. What? $340. Yeah, that's high. I wanted to see where the first slot landed. I'm going to say $227. Okay. This guy is so much more small time.

He is a Kool-Aid crook, as far as I'm concerned. Okay. So, again, Dan. I mean, he's paying for the Kool-Aid. Dan, you forgot. For you, jumping from 10 cents to 24 cents was a huge leap. So I'm going to put it into a Kool-Aid context for you

if I will. Okay, fine. I love a good Kool-Aid context. I don't know if I'll drink it. I don't know if I'll drink that Kool-Aid context. 10958. 10958. This is the Kool-Aid conundrum.

The Kool-Aid conundrum. The Kool-Aid conundrum. Okay. One of you. Come on, Danny. Wait for that. Right. Before I reveal this answer, I'll remind everybody that on 12-12, you've got your holiday Christmas party all lined up because as

Klaas and I are welcoming the dollop to town for a dollop people town office Christmas party. It's going to be a lot of fun. I think I already have both stories. Oh, my God. They are bangers. If I'm putting them aside now, beginning in November,

then you know that they're going to do the best riffers in the world. Plus Mac lethal. One of the best rappers, Kansas city rappers. We're pushing already like close to selling out or halfway to sold out. So people need to get their tickets right now. Then bright.com. Look up live.

I mean, if only to hear Mac lethal's wrapped version of our theme song. Yeah, Look up live. I mean, if only to hear Mac Lethal's wrapped version of our theme song. Yeah, dude, incredible. I know I can't wait. And then on the 20th, come join me for bingo. We're raising money just like we are for dumb people town to we're going to put some money for some good causes. I do that on bingo and Chris Sullivan's going to stop by for that.

We'll probably listen to some of this music there. I love it, but enough. I will tell all of you this because the grand total of the amount of the money, the merchandise, how much it was worth that he rang up for twenty four forty four forty for far is

nine hundred ninety four dollars. Wow, I didn't go far enough. No, we all was the store? Walmart. Walmart. North Naples Walmart.

Dan, there's got to be electronics in there. No, electronics, a bike. It's like an iPhone in there. You don't bring power wheels, trucks. You don't bring ammunition.

That's right. You don't bring Kula. Ammunition is no longer on the shelves at Walmart. I just want you to I guess you bought it all. There are two things. I just, there are now two things that I covet for around my house

that are not electronics that I really want. What? Power drill and a leaf blower. I want two things. Leaf blower. Leaf blower's got to be like 200 bucks. Sure. Here's what I'll say.

Power drill, another 120. So you think he probably had a power drill in there, maybe he had a Dremel, a leaf blower. And an iPod. And an iPod shuffle. Right. A Nano. And just $400 in gift cards.

Yeah. I bet he had like 12 Starbucks cards, and he just fucking Kool-Aid-ing it across. Kool-Aid him down. Up to his. Based off of that alone, he would crush Supermarket Sweep. If he's knowing exactly what to get and ringing up close to a grand, that should be something that you do on supermarket sweep. Can you with a Kool-Aid packet in your

hand just swipe and sort of under swipe? I've always thought they should have a part of supermarket sweep where there's three security guards throughout the store. You have five minutes to shoplift as much as you can without them catching. So to like run around the store and see what you can pocket really quick. If they don't see it

when you do it, you're in the clear. The worker told police she recognized Young from a prior incident at the store. I have no idea what that means. By the way, if you're having incidents at stores, there are other Walmarts. You can go to my mind. He probably tried to fist fight the claw machine.

He tried it once before with a teabag. You can't teabag your way. You tried the teabag. You can't teabag your way. You got a cool. You can't teabag your way through it. You can't teabag your way through life. Bradley D Young BDY if you're nasty. He's young Bradley D Young D Young. She told police that Bradley D Young

also took a soda and a fan from a shelf then returned them to customer service and got a refund of how much money. How much money do you guys think? This is his other scheme. He already did this. Maybe this was the prior incident or the same day.

This had to be the prior incident. He can't take $900 worth of merchandise to the return counter and then return just a fan. That's right. He returned a fan and a soda, which is like, I'm not going to need this. He probably had some theory about it. It's that type

of stuff. They're never going to think you know he drank half of it. Also, Walmart at Walmart. I only need half back. This is bad. This mountain is a box called red, at least in Naples. You could go take something off the shelf, then walk up and return it and they give you cash.

Yeah, take it. How much do you guys think he got for the fan and the soda? We'll get out of here in this, and then we'll hear a little bit more. Okay, Chris, what do you think? If you can go first, take your third. $36. Jay, what do you think? $75. $75. It's a box fan. I don't know. I think I'm going to

say... I need it for sleeping. I'm going to say $42. I bought this box fan. it doesn't oscillate how do you know i don't know it's a box fan dummy right uh okay he received a refund of nine dollars and 48 oh my god you guys are way on the opposite ends of the spectrum it was it was a desk fan yeah it was a little clip-on desk fan. Are those things you hold? It's like propellers. He wanted it to be low enough that they'd be like,

here's 10 bucks. Fine, go away. Do you need Kool-Aid? No, I bought that. All right, that's a story, my friends. We will leave all of you. One more song. Yes, called Raising the Bar. Okay, Raising the Bar. Joseph the Spouse.

Joseph the Spouse. Chris Sullivan. Six Feet from Under. I love the name of the Bar. Okay, Raising the Bar. For Joseph the Spouse. Joseph the Spouse. Chris Sullivan. Six Feet from Under. I love the name of the album. November 19th, album drops. This is a great way to support an artist who we love. And if you're a fan of Dawes and the work that they do, you will see some Taylor Goldsmith

heavily influenced stuff on this album, which is great. It just fits perfectly with that. So Slice of Americana, our good friend Chris Sullivan. Thank you for joining us on the show. Love you, buddy. Here's some Raisin in the Bar. Let's hit it. Oh, a little bit further And I will meet my end

That was beautiful. I can't wait to get the album in. Oh, shit, we gotta get back to work. Dum-dum-dum-dum Dum-dum-dum-dum Dum-dum-dum-dum Dum-dum-dum-dum Dum-dum-dum-dum Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb